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                       Love Is No Fairy Tale

 

 

Chapter 1 New Beginnings

 

Nyctophobia, the fear of the dark. As I got older living with my mom I kinda noticed something odd about the way we lived. Lights. Not just any lights to be exact but night lights. They were in every room you could think of and of course in the hallways. And when I started to actually go over to friends houses they didn't have any night lights. But despite that being only two people, I asked my mom about it anyways. “Why do we have a bunch of night lights?” I asked. I didn't make much sense to me I mean you'd think it would be raising the cost for our electricity bill. She was doing dishes and didn't even look at me. “We stay in the light which keeps us safe” I waited for more words but they didn't come. Around that time she didn't look better, she wasn't getting better. Her skin was kind of this pale grayish color but I didn't mind. She died a weeks later when I was at school. I was told I would be staying with my Uncle which I didn't even know I had one. But the part of me leaving circled my brain, no more people saying “That poor woman I bet she couldn't take it when her husband left, such a terrible thing for her girl to see” or “It's better that she's gone! I know she killed her husband I'm surprised she wasn't put in a mental asylum!” And “That poor girl I pray she doesn't end up like that mother”

I never thought my mom was mental just sick. She had a cold and it didn't go away. I didn't stay with my Uncle for longer than three months. Let’s just say he was arrested, which he was. Not long after that, I was sent to live with my Aunt Doris. I was relieved and thought I was finally gonna be happy again...or so I thought. She lived in California, a beautiful warm place that I personally liked. Of course, things had to end after her husband had almost killed her and even took things out on me. Next, I moved to Oregon, followed by Montana, Nebraska, Texas and here I am on a plane to Maine. Of course, there were complications to the way I've lived all my life. Bullying is a natural thing, dating older men along with abuse but of course, it always seems wrong to me. Or at least when I'm around people at least. The ability to not know if something is wrong or right and to suddenly be in a box of fear isn't new. I don’t think the family things for me or maybe it's just guys. I have a different feeling about this one though, this time I'm staying with my grandmother. She use to come over for the summers. We’d go on walks, ride horses, go to the beach, bake, check out books, color. She was pretty much my entertainment. I'd rather hang out with her than my friends an any day...back when I had friends. When the plane landed a wave of relief hit me. I hate flying, no I hate turbulence. I walked off and awkwardly behind people and followed them seeing a belt thing with luggage going around slowly. I took three steps before I actually saw her. I smiled and speed walked to her “Your so tall!” she pulled me in for a hug. I winced as I felt my back pop, she was more strong than I expected. She was about the same height as me, 5’10 and fit. She had fair skin, wise blue eyes and a grey french braid. “I guess you get a lot of snow here” I say still hugging her. I didn't really know what to say so I just brought up the first thing I had noticed landing here. “When the suns out it's a gift” she pulls away with a smile “You'll get used to the cold I promise” I nod my head as she grabs my duffle bag before turning. Once outside I felt like I had just been breathed on by the abominable snowman. My body was now covered in goosebumps.  Walking across the parking lot wasn't any easier as I stepped over and walked around spots of ice. By the time I got to Saras truck I couldn't really feel my ears. The truck beeped and I climbed in without a bit of hesitation. It was already warmed up thanks to the heater. I heard the back door open a heard my bag land on the back seat. The back door shut and it was silent for a few seconds before Sara opened the drivers door and climbed in. Sara chuckled slightly “It's not always this cold..for newcomers a lot of the time it's bearable”

“Bearable” I say repeating the word. She smiled shaking her head and we were off. The town looked like a winter wonderland all covered in fresh snow. It was beautiful. You wonder how many times the schools actually have snow days here. The trees were so pretty covered in snow I just wanted to take a bunch of pictures. When we got close to the house my eyes widened in amazement the was a big homey like pond to the right and a punch of fencing to the left. I could see three horses with coats on standing with a barn off to the distance. The house was a soft blue two-story house. There was also another car parked in front with fresh untouched snow on top. I just wanted to jump and roll over it. “Is this your ice car?” I ask as she turned the truck off. She gave me a confused look “My what?”

“Oh you know, like a car you drive in certain whether or if your truck breaks down you have a plan B” she smiles. “Actually it's for you” my face dropped “Really?” I jumped out of the truck and almost face planted in the snow. I hate snow. I could hear my grandma laugh as she shut her door. I walked awkwardly to the car snow finding its way into my shoes and making me pick up my feet like a horse who's walking with shoes for the first time. The car looked brand new with leather interior inside. “Wow thank you!” I say. I felt weird saying it. She smiled “Now you'll have something to get to school with” I nod still feeling awkward like I should do something but I don't know what. “Come on, it's freezing out here” She walked up the front steps and I followed. The house was warm that I sighed, a lit fireplace crackling. I followed her moves wiping my shoes off and leaving them by the door. “Welcome to your new home!” she says with a skip. I smile. My grandma works at a retirement home so I know I’ll have the house a lot to myself. I'm pretty proud of myself that I remember that. I followed her upstairs and into a room. “This is your room, it’s been doing nothing but taking up storage..I’m glad I finally found a use for it” The room was big with white walls and high ceilings. It even had a screen T.V I sat on the bed with a light grey comforter and matching pillows. “Thanks its cozy” I say with a grin. She smiles “I'm sorry to leave you but I have a late shift tonight. I won't be back till 10” I nod my head crossing my legs. “In the meantime.. why don't you go explore the barn and meet the horses you can use my boots” I watched her leave and waited till her truck was gone. I sprung off the bed back downstairs and pulled her boots on. Grabbing a jacket off the hook I speed walked out the door and across the snow. Jazz came up to me right away her gray coat was growing out and she looked so much older. I stopped at the fence and hugged her. “Oh I missed you..” she made a snort as if agreeing. She nudged my shoulder sniffing my hair. Soon Bruce arrived with his thundering hooves and Luna right behind him like a loyal dog. Bruce stuck out his head and I kissed his nose scratching his cheek. Luna stuck her head through the fence and nipped at my leg. “Aw it's me Amanda” I crouched and scratched the ponies neck. I finally crawled over the fence and hopped onto Bruce. It felt weird being on a horse again and I didn't really notice how much I missed it. “Come on Bruce” I pointed towards the barn and he turned trotting towards it. The rest followed as I grabbed onto a fist full of Bruce mane and gave him a little kick. He was running now, with Luna and Jazz close behind. To feel the breeze on my face and to be on a horse again was so much fun. I rode around for about an hour and finally slid off hugging him. Bruce was so small the last time I saw him. He was this feisty little colt and now he was this beautiful enormous black horse with a long mane. I hugged all of them before crawling back over the fence. Jazz took off and they followed her keeping up but never ahead. I glanced at the darkening sky as specks of stars were coming out. I smiled knowing not everyone has a view of the stars like this.

 

After a warm shower, I made some popcorn then settled on the couch with a blanket. I watched T.V for a while and decided to look around. It's still snowing outside. I peered out the window the once beautiful snow covered trees now looked like something out of a horror movie. The first floor didn't have much but the second floor, I found a box with the label Pictures on it. I sat with it in the middle of the hall and opened it. There were a lot of older photos most in black and white but some in color. There were pictures of my family, my mom, even me. It was a picture of me sitting on Sara’s lap. I remember that day. I had a full-on meltdown when I heard she was leaving. She ended up staying three more days and promised I’d come to Maine one day. I decided to keep a few that I liked. I stuck the box back on the shelf in the closet and stuck the picture under my pillow. I stopped once I heard the blowing of the wind, it made the house creak. I glanced outside and could see the trees move side to side thanks to the light of the moon. My attention snapped to a shadow  before a howl filled the air. As more shadows appeared. I ran back downstairs snatching a jacket and ran outside. Turning the porch light off I watched, smiling as wolves ran out from the woods. I was nervous they would go for the horses but there were no horses that I could see. They scattered around the front yard yipping and whimpering as they ran around each other and rolled around. When I noticed one had spotted me I stopped breathing. It trotted up and put its nose between the rails of the railing. his fur was.. black? But his eyes were a nice brown.. so I guessed. My heartbeat quickened. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Can you pet a wolf? I stayed still as he lifted up his lips. He walked around and walked up the steps. I was right his coat was black..he looked so soft. He casually sniffed a few things on the porch and pawed at the front door. He looked over at me and stared for a few moments before slowly, but boldly walked up to me. He sniffed my face and rubbed his face against mine. “Your so soft.,” I whisper hugging the animal.  The wolf sniffed my jacket keeping his nose there for a minute before turning and running off. I huffed glancing at my foggy breath. I huffed again and watched as the black wolf took off and the rest followed him with yips as if laughing. I stood and walked . I couldn't wait to ask Sara what the story was with them. After a bowl of mac n cheese, I decided to go to bed which wasn't hard.

Sara had woken me up the next morning. I groaned hugging the pillow next to me. There was something about this bed that seemed so cozy. “If you want food get up so you have time to eat” I watched as she left the sound of her steps growing softer and softer. I stood walking to my window. It must have snowed cause the wolves footprints were gone. The forest and yard looked so pretty with the snow untouched and in daylight. I sighed and walked back across the room. I need something warm yet I don't want to look like a new tourist idiot. I tossed a black pair of leggings on my bed along with a white tank top a white sweater and a denim jacket. The scent of coffee found its way into my room. The smell didn't bother me but I hated how it tastes. I changed quickly and ran downstairs. My grandma was sitting at the counter watching the news with a coffee mug between her hands. I listened as I opened the fridge and pulled out the carton of orange juice. “A heavy rain tomorrow, what a shocker,” she says with a chuckle. I pour it into a cup and put the carton back. “I'm starting to hate weather or maybe just winter, but then again I've Only been here a day”. Sara smiled at me. “Ah don't worry I thank the lord for the warm days we do have”

“What's that?”

what a shocker. After I downed my cup of orange juice I ran upstairs, brushed my teeth, brushed my hair and put it in dutch braids. I slipped on a pair of tan hiking boots grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. “I'll see you later grandma!” I yell “Be safe dear!” I took one step outside and my feet slipped forward. I hung on the door handle pushing myself up so my butt didn't touch the ground. With a huff, I stood and slowly made my way to the car. As I settled in my car the new idea kept circling my brain. This is my car. My car. My new car. I smiled and turned the heat on pulling out. The school didn't take more than twenty minutes and in those twenty minutes, I've never been honked at so much in my life. As I stepped out of my car everyone seemed happy that it was snowing a few people were even having a snowball fight or making a snowman. I carefully made my way across the parking lot and into the building. “Amanda Carter?” I turned my head and a pack of girls walked up to me. Imitating yet annoying. A girl smiled so big it was obvious it was fake. “Hi, my names Stacy and I heard we had a new girl so I just had to meet you!”

“Well don't I feel...charmed”

She smiled looking me up and down. “We'd like you to meet some of our friends after you've collected your stuff. Were more than willing to show you around” most of the girls behind her frowned or looked at me with disgust. “Maybe I'll take you up on that...” I turned and left them heading into the office. I took a deep breath away from them. I turned to the office lady. She kept her attention on her computer and Just as I was gonna speak she glanced at me. “You must be Amanda Carter, welcome” she says flatly.  She moved four textbooks in front of me along with my schedule on top. “ Mrs. Piers, I expect you not to be late” I nodded my head turning. I didn't want my mouth to spit out the words it wanted to but damn what a bitch. I glanced at my sheet. Locker 154. I walked the halls to locker 154 and groaned as the group of girls were standing close to it with a few jocks like it was a flirting party. I casually walked to my locker and spun the dial like I've done it before. A girl must have signaled I was there because Stacey’s high voice went off. “Oh, Amanda! Jake, Ethan this is my new friend Amanda!” friends a little bit pushing it. I swallowed my words “Hey Id love to show you around if you want, it could be fun” Jake winked and I rolled my eyes slamming my locker. “I dont think so”

I heard a chuckle as I walked away just in time for the bell to ring. I checked my schedule again. Math with Mr. Ritter. I nodded to myself and walked to his class. When I walked in everyone was already in their seats. I walked up to the teacher and he glared at me. “The bell just rang you are late,” he says accusingly. I sigh I may be new but that doesn't mean a teacher or anyone gets to walk all over me. “Why don't you just tell me where I sit..” he crossed his arms glancing at the other kids. “I’ll sit you by Mr. Anderson!” he says with fake pride. I followed his glance which was on a boy.  He was slouched in his seat with his feet on top of the desk in front of him. He had fair skin black hair that reached his shoulders and covered the side of his face along with a black shirt beat up pants and beat up shoes that looked like a dog got a hold of them. I sighed and walked towards him sitting next to him. Mr. Ritter clapped his hands and began with the speech. I could feel eyes on me from the other students. He must of done something, a square of empty desk surrounded him except for the one I was currently in. I glanced at him and I could see part of his left eye between his hair which was a bright blue. “Why are you staring at me….” My mouth dropped as I looked away “Um..your eyes..do you wear contacts?” I felt stupid for asking. He waited a moment. “Why would I have contacts ...are my eyes weird?” he asked the question so casually. “N-no there really pr-cool” He blew his bangs out of his face. “Your eyes are cool too”

“Thanks” I say. The lesson went on yet I wanted to talk more. I liked his voice it sounded like he had an accent yet not. As the lesson passed Mr. Ritter left in a rush. Everyone smirked talking now it looked like he was sick. What a coincidence. “Has he been sick?” I asked glancing at him. He looked at me with no expression. “No” was his simple reply, I nodded. Turning my head again I bit my lip. “What's your name?” I ask “Why?” I shrugged my shoulders “You know my name”  

“That wasn't by choice” ouch. I glanced away. “Right” I turned my attention back at the kids who were talking about Mr. Ritter assuming whether he was throwing up or had a stomach ache. I didn't get what was so funny about it. I opened up my binder and grabbed a piece of blank paper. “Justin” I glance at the guy again. Justin...I like it. I was about to ask what changed his mind but I decided to keep my mouth shut. Mr. Ritter didn't come back till the bell rung. Everyone left and he didn't say a word he just sat in his chair and held his head. I glanced at him and walked out of the room to my next class. I had P.E next. As I walked in a girl with Red straight hair walked up to me. “Hi! Um,   Amber uh... I'm guessing you don't have P.E clothes. Were about the same size!... I might have a pair of shorts or something for you” she came over with such confidence but she looked unsure now. I smiled “Thanks” she smiled. As Mr. Blake took attendants Amber lead me to the girl's locker room. It turns out we were about the same size she had a teal shirt for me along with a pair of black shorts and orange running shoes. “They don't really go together but that's all I got” she says with that small voice. “Aw that's ok, I’m glad I got something” I smile. She smiled. We walked out of the locker room and I noticed Justin talking to another kid. The kid had the top of his hair dyed red in a bad boy look I’m guessing. “Hey what do you no about them?” I ask. Amber turned her head. “Oh! that Justin and Parker there pretty much rebels. Rumor says that they killed a kid but there's no proof.  I don't think they killed him.. Robbie. I think everyone's got it wrong” I glance at Justin. I'm glad Amber doesn't believe those rumors. This makes Justin all the more mysterious. Once I figured we were running I felt kinda happy. “You like running to? That's good I’m pretty fast, so see if you can keep up with me”

“You're on” I say. This is the first time I've seen an indoor track I guess the thought never occurred me. I glanced at Justin just as a whistle blew. “Come on Amanda!” Amber yells I take off after her. The best part of running is when your body and lungs can take it. I ran past Amber and you could tell she was having a tough time keeping up. “Your pretty good keep going show coach what you got!” I didn't hesitate I smiled and ran faster. I ran right past a group of boys and heard their groans as they cursed the sound of shoes slapping the ground. It helped that we were not outside. “Hey! Jake is it?” I ask running by Jake he raised an eyebrow “Yea what'd you have for breakfast? You're pretty fast”

“Yup and I'm going to beat you” I pushed myself faster and I could feel him gaining on me I ran faster till I passed the finish line and collapsed on the ground Jake catching me. “Wow you good?” he asks lightly setting me on the ground. “Hey...can you get me water” I say between breaths. He jogged over to a bench and ran back with a water bottle. I opened it and started gulping it down taking breaths again. “Hey Carter nice run,” says Nick sitting by me. “Thanks” I say returning the bottle to my lips. After I drank the whole thing Jake helped me and walked me over to the benches. He sighed and smirked “look who came to actually join class serial killer and his right-hand man” I turned and saw Justin and Parker walk up. “Don't be an ass” I say standing “Come on!” I ignored walking to the fountain to fill up the water bottle. I splashed water on my face and glanced up as Justin stood by me he was taller and bigger then I thought. “What?..” he asks his hands in his pockets. I smile “You're taller than I thought” I raise the bottle and start drinking again. “Is that a bad thing?” I shake my head “No. Being tall for a guy is good or, so I thought” I shrug my shoulders. “Amanda!” Amber ran up to me panting I handed her the water bottle and she pounded it breathing heavily. “You should..sign up….for track” she says between breaths. I shrug my shoulders. “Maybe I will”  I realized Justin was staring at me. “What..”

“Nothing..you should try it out” he says before walking away to join Parker on the benches. I took another sip of water from the fountain and sighed. “He definitely likes you” says Amber sitting. I sit next to her. “What do you mean we just met”

“Yea but it's not every day he actually talks to someone..it doesn't take a rocket geek to prove that he's curious about you” I shrug “That's fine with me honestly, I think he's beautiful” she smiles “Yea, I guess he is. I guess it's his eyes. I wish I had eyes like that” She says. I smile “ I wish I had your green eyes, they're so pretty” she smiles. After P.E and I was changed into my nice warm clothes I was happy. School went on just like that at lunch I had nicely declined Stacy and sat with Amber. The rest of the classes went by and the next thing I knew I was at my locker. “Will have to hang out soon” says Amber “Definitely I'm sure my grandma wouldn't mind if you came by soon” I grabbed my bag and walked with her out of the school. “I'll see you tomorrow she says walking to her car “Later!” I call. Once in my car I sighed, what a day. I was tired yet not much had even happened. Much of the snow had melted turning the grounds into a big slushie. Once I got to the house Saras truck wasn't parked in front. I shuffled my feet up the front steps the door was locked. I looked under the mat. Nothing. Damn. I looked in a flower pot and found a silver key. I smiled as the door opened I closed the door and dropped my bag hanging onto the strap.  kicking off my shoes I dragged my bag to the couch and turned the T.v on for noise tossing my jacket onto the couch. I walked to the kitchen and found a bag of chips and a coke. The fireplace was lit again, Yet the snow was melting I could actually see some grass poking out. I walked back to the couch crossing my legs and flipped through the channels.

It wasn't till about 4 when Sara got home. “Hey how was school?” she asks kicking off her shoes. “It was pretty fine... I made friends with one girl Amber... she seems pretty nice. “Oh, Amber Presley. I'm good friends with her grandparents.” I smiled. She disappeared and came back with a beer. “Anything else happen? Boys? Teachers?” I shrug “There’s these two guys that think they're so cool. But I only like one though so that would be three. There's rumors that he's killed someone..a boy. I'm surprised he hasn't left school but that just doesn't seem like him” she gave me a sad look “Justin Anderson. He's a troubled soul but a good one” she says “That boys had a rough childhood, I almost adopted him at one point. His parents did nothing but drugs, he shouldn't have been where he was so young, and to tell you the truth Amanda deep down I wouldn't be surprised if Justin killed Robbie. but you know what? I know he wouldn't have killed him just because. Whether he was protecting someone, whether it was an accident ..there's a story that no one knows but him” I sighed “He doesn't seem awful he is different though almost strange but he's beautiful” she smiled “He's beautiful all right, and so were his parents. Before they got worse. His past is a scary place I tell you.. don't worry though. Amanda dont go believing all those nasty rumors” she says taking a swig of her beer “I won't and I'm glad you said all that like you didn't get all upset or say to stay away” she shook her head. “I would stay away from him but I think it's time Justin open up a little. He's a good smart kid you just gotta be patient with him” I nod my head. “Kids are so mean to him calling him a serial killer” I shake my head it makes me mad. She pats my knee “Dont worry he doesn't take it to heart like average people” she says with a chuckle. I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear wondering. After dinner and dessert I decided to go for a walk. I don't know why I mean the forest scared me but I felt like I really needed to go somewhere. Sara gave me a worried look “Oh ok are you alright?” “I’m fine I just..I don't know I feel like I really need to walk” she sighed “I dont no Amanda the woods can be a dangerous place at night, there's other animals then just wolves” I grab a flashlight a finish tying my shoes. “I'll be fine I promise. I have my phone give me 10 minutes” I ran out the door before she could protest. I felt like a dog who hasn't been outside all day. I quickened my pace and made it pass my car without slipping. I made it into the forest and sighed my breath foggy. It was so quiet I heard a howl in the distant and continued walking. The cold nipped at my face but I didn't care. I moved the snow off a log and sat on it not caring if it made my butt cold. The snap of a twig made the feeling of wanting to be here run for the hills. I stood crouching now as I heard footsteps crunching. “Hello…..”  I pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and slid off the log. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I wish it wouldn't I couldn't hear. “Whos there?” I demand. I stayed still and gasped once I felt something fly by me, the wind cooling my face. “You're annoying! show me who you are..off! I was on my ass with snow in my hair. I was attacked by a snowball! I wasn't so scared anymore someone was just messing around but who? “Amber...” I whisper. Nothing. The wind was starting to pick up and I could hear trees starting to rustle. I groaned as another snowball hit me on the right side of my face. I'm annoyed now it's obviously not some animal walking around. I felt something dash pass me and I knew it was gone whatever it was. So strange my heartbeat was no longer in my ears. I smacked my flashlight and it flashed on. “Course it works..” I whisper rolling my eyes. I shined it around me. I walked to an object off that ground and snatched it. A silver bracelet. I shook my head looking around that doesn't make any sense. The bracelet was silver with blue diamonds built into it. I stuffed it in my pockets and headed home. When I got home Sara was just turning off the T.V “That was a short walk” I smile “it was fine” I ran upstairs. And shut my door. I tossed the bracelet on my bed and tossed my jacket aside. I froze glancing at my window. It was open. I speed walked across my room and glanced outside. Are these signs or did Sara just open my window? Why would she? it's freezing! I shut the window and crawled onto the bed. Spinning the bracelet around in my hands, it sure was pretty. I hooked it around my ankle and crawled under the covers. Under the blankets, I felt so warm and cozy yet the night still had me puzzled. I didn't want to but I fell asleep.

Chapter 2 What To Think

 

In the morning the events of last night kept replaying in my head. Was I not seeing something? Was I not seeing the obvious? I decided to check the forest over. I reached the log which the snow was melting off of. Maybe I should just leave it alone, what happened. I walked back to my car knowing I was going to be late if I stayed any longer. Once I reached the school the bell rung. I hurriedly walked across the parking lot avoiding clear spots of ice. When I walked into the building I felt like I deserved a gold star for not even almost slipping once. Everyone was quickly running to there classes as I speed walked to mine. I debated on stopping at my locker and decide to just do it. Of course, when I walked into class Mr. Ritter gave me a mean glare. I swear if I flirted with him he probably wouldn't be so damn grumpy. “Thank You for joining my class Mrs. Carter” I sighed walking to my seat. “Alright everyone I expect your homework complete I'm grading them today and then pull out your books” Homework? Shit, I totally forgot. I felt like banging my head against my desk. As everyone stood to turn in their homework Mr. Ritter walked up to me. “What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Carter? If you want I'd be honored to turn your homework in” I frowned. Wouldn't a teacher give a whole speech about how our homework isn't their responsibility? “No thanks, and it turns out I was caught up yesterday. I didn't have time to work on it, I'll have to turn it in tomorrow” he smiles “Such a shame it's due today huh” my mouth dropped “You could be actually fair and give me an extra day no wonder most people. are probably failing your class!”

“Cock sucker..” I Whipped my head around “What was that Mr. Anderson?!” a small smile played on Justin's lips. “Ahem sorry, what?” Mr. Ritter face turned red with anger as some kids tried to hold back smiles. “Mr. Anderson to the principal office!” he turned and looked dead straight at me. “Why don't you join him” I blinked Everyone stared at me except for Justin who was already at the door. I stood and left the classroom. “Some nerves he's got” I say practically doing lunges to keep up with him. He shrugged “He's always like that. He just assumes things, doesn't even give the time of day” he says with disgust. “I don't appreciate people like that” I say quickly he cracked a smile “Well I'm glad” we walked into the office and the lady looked up once then again staring at me. “Mr. Anderson go ahead into Mr. Martin's office” Justin Glanced at me and walked around the corner. “look, Mrs. Carter, I don't think it's good to be hanging out with Justin he's a bad influence if- look, I don't know who you think you are but how can you say that? Don't tell me not to hang around him just from rumors you've heard or some files you looked over ok? I'm not stupid enough to know that you haven't actually gotten to know him I'm mean you barely looked away from your damn computer before when I walked in here”

“Excuse me?! Amanda Carter, I will not-Go ahead and do something!” I walked off in the direction Justin had. I'm doing this all for Justin something good better come out of it. When I walked into the office the Principle smiled at me. “Mrs. Carter, nice for you to join us. Mr. Ritter tells me you two were talking back and a distraction to the class but I understand Mr. Ritter can be so,so..but before I do anything I want your take on it” So I told him everything and we were let go to walk to the second period. At lunch, I told Amber what happened. “Gosh, I thought I was having a bad day! Well not really me, Isabell. Stacy made her run out of biology this morning” I sip my coke. “And whos Isabell?”

“Oh! She's Robbie's sister. Younger sister” she adds taking a big bite of her pizza. You wonder what's going through her head. Isabell, not Amber. “Maybe we should invite her somewhere” says Amber her eyes full of hope like I was her mother. “Right..invite her to where?” Amber was quiet for a minute before popping back to life. “We could have a sleepover!” I blink fully awake. “We're going to your house then” I say with a frown. She frowns. “Why my house?” she whines. “Your idea your house I don't even know her” Amber pouted.“If we stay at your house I'll pay for the snacks”

Deal”

The plan was to get out of 7th period early and find her. Of course Amber being innocent as she is, I was the one to get out and it wasn't hard as everyone was up and talking. I walked out of Spanish on a mission making my way to art. I had art 4th period and I loved it. Not just that it was art but I liked the teacher Mr. O’malley and i loved him, even more, cause his last name to remind me of the movie ‘Aristocats’.  I waited outside the door as the bell rung. I watched people walk out and finally spotted her. She had everything of Ambers description. Black hair freckles head down. I speed walked over to her side. “Isabel right?” I Ask keeping up with her quick steps she stopped as if I just asked where she lived. “Yea…”

“OK so I was wondering, in fact, I wasn't my friend Amber came up with the idea that we invite you to my house for a sleepover. “That only if you're up for it.” she glared at me. “Look I don't need your help ok? What do you even care I've never even seen you before” I crossed my arms. “Look I'm not here to make it up to you knowing what you've been through cause I dont I'm new. Amber said we should invite and I thought alright. Either you can come and have some fun get your mind off things and maybe make new friends or you can keep walking with your head down” I guess I didn't mean to be that honest but looks like she could use it. She sighed looking around. “I-I don't know if I can…”

“Will wait for you to talk to your parents or whatever if you can't spend the night just say you're coming over to work on homework..will take it from there” she nodded walking on. I followed her to the office. Isabell was dialing as Amber showed up. “This is gonna be fun!” I sighed there should be a mute button on this child. After Isabell had left an awkward voicemail she walked with us to get our stuff out of our lockers. “So you guys have like..a car?”

“Yep will take hers” says Amber all smiles. I grabbed my bag and slammed my locker shut. “Let's go to the store will buy a bunch of shit”

“Nothing like gaining calories on purpose” I look at her. “Ok will buy you a container of strawberries” I say walking away. Once outside I sighed, it was snowing again. You could hear a few people complaining. “Amanda!” Nick ran up to me as I walked down the steps. “Hey” I say glancing at Amber who made a face and grabbed Isabell hand pulling her to my car. “So   guessing you're not free?” I smile. Glancing at the snow that stuck to his blondish hair.“It was Ambers great idea that we have a sleepover” he smiled glancing over at them. “With...Isabel?” my smile faded. “Yes. what's wrong with that?” he shrugged “Nothing. I just wanted to no if you wanted to go get a treat or something but seems like you have plans. So I'll see you tomorrow” I nodded and he smiled before walking away. I sighed and walked in the direction of my car wondering where things would have gone if I wasn't going to a sleepover. At a local store, we all grabbed a basket. All as in Me and Amber. Isabell Glanced around with her hands in her pockets. “Come on” I say handing her the basket. She grabbed it slowly and followed me as I made my way around. We grabbed what we wanted and went through the list of how much this would cost. “Ok, Chocolate bars, Rootbeer, Pepsi, Gummy worms, Cookie Dough ice cream, vanilla ice cream, m&ms, popcorn….” Amber snaps her head up to look at me. I shrug. “Just toss them a fifty” I say.  Amber nods pushing the cart towards the register. One everything's paid for we all take some bags and carry them in the car. “This is gonna be so fun!” Amber yells from the back seat. Me and Isabel share a weird glance as we shake our heads. “Hey, I got clothes for you guys to change into” I say turning onto our road.”I totally forgot about clothes...at least we bought a bunch of food. Hey is Sara ok with this?” I shrugged “She should be fine”

“Whos Sara?...” it was actually the first time Isabel had talked before we left school. I opened my mouth but Amber beat me. “Saras Amanda's Grandma. Don't worry she's totally cool!” I sigh turning into our gravel driveway. Once parked we grabbed our share of bags and walked into the house. Sara was watching T.V “Are we having a party?” asks Sara with an amused look. “Yup we're gonna get drunk off sugar!” says Amber. “This is Isabel, Isabel Grams” I say my fingers slowly dying. “ Nice to meet you, Isabel”

“You to” I speed walk to the kitchen finally and dump everything on the counter. We put the ice cream away and bring the candy and drinks upstairs telling Sara she can help her self to the ice cream on the way up. Amber shuts the door and looks around. “Wow nice room”

“Thanks” I set everything on the corner of my bed and gesture to my closet. “You guys can pick something out” I say kicking off my shoes. Amber wasted no time scanning the clothes while Isabell was looking at a painting of a ballerina. “Here I think these will fit you” Amber skips to giving her the option between three shirts a pair of shorts and a pair of sweatpants. She takes the pair of sweatpants and a red shirt with the word ‘Coca  Cola’ on it in white letters. “I'm gonna go get cups you guys can change where ever” I leave them and run downstairs. “What's the sudden change?” I stop as Sara keeps looking at the T.V “Isabel or me coming down here?”

“Isabel..you know she's been through a lot. It's nice that you invited her” I nod. I wanted to say that it wasn't exactly my idea but I walked in the kitchen instead. I grabbed three cups and went back upstairs. We spend pretty much the whole time eating our stuff and watching movies. Me and Isabell wanted to watch a scary movie but Amber hates them. Sara being the cool grandma she is, ordered us pizza and we shared our soda with her. When we got upstairs we sat on my bed with pillows cause Amber  ordered a “Meeting”

“Ok!” she says with a serious look. “I think we should go around and say something about ourselves it can be anything that the other person might find interesting I'll start” she takes a deep breath and clears her throat. “My full name is Amber moon Presley. I've lived here all my life. My dad left when I was 8 so it's just me and my mom. Oh! I love cats..dogs to and I like ice cream” she nods looking at Isabell. “Oh uh...names Isabel..obviously. I've moved a lot over my life. My dad left us and yea Robbie's my brother..” she looks down like she says something wrong and Amber quickly pats her shoulder. “Ok my name is Amanda Carter my mom died when I was eight I've moved 18 times I've lived in 5 states this being my 6th”  

“Wow so you've never had any time to...suttle down” says Isabelle. “No, not really. Sara's the only one I've always liked except for my mom”

“Wow having to say goodbye to all your friends”I glance at Amber. “Not really your my only real friend...I've made so far” I say that last part looking at Isabell. “Aw well I've gone to this school since kindergarten” says Amber stuffing chips in her face.  The night went like that. We talked, Watched more movies, Listen to music fighting over which ones were better and slowly you could see Isabell talking more and even smiling. I thought the time would never come when Amber fell asleep on a blanket on the floor. Isabell chose a horror movie as I got our snacks together and pillows. I put a pillow under Ambers' head and a blanket over her. “What about the first Insidious?”

I crawl on the bed and flop down by her. “Sure” I say sipping on my cup of root beer which sat on a nearby stool. We fished the second insidious before we finally went to bed.

I was dreaming. Only the stupid thing about it is it was a beeping noise. I opened my eyes and realized it was my alarm clock. Isabell groaned turning her arm flung and slapped me right in the face. I burst out laughing “Ow!”   Isabelle's eyes opened. “Did I hit you?” she asks smiling then she looked annoyed. “What's beeping?” she sat up and grabbed my Alarm turning it off. “You think your Grandma will let us stay here?” she asks looking at me. “Maybe a late start but I doubt she'd let us stay here” “Late start then” she slid off my bed and poked Amber with her foot I sat up and ran my hand through my hand then ripped it out. I slid off my bed as Amber was Whining pushing her face into her pillow. I grabbed my brush and yanked it through my hair. “We're leaving around 9 so get dressed!” yells Isabell ripping the pillow from Ambers grasp. “At least be ready then go back to sleep” I say running my fingers through my hair successfully. Amber sat up and her hair was a mess. I tossed her my brush with a smile as it hit her knee. “Ow” she mutters taking the brush with a sigh and pulling it through her hair. I took a shower first then Isabell then Amber who complained about having no hot water. Isabell chose a navy green tank top and a pair of black ripped skinny jeans. Amber was still staring at the closet with a towel wrapped around her. I wore a pair of black legging a gray crop top. “You've been staring at her closet for 5 minutes” says Isabell Pulling on her shoes. “ Shhh!” she flicked her hand shooting Isabell as if she was waiting for the clothes to speak. I rolled my eyes. “Amber you have 5 minutes before we leave you here alone” I say putting my hair in a  messy bun. “Ok, ok” she grabbed a dark green shirt that went well with her hair and pulled a pair of black leggings. Once she was changed and we were all ready we grabbed our stuff and walked to my car. Sara was still asleep. Isabell sat in the passenger seat and Isabel sat in the back again. We ended up going to an old coffee shop which smelled like coffee and bacon. “Food..” Isabell moaned as she glanced at all the pastries. I smile as we walk to a table Amber and Isabel sitting across from me. When a waitress came I ordered a cup of coffee Amber ordered an orange juice and Isabel ordered one too. A few guys were to the back of the cafe and looked like they were looking at us. “College guys?” I asked glancing at Amber. She shrugged her shoulders. “Yea you Know Nick His older brother is the one with dark brown hair” says Isabel sipping her root beer. I Nod. “I think he likes you he's staring at you” says Amber. I shrugged “I don't want a guy I just want food” the Waitress finally came back to take our orders. Me and Isabel ordered Biscuits and Gravy and Amber ordered Cinnamon rolls. When the food came and she went to the bathroom we both stole a bite of it laughing. “What if a teacher came in here?” asks Amber scooting closer. “Just say I'm going through a really hard time and you guys wanted to take me out” I say Amber kicked me and I inhaled a scream. “Don't look stupid a guy is coming over here” she whispers. “Fuck you!” I growl. She ignored me and pretended to get a text message. “Hey girls” I turned to see a guy with black hair and brown eyes #SexyJock. “Hey” we all say. I wondered if he came over for me but then he glanced at Isabell for a second too long.  “Why dont you pull up a chair” I say gesturing to the empty seat beside Isabell. he smiled at me doing just that. “I’m Ethan” he offers. “Amanda I say shaking his hand. “Isabel” she didn't look at him and he looked slightly hurt. “Amber” says Amber happily. This made him smile. “So shouldn't you guys be at school?” he asks raising an eyebrow. “We're making it a late start” says Amber. He smiles. “Don't you guys have school or at least some football practice to get to?” I asked glancing at his buddies who were glancing at us. “Honestly I don't even remember if we have school today” this caused us to laugh. “We were talking about Aidan” says Isabel. A vibe rolled off Ethan and I felt it hit my stomach. “Oh you know Aidan?” his voice sounded 5 notches less happy than it was. Was I the only one noticing this? Isabel nodded. “ I don't know him personally but I know he's Nicks older brother. Nicks in our grade and kinda has a thing for her” she says glancing at me. He looked at me to. “Isn't she cute” says Amber. I looked at her and kicked her under the table. “Ohm” she cleared her voice. “I have to go to the bathroom” says Amber jumping out of her seat. I pushed out of mine and speed walked after her. Glancing at Isabell as her eyes widened. We speed walked around the desk corner. “Aren't they cute? He totally likes her!” yells Amber “Shut up I was the first to even notice” I peeked around the corner with her as Ethan looked like he was talking. “I Wish guys looked at me like that” I rolled my eyes. “The right guy just hasn't seen you” I say. We waited about 5 more minutes then walked back to our table. Isabelle's cheeks were pink and Ethan looked like he was waiting for a response. “She says yes” I say he smiles as she snaps her head up. “Great Thomas's party tomorrow night you guys should come if I had one of your phone numbers I could give you the address” he turned his head and smiled at Isabel who looked helpless. Ethan gave her a pen and stuck out his arm. She thought for a moment and wrote it down.  “Great! Nice meeting you ladies and your bills on me” before I could object he was out of his seat and already walking back to his friends who were standing. We both smiled at Isabel. “He's cute...how red are my cheeks? And you guys left!” she whines. “We wanted him to talk to you personally how awkward would be him talking to you and us just starring” says Amber finishing her food. “Yes honestly Is, he LIKES you..did any of you even noticed his change of mood when you brought up Aidan” Amber shook her head chewing. “I didn't..” Says Isabel. I sigh “ I can't eat anymore let's go” they both nodded. In the car, it was quiet thanks to our big delicious breakfast. I didn't mind the silence and it didn't look like anyone else did. When we got to the school I parked and we crawled out. “It's 10:38” says Amber. I nod “When are you gonna get a phone?” Asks Is. I shrugged. “Soon though”. When we walked in we sighed as we walked into the office. Mrs. Piers raised her eyebrows at us. “Well don't we look terribly sick” she says. “We just need three late slips..” says Amber her voice dull. Mrs. Piers pulled the slips out and started writing. “I'll make sure to let Mr. Martin know this” we grabbed are slips and left without a word. “Why does she act like she's the worst cop ever” says Amber “I'll see you guys later?”

“Yea” we both say quickly. Isabel left and walked off to health. “It's nice to see her opening up” I say as we enter the gym. “I'll say I think we've done something right”. People were running around the track again. We got changed first and I felt stupid for forgetting clothes...Again. I borrowed Ambers close again and gave my slip to Mr. Blake as we walked out. “Thank you for joining us ladies,   I liked to see you after school” Does he mean class or actually school? I wanted to ask but just nodded following Amber onto the track. “Go get um” says Amber. I watched as Nick ran past me. I smiled at her and pushed forward. Stomping my feet and driving my arms I ran right beside him. “Hey where have you been?” he asks slowing into a jog. “We went out for breakfast” his face changed into something I couldn't pick up. “We as in..?”

“Me Amber and Isabel” he nodded. “So your friends with Isabel now” it wasn't a question. “Yea what about it?” he sighed walking now. I do the same. “I don't want you to think I'm judging hard or something it's your choice whether to hang out with her I think it's nice” my eyes brightened as I remembered this morning “Oh I saw you brother this morning and some of his pals. His friend Ethan totally has it for her and he paid for our bill” Nick cocked his head. “You know my brother?”

“ I know his name..thanks to Amber. He Invited us to Thomas's house tomorrow” I say glancing at him. He smiled. “His party..right..and are you going?” I nod “ So what should I expect? is there a pool?” Nick smiled. “Nah his house is on a private beach though. His parents are out for the weekend in Florida, they leave him for weeks at a time. As an only child I dont think that's right” I nodded. “Does he ever talk about it or show it on his face?” he sighs thinking. “You can just tell. We as in me my brother and our pals all know he doesn't like to be in the house alone so we invite him to go everywhere and stay with us. Not like its a sin either he's practically another brother to me” I smile “I'm an only child to”

“Huh, where'd you move from?”

“Texas. I've moved a lot ever since my mom died” he stared at me. “Amanda I'm sorry..” I smile. “No, its fine I dont mind talking about it I just...people suck. I've moved so many times to people I thought gave a crap. You know from Washington to California to Oregon to Montana to Nebraska to Texas and finally..here” he listened. “Wow..and what about now? Do you like it here..with Sara?” I smile at him and nod. “I have good memories of Sara I have some hope with her” he nods. “Well, I hope you dont go anywhere” I smile. We reached the starting line again and I walked to Amber who was sitting on a bench with a water bottle. She handed it to me and I drank. “Your buddy has been watching you” she says glancing to my right. I glanced at Justin who was leaning against a bench with his knees to his chest. “Hm” I took the water bottle and walked over to him sitting a foot away. I opened my mouth but he beat me to it “Where have you been?”

“Amber and Isabel spent the night at my house and then we got breakfast this morning together” he stared at me as if not believing me. “Did you get in trouble with Mr. Ritter? I'm sorry about the other day” he looked confused “What for?” I was quiet for a minute. “For not have done something when he sent you to the office” he shrugged. “It's fine Mr. Martin doesn't even do anything he just lets me watch T.V in his office” I smile with a little laugh. “That sounds fun” he nodded slowly. Silence took over and I broke it. “Do you know Thomas?”

“I dont know him personally but I got invited with Amber and Isabel to go” Justin's eyes seemed to take a darker blue color. “Who invited you?” I sigh

“I met a guy at breakfast who likes Isabelle” I say. He nodded slowly and it came to me that he was barely blinking. Not that it was creepy but I wondered how he managed to barely do it. “So are you going?” I ask slowly. He glared slightly. “Yes I'm going, half the school is going” he seemed angry so I didn't want to push it. He sat up and crisscrossed his legs. “Thomas lives on this big beach so it's basically a big barbecue and there's gonna be s'mores and obviously you can go swimming” I nodded with a smile. “Carter keep walking!” I groaned standing. “I'll see you later” He gave me a nod. When we got back out from the locker room I waited for the bell to ring before walking to Mr. Blake. “Amanda I wanted to talk to you about joining track” he says glancing at his clipboard. “Oh Right um, I'm not really interested in track I guess. I've already done track for two years and I'm kinda over it” he nodded with a chuckle. “Well that's a shame your pretty fast and I'd love to have you on my team. If you're... still interested in a sport there's basketball,  volleyball, soccer and cheerleading sign-ups in the office” “Thanks” I say “No problem” with that I left and went to class. On my way to the cafeteria, Amber appeared at my side. “Hey, are you interested in cheerleading?” I ask. Her eyes brightened and I felt like laughing, “OH MY GOD YES!” Isabell appeared on my right. “Whos dying?” she asks. Amber ran around wrapping her arms around Is. “Would you do cheer with us?! Say you will!” she begs. “Cheerleading?” asks Is looking at me. I can't help but laugh. “I dont know but it sounds kinda like a good idea I mean I can do a flip” I say with a shrug. “I can do a cartwheel!” yells Amber proudly. “Fine” we stopped at the office to get the forms and headed to lunch.

If I was to murder someone in the school I think it would be my Spanish teacher. She speaks in spanish 95% of the time and just yells at people. I had wished that me and Amber share this class but now I was happy we didn't..she didn't have to suffer. Besides english is more her thing. When school ended I met Is and Amber at Amber's locker. “I'll see you guys tomorrow K”

“We're going shopping for clothes for tomorrow your not coming?”

I sigh “I’m coming whos car are we taking?”

“Mine” says Amber pulling her bag out of her locker. “I dont have one” says Isabel raising her hand. I smile. We didn't make it out the door before I smelled the scent of No.19 and yes, I know what it smells like. “Oh look it's the new Trio! Amanda, I didn't know you'd hang with...them” says Stacy looking Amber and Isabell up and down. “There's a lot you dont know about me Stacy but I'm not interested in you knowing anything more” she sighed her “friends” behind her. “Honestly I could care less about you, what I do care about is you flirting with Nick!” this girl needs to get a life. “She's not flirting with Nick there just friends” Says Amber. Stacy glanced at Amber. “Thanks, Les... I didn't ask for your opinion” Ambers cheeks grew pink.So Ambers gay, why hadn't I noticed that before? “You know what Stacy? We’ll see you at the party tomorrow why dont you talk to Nick about it he invited us” Isabelle’s voice had a whole new meaning she grabbed Ambers hand and gave me a shove towards the door. “Jesus Is who knew you had dominance” I say running down the steps. Amber sniffed and I frowned. “Aw Amber we love you” I say joining the group hug. “She's so mean!” she cries. “She's just jealous” says Isabel. “No she's just a fucking snake spitting out her venom of people's personal business” I smile glancing at Is. I didn't even know if she could curse. “I barely know you guys but you guys are great!” she sobs and we hug her tighter. I drive Ambers car as she sits in the back with Isabel. I get directions from Is which lead us to a Target. In the store cold air hit us. “So what are we looking for?”  I ask looking at Amber. She had stopped crying but her eyes were still slightly red. “Think beach..you have a pretty big closet So you should get a new swimsuit. Isabelle, we need to find you something like your wearing yet not” we glance at Amber as she stomps forward like a mom with a mission on Christmas. We stop first to get swimsuits complaining how all the smaller ones are so cute. “ I think you should wear a black bikini but Blue might be your thing” Amber held the black bikini top and bottom against me switching to the dark blue and back to the black. “I think blue, it matches her eyes” says Isabel. “Done” says Amber tossing the blue one into the cart. “Red?” Amber asks me holding a red bikini top and bottom to Is. “Well she’ll certainly get Ethan's attention” I say “She reminds me of a sexy vampire what do you think?” Amber says looking at Is. she nods. “ ” she says. Amber tosses it in the cart. Next we help her decide on an orange or dark green which we choose dark green. When we finally go for outfits I ended up with a Black crop top and jean shorts. Amber instructed that I wear my hair in a ponytail. Isabell settled on a black tank and aware of black Jean shorts. Amber settled on a pair of jean shorts and a lavender crop top. Amber decided she would bring a pair of shoes for Is as we brought everything plus sodas. I sat in the back, Isabell in the passenger and Amber in the driver seat. They dropped me off first and I hugged them bye. “Thanks for the shop Am, I'll see you guys tomorrow. “Oh well I would call you but YOU DONT HAVE A PHONE!” I slam the door shut. I glanced back with a smile as they pulled out of the driveway. Having to search for the extra key told me that Sara wasn't home. She’d let me go to the party, wouldn’t she? She's cool that way. I closed the door and kicked off my shoes just to hear an engine. I glanced out the window to see Saras truck pull in. “Guess I'm on time..” I dropped my Bag by the basket of shoes and walked into the kitchen.  The door opened. The door shut. I grabbed a water bottle and a beer pushing the fridge shut with my foot. “Hey Sara I literally just got in the door when you pulled up” she gave me a suspicious look as she took the beer out of my hands. “I went shopping with Amber and Isabel...for the party...tomorrow night” I bounced on the balls of my feet as she twisted the cap of the beer.Ow. “What party? Where is it?” I Smile. This is the most concern this woman has given me not that that was a bad thing. “It's at a guy Thomas's house he lives on a beach. Anyway, a lot of people are going to be there” I say sitting with her on the couch. “Like?” I opened my water bottle. “Well Is and Amber are going with me. Nick will be there his brother Aidan and a bunch of his friends. Justin's going to. Justin said that half of the school would be there” she nods taking a swig of her beer. “Right so where were you this morning?” I sucked in my cheeks. How many times am I gonna have to explain where I was? I told her the whole thing of us going to breakfast and Ethan and blah blah. “Alright I dont want you skipping you know” I nod quickly and she smiled. “ I got you a gift” she stood and I felt guilty that I didn't have one. I'll paint her something tomorrow. She brought a bag back with her and gave it to me as she crossed her legs sitting up. I pulled the blue tissue paper out and smiled pulling out a 6+ phone, a case and a Nikon Coolpix a900 camera. Definitely getting her a present. “I love it” I say I threw myself at her and she hugged me. A hug that was tight and said I'm never letting you go. For dinner Sara made chicken. We sat on the sofa and watched the news if when I was younger the news just bored me but now it was actually kind of interesting. When I was done I went upstairs changed into sweats and a tank and joined Sara back downstairs. When I went to bed I crawled under the covers and camera and phone charge on my nightstand. I then groaned running back downstairs I grabbed the slip for cheerleading and handed it to Sara. “Can you sign this” she glanced at it and looked up. “I never expected this from you”

Neither did I but Mr. Blake brought it up. I thought it was funny and Amber and Is said they do it with me” she smiled shaking her head. “Go to bed I'll sign it” I hugged her and ran back  . I glanced at my window and it was snowing. Only if my camera was already charged. I sighed crawling under the covers I rolled onto my stomach and smiled as the nearby howls grew louder.

“Do you have a 4?”

“Go fish” Amber sighed as she drew a card from the stack. I stayed seated on the stool dipping my paintbrush in the water again. “Do you have a King?”

“Go fish”  Is drew a card from the stack rolling on her side to reach the stack and back on her stomach. I sighed signing my name at the bottom right corner with a smaller bristled brush. “Finished,” I say. They stood and walked over bending their backs backward. “Wow that's something!” says Amber. “Its perfect” says Is. It was a painting of my point of view of my first night when blue had climbed up the steps and his blue eyes staring at me. Everything was just as I remembered the door the house the flower pot the snow the woods the moon, the wolves to the right running that were running across the snow and of course Saras truck.  This was just the second one though. The first painting I painted of memory. It was me or anyone I guess looking at Sarah's house straight on her truck in view. The sky a light blue fresh snow and snowing of course on top. I wrote in a darker blue “Home Sweet Home” on the top of the canvas. Mr O’malley walked back into the room but we just call him Paris. “Let me have a look huh” he walked over and stood by me. “You know Amanda you should really look into an art school when you graduate exquisite work.” I smile Paris is my favorite teacher besides his name another reason is he never seems to have an agenda for his classes he just does what comes to mind. “Your grandma will love it, Amber dont touch your clothes with that” I glanced at Amber who had chalk like powder on her fingers. The bell rung and I rushed to but my supplies away. As Is picked up the cards. “You can let the painting dry and come back after school I'll keep them behind my desk so no one touches them. He walked away from his desk and to my painting grabbing it. “Thanks Paris” I say grabbing my bag “See ya 4th period”

“And I have to get something ready for it” he sighs “Have a good day girls”  I speed walked to first period as Amber and Isabel headed to their own. I speed walked into first period and the room wasn't even full yet. Woohoo. I put my bag by my feet and and tried to catch my breath pushing hair out of my face. “You have paint on your pants..” I jumped glancing at Justin next to me. “I didn't….notice you” I say searching for the right word. He just stared at me. I glanced at my hand which had black white and blue smudges on them. “Oh I was painting in Mr O’malley class just now. Saras gift. She got me a phone and a camera last night” he nodded “That's cool” he said it but he looked like he was really bored. I felt saved as the door slammed and Mr Ritter walked in. “Alright turn in your home work please” I sucked in my cheeks as people stood. Why doesn't he just stamp a big fat red F on my for head. On my way to second period I turned in my slip for cheer and sat by Amber and Is for second. “I've barely been here and I'm already tired..” says Amber. I nod. She's referring to how Mr Nox just talks..and talks…and…..talks. When lunch came I felt good and bad. Bad because 1. I was leaving my favorite class  but happy cause 1. Paris let me and Amber eat so we could go to Cheer practice and 2. We get to spend time with Isabell. As soon as we walked in the locker room I felt like I was walking into Macy's perfume department. We changed into our uniforms like we were told by Mrs Kemp and walked back out. The outfits were long sleeve shirts half white half a glittery blue (the school colors) and a white skirt. “These are pretty cute” says Amber. I shrugged pulling my hair into a tight ponytail. “Oh god look whos captain” I glanced at Isabell who had a irritated look on her face. Stacy sat behind the table along with a girl named Jessica. “You said you can do a flip right?” asks Is “yea” I say she nods “Save the best for last..no offense Amber”

“None taken.” Isabell steps up to the table ready to take on the heat. Stacy and Jessica laugh. “Are you kidding me?”

“Why dont you start up some song that you think is hip and let me do my thing” she says. Jessica rolled her eyes and pressed play on the stereo. Anaconda  by Nicki minaj played and Isabel head jerked in annoyance. Isabell danced to it and it surprised me. It made me think of river tale dance. I smiled as Stacy crossed her arms. “She's totally jealous” says Amber. I glanced at Mrs Kemp who scribbled something on her clipboard. The song ended and Is painted glancing at us. Despite it Amber clapped and I smiled. Next, Amber went on. “Damn Is who knew you had it in you” I say she brushed it off staring at Amber. “Amber better do good were a trio” she murmures. I nod and the music starts. I have to say Amber is good at shaking her hips at least. I watched Mrs Kemp studying her as she scribbled something. The song ended and it was quiet. “Well that was...interesting” says Jessica. I burst out in applause and Is whistled. Amber smiles shuffling her feet to us. “Your on wow them!” says Amber “like you guys haven't already..” I say walking forward. I stepped up and music started playing  how is anyone supposed to do cheer to this? I know Im doing something right because Stacy crosses her arms and sucks the inside of her cheeks. Hey Mickey comes on and I sigh finally something cheer like.. I think?. I turn,run and break out in front flips. Whats my high score? 12? I dont even remember. I do a twist at the end roll and land on my feet. The music's still playing but Mrs Kemp turns in off. That's when I finally notice Nick sitting on the table. Great . Mrs Kemp whispered to Stacy and Jessica and they seemed to be arguing. Mrs Kemps voice was a harsh whisper and she turned away from Stacy. Stacy's nostrils glared and her eyes narrowed at me. She looked like she was about to scream. I walked back to Isabell and Amber as Mrs Kemp stood in front of us. “Good job girls. Isabel as long as I've known you I never saw it in you. Amber remember this isn't your bedroom when you have the house to to yourself but I know you will ace the upcoming routines” her eyes stopped on me and she loses her smile. “What's your name again?”

“Amanda” I say, she nods. “Amanda I would like to offer the position of cheer captain” she says and smiles. My eyes widen as Amber shrieks. I glance at Stacy who has a look as to say dont.you.dare. “I'd love to” I say Amber screams and hugs me and so does Is. I hug them back. “This isn't fair! She gets cheer captain from ONE try out!” Mrs Kemp ignored Stacy. “Nick I Want my pen back” she says walking past him. “Yes ma'am” he calls hopping off the table.  Stacy grabs his sleeve. “Baby let's go, she's such a bitch!” Nick pulled away. “Dont talk about her like that” he glared at her and made his way to us. “Congrats ladies and of course to you the team could use it” he says glancing at me. I smile. In the locker room the girls cheered. By the end of the day I really debated on skipping spanish. I stood outside the door and whined at myself. As the bell rung I turned and decided to walk to Pairs classroom. He had a class of course but I dont care. I walked in and let the 20 pair of eyes watch me as I walked over. Pairs was busy staring at an empty canvas to notice me climb onto his desk. “Why dont you paint yourself thinking of what to paint” He turned as if  finally noticing me. “What? And why aren't you in class”

“You never no what to do right? You never have an agenda you just let it come to mind. Same thing when you try to try and paint so paint yourself trying to paint or paint something you like, like an animal. And I have spanish but I dont wanna go” he cracks a smile. “I'll draw a snowy landscape...yea” he dipped the brush in white and started painting. The bell rung and everyone left glancing at me. I wanted to yell Were not together but that would be awkward. I turned my feet on the other side of the desk and grabbed one of my paintings. “Need help?” he asks glancing at me. I smile “Nah I'll send Amber over, thanks though” I let myself out and walked down the hall, Isabel found me first. We went to my house to get ready and hung around till it hit 5 o'clock. I managed to follow Isabells instructions and I didn't even get honked at once! We all gasped. The street was pretty much packed. Cars filled the driveway and a few on the lawn. Music blared that I’d  never heard before but I liked it. We walked across the lawn and into the house where a wagging black lab met us. “Puppy!” Amber practically dove for the dog. Isabell stepped over her and I followed. “Most of these girls look so down to get laid already” Isabel says in disgust. I smirk. Ethan jumped out of nowhere right in front of Is who yelped. “Did I scare you?” he asks two inches away from her face. Her face was turning pink. “Have fun Is, nice seeing you Ethan” I say walking “You to Am” I kept walking and followed the music outside. The water looked so sparkly it was beautiful the beach was almost already covered in bodies as people were swimming making sand castles sitting at the fire or playing fetch with dogs. “Hey” I turned and saw Nick. he wore a black shirt and grey shorts. “Hey, looks like Thomas is gonna need a bigger house” I say sitting on a log. “Nah bigger the house bigger the mess. Your friends abandon you?”

I smile “No Amber is busy petting the black lab and Isabel is getting hit on by Ethan” he laughs. “Ethan wouldn't stop talking about her. Drink?” I finally noticed he was holding two beers. I grabbed one and twisted the cap off. “Cheers to new friends and new possibilities”

“Cheers”  I took a long sip wondering exactly what he meant by new possibilities. We stayed on the log facing each other talking about random things. I liked that he wasn’t hard to talk to. We were laughing when a piercing noise went through the air followed by everyone groaning. “Sorry ladies and gentlemen” ran the speakers “Welcome newcomers or whoever you are to my home! Towels are in side so is the bathroom there are 4 bedrooms each one has a lock and..things” they were a few laughters. “Other then that enjoy the party!” the music was cranked up louder followed by woohoos. “He seems charming!” I yell over the music. Nick laughed. “Come on” he grabs my hand and pulls me up leading me down the beach. “So how long have you lived her ?” I asked once I could hear myself think. He sighed “Sense I was born, small town everyone knows everyone you know. Hey I'm sorry about Stacy..she's complicated”

I nod not getting over the fact that he was still holding my hand. “You've been everywhere right? What’s it like living in Texas and living here? quite the temperature change Im guessing” I smile “Texas is ..warm,dry..here.. I dont no what do expect. I mean you can actually see the sun today and the snows melting. I wish Sara could have given me this camera earlier, I would have gotten great shots of the woods with the snow” he watched me. “Dont worry the sun's not gonna be there for long, it'll start snowing before you no it” I nod feeling a shiver. “Hey can you swim?” I ask dropping my stuff. He smiles “I thought you'd be scared of the water?”

“Should I feel offended?” I ask pulling off my shirt. “Uh..You can....” I can't help but laugh as I kick off my shorts pushing them to my pile. I walk to the water and I know he's following. The water made my toes numb instantly. I was shocked when Nick just jumped in. I let myself adjust to the water and pushed off the ground. The Salt water didn't sting my eyes as much as I remembered. I felt something touch my legs and Nick appeared in front of me. I felt my teeth chatter. “Your not cold?” I ask. He smiled a toothy grin “No, come on let's get out before you freeze” I didn't argue as I followed after him. My legs were so numb as I crawled out my teeth chattered more. Well that was a dumb swim, it barely lasted. Nick tossed me my towel and I wrapped it around me drying my hair. Nick sat on the sandy ground and gestured for me to come. I walked over and awkwardly sat on his lap he wrapped his arms around me and  I sighed. He was so warm like fire warm. “Nick, are you ok?”

“Why wouldn't I be?”

“You feel like you have a severe fever” I dont know why but this made him laugh. His voice echoed in his chest and canceled out the rhythm of his heart. “Im serious” I say looking up I realized his face was only an inch from mine. “Your cute when your serious…” I looked down from his eyes and at his soft looking lips. Before I could he kissed me. And even though I wanted to push him away I just couldn't, his lips were so warm he was warm. It was like sitting in the pile of clothes your mom just pulled out of the dryer. So I guess this is another thing to add on the list. The list of things I never expected. I never expected my third day here to be making out with a guy on a beach.

Chapter 3  Lost In a Bowl Full Of Feelings

 

Two weeks went by. I felt like this was finally the right move moving wise. I liked who I lived with..no loved. Sara is Amazing and understanding Amber is my best friend and so is Isabel. Nick...I dont know. He's been gone since the party. And Justin.. I've seen glimpses of him around school but that's it. he doesn't even come to first period anymore. Or any of the classes we have together. I can't help think that obviously I did something wrong. Sara yelled my name and I almost had a heart attack I ran down the  stairs almost slipping on the mat. I expected to see her on the ground but she was sitting on the couch staring at the Tv.

“Hunters have said that the tracks are definitely Wolf prints! Animal biologist Clair Green can't see why any wolf would bother coming this close to humans but they have. A usual hunter to the area Rick Van found a bracelet in the water. Robbie flons a boy who was been missing for other three months parents, have confirmed that it was his. And though this clue may and may have not been that exciting to make matters worse, Jake Simpson has been missing since last Tuesday and today was pronounced dead. He was found dead this morning by a women who was playing an innocent game of catch with her dog along with his frisbee.  Will be right back with tonight news on Willowdale news”

I stood there. Sara sat there. “There wrong” She says quietly. “How do you know that?” she ignored me staring at the T.V she finally stood and walked to the kitchen I watched as she picked up the phone, dialed a number and held it to her ear. She leaned against the counter and listened as if the person already knew what she was gonna say or that it was her. “There gonna get everyone panicked for nothing this town is too small for fear” Silence again.

Saras voice was muffled to where I couldn't understand her. ”Does this mean Justin is off the hook?” I ask/ yell. “Cant promise you that but it’ll definitely give him a break” she yells. I felt my phone vibrate against my leg and checked it.

 

Amber: Talking to Isabel her parents want a hunt and so does she! 5:34pm

 

“Sara! I yell “What is it?” she calls holding the phone to her shoulder. “Amber texted me she said that Isabell and her parents want a hunt” Sara looked worried. “When?”

“I dont know”

 

Me: When? 5:35pm

 

Amber: Tomorrow morning?

School will be canceled so people can help. Everyone's meeting by Blackwell forest. 5:35pm

 

Me: Talk her out of it! Wild animals shouldn't be killed just from one missing kid there's no real proof that he was taken by them! 5:36pm

 

Amber: She's not texting back! Can we go in the woods and help rescue them? 5:36pm

 

Me: Yes 5:36pm

 

Amber: Yay! 5:36pm

 

I show Sara the text. “This is awful I'll call sheriff Murphy, we are LEAVING this house at 6 tomorrow morning”

I smiled. Gotta love her.

Dressed in a blue hoodie, black legging and a pair of tennis shoes I stood next to Amber and Sara as another truck showed up. Men in camo and orange vests were everywhere along with barking dogs on leashes. “There hear” says Amber. I glanced at Sara first as she studied the silver car coming our way. A women, a man and Isabel got out. “Until further notice young lady she is not allowed in my house” my eyes widened as I watched Sara walk away. “Hey” says Isabell reaching us. “What are you doing?” I snap. “What do you mean what am I doing?”

“I mean did you seriously go along with this hunt? You dont have real proof that wolves took your brother no one does?”  she glared at me Amber looked like a puppy glancing back and forth. “My brother has been missing for three months! A hunter just found the proof!  A wolf print 6 feet from my brothers summer camp bracelet!”

“So your great plan to get your brother back is to have a bunch of people shoot wolves? What then? What do you get from that?” I ask my voice rising. “Reassurance! Ok! So people can go out in the woods and not be scared,Im worried!”

“Your desperate!” I growl. Her nostrils flared, she turned and stomped off to her parents.

“She's confused…” Amber murmurs. “God damn right she's confused!  wolves are gonna be shot because of her and her parents unless we do something” I say bouncing on the heels of my shoes.

“LET UM GO!” we turned as dogs ran past us. “Come on!” I grab Amber hand and pull her. “What are we gonna do?! Dogs have scents we dont were not even going in the same direction!” I sigh as I jump over a log. “You want to go back Amber you can” she stopped walking. “Can I?” I feel like I should be irritated at her but I smile. “Yes you can I'll meet you back at the car soon” letting her go is so much easier. I could run now. I could hear the dogs barking and there barks were growing distant. I kept running. I kept running till I hit the small creek which looked like the one on T.V. Robbies bracelet. I tried to catch my breath. I kept running. Not really sure where I was going, why I was running or what I was looking for but I ran. I groaned baring the cold wind which stabbed my lungs as I inhaled and ran across the creek, icy water soaking into my shoes. I ran for the hill and slipped rolling head first down. I landed with a thud and coughed. I sat up  and grabbed my left foot. “Shit!” I held my breath as I started to hear barking again. I heard a snap and I turned my head. Blue stood there watching me. “Blue you have to run” I rolled on my knees and kept off my foot standing. Blue walked forward then around me. He lowered his head crawling through my legs, he stood and I was suddenly 4 feet off the ground. He turned and started running in the opposite direction of the barking. I'll tell you riding a wolf is not like riding a horse, no reins no saddle horn no stirrups. I grabbed his coat and I hope that didn't hurt. I heard yips and whines. Looking to my right a grey wolf zipped around the trees followed by two brown ones. I kept low and tried to count without turning around scared Id fall. Two on my right Four on my left that I could see. They ran. We ran. Farther and farther into the trees till a gunshot sounded. They skid to a stop and I clutched to blue. A brown wolf ran away from us to where it sounded sounded. The others whined. Silence filled the air and I felt like everything just stopped. Blue turned around and walked casually up a small hill followed by the other wolves. On a snowy clearing. Blue laid down and I kept my legs out I thought it was my signal to get off but the rest of the wolves laid down to. I scratched Blues head and he shut his eyes. We stayed there for what seemed like forever. I felt paranoid, tired, stressed, cold. Where had thought light brown wolf gone to and who got shot? Did a hunter miss? Did he mistake a human for one? More minutes passed and finally a howl sounded. Blue stood, turned and ran to the howl the pack following. He ran right back to where everyone had been standing, all that was left were just empty trucks. The brown wolf stood by Sara along with a dark grey wolf. “Looks like you found them” says Sara with a smile. I smile I slipped off blue and kissed his cheek. “What'd you do?” asked Amber running for me. “I twisted my ankle it might be sprained I'm unsure” the dark grey wolf approached me and sniffed my jaw before licking it. I hugged it and felt warmth. After we dropped off Amber I spoke. “The wolves are too friendly to have killed Robbie” she smiles. “There not to nice to have killed him Amanda. If he had shot one of them then they would have killed him but I'm certain they didn't”

“So you think it's murder? Or an Accident?”

She sighed. “Will see honey”

That night the pack roamed around as I sat against blue and a blanket over me. “Packs can range from 12 to 20 so your pack seems reasonable” I say out loud. Blue stared at my phone as if reading it. The gray wolf walked up the steps and pushed its head against mine gently. I scratched the side of its head as I scrolled through my phone. “You wonder what really happened to Robbie..” I leaned into the grey wolf as it was like another blanket. “What do I call you? Um.. Stormie” I say with a smile. The gray wolf ears flattened and he growled licking his lips. “Uh Cloudy, Grey, Greg, I feel like I should just call you Shadow..Blues Shadow” I heard the thump of Blues tail and Shadow looked like he rolled his eyes I kissed his nose. “Selfie!” I grab Shadows face a snap a picture with all three of us in frame. Blue looked like a pure alpha protector and shadow had the tip of his tongue out while I smiled. “That's a keeper”

At school I had one mission. Find Justin. I know we barely know each other but I can’t deal with our “Relationship” like this. I want to know what I did and be friends again. If we were even friends. He wasn't in first period and I sighed. I asked Mr Ritter if I could use the bathroom and he stared at me for a minute. Told me how I had five minutes to go blah blah blah. I left finally and shuffled my feet down the hall. If I was Justin where would I hide? Not the bathrooms. I sighed walking to a closet I opened the door and there he was. Wow talk about a feeling. He stared at me with headphones on. I pointed to my ear signaling to take them off. He did. “Why are you dodging me?” he sat quietly. “Why dont you go to your boyfriend” he mutters. I close the door and sit in front of him. “I'm single thank you very much and if your talking about Nick I haven't seen him since the party. Now even if I did have a boyfriend I dont see why we can't still be friends”

“Were not friends” he states

Ouch. “Well you talk to me dont you? That has to  count for something”

He glared at me. “I dont care”  

I scoot closer sitting next to him. “Let me see” I grabbed his phone. “Snakes? You're awful” I pressed on the search bar and typed in Blue Skulls latest song. I let him listen to it and he looked at me. “You listen to this?”

“I listen to anything but if I had to right down my favorite band I would write them”

“It's good..” he pulls off the headphones and hands them to me.

Even though I never really got an answer from him I stayed with him, listening to music till the bell to ring. All I need is a speech from Mr Ritter maybe I should just flirt with him? I sucked in my cheeks and walked to his class.

I stood with Amber as we all waited for Mr Blake to come when Mrs Piers voice echoed in the gym “Mr Blakes third period class please report to Mrs Ports room, again Mr Blakes third period class please report to Mrs Ports room now” some of us whooped. “Whos that?” I ask following the class. “She teaches history” says Amber following. I sigh. Mrs Ports room had a book smell to it. Mr Blake was seated at the desk on his computer. I sat by Amber in the front and opened my binder pulling out a blank sheet of paper. “I tried texting Isabel..she's mad that I didn't stand up for her” I glance at Amber who looked like a sad puppy. “She needs to stick up for herself”  I say she sighed and put her head on her binder. “Alright guys I'm obviously subbing so I'm giving you this period as a study period other than that you guys can talk about the hunt yesterday” the room was immediately filled with voices. “I saw them shoot the white wolf”

“I swear I saw the brown wolf”

“Jake shut up we've heard it before”

So a wolf had been shot. Had the brown and white wolf been a mated pair? It was something I’d read that night. I hope she or he is ok. “You think they'll have another hunt?” I snapped back to reality and realized I was staring right at Mr Blake he winked at me and I realized I've been biting my lip. I held my head and hid behind my binder. “Are you listening?” asks Amber looking at me. “Mr Blake just winked at me!” I yell/whisper low enough for him not to hear. She shrugged her shoulders “So? he does that it's a hi gesture”

“I was staring at him and biting my lip!” her eyes widened “Well it's not a terrible thing I mean he is kinda cute”

“Your not helping!” I covered my face with my hands. Amber giggled. The bell rang and I was the first one out of my seat. “Amanda could you come here please” I sucked in my cheeks giving Amber a help me look. She smiled “Not like he’ll kill you. That's probably why he wants you to do track do he can see you in some booty shorts” I kicked at her and she jumped skipping out of the room. I groaned and turned walking to his desk. “ I took your advice on cheer” I say starting the conversation so I wouldn't feel more awkward. He raised his eyebrows. “ I know. I was talking to Mrs Kemp she said you took her offer to be cheer captain. Dont think that went well with Stacy”

“She had a temper tantrum! She's so spoiled with her prada bag. Sometimes I expect the head of a chihuahua to peek out” he chuckled. “Right. Um Amanda Im staying after school today. I know this might seem awkward coming from a teacher but I'd I wondered if you would keep me company” Totally not awkward coming from a teacher you sick perv but your also like hot! I cleared my voice “Sure” the word slipped out and I felt totally bad for saying it. He smiled a friendly teacher smile. “Great. I'll see you after school” I nodded I turned and walked out of the room. What so I actually do it or I skip? What if he gives me like an F? Is he hinting to something I'm not getting? Isn’t it like inappropriate to ask your your students to stay with you after school for “company” and even if it was why me? I don't know him. I sighed and walked into Paris class who was standing in front of an empty canvas. I wondered if I should talk to Paris but I felt like I needed Sara. the whole day was off. Amber of course freaked hopping up and down but finally gave me her actually doubts. I hadn't seen Isabell for the whole day and I felt like I should apologize. By the end of the day Amber wished me luck and I really wished she didn't. “Call me when you get home!” she yells running. I grabbed my bag out of my locker and walked to Mrs Ports room. Mr Blake wasn't in the room. I dropped my bag on the tablet that I was at this morning and sat on it. I swung my legs and checked my phone. 2:34 PM no messages. I sighed and felt like I was going to have a heart attack as the door opened. “Hey, I was wondering have you seen Nick?”  he asks. I shrugged “I haven't seen him since the beach party...Why?”

“I dont know you guys look like friends” he leaned against his desk tossing his keys next to his cup. “I can't get a hold of him or his Uncle”

“Uncle?” I ask. “Yea his parents died when he was little..car crash” he tilted his head as I crossed my legs. “I didn't know” he walked up to me and I leaned back. “What are you doing?” he shrugged “I can't stand next to you?”

“You can but your creeping me out” He grabbed my hand and I didn't pull back. “Well Amanda you're the one that's come to my room”

“It's not your room and you invited me” I say with a glare. He smiled “I admit I'm attracted to you but would you believe me if I said I've never met a girl like you?”

“No” I say ripping my hand away from his. He sighed. “You stir up feelings”

“Your insane”

“Try obsessed” he grabbed my chin and kissed me hard but then soft. I turn my head but he just kisses my neck. “There are 200 more girls in this school choose Stacy” he looks at me. “Stacy...no thanks besides I like my job here”

“I dont think youll have it long” he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and kissed me again. “What are you gonna say? Sexual assault? Funny how your not stopping me”

“Well now I am” I turned and pushed myself off the table when he grabbed my hair pulling me back.”Ah! let go of me!” he pushed me against the table. “I'm not hurting you ok? Just behave for me” I looked away from him. Here I fucking am again looking away from a man that looks me up and down trying to control me. “Get undressed” he whispers. I look at him “I have to go I forgot to call Sara” he frowned at me. “I want your shirt and your pants off before I take them off myself” I took my shirt off slowly weighing my options. Not like I can fight him he's much bigger then I am and it won't end well this has to be a camera in here though. “Hurry up” I roll my eyes as I kick my pants off. I fully regret wearing blue lace matching bra and underwear. I stood awkwardly as he eye raped me. “Look I'm not looking to sleep with ANY one” I growl. “Who said anything about that” he pulled me two him and ran his hands down my back. “On your knees..” my eyes widened  I grabbed his face and kissed him. I'll do anything except that I can't go through with it I can deal with the touching and the kissing but I'll kill myself before I do anything else. He lifted me up and I warpped my legs around his waist. He slammed me against the wall and I winced letting out a groan. “Try and be quiet” he smirks. He went for my underwear and I kicked his knee. “Dont! You better fucking behave or I'll bring Amber in here next you and I both no she's not as strong as you are” I shook my head. Of course I wouldnt for Amber but its not fair! He’s bluffing. “You wouldn't touch her! She's not as weak as you make her out to be” he slid his hand down my underwear and squeezed my ass “Maybe not but who says you're not, you know weak” I looked away. I hated him I, I hated myself and I hated everyone. I told myself so many times all I have to say is no. that's what every fucking person saying yet here I am again in front of a man being threatened again. I head butted him and he dropped me. I hit the floor and went to sit up, to run but he kicked me in the stomach. I clutched my stomach crying. I was good at holding in my tears but this time I couldn't help it. “Get up!” I heard the rattle of a belt then the sound of a zipper. as he shoved me on to my stomach he pulled down my underwear pushing my face into the floor he shoved himself in me and again I wanted to die.

As I walked to my car I cried. I didn't sob. But I cried. My hips were sore my knees were numb and I was cold. I had random texts from Amber and two missed calls from Sara. As I drove. I didn't want to go home. I didn't want to go anywhere I just wanted to lay in a hole and sleep. Once I got to Saras her truck wasn't even in the driveway. After a shower, Under the covers with a bowl of icecream I looked at Ambers text.

 

Amber:  So how's it going? 2:55pm

 

Amber: Isabell won't text me back anymore ): 3:00pm

 

Amber: Amanda text me back before I call Sara! 4:58pm

 

Amber: IM CALLING SARA! 5:46pm

 

Me: Sorry Amber I left my phone in my bag which was in my locker. It was fine actually I just did some homework and sketched. Im home now but Im eating dinner see you tomorrow.  8:34pm

 

When Sara came home she knocked on my door before walking in.

“What's going on?” she asks looking around my room. “The dead bodys under my bed” I say. It was a joke but she still looked under the bed before sitting on it. “Amber called me-Yea.. and I texted her saying I left my phone in my bag which was in my locker” I interrupt. I had to  make this excuse calm as I could. Saras no fool. She sighed. “I know but you know what time it is?” I nodded. “Yes I know. I Just did some homework and sketched as he did what ever work he was doing” she stared at me and I felt like I was going to puke. “Amanda I want you to know you can talk to me..” I sighed. Why does everyone say that so much? You can trust me you can talk to me but you try and talk to them and the next thing you know your on the street or all of a sudden a slut. “Nothing….” I shut my mouth. Nothing happened. I've said those two words more than 100 times. They felt so old, so used. I wanted to smile but I couldn't. “Nothing happened I promise”

She stared at me. “Whatever you say” she kissed my head and left. And deep down I knew I hadn't just fooled her that easily, not my grandmother.

The next morning when third period came I felt nauseous. Amanda Carter doesn't feel nauseous. She's not weak. But maybe I just am.

“You seem pretty quiet today. Dont worry I saw Nick yesterday at the grocery store. He said he’ll be here at lunch” says Amber her voice full of positivity. I nodded. “Right..” I knew I should be happy but what can I say? He left and now things are just..awkward. A girl Annie said were having another study hall. “Thank god I dont want P.E and I need to do homework” she glanced at me and I felt like she'd been doing it a lot today. We were both quiet as we walked to Mrs Ports room.  Amber insisted that we sit in the same spots from yesterday and I didn't complain. I laid my head on my arms and ignored everyone. Even Amber. Once the bell rung I held my breath. “Mrs Carter can I see you please” My heart thumped and my head felt suddenly heavy. Amber grabbed her stuff. “I'll see you after fourth” she says turning. I watched her leave and again I felt that feeling. Alone. “Close the door” he says glancing up this time. I did. “You'll come here after school again” he says standing. “I can't, I have Cheer practice” he stared at me. “After cheer you will come here”

“Is that such a good idea? Saras already suspicious and I know for a fact you dont want to deal with her” I stared right back at him and this made him smile. He lifted my chin. “I wondered where your sense of confidence had gone. It's simple you'll just skip practice” I sgh. “I cant” he stared at me. I stepped on my tiptoes and kissed him. He hugged me close to him and kissed me harder. I'm even more confused than I was yesterday. This is wrong so everyone says. But I dont hate it, I've missed this touch but that's even worse because no kid should be used to “This”

Then there's everyone to call me a slut and god knows I've been called that more than a thousand times. “You dont look like the kinda girl that wants this to stop..”

“Your right, I dont want it to stop but this is what I've grown up with it and I dont want it anymore” he kissed me on the forehead and sighed as I leaned back. “I suggest you get with the program” I glared at him I turned and opened the door but he slammed it shut. “1. Dont turn your back on me and dont think you won this argument. And I think you should stop with the I dont want it bullshit cause dont think I dont think you didn't like it cause the way you moan really turned me on” he stuffed his hands down my pants before I could react. “Dont think youll get anything better from Nick when you have a man standing right in front of you” I felt his finger slid around slowly and I held my breath my mind racing I hate it .I hate it. I hate it.I dont want it. He's a jerk wrong , an asshole.. I hate it. I gripped his hand and he smirked. “Look how much you love it but how much your pretending you dont. What for? That's not gonna change my feelings for you. This isn't wrong..for this to happen it's happen before and it's just nature” He kissed my neck and moved his finger faster. I tightened my legs but that didn't stop him.  Once the bell rung I was out the door. People were already waiting glancing at me as I walked away. Whatever thoughts were in there head would probably be pushed away as Jake was in the middle of “Fixing the projector”

At lunch, all the girls seemed a little more chirpy as Nick returned. I saw Isabell alone drawing at an empty table and I wondered if I should go over there. “I'll go less tension” I say glancing at Amber. I made my way to the table and sat across from her. “Go away Amanda k? I dont want to talk”

“Well I do. I want to say I'm sorry for what happened at the hunt and I hope I see you after school for cheer practice”

She glared at me. “Go away!”

“Your seriously gonna scream at me like a 6 year old?”

She sighed “Just go away Amanda that's all I want just go away” I stood and left. Well that was pointless. When lunch ended Amber went to talk to her despite my opinion. “Amanda” someone grabbed my hand and I whirled my head to see Nick. I pulled my hand away and his smile faded. “I know I've been gone for awhile... I'm sorry” Sorry? Everyone's always sorry to me. I shrugged. “Its ok but uh..I've got class” it wasnt it ok but he's the last person I wanted to talk to. I turned away but he grabbed my hand again dragging me in the opposite direction. “Nick let go of me!” he kept his grip around my wrist dragging me out of the cafeteria he dragged me into a bear by closet slamming the door shut.. I panted in the darkness. Cleaner and rubber filled my nostrils. I felt Nicks body slam into me and his lips devouring mine. Again I felt weak. I wanted to run I wanted to cry. But his lips I knew were right. Or is that my mind just tricking me?

“I could apologize over and over. I'm sorry I had to take care of somethings and one day I will tell you” he pants pulling away. I tried to catch my breath. I couldn't see him but I felt like I really could. I felt his jaw bone his cheeks his hair and kissed him again. Is this what it's like to miss someone? “I wish you would tell me now Nick, you just turned and left in the body of a wolf!” Nick covered my mouth silencing me. “I know and I would love to explain myself to you but, I rather not in a janitor's closet. After school I'll wait for you at your locker”

I felt suddenly super hot like the cool air was suddenly disappearing
“Um I'll try but I'm not positive I can”

“What do you mean?”

The bell rung saving me. I pushed by Nick and ran out the door.

At cheer practice the football team had stayed the last 20 minutes of their practice to watch us. I tried my best to ignore Nicks stare but I felt like it was almost impossible. Once we finished I let everyone go “Hey come here!”  Everyone swarmed this guy girls climbing on top of guys to see what he was looking at. I ran after Amber to see. His phone showed the news. “Yes that's right two girls have been declared missing. There mom Jennifer Wyles said they were to come home after school yesterday but haven't returned. None of their friends have any clue to where she could have gone. The last person to see them was there good friend Rachel who told us she hadn't even seen them on the bus to go home. Will catch you back right after this commercial this is Port news”

Rachel burst into tears and the girls all swarmed to hug her. Nick pulled me into him and I didn't hold back. “I thought it was over..” I whisper

“Me to”

After Cheer I didn't even wait for Amber. I know that's a terrible thing and that I really dont deserve her but I dont need her questions. Instead I marched to Mrs Ports room texting Sara.

 

Me: Two girls have been declared missing. Port News.

Sara: Watching it now. I want you home now”

 

I sighed. I stuffed my phone into my bag and walked into the classroom. Jake was throwing something in the trash. “Another girl is missing” I say he  grabbed my wrist pulling me to him “Rachel right? She was a whore not like you though” he kissed me and an Image of Nick flashed in my head. I pulled back. “Look I came to say this isnt working and I can't go through with this”

“Yes you can and you will, If I didn't want you I would make that very clear but I do and so far I have claimed you, so shut up and just be a good girl”

“Are you serious? You dont own me know one does. I won't tell anyone what happened here but I'm done” I opened the door and he quickly grabbed my hair pulling me back. He pushed me onto the floor, slamming the door shut he kicked me in the stomach to keep me down. I clutched my stomach as he straddled me, moving my hands he punched me again and again when suddenly the door burst open and everything was dark. When I woke up it didn't take me  long to realize I was in a hospital. A monitor beeped and I felt something touch my hip. Nick was holding my right hand yet his head was against my hip his eyes shut.I glanced over to a loveseat to see Sara was also asleep. “Nick…” I shook his shoulder softly and his eyes snapped open like he wasn't even sleeping. He blinked a few times before looking at me. He lifted his head and brought hand to his lips. The right side of his face which he had been sleeping on was red. “Are you sure you dont have some condition that makes you have a long term fever?” I ask feeling his forehead. He didn't answer, he just stared at me. I blinked before pulling at him. “Lay with me” he crawled over me laying on his side facing me. He still held my hand. “When do I get to leave? I dont like hospitals” he just stared at me he still hadn’t blinked, or maybe I just missed it. I wondered if he was in shock or something. “Please say something...” he leaned his forehead against mine. “I love you”

In the car Sara drove and I sat in the back resting my head on Nicks lap who played with my hair. I felt like crying. Not for what happend or not saying I love you back but because Sara had been crying back at the hospital. She's mad that I didn't tell her or she says “upset” so she has me on house arrest. Nick says its not because she's angry she's just in protective mode. I grabbed Nicks wrist and bit it, sucking. “What are you doing?” he whispers. I didn't answer. He sighed. Was he wondering why I hadn't said I love you back? I dont know why that's bothering me I mean after he said it I kissed him. Maybe it's because a guy has never said those three words to me before..like that.

Nick waited behind my closed door as I kicked off my pants and changed into a long white shirt. Putting my hair in a messy bun I crawled under the covers of my bed and yelled for him to come in. He pushed the door open and shut it behind him. Kicking off his shoes he crawled onto my bed and laid beside me. “Your cold” I say facing him. “No I'm fine I have...temperature issues if that makes sense”

“Not really” I say making out the outline of his face in the dark. “Whatever…...are you comfortable talking?” I blinked

“That’s what I've been doing isn't it?”

“I mean talking about what happened...you know..Mr Blake?”

“I got messed up with my past self who didn't know what was right and what was wrong..that's all” he was quiet. I was quiet. He finally kissed me on lips softly before sitting up. “I'll see you tomorrow”

“Your not staying?” I wish I could see his face. “Nevermind” I say rolling on my other side. He moved strands of hair off my cheek and kissed my neck. “I wish I could stay here but I got a curfew...and there's also Sara..I dont need her to kill me” I smiled slightly. “Go to sleep” he kissed my squished lips and finally crawled off me. The door opened spreading light and then shut leaving me in darkness. I rolled on my stomach and finally shut my eyes glancing out the window I could  see mist of clouds passing over the moon. The clouds make it look dull, but it was there. There to distract me of my thoughts that I wish would leave me alone.

 

Chapter 4 With A New Town Comes Something New To Learn

 

When I woke up I spent a full minute just trying to open my eyes. I sat up and blinked as light blinded me. Light? I glanced at my clock 9:12Am. “Shit!” I through the covers off and ran down stairs. Sara was on the couch with a cup of coffee. “My alarm didn't go off!”

“I know I turned it off, schools canceled” she says. I sighed. At least I get to spend some morning time with Sara. I grabbed a cup of coffee and opened the door. “Pants?” I shut the door. “I knew that” I ran down stairs with leggings and a hoodie, grabbing my coffee before walking outside. I  jumped down the steps as I heard the sound of a car engine. A car turned into our driveway and I knew it was Nick. He crawled out of his car in a black shirt with a denim jacket and a pair of jeans. He walked over and grabbed my coffee taking a sip. “You missed it, I almost walked outside with no pants” he smiled handing my coffee cup back. “Darn it” he kissed me and left for the house. I walked across the snow with my camera in hand. Every sip of coffee I took warmed my mouth but soon as it was gone my mouth was cold again. I wondered if that's how a fire felt once being but out. Or maybe that's how the object felt. I set my coffee by a tree and took a few shots of the forest. Only if I could find a deer. I sucked the inside of my cheeks and held my breath. Quiet. No birds. I felt the weird feeling when someone's watching you. I looked around but there was no one. Just an endless white and trees. I heard breathing and turned around a man stood staring at me. He was breathing so fast and he was so pale his eyes were red not like blood shot but his pupils. “Um..” he stared at me. “Fairy” he whispers. I backed away. “Come here” I shook my head like a 5 year old. “Im sorry..” he stared at me. Why wasn't he blinking? “Come here.. I won't hurt you” he smiled as if he found it amusing. I heard a snap and a growl. I turned and Blue was right there with the brown wolf that had ran for the white wolf on the day of the hunt. Fear fell on the man as Blue lips curled showing his pink gums with a snarl. The brown wolf stood calmly on the other side of me. “Jess!” I turned as the brown wolf was knocked over knocking me over. The brown wolf whimpered as another man attacked. I dont know how but he did. Everything happened so fast. Nick was there then shadow was ripping the man off of the brown wolf Blue stood above his eyes never leaving the man before. Whimpers and snarls barks and howls all filled my ears at once. The man in front of me was mauled by two gray wolves and then a redish one. I crawled forward but Blue snarled grabbing my shoulder between his jaws. I could feel his breath against my ear. A man's yell of agony filled the air and all was quiet. The man that attacked the brown wolf laid ripped into against a tree. The man that was here before laid in a pile of flesh and blood coating the packs muzzles. They all glanced at me but I turned my attention to the brown wolf there was a gash in his side as he stood. I pushed myself out of the snow my hands numb. I glanced at the wound how is he still standing? There were other questions running through my mind but I focused everything on this wolf. I grabbed a handful of snow and  pressed it against the wound. He growled lightly nipping at my face but giving it a lick. I glanced at Nicks ripped clothes. I grabbed a piece of the flannel. Shadow nudge me with his head. “Nick?” his eyes dilated and just as I thought he would nuzzle me, I thought he might lick my face but instead I saw him run away, the pack following. The only one to look back was Blue but he two disappeared into the unknown. The week passed and so far I have three lists.

1. things I hate in Maine
2. Things I love in Maine
3. Things I've learned and
4. Things I never expected.

Under The list of things I hate about Maine we have

1. Barely any sun
2. Not being able to even tell what season it is
3. Stacy.
4. Mr Blake.
5. Nick?

Under the list of what I love about maine we have

 

1. Sara
2. Amber
3. Nick my boyfriend?
4. Justin...for just being him.
5. My camera
6. Wolves
7. Isabel???

I couldn't really understand why I added him to the list and I still can't think of an Answer.

What I've learned in Maine

1. Werewolves exist
2. Vampires exist
3. Vampires have creators
4. Friendship actually exist for me
5. Love exists for me?

6.I like hugs

1. I like snow
2. Nick has seen me in my bra and underwear without me even knowing.

 

Things I never expected.

 

1. Having a real friend
2. Make out with a guy
3. Get a boyfriend?
4. To love Sara
5. To like living here
6. Be attacked by a vampire
7. Run into werewolves

I shut my notebook and pushed it under my bed. I didn't know what to make of what happened last week. With Nick..with Blue...with those..vampires. Sara has kept me home sense then, she says I need to rest. I don’t want to rest. That's the last of my concerns..where's Nick? I don’t know whether i should be looking for him or if I should stay here and be mad. I tried calling him which seemed to be the hundredth time. My call went straight to voicemail and I left one. “Nick...I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve called you now. You left...you left without an explanation of saying goodbye….I love you...but then again what do I really know…” I hung up not having anything more to say that I haven't said already. I’ve never thought twice about a boy...or really cared like this. It was nauseating...annoying. My phone buzzed and I looked down with half hope of it being him, no, just Amber. I was glad though, I was glad she called me regularly to check in with me, unlike Isabelle because we're not the best of pals. “Hey Amber”

“Hey bestie! Are you awake? Showered? Or dressed?”

“I could use a shower but why are you asking?”

“For the Willowdale FALL FESTIVAL!!! It's tomorrow so we're going to help out of the rest of the decorations and stuff and trust me there's a lot. Please say you’ll do it?” I sigh. Of course I didn’t want to do it sense I already was cozy in my bed but it sounded interesting and I have to admit I don’t know much of this town..or maybe I do.

“Fine. Be here by 2:30”

“Ok! This is gonna be great” the line went dead and I tossed my phone away. Pushing myself off then bed I went ahead and took a long shower letting my thoughts slip through the drain, I imagined it..but I Wasn’t sure if it was working..and I didn’t really want to check. When Amber arrived she was dressed in a pair of jeans a oranch like wool sweater and her red hair were in to dutch braids. I Wore a simple pair of black leggings and a black shirt with a red flannel over it, my hair dried, and in a messy bun. “So Sara’s letting you go?”

“I don’t know, I sent her a text”

“That's good, the fall festivals a pretty big thing that she even helps out, come on she needs us”

Who?” I ask walking toward the passenger seat. “Mrs Lee, she's the host of it every year” I nod climbing in and shutting the door. We talked on the way there singing to music, talking about what Amber had to fill me in on and even laughing. When we arrived to the the festival grounds most of it was finished but there were still people running around moving boxes or standing on ladders. It looked just like your average fair only fall themed.

I followed Amber through the arch that seemed to be missing a banner and followed her past the games and food. It was nice touch to add a bunch of leaves but I felt bad for all the people that would have to rake them up after. We found Mrs lee a plump women with too short of a bob to match. “Hi Amber I was wondering when I’d see you” Mrs Lee smiled a friendly smile at me and I opened my mouth to introduce myself but Amber beat me to it. “This is my best friend Amanda, I dragged her here to help out”

“We can always need as much help as we get, why dont you girls start with these” she walked around a table and pulled off a lid to a blue bin, pulling out tangled lights. “There all white lights some of them might be dead but there's enough to hang around places that look like they need em” Amber I nodded and Mrs Lee waddled away with her clipboard. We got started on the lights, untangling them, plugging them into a nearby outlet to see if they worked and finally carried them in there original bin to go hang them up. It wasn't tell we were in the middle of hanging up the last one, mean standing on a chair that we saw Sara with Justin at her side. “Hi Sara!” Amber said happily. Sara smiled at her and looked up me with a different look. Concern? Or a look indicating that she was trying to read my mind.

“Were almost done with the lights. How long have you guys been here?”

I looked at Justin back to my grandmother wondering if something important had happened. “We've been here for about an hour now, I’m usually more help but I've just been so busy. I brought Justin with me though” Justin blew his bangs out of his face keeping his hands in his pockets. He smiled slightly, looking up at me. I smiled in return and grabbed the pin Amber was holding for me to pin up the last side of the lights. I jumped off the chair and looked at it to see just how even there were and they were even enough. “Are you going to the festival tomorrow?” I ask Justin, leaning against the balloon blast game. “Are you going?”

I shrugged. “I've helped so I guess going isn't such a bad thing, and being involved with something in this town has to count for something” Amber hugged me. “You aren’t wrong, there's still so much history we have to teach you”

I leaned my head into her shoulder. “Like what? The mysterious murders?”

Sara was sitting in the chair keeping quiet but still listening.

“That and some of the traditions I guess. Its kinda sad that no one really has any clues what's happening” says Justin.

I sigh “Has this happened before? Mysterious deaths..”

“Of course it's happened..but its not deaths it's usually just missing people. Runaways”  i stared at Justin for a few moments. Was he a one, a run away?

The sky was starting to darken signaling as our hint to leave. Amber dropped me off back home and hugged me goodbye. Seconds passed as Sara pulled up in her truck with Justin who followed her out. I went ahead leaving the door open for them and walked up to my room. My room was a bit colder than downstairs making me decide against wanting to grab a blanket as I kicked off my shoes. I heard footsteps climbing the staircase and went ahead grabbing a blanket as Justin walked in. “You dont knock?” I ask sitting on my bed with my teal blanket wrapped around me. “Didn’t no I had to” he crawled onto my bed and collapsed on his stomach staying there. A part of me wanting to mess with his hair again but I kept the urge back. “Can I ask you a question?” he turned his face up to look at me. “Sure”

“Did you run away?”

He smiled letting out a small laugh. “No, I didn’t. I can only guess the fact that you dont see me with my parents that you thought I was a run away right?”

I shrugged. “Part of it..”  He sighed sitting up “Both my parents are dead, so no I’m not” I tilted my head. “Sooo you live by yourself?”

He nodded. “Yea, with a few friends. There not like dropouts or lazy bums that smoke weed every day, there...family” I nodded slowly. He hasn't been found out yet. As in no teachers had tried looking into this? He should be in a foster home, at least I think. Maybe Sara takes charge in being his guardian, that would make sense. “Did you run away?” the question took me by surprise. “What?”

“Did you run away?”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I mean only a few times but, I dont feel like running from this place” he nodded his head staring at me and we fell in silence. “How about we go together…”

I looked up at him and it looked like there was anger in his eyes, or maybe anxiousness. “To the fall festival? Sure” I shrug with a smile. He smiled slightly letting his bangs fall into his face.

When Justin had left, I felt alone. Even with Sara just down stairs. My thoughts of Nick were starting to slowly haunt me. He had left? Why? I tried thinking of all the reasons why he could have left. Or maybe he's just ignoring me. I started feeling guilty for saying yes to Justin, but it's not like it meant anything, were just friends hanginout at the festival, and even if it did mean anything it's not like i should care. Nick left first. It wasn't that strong of a point but it let me fall asleep.

I was one of the first people in Mr Ritters class I didn't even know how I felt about that. Before the first bell rung I found myself thinking about wolves. Again I felt lost, not alone but lost. Nick had left. How could he just leave like that? A presence overcame me and I met Justin's eyes. “Hey” I say. He blew his bangs out of his face. “You seem down..” was it that easy to tell. “Im fine” I lie. He stared at me but he kept quiet. Mr Ritter walked in and I wondered if we ever get subs. “Alright ladies and gentlemen this is my classroom not some mingle club, turn your homework in the basket and turn to page 425” I sighed. “Mrs Carter. Mr Anderson do we not have our home work?” what's with this guy? What's so fucking wrong with not turning your home work in as soon as its do? People have things to do you know? I crossed my arms biting my tongue. “I didn't do it” says Justin casually. Mr Ritter glared at him and glanced at me. “I didn't know I forgot, I'll turn it in tomorrow”

“You forgot? Well maybe I need to call your grandmother and ask her to remind you”

“You don’t need to say anything to her mind your business!” I sucked in my cheeks as everyone was staring at me. “Cock sucker” Justin blurts. Mr Ritters face turned red. “Mr Anderson please make your way to the office, you to Mrs Carter!” my mouth dropped, that's right, just dump a whole barrel of gasoline to my fire why don’t you! I was going to argue but honestly who wants to be in his class. I bit my lip and followed Justin out who seemed to be happy as he practically skipped out of the room. “Did he get in like a divorce or something?” I ask once outside the classroom. he shrugged his shoulders “Probably something like

that” I nodded. As we rounded for the office he kept walking for the entrance. “Skipping, really?”  He turned his head “Care to join me?” I glanced at the office lady who wasn't paying attention. Damn, Sara will probably be mad but what's the odds, besides this gives me a chance to get him and..to distract myself from Nick. I smile and jog over he smiles a row of white teeth running. He slid down the stairs railing and waited for me at the bottom. “So where to?” I ask walking at his side wondering why he seemed so energetic. “Anywhere you want. I have a place in mind, let me drive” I tossed him my keys. “Nice ride” he says opening the door. “Hey...seems your pretty close to my grandma..she said she was about to adopt you at some point” he stared at me. Ok I admit that probably wasn't the best thing to bring up at that moment and I regretted it immediately “Sara. yea I spent a lot of time at her place.. it's the only place I really call home” he blew his bangs out of his face putting the key in the ignition. I wondered how they really met.. was it when his mother one day just sobbed to my grandma? Or maybe Sara had taken care of Justin's dad when he was our age. Justin seemed pretty confident driving on the roads, maybe that's how all people living here are. “What about you...I heard you came from Texas” I smiled “Yea that didn't last long. I stayed with my Aunt, she got married and of course he hated me so I moved in with Sara”

“How do you feel about living here?” he asks keeping his attention on the road. “Okay. I'm not scared that she’ll kick me out or she’ll marry some creep. My grandma use to come all the time to Washington. I knew it was really just for my mom. Sara promised me I'd come to Montana one day she's good like that” Justin glanced at me. “Yea she is” we kept quiet for the whole ride and honestly it didn't bother me. We parked in front of a house whoever it was they were throwing a huge party as cars filled the front yard. “A party?” Suddenly Nick flashed in my mind. “It'll be fun I promise just..stay close” he climbed out of the car and so did I. “ No school?” he smirked. “Most are drop outs or just skipping you know” I nod looking around. The kids here seemed like total rebels most goth or pretending to be. In the house music blared and people shouted. The house was totally wrecked with glass, streamers, bottles.  People were dancing, drinking playing pool and making out. I walked to the pool and watched as one guy focused on a shot. He glanced at me and stood straight. “You're awfully pretty, what's your name?” his voice sounded all country like “Amanda.. now dont miss”

He smiled as he bent over to take the shot. The guy with the other stick stared at me with an evil smile. I felt like a puppy in a pound. The guy shot and the 8 ball went into a net. A few people cheered laughing as the dude glared. “Whatever I didn't want to play any ways” he glanced at me and snaked a hand around my waist. I turned my face from him pushing my hands against his chest. “Why dont you go have another drink..” I say with a glare he smiled his breath smelt like beer and cigarettes.  He frowned looking past me. He let go of me and took a step back. When I turned Justin smiled at me. “Come on..” he seemed so much happier. I dont think he’s ever smiled at me before. He took my hand and lead me away. I wanted to know what he did to make that guy let go of me. The guy was obviously older than Justin. “Justin who are these guys?” I ask as he sits me on a stool. He frowned “Dont look at me like that. Drink?” I glanced at the beer and back to him. He sighed “Your such a baby” he stood his face almost touching mine and pulled me off the stool. He lead me to the back and through an open sliders door. He climbed into a hammock and so did I. It was surprisingly dry. We laid there with our feet dangling off the side.. “Where were you before you moved in with your Aunt..Sara didn't talk much about your mom with me” he took a swig of his beer. “I lived with my Aunt Doris. I moved after her husband got arrested, he tried to murder her” Justin looked at me. “Guess your life hasn't been the best either” I shake my head “Nah before that I lived with my Uncle. He was charged with child porn and rape. The only reason I first moved at all was because my mom died. Everyone was terrible about it saying how she killed herself because her husband left or she jumped in front of a car or how she should have been in a mental asylum…” I rolled on my side facing him. “I never thought about it when I was younger..before then. She never laid a hand on me or anything I still dont know what really happened... she was just sick” he rolled over. I felt kinda like crying. I hadn't really planned on telling him this much it just kinda happened.I felt my whole body move to him as if I was shoved. “Justin..” I say wide eyed.  He said nothing just rested his head on top of mine. What am I supposed to do? Am I just suppose to be comfortable like this? When in the back of my mind the scene of Nick just turning around and running away keeps replaying itself. Why?...and why is Justin being all friendly now? It it because he knows Nicks gone? Or is it just a change of heart..

I sighed shutting my eyes with a shaky breath as tears slowly fell. When I woke up I was on a couch. I was resting my head on Justin's lap. I sat up slowly “Im sorry..” I whispered still sleepy. “Dont be..its raining so I brought you inside. Saras looking for you, she's tried calling me” I groan. I stood and walked away to call here. I glanced outside and it was pouring down rain. There wasn't even a chance for the phone to ring “Amanda?!”

“Sara Im fine wha-Dear god Amanda its pouring down rain your not at schools and you were sent to the principal's office?! They said that Justin was sent there and he was missing to so I assumed you were with him but he wont pick up!” wow so this it the frantic worried side of Sara. I sigh “Im sorry Sara Mr Ritter was a total ass though. He sent Justin to the office first then me cause I forgot to do my homework and then I kinda drove with Justin to a party and fell asleep. He told me that you were worried and had called him so I called you right away.. I'm sorry..” she huffed “Give the phone to Justin” I winced and marched back to him he was talking to a guy. “For you” I say he took the phone. I glanced at parker who took a sip from his drink. “So your Parker” he raised an eyebrow “Yea, and your Amanda” I nod my head. Justin didn't say much only a yes or no or a uh huh. He took a swig of beer and handed me the phone “Hello?” I say waiting for it “I just had a great conversation with Justin. I want you home and tomorrow you will apologize to Priceable Martin. I dont care about Mr Ritter he can rot in hell for all I care.” I smile “Fine, I'll see you soon” I hung up and sighed. “At least she won't kill me, nice talking to you parker” I say walking. The house was still full of bodies and screaming music. When I was outside a few cars were gone. “Want me to drive you home..” asks Justin. I assumed he was following me. “I can drive perfectly thank you very much and besides how many beers have you downed?”

“This is my 6th but my record is 17” I shake my head “Maybe I'll drive”

He shrugged his shoulders climbing into the passenger side. I smiled “I'm sure Sara will love to see you”  he sighed “Course who would” I shake my head and drive. “I'm trying my best not to criticize your driving skills” he says once were in town. “Shut up ok, if I was actually on a dry road Id show you how I can drive” I say with confidence. “I'll take you up on that” I try to hold back a smile. When I got home Saras truck was gone. “She must still be working..” I sigh and climb out. “What time does she usually get home?”

“Around dinner or later. I dont mind though, I like having the house to myself” I let us in and noticed the fire place was un lit yet the house was still warm. Maybe she had just left. I kicked off my shoes and tossed my jacket on the couch. “So what do you do here?” he asks following me. “Anything “ I say grabbing a coke. I walked around him and laid on the couch flipping the T.V on.  I raised an eyebrow as Justin stood right in front of me. “What did I do?” he asks “I dont no what did you do?” I ask opening my coke. He sighed laying on the couch and resting his head on my lap. “You seem mad..” he says. I took a sip of my coke and set it aside. “Your not very good at reading girls”

“No, it's just you..I think” he says making a face. I suck in my cheeks I feel kind of guilty. Maybe I'm not trying hard enough to get Nick back. I sigh running my hands through his hair. “Hey, have you thought about cutting your hair?”

“Not really should I?” I shake my head. “No I was just wondering if you were actually thinking of cutting it so I could tell you not to. It looks good  long” I say flicking it in random directions. He rolled on his side shutting his eyes. I almost felt sad not to see his blue eyes and again I felt guilty for that. It was 3 when Sara got home. When the door opened I was busy fishtailing apart of his hair. Sara raised her eyebrows at me. “Heee decided to come back with me “I say stretching out the E and running my fingers through the loose braid. She smiled “Is that right? Still skinny as ever”  she walked over and stroked his hair. His eyes fluttered and he glanced up “I swear you get younger every day..” he says casually “This is why I dont always feel like strangling you and I'm guessing you're staying to?” Justin sighed sitting up “Yup not like anyone will miss me” she glared at him before softening her gaze. “Behave” she says walking. I watched as she disappeared. I wanted to know more about his family but I didn't really want to bring it up. “You stay here a lot?” I ask. He shook his head still tired. “Not as much as I use to. Dont worry about it” he says with a grin. He glanced down and twisted the bracelet I had on the back of my ankle. “Pretty Isn't it?” I ask he glanced at me his eyes bright. “You think it's pretty?” he asks. There was a hint of something there. Amusement? “Well yea, dont you think so? The blue stones kinda remind of your eyes” he tilted his head “So you think my eyes are pretty?” I couldn't help but smile he looked confused now. “Yes your eyes are quite unique”

“Oh..well your eyes are pretty to” he says with a grin. I smile “Thanks” I wonder if I called him hot if he would say the same thing back. I laughed at this and Justin raised an eyebrow. “Dont ask” I start twisting a strand of his hair and he sits there quietly watching.

At dinner Justin didn't eat with us. I found it odd but didn't question it. After dinner I took a shower and changed into a tank and shorts. When I walked out of the bathroom. Justin was flipping a page of my old diaries. “Justin!” I yell. I ran over and grabbed it from him “Why cant I read it?” he asks holding it away from my reach “Because it's personal!” I smack him in the arm. I realised I was sitting on him. He didn't seem to mind as he kept reading. I grabbed the book shutting it. “I might let you read it sometime but I dont know!”  I say putting it on my nightstand. He sighed “I had a journal when I was eight and then my dad called me a pussy and beat me for it” I frowned and slapped him. “Why would you say that!” he moved his jaw and sat up with me still on his lap. “Your so mean for bringing stuff up like that I try not to bring stuff up like ask questions and you do the opposite all the time!” I huffed a tear falling. Why...I felt angry if not upset and now I was confused..I wanted Nick..I wanted my questions answered.

Justin hugged me laying down again, pulling me with him“I dont mean to make you upset..” he whispers. I sigh sitting up. “Your still going with me to the festival right?”  I had totally spaced on it and was actually glad he nodded his head.

 

Chapter 6 Another Funeral

 

At the festival it was full of people as if the whole town and more had come. I was intrigued by the lights we had hung and all the fall decorations. It was so pretty. Sara had helped today so she was already here, somewhere. I scanned the heads of people standing on my tiptoes when someone grabbed my hand. “Just so we dont get seperated” Justin casually pulled me ahead only I was still confused screaming inside. He was so casual with me now, I was positive now that it was because Nick was gone. Did he think he had no chance at being my friend with Nick here? I guess he wasn't proved wrong..

I let myself be pulled still in aw at the colors and the rides. I watched a little girl walk with her family holding a bear that was about the same size as her. It didn't take long for us to find Sara and Anna as they were helping dish out slices or whole things of pies, all different types. I stole a bite of apple pie from Anna's plate and glared at a women who looked disappointed in me. Sara let Anna go to hang out with us and waved. It was a blast honestly, we ate food rode on rides and finally as we were drinking sodas a crackle in the sky sounded as pink lights followed exploding in the sky. “Fire works?” I say watching more be released. “I forgot to tell you but yea they shoot fireworks around this time” Anna stared at the sky as Justins face was casual. He wasn't look at the sky though, instead he was staring at a darker part of the grounds where there was no reason to go. “You ok?” I ask. He looked down at me smiling slightly. “Yea”

Suddenly a scream rang out almost giving me a heart attack as more followed. People were standing now, backing away or running over to help. Justin was already way ahead of us as i grabbed Ambers hand and followed toward the chaos. We shoved through the crowd that was being ordered to step back as three dead bodies laid on the ground next to each other. Blood coated all of them covering the ground. It would have taken time to do this if not hours! A man declaring himself a doctor ran through as a police officer hugged a women who was bawling. Sara met us join the paramedic as she checked the bodies. “Please stay calm everyone, its alright..just uhh..” Mrs lee was trying her best to take control but it wasn't working. You can't just yell out. “It ok everyone! Please go back to enjoying yourselves!” cause that to me is a little messed up. Sara patted her back comforting and raised her yanks before yelling for everyone to shut up. Silence fell through the crowd. “The police and paramedics are on there way, I'm sorry that your fun was ruined by this tragedy, please go home and lock your doors the fall festival is over” everyone started rushing out it a quiet manner talking in hushed voices leaving me, Justin, Amber ,Sara two baling women, a little girl, all the people that volunteered, Mrs Lee and three slaughtered bodies. The police had arrived no later and came over to investigate and close off the scene cutting it of with caution tape. Now what had been a fun festival was no making me dizzy of red and blue lights along with police and evn police dogs walking around the area. “They were going to get us beers they were gone for barely 5 minutes!” Shrieked a women. I didn't know what to think, it had all happened so fast. The three of us hadn't moved from our stance. Sara ordered us to go home but before we could we had to answer some questions. After that we were free to leave. The car ride was silent, I felt dizzy and tired...as none of this was happening. We dropped Amber off and headed back to the house. Justin had nothing to say and I wonder why, maybe he wasn't done coming up with a conclusion..that sounded like him. But even when we got to and inside the house he was still quiet. I wondered if he knew one of the guys..

I turned on the T.V and the scene was already on the news.

“A terrible incident was done at Willowdale fall festival this evening, as the fireworks were going off three men were slaughtered, another murder. The investigation says after a quick look that there seemed to be bites on their necks but not clear enough to see what animal it could be. The bodies will be looked further through as the police search around the area one more time. As of tonight and until further notice please keep indoors and have your doors and windows locked” the news ended going off to another person on a different matter. “Will we have school tomorrow?” I ask

Justin shrugged. “I dont think so…”

Silence fell between us till I broke it. “What are you thinking...your so quiet”

He looked over at me from the couch and slouched. “Im just tired”

I sat and sighed.

 

To days Friday and I'm so ready for the weekend. No school. To sleep in. Today seemed such a lazy day not just for me but everyone seemed a bit happier you know like nothing really matters cause you can just get to it later because you have the weekend. No one seemed to be talking about what happened at the festival, at least not anymore. I walked to my locker with Amber. she sighed “I'm so glad its the weekend. Hey maybe you can spend the night at my house?” I smile “Sure I'll ask Sara” I say with a smile. She smiled she seemed more open now that we've been talking for a few days. She smiled all of a sudden “Ill wait at your car” she slips away. I watched confused then spotted Justin leaning against my locker, he looked like he was sleeping. I felt utterly confused, he never made any work of being friends with me he's always been distant, does he know Nicks gone? I walked up to me. “Tired..” I say. He opened his eyes his eyes were bright again. “Not really” he says staring at me. I smile. “Your on my locker” I state “Uh huh” I smile “So move” I say pulling him by the hand he didn't even budge. I let myself fall backward the only thing keeping me up the grip of my hand in his and he still didn't move. “Your pretty strong” I say casually even though he seemed like the fricken hulk. He pulled me up and lifted me off my feet. “How much do you work out” I ask awkwardly looking down at him. “I dont” he says setting me down. He must be taking something geez. “Uh huh”

“Your going to Ambers” it wasn't a question. I nodded “If Sara says yes which she probably will. I'll see you later?” he tilted his head. “I'll be around..stay safe” he grinned and walked off. I sighed and grabbed my stuff. “You and killer boy huh?” I frowned already knowing who it was. “Yea Isabel were friends” I say shutting my locker. She smirked “Didn't seem like it from where I was standing, Hey you should be more careful” I rolled my eyes. “Why cause one day he’ll put me in a body bag?”

“That's exactly what I'm saying” her face was cold. I glared at her.  What's her problem? All of a sudden she wants to talk? “What do you know Isabel?” I say shaking my head. “Dont. There isn't real proof its just in the hands of people he trusts” she says in disgust. “Your pathetic Is, honestly if he killed that kid so what? That's something that everyone's not gonna understand” I blinked realizing what Id said. She stuck her hands in her pockets. “Im gonna pretend you didn't say that cause I know you're smarter than that” she stormed off and I stormed off in the other direction. Amber was just walking out of French “Hey you ok?”

“Oh I was until Isabel had to accuse and whatever the hell she did. She thinks she knows me!” I swear when I'm mad my brain doesn't function right. She walked quickly after me. “Oh dont worry about it Amanda shes just..lost.. And besides, if you really want to be with Justin you shouldn't be afraid to ask” I stop in my tracks her almost running into me. “Amber I'm with Nick!” I took a deep breath tapping my foot. Amber frowned at me “He hasn't been around though..”  I dont need those words in my head.

“Drop it” I say marching again. In the car I sighed calming down she can be an asshole, not Amber, Isabelle. We stopped by my house to get clothes. “That's fine honey I'm off tomorrow praise the lord” says Sara. I smile as I adjust my bags strap on my shoulder. “I'll see you tomorrow love you” I yell “love you to! Tell your mom I say hi Amber!”

“Will do sara!” We left the house and off to hers.  At Amber's house it was a pretty white house in a big neighborhood. Ambers mom worked at a restaurant. “Hey girls hungry?” she yells from the kitchen. “Hang on mom!” I follow Amber upstairs and to her room there's more things it in then mine, like pillows, stuffed animals. I swear inside she's just a kid. Even her PJs have cupcakes on them. “They still fit ok?” I smile “Ok”

I followed her down stairs and into her kitchen. Rachel had the same strawberry red hair as Amber and green eyes. “Hey Im heading out I have a few errands, help yourselves to anything ok?”

“Ok, Oh Sara says hi” says Amber grabbing a box of cheez its. Rachel grabbed her keys from a hook. “Really? I haven't talk to her in ages... when you talk to her tell her I'll be up soon to chat, love you girls”  

“Bye!” we both yell. As soon as the door closed we run up to her room. We watched movies talked about the cute guys in the movies and gossiped. Anything Isabel was out of the question. “So who do you like?” I ask.

I realized Id never asked her this question and I kinda felt bad about it. She looked shocked. “What? No one really..not my taste” I raise an eyebrow “Uh huh tell me who!” she sighed “No one really.. I mean parkers cute but-  you like Parker?!” my mouth dropped as I gasped. Her face turned pink “No! I mean not really he's cute- you like him! I would never think you'd be interested in boys like him all innocent and stuff” She covered her face. “He's cute I know! but it's not like I have a chance with him! besides my mom would never let me!” she huffed letting herself fall flat on the bed. “Who knows you are pretty cute” she turns pink again “Your terrible! He's so cute and it's not like he's some big jerk..I've talked to him a few times and he seemed pretty nice” she pouted all sad “I'll talk to him for you if you want” her face brightened “Really? What would you say?” I shrugged my shoulders “I dont know I'd tell him hey my friend kinda likes you or you should be friends with her or something” she shook her head “I dont know. I wish I could but I'd never have the confidence” I pulled my ponytail over my shoulder. Whether she like its or not I would talk to Parker if I was to ever actually bump into him so I could say “It wasn't like I went to find him”. The rest of the evening we watched horror movies and laughed at every jumpscare. It was about 1:30am and Amber was fast asleep. I took her empty bowl that once had ice cream in it and stuck it with mine on a nightstand. When I heard the front door open I quickly turned of the T.V

and was about to crawl into bed when I heard another voice. I opened the bedroom door, curious, and walked to where I could see down stairs. Rachel stood making out with some random guy. Its none of my business but honestly does Amber have to live with this? “Shh come on I'll fix you something to drink…” The guy slapped her. I winced. The guy squat down and unbuckled his belt. I stepped back and quickly walked back to Amber's room. I couldn't believe what I saw. Not like I hadn't seen it or been through it but Rachel seemed like a great mother. Was she doing this all for money? I closed the bedroom door and crawled under the covers of the bed. Amber was so innocent and sweet I couldn't imagine what she would be like if she knew. She didn't deserve that...or maybe she already knew...no she wouldn't have brought me to her house? Would she? Not like I’d  care either way. I sighed and drifted off to sleep.

“What do you think about this one?” Amber spun around in the tight green dress. Is it just me thinking this or does everyone think that red heads look great in green dresses or just green in general? “Of course! only you can pull it off”  she smiles. “Are you sure you dont need glasses?” I turned my head to see Stacy and her friends always following her around like some lost puppies. “It looks great on her, no one even asked for your input” I spat. She rolled her eyes “Well I just thought you should know green isn't her color and besides you can see how FAT she is with it so tight around her and besides it's not like shes got any reason to wear it” Amber looked like she was gonna burst into tears. “Stacy beat it bitch your the one to talk about weight!” she glared at me. “Dont start with me slut! You're the one that's going out with a fucking murderer!” I glared at her “You think you can just step over anyone! We all know you fucked more boys than you can count” I say rolling my eyes. She smiled “Your still a virgin right? How pathetic is that” I stood and walked up to her. “F.Y.I far from it and I suggest you get this through your thick skull go buy a fucking gallon of ice cream cause deep down we know that's what you do every night cause your life is so unfair with family problems and no friends cause all of them are fake! And if you got some sloppy remark to spit in my face go ahead cause one word and I will slap you like your a fucking fly!”

“I- *bam* my hand burned as she held her hand to the left side of her cheek. Tears welled up in her eyes as she glared at me. She turned and stomped away. Amber was in the dressing room. “Amber!” I yell poking my head in the dressing room. The dress was half off and she was crying. “Such a bitch!” She huffs. She kicked off the dress and looked at herself in the mirror. “God Im fat!” I roll my eyes with a sigh and pulled her to me in a hug. “She's lying Amber!” I pull back and grab her face. “Listen Amber I wouldn't lie to you! (OK I would lie to her but only for her protection) Your beautiful and you looked stunning in that dress! Anyone would be lucky to have you as there girl and I'm lucky to have you as my bestfriend so dont cry..because she's just jealous” she sniffed “Really? Your so nice!” she says crying again. I smile hugging her again. “Damn your ass though talk about goals!” she burst out in laughter. After she had calmed down we continued shopping. With the green dress. Once in the car I brought up the party. “Hey so I know it's been a rough day and everything so I was thinking.. you wanna go to a party?” I ask with an evil smile. She smiled “Is this why we went shopping?”

“If you want it to be. Come on, Parker will be there” her smile kinda faded. “Oh hmm ok. Sounds like fun” she says smiling again. I smile. She deserved to let herself have fun. The house was at a different location it was way bigger close to some woods. Cars filled up the acre  of land and you could hear the music down the street. “Are you sure about this?” she asks “I promise. I won't let anything happen to you. I promise will have fun” I climbed out and linked arms with her. I knew Justin would already be here and he was at the bar. “Hey you got more of those?” I ask he grinned “What? you drink now?”

“Shut up and help me” I say “There's a bunch in the cooler outside feel free to take a dip” he says taking a swig of his beer. I smile and lead her to the back. In the back there was a patio and a big pool with a bunch of floaties. I found the cooler by the barbecue and handed her a beer she hesitated grabbing it. “Dont be so nervous Amber your ok” I say she nodded twisting the cap of. I grabbed a few more beers and went to sit at a table. “So what are you gonna do when you see Parker?” I ask taking a swig. She shrugged her shoulders. “I dont no. I'm kinda unsure I dont think he’ll even notice me” I raised an eyebrow. A few beers in her and her confidence will probably be boosted. A couple drinks later we were both laughing about something stupid “Did you see his shirt!” we fell laughing. “Ooo come swimming with me!” I stood and pulled off my shirt and shorts. She laughed “Really? Sharks a minnows” she says laughing I pull her up. She undressed and dropped her beer “The maid will clean it up” she says seriously I laugh not as drunk as her but everything she said made actual sense. We jumped in the water and it was actually warm. “Whys it warm I think someone peed!” she says laughing. I shake my head with a smile kicking my legs. “Come on”.  I dove under and swam closest to the house. Once I reached the surface I spit water out and Amber came out coughing “Wow! I wish I could hold my breath that long!” I laughed “You just did”

“Not really” she says confused. We pushed ourselves out sitting on the ledge. I shivered a little the air wrapping itself around me. “I'm glad we came it's fun here” she says I smile turning my head as more people were showing up. “You wonder how there's so many people” I say turning. Amber kissed me. I leaned back shocked. She looked confused. “What? it was just a kiss!  You know friends kiss each other all the time” she says in an obvious tone. I felt lost again. “Amber you know Im not interested in you..” I say “I know but in the dressing room everything was so heated and I realized maybe I dont really like Parker. Anyways dont be such a baby! Ha! Its funny its like we swapped places right now!” she says laughing. I sigh my teeth chattering my face felt warm. “If you were actually sober you wouldn't have just kissed me” I say she rolled her eyes almost falling into the pool “I dont know but everyone's sexy here so” she says throwing her hands up in the air. She leaned in and kissed me again and I didn't pull back. It was an actual kiss her lips felt so warm. When she pulled back she smiled “Wow! I've never kissed a girl before! What if I actually dated one? What does that make me a bitch?” she smiled I look away. “Not in a slut way but yea were all bitched I say. She nods “I need a drink!” I grab her arm “I dont think so some water maybe.Stay here” I demand and run to get our clothes checking here and there to see that she's still sitting there. When I come back she looks like she's about to fall asleep. “Come on” I pull her up and put her arm around mine. Walking inside I sat her on a stool and grabbed two of the many towels that were on a table handing on to her she slowly rubbed it across her head. “ Im pretty tired” she says. “I know. Dry yourself off before you get sick” She nodded slowly patting the towle around her. I sat her on the love seat couch. “I need you to stay here ok? dont go anywhere” she nodded. I put my shirt back on running to my car. I grabbed the extra set of clothes and ran back to Amber she was leaning down wiping her mouth. She puked. “Dont worry change into this ok?” she nodded standing she starting changing right there and I turned. Once she had one the big white shirt and sweatpants I wrapped a dry towel around her hair and let her fall on the sofa. I grabbed a blanket from the other couch and put it down on her. She was already asleep. I hoped she would feel better in the morning. That was if her mom didn't kill her.. but I doubt she would even notice. I noticed a presence and turned to see Justin right behind me. I gasp “You scared me” I say. he grinned glancing down “Swimming?” he asks tilting his head. I nod my head. “Yea I would be wearing warm clothes but uh to bad I was thoughtful and caring and gave them to Amber” I say. He pulled me to him. “Your cold” he says. My teeth chattered he was so warm but not warm as Justin. “Just a little..”  I glanced up and his eyes were so pretty like stars. He kissed me and I turned my head. “How much have you drank?” I whisper. he kissed me again slowly “However much you'd think would be the limit of me having is what I drank” I smile pushing all his hair back. “Right um..to bad I have to go” I say he frowned “You dont have to go home. I'll say that you fell asleep here and that I let you sleep” he says kissing my cheek. “Yea and what about Amber?” I ask he sighed “She can stay here. We can drop her off drive to Saras and you can go back to sleep” I nod sighing my legs were cold as I put them together. “Im sorry Ive been stalling” he grabs my hand and leads me to stairs. “What do you mean stalling? I ask even though my head was filled with thoughts. I just kissed Justin. I've also kissed AMber but not really because they both kissed me first. “So you wouldn't have to go home so early” he says. I glance down at our hands IM not so sure whats right or wrong anymore. He lead me into a nice made room with red sheets and wooden walls. It was small but I dont care it had a bed which makes it glorious. I looked out the window to just see darkness and a few cars. “Put this on I'll be right back” he shut the door behind him before I had time to turn around. A big buttoned up flannel lay on the bed along with a pair of boxers. I quickly changed sighing as they were dry. I crawled under the covers of the bed and sighed in relief. I felt like my energy was just drained, the bed was so soft and cozy not as cozy as mine at Saras but close. I whipped my head around when the door opened. Justin closed the door behind him and turned off the light. I realized how bright the moon really was as it lit up half the room. Justin crawled under the covers next to me and pulled me close to him. I sat up. “Justin look I was in a relationship with Nick...or I sorta was and then he just left all of a sudden. I can't explain but I want us to just be friends…” he was quiet. “That's fine…” I stayed propet up not knowing if that was Just fine. I laid down and rested my head on his chest.

 

When I woke up I was laying in the back of a car. I sighed and noticed Justin's black hair. “Justin” I say my head pounding. “Im sorry were going to Saras you can take a ibuprofen when your there” I crawled in the passenger seat with my blanket. The sky was slowly lighting up. “Lay with me” I demand. He chuckled “I would if I wasn't driving lay down and sleep I promise I'll be laying with you when you wake up” I frowned and lowered the back of my seat.

 

When I woke up the sun stabbed me in the eye. I groaned and wiped my eyes. Justin was on his stomach passed out. Sun. sun? I'd never thought I'd see the day where the sun actually shinned. I sighed Justin doesn't even care about what I said last night. As I grew more awake my head didn't hurt as much. Justin resumed asleep and I walked down stairs. Sara was on the couch a cup of coffee sat on the side table. I took it and sipped on it. “listen here young lady I want you to be straight did you sleep with him?” I shook my head “No! Well I kissed him but that doesn't really count cause he kissed me first” I say sitting by her she glanced at me. I was still in the flannel and boxers. “I brought a extra pair of clothes for the party cause I knew there would be a pool but Amber went with me to the party and she was so drunk and tired I gave her the clothes and let her sleep”

“Where is she now?” I took a long sip of the coffee. “We dropped her off or Justin did he said something about it last night dropping her off and letting me sleep here I dont really remember” she sighed taking a sip of her coffee. I never really got it and I didn't want to ask. But she never really seemed mad. Like wouldn't a parent ground their kid or something for staying overnight at someone's house without calling and pulse it was a party I mean I could have done drugs or slept with Justin and she would never known. I sighed “He's sleeping still” she says it wasn't a question. I nod my head. Sipping my coffee nectar of the gods. Two cups of coffee later and a shower I walked down stairs with a tank on and plaid sweats. Justin and sara both glanced at me like they were in some deep conversation. I squinted my eyes at them and walked to the kitchen. I plugged in a blender and started cutting strawberries. I cut up some bananas apples and put them all in the blender. I put in two spoonfuls of sugar some milk and turned it on. It sounded like I had just started a chain saw. I turned it off just as Justin walked in. he was wearing a black hoodie and grey sweats. “What are you making?..” he asks looking at the blender. I thought for a moment. “I dont know” I say pouring it into a colorful starbucks cup. I sipped it and it tasted yummy. “Not bad” I say he made a face. “What your not much of an eater” he shrugged. “Depends what there is..my systems a little different” I frown “Dont hide from me..” his face dropped. “I'll explain it to you soon I promise” he says kissing my head. I swallowed and he quickly kissed me. “You better”  he bit my lip and walked out. I poured the rest of my smoothie into the cup and walked out of the kitchen. Sara was grabbing her coat. “I'll see you tonight she says kissing my head. “Ok drive safe” I say. As she left I sat on the couch and changed the channel. Justin kissed my neck. “I have to get home I'll talk to you later ok?” home. I've never even been to his house before. “Okay” I say sipping my smoothie. He crawled over the couch grabbing my cup he placed it on the table. “I wasn't done with that” I whine he grabbed my waist and made it so I was sitting on him. “Don't be mad at me” he says kissing my jaw. “I'm not I'm still just tired” he looked at me not believing. “Go home” I kiss him again and he kisses me harder. “I Don't want you to be in trouble” I say between kisses. He laughed “You have nothing to worry about with that” he pulled me to the side laying me on the couch with a kiss. He stepped off the couch and smiled “I'll see you later” he left and i felt curious. I took a few sips of my smoothie and brought it up stairs with me. If Saras known these guys for so long she has to have some paperwork of some kinds letters perhaps. In her room I looked in her closet. I picked a random box which held files. I went through them repeating the same word “Anderson, Anderson” The box was useless. I grabbed another box which had a book in it. I grabbed it a flipped through the pages.

1-4-2002 Freina  s still ill, she refuses to go to a hospital and I don't blame her.  Jackson is still being a stick in the mud about it. I hope this baby is born healthy and has no enemies.

A half breed has never been born before.  I would pray but would that make things worst? I dont want to jinx myself but then again I want to do everything I can for this child, even though its not mine.

4-23-2004

 

Even if Freina is dead I Promised her I’d keep Justin safe. Hes cried to me over and over about his father but deep down he’s just scared

Scared that his son is stronger than him and he know the cult will be on his side and he will be all alone. And one day Jackson will be alone, one day Justin will have enough and end him

Either that, or a creature Jackson once crossed will have there revenge.

5-12-2006

Justin seems to be doing good.

His abilities seem to be the same but  his thirst for blood isn't so high as the others which makes things a little easier. Though again I dont if that's something to concerned about. He’s not the first vampire child Iv’ e looked after but obviously the first half breed. I

8-4-2008

 

Jason was found dead . Torn into pieces by a wolf pack new to the area. Although it's  rude and reckless thing to do, I’m so glad. Justin is still..dealing.

I went to personally thank them, telling the alpha of Jackson's history and he seemed to understand. I believe that me and that pack will be long time friends, what's even more cute is that he has two sons around my grand daughters age. Oh how I miss her.

I shut the book. Those entries may have been small but it was a lot to take in. Justins a vampire?...and Jackson..I dont even know what to think about him..and Nick and Ethan was there father the one that killed Jackson? I suppose that makes sense...but where is there father...dead? Hadn’t Nick said something about that. Things like that dont exist. Things like that just dont exist in the real world. Yet then again there's actually such things as werewolves and Fairies? What had he meant..that day in the forest before he died. These are so Twilight flashbacks Jesus. I'm not too shocked though, it didn't make much sense for him to be like that with his blue eyes and his no appetite even when we were on the hammock together. The murders. They were for him to feed. Sara wouldn't have allowed it though. Would she? I went through the box. There were old letters in a language I couldn't read along with random facts. A  graph on how the vampire body runs. I stood and marched out of the room grabbing my smoothie. I couldn’t stand being in that room anymore. Once down stairs I opened the freezer which was full of raw chicken and finally opened the fridge to notice the outline of a small square. I pushed it and the lid of the caprment fell. Small vials of a red liquid were snapped into it. I grabbed one and opened it. I poured some on my finger and stuck it in my mouth. Blood Guessin these were snacks for Justin. I took a big gulp of my smoothie,mshut

 the fridge and walked back upstairs. Should I ask Sara about this or Justin? I hadn't gotten a call from Amber and I wondered if I should call her. I sighed and focused on watching T.V but I was growing impatient as it hit 6 Sara wasn't here. As I was halfway down the staircase the front door opened and Justin walked in. Shit! I ran up stairs and into my room. I crawled into my bed sitting on the vile. I was going to dump it in the sink but I didn't have time when the door opened. Justin stood in the doorway for a minute “What are you doing?”

“Thinking..come here” I say holding out my hand. “Your thinking in the dark?” he didn't move. I could tell he found this suspicious. I left my spot and walked to him. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my waist forgetting what he thought. “Justin..if you had the chance to bite me would you…” he was at the bed with the vile in his hands less then a second. Why’d I say that!? I flicked on the light as the door slammed shut. I jumped. Justin was in front of me again. “Where did you find this?” he looked angry. “In the kitchen...I'm sorry” I say.

He let his forehead fall against mine. “Dont be..I'm sorry” I glanced up. “You dont have anything to be sorry about” he lifted his head glaring at me. “You wouldn't understand, you know nothing” he walked past me.

“How can you say that? I may be human but I'm not stupid!” I yell walking after him. “You need to not dig your nose into things” he glares turning around. “What did you think was gonna happen?! After you promised saying you'd explain soon were you just gonna keep saying that! If you didn't want me to know you shouldn't have invited me to skip with you that day and you shouldn't have even talked to me just be an ass like your being now!”

“Your right maybe I should of. But I thought you were different cause when you heard those rumors that I killed Robbie you didn't even think twice about it!”

“Right and cause Im totally just a normal fashion boy crazy girl I should have followed Nick around right? And I did but after I was almost attacked by a vampire his pack came..that's when I learned about werewolves and then he left! He left in wolf form and I haven't heard or seen him sense.. But” thats all I could say before Justin's lips were on mine. I winced as he slammed me against a wall, me still confused. He's never kissed me this hard or passionate, I thought he hated me. “Your so annoying talking about other guys” he glares at me. I smile “Are you jealous or you just being mad and failing?” he glared at me his fingers digging into my thighs. “Why do you have to be so difficult, I could just leave you now and walk away but no I fucking cant! Cause when you'll leave you'll be upset and I hate that and then Nick or some fucker will cheer you up and you'll get a little crush for him and what can I do? say how much I loved you? You would probably just look all sad and say I'm sorry and then if I killed myself you'd take it all back” he stared at me panting. A tear ran down my cheek, his anger faded. He kissed me lightly and hugged me. Pulling me away from the wall. “Please dont leave” I hear my voice crack. He set me on my bed and sat on me resting his head against mine. “I wont..I promise”  I sniffed. “I dont believe you..” I say quietly. He sighed “You will soon enough..” he rolled on his side pulling me with him. I cried but I didn't really know why. “Tell me something I dont know…” I whisper. He sighed “My father is dead, he died when I was a kid, Nicks father took care of that”

I bit my lip. “I know..I read Sara jurnole about you..I’m sorry”  he looked at me as we laid side by side. “Dont be, it's better this way”  After some silence I bring up another thing I found out.

“Your a half breed?..” he smiled “The first to be exact, no one treats me differently though some people are apparently scared of me, acting like humans” he scoffs. I shut my eyes. “People from the parties live with you?” I ask. “No. I wouldn't stay calm enough to have them and I dont want to be a babysitter. I have 10 other people my age living with me and I know can trust them” I nodded my head, he lives like Nick. “Saras here, come on” he stood, me sliding off his chest. I stayed sitting. “Kiss me” I demand grabbing his hand. He tilted his head. “You never no, my fangs could come out and I could bite you”

“Show me” I say with a smile. He sat in front in front of me and kissed me softly. He leaned back and opened his mouth a rather sharp tooth on either side of his front teeth slid down. “Thats cool” I say touching them” he grabbed my hand. “Dont get carried away..remember you smell..delicious” I nodded my head. He grinned pulling me off the bed. He lifted me off my feet and we were down stairs on the couch before I could blink. Sara was just closing the door and looked at as wide eyed. “She figured it out” he says wrapping his arms tight around me. She gave me a sad look. “How did you?”

“I read your journal. The entries were really short but they were enough. And I found the vials in the fridge” I add flicking Justin's bangs up. She sat by us. “I'm sorry you found this out but it's true. Things in stories that we once believed didn't exist accept in fairytales do actually exist, but you know that” she says with a small smile. I nod. Sara looked at me kindly. “I'll tell you as much as you should know” she paused for a minute perhaps collecting what she really wanted to tell me. “For starters what you saw in the forest, those were Newborns, forgotten. Newborns are vampires that are newly bitten and learning the ropes of being a vampire. The Vampires that bit them are there creators, there masters. They have complete control over there newborns but some only turn them for fun and leave them behind. So they go searching blood as there wanting for it gets higher and higher. Some newborns can live without a master but most dont. The newborns are usually taking care of by  Werewolves if not Purebloods. Purebloods are vampires that were born vampires. There parents were vampires and so on. It's illegal to kill them.. says their governments..laws for vampires and so far there are still true. Now for Nick, he is a Werewolf. He turned at age 16 just like everyone other werewolf. Some of them dont know that there destined to become one cause there parents dont tell them but that wasn't the case for Nick sense he was already aware about the pack, thankfully. And no they dont turn in the moonlight” she says that last part with a smile.

I smile back “What about me? The..Newborn in the forest, the first one said a word and it was fairy” Sara thought for a moment. “Your only part Fairy cause of your father the other half of you is mermaid which you get from my side of the family and obviously your mom. Being any part of fairy and mermaid not helping is very dangerous. Most fairies are extinct if not 50 or less left around the world. The reason is Vampires. I admit there blood is very strong to vampires who have a hard time controlling themselves around it. This causes many people to be mistaken that they've found their mate. As for Mermaids they like to live in secret, many dont come out of the water to be human and most are to scared”

I try my best to wrap my head around all of what she just said. This is a lot to take in and I have no idea what to say. I mean, yeah wouldn't it be a little girl's dream to learn thats shes a mermaid? But I'm not a little girl and to  really figure out that I'm not even human is so bizarre.

“With Justin it's still complicated. With his father once being a vampire and his mother human there's no telling what may happen, he still has regular powers but no one knows what could happen” I let that run in my head. I was about to ask something but Justin pulled my chin up so I was looking straight up at him. “Enough questions today I dont want you stressed” I smile “Im not stressed” he sighed holding me pinned to him like a teddy bear. I wanted to ask about his parents but I decided I’d ask Sara once it we were alone.

Chapter 7 Pieces of my Puzzle

 

Things seemed so different now.  I've learned so many things, I guess moving here really was all worth it. Maybe things are happening a little two fast.no... nonsense. I want to be where I am with Justin. I want him. I feel like I'm taking this pretty well.. I feel like its a normal thing cause of all the books I read. As soon as Sarah had gone to bed Justin took me to his home. I feel..I dont know. Its like im not in my world anymore. I feel so ordinary being human like that's an old trend. “Amanda” I snapped back into focus. “What? I ask. He glanced at me. “You staring off like that is making me stress, what are you thinking about?” I smile. “Nothing really I promise” he sighed. I could tell he didn't believe me for a second. Once we stopped at a stop sign I unbuckled my seat belt and smashed my lips on his. He grabbed the back of my head and kissed me back with a laugh. The car behind us honked and I sat back down. Justin stepped all the way down on the gas pedal and we sped laughing. When we got to the house all the guys were in a big mob yelling.  Again dejavu, I feel like Im meeting Nicks friends..no Pack all over again. “Jesus…” Justin got out and was gone in a blink grabbing a guy sitting on another he threw him into a picnic table “Get a fucking hold of yourself Devin” the guy Devin glared standing “Not my fault he's such a loudmouth never learning to keep his mouth shut!” Justin was obviously protective of the boy who stood awkwardly with his head down. Justin hissed his fangs out. I slammed my door shut signaling ,y presence. 11 heads turned at me. I walked over and smiled at the shy boy his lip was busted and he looked at me confused. “Hey..you ok..?” he stared at me wide eyed. “Dont be so nervous Peter this is Amanda she won't hurt you” Justin spoke softly. Peter turned and walked away. I yelped as I was spun around. “So this is why you've been gone I knew it wasn't just for Sara! He held me like a toddler with outstretched arms. “Wow your strong” I say with a nervous laugh. He laughed setting me down. I turned around a guy was in my face. His eyes were red. The guy that had spun me around yanked me back. “Im Noah this is Sid.. he's new as you can see he's not exactly...tamed” he says. I smile “How old are you Noah?” he raised an eyebrow “ I was turned when I was 24 but Im 36” he says with a wink. “You dog. I bet your a natural with all the ladies” he smirked. I walked back to Justin who was glancing back and forth at us with his arms crossed with a blunt look. I push his face together. “Your jealous” I sing. He pulled my hands off and flashed me his fangs. I smiled and he frowned “Your suppose to be scared...” he says I laugh kissing his cheek. “Your funny. Show me around would you Noah?”

“Sure thing princess” Justin must trust him because he didn't stop us from walking away. The house was huge on the inside. Everyone else was running around causing chaos. “Dont worry Amanda your safe here. Everyone has their own room and bathroom. We have a diet of human blood yes but were well tamed drinking out of blood bags.” he lead me into a kitchen and handed me a beer. I took it and took a big swig. “So how do you and Justin know each other?” he took a swig of his red beer leaning against the kitchen sink. “We've been friends for a while.. we were friends when I was still human. Justin and I had lived next to each other for a few years and we had hanged out. His parents were always a little cautious but one day when I was l climbing a tree I fell and cut my knee bad. Justin sat next to me and wiped of the blood. Telling me see not that bad. His eyes kinda turned though his fangs grew and I didn't feel scared I was just curious” he explains with a shrug “So we've been friends ever since.” I smile “Even after you got bitten..” he sighed. “Yea, I was at a wrong place at the wrong time. A few newbies of vampires found me, the guy that bit me didn't seem all to worried he could have taken me sense he was my creator but he left” I frown “Im sorry..” he smiled taking a swig of his beer. “Dont be. If I were not turned I wouldn't be closer to Justin and living here with new friends” I smile. “So you guys are pretty close then that's good” he shook his head. “When we were in seventh grade. Justin disappeared, I never saw him anymore his mother was dead then,Jackson was gone to. With a little curiosity and the help of Sara we found out people were testing on Justin and his father was helping them. I wished I never walked into that room. Thats an image that stays in a kids mind forever...you could hear him screaming as soon as you walked into that building.” he shook his head. He smiled at my face of horror. “Dont worry princess he's fine now. He has a few bad dreams here and there but he's been doing pretty good.” I couldn't speak. How could his father just have stood there?! Noah hugged me. I sniffed realizing I was crying “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you”. After I was turned we grabbed a few extra friends and started a.. cult. Jackson left ..the coward that he is. We dont know where he is but dont worry...Jesus I should stop talking” he leans away. “No! I'm so glad you told me.” he smiled wiping my eyes. “Enough stories for today hm?” he put his arm around me as I grabbed my beer. He had that same type of safe warm feeling that Nick had. I sipped my beer. As soon as I walked in the living room I was snatched with my head lifted. Justin was peering in my eyes. “You've been crying” he says “You made me spill my beer..” I say staring at the bottle spilling out brown light liquid. He grabbed my face again. “Amanda”

“Its might fault Justin I shouldn't have told her some things” says Noah. “I'm fine I was just sad” I say. Justin's sighed the next thing I knew I was on his lap outside. “What did he tell you?” I smile shaking my head. “I was just sad no big deal” I say leaning against him. “Amanda..” I sigh kissing his jaw. “I dont want to talk about it..please” he wrapped his arms around me and stayed quiet. The only thing I could hear was me breathing and the frogs.

The weekend took so long to pass I swear it's been days. Now that it's monday I wished for that sunday back. I haven't seen Amber all day yet I know she’s here. She has no reason not to be. I found her at her locker. She looked wide eyed at me. “Oh hi”

“Hi..” I say glaring at her. “Are you gonna keep being an ass of a friend and ignoring me or are you actually gonna talk to me?” she looked down.”Um thing is Amanda...why dont we go somewhere. I dont want to talk about it here” I nodded. Whatever it was had to be serious. Was it about the party? or her mom? I hope she didn't know. Is that a bad thing to want? I sighed “Ok lets go”

We drove to a local cafe. After we ordered are drinks I raised my eyebrows waiting. She bit her lip. “Well look I dont know but I kinda got this feeling or memory at the party that I kissed you” she says “Yea and you did...twice”  I add. Her face reddened. “Oh god what'd I say!” I shrugged my shoulders. “You said that it was fine, that friends do it all the time and you know what? it's not like I hated it. It was fine we were both drunk” I say shrugging. She looked away. “Yea thing is..I dont have a crush on Parker. I dont know. I think... I kinda like you?.. but maybe I really just like girls” she covered her face. I smile “ I dont mind. You know I am kinda seeing Justin though” she sighed “I know! I feel bad.” I smile Just has our drinks come. “Dont worry about it there are a bunch of pretty girls out there I bet you'd love” I say once the waitress leaves. She smiles. “I dont know.. When you guys dropped me off my mom wasn't home. She's acting all weird I'm getting suspicious” I sigh. “I dont know.. try searching through her purse maybe” she nodded. We kept chatting and finished our drinks in time to get back to school. The day finished. After cheer practice I grumbled as my feet were practically dead. Justin said he had something at home to deal with. The first thing I noticed before I even parked was that the front door was open. I left my bags in the car and ran for the door. Peering in the whole place was destroyed. Furniture upside down glass shattered the T.V on the floor droplets of blood splattered in one spot. “Sara!” I searched the house it was a total mess up stairs to. I ran into Saras room the boxes were missing. I felt so panicked I didnt no what to do. I called 911 but the thought of Vampires settled in so of course I had to explain who I was looking for. “911 whats your emergency?”

“Hi no emergency. I'm just wondering my grandma Sara Minskey, she works at the hospital do you know if she's in?”

“Sorry Ma’am we've left messages for her she hasn't been in all day” I bite my lip. “Ok thanks” I hung up and fell to my knees. I ran my fingers through my hair and called Justin as it rang for the third time I started jumping up and down. “Justin!” I whine angry. I groaned as it went to voicemail. “Justin! Saras missing! I called the hospital or whatever and they say she's gone when I got home the door was open and the house is a total wreck and there's blood on the floor. Call me!” I hung up crying. God I seem to be crying a lot. I called three more times. What the hell could be so important that he's not answering his phone?! I walked back down stairs and grabbed a coke from the fridge. I dont understand I dont even no what theory to explain to myself?! My grandma could be dead! But how there's blood this doesn't seem like a human would do unless there was many people. I went back up stairs and sipped my coke in my room. I could call Amber but its not like I can deal with explaining to her besides the only thing she could probably do is just scream. I sighed crying more. I felt so helpless waiting. As the sun started going down I felt so helpless. “Amanda!” I lifted my head Justin was in front of me with a blur my drink on the ground. “What with you and making me drop my drinks!” I cry. I felt so weak I felt like I wasn't me that there was this crying pathetic girl that takes over my body every time something goes wrong. He pulled me to him. “Justin I can't get answers..” my vision was blurry with tears. “I'm sorry Amanda. I left my phone in my room, we went hunting in the woods. I’m so sorry.. listen to me will find sara I promise”

“You can't promise anything she's probably in a basement dying!” I yell. He wiped my tears picking me up. I felt like a small child. He kissed me. “Get on my back” I jumped on his back and tightened my legs around his waist. “Go” he dashed outside. Everything was such a blur it was like a wind storm.  It was faster then any car could go. I kept waiting for when he would trip and hit the ground but he didn't. I kept my head down as the air stabbed my skin.We were there less then 15 minutes. I clasped as soon as he set me down but fell right in his arms. My head spun. “Ow..” I say closing my eyes. “Im sorry” he picked me up bridal style. Half the cult dashed out side. “What happened?” asked luke “Saras missing, the house is turned upside down” he says. “Her notes, diary entries.. there gone to” Noah bit his lip “We’ll need trackers Justin not like we have the best scent for it” Justin sighed. He must mean the werewolves. “Go inside..Peter,John watch her”

“I'll watch her” Devin says with a smile. “Not now. Peter, John” he kissed my cheek and pushed me forward to Noah. In a blink he was gone with the rest. “Dont worry Amanda will have fun” I couldn't smile. “I think she's sick..”says Peter. Noah picked me up and dropped me on the sofa inside. I stayed in the house the whole time. Devin showed up with a bag. “I got some clothes..” he says staring at me. Part of me wanted to accept it as a nice gesture but the fact he was touching my clothes. Noah grabbed the bag. “Guard outside Devin let me know if there coming back”  Devin glanced at him then back to me before leaving. I was glad when Noah and Peter left me alone. I took a shower and changed into comfy clothes. Sara are we just wasting time? Am I wasting time?...I felt like crying again I just wanted to sleep and for things to be the way they were yesterday. I got my wish. I had fallen asleep only I was on Justins bed still in the same clothes. Shit. it was black out. I walked down stairs and heard voices. I walked down stairs and the number of people seemed to have doubled. Nick smiled at me “How you holding up..” he says. I stood there. The day in the closet hit me. How'd I forget about that? I stared at him. This was weird, I wanted to hug him, to kiss him to run my finger through his hair but instead I walked away to the kitchen. I opened there fridge which had a gallon of blood and a few water bottles. A box of regular looking coke was at the bottom and I grabbed one. “Amanda lets talk?” his face looked defeated. “You know what Nick.. before I would have liked to talk, before I would have sat down and listened but..I really dont want to talk to you..as a matter of fact I dont want to see you” I walked away coke in hand. Nick followed me and I stood by Justin. “Why dont you go ahead and confess your love for her pooch” Devin smirked.  A growl came from Nick. Justin hugged me from behind. I felt calm. “Devin these wolves are doing us a favor lets not blow it” he says. “Thankyou Justin” says a boy stepping up. He smiled at me. “Your Blue..” I say. He smiled “Yeah, Names Aidan. I never realized that I'm actually soft thanks to you” the cult seemed confused. “You two know each other?” Justin whispers “Yea my first night here wolves came I thought it was a great sight there were all so pretty. I thought it was awesome when you walked up to me” The pack smiled but the cult looked slightly disgusted. Aidan winked “My pleasure”

“Keep winking” Justin growls. Aidan raised his hands in surrender. I smile. I grabbed Justin's hand and pulled him away to the kitchen. “ They think they're so cute trying to flirt with you” he says. I hand him a beer. “ Justin remember why there here and remember whatever happens I'm still with you” I say sitting on the counter. “Oh really? What would happen if I cheated on you or bit you?” I flicked his hair. “If you cheated on me 50/50 chance I'd kill myself and if you bit me and that involved with turning me I wouldn't really mind..” I glanced at him. “That's not happening” he says laying his lips on my cheek. “Suicide or both?”

“Both” I laugh “Not fair this is literally a Edward Bella moment. She wants to be bitten because she want to spend the rest of her life with Edward and she doesn't want to get old and so do I” Justin raised an eyebrow “So?”

“So?! Are you gonna wanna go out with me when I'm 80?!” he smiled “Who says we're dating?” I stick my tongue out “Fine I'll just ask out Aidan” I say climbing off the counter “Nick do you wanna go ou-” Justin grabbed me and slammed me against the wall. “Asshole! Admit you are dating me!”

“No shit! Your so annoying!” he glares. I raise an eyebrow “Ok then” I walked around him and walked out of the kitchen. “Amanda” Justin warns I went up a staircase and closed the door locking it inside. He walked in just as easily closing it behind him. “Get out” I say regaining my composure. “This is my room” he says. “It was your room and now I'm claiming it so...bye” I say waving my hand. He turned off the light and tackled me. “No! This is my bed I want to sleep by myself! Im single right now!” I yell diggin my face in a pillow. “You dont want to sleep alone and your not single cause were still dating”

“No!” I blurt lifting my head. “I'm breaking up with you..” he stood and crawled off the bed. “NO!” I tackled him pulling him back on the bed. “I change my mind you can't leave your mine!” I hiss sitting on his stomach. “Really?I'm not so sure anymore” he says. I could tell he was smiling. “Your an asshole you can't leave cause..yea your mine and I love you so no” I cover his lips realising Id just said. “Yea..dont respond to that” as I blinked I was on my back with Justin hovering me. “ I love you” Those words seem pretty strange. I nod pulling his face down to kiss me. His lips were warm and passionate. I loved them. I loved him. I couldn't think of what I would do if I had to leave him or if he died. I have to stop thinking. Justin pulled away and I frowned “Do you think there cute?..” “Who?!” I yell I wanting his lips back. “Nick and Aiden” I sigh “There cute. But I dont want them I want you and I'll always want you like I'll always love you. If they have any interest in me they should have gotten to me quicker.. Now kiss me” Justin smashed his lips back on mine with no hesitation. He pulled away again I groaned. “I have to go eat before I bite you” I was going to protest but he was out the door. I sighed. Checking my phone I didn't have any miss calls. “It's not the time for worrying Amanda your safe just sleep on it” I tell myself. I laid back down and tried to sleep. And sleep I did.

“Ok, we sniffed around our borders and yours, we found a trail leading east to an abandoned farm built in 1823” says a man apart of the pack. We were all seated around a large circular table. I sat between Justin and Noah. “And?” asked Noah. the boy shrugged his shoulder. “Smelled like vinegar we didn't go in sense it was just me and David” I glanced at Noah. “Omegas” he whispers. I nod. “Vinegar..they or he must be covering their tracks knowing we'd ask you for help”

“I want to go there today so I have a keen eye, then will all go tonight. Noah you'll stay with Amanda”  Noah opened his mouth to protest but I beat him to it. “That's not fair! Noah's stuck watching me which means he cant help and what am I supposed to do just sit here while Saras possibly dying!” Justin frowned “That's exactly what your suppose to do and Noah is helping..helping me with find Sara”

“Oh really what's gonna happen if you find Sara? and who ever took her comes here? Whatever who or they wants something with my family like my mom...dont you think it's odd just to say she scared of the dark?” everyone was quiet for a minute.

“Think about it Justin she does have a point and if she does come with us she’ll be more protected.”

“Do I have to remind you that she's still human? You can smell her down the block Noah!” I winced. Noah sighed. “Yea not like your gonna do anything about that..” Justin hissed his fangs out. “Quit it he has a point” I say he glared at me. “Jesus what difference does it make?! She might actually be some use” Nick was thrown into the wall with a bang. His pack jumped up with growls. “Stop it Justin he has a point! Sitting her makes me feel so useless!” he turned. “What do you expect your just human!” he snaps. Everyone stops. Justin face falls. “Amanda…”I turn and hurry outside. I felt like I had just been slapped. I'm not useless I'm smart and I'll find sara in my own or something. “Amanda dont go will take you I promise!” yells Noah. “It's not about me going it's about me going home” I crawled in the car and stuck the key in the ignition. “Amanda Im serious Im worried about Justin he stormed out” his face was full of worry. “He's made it clear Noah I dont know but I need to not be here iI want to go home I dont care” he dashed back before I had the time to run over his feet. I sped home and I was happy to. I cant believe Justin said that to me I felt so embarrassed. I sighed my head hurt. When I was in town it was fine it was all normal people were still out and most of the slush was gone. When I got home it was same as when I left it all destroyed. I was about to sit on the couch when I was slammed into the wall. My face was two inches from a man with red eyes his fangs exposed. “I wondered who else was living here” he says. I furrowed my brows. “Well you obviously didn't stay to find out cause I was here yesterday” he smiled. “You seem rather calm.. I'm guessing you didn't call the police then”

“No I didn't” he smiled sniffing me. “You smell very nice” he licked his lips. “Whatd you do with Sara!” I demand. He smiled laughing. “You are quite the fiesty one” he says stepping back. I make a face. “I dont care I want Sare is she alive?”

“Course she's alive! It would be such a burden if we killed her” my face falls. “What do you mean a burden?”

“She's smart dear one. Amanda is it? It's not like any vampire would kill her your grandma knows many things that I dont even know and Im 102 years old besides we believe shes part fairy and no matter how much her blood smells she has special powers that can help us out in times of need” he explains making himself cozy on the couch. Funny he looked like he was in his mid twenties. He stared at me. “What should I do with you..a snack?” I flipped him off. “Fuck you I want Sara I'll give you anything just for her to be here and safe” I was immediately against the wall again. His face an inch from mine. “You'd do anything? Even give me your blood give me all of you become like us?” his eyes were so intimidating. “Yes as long as my grandma is returned here alive unharmed and never touched again by you or your men” He grabbed my chin and I winced. “Really?”

“Im 100 percent positive” I say looking him in the eye. He sighed caressing my cheek. “Your interesting...but a bad liar” I sigh. I'm completely positive I want my grandma back alive whether I see her again or not besides it wasn't like this guy wasn't hot. I kissed him and he leaned back laughing. “This is fun! How do I know this isn't a set up..stalling?”  

“Well I would let you bite me know but I have friends they'll smell it and follow us so?” he smiled “I would love to take you up on this offer but to bad your furry friends are here” before I had time to think I was outside in a choke hold my head to the side. The cult and Nicks pack were all in a semicircle. “Jessie let her go!” Jessie laughed. Licking my neck. John and Noah ran forward but once Jessie's teeth touch my skin they skid to a stop. “Careful, we dont want to be stupid” says a vampire walking out of the house. I hadn't even noticed him. “What do you want?” asked Noah. “There's that question again I just love it. What do you purpose..not like I need this yet it would be nice. I mean her blood is quite..different.” I glared at him. Justin stepped up. “Take me Jessie”

“What No Bite me! Take me instead!” I kicked my legs Jessie didn't even move. He tilted his head. “Imagine what I would get if I brought you to the council! I love it” he threw me aside and Justin was grabbed by two vampires. “Stop I told you you could take me!” I yell. “Shut up! Choosing you over the half breed would be a total lost! I can get a girls blood any day and who says I wont get a drink of your blood one day” he winked at me and turned to Justin who was on his knees. The pack and cult were full of grows as they stood ready to pounce. Jessie punched Justin and a crack

sounded. “Stop it!” I jumped off the snow only to be kicked landing 3 yards. I coughed blood spitting out. It was Devin. Devin went to kick me again but was thrown hitting the porch. “Enough of this, you have Justin we want Sara as well!” Noah stood above me. Jessie's sighed. “Fine..she'll be here tonight”

“Unharmed!” John shouts. Jessie glared at him and bowed mockingly. “Yes cause I dare hurt Sara Carter..Family and friend to all” he snorted he was gone and his men behind him. I painted my stomach hurt and I was so cold. “So cold…” Noah scooped me up. A blanket was put on me and that's all I remember. When I woke up it was daylight I was in Justin's room and I hoped that it was all a dream till I saw Parker leaning against the doorway. “I hate you…” I whine. He grinned appearing on the end of the bed. “We wrapped up your stomach you have two broken ribs and breakfast is cooking” I glanced down lifting my shirt my stomach was wrapped. I glanced up tilting my head. “You dont have anything that I haven't seen before” I threw my pillow at him. “So what else is knew...Justin” Parker looked sad. “We got the pack looking for him will find him we have to”

“Why?” my voice sounded like I was gonna cry I didn't want to know but I had to. Parker shook his head. “Testing Amanda and Im not just saying some nice blood testing. You no how many doctors  would kill to know how Justin operates. He doesn't have the same abilities that we have Amanda and when the wrong people find out they can use him for worse things” I blinked tears falling. “Im sorry…” he says. I hugged my knees to my chest. This is terrible to relive all those terrible things he had to live with all for me that was a terrible trade! He sighed. “Dont cry please..Saras here come on” I could tell me crying made him feel awkward as he pulled me up and out of the room. When I got down stairs Sara was on the couch with a blanket I broke down and threw myself at her like a toddler. I've never cried so much it was like every emotion thing in my life was stirred up and now the bowls broken. Jessie was right Sara was unharmed and turns out anyone that walked within a three foot radius of here was slaughtered. “I still dont understand how your so respected” I say  she shrugged her shoulders. “Me to. I've studied,done favors and made a lot of friends over the years I've never even been dragged” she says with a chuckle. “They kidnapped you though” she laughed. “Honey I know Jesse his men drove me to the house for pete sake” I grinned. that's good that at least she's safe but that's not the same for Justin. I love him so much and I miss him I can't just do nothing. I Agreed to stay inside as the cult and pack kept looking for clues to his whereabouts. Weeks had past and I could barely take it. At another meeting we finally got some where. “Truth is we all Know where he could be but we need more people even if we got there we'd be attacked and force to retreat” says C.J Noah sighed rubbing his face. “I want a better visual we need someone on the inside” everyone was quiet it was like they were giving up I had an idea but I needed to have Noah alone. As I lead him to my room he finally questioned me when I closed my door. “Should uh.. I be concerned?” I pulled him and made him sit by me on my bed. “Not exactly but yes you can. Um hear me out ok? I can't just sit here and do nothing! So what if you turned me and- his eyes widened “And! I yell pointing to him. “I dye my hair and Sara she could put a totem on me sense my scent will be the same I dont know I heard her talking about it and-Amanda..you're asking me to take your human self away from you this Isn't a joke” I sighed furrowing my brow. “Oh yes I just thought you no pfft cause your so cute I wondered what if would be like to a vampire right and this capture is so cool right! Fuck you” I say laying down. He sighs. “ Even if I turned you and if we found him he would kill me” “ I wouldn't let him though” I say pointing his finger at him. He sucked in his cheeks. “Why me..” What do you mean why m- I mean why ask me to bite you why not John or Jay?” I sigh “Cause Justin trusts you and I like you the most out of everyone here and I know there's bigger chance that you'll do it then anyone else here” he smirked. “You do realize turning you isn't just a one day thing right?  When I bite you you'll wish your dead” I smile “Great! Then you should bite me now” he shook his head. “Amanda honestly I wouldn't mind biting you, but I can't. We can find Justin. you're doing us good just staying here” I sighed. “Oh really how good is that going for you like CJ said you get there then what its not like you can scope the place if they were humans obviously yea this would be easier but there not, without someone on the inside you cant do shit and if you get there you are just going to have to retreat, and then what?” he sighed. “If we need more people we can get more people it's not like we dont have more family” definitely twilight moment. I shake my head. “What do you have to loose Noah do this for me” he glares at me. “For one I have you to lose and myself if Justin finds out about it and obviously he will..if I bite you I'll be your creator which means you have to listen to me and for the first few weeks you'll be feeding off of my blood. Hows Justin gonna take that?” he tilted his head. I sighed even if Noah was my creator yea he won't be so thrilled but he'll

probably be happier that its Noah...or not but it's either me turning or Justin being tested on and suffering. If Noah wont turn me now then I have to but my self in a state that he or someone will have to turn me cause I'll be dead. So what do I stap or like shoot myself? I'll have to think about it. “Ok..if you won't do it then I'll have to ask someone else” he smirked “oh really like anyone would under my orders..until Justin returns Im the boss” I huff. “Just..I need this Noah. I dont care if it hurts what chance to we really have of getting him back?” he rolls his eyes. “One of us will get a totem and go” I shake my head as he stands. “No they know your faces just let me go!” “I'm done with this conversation” has gone before I can say more. Well that didn't work and probably won't. He's right no one else will do it and if I'm correct they'll probably tell Noah Im asking. I need to find someone else.

3 weeks have passed. I've decided to stick with the idea of finding someone else someone that is not friends with Jessie or our cult. You can tell Noah thinks I'm over the idea of being turned because he's stopped glancing at me or asking where I plan on going. Tonight I've told him that I'm going to a club not a drinking club a lot of people in my school hang out there and I'm going with Amber and of course Noah allowed me only he scent CJ with me who would be hiding. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't like CJ was dumb. As Amber being my best friend I knew it was the right thing to tell her. Her reactions were “Oh my god! And “# Twilight” she looked all giddy. “Oh my gosh! So what's your plan on getting him back?” she slurps her coke staring at me. I glanced at CJ who was smirking at a girl. I have to go soon. I Know I can't trust her in telling her my plan not now. “Amber listen I have to go you won't see me for a few days but believe me everything is fine” I hugged her as sadness covered her face. “Amanda Im so confused where are you going?” I smile. “Dont worry. See that man?” I ask pointing to CJ who was to busy flirting. “Yea..” she says quietly. “That's CJ I need you to keep him hear as long as you can..I promise I'll be back soon” I kissed her cheek and ran. I only have so long to when CJ will stop smelling my scent or will he ever notice? I dont even know where I'm running but I need to find someone anyone. I ran full speed down the sidewalk people glancing at me. The cold air burned my cheek and my lungs but I dont care. I turned on west avenue and kept running, there has to be vampires around here somewhere and I know I'm crazy for trying to find one. Knowing that there all not kind or whatever. I glance at a bar and a few alleyways I dont even know where I am anywhere and CJ will be here soon. I ran to a trash can and grabbed the top half of a broken beer bottle. “If I can't find them have them come to me..” I slit my wrist wincing as blood dripped. I kept walking down the street I need a vampire to come and not CJ which I know I just made the chance greater of him finding me. My phone buzzes. Its Amber.

 

Amber: I told him you went to the bathroom that was like 5 minutes ago I think he's catching on he's calling someone! 8:43pm

Me: Dont worry! Thank You for keeping him there as long as you did I have to go. 8:44pm

 

I stuffed my phone back in my pocket just as did I felt a breath on my neck. I spun around just as someone grabbed my arm there was about five vampires in front of me and afence behind me. There eyes glowed. “Lost little bitch? why dont you cry” they all laughed. They were older maybe in their early thirties. From what my eyes could see. I shook off my fear and snapped. “Shut up I need a favor” they laughed again pushing each other. One in front stepped up his face in inch from mine. “What can me and my friend do for you?” he licked his lips. “Hurry up boss her blood just calling us” “Yea Lance!” this lance growled. I sighed thinking if everything I know about them from these few seconds.

 

1. There hungry
2. There's 5 of them
3. This big guy must be there leader sense they take a step back
4. The big guys name is lance.
5. His eyes are this green emerald color
6. CJ coming.

I glance down the street before glancing at him again. “Look my boyfriend was taking by a ma-Vampire named Jessie. To get to the point I need one  

of you to turn me! I need to get to there base to save them if I have a special totem on me my scent will be canceled and if I change my appearance they won't waste taking a second glance at me.” I said all of this as he spun a strand of my hair around his hand. They all laughed “Totem huh? You know that's only the works of a Fairy?” i sighed irritated “Yes Im part fairy never mind that turn me now someone is coming for me! If you do this I'll be yours trust me!” my heart quickened as I spotted CJ. the four were a blur rushing to him as this Lance guy stared at me. He smiled. “Let's chat” he snached me. And ran. Noah is gonna be pissed.

Lance stopped and dropped me at a breaking down shed but the lights were still on. He made himself cozy at a wooden table and sat on a stool. As I sat across from him his green eyes stared at me. “How much do you actually no about being turned?” I shrugged my shoulders “That it hurts and if you did turn me you'd be my creator and that I'd have to drink your blood” he smirked. “You do realise that if I turn you I have complete control of you for example if you wanted to leave with your love I could simply make you stay by one command, and you couldn't even leave for the thirst of my blood”

“Yes but that's only for a few weeks” he nods his head he hasn't blinked once, it's not that I'm creeped out Im just cold. “Let's make a deal...if I turn you, you get to be my toy, and even after this kid is rescued you stay with me”  I suck in my cheeks. His toy? What's the problem I'm always someone's toy. If I was to walk away he'd probably just kill me by means. I need to do this as fast as possible. “Ok, but you do no I'm the one that's going to rescue him” he nods his head. I gasped as I was now facing him on his lap as he sat on the table his feet on my chair. “Um…” I tried not to glance at his emerald green eyes. he tilted his head. “Deal?” he asks moving my hair behind my shoulder. “Deal and what are you doing?” he smirked. “I'm going to drink your blood and if you have a problem with that I wouldn't mind going to that farmers house, they lost their son it would be a shame if the women were to become a widow”

“You killed him…” I say. He smiled. “It was a group effort besides what's the  difference it's just another kid added to the missing list” I stared at him “Robbie? Those missing kids you killed them!” he sighed annoyed? “Like

I said it was a group effort but Ill make sure to not kill you deal?” I blinked It wasn't Justin it wasn't Nick it wasn't some serial killer human it was just a random Vampire in the area. “What are you? I mean I know what you are but like..What kind” I know that was obviously a stupid question and I expected him to laugh at me but he just gave me and irritated look “Enough questions” he grabbed the back of my head, his other hand on my back and  sank his fangs into my neck. It was as if I had just been bitten by a shark and 100 bees stung the wound. My screams were dimmed as he kept his hand on my mouth. Tears blurred my vision. It was painful, in the books I never imagined it to be this painful but it was. He pulled me closer to him and if he pulled me any close I was sure my back would break. He finally let go. He licked the bite and leaned back wiping his face “Your part fairy all right. I told you I wouldn't kill you but I'm not so sure” he mumbles wiping my eyes. I felt so tired now the world was suddenly so dizzy till my eyes met darkness.

When I woke up, I expected to be in my room but I wasn't. I groaned as images hit me. They were such a blur I could only make out some as voices filled my mind. Screams and cries along with chants and red till suddenly they were gone. Tears were streaming down my face and blurred my face as I cried aloud. My body felt numb and my head felt so heavy, Prickling covered my arms and legs like I rolled onto of a bunch of standing sewing needles. My mouth was parched and hot making me rub my lips along the cold floor. Cement covered the walls or at least I thought they did. Right then I wished I was anywhere else, I wished I was with Sara I wished I was with my mom I wished I was home, wherever that is. I suddenly felt agony in my arm as something was running along my side. The walls were moving and something was around my wrist as I cried. The burning continued and then stopped. “Please..” my voice sounded like a breath it sounded like it wasn't even mine. I felt myself be pulled to something as something wet met my lips. I sniffed it and finally sunk my teeth into it.

 

When I woke up again, I held my breath. My vision was more clear as i could now tell that im 1,in a cement room maybe a basement. 2 there's a silver metal door ,3 there's a  light bulb and 4, im laying on a twin mattress with a pink blanket over me. I lifted my arm but it didn't move. I tried again. I tried moving my fingers with the same result. I tried sitting up which i regret because i felt something snap and I Was down again tears brimming my eyes. I wiggled my toes and they moved. I moved my feel slightly and they moved. I was scared to move anything else. I held my left arm to my chest as the door rattled. I closed my eyes. I dont know how much that was gonna help but I prayed it would do something. The squeak of a dungeon door sounded footsteps following. I flinched when a hand touched my forehead. Damn it. I opened my eyes which met a pair of emerald green once. Lance sat criss crossed in front of me. “Good you're awake” he caressed my cheek and I flinched again. I didn't want him here or near me but there's something about him that's calming and that makes me uneasy. “What wrong with me” my eyes widened. was that my voice? My voice sounded to dull,dead. He was quiet for a minute. “I'm figuring that out” he pulled the sheet down and i grabbed it back. “Just lay down” he pulled me on my stomach and I felt a snap in my bag. “It hurts” hot tears ran down my face as I hugged my pillow. “I know, You might be having a reaction to something” he pulled the blanket and placed his hands on my bare back. I was expecting scream to cry out but I didn't. I felt warm. “What turama have you experience before, you turning might have stirred it up” His voice was deep yet something else that I could really pinpoint. “Just when I was kid I was raped and molested and all that, I've been through alot of fosters” i felt his hand run along my back and push down. He was quiet again then spoke “What happened that you moved in the first place”

“..My mom died” it felt weird saying that. Like my mind had almost forgot those words could be used in that order. “What do you remember about being turned?” I thought for a minute. “Nothing just being dragged somewhere and crying”  

“That was my fault I left you with the wrong person”

I wanted to ask more but I didn't want to push it. “Are there more of half breeds like me?”

“No. When fairies are turned they usually die are have to killed for there lust of power or blood”

“But I'm not like that” I argue

“You haven't been awake enough for me to tell, I've never met a species like you and neither have anyone of cult. What I know is you still breath which makes me wonder if your dead. You drink blood, mine only still you have a reaction to others blood I've wrote done all of it a book, I'll let you read it once you can actually stand”

“I feel better” he looked at me for the first time sens walking in here. He removed his hands from my back. “Prove it then” I rolled over on my back realizing I still couldn't move my left arm. I sat up without pain holding the blanket to my chest with my right hand. Lance grabbed my arm moving my wrist in circles. “Thankyou..” I felt weird saying it and I wondered if I really should be even saying it at all. “Your welcome” He didn't look at me as my arm started to wake up. I finally moved my finger and he let go as i held the blanket to my chest with both hands. “You know you dont have anything that I haven't seen before” I glared at him. “Where would my clothes happen to be?”

“I burned them” a small smile played on his lips. He actually didn't look scary when he smiled still sexy but not scary.

“You burned my clothes?” I ask raising an eyebrow he didn't answer he just stared at me. And as if called a girl walked in with clothes in her hands. “Hey you're awake you probably want these” she tossed them and they just hit my legs. “Thanks” I say as she turns, my voice sounded more like me. I glanced at Lance you rested his head on his arms which rested on his knees. I grabbed the clothes disappear under the blanket. “Why pink?” I ask grabbing th lace bra which was actually super cute. “Was the first blanket I saw, your also probably wondering why your in basement. Well this so far was to ensure that you and everyone would safe but really I don't know where else to put you”

“Well dont I feel charmed” I mutter. I curled a strand of hair behind my ear and I wondered how awful my face looked. I laid down and pulled up my shorts finally buttoning them and laying there. I pushed the blanket off me with a sigh. I was about to stand but I was debating against which way to stand. Finally Lance wrapped one arm around me and pulled me up. He let go and Immediately stumbled into him as everything was kind of fuzzy now. Lance scooped me up bride style and started walking. I felt slightly awkward being this close to him. I glanced his hair and ruffled it. “What do you do to it?!” i felt truly amazed how soft it was. He looked at me as if I was crazy. He was the quiet eh whole time as I put his hair in random styles. We finally reached a staircase  and then another. We walked into a room which was huge with red walls and hardwood flooring. “#FIftyShadesOfGray. I saw Lance smirk as he tossed me onto the bed. I sat up and watched him as he took his shirt off and walked toa dresser. Hello model. He grabbed a black shirt and walked back to the bed grabbing a watch off the nightstand. He had tattoos that covered his right arm and a few on his stomach. He had long scars on his back and I didn't realize I was touching them till he looked at me. I pulled my hand back “Um.. you dont have to tell me how you got them I was just curious” I say looking away. He continued to stare at me and My cheeks suddenly felt really hot. He grabbed me by arm and pulled me to him. “Amanda your a very distracting being” I felt his breath against my ear and I felt frozen, Like I couldn't move. He tilted my head and bit me hugging my body closer to him. It didn't hurt nearly as much as I remembered it. I could smell the scent of my blood and it didn't smell coppery as I had remembered it, but the scent of Lance still canceled out most smells. He drank till every in my line of sight seemed a little fuzzy. He moaned slightly letting my neck go he licked the bite twice which sent shivers down my spine. “Your delicious” his voice was deep and seductive.  I opened my mouth but no words came out. “Stay in this room I'll be back soon” he pulled on his shirt and left, me standing there. I blinked a few times and hurried to the bathroom. Turning the light on I almost screamed. The women in the mirror had beautiful dirty blond strands of hair fair smudges of dirt on her skin and bright green eyes. I glanced at the bite which was already healing. I turned on the shower which was separate from the huge bathtub. I stripped and hot in the warm water hitting me. I sighed again as it drenched my hair. Brown water made its way down the drain. How can anyone find me delicious if I'm this dirty? I stayed in the shower till the cold water kicked me out. I felt like a new women. I towed my self dry wrapping it around me I walked into the room which was still empty. I would put on the clothes before but I decided not to. I grabbed a clean lace bra with matching underwear then a black tank with a dark purple patterned pair of leggings. I rubbed my hair dry again walking back to the bathroom and tossed the towel over the shower door. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I went through the drawers till I found a white brush with the tag on still. I ripped it off and ran the brush through my hair. I blow dried my hair and finally put my hair up in a high ponytail. When it hit me. Justin. Im suppose to find Justin that the only reason I turned that's the only reason I'm here. It's felt like forever though was Justin even alive? Why didn't I ask Lance how long I've been out? I grabbed the bag taking it to the bed and opened it. Two jurnoles sat in it along with an eight plus phone with a charger. I dumped everything out and grabbed the black jurnal first.

May- What and who is this thing. She makes me notice things and constantly forget things which is a total pain. She's still sleeping Doc had the audacity to tell me to have faith. What's faith ever done for anyone? Vampires are vampires outcasts to all? But this thing makes me feel stupid as if I know nothing at all. She murmurs things from time to time and seems to like to lay on her hands. I feel it is a cause of trauma of her past. I've only been around a few fairies and I've forgotten how strong there blood exactly is. Her blood is mouth watering enough to give me a headache but it never does. I'm not sure what to do with her she seemed pretty confident when I met here  very attached to this Justin.

May-Two weeks later and she still sleeping. I dont plan on waiting forever for her to wake. She seems to feel well to my blood and that good. I'm leaving New York and leaving her here to be watched by a newbie.. Hopefully she be awake by the time I return.

 

May- Leaving her with Vince wants the best idea. He used as a ragdoll and used her. Going against my orders and obviously mine possession won't fly with me. Doesn't matter though hopefully he can tell the devil hello for me once he reaches hell. Amanda is still asleep. I wonder if I should just drain her, but when ever I think that I suddenly feel patient. A list of the all the things I know of her.

 

She’ll vomit everyone's blood up other then mine

She has nightmares

She sleeps

She breaths

Something tells me her or technically her body has a tolerance to me

Im guessing something happened to her in past

Apparently she's likes hitting people in the face.

Her blood is quite something

Doc says I  should keep away from her from an sudden accident but I can handle my desires.

May- Once I returned she was grayish pale color but she looks to her beautiful self as she's been taking my blood. Her eyes are starting to flutter as if her minds awake and her body isn't. .

 

The way the words were written out didn't seem anything like Lance it made me wonder if he even wrote this. What did he leave for a meeting? I shut the journal and opened the pink one. It was empty so I guess that meant I could write in it. Then again I was happy to have again. I took it and immediately started taking pictures by my window. Again there's the part of me that want the snow to melt for there to be sun and summer weather and then there's the other part of me that wishes that it would never go away. And whoever she is seems to know what she's doing. I sighed bored and of course curious I opened the door to leave and ran out. I ran down the stairs not paying attention to the random smells and was outside in the snow. The snow wasn't freezing I mean it was cold but I wasn't cold. It was staragne to actually be out here in shorts and a tank and no shoes which Id forgotten. I glance at my feet and back up. Setting off I ran for the forest. Everything was a blur yet so clear like I was looking at everything through new perspective which I technically was. I ran faster till a person caught my eye and instead of stopping I slipped and slid into a tree. I put my hand against my head and glanced as a vampire with red eyes stared at me. All of a sudden I felt like I was back at Saras with my first vampire. I wiped my hands looking back at him. “I never expected to cross a human girl in this forest” he giggled to himself. “I'm not human, I was.. I guess but not now” I argue as I stood. He was by me now with a strand of hair to his nose. “What are you then? Your blood smells devine” I pulled my head away. “You creep me out go away! ! dont have to explain anything to you” I didn't understand either, if he was apart of Lances cult shouldn't he know about me or maybe no one does. He slapped me causing me to fall again. He jumped and I rolled over before you could slam his feet down where I would have been. “I dont belong to you so you have no right to me” . He laughed “Oh really where is your creator then? Cause to me you look like a helpless human!” he ran towards me I dodged him last second but he grabbed my arm kicking my feet from under me. I fell and he was right on top of me before I could even blink. “If you have a creator he is really stupid and weak he didn't even had the energy to watch over and protect you! You creator is pathetic and shouldn't have turned you but I can change your fate, come with me..” His was serious now but my body was still boiling about what he said. I felt my fangs slowly sliding out. I showed him off me runnin to each him i slammed his head back down and bit him. Screams of agony filled my ears. I was shoved to the side but caught as I spun around. Crouched on the ground arms circled my waist. I glanced at the person wrist a black totem was disappearing and Lances scent was slowly filling my nose. I let myself fall into him as the vampire on the floor thrashed his head around screaming steam was coming from his neck as blood poured out. Skin was disappearing around his neck as if he just drank a cup of acid, soon he fell twitching and then stopped. We were both quiet. “I'm sorry” I say wiping my mouth. He yanked my chin up so i was looking at him. “Dont be sorry he deserved it this was a test but i truly didn't think this would be the result of it”

“I dont understand I've bitten you before, I think”  

“Yes but you weren't exactly angry to the point you wanted to kill me” he explains wiping my mouth. I nod “So..did I pass?” he pushed up my upper lip inspecting my fangs “You passed” he pulled me to his neck but I leaned back. “Stop you wont kill me” he grabbed me by my shin and pulled my face to his neck. How could I possible drink from him after what I had just done? I pushed a strad  if hair behind my ear. Please dont kill Lance I thought. I bit his neck and hesitated on doing anything else. Lance pulled my body closer to him and I sighed as the sweet red liquid filled my mouth.

When I got..home Lance made me take a shower he said the scent of someone else's blood on me didn't suit me, so I'm guessing that a jealous thing? When I wrapped my towel around me I stepped out and walked to my dresser of course ignoring the fact that Lance is in the room and staring at me. I could feel his eyes on my back like they were just digging through my spine. I grabbed a bundle of clothes and started walking to the bathroom when I suddenly walked into him instead. “Where are you going?”

“To change” I say gesturing to the bathroom and I kinda realized how funny that seemed. What I said not the gesturing part. He pulled me towards him and yanked the towel out of my grasps. I felt so helpless and my cheeks burned. And seem even more stupid I said the first thing that popped in my head. “I have a boyfriend” he looked amused “really what's the point cause after you save him and that's if he's still alive..I get you back anyways. That was are deal Amanda”

“I know” the front of my body was pressed into him and I hoped he wouldn't move back. He put his his hands on my hips and moved his lips against my ear. “Your gonna have to learn to trust me whatever you been through isnt gonna change that fact” I didn't answer. He kissed me on the neck and walked away towards the bed. I thought of a random song as I got dressed I felt Lance's eyes on me. “You know I feel it when your looking at me I say pulling the shirt over my head. I left the towel where it was and climbed onto the bed. Lance pulled me to him to where i was laying on him. “What's wrong with staring at something I like?” the words hung in my head for a second but I was up and talking again. “It goes both ways there's nothing wrong with it and then theres if your dating someone for example and she's really likes you and you really liked her and then you say those words to her only about another girl..thats cold”  he furrowed his brows “He likes another girl his girlfriend can get over it”

“Ni she cant. That's like me belonging to you and then suddenly wanting to be with another guy” he stared at me. “Like Justin”

It took me awhile but i finally replied “Yes, and speaking of Justin I need to go soon I need to see if he's rescued yet and then go find him” he seemed slightly annoyed and that made me smile. “Why dont you just save yourself the pain of disappointment and stay here” I sigh

“I have to try if I dont that means I gave up everyone for nothing and I can't deal with that” I laid back down on his chest and he hugged me to him. A knock straddled me and Lance sighed. “What is it?” he calls. A man speaks in another language. Lance sits up with me still on him “Hey can you teach me that language” I ask. He glanced at me “Sure” he grabbed my thigh kissing it he was gone the door shutting behind him.

 

Dressed in a pair of black legging a black hoodie and a pair of teenish shoes I sat on a log waiting. Lance finally returned dragging a deer behind him apparently were fixing my diet of Lances blood only “Try this” I slid from the log and sat by the deer its neck was torn and hits big brown eyes were open but it lay still. I wiggled my nose it didn't smell that appetizing. I sunk my teeth in it and drank. I let go sticking my tongue out in disgust, “I dont think this is working” I say. Wed gone through two rabbits one moose one elk one coyote and now one lynk and one fox. “At least I know where you get your blood from but you need a bigger diet”

“What about human food” Lance stared at me. Back at the house Lance sent a guy Vince shopping. “Get crunchy stuff like cheez its”

Vince looked confused at me and i felt terrified that he didn't even no what I was talking about. I grabbed the piece of paper and made of list of the things I might want.

Cheez Its

Doritos

Strawberries

Appeles

Potato chips

Frozen pepperoni pizza

 

“You can start with this remember to ask for help if you can't find anything your italian accent will help” I handed the list to Vince and he walked away with a sigh, In the meantime with Lance wherever I hung out with Jessica. The girl that brought me clothes yesterday. We spent the whole time reshelving books in the library. “How old is this place?” I ask glancing at a spider who scurried into a small hole. “The 1600s I dont really remember but I think Lance grew up here. How are you and Lance by the way” She asks looking at me. I shrugged “Good I guess hopefully I can check on Justin soon” she nodded “You know he's never been this attached before” i looked at her wondering what she was getting at. “You mean he's never turned anyone before?”

“No he has but there usually always super stubborn and get killed I think he's only turned to people, You'd think he'd turn more people but I guess he doesn't want to feel responsible for them”

“He seems like he'd be a good leader” I say not knowing really what to say. She nodded grabbing a book. “Hes highly respected but him being a pure blood also helps to” she shoved the book between two other books and grabbed another one. “Do you

Like him?” the question startled  me. “I barely know him” I say she shrugged her shoulders. “It's just that Lance has taken an interest it you. I think you should figure out your feeling before someone gets hurt” she stared at me and i turned ignoring her. Was that supposed to be a threat whatever it was I wasn't scared. When Vince returned I couldn't be more happy I had to keep myself from kissing him on the cheek as he put the bags on the counter. “I managed to get everything off the list Lance is on his way here”

“Thankyou” I say with a smile. “Yea..” he glanced at me and left. I grabbed the first thing and noticed it was dark, I pulled it out and smiled at the box of brownies. Vince sure knows how to surprise people. I opened the box and ripped a piece of the brownine sufiing it in my mouth. By the time Lance got into the kitchen i was on the floor with chocolate all over my face huggin the box. He stared at me and I held up my finger chewing. He finally walked over to me and crouched lifting my head he licked my cheek. “Looks like your diet is solved” I nodded quickly smiling.

After i washed my face I out my hair in a messy bun and walked back out Lance was glancing at my phone. “Now that my diet is solved can I go..rescue mission” he sighed. “How about a visit to your grandmother first” I smiled bouncing on the tip of my feet. I was happy to be going to Saras or I was happy till I realized Lance was coming with me. Not that, it bothered me but I was nervous now. The next day we finally left. As we walk across the snow with her house insight. I sigh. “Wait outside please…”

He leaned against the railing and that told me he would. I smiled and opened the door. The T.V was on and the fire place was lit as usual. I heard clanks of dishes in the kitchen. I didn't know what my intronce should have been do I sit on the couch do i yell her name to I just walk up to her? I decided to open the door again and shut it louder then before. The water stopped and I heard footsteps other then my own as I stood by the T.V. Sara walked out and stopped staring at me. yup this is how my grandmother dies by shock. I stood there realizing i was suppose to be talking. “Sara I know i've been gone for awhile and Im fine im gonna find justin but i really wanted to see you so I came” the words just rolled out of my mouth. She still stood there and i wondered if I actually did something to her. I walked up to her and she hugged me squeezing my body to hers. I hugged him back not as hard as I wanted to for the fear that I would break her but I hugged her. “I'm so happy to see your ok” her voice broke and I knew she was crying. It was so weird to hear her crying. It was like she seemed unable to cry and now here she was crying. After a long hug we sat on the couch, she kept holding my hand and don't let go. “Tell me everything where have you been?” I Sucked in my cheeks. “When Justin went missing I wanted to be of use then i was which wasn't anything at all, so..I asked Noah if he would change me” she looked surprised at me “And?” she demands. “And of course he said no we had a big argument about it so like a week later i let it drop and he believed i was done with the idea. So i went out with Amber C.J came with us I ran and came across a group of vampires next thing I know I'm making a deal and he bites me. I bit the inside of my cheeks as Sara processed that she stared at me and cleared her voice. “What was the deal?” I thought for a minute. “The deal was that after I save Justin I continue being loyal to Lance” of course i left out the toy part. She nodded again I couldn't tell if she was mad or just trying to be calm. “And what now? Whats next”

“Well thing is its weird he's known me for threes weeks and i've known him for three days now. I just woke up it's a weird thing. Im part Fairy yet Im part Vampire, the only thing I lived off was Lance's blood now I realize yesterday that I can eat human food. So Im hoping to see Justin soon” she sighed “He's still missing sweetie, the pack his cult are still looking for trails, now moving back onto this vampire subject..your eyes”

“Oh! I almost forgot um I guess when your turned they can choose if you have there eye color or keep your own I dont really know”

“Alright so your going to go through with this deal?”

I nodded “He's not a bad person”

“Well I appreciate he let you come by yourself to visit”

“Uh huh about that-Sara eyes widened and I wiped my head around as the door opened. Lance walked in and casually shut the door behind him. “He have a cozy home” he says glancing around the walls. Sara looked cautious “Thank You” I felt like I was feeling tension but I wasn't I was suddenly lifted and seated back down only I was sitting on Lances lap. “As you can see your granddaughters reaction time isn't as high as it should be”

“What else is different for her she told me she didn't wake up till three days ago” she glanced at me and back to lance. “I didn't know if she was dead or not it's very strange as I know who you are you obviously know many things but a fairy being turned is very rare most of them die or so i'm told by homes doctor. Its like shes still human shes breaths she blinks she cries yet she can still run at our speed drink blood like we do”

“What's the worse thing that can come out of this do you think”

“I made a test for Amanda to test her loyalty and her weakness. I let a loose vampire close to her and of course I was there in the trees the whole time just when I thought she lost she bit him”

“And he died?” she asks.

“Well I mean he was screaming in agony but I guess i would to if my neck was melting. There's a type of venom she's able to produce not like the venom we give that changes people, I guess I'll need the dlc to look at it”

“But she's Drinking from you”

“Yes that's the thing i think it's more of a temper charge I fed her right after and nothing happened”

“Well that's good, Nicks worried about you” she says glancing at me.

Before I could speak Lance was talking in that language Sara didn't look confused at all as he spoke. She spoke right back and I glanced at Lance. “What are you saying this isn't fair” I whine “Lance smiled at me “Why dont you go see Amber” I frown this is not cool im being treated like a kid when parents want to have an adult conversation. Lance turned my head so his lips were hidened. “Dont take this lightly because you don't have a chance like this in awhile”  he kissed my cheek lightly and pushed me up off his lap. I was irritated before that i was kicked out so I didn't say anything as I left. If Sara likes him so much she can have him. I ran when I could to Ambers and walked. Ambers was the same as ever and I hoped she wouldn't be mad at me either. No car was parked in front of the house and I rolled my eyes. I wondered how her and her mom's relationship is. I walked into the house and a rotten smell smacked me in the face like this house needs to drown in febreze bad smell. I covered my mouth and nose with my shirt glancing at the clean looking houses serface. I followed the smell upstairs wondering if I should call for Sara or not. I pushed open Ambers door and screamed. There her grey rotting body hung from a rope. Tears brimming my eyes as I was by her “Amber oh my god!” I ripped the rope her body falling like a heavy limp doll. Her body had to be here for days. “Amber I'm so sorry” I couldn't even see I was crying so hard. I didn't care I kissed her head over and over. A chair lay on its side close by and i noticed letters by her stuffed bear Molly. I grabbed them sitting by Amber again my nose was so stuffed I could barely smell her anymore. There were eight letter total Her mom, me, Sara, C.J Parker,Nick,Justin And to the man that has me. I ripped my open pulling out the letter I read it.

 

Dear Amanda,

I love you so much you were the best friend I ever had. I'm sorry I Have to leave you like this and I hope you somehow get this letter. I was so unhappy Amanda more than words could describe everything fell apart on the night you weren't here and i felt so bad about that two. My mom was gone she's been gone I know that doing whatever she does. I'm so disappointed in her shes not a mother shes a whorror just like Stacy. Please know that I'm crying writing this and that ll I'll always remember our time together and I kinda wished we had a snowball fight. Why didn't we? Lol. I hope your happy wherever you are I hope when your in a time of sorrow and you think that you can't get up you'll remember me and get up cause I know you can. Your so strong Amanda so brave and I envy you so much! Please dont waste your life Amanda live it to the fullest I hope you do whatever makes you happy I dont care  what is it. I'll be watching you from above

I love you to the moon and back and please watch molly for me :)

 

Love Amber

 

I clutched the note to my stomach and cried. I called Lance and i couldn't even speak I was hyperventilating. And when he hung up I felt hopeless again. I grabbed Molly, the notes and a bunch of pictures of of her bulletin board. I heard a door shut and suddenly my face was in Lances hands. I tossed the stuff to the side and jumped on him. He stood and I wrapped my legs around him. Maine would never be the same.

When the sun set police officers were still here with these flashing lights on cars. I stayed on the front steps hugging the pictures,letters and Molly to my chest. A car zoomed into the lot and I knew it wasn't her mom's car. Nick jumped out of the car so did Aiden,Ethan and Isabel. The ran to an officer but not Is “Amanda!” she ran over and I felt like dying. She crouched by me whipping my face. She glanced at what ai was holding. “Amanda Im so sorry..” I sniffed grabbing her letter with a shaky hand I gave it to her. She grabbed it and looked like she was gonna cry to stuffed the letter in her jacket. “You must be cold come on will take you” she stood pulling me up but I didn't walk with her. “Sorry Is but I'm not going Im gonna wait to say goodbye to Sarah then go home” she stared at me just as the rest reached us. Nick pulled me into his chest and I was ready scream if anything I was holding was cancelled. “Amanda where have you been, did you get contacts?”

“I've been around ok I dont think this is the right time for questions!” he opened his mouth to speak but let it go. I hugged Aiden and Ethan. “Were glad your back” says Ethan”

“I'm not” I say quickly. Nick was about to speak but Aiden shoved him with his shoulder. “Thats a shame Amanda but I know your making the right decisions. I didn't answer did that mean I’m apparently making the wrong ones. I turned my head Just as a sad Sara and a stiff Lance walked out of the house Sara walked down the steps as if not noticing us but Lance stopped. “I was wondering where the wet dog smell was coming from” Nick glared at him. “Who are you again?” Lance ignored him looking at Aiden “Thank You for your packs support”

“Of course” says Aiden glancing between me and Lance. With that Lance followed in Saras footsteps to the car. “Amanda- Please dont” I interrupt Nick sighed “I'll see you guys around, bye Is” I say giving her a smile she smiled back at Ethans side. “Oh” I say almost for getting. I pulled out Nicks letter and gave it to him. “See ya” I walked away just like that, who knew loyalty could hurt.

When we dropped Sara off we hugged for what seemed like minutes. “I'll make sure to visit you soon and before I forget” I say pulling away I handed her her letter. She smiled hugging me again “Your a good girl Amanda I'll always love you no matter what decisions you make in your life”

“I love you” I say

In the car I felt numb. Lance kept looking at me time to time. I could tell he wanted to say something but he didn't no what, I dont blame him though I wouldn't either. It took us about two hours to get to the familiar house. As I stepped out of the car still clutching onto Amberes things my legs felt numb as I shuffled my feet. Through the snow. I was suddenly in Lances arms and I didn't even care.  The house seemed less full but the people that were in it seemed more active. Upstairs he set me down by the bed and watched me sit there. “I'll be right back..” I nodded and he left. I set the stuff on the bed and grabbed my phone. I closed the bathroom door behind me and ran the bath water pouring a bunch of soap into it. I finally undressed and crawled into it sigh as the water warmed my body. I grabbed my phone checking the time. 9:43pm. I played music that I hoped with take my mind off Amber and it kinda worked. I stayed in the tub for about an hour till I pulled the plug and crawled out ignoring the soap bubbles. I wrapped a towel around me and stepped out of the bathroom feeling relieved that it was just me. I put on a clean bra and under wear and grabbed one of Lances big shirts. I Pulled/ripped my hair tie out of my hair and crawled into bed. I grabbed the remote for the T.V and turned it on just as the door open. Lance was gone and at the bed in a second. I blinked as  grabbing his letter from the pile. He tossed me the box of Cheez Its and I caught it “Nice shirt” he says opening the seal “Thanks” I went to netflix and clicked on Riverdale. Lance sat by me and I felt my throat suddenly feel parched.

 

“Dear person who has Amanda

 

I am gone now of course, I refuse to live in this world as long as I have and  am proud of myself just for that. But dear god I hope you treat Amanda with respect she's not a doll to be used then thrown to the side. You may not give a shit about me but at least give a little shit about her. She's beautiful strong brave loyal supportive and wild. Love her just right and she'll do the same. Id hope we meet but I guess it didn't turn out this way. I'm glad you got the chance to read this letter if you want to find out one of Amands hobbies  here's a hint to get you started She's a very good sketcher.

 

Love Amber whoever you are”

 

I felt impatient waiting for him to finish and I felt guilty that I was barely even paying attention. I finally turned his head away from me and bit into him as he finished. “Your so greedy..” he slid his hand to my ass and kept it there. I licked his neck and wiped my mouth. “I got blood on your shirt” I say looking at the few drops. He pushed my chin up and kissed me. What?? I felt utterly confused as he kissed me again. “I'm trying to keep sane around you but it's not exactly working” he whispers. He kissed me again and I kissed him back. He kissed me lightly then with more force. I didn't know if this was wrong or not here I am again stuck in this position. I felt more weird than anything knowing my friend had just died but that was quickly pushed away as he kissed me. ###

 

“Just be soft k?” He smiled with humor as if finding it amusing.  He lifted my shirt and kissed down my stomach pulling down my under where before shoving his tongue in me my first reaction was to push his head away but he saw it coming and grabbed my wrist pinning them to my side as I tried to scot away. “Lance..s-stop” he smiled and continued to enjoy my taste licking and sucking as I tried not to let anything escape my lips. He finally crawled back up and kissed me aggressively biting my lip. “You liked it, dont even try to deny it” His voice was low and husky making me actually want him.he flipped me over and I could hear the rattle of his belt being undone imagining it as he pressed my head into the bed. His hands ran up my ass gently asI laid flat. He lifted my hips up and slammed into me making me moan. It was much louder than I'd expected and he was much bigger than I ever thought as I was sure that I was probably bleeding as I felt myself being stretched out. “LAnce..easy”  he ran his hands up my sides and groped my breasts as he leaned forward. A light growl came from his as he gently kissed my neck. He leaned back pulling out the tiniest bit and began to thrust his hips. I bit my finger bearing the pain till it turned to bliss. He picked up speed and by my hand away that belonged to the finger I was biting, “Give in already” I shook my head as a whimper escaped my lips. I breathed into the mattress feeling his dick thrust in me deeper beginning to her skin slapping against skin I moaned into the sheets and groaned as he grabbed a fistful of my hair. He slammed into me again and I moaned loudly “There it is...that sweet voice” he continued to fuck me.

When I woke up I felt numb. I realized I was staring at the sun and rolled on my other side. I glanced at my arms and my eyes widened. Purple red bite marks covered not just my arms but my whole body as I ripped the dark green sheet off of me. Bite marks started from my ankles reaching all the way to the inside of my thighs. Bruises were on my arms and claw marks were on my hips. I grabbed the sheet wrapping it around me and hurried into the bathroom. My hair was tangled my eyes were red a puffy and my lips were swollen. I felt kinda guilty. I mean this isn't what I expected I mean it was when we were making the deal but..not this way.

 

I sighed splashing water on my face and walked back into the bedroom. I

 

laid back on the bed grabbing Molly, poor bear. I hugged it close to me and sighed. So this is what it feels like to lose a friend.. The door opened and the door shut. I heard footsteps and the creak of the bed. “Hows my little bitch of a princess doing?” I went to slap him him but he grabbed my hand yanking me into his lap. “Look at me it's like your whole cult got a hold of me!” iyell showing him my wrists

“Says the girl whose hands I had to tie so she wouldst scratch the shit out of my back and who also almost bit my dick” I burst out laughing “Well Im happy cause I feel like shit” I say grabbing his face he had this brown short beard thing going on and it suited him. I kissed him then bit his neck. I tried to not let any blood fall out of my mouth.  “I want the Doc to take a look at you, I want him to rung a few tests and to check your venom dont worry is a funny man you'll like him” I pulled away wiping my mouth. “Ok” I say slowly. he grabbed my face and kissed me below my left eye.

The Doctor or Doc is a weird old man with white hair that goes every which way. He says over his 500 year life that he's only seen my species three times. So apparently I declared half and half but more vampire but because I'm part fiary the I'm mostly vampire is partly cancelled out. Yea again weird old Doctor that doesn't make sense. We talked about what got me angry and it didn't take long to get a sample of my venom. Even though him being very smart and being a great doctor he couldn't exactly tell me what my venom was except it was a form of acid, but of course that was obvious to me.That night I ate with everyone else. About 100 vampires were seated and talking. I didn't even know they ate like this, together. Tonight's dinner was rare seasoned steak with a blood sauce. It was actually really good. I didn't really talk the whole time and Lance seemed to notice but didn't call on it. Thanks to my observation he seems close to Grim and Swift. Obviously uncommon names but I Like them. When I say close I mean he doesn't look like he's going to kill them. He has a total new vibe to him that says dont say something stupid or dont mess with me. Grim seemed friendly and playful and i tried not to laugh watching them.

“Come on pussy fight me!” Swift tackled Grim in one motion. They rolled across the floor swift now in headlock. Lance rubbed his face in annoyance. “I like them” I say looking at him. He glanced at me his finger tapping his wine class thinking. “Thats good” he didn't seem to thrilled though. No one seemed exactly concerned as Grim and Swift wrestled on the ground cussing each other out. I sighed and finished my food.

When everyone was up and leaving clearing plates I finally turned to Lance. “I'm thinking of going tonight”

“Where?”

“To go after Justin... the only reason I'm here” he glared at me. I dont know why Im here, I mean I like Lance but I just dont know whats right. I looked away. “Fine go” l started at him and he didn't look at me. I finally stood and left. He can be mad at me but I dont care. I'm gonna ignore him and im gonna ignore what we did last night and do what I came for. I took a quick shower and dressed in all black stuffing my hair in a black beanie. I left without being seen and made my way through the forest.

Reaching Sarah's house I smiled. I missed it. I missed the house the woods the stars. The windows were dark which gave me the idea that she was either gone or sleeping. I could smell Sara, pine needles and lavender. I ran upstairs. She was sleeping. I smiled and grabbed her box of totems. “To paint on your arm..” I say aloud. There was a cut out like something that belonged to a sticker. I placed it on the inside of my arm and ran a brush down it covering up the whole thing. I pulled off the cut out and a symbol remained in black inc. I put the paint back and grabbed the sheet of paper with the words I have to say. I said them partly totally sure I was saying them correct. I hissed as I felt the symple burning. I dropped the paper and dashed down stairs to pant and whine. The simple glowed a bright orange then returned to its original black color, smoke rising. I cursed to myself and was about to walk back outside but stopped. I grabbed a pen and a piece of lined paper.

 

Dear,Grandma

 

I love and miss you. If you didn't see I used a totem. It hurts like hell but need it to go help Justin. I hope you read your letter. I really miss her, I can't wait to see you soon.

 

Luv Amanda.

 

I left the note on the kitchen counter and ran outside. The clocks ticking. it took me about an hour to get to the large building. It looked like an old factory, itt was fenced and guarded. I raised my hood and stood to the shadows. When it hit me. They might not be able to catch me but what about the scent of my clothes? My thought was correct as a guard sniffed the air. I ran across the parking lot and glanced back. He glanced my way but didn't seem to see me as he leaned back against the truck. Well Im Maybe I need like a doctor's coat or something. I ran glancing at a guy I ran up to him and twisted his neck before he had time to react. Human? No his fangs are out. I grabbed his key card. And walked up the ramp. Inside there wasnt alot of people. I glanced at a cart and it was filled with doctors coats. I took off my jacket and beanie and put one on hearing voices. It was two guys they glanced at me and smirked as they passed picking up there conversation. I quickly walked away. Where am I going? a basement? I dont know Im thinking action movie. This is like the opposite of what I was expecting I didn't think I was actually just gonna sneak him out of here but here I am.I used my key card and kept walking finding a stairway. I walked down and another till I appeared at a door. I jumped back spotting a camera. This door requires an actual key. I growled running down the hallway. I ran into a room to see a woman putting medicine on a tray “Who are you?” I ran and shoved her against the wall grabbing her neck I twisted it. Wow that must be like the easiest move. I glanced at her lifeless body who knew I would be killing anybody in my life. I sighed grabbing the cart and pushed it to the room and casually to the door. The camera lenses zoomed in and out. It took a minute but the door blinks green and opened. I ran the cart in and shut the door. I realised there was another camera. Justin lay pale dead looking on a table he had wires and needles in him and I had to force myself not to run to him. I jumped as an alarm went off. I cursed. Running to him I pulled the wires out of his body. Biting my arm I opened his mouth and pressed my wrist against it. He looked so pale I wondered if was actually dead. I wrapped my lap coat around him just as a door flew open. I flashed my fangs only to see Noah. he glared at me. “Where not done talking yet” he grabbed Justin putting him over his shoulder and we ran dashing outside. We speed walked a normal pace. “What are you doing here were not even caught yet!”

“Same thing your doing, we have to move quickly the- I screamed as I was thrown over the ramp. I fell but landed up right. A man flashed his fangs at me. I growled and ran forward he slashed at my arm and slammed me against the ground. I jumped back up but he just kicked me to the side. I coughed clutching my stomach. The vampire grabbed my throat and squeezed. I clawed at his face till a wolf ripped him off slamming him against the ground. The guy yelled in agony as his arm remained in the wolf's mouth. Nick. I stood and ran as vampires attacked vampire. Some I didn't even recognize. I ran past the fence following Noah's scent  I ran when I glanced at a girl backing away from a vampire she didn't smell like one. I ran up behind him and bit him pulling him to the ground. I felt something hot in my mouth and let go. The man thrashed around backing away as he clutched his neck drips of the asid sizzled as they hit the pavement. The girl look horrified. “You should get out of here” I ran before she could respond, Noah's scent isn't too far away him all the way to the house. Running inside I found him giving blood to Justin. I felt so tired that was easier than I thought but tiring. I ran sitting by Justin's side. “How is he?” I ask. “I think he gonna make it I dont no if he's alive but he moved his head” I frown “How do you no if he's gonna live for just one head movement!” he glared at me. “Why dont you come back in a few days go to your creator or help fight” I bit my lip I would but that would be really awkward but I dont say that obviously. I glare at him I felt slightly betrayed but then again I bet he did to. I ran back to fight. We had retreated but most of the guards and doctors were injured or dead. I returned to Lance by dawn. Jessica was the first one out. I glanced at my arm the totem was ruined and disappearing. “Your arm” she calls grabbing it. “Its fine” and it was. I was expecting more of a battle but that's not what I got. Maybe because it's not even over.

Lance didn't say much, he was determined to stay out of it saying its not his or his cults problem. I didn't expect him to care anyways. A week passed. I stayed at Saras the whole time, mostly cause I felt weird being around Lance and i dont know why but it was just weird. Lance has two of his men James and Sebastian watching me. But despise all my Lance problems I couldn't wait for the good news about Justin, and it finally came. in the house everyone seemed to be gone. Once I reached Justin's room he was reading a book till he glanced at me shock covering his face. And so did mine. A girl with black hair sat at his side staring at me. Justin pulled his hand out of hers. “Amanda come here” I didn't know what to do all of a sudden I was feeling stupid betrayed and wtf. Obviously I've missed something...AGAIN. “Whos she?” I ask pointing. She glared at me standing. “My name is Grace, Im Justin's mate” she says this as if it's obvious. I glanced at Justin who looked hurt. I wanted to smack the look off him. “Amanda I wanted to tell you but I thought she was gone for good!” my eyes widen. How can he say that and about her. “Really? That's the best excuse you have?” I turned for nothing. I worried and cried for nothing. I left school, abandoned Amber, Nick. Sara everyone for nothing.  “You dont realise how much I gave up to save you…” I say. he looked at me. “Im sorry come back later please..I can't think properly..Amanda, I'll always love you but your not mine anymore I can't help that and I know so many things have happened and gone by but I can't be with you you have a creator now... I can't put my cult at risk!” My mouth hung open. You could see past it and fight for what you want It's not like Lance is like that! but I dont say that last part to him because what good is that. I tried hard not to cry right there. “Um.. I hope you heal good..” I turned and walked out in a human pace Justin yelling my name. I could be having a normal life, with Nick? Is that what I was destined. For me to fall in love with Nick and for Aidan to fight over me like so Edward Jacob type shit. I must be the most stupid person on the planet! I got down stairs and Noah blurred in front of me. “Amanda Im sor- Dont..say your sorry! I'm sorry for dumping all I had and trying to find him going through all these emotions, I didn't think things were gonna end this way. Did you? Cause I didn't! I gave up everything I have Noah everything! I could be going to school right now eating with Amber or something but no! I’m the worst best friend ever and Sara should hate me!” he yanked me into him as I sobbed. He hugged me tight and I knew for sure he'd always be my friend. No doubt. But then again it was there hiding. “I'll always be your friend Amanda I promise you ever need someone Im right here!” I cried harder. Those words hit me. In a good I love you friend type way. When I left my feet pounding into the snow I smiled at how Noah had done his best and good at cheering me up. I cant dwell and cry about the past. I can't help but feel relieved, letting go feels good. I'll always miss my human self but I love being strong and fast. My thirst for blood I can live with, being a vampire I can live with.. and Lance..I think I can live with.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.04.2018

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