Some Words

 Okay so this is my try to translate one of my short stories into english. My english is actually quite good I think, forgive me my mistake sin time and words, I did my best but it's for sure not perfect.

I would be happy if you give me some advice and don't hold back with critic, I'd be happy for it.

Maybe I wil translate my other stories, too but I don't know yet.

Enjoy reading.

 

Corinne

 

 

I smoothed down ms new black dress which i bought extra for today. They say black is the color of sorrow. If you wanted to express my sorrow in a color, it would have to be the blackest black of all. It would have to be so black, that it would no longer be a color, just nothing, only black, endless and unforgettable sad. My bronze hair fell in gentle, shimmering curls onto my shoulders. My mirror image showed a beautiful girl, not very tall, more dainty, but beautiful. You could not see how sad she was, how broken she felt, how much she suffered. She smiled a bit. If you did not know it better, you could have thought that she was going to have a nice day. But if you now were inside of her, then you could feel her overwhelming sorrow, her incredible pain, her longing for a man who did no longer exist, a man she had loved more than it should be possible, the one who should have made her happy forever and her life perfect. A few tears ran down her cheeks. I did not bother to wipe them away. I turned away from the girl in the mirror. It was unbelievable how unaffected, almost happy she looked. How was she able to? In a few minutes the funeral would begin. I did not want to go there. I knew that the funeral would only make everything worse. A lot worse. But I would go. For the people who loved him I would go. I loved him more than all of them together ad still I did not want to see how they would say good-bye, how they would banish him underneath forever, how they would cry for him even tho they did not know how it really felt to loose someone you loved. I had lost more than just a part of myself. I had lost myself. I was not more than a beautiful empty shadow of myself. I did not want to hear how everyone would say that time heals all wounds. I could already feel their looks of pity, hear their soft words, their condolence. I knew this day would be the start of endless days full of pain and tears. The beginning of years seeming like decades. The beginning of an unbearable life. I did not want to begin it. I wanted to turn back the time to save him, to warn him, to prevent what happened, but it was too late. It had happened. I could not change it anymore. He was dead. For ever, ad infinitum. I took my violin out off the highboy. I wanted to play one last song for him. A very last song before I would banish my violin out off my now empty life. Without him hearing the tunes it was useless. Nothing in this world meant anything to me anymore. Everything I loved had been taken from me. I wished to follow him. Die as he did. To be with him, wherever that would be.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. My mother and his mother were standing in front of it. I nodded at them shortly and passed them. I could see that they cried. They would be crying all the time. Even tho they did not know that they were not even feeling a fraction of my feelings. They would understand me the least. That' s why I did not say anything. I passed them without a word and did not look at them for very long and left the house. The way to the chapel was not long. Nobody talked to me. I was happy about it. In the small open chapel I looked for the place from where I could see his grave the best. You could also see the little lake. There was no cloud in the sky. It was an almost mocking beautiful day. It should be raining, but all rain and darkness would not be able to describe my sorrow and pain. My tears had dried. If I would cry more, I would never be able to stop. More and more mourners entered the chapel. Everyone was dressed in black and held a respectful distance to me. I was quietly thankful. Only my mother ignored my resistance and hugged me. She wanted to comfort me but she didn't understand that she couldn't, never. I didn't hear her words. They were without any meaning to me. The words of the priest as well. No word in this world could ever comfort me or any hug or gesture. I did not say a word or respond a hug or gesture. I only sat there and waited. My violin was in it's box, which I held tight in my hand. I had told my mother what I would do with it and she had protested. I would do it anyways and she knew it, too. I doubted that she would stop me.

They carried him to his grave. His coffin was white, as innocent as his soul. It was simple and had almost no ornaments but it was impossible to describe his character any bit. His meekness, his love, his passion, his patience for everything and everyone. No words would ever be enough to describe him and a wooden box could never mirror his character. It was impossible and still the people around me believed in it. I did not believe anything. I did not believe in anything or anyone because I did not care about anything. And if the universe collapsed just right now, the world ended, I would be thankful for the end. Many more words followed as people tried to express their feelings but they all failed. Almost everyone was crying. I was the only one who was not crying. I stepped in front of his grave and played our song. It was not too long and not too short, I was not too fast and not too slow, it was not too happy and not too sad. It was just perfect and everyone except me cried. I played the song until its end. There was a little applause for me and then they buried him under a shower of flowers. Dirt and grass was thrown on him and he was lowered down deep so that no one would ever see him again. Slowly the guests spread over the place, even my mother finally left me. It was fine. I did not want to talk to anyone. I did not want to be alone either but the only one who's company I wanted had been taken from me, finally and for infinity. I slowly walked toward the little lake. For a long time I stared across its silent surface. Suddenly there was a light. At the other end of the lake. It was golden and beautiful. Someone stepped beside me. But I wasn't someone. But I wasn't someone. It was Leonard. My eyes widened an I stared at him. How was this possible? What was happening here? It was Leonard. My eyes widened an I stared at him. How was this possible? What was happening here? The light grew brighter and bigger. It was almost like a gate. A golden gate out off pure light. Leonard smiled at me. He smiled at me the way he had always smiled at me. Loving and warm. Tears began to stream down my face. Was this an illusion? I was sure it had to be one. But he still smiled at me. He was wearing his best suit and his hair was dressed nicely. He looked exactly the way we had put him in his coffin. But now he did not look pale and dead. He was very alive. He even seemed to glow as if the golden light filled him out. He took my had and I held on tight to it.

“Come with me.” He said softly. His voice was full off love. It was like dark velvet that clinged to me and wrapped me in. It numbed my pain finally. I smiled. I would go anywhere with him. He made a step forward.

“Corinne, I love you. Come with me.” He whispered and took another step. The ice melted and I believed him. How could he be an illusion. He was so real. I wanted nothing more than to be with him and so I followed him. We only had to take a few more steps to reach the light. He hugged me tightly and together we stepped in the light. I did not notice that I was drowning. I did not feel the cold and the wet of the water. I did not realize that I was inking further and further down. I did not care about the fact that I was unable to breathe. The only thing I saw was him, I only felt his arms that held me tight around my waist and his body that pressed against mine. I looked up in his unbelievable beautiful face and as he kissed me everything went black.

Words after

 Thank you for reading.

I know it was not much, but it's a short story :p

Please don't think I'm into suicide, I just like to decribe strong emotions such as love and sorrow.

I hope you don't think that Corinnes thoughts are right in any way, she is out off her mind because of her loss.

I hope you never feel like her and live a quite nice and happy life :)

Impressum

Texte: Josephine Chelsea Teach
Übersetzung: Josephine Chelsea Teach
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.12.2015

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