Winer Visions For The World
On the steep rosy slopes of your cheeks
Glisten white salty tracks drawn by tears
Naive tales of unity and peace
Can no longer fill your heart with ease
Though you still hear loud choirs of angels
Their clear voices sing anthems of grief
Their sad eyes do not promise salvation
Their soft wings ache so heavy
With fears...
Memories in the winter frost
I wake up where small hours rise,
To see the tempting Sun,
Around me young sunflowers smile -
A new day has begun.
The untouched blue forget-me-nots
Stand glittering in the light,
The Autumn's crawling out of woods,
While Spring is setting flight.
***
Behind a childlike mask
Here I am - born to lose
Unhealed wounds of the past,
My memory still bruised,
My long nights with no sleep -
Just waiting to be gone...
Me demons are my friends,
So i'm never alone.
My mind torn up in pieces -
Not a hint of good thought...
My life is but a show
With a grim, smileless plot
The gods of Hollywood -
They despise plots like mine -
Can't promise happy endings
Can't tell them all'll be fine...
***
These walls of grief surround me
And I cannot break thru
These walls of grief surround me -
My sorrow's not for you!
I cry for all those dreams
That never came to life
I'm weeping for my hopes
Much too frail to survive.
-
These walls of grief surround me
These walls are closing in
There's no more room for pretence
There's no will to be free
-
I slip away to taste
The bliss of giving up...
These walls are now my home.
My home?
My doom.
My trap!
To a cat
Eternal brightness
Of sober mind,
Your silence always careful,
The wisdom in your bluest eyes –
You need not dress in purple!
…
You are – and this may be enough,
For godly is your spirit,
You’ve learned enough in your nine lives –
Your wise paths – they reveal it…
On Memories
Like the red October leaf
On my doorstep –
Middle June,
So come memories to me,
So come feelings, once so true…
- They’re the light that makes me stronger,
Like some February heat,
So when days again get longer –
Memories – don’t abandon me!
Photograph
And the guy on the left
Is allergic to G*d,
He believes in no miracles,
Makes each wonder a fraud.
And the girl in the middle,
With those beautiful eyes –
She seems bad and sinister,
But it’s only disguise!
And that kid in the corner –
He’s got no one to blame,
For his ever romantic
Dreams of pleasure and fame…
So we sit in the photo
With our all – ready smiles,
Even thirty years later,
Watching time going by.
Be'chucot Warsha *
And every day,
The City breathes,
This wild, tear scented, fearless breeze -
As blood beneath its surface flows,
The sky with starry courage
Glows.
Before the hopeful Suns will rise -
G*d, bless the City's
Open eyes...
* "In the streets of Warsaw" in Hebrew.
***
There are warriors
But there’s nothing to fight for
There are judges
But no verdict to pass
Many writers
But there’s nothing to write on
Many people
But of sadly low class…
We keep saying this world has no reason,
We all think we’re the best in the world
-
Narrow minds, empty hearts are our prison,
What to do
To break free –
Few do ask…
On doubt
There are people who fight to be right,
There are people who fight to be wrong,
But I fight to be able to doubt –
He who doubts is dubbed clever and strong!
For in life there are so many “maybes” –
There is hardly a yes or a no!
-
Those who doubt know that life is amazing,
Those who doubt notice children who grow.
Though our life is a fast paced adventure,
Though we struggle not to run out of time,
There are some who know life is a lecture,
Just to teach us the meaning of doubt.
Why should I cry for you?
I got used to an empty bed
I got used to the miles apart
- Love fragranced pillows others have,
I have an aching, breaking heart.
I got used to ungiven gifts
To the endings without a start
- Dream filled spring evenings others have,
I have a breaking, aching heart.
Why should I cry for you, my stranger,
Though you have failed to play your part?
- Long trials for treason others have,
I only have a breaking heart...
On Mistakes
Mistakes are all made in heaven,
Carefully manufactured by G*d.
To understand them takes a forever –
A forever that’s lonely and cold…
When I’m finally old (maybe bitter),
When I learn all that has to be taught,
I may than understand life is prettier,
With those lessons sent from above…
***
Your every breath
- so dear to me,
Threatens the fragile
Candlelight
Your every glance
- heart skips a beat,
Brightens the darkness
Of the night
Your every smile
- my sorrows melt
In happines I've never known
The only fact
I do regret
Is you will never
Be my own
Shall we?
Shall we gather
At Time's deathbed
When his final hour comes?
Shall we see his wisdom shaking
In the fear of setting suns?
Shall we,
All his mighty children,
Shed a tear and mourn his end?
No, my dearest -
We shall tremble
- A new Time is close at hand...
Silence
We seek for words to break the silence,
But once it’s torn – to sew it up
-
We could use hope, or even violence –
It still would never be enough.
For silence is a fragile being,
The spirit of unspoken words
-
Its mystery needs no revealing –
Let’s leave its mystery to gods…
Bat Mitzvah
I am the Daughter of Commandments,
So far from where the Temple stood,
I walk the streets where milions perished,
Turned into Sunrise Avenues.
I keep my eyes and heart wide open,
Hoping that what's foretold will come,
Hoping the sacred Name, unspoken,
Unites the kin of Abraham...
....
I sit in the darkest corner
Of your clueless, tortured mind
And I search for thoughts unbroken
Though I fear what's there to find.
I hear your strong voice now trembling
With desire for new pain -
I know you've been dreaming lately...
My lord, you should be ashamed!
I have failed
I have failed -
Sleeping souls won't wake up
To the voices that promise redemption.
I have failed -
There will be no great flood
All the Scripts have forgotten to mention.
I have failed -
For this world has no reason
Just to turn, hoping to escape time.
I have failed -
But since there are billions,
Why should all the blame ever be mine?!
....
As I look I can see your smile fading,
(as the blue, sun-kissed sky, too, must fade)
I can find no sweet joy of returning,
I can feel your mind turning away.
As I open you, little by little,
(as the old patriarch opens His book)
I can find no words with which to fiddle,
I hear silence thats misunderstood.
As I walk down the path thats emerging,
(as white angels emerge from the snow)
I can find but a castle thats ageing,
I can rest where the rivers don't flow.
The wishes of the proud
Gild the lilies in your garden,
Steal the starlight - paint it gold!
Meet the end and still run further,
Reach perfection and evolve!
Feed your pride with endless prizes -
May your fame forever shine...
- While you let your self - pride flourish,
Please, don't hurt the pride of mine!
...
I walk the streets, no longer mine,
Where as a child I used to play -
With cold denial on my mind,
No tears to cry, No words to say.
I see a friend's face in the crowd -
I freeze, affraid to catch his eye.
I do not want a false "hello"
After a true and deep "goodbye".
Once I was torn and thrown away
From where I thought I'd found a home,
I swore to leave the well known path
And find my own new road alone...
***
Shine like a pearl shines
Subtly in the dark -
Modest but willing
To outshine all stars.
Ache like a soul aches,
Bruised and torn apart -
Never believe in
Time who heals the scars.
Grow but remember
Not to leap to far,
For it's so easy
Just to dissapear -
Wake up your courage
And before you start,
Open your blind mind
In the face of fear...
***
You, with your sparkling
Young ebony eyes,
Centuries of sadness,
Damaged hopes and - Wings,
- Painful sweet memories,
Way back when you flied,
So far from human negligence and tears.
Me - my eyes open, in all shades of blue,
Aiming much higher, but failing to win -
Needless desire,
Where goals are so few,
For my bright beauty
Shines empty
Within.
Us?
The air is so banally sticky
With everything we did not say –
Pretending to play by the rules
When there were none set to obey.
Pretending that we are together,
Because we share the same old lies –
Still sticking by the dumb hellos,
When all that’s left are the goodbyes…
Nowhereland
In the dark of Nowhere forest,
Nowhere leaves on Nowhere trees,
Listening to Nowhere stories,
Nowhere is a soul to see
Nowhere dawn comes gently on me,
Bringing songs of Nowhere birds,
Nowhere death is sweetly calling,
Bringing peace to Nowhere world…
Thou shallst not.
Thou shallst not expect a prize
For thy sacrifice of self –
Sorrow – it will bleed you dry,
History ‘ll put you on a shelf!
Brother, sister – so they’re called,
But they’ll come in dead of night,
-
They will come and leave you cold,
When the sun burns shining bright…
***
I scream in a failed attempt
To suppress the pounding noise
In the airless cage of ribs
My heart stops,
Without a choice.
I won't bother to wake up,
I'll forget to draw my breaths...
Just like I forgot to laugh.
Lord... it'll be
An easy death...
***
I am a sailboat that fails in stormy weather
I am a bullet - fearing gun in fighter's hands
I am the knife that keeps the golden knots together
I am the shortest story that will never end
I am the "yes" where every "no"'s required
I am the soul where all you want is flesh and blood
Alive and kicking when all you are sick and tired
I am the Ark but there will never be a Flood.
G-d's final manifesto
I refuse to contribute
To this craze of live or die -
Planting new forbidden fruit,
In the streets where rose trees die
I refuse to stop your hand,
Slowly reaching for a gun,
Walking 'till horizons end,
Putting out each ray of Sun
I refuse
My hands allmighty,
Numb and tired, laying still
- wind the the clock but fail to start it,
Tightly clutching
My Last Will
1982
She looked at me
As though I were a madman
Needlessly clinging
To hope that matters not
She laughed - I found it
So hard to surrender
Censoring every single smile
Or wink.
Or thought.
She said it's faultless
And I don't need to wory -
She'll keep pretending
She cannot understand
But she won't hide
The fact she's feeling sorry
For the great fool
I've made out of myself.
***
I stand -
Every cell nauseated
With the sickly neon light
Someone in the mirror
Naked
Is it me?
- I can't decide.
I retreat
For fear of losing
Yet the victory
Is long gone
Now I see
My conscience moving
Down Humiliation Road.
***
Seduced by the smell of survival
That I bear - unmistakeably sweet,
You come -
I can sence your arrival
I can hear anxious steps of your feet
...
For many I will be the mother -
As there will be millions like you!
You mourn still the death of your brothers
Hesitate to accept what is true.
...
I'll teach you to hold your head high,
To build what their blind hands distroyed,
I'll teach all the love and the pride,
And the vengeance you have to avoid...
***
All we are –
Small, helpless atoms,
Flying round without a cause –
Feeling strong –
And feeling random,
Yet – we’re clever!
-
(Ah, of course!) …
All the wars that we declare,
Are indeed a fight for peace –
… There’s no need for greater words –
For humanity
Is this…
Temptation.
Fly the seagulls high above me,
In the golden sun's reflection
The hot air vibrates with colour,
Shaking with our shy affection.
I last in your arms, astonished,
Wonder why my heart's still beating,
While the moon, his eyes wide open,
Gives the Earth her sweetest greeting.
Shield the flame,
My G*d. My saviour.
Let me praise your might and mercy,
Let me love all your creations,
Let me touch them,
Let them -
Tempt me...
EROTICA I
I freeze, wound in your heatwave
Of sugarsweet destruction.
You take it as I give it,
Exchanging kiss for kiss.
Imagining I love you,
For just a second's fraction,
I drown in blissful danger,
Without a will to fight...
Alter Ego
You cannot be alone -
There's always me to follow
You cannot be alone -
There's always me to join.
And you cannot be thirsty -
There're always tears to swallow
And you cannot be empty -
There's always pain inside.
But come the darkest hour,
When fallen angels rise,
And I see your hand trembling
And reaching for a knife,
Don't count on me to save you,
Don't hope to keep your life -
Don't forget what I've told you
We both cannot...
Survive.
*** (A different kind of springtime)*
This wind, cruelly laughing
On empty windowpanes -
This wind of senseless lasting -
This wind should be
... Ashamed.
This rain that lingers, pointless
On yellow flowers of May -
This rain of loving passion -
This rain should be
... Ashamed.
Those birds on tree tops, singing
Songs never out of tune -
Those birds, so young and hopefull -
They sing their joy
... Too soon.
* In loving memory of those who died in the Miła 18
bunker, 8.05.1943.
Heroes forever.
***
He said time would come - so I waited.
He said we would last - so I stayed.
He said colors fade -
And they faded...
He could tell angel tears from the rain.
He said we were free - I believed him.
He said there was G*d, so I prayed...
I said if he went I would miss him -
I made but one promisse
And failed.
***
Oh, shan't you burn in hell's fire,
You, with your almond shaped eyes!
Your pure, rose scented desire -
I crave, but cannot
pay the price.
Oh, shan't my sharp sences rebel,
Tempted by your windswept smiles,
Skin soft
Touch painfully tender
And blisfully
lust coloured
blush...
***
I -
The homesick traveler, chased away
With stones and sticks.
I -
The builder of your land -
To build mine - I lack the bricks
I -
The coward you condemned -
Thus securing
Your own fears...
I -
Though hatered chokes your words
Bid you farewell
With tears...
Shabbat I. – Esther
On my mind
There’s no room for sacred questions.
In my heart
There’s too little space for G*d
And my feet
Lost the need to take directions,
From below, from above or from beyond.
Shabbat II. - Rachel
The candlelight shakes as I pray,
For a country I will never know.
For a country of beauty and fear,
In the unloving, strong arms of war.
The blessing I say for all those,
Who know what tomorrow will bring -
New wounds and new unwanted thoughts,
***
And if your blue eyes come drowning
In the dark black shade of grief,
Don't ask me to come here running -
Kill the Time - this shameless thief.
And if your small world comes trembling,
Choked by misty, foggy fears,
Don't expect me to keep waiting -
Hold your breath - and dry your tears.
And if one night you awaken,
Broken dreams all drenched with sweat,
Don't await to see me sitting
Somewhere near your dead - cold bed...
New fake hopes of unity and peace.
On my lips
There’s no trace of holly silence,
And my soul’s only made of flesh and blood
-
Here I am – sinful, reaching for perfection,
As the candles stand neglected
In the dark…
The City Tribute
I hear the old streets speaking
Loud dead tongues of the future,
The crossroads filled with questions,
Corners where both ends meet.
Forget the pavement cracks,
Filled with all - time rejection,
The passing but eternal
Weight of ignorant feet...
...
They ache and suffer silent -
Those milestones undercover,
While we, ungreatful beings,
Behold with thoughtless smiles -
But if it hadn't been
For dusty streets and railroads,
There would never be memory,
And there would be no us.
A girl with a matchbox
I am a little girl -
A matchbox in each hand,
I try to make a living
On ilusions of warmth.
Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and misleading,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end.
My mommy, she's long gone
Into the sunny distance
My daddy, he's gone to,
And he will not be back.
Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and insistant,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end.
My hands in hole - filled gloves,
They grow colder and colder,
From reaching out for help,
That I will never get.
Your hungry eyes, they haunt me,
So stubborn and insistant,
But one day I'll be famous -
One day all this will end...
Phoenix
I
Reborn from the ashes
With a touch
Of your hand
In black suede.
I
Still broken
But doubtless
Rid of all
Dirty wants
Useless needs.
I
When tomorrow is over
Will go down
In sky high
Silver flames
I Will leave all
Time's gates open
And begin
My flight stronger
Again.
What I will never be
I know the well dressed heroines
Of all well written books -
With lips
In everlasting smiles,
They all have filmstar looks.
They never cry,
And they don't mind
How loud your shouting gets -
They live their ever - perfect lives,
And they have no regrets.
They all sleep with their make up on,
They know no tears,
No sweat,
And they collect
Men's broken hearts, they easily forget.
Good Lord, I whisper every night
Before I fall asleep -
Thank you I am not one of them -
Don't ever let me be!
A MOTHER'S PRAYER
*
Dear Lord,
Please bless my Children,
May their eyes be angel-blue
May their days not be hatestricken
May their minds avoid the truth.
May their hands be busy gathering
Sweet fruit of a different land
And,
My Lord,
Let them forget why
Motherhood
Could not withstand.
* dedicated to the Mothers who have sacrificed their lives in the dark times of the Shoah.
***
Never say you have gone your last way
- A new path will emerge soon enough,
Never say you have gotten your share
- There will still be more reasons to laugh,
Never say you are waiting for help,
When you know very well none will come,
Never cry, or admit that you're scared
- They will use it and tear you apart.
***
You turned me into an
Insomniac’s lullaby.
A book for mad and crazy
On how to be insane.
What use am I –
A mourner,
But one who’d never cry?
Why am I here -
Still changing,
But to remain the same?
You made me –
Self negation.
A shadow with no sun.
Self satisfying hunger.
A wound that lacks it’s pain.
You made me to neglect me,
But you and me are one.
And one day, I must tell you –
You will suffer the same.
EROTICA II
May that absent moment last
In the mirror of our dreams
May the secret fogs go down
Covering sweetly all our fears
May our hands reach satisfaction
In each other's dangerous warmth
May our souls - Forever factured?
Tear the ropes and be as one...
***
My happiness you judge
With bitter laughter snatches
My bravery you praise
With lucky runaways
My future you define
With "happily-ever-afters"
Surrounding me with low class
Deeply envious respect.
My leadership you follow
Knives pointed at my back
You trust the shallow stories
Unwanted people tell
But you should not forget that
These are my territories
So if you wish to stay here
Your hate you should regret.
"I am not crazy, my reality is just different than yours."
My unplanned suicidal commitment
(With myself I am deeply at war)
And my friends, always loud, but persistent
(Though invisible - hard to ignore!)
And the answers
(Not busied by questions)
And the dawns in the middle of nights
(Some still argue they are "nonexistent"!)
And unthinkable, skin-deep delight.
Endless quarrels - with self found theories
(For I hide the Philosopher's Stone!)
My emotionally stable history
(Of this visibly unstable world)
Is all this to much for you, my darling?
Are you stuck in your four thoughtproof walls?
I know ignorance's sweeter than honey
But to stick with it still means to fall!
Listen to me, girl!
He told me that he loved you
But when he tried to write
Words didn't seem enough
Listen to me, girl!
He said each breath was torture -
Each breath he drew without you,
Each day seemed like a lie
Listen to me, girl!
I know his heart's wide open
And if you should get lost -
Don't wonder where you are
Listen to me, girl!
I hope you'll always know that
If all is gone and over,
You're safe inside his mind...
A DOLL'S CONFESSION
I am a doll -
A doll from your corner
You used to love me
And you used to care
Now you've grown old -
All good times are over
But to say I'm lonely
Would still be unfair
I have hot tears to keep me company
My face - stigmatized
- A motionless smile!
I've prayed for so long...
Yes, it may seem funny -
A doll praying that
G*d would let her cry...
BEWARE
I am so deeply lost
In your hazy embrace
A maze of foggy half - truths
And misty quarter - lies
I am so disrespectful!
Spit angels in the face
I make stormy love to you
In courtrooms of the skies
I give promisses easily
Fearless of Judgement's Day
I follow the prophecies
I see in your blue eyes
But if you should betray me
I will teach you a lesson
About revenge and hatered
Of devils in disguise...
FAIRYTALE GONE WRONG
This fairytale's gone bad -
New soundless tears - they fall,
There in a chamber where
Our Sleepless Beauty dwells.
This fairytale's gone wrong -
Where the horizons end
Old Cindirella sits,
Combing her smoke filled hair.
Prince Charming, he is gone -
Gone straight out of his mind
And Snowy's lips have long
Turned whiter than the snow
-
But there is noone here
To show them a new road -
Their golden age is over,
All children have now grown...
Looking for hope
I've lost my hope
If you find her send her back
I'm sure she's still
Wearing that green dress she loves
I know she's cold
But I don't think she is scared...
It's only me...
I refuse to be alone.
I've lost my hope
If you find her send her back
You'll know it's her
When you see her deep blue eyes
I'm still alone
And I don't think this is fair
Please heavens, please...
I will need my hope tonight...
***
A crushed golden watch that escaped
A deeply scarred wrist –
A cry for attention
-
A sigh of a heart in regret -
When G*d made His plans
Our love was not mentioned
-
A hunger that longs to be fed.
A train going nowhere –
Forgotten direction
-
A thunder still thirsty for rain.
A planet that turns -
But misses perfection.
Sisters
My sister was a beauty
When she came home at night
Surrounded by an aura
That I deeply abhorred
My sister was a beauty
With sweet effortless power
Of blonde, blue eyed perfection
All boys blindly adored
My sister was a beauty
So pretty that it hurt
As I watched her, resentful,
From behind those black eyes
My sister had all those things
That I could only ache for
Until the heavy, muddy
Death train stopped by last night…
***
I don’t want your mercy,
Not any more
-
My heart can’t beat – broken
My body is sore
-
And every faint shiver
That goes through my head
-
Before it’s a thought -
It’s already dead.
And yes, I may hate you
You dare not forbid!
-
Your hunger for violence
Jealousy and greed
-
And yes I will die
And death might come soon
-
But instead of mourning
You’ll yearn for the moon…
Daughters of Zion
Farewell to you,
Young daughters of Zion -
I walk away to find
My own Promised Land
Farewell to you ,
Who grow in denial,
Who fight old oppression,
While new one has come
Farewell to you -
Your fury
-Fist – clenching
Your beauty
-Unnoticed
Your nights
- Filled with fear
Farewell to you,
So lonesome in waiting,
Young daughters of Zion -
Who shall dry your tears?
***
I stepped on this train
For reasons unknown
And left my poor soul
Alone in past times
I stepped on this train –
Determined to go
And left my crushed soul
Few stations
Behind…
I stepped on this train
And as years float by
I seek and I search
But still do not know
I seek and I search
Unable to find
I still cannot get
Away from my soul…
***
First and foremost
Let me enjoy
A cup of coffee
Each day at five
Let me forget
That there’s a Wall –
A Wall with two Sides,
A wound in the sky
Let me forget
All those
Who are waiting
To get back the freedom
That they were denied
Let me forget
Divine interventions
Thanks to which I
Am here
On this Side…
The theory of Plato
Even old Plato said
There will be us forever
-
Two halves that make an apple,
Two ropes tied in a knot.
Even old Plato said
We’re meant to be together
-
Two stars from the sky – falling,
Souls always bound by love.
Even old Plato may
Be wrong once in a while,
For even philosophers
Do sometimes make mistakes
But we are still so young,
So let’s believe old Plato
And somewhere deep inside
Let’s hope it’s not the case…
I’ll be doomed
I’ll be doomed for just watching you move
Along frail lines of lost unreal hope –
I’ll be doomed -
And unable to prove
Good intentions, so quickly evolved.
I’ll be doomed for just making you smile –
The sweet secret I bring rose from hell.
I’ll be doomed, but my friend, don’t you cry –
Until then I’ll make sure
All is well…
***
I can’t stop
I have not enough shame
Just to turn,
Turn away as I should –
I would go, bearing clear signs of blame
Then come back
To believe it’s for good
I can’t stop
I have not enough strength
Just to heal
All the wounds that I’ve caused –
I would go, bearing clear signs of blame
Then come back
As an angel…
G*d knows.
Late
You came late –
You come late every time.
I get old
With each minute that goes.
Though distractions seem easy to find –
There are no good distractions from love.
You came late –
You come late every time.
Tortured waiting has become my home.
Though distractions seem easy to find –
I can’t run from this pain that still grows
***
I hate how you play with my mind
Reforming, reshaping each thought
Still looking for two of a kind,
Forgetting this tale has no plot.
I hate how you torture my past
Still looking for futures beyond
In cruel tomorrows you last
Forgetting today hasn’t gone…
Lullaby for the abandoned
When you wish upon a star
Naïve – as if you were a child
Don’t hesitate – And from afar
You’ll still hear bells of hope that chime.
Each single night you put yourself
To bed and cry yourself to sleep
Whish silently upon a star
And hear the clouds
That with you weep.
Each tearful morning you wake up
And miss the warmth she gave to you
Pronounce your wishes -
Than look up.
Maybe the memories
Will come true…
***
Maybe one day I would wake up
Searching for no words to say -
And I'd make a wise decision
To lock all my fears away?
Maybe one day I'd discover
Things don't always turn out bad,
One does not decieve the other,
Goodwill's waiting close at hand?
Maybe someday in the future
All my dreams will come to life?
Please, oh Lord, and all the angels -
Please, let "someday"
Come tonight...
"A surplus of memory"
*
Darker than November nights
Falling softly on the snow -
Memories I cannot fight,
Memories that wouldn't go.
When I looked into your eyes
Happiness was all I saw -
Now the past - I cannot fight,
Now the past just wouldn't go.
As I very shyly reach
For a hand that's never there -
Memories - they stop my heart,
Memories - they wouldn't care...
* title borrowed from Yitzhak Cukierman's book
***
What have I done,
G*d Allmighty,
To carry such burdens through life?
Time is not kind to Survivors -
Why do you still force me to last?
And if I'm another year older,
And if I get heavier at heart?
Don't think I'll be wiser or stronger -
Years heal wounds
But they leave you
With scars...
***
Shall You Ever
Shall you ever be the one to run away
From a friend - ablaze with pain,
From a child - alone and frail
Shall you ever be the one to turn your head
When there's evil right in front,
When innocent blood is shed
Shall you ever find a place among the vain
Turn your back on souls - so needy,
And smile happily with no shame
Shall you ever...? Be prepared to pay the price!
For there's Heaven - right up there!
Where you only
See the skies...
***
I refuse to be called a remainder
Back from a world that never was.
I despise the cold noble museums
And perfectly locked iron doors.
For the sake of the One who I doubt
Ever took any interest in me -
Those perfectly locked iron doors
Put us all back in captivity!
You persuade me to stay and to trust
That your only goal is memory,
But if you want living remembrance
Open that door
And please -
Set me free.
Friends.
Maybe our roads are long apart,
Maybe there's nothing left to say -
Still - we are always close at heart
Though old and tired
Though far away.
Surely the tears that I've once dried
Left my unfailing fingertips -
Still - we are always close at heart
And you're the one I truly miss.
Forgive me that I ever ask
But I just cannot help my soul -
Will you be here when days are last
And I set off
To Fields of Gold?
***
*
And she was always warm
And soft.
Took me out of a cellar.
She told me not to worry
And
That we'd survive -
Together.
For a small moment I was scared
It might all be a dream
But than she prooved
Some people are
Just as good as they seem.
* Dedicated to all those, who saved children's lives during the cruel, dark times of the Shoah.
***
Forgive me, dear friend
You will not understand
This desert has no soul
And I feel like a sand grain -
Just one among the few
Who outlive the hot sun -
Just one, stripped of my pride
The same as every one.
Forgive me, dear friend
But you cannot persuade me
To stay where time has stopped
For I must be a raindrop -
And since the world goes on,
So strictly unchangable -
There is no room for rain
Amidst hot ancient sands...
"1943"
This is a story briefly told
By gunshots flying in the air
By ties of blood -
And ties of love
And times of deep
Insane despair.
This is a story briefly told
One you will never understand
Of bonds of true
Brotherly love
Unbroken in
Times of despair.
***
I don’t need your good advice
I am wasted
I am lost
I’ve forgotten how to make
Four small letters
Into “LOVE”
I don’t need your good advice
I refuse to play the part
I forgot to put together
Five small letters
Into “HEART”
I despise your good advice
No, you need not fight for me
I have now learned how to put
Four strong letters
Into “FREE”.
***
Oh yes, I do
Hold on to the Past,
He is my last
Forgotten lover
And in his caring
Flames I last
My heart - insane
My mind - still sober.
Oh yes, I will
Keep holding on
I will not sink
Into Today
I will remember
Where I've come from
So I can never
Lose my way...
Samael's
* visit
"Please, do not scream",
He gently said
And pressed his hand
Upon my lips -
And I could sence
The bliss of death
Close by my searching
Fingertips
"Please, do not scream,
It's not your time,
So many more still yearn to die...
I just stopped by
To spread my wings -
To rest before -
Again
- I'll fly...
* In Jewish lore, Samael is said to be the Angel of Death, the chief ruler of the Fifth Heaven and one of the seven regents of the world served by two million angels; he resides in the Seventh Heaven. Yalkut I, 110 of the Talmud speaks of Samael as Esau's guardian angel. In Sotah 10b, Samael is Edom's guardian angel, and in the Sayings of Rabbi Eliezer, he is charged with being the one who tempted Eve, then seduced and impregnated her with Cain.
To give
Ready to give,
To give more than I have -
A raindrop in
My hand is not enough!
To speak of love,
To wash away your pain -
It's not a drop
I'd give
But a whole cloud!
Ready to give,
To give more than I have -
One heartbeat seems
So clearly meaningless!
To speak of love,
And with love to be blessed -
A thousand hearts
Would beat within my chest!
Ready to give,
To give more than I have -
For you must know
I've never owned that much...
To speak of love,
I'd not give one caress -
I'd open whole
Eternities of touch.
***
I hear the sound
Of glowing constellations
Whenever your
Lips touch the lips of mine,
I wish away
All pointless hesitation,
I give in to
The pleasures - so divine!
A godess in
Your hands' devoted temple,
A flower with
Your kisses still abloom,
I look into
Your eyes and flirt with danger -
For it would kill me
To fall -
In love with you...
Ode to the windswept child
Proud windswept child
How shall I not
Look onto thee with fright?
- The Lord has spoken,
Loud and clear -
His will men cannot fight.
The Lord has spoken,
Yes - He said -
"As Sarah thou shall be -
The mother of six millions,
Those perished and decieved."
The Lord had mercy over me -
He sent His Angels forth,
Those strong-winged guardians
With their hard,
Never failing support.
Until the end comes
I shall fear
To speak about their names:
Of Hunger,
Pain,
Of Terror,
Grief,
And of their brother -
Shame.
Oh windswept child,
Thou need not say
What Lord has given thee -
The might of all Jerusalem,
The freedom of the sea...
And blissfully He lets you stand
Before my tearless eyes -
He gives you sheer naivety,
A will to be surprised.
So easily He lets you think
All power is now yours -
But lessons history shall teach
Will show that you were wrong...
To his Mother
Two women -
Two women who've lost Him,
Lost Him once and for all.
You - through the pain of childbearing,
I - through cruelties of love...
Two women -
Two women who've lost Him,
So close and yet so far apart -
So uncompromisingly different
With the very same pain in their hearts...
And even though I may not know You,
Before You I'd stand in deep awe -
You gave me true Hope, always precious -
You gave me the man that I love...
***
Are his fingers more knowing,
Do his eyes read your mind,
Does his dream lift you higher,
Tell me - what do you find?
Is his touch more adoring,
Does his thought deeper dwell,
Is he blissful as heaven -
While I’m ruthless as hell?
Does my warmth make you shake
With heartbreaking disgust,
Is it that you despise
My soul, long robbed of trust?
Does his love make you strong
While all mine gives is pain?
Is he always innocent?
Am I always to blame?
I have so much to say,
But my words fail to sound
I won’t beg you to stay –
Someday you’ll come around…
Ode to a lover
Watch your Queen die,
Oh lover,
Watch as she flows away,
Watch her wise vision blurring,
Memories fading to gray,
Watch her suffer in silence -
As blind destiny calls,
Watch death break, mercilessly,
Your un-eternal bond.
Watch as all that you hoped for
Goes forever astray,
As her lips lose their color,
While you naively pray -
For no angel can help you,
Now that her time has come -
Your Forever is over,
Now that hers -
Has begun…
To my enemies
It may well be that I am wrong
To watch time pass
Ahead of me
It may well be that I’m not strong -
Not as strong as
You thought I’d be
It may well be!
My sinful mind
Does not play long
With words like these
It may well be, I can’t deny -
For my denial
Builds your peace…
Autobiography
My life’s not easy to describe -
It’s like a secret history book,
A sum of many past evens
That one prefers to overlook -
Private uprisings, ghetto walls
Of airless thoughts in shrinking space
Private oppression and revolt -
Private riots against disgrace
Private rebellion, opposition -
And martial laws – by whom declared?
Awakenings, Round Table talks -
And endless freedom I demand
Outbursts of passion where there shall
Just bliss and tranquility be –
You yearn to know?
Well, there you are –
Open that book
And you’ll see
Me.
Togetherness
You know not a word of my language
I know not a letter of yours
We lay somewhere in a dark corner
Passing on –
Passing on warmth.
You know not my friends or my enemies
I know not your joy or your grief
We lay somewhere clearly forgotten
Passing on –
Passing on peace.
You know not how to cause me pain
I know not how to hurt your pride
We lay somewhere, and plan to go nowhere -
Keep passing on –
Passing on life.
We know not tomorrow’s direction
We know not the days that will last
We lay somewhere, and there’s nothing happening -
We lay somewhere where there is
Just us…
***
“You know not what true life is”
They tell me every day
While I wordlessly witness
Death, agony and pain.
“You know not what to look for”
They whisper in my ear
While I search, never resting
For ways to fight our fear
“You know not good from bad”
They effortlessly claim -
I fail to find an answer -
Thus I
Have lost
Their game…
The heart that swore fidelity
After I'm gone
You may not cry for me
You'll find the truth
Engraved upon my door:
"Here lived a heart
That swore fidelity
Through peaceful days
And through the nights of war"
Go on and feed
Your youthfull soul with pride,
With awe you wake
In all those lost and cold
After I'm gone
You'll come back just to find
This secret pledge
Written upon my door.
Though years have passed,
Though I have known them all -
Pale breasted loves
Aiming to steal your light
I let you sail,
And if such is your choice -
Than silent waiting
Becomes the choice of mine.
Impressum
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 03.01.2010
Alle Rechte vorbehalten