The Girl with Bare Feet

“Can you help me find my shoes?” A small voice, a girl’s voice, called out.

 

Janelle Thomlin, a children's book illustrator, saw a little girl sitting on the ground. She was crying and had pulled her knees up to her chest as if she were trying to make herself as little as possible. “Sweetie, are you alright?” The girl looked up. Her sad face broke Janelle’s heart.

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Glancing at the girl’s bare feet then turning to look behind her thinking her parents were nearby Janelle asked, “Your shoes? Do you know where you saw them last?” Seeing no one, she turned back to the girl and was about to ask where her parents were but stopped before she could utter a word. The sweet face she’d just seen was now bloodied and battered and a pair of dead eyes stared back at her.

 

Janelle woke with a start and bolted upright in bed. She’d had the nightmare again. The one she’d had off and on for six years starting back when she was pregnant with Liza. Janelle didn’t know who the little girl was though she felt like she should have known. And after trying several times over the months to sketch the girl's before image as soon as she woke up, Janelle stopped trying because the horrific after visage had been so indelibly etched into her memory that was all her mind would let her recall.

 

Back then her husband, Wade, a youth minister would kiss her forehead and say, “It’s just your hormones, Jan.” But it felt like more than just hormones at the time. And when it became a nightly occurrence, Janelle went to her obstetrician. Dr. Wingate told her perhaps Wade was right in some ways. After all, a woman's hormones fluctuate like they're on a trampoline during a pregnancy and can cause issues with sleeping. But the nightmares were unusual.

 

Dr. Wingate suggested Janelle go see a friend of hers; a psychiatrist who worked a lot with pregnant women as well as women dealing with the aftermath of miscarriages and postpartum depression. Janelle wasn't thrilled at the idea of seeing another doctor just because she was having some bad dreams but when Dr. Wingate told her she wasn't comfortable prescribing medication for psychological issues, she relented and went to see Dr. Danisha Monroe.

 

Dr. Monroe met with Janelle for two hours on their first visit. She asked all the typical 'What sort of things might have happened in your childhood to make the idea of you having a child so terrifying you'd have nightmares about it?' questions psychiatrists are supposed to ask. But there was nothing in Janelle’s past that hinted to anything so bad it would cause the nightmares.

 

Janelle actually had a pretty nice childhood. She grew up on an island off the coast of South Carolina. Her parents ran a popular bed and breakfast and because of that met people from all around the world. In fact, it was because of one of the guests who commented on Janelle's artistic ability after seeing some of her water color ocean/island scenes on the walls at the B&B, she decided right then and there she wanted to be an artist. She was fifteen and actually had a clue.

 

She went to college; majored in art and had a grand time. Then, in graduate school, she met Wade at a party hosted by one of her graduate professors. Wade was working on his Master of Theology at the time but he wasn't a stuffy 'preacher' type of guy. In fact, he was fun to be around. He was almost wickedly handsome, he liked a good bottle of wine, and he also enjoyed good weed. And best of all, when they started dating Wade wasn't one of those 'we've got to wait until we're married to have sex' kind of guys.

 

No. She and Wade had an active, fun, spontaneous sex life well before he asked her to marry him. And that didn't change after they were married either. Although over time they did both wind up with somewhat demanding jobs that made their passionate evenings a little fewer and farther between.

 

But that wasn't a big deal. Janelle was doing her art thing and Wade was living his dream of ministering to the youth of Charleston. In fact, Wade's popularity grew and he became the Head of Youth Ministry for one of Charleston's largest churches. This new position gave him recognition within the Baptist community. And there were several times when he was invited to deliver inspiring speeches for the youth of other congregations around South Carolina and North Carolina. There was one time when he even made his way to a ‘Super Church’ stationed in a suburb outside of Atlanta, Georgia.

 

Wade adored those trips. He always came back in a rambunctious mood and Janelle got the distinct impression his time away from her drove made him crave her because he couldn’t keep his hands and other body parts off of her. And Janelle rather enjoyed being ravaged by her passionate husband. Then when he’d gotten all his pent up sexual tension out of the way, Wade would tell her hilarious stories about some of the people he'd met.

 

His stories were one of the best things Janelle loved about him. One of her favorite things to hear him talk about was the crazy women on the social committees of the churches he would visit. Apparently they thought he was entirely too skinny and would use that as an excuse to prepare huge dinners for him or any other visiting pastors or guest speakers who would come to their church. "I tell you Jan, it's the same at every single church. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be sitting at a buffet table prepared by thirty women who all want to prove they've made the best this or the greatest tasting that? Please, Babe, whatever you do, do not become one of those sorts of church ladies."

 

She promised she wouldn’t… ever so long as she never had to go on ministry road trip. Janelle knew he loved taking the trips and getting to meet new people. And normally meeting new people was fine with Janelle. But after a five day excursion to some little town in the middle of North Carolina where Wade was asked to speak to a group of young men and women preparing to go on a mission to Honduras, Janelle thought she was going to lose her mind.

 

It was an absolutely miserable trip. And as they made their way back home, Wade asked her what was wrong Janelle groaned then said she felt like all the other wives of preachers at the church were trying their best to turn her into a 'good Baptist preacher's wife'. “I swear Wade, it’s like I was stuck in a Baptist version of the Stepford Wives. It creeped me out. It’s not me. Seriously, they didn’t understand my love of art. And when I say ‘art’ I mean real art; the kind where, God forbid, you look at a naked human form. And they keep trying to figure out why I feel this need to have a job that might outshine your work with the ministry. And all I could think was ‘are they serious?’ But they just kept talking and I realized, damn, they were serious.”

 

Wade understood her apprehension and even said, "Babe, I married you because you are you. Not some cookie-cutter preacher's wife. In fact, you're kind of like my mother. You know how she is. She always speaks her mind and back when my dad was preaching full-time, she ruffled lots of feathers back home. It's okay. If you don't want to come on these trips, I can do them myself. The rides back and forth will be kind of lonely but I know I've got you to come home, too."

 

That made Janelle happy to hear. Wade understood where she was coming from. He knew she didn't want to be pushed into having to be a believer. She was a believer. She just didn't see things the way most of the Baptists she knew did.

 

She wasn't a conservative; not in the slightest. She didn't hate homosexuals; didn’t treat them as sinners who were going to rot in Hell. In fact, in her artistic world, she'd known many gay people. They were wonderful. And she wasn't a fan of guns; not one tiny bit. Basically, the thought to be important by the majority were not important to Janelle. Honestly, when the other minister’s wives looked at her she thought the saw her in one of two ways. Janelle was either a sinner trying to pull her husband down or they secretly wished they had her strength to be her own woman.

 

She knew one day, Wade would rise in the Baptist ranks and he’d be a lead minister somewhere; hopefully close to where they’d made their home in South Carolina. But if not, she’d deal with it. And, maybe, if she’d gotten to a point where she was comfortable enough to be ‘the preacher’s wife’ the way people expected her to be, she might try it out. Although she wasn’t sure it would stick.

 

Janelle had her own career; one she was proud of. Two years after getting her Master's in Art and Illustration, she'd been hired to work as an illustrator for a small boutique book company. Then her artistry was seen by a popular children's book author who asked her to come aboard on her team. She wasn't even thirty and her artistic flair was already in thousands of books on the shelves in little children's bedrooms all around the world.

 

After listening to Janelle go on and on about how close to flawless her life was for two hours Dr. Monroe smiled and said, "Janelle, I know this will sound out of left field to you because I know you think things are fairly perfect for you. But looking beyond all the wonderful things, I can tell there’s a lot of stress in your life. I think you might be suffering from some mild depression. It could be wholly related to the pregnancy or it might not. You’re pregnant and you’ve got a go, go, go mentality. And you’re married to a go, go, go guy. After a while all that going can overwhelm anyone; maybe even overwhelm them enough that that their anxiety manifests itself into nightmares."

 

Janelle stared at Dr. Monroe. She knew the doctor was right. She did often feel like she was walking a tightrope between her world of art and expression and her husband's fairly straight and narrow calling. Adding in the pregnancy, Janelle felt like she might fall off that rope at any moment.

 

Dr. Monroe clicked her pen a couple of times then put it and the folder she was hold aside. "Also, from watching the way you've been rubbing your thumb and forefinger together as well as wiggling your leg during our session, I think you're dealing with a bit of hyperactivity which would go hand-in-hand with your always moving forward mentality. Again, a lot of this could be related to the pregnancy. So, I'm going to prescribe some medication that will not harm your fetus but it help you with the anxiety and your issues with sleeping. I can't give you an antidepressant until after you deliver but after there's no need to worry about a developing fetus, I think you should start taking something to help ease that depression."

 

In the end, Dr. Monroe came to be someone Janelle respected and trusted because she was not only straight forward but she was kind, too. So Janelle agreed to the regimen she'd prescribed. She took a mild antianxiety medicine before she went to bed and worked on finding other ways to destress. Over time, the nightmares lessened though they did not cease. But she was able to sleep more soundly. Then, shortly after Liza’s birth Janelle started taking stronger meds and the nightmare became nothing more than a disturbing dream she had once in a while.

 

Four years later, Janelle became pregnant with her son, Peter, and had to go off her meds. It wasn’t long after that when the hellish dream returned and plagued her. Only with her second pregnancy, for some reason, the anxiety medicine didn't do much to curb the nightmare so she had to endure it for the whole of the pregnancy. And it was always the same dream… nothing ever changed.

 

The little girl was sitting the ground asking Janelle to help her find her shoes and then Janelle would turn to look at something behind her, she'd look back and instead of seeing an adorable young girl, she saw the haunting face of a child with dead eyes, a sunken, sallow face, and a body that was nothing more than skin and bones. The stress of her second pregnancy even got to Wade.

 

He’d been asked to visit other churches with the possibility of him becoming the lead pastor. When Janelle was pregnant with Liza he would have never even considered going away. But twice when she was pregnant with Peter, Wade went away for three days at a time. Janelle knew it was because he needed a legitimate excuse to get away from Janelle and her sleep deprived, mother of a four-year-old/mommy-to-be anxiety. Towards the end of the pregnancy, Janelle begged Dr. Wingate to induce her labor two weeks before her scheduled due date. “Please I can’t sleep. My mom has had to keep Liza for me because I just can’t handle her right now. And Wade… God, Wade he’s trying but I can see it’s wearing on him, too. Please, Dr. Wingate, just induce me so I can get this thing out of me.”

 

But Wingate refused telling her it would be unhealthy for her soon-to-be born son. Janelle dreaded the idea of having to wait two more weeks or possibly even more. Then after her visit with Dr. Wingate, when Janelle was eating her dinner, her water broke and she went into labor. It was excruciating; not at all like when she had Liza.

 

With Liza she had a scheduled C-section. During the procedure Janelle wasn't quite aware of what was happening during her delivery. But when she went into labor with Peter it was a whole different matter. It was horrendous. Her labor pains were agonizing and she swore she was being ripped open but no matter how hard she pushed, Peter refused to be born. And Wade was there holding her hand talking her through the whole experience.

 

Then something happened in the middle of a contraction. Janelle passed out and when she woke up she saw that everyone in the room was rushing about. Wade had been led to the door and was being told to leave. "No, no. I want him to stay with her, please." Janelle was in such pain.

 

A nurse pushed something through her IV that made Janelle groggy. She fought sleep and forced her eyes to open. Only when she did get them open, she saw the girl with the angelic face standing at the foot of her bed right beside the doctor. Then, in the blink of an eye, the sweet faced girl was standing right next to Janelle, smiling.

 

"Can you help me find my shoes?"

 

Janelle started screaming and fought against the people trying to help her. "Go away! Go away!"

 

"Mrs. Thomlin, Janelle, you need to calm down. We're going to have to do an emergency C-section to get your baby out."

 

Janelle was terrified. She didn't understand what was happening. She could hear people telling her to be calm while the girl from her dreams kept asking over and over, "Can you help me find my shoes?"

 

Wade yelled, "Something's wrong. Help her. Help her."

 

Janelle turned her head just in time to see Wade being forcibly pushed out of the room by a nurse. But by now she was so tired all she wanted to do was sleep. Then she heard something fall to the floor and Janelle turned her head to see what had happened. That was when she saw the dead girl was there; the one with cold, hollow eyes. She was standing just inches away from her face.

 

Janelle could see into the pits where her sad eyes had once been. The girl reached out to touch her and screamed at Janelle, "Can you help me find my shoes?"

 

That's when Janelle's blood pressure dropped and she blacked out. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in a post-natal ICU room. She'd nearly died delivering Peter.

 

When they asked Janelle if she was ready to see her son, Janelle wasn't sure she wanted to; afraid the girl would be there waiting for her. But when Wade walked in with their son in his arms, all her worries faded away. Peter was perfect. It had just been a horrible delivery; unexpected in its unfolding. She didn't see the girl anywhere; but not for lack of looking. When she was sure the dead girl was nowhere around, Janelle was able to bask in the joy of her new child.

 

Wade went home to be with Liza and Janelle was able to sleep. It felt good. Then Dr. Wingate showed up at her room to wish her congratulations and to talk about what had happened. She mentioned to Janelle that she had been in the delivery room and witnessed what professionals would call a brief, high stress induced psychotic break. During which they had to put her completely out to deliver Peter for both their sakes.

 

Janelle remembered it. She knew she must have looked and sounded utterly mad but she also knew what she saw. She looked up at Dr. Wingate. "I don't want any more children. Do whatever you have to do. I can't do this anymore. I never had any issues like this before I had children. I didn't have problems between Liza and Peter. So fix it. Tie my tubes. Hell, remove my damn ovaries or something but I never want to have another child. And I want it done before I leave here. Do you understand?"

 

Dr. Wingate asked Janelle to reconsider; perhaps talk with Wade about it first. But Janelle was firm in her resolve. "No. He'll try to talk me out of it. This is my body, goddamn it and I will do with it what I want. I have two children. That's enough. I don't care what the hell you have to say to Peter but I want this done."

 

And though Dr. Wingate wasn't pleased with her patient's obvious desperate 'in the moment' decision, she agreed. She told Wade that they needed to keep Janelle an extra day or two because they needed to do a fairly quick procedure to check and make sure Janelle's uterus was alright after the C-section. The next day, Janelle was wheeled into an operating room and her tubes were tied; tubal ligation that was the proper term. And she was so relieved when it was done. Wade never knew what happened during the brief surgical procedure. Janelle never told him because that’s how she wanted it.

 

After taking six months off to recuperate from the whole ordeal, Janelle resumed to her work. Her first 'return' book was to illustrate a Christmas book even though it was mid-April. Everything was perfect… finally. Wade was busy with his work during the week and Janelle was busy with her work, too. But on Sundays after church the family spent every minute together from the last handshake at the steps of the church up until the lights were turned off in the kids' rooms. And then Janelle and Wade would have their 'them' time which was far more enjoyable now that Janelle didn't have to worry about getting pregnant.

 

That was nearly two years ago. Liza was now an overly inquisitive six years old and Peter was every bit a two year old and into everything. Janelle found it difficult to keep up with the pair of them especially with Wade so busy at his new job. A job that kept him away from them a lot more than when they lived in the Low Country area of South Carolina.

 

Truth be told, Janelle wasn't exactly sure if she was happy with the move her family had recently made to a small town called Pease Point near Black Mountain, North Carolina. It was Wade's hometown. What's more, it was the place where he came to decide he wanted to become a minister because his father, Lucas, had been the lead minister at Pease Point Baptist for many years. In fact, his great-great-grandfather had started the church when there was barely a handful of people living in the densely forested, mountainous area.

 

Being part of the ministry was sort of in the blood of the Thomlin men. Although, according to Wade, for a long time he didn't want any part of the ministry. When he was a teenager, he would have rather let his father pass along the reins to his Uncle Scott. But then when Wade was eighteen his sister, Allison, drowned. She was only ten. And that horrible incident is what prompted him to change the direction of his life; a life that was up until without much direction.

 

Wade told Janelle he made the life changing decision because of Allison's death. She was so young, ten, when she died and when she was no longer part of his life, Wade realized how precious life was; especially the lives of children. That's why he started his journey of spiritual discovery focused on ministering to at-risk youths. And though Allison’s dead had affected him in such a profound way, he rarely talked about it or her.

 

But Janelle wanted to know more about not only Allison’s drowning but also about Allison in general. Only whenever she brought it up Wade would say, ‘Please not now.’ And mentioning the child who had died at family gatherings in Pease Point never ended well. The family would stare at her like she’d invoked the name of Satan or something. Allison was a no-no subject because Lucas, Wade’s father, still had not gotten over it.

 

She did once find a photo of Wade when he was younger, perhaps seventeen, and his family at the Pease Point Baptist Church Homecoming. The whole group was laughing, making silly faces, and Allison was standing between Wade and some cousin of theirs. She had on a blue dress and was sticking out her tongue. Other than that, there weren’t constant reminders of Allison anywhere in the Thomlin home that Janelle could see.

 

And Janelle knew it was because of Lucas. Unlike Wade and his mother, Doris, who had picked themselves up and brushed themselves off, Lucas still mourned his lost child. For weeks after her death, he shut down completely. He spoke to no one. Instead he would go out to the family’s retreat, a cabin on a lake about six miles as the crow flies but more like fifteen miles by road from where the Thomlin’s actual home was.

 

Janelle recalled how she’d once asked Wade why he didn’t have any photos of Allison and he just sighed. Then he said, “The way I see her in my head, that laughing kid. That’s how I want to remember her. Some old school picture doesn’t capture Alli the way my memory does.” It was an honest response and Janelle couldn’t fault him or his family for wanting to only remember that funny little girl. Maybe it’s why they had that one photo of her being so silly out where people could see it because that’s how they all thought of her.

 

Adjusting to life in Pease Point was not easy for Janelle. Her entire life had been spent near the ocean. And she’d come to love the beachfront home she and Wade had made for their new family. Wade would go to work and Janelle would sit on the porch, feel the salty ocean breeze on her skin, and draw for hours while Liza and Peter played.

 

Then a few months ago when Wade was contacted by the Deacons at Pease Point Baptist asking him if he'd like to 'come home' and 'tend to the flock made up of the families with whom he had grown up' Wade was beside himself with excitement. And Janelle didn’t want to take that away from him because she’d known a day like this would come. So she put on a smile and agreed to the move hoping he'd tire of living in the boring community since he had lived in a culturally rich area with beautiful beaches and golf courses and everything that Pease Point didn't have for nearly seven years after marrying Janelle.

 

The time between coming to accept that she and her family were leaving and then actually leaving was an emotional roller coaster for Janelle. She intentionally took extra time to finish a huge mural commissioned by the City of Charleston just so she could keep from having to face packing and leaving. When she and Wade did get to packing up the belongings of their house, a sprawling ranch style home on high stilts to protect it from flood surge when the Atlantic got angry and unleashed itself on the quiet, broad beach just north of Charleston, Janelle found herself emotionally drained. And she knew it was partly because she was moving into a home she didn't get to pick; a home with a past.

 

Their new home wasn’t new. In fact for years it had only been a cabin about six miles from Pease Point as the crow flies but more like fifteen by road. It had been the cabin where the Thomlin family would go to enjoy quiet of the lake it overlooked with the scenic Appalachian Mountains as a backdrop. It had been wholly renovated because of Lucas. It was a place the hated and loved at the same time because it brought up such strong memories. So he went on a massive renovation mission. It took about eleven years, but when it was done, the simple cabin wound up being quite a lovely home.

 

The move had been stressful to say the least. Stress never helped Janelle so far as sleep was concerned. And after they were fairly settled in the newish place, Janelle still couldn’t sleep well. She felt isolated from everything. Just to get to Pease Point, proper, it took about thirty minutes their home was so removed from everything in the small town. Somehow the idea that there was nothing but forest for miles was terrifying instead of refreshing and freeing like Wade told her it would make her feel.

 

At least Janelle had somewhere she could go if she felt the need to be around culture and an actual, thriving city. Asheville was only about forty-five minutes in the opposite direction and it had a vivid art community as well as shops and restaurants. That was the one saving grace she found out in the middle of nowhere.

 

Only she couldn’t be in Asheville all the time. At night, in their new home, when everything was dark - and it got reAlli dark where they were - Janelle had serious issues. Every creak or groan of the house made her nervous. Wade would put his arm around her and say, "It's just the house settling, Babe. Relax. Go back to sleep." And she tried. But when the wind would rattle the screens on the window and Janelle would wake. Thank God she had her Xanax to get her through the nights and she had Liza and Peter to get her through those first few weeks because Wade wasn't home a lot.

 

After about a month had passed, Janelle looked, on the outside, to be completely enamored with the quaint mountain town and its people. But it was just a good front. Janelle didn’t feel at all settled and she had to pull herself together so she could start working on a new book for her publisher. It had to be completed within a narrow six-week frame of time. Summer was waning. Soon it would be autumn and in a few days, Liza would be starting kindergarten. Stress, stress, and more stress was piled onto Janelle’s plate; no doubt she was about to break.

 

Thankfully she had her Xanax that she could take at night she could float her mind back to the coast and dream she was lying on the beach soaking up the warm rays of the sun. But then, one night, it happened. She was dreaming of jet skiing across one of the inlets and Janelle heard a voice calling out to her. She couldn't understand what the person was saying so she spun the jet ski around and made her way to the shore.

 

She saw a little girl sitting on the ground with her legs drawn up next to her chest like she was trying to make herself as little as possible. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?” A small voice, a girl’s voice, called out.

 

“Sweetie, are you alright?” The girl looked up. Her sad face broke Janelle’s heart.

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Glancing at the girl’s bare feet then turning to look behind her thinking her parents were nearby Janelle asked, “Your shoes? Do you know where you saw them last?” Seeing no one, she turned back to the girl and was about to ask where her parents were but stopped before she could utter a word. The sweet face she’d just seen was now bloodied and battered and a pair of dead eyes stared back at her.

 

Janelle bolted upright. "Shit." Her heart was racing and she was sweating. "What the hell? What's going on?" She was confused. Why was she having the dream now? There was no way she could be pregnant. So why had it come back to her?

 

She took a deep breath and forced herself to calm down. Sitting in the dark as Wade slept, Janelle knew it had to be stress related. "That's got to be it. I’m just letting things get to me. I need to just chill out. Just chill, Janelle, chill."

 

Janelle felt around her bedside table for her anxiety medication. She popped a second pill into her mouth even though it had only been about three hours since she'd taken one. But she didn't care. She had to sleep and before long, fatigue and Xanax overtook her uneasiness. She fell asleep.

 

The next morning, Wade poured her a cup of coffee. “Hey, Babe. You look… rough.”

 

“Thanks. I would say something flippant but I’m too tired.” She looked at the clock. “Liza, the bus’ll be here soon. You don’t want you to be late for your first day of kindergarten.”

 

“Coming, Mommy!” Lisa walked into the kitchen all dressed and ready for her first day of school at big kid school. "Mommy can I have my Smackers for breakfast?"

 

Janelle shook her head. "Liza, don't you want to start your day with something like eggs and bacon and toast? It won't take me but a couple of minutes to make them for you."

 

"Mommy, please. I like my Smackers." Liza smiled up at her mom with a snaggle-toothed grin.

 

Janelle poured out a bowl cereal and put on the table. “Enjoy it today, Doodlebug, because tomorrow, it’s eggs and bacon. Understand?”

 

“Yes ma’am.” Liza wolfed down her sugary breakfast. “Done. Can we go to the bus stop now?”

 

Janelle picked up her cellphone. “Yep. Come on, Daddy. This is big day.”

 

Liza stopped and turned around. "But what about Petey? Can't he come out to see me get on the bus?"

 

Janelle shook her head. "No. And don't you dare wake him up just to do that, Liza. He's got at least an hour of sleep left in him and I want to enjoy it. So, it'll just be you, me, and Daddy. Okay?"

 

"Okay. Daddy hurry up." Liza tugged on her father's arm.

 

Wade shoved his keys into his pocket. “Okay, okay. I’m right behind you.”

 

Janelle pulled out her phone and started taking pictures of the momentous event. There were pictures of Daddy holding Liza; Liza pretending to hold Daddy; Mommy holding Liza; and, Liza showing off her backpack. And there were the groupies taken, too. And Wade, with the longest arms, was the official groupie taker. It was all great fun on a beautiful, sunny day.

 

They’d just finished taking pictures as the bus pulled up. When its doors swung open, Liza didn’t move. She was frozen in place. Janelle hugged her daughter and kissed her cheek. “Oh, Sweetie, don’t be afraid. It’s okay. You are going to have so much fun. Remember meeting Mrs. Abernathy? She was nice wasn't she? And remember seeing your desk with your name on it? That was pretty cool, too, huh? And you've got a cubby for your stuff. I promise, baby, you are going to have so much fun and this afternoon, I'll be right here waiting for you.”

 

"ReAlli?" Liza looked next to tears.

 

Janelle held back her own tears and nodded.

 

Wade got down to look at Liza in the face. "Alright now, you're Daddy's big girl aren't you?" Liza nodded. "Well, you go on now and just do it. You're going to be awesome."

 

Liza climbed aboard and the doors to the bus closed when she was seated. She waved goodbye to her parents as the bus started to pull away. That was when Janelle could feel tears spilling from her eyes.

 

“You alright. Jan?”

 

“Just a bit weepy. It'll pass. It's a mom thing. And I didn't sleep well."

 

"Well, it's also a dad thing, too. She's going to have so much fun and Janelle she's going to be fine. She's a great kid. Just look at her parents." Wade gave her a sly wink.

 

She laughed and wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. "Yeah, I guess so. Hey, At least I held it together for the pictures.” Janelle waved her cellphone in the air.

 

"That's great, Babe. You'll be able to put the pictures online and all your friends back in Charleston will give you 'likes' and comments and you'll feel a lot better."

 

Janelle laughed and started thumbing through the gallery of photos she taken. “Damn it. There's a smudge on my lens. I might not be posting as many as I'd like if I can't find some that aren't totally fucked.”

 

 “Hey, Mommy, watch the language." He laughed then gave her a kiss and climbed in his truck.

 

She laughed back. "Sorry. Just tired. And weepy. And pissed that my pictures aren't going to be awesome."

 

"Sorry. I know you’ll find at least one and it'll be perfect." Wade could see that Janelle was still upset. "Hey, you gonna be okay with Liza at school? Really, don’t bullshit me, okay?”

 

“Yeah, I'll be fine. Between Peter, my work, and now editing these damn pictures, I won't have time to be upset my baby is in school.”

 

“See there, things always have a way of working themselves out. I've reAlli got to get going. Call if you need anything. Bye.”

 

“Bye.” Stepping inside the house and Janelle sighed and looked around. This was the first time she’d ever reAlli been alone in the house since moving in. Granted Peter was there, but he was asleep. And he didn't exactly offer stimulating conversation unless it had to do with whatever toy he was playing with or whatever cartoon he was watching.

 

At least she had Dumbo, her lazy bloodhound. “Come on boy." She made a grand gesture and forced herself to laugh as she said, "Let's away to the sunroom, you and I.”

 

Dumbo waddled behind her into the spacious area with its floor to ceiling windows, granite fireplace, and panoramic view. It was the sort of place artists love because of all the natural light that came in from three sides. Wade had even found an artisan in Asheville to design a desk for Janelle with a slanted top that could swivel and lock in place so she'd be able to catch every ray of light she needed for her work. That special order desk cost close to $2,500 and Janelle loved it.

 

But so far as the room where the desk was, Janelle didn’t care for it one bit. It felt hollow and lonely. A tingle of nervous energy coursed through her because the house and this room in particular, even though it had what was probably a million dollar lake view, made Janelle feel a bit… off. Like something heavy was in the place with her. Then again, she was tired. She'd not slept well and that probably wasn't helping the situation.

 

Taking a seat at her drawing table, Janelle started sharpening her pencils and Dumbo plopped down by her feet. Looking around the room while the sharpener whined, she pondered the melancholy way the house and this room in particular made her feel. Sure she felt fatigued but the oppressed feeling lingered like a bad perfume.

 

She did have to give Lucas props, though. He and the contractors he hired had done an amazing job with the house. And the sunroom was the first improvement made by Lucas after Allison had died nearly sixteen years ago. It happened the summer Wade graduated high school. Thinking back a month or so ago, Janelle wished she could return to the moment she insisted Wade tell her everything about the ordeal and stop herself.

 

***

 

“Janelle, what part of it's upsetting to talk about it evades you?”

 

“What? It's not easy to talk about to me and yet you spent ten minutes chatting with that lady at Bi-Rite about how you were coping with living here since—” Janelle paused for dramatic effect. “—the tragedy? I swear everybody in this town knows all about the ‘Thomlin Tragedy’ except me. And I’m a fucking Thomlin, Wade.”

 

“Sorry. But it would’ve been rude to tell Mrs. Bolton to leave me alone.”

 

“Rude? Seriously? You can talk to her and not me? Wade, I’m your wife. I need to hear what happened from you. I know she drowned but her body was never found. I know it’s hard for you and your family. But Wade, I want to hear the story of Allison and this house… our house, from you. Your mom won't tell me and God knows your poor dad, apparently he gets all bat shit crazy if anyone mentions her around him. Although I wouldn’t know I've been told never to fucking mention her around him so I don’t know what he’d do. So tell me. Tell me anything so I can understand. I understand what it’s like to lose someone and to drowning, nonetheless. Remember I lived on the coast. Three of my friends drowned when I was in school. I underst-”

 

"No, you don't. You don't understand because they were your friends. Not your sister." Wade shook his head in frustration. “Fine. You want to know all the details. It was summer. I was eighteen and the day it happened I working on the lawnmower at my parent’s house. Alli asked me to drive her to the lake to practice diving off the floating dock." He sat down and stared at the ceiling. "Diving. That's all she wanted to do that summer. But I told her I was busy. Then she stomped away, hopped on her bike, and rode into the woods. I thought she was going to play in the tree fort. But…” Tears welled in his eyes.

 

“You couldn’t have known something was going to happen to her, Wade.”

 

“Yeah. But if I had just had taken her…”

 

“It was an accident.”

 

“No. It wasn't. Well, not exactly. It was around seven o’clock, Mom and Dad had just gotten back from doing something at the church. I had just gotten back to the house because I went the AutoZone to get a sparkplug for the lawnmower then I went out to Porter’s Piggy Palace to have some barbeque. When I got home, I asked where Alli was and Mom and Dad didn’t know. Then I heard thunder and told them I thought she was at the tree fort and that I’d go get her. But when I got to the fort, she wasn’t there. All I could think was I made her so mad she went riding blind into the woods and got herself turned around. Janelle, I cannot tell you how many times our parents told us if we got lost in the woods we were supposed to stop, sit, and wait to be found.”

 

“Wade, honey, she was a kid. She was probably scared. And Scared kids forget things.”

 

“I know. I walked every trail I knew of. I might have been out for an hour, an hour and a half. I don’t. But then the rain started and I ran home like a bat out of hell; even tripped, it was sort of muddy from the rain, and then I slipped and rolled into some thorn bushes. I wound up covered in mud. And Christ those thorns tore me up. See this scar?” He pointed to the edge of his left eye. "That was from one of them."

 

“Ouch.”

 

“Yeah, ouch. When I got home, I was trying to tell my parents that I couldn’t find Alli anywhere but my mom was more focused on me. I think it was because she was already worried about Alli and when she saw the blood on my arms and face mixed with the mud her mind went to the worst possible scenario because, I kid you not, she asked if I was attacked by a raccoon."

 

"A raccoon?"

 

"We get a lot of rabid animals around here. I think she thought if I was attacked by a rabid animal maybe Alli was or, hell... I don't even know what my mom was actually thinking." Wade laughed. "But now that you're a mom, you probably would have the same crazy thoughts, too, I guess. Then she went and got out the peroxide and told me to clean my cuts then she got on the phone to call the sheriff."

 

"Wait. She thought you'd been attacked by a rabid animal so she gave you peroxide to clean yourself up? What did she think? Did she think the peroxide was going to magically cure the virus that causes rabies?" Janelle grinned.

 

"Yeah, well, like I said she's a mom. It's what moms do, right?" He smiled and patted her leg. "After I was cleaned up, Dad and I left the house to search for her. By morning everybody was looking. The story of the missing minister’s daughter was everywhere. So a day or two later when a family from visiting from Oklahoma found a towel in a creek downstream from the lake with Allison written on the tag, they called it in.”

 

Wade shrugged and shook his head. “You know, for some reason no one ever thought to search the lake even though I told them she was talking about diving. I guess they figured since the lake is about fifteen from the house it was too far for her to have wound up. But I told them the west shore is only four miles away through the woods; if you know the trail. No one listened to me. When that towel was found my parents were devastated.” He stared out the huge window that looked over the lake.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sure someone looked but you know, once a grid is searched, they just move to the next one.”

 

“Yeah, I know. But after her towel was found they started dredging the lake. But two weeks after searching, the recovery group said the summer rains probably washed her body down river just like her towel. For all they knew, Alli’s body could’ve wound up in the French Broad River or even farther. You know, she might even be out there right now stuck under a rock or something.” Tears poured down Wade’s face as he thought about his sister being lost to the cold mountain water. “We kept searching but eventually my parents decided to bury a casket filled with her toys. I thought the day Alli went missing was the worst day of my life but it was that at the cemetery. And strangely enough it was one of the best, too.”

 

"What?"

 

"While they were lowering the casket, I felt something. I don't know. Call it the Holy Spirit. I didn't know what it was telling me at the time. It took a whole year of college to figure that out. But after seeing so many kids without someone to care for them wandering the streets, I realized that the 'something' I felt was telling me I needed to become a minister. I needed to help those who couldn't help themselves."

 

“Wade, that’s wonderful. I understand it’s hard to talk about what happened to Allison, but it led to something good, right?"

 

"Yes, for me, it did. I found my calling. I found you. But it hurts me because of what it did to my family was devastating."

 

Janelle sat there and put her head on his shoulder. "Did anyone ever consider that maybe she was kidnapped?”

 

Wade shook his head and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe.  But it’s unlikely because of people like Mrs. Bolton from the Bi-Rite. People around here would have seen anything out of the ordinary. Strangers, especially nearly twenty years ago, were definitely out of the ordinary. And since there’s basically only one road in or out of town, a strange car would have been seen. And none of the Park Rangers ever remembered seeing anyone matching Alli’s description walking the trails alone or with another person. And those guys might get a bad rap as the ‘not real police’ they’re are all over this place in the summer. Lots of people get lost out here.”

 

“Yeah, I guess it makes sense. This place isn't exactly a big city." Janelle grabbed her cup of tea and took a sip. "So why did Lucas do all the renovations to the cabin or the house or whatever we’re supposed to call it?”

 

“Well, it’s a house now. And the renovations are  kind of my fault. Dad went way off the deep end after I left for college. Maybe it was because it was so soon after everything. And Mom said he’d come here and sit on the porch for hours just staring at the lake. His sermons became depressing; dark and without hope. And so one day when I was home and we were sitting out here I suggested enclosing the porch. That way, he could come any time of year to think about her. It seemed like a good idea at the time but this place became his obsession. He was doing okay for about a year or so. Then my mom got sick and he went so deep down the rabbit hole the Deacons asked him to step down from the pulpit. They let him be an assistant pastor but he never gave sermons after that.” Wade started to cry and all Janelle could do was hold him.

 

***

 

Janelle was yanked from her sad recollection by Peter’s cries on the baby monitor. “Back to work, Dumbo. Come on boy.”

 

After changing Peter and putting him in the play area by her table, Janelle didn’t feel as moody. She was ready to work and an hour later and she was hunched over, focusing intently on her drawing when Peter let out a blood curdling scream. Janelle jumped and knocked over her coffee, ruining her drawing. “Damn it!”  Then Dumbo started barking.

 

“Hold on, Peter, Mommy’s coming.” As she made her way to her son, Janelle was hit with a wave of bone jarring cold air that dissipated as quickly as it came. It felt like something went through her and the hair on the back of her neck stood on end. And Dumbo kept up his wild barking. “Christ Almighty, Dumbo, shut up!”

 

After some cuddling and animal crackers, Peter calmed down and Janelle threw away the ruined drawing. She started over; intentionally ignoring the strange, eerie episode. A half hour later Peter started crying again and a quick glance at the clock let Janelle know there was nothing at all strange about his cries this time; he was hungry and tired.

 

Once Peter had been fed, changed, and put down for his nap, Janelle returned to the sunroom and sat on the couch. Away from her work and with Peter napping, her mind was free to wander back to the unnatural cold that passed by her. “No. It went through me.” Her mind was reeling. She felt out of sorts. She looked at Dumbo. “God, I’m just so tired.”

 

But Janelle pushed aside her fatigue and moodiness and focused on her work. She didn't look up until the clock on her phone went off telling her it was time to go pick up Liza from the bus stop. It had been a long day and she was relieved she could shift gears and just be a mom.

 

"Come on Dumbo. Let's go get Liza." She hooked Dumbo's lead to this collar and the two of them made their way up to the bus stop. Dumbo, however, decided he wanted to run to the backyard and she knew he was planning on going for a romp in the cold lake. "No, Dumbo. No."

 

She forcibly tugged Dumbo up to the bus stop and as soon as Liza stepped off the bus, Dumbo decided he didn't want to smell like the lake. He jumped up and nearly pushed Liza down. "Well, looks like someone is almost as glad to see you as I am. Come here honey." She hugged Liza hard and felt better. "Okay now, let's get inside and you can tell me all about your first day while we eat some Oreos. How's that sound?"

 

Later that evening Wade came home to the sound of Peter squealing with laughter because Dumbo was licking his toes as scooted around the kitchen. And Liza ran to Wade with wide opened arms to give him a big hug. "I take it someone's day was special?"

 

"Yes, Daddy. I got to sit at my desk and we practiced getting in a line and then going to the reading circle and we colored and we had lunch and then I came home."

 

Janelle grinned. She was busy chopping mushrooms. "Then when she got home we celebrated with Oreos."

 

"No. Not Oreos! How could you? They're my favorite." Wade winked at Liza.

 

"Don't worry Daddy, there are some left for you."

 

"Good." Wade put Liza down and hugged Janelle around her waist. "I take it you made it through your day without incident?"

 

Janelle smiled. She considered telling him about the weird episode with Peter but chose to keep it to herself. "Pretty uneventful. I did spill my coffee on a piece I was almost done with so I have to start over but all in all, things were pretty good."

 

"Excellent. Now please tell me dinner will be ready soon. I'm starving."

 

The family sat down and enjoyed a dinner of roast chicken with mushroom sauce. And then around seven o’clock Liza started looking weary. When she yawned, Janelle tapped her daughter on the shoulder. "Alright, Miss Liza, it's time to bed with you. You've got another big day of school tomorrow."

 

"Alright Mommy." Liza ran to Wade and gave him a hug. "Night Daddy."

 

"Night Sweetie."

 

Janelle scooped Liza up in her arms and carried her up the stairs to her room. She sighed heavily and rolled her eyes when she saw that apparently a tornado had touched down in Liza's room. "Honey, why is all your stuff out of your closet? Help me put it back, please." Janelle and Liza straightened up the area in front of the closet then Janelle tucked her daughter in and gave her a good night kiss. "See you tomorrow, Sweetie."

 

She reached up to turn off the bedside lamp but Liza grabbed her hand. "No, Mommy, I want it on."

 

"But you've got your nightlights, Liza. All that light will make it difficult for you to sleep."

 

"No it won't I promise."

 

"Fine. Whatever. But if you wake up a grumpy-Gertie tomorrow, it's not my fault." She winked at Liza then closed the door.

 

Janelle and Wade watched television while Peter had his nighttime bottle. When he was done, she put him down on the floor by Dumbo and snuggled up next to Wade. Then she realized she forgot to grab the basket of laundry from the hall bathroom when she tucked Liza in bed.

 

With the basket in her hands and just about ready to head back down the stairs, Janelle heard Liza moving around in her room. "That girl. She is never going to wake up in the morning."

 

Janelle opened the door expecting to see Liza playing with her dolls. But she was sound asleep. Thinking it was her imagination playing tricks on her, Janelle turned to head out of the room until something caught her eye. There, in front of the closet door, where she and Liza had picked up all her toys and whatnots and put them inside were all of Liza's shoes; lined up in a row, neat as could be.

 

The hair on the back of Janelle's neck stood up like earlier. But before she got herself worked up over something that was probably explainable, she counted to ten, turned, and headed towards Liza's door to leave the room.

 

Liza woke up and saw her. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. "Hi Mommy. What're you doing in here?"

 

Janelle whispered and went to her daughter. She put down the laundry basket. "Nothing. I just came in to make sure there weren't any dirty socks under your bed. But I didn’t find a single one." She tucked Liza, who was already starting to fall asleep, back beneath her covers. "Liza, can you tell me something?"

 

"Mmm hmmm."

 

"Why did you put all your shoes out like that in front of your closet door?"

 

Liza rubbed her eyes and yawned. "I didn't, Mommy."

 

"Well, who did?"

 

"She did." Liza was fighting falling asleep.

 

"Who?" But Liza was already asleep. An electric-like sensation wrapped around Janelle. She just stood there for a moment trying to process what had happened. “You’re making yourself nuts, Janelle. Just leave.”

 

Janelle walked out and told herself to relax. She reminded herself that Liza was always playing with little imaginary friends. Last month she had an elephant friend she insisted needed buckets of water or else he'd shrivel up and die. And to keep her daughter happy, Janelle grabbed all the large pots and bowls she could find and filled them with water. Liza was pleased and went about her day chatting with her elephant. Her elephant friend only lasted about three days.

 

Thinking about that silly elephant helped put things in perspective. After all, Liza just had her first day of school and she did mention how her teacher had all the children line up their backpacks and lunchboxes in a neat way right in front of the cubbys, which were designed for smaller items. "That's gotta be it. She's taking the neatness thing to heart. Maybe having her clean up before she went to be minded her of what her teacher told her. Yeah, that's gotta be it."

 

Janelle carried the laundry downstairs laughing at how ridiculous she'd been for being such a wuss. When she got to the kitchen she groaned then called for Wade. "Hey, honey, can you come help me with the laundry?"

 

Wade yelled out from his office. "Sure thing. Let me just save my work. Don't want to lose it."

 

A minute later he was standing beside her. "Laundry, again? How is that even possible?"

 

"That's what happens when you have two children. It's some sort of weird exponential thing. Two kids equals four times the laundry twice as often." Both she and Wade laughed at her 'Mommy Math'. Wade opened the back door and helped her carry the laundry outside to the door that led to the small room where the washer and dryer were. "Honey, explain to me again why your dad put the laundry room outside?"

 

He laughed. "Well, remember this was just a getaway sort of place. We didn't do a lot of laundry and most of it was washing the towels and clothes we wore when were at the lake." He looked behind him at the flat, dark spot in the night made visible only by the soft glow of the moon above. Wade opened the sliding glass door that led into the tiny room.

 

"Yeah, but for Pete's sake, Wade, it's so tiny in here, Wade. There's barely enough room for me to turn around and actually fold the clothes. Your dad could've made it just a foot or two wider or something. There's lots of space down here." She hit the wall to her right. "I mean it sounds kinda hollow over there. Can't we expand the room?"

 

Wade shook his head. "Sorry. We can't. Something about support beams and joists and whatnot because it's where the most weight of the house is.” He patted the wall and stared at it for a moment. "If I could expand it you know I'd do it. I'd do anything for you. But you know what? This room isn't too small. And this wall is in the perfect place to do this." Without warning, he pushed Janelle against the wall and started kissing her.

 

Janelle was taken completely off guard. "What're you doing, Wade?"

 

He tugged at her jeans, unzipping them and pushing them down her legs. "What do you think I'm doing?" He picked her up with one hand, pressing her against the wall and used his other hand to loosen his own pants.

 

"Wade, but..." It had been a long time since Wade had been aggressive when it came to making love. "The kids... are..." He stopped her speaking when he planted a powerful kiss on her lips. She could feel his arm around her holding her there against the wall. With his free arm, he lifted her leg up so she could feel him.

 

Janelle looked into his eyes. They were wholly with passion the likes of which they'd not shared in quite a while. And before she could say another word he found his way into her and made love to her right there, pressing her body against the wall. Janelle was speechless. It felt good. No. It was better than good.

 

It was amazing. And she enjoyed letting him have his way with her. She knew her back would probably hurt tomorrow and considering how he was going at her, Wade might need to use a heating pad, too. But it was worth it. When he was done, Wade gently loosened his grip on her waist and let Janelle's feet touch back down on the floor. He smiled, kissed her, and then zipped up his pants. "Sorry, don't know what came over me."

 

Janelle laughed. "Well, maybe you should help me with the laundry more often." She put back on her own clothes.

 

Wade's eyes lit up. "Maybe. I mean we wouldn't have to worry about the kids walking in. And it is sort of hot and close in here. You know, the more I think about it, I think this is a perfect spot for getting away from the kids." He patted the wall, smiled, and looked around. Then he grabbed the laundry basket and put the clothes in the washer as Janelle grabbed the detergent."

 

She gave him a playful little kiss. "Well, at least we can walk away smelling all April Fresh or Lavender Blossomy or whatever scented additive I picked up at the store." She winked and stepped out of the room into the now cold early autumn night. "Shit, it's chilly."

 

Wade laughed. "We should bring coats next time. Maybe some wine, too."

 

"You're nuts."

 

"Yeah, but you love me. Nuts and all."

 

"Jesus, Wade. You're exasperating. Let's get inside. Peter might already be awake."

 

The two of them made their way back inside the house. Janelle felt calmer. More focused. They sat on the couch and watched a ridiculous movie and laughed while Peter played away the last bit of energy he had. He fell asleep in Wade's arms.

 

Wade and Janelle walked up the stairs to Peter's room and tucked him into his crib. After giving him a kiss the couple retired to their room where Janelle fell asleep for the first time in quite a while without any sort of pharmaceutical assistance. And she slept all night, without incident.

 

Waking up the next morning, Janelle felt somehow lightened. Wade was already in the shower getting ready to head to the church. She caught a glimpse of him and grinned. Maybe all she needed was a good lay to calm her weary mind. "Well," she said to the air around her, "technically I suppose it was more like a good... press." She giggled. Today was going to be a good day.

 

Janelle made her way into the kitchen and pulled out the carton of eggs from the refrigerator. "Liza, hurry up, honey. Your bus will be here in about thirty minutes and you've got to have your breakfast." She turned on the gas cooktop and placed a skillet on the burner. After five minutes passed and Liza still hadn't made her appearance, Janelle turned off the burner and made her way up the stairs.

 

"Liza." She pushed open the door to Liza's bedroom and found her daughter dressed and sitting in the middle of her room with the shoes that had been lined up in front of the bed now in a circle around her; dress shoes, tennis shoes, sandals, and even her little princess slippers. Liza had her backpack at her side and was talking to one of her dolls. What the hell?

 

"Liza, honey, what are you doing? I've been waiting for you to come down to get your breakfast." Liza didn't acknowledge her mother's presence. "Liza," Janelle reached out pick up Liza, "young lady, you need to come dow--"

 

Before Janelle's hand made contact, Liza turned around and looked at her mother. "I'm coming, Mommy."

 

Janelle stepped away from Liza; startled. Although she wasn't exactly sure why because Liza wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. She was always talking to her dolls and her various stuffed animals. But there was something about the tone of her voice. It was… odd. The words landed on her ears in a weird way; oppressive almost. "Good. You need to have a real breakfast to get your day going in the right direction."

 

"Sure, Mommy." Liza stood up and hugged her mother around her legs. "Can I have sausage? I like to dunk it in my egg stuff." The weird sensation faded immediately.

 

Janelle laughed trying to sound lighthearted. "Sure. I bought some of the little links you like the other day. Come on." She reached down and picked up Liza. They got to the stairs and Janelle put her down. "Alright, lil' monster. You've got to do the stairs yourself. Mommy's back is sore today."

 

"Sorry, Mommy." Liza took off down the stairs.

 

Janelle groaned when she saw Liza didn't have her backpack with her. "I'll be right down, Sweetie. You forgot your bag." She went back into Liza's room and saw the pink and purple bag sitting in the center of her circle of shoes and grabbed it. Then, by chance, she looked in the direction where Liza had been deep in conversation with her dolls and realized there wasn't a doll there.

 

In fact, all Liza's dolls and stuffed animals were either on her bed, on the shelf, or Janelle assumed, in her toy chest. "Who was she talking… no… don’t even think about Janelle. You have got to get out of this house. You're going to go bat shit crazy if you don't."

 

She made her way to the kitchen with Liza's backpack in her hands. "Here you go. Can't forget this." Janelle went back to the cooktop, turned on the gas burner, and commenced to making a fried egg and two sausage links for her daughter.

 

Wade walked in a minute or so later carrying Peter. "Guess you were too wrapped up in getting someone her breakfast to hear this little fella."

 

"What? Was he crying?"

 

"Well, no. It's more like he was 'la, la, la-ing'. I guess that's his new thing." Wade brought Peter to Janelle and went to hand him over to her. But just as he was about to make the handoff, a burst of blue natural gas fuel flames shot up and nearly got Wade's hand and Peter's back. "Shit! What the hell?"

 

Janelle jumped and grabbed Peter out of Wade's arms. "Oh my God, Peter, are you alright?" She looked at Peter to make sure he'd not been singed by the flame. And when she saw her son was alright, she looked at Wade. "How about you? You ok?"

 

"Yeah, I guess. What was that?"

 

"I don't know. It’s happened a couple of times before. Sometimes it's like the line gets a big shot of gas and it goes poof."

 

"This has happened before? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

"Well, it didn't seem like a big deal. It's only been two maybe three times."

 

"Damn, Janelle, that's one or two times too many. You should've let me know. I'll call the gas company and see if they can send someone out here today or something."

 

"Sure. Oh, wait. I was thinking of asking your mother to watch Peter so I could go to Asheville today. I need to get a few supplies and I think I'm starting to suffer from cabin fever."

 

"All right I'll call and see if someone can come out tomorrow."

 

"Thanks." Janelle finished cooking the sausages for Liza and watched her daughter eat them as quickly as possible. When she was done with her breakfast, Janelle put Liza's plate in the sink and reached into the refrigerator to grab Peter's bottle because he was getting fussy. "Wade can you take Liza to the bus stop? It's too chilly to take him out right now."

 

"Yeah, no problem. Come on, Liza." He put his hand out for his daughter.

 

Liza ran to Janelle and gave her a kiss. "Bye, Mommy. Have a good day."

 

"You, too."

 

Janelle watched Wade walk hand-in-hand up to the bus stop with Liza. Once they were at the top of the drive, he sat down on the giant rock that marked the entrance to their property and put Liza on his lap. Even from so far away, Janelle could tell he and Liza were having fun waiting for the bus to arrive. Wade had his arms around her and was, she assumed, singing one the dorky songs he liked to make up on the spot because the two of them were swaying from side to side on the rock.

 

She smiled and looked at Peter. "Okay, big boy, Mommy is going to feed you then call Grandma so you two can spend some quality time together. And so Mommy can get away from all this damn beautiful solitude."

 

Peter clapped his hands together and reached out for his bottle. "Who's the hungry boy? Hmmm? Peter is that's who." Janelle glanced out the window once again when she caught a glimpse of 'school bus orange' out of the corner of her eye. She watched Liza get on the bus and smiled.

 

But then right after the bus passed by she saw something in the road. It was there and then it was gone. For an instant she thought it was a person. Maybe a child. Maybe a kid had gotten off the bus or something. She looked again and it was gone. "Okay, you are losing your ever loving mind woman. Yeah, you have got to get out of this house for the day."

 

Wade wandered back inside and grabbed his travel mug. "I'm heading in now." He kissed Peter on his forehead and gave Janelle a kiss on her cheek. "I hope you have fun doing whatever it is you're going to do in the city. I assume by 'getting supplies' you really mean you're going to get your nails done or something."

 

"Why, Wade, I'm shocked." Janelle grinned. "Okay, so maybe I'm going to get my nails done, too. After I get some supplies."

 

"Right." He laughed then headed towards the door. "Oh, wait, crap. I forgot I'm supposed to head up to Johnson City this afternoon. The Appalachian Association of Baptists are meeting tonight at six or maybe it's seven and the Deacons want to make sure I'm there to be all social and whatnot."

 

Janelle sighed. "So, no to my day in Asheville?"

 

"No, no. Not that. I don't think I'd have to leave until something like four. Unless you're getting your nails done twice or something. I just wanted to make sure you knew in advance if you were planning a big dinner."

 

"Oh, okay. How long do you think you’ll be?"

 

"About an hour or so to get there. Few hours of schmoozing. Probably dinner. I might come in around midnight maybe one."

 

"Midnight? Geez, Wade. That's really late. I don't like the idea of you driving along all these twisty-winding roads at night. It's just so dark."

 

"Jan, babe, you know I did learn to drive in the mountains? I'm a big boy. I think I can do it."

 

"You know what I mean." Janelle put Peter down in his playpen with his bottle. "I'd rather you stay overnight in Johnson City and come back in the morning. It would just make me feel better to know you're not driving around out there where stupid drunk people might be."

 

Wade sighed and shook his head. "Alright. Even though I've driven these roads thousands of times and I've probably even driven them with stupid drunk people nearby, but I'll stay overnight. I'm sure one of the Deacons knows somebody I can stay with. And if not, I'll just get a hotel room."

 

Janelle smiled. "Good. That makes me feel better. So, why don't you go grab your overnight bag?"

 

"Yes, Mother." Wade laughed, slumped his shoulders forward, and made his way to the bedroom like he'd been scolded. A few minutes later he walked out. "All packed. Got fresh undies. And a shirt. And pants."

 

"Toothbrush?"

 

He rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance. "Yup. Got it. And my floss, too. And now, I've really got to get going. Have fun today, alright."

 

"I will. And you, too. Doing whatever it is you do at those ever so exciting meetings."

 

"I will. Scout's honor. I will do everything in my power to make the most of the evening." Wade smiled then left.

 

Once Wade was on his way, Janelle grabbed her phone and called her mother-in-law to ask if she would mind watching Peter. And, as expected, Doris was beside herself with joy to get to watch him. "Great. You have no idea how much I need a little break. I think I just need to go out and be Janelle for a while. Being 'mommy' every second of the day can wear a girl down." Doris laughed.

 

After she showered Janelle let Dumbo run around the backyard so he could splash about in the lake while she got Peter ready and put him in his car seat. "Oh, shit." She looked back at Peter. "Mommy did not say that. Nope. But, Mommy did forget to bring Dumbo in. You stay right here. I'll be back in a second."

 

She ran through the house, out to the back patio, and called down to Dumbo. "Come on, boy. Time to come in." Dumbo looked up at her and turned back around. "Hey, you. Don't you do that to me. I know you can hear me. Come here now."

 

Dumbo turned once again to look at her then went back to splashing and playing around one of the huge rocks that was on the shore. "Fine. You stupid animal. But no chewies for you, mister." She made her way down the stairs. Once her feet were on the ground she clapped her hands but Dumbo still did not respond. "Dumbo!"

 

Something in the sound of her voice got his attention because Dumbo turned around and tried to shake all the water off his body. Then he started waddling towards her. He was still wet and there was no way she was going to let that dog into the house where he'd probably lie down on the couch and transfer the stink of the lake onto the cushions. "No. Come here." She made her way to the laundry room and opened the door.

 

There were a couple of clean towels in the dryer and she grabbed one to get as much lake water off Dumbo as possible. He wandered over to the washing machine and started sniffing at the ground. "Dumbo, stay still. You're not making this easy." He tried to nose his way in between the wall and the washing machine. "Damn it. Come here." She tugged him back to her but he pawed at the floor.

 

"Do you smell a mouse or something? Great. That's all I need. Mice. Wonderful." Once Dumbo was dry enough that she didn't think he'd leave too much of a stinky smell, she wrapped him up in the towel and carried him up the stairs to the back porch. "Shit, dog. You are fat."

 

She was huffing and puffing by the time she opened the door and got him inside. "Okay, Dumbo, that's it. You're going on a diet. Starting tomorrow. Today, I'm getting a manicure." She laughed and led him into the sunroom. "Do not sit on that couch." She stared at him like he was actually going to listen.

 

Back at the car she saw that Peter was busy playing with his set of plastic keys. "Okay, lil' dude. Time to see Grandma." Janelle made her way down the long drive and pulled onto the road.

 

Peter was chatting away, having a grand time, and Janelle looked up into the rearview mirror at him. When she put her eyes back on the road, Janelle nearly had a heart attack because saw a kid standing in the middle of the road. She slammed on her brakes and swerved to avoid hitting the child. When the car came to a stop, she jumped out of the car to look for the child thinking for sure she must have taken her out. But there was no one. Janelle sat on the bumper of her car and tried to catch her breath. She was shaking. "Shit."

 

Once she was back in the car she went over the moment again and again in her head. "I know what I saw. There was someone in the road. There was." A few minutes passed and she started to doubt herself. "No. Janelle, think about it. It had to be my imagination. That's all. Yeah. Just my imagination." She reached into her purse and grabbed her emergency bottle of Xanax. Lucky it was a tiny pill because she didn't have anything to drink with her.

 

Janelle dropped Peter off at her in-laws' house and didn't mention a thing about whatever it was that had happened. She just smiled, gave Peter a kiss, and got in her car. “Maybe I should find a psychiatrist here? Maybe my antidepressant needs to be upped or something.” She drove in a bit of a fog along the road to Asheville. She wondered how people could thrive off of stress.

 

No, stress was not helpful to Janelle. She just wanted to take a break from everything and hoped spending the day wandering around the quaint little city, maybe grabbing a glass of wine or two at the day spa, and enjoying a couple hours of pampering would help ease her weary mind. By the time she was at the spa the Xanax had started kicking in, big time. After a glass of wine she was so relaxed she felt like she was floating. When the spa attendant asked if she wanted a second glass, Janelle pondered the idea but decided against it knowing she'd have to drive home in about three hours.

 

One mani-pedi and a facial later, Janelle was feeling more like her old self. She even wandered down to a styling salon and got her hair trimmed. Even though Wade wouldn't be home tonight, he'd be home tomorrow afternoon and she wanted him to see she wasn't as frazzled as she had been over the past week or so.

 

She popped into a lingerie store and found a delicate looking and yet sexy at the same time, negligée. The attendant grinned when Janelle picked it up. "Anniversary coming up soon?"

 

"No. Just a break from being Mommy and Daddy. That's all."

 

"Well, those are better than anniversaries, in my opinion. And," the attractive young woman walked over to a different rack, "if you really want to cast aside your Mommy-chain, why not try something like this?" She pulled out a lacy negligée that left very little to the imagination."

 

"Umm, I don't know. He used to like that sort of thing but now. But I’ve got the Mom-bod now and..."

 

"Oh, come on, if that's a Mom-bod, where the hell do I sign up?"

 

Janelle laughed. "Okay, I know you're supposed to try and sell the customers on the risqué, more expensive items but I'm not going to be seduced by your marketing."

 

The lady giggled. "Trust me, this has nothing to do with trying to sell someone something I don't think they'd look good in. Otherwise, I'd never have repeat customers. Nope. I really think this would be perfect. And you really don't have a Mom-bod. Honest."

 

Janelle let out a long sigh. "Fine, you sold me. I'll take... both of them. Who knows? Maybe tomorrow I'll feel sexy and lacy or maybe I'll feel delicate and satiny." The lady put the two items into a bag and Janelle left the shop feeling good about her purchases.

 

All in all, her day of 'her' wasn't half bad. Janelle looked at her watch knowing that she'd given herself just enough time to get back home before Liza's bus arrived. It wasn't until she got about a mile from home that she was overcome with an uneasy feeling. "Son of a bitch. Janelle. You have got to stop this. Let it go."

 

She made her way down the long driveway leading to the house and was barely out of the car when she saw the bus just coming around the bend. She ran to the house and tossed her purse, her bag with the lingerie in it as well as a bag filled with actual art supplies into the foyer before turning to sprint up the drive to greet Liza.

 

But before she was halfway up the long, steep hill, she saw Liza was already getting off the bus. Janelle waved at the bus driver who waved back and gave her a huge smile revealing, even from as far away as she was, that she was missing a few teeth. Janelle shuddered a bit. "Oh, mountain folk. What a lovely gene pool." Then she snorted with laughter as she thought about a few of the 'island folk' she'd grown up around. They weren't exactly beacons of beauty either. But they were nice and Janelle was pretty sure Liza's bus driver was also nice. Janelle shook her head knowing she’d gone straight to judging someone before getting to know them.

 

Liza was standing by the huge rock where she and her father had spent the morning waiting for the bus. "Hey, Sweetie."

 

"Hey, Mommy. Oooh, I like your hair. It's pretty."

 

"Well, thank you. I hope your daddy notices when he gets home tomorrow."

 

"Tomorrow? He's not here tonight?"

 

"Nope. He's got something he's got to go to this evening. So he's going to come home tomorrow instead of driving late at night. It’s safer."

 

"Oh, ok." Liza turned to her left and frowned. "No. Maybe. I’ll look."

 

"What?" Janelle took Liza's hand.

 

"Huh?"

 

"You just said you were going to look for something. What do you need?"

 

Liza let loose of her mother's hand and skipped to the house. "Nothing Mommy. I wasn't talking to you."

 

"Okay." Janelle shrugged. "Hey, before you get all comfy in front of the TV, we need to go to Grandma and Grandpa's to get Peter."

 

"But... fine. Can I put my bag in my room?"

 

"Sure. I'll let Dumbo out. Poor thing probably has to tinkle so badly he'll trip over his ears to get out." Janelle  opened the door to the back patio. "Okay, you, do not go romping in the lake do you hear me?" But Dumbo plodded down the stairs and started making his way to the lake. "HEY! No! Stop, right there. I don't have enough towels to keep you dry you stupid animal."

 

Dumbo stopped and turned around. Then he made his way to a clump of bushes near the entrance to the laundry room and relieved himself after which he went to the side of the house and started pawing at the wall where it connected with the foundation.

 

"God, I hate mice. Mental note: call exterminator."

 

"I'm ready to go Mommy." Liza was standing on the patio waiting.

 

"Okay, be right up. Come on Dumbo." He kept digging at the foundation. "Dumbo. I'm really tired of this." She whistled and got the dog's attention then the two of them, Master and pet made their way up the stairs.

 

After collecting Peter and chatting with the grandparents for a while Janelle was ready to call it a day. "Well, thanks, I've gotta get these two home. Maybe we'll take a detour and pick up some of that terrific fried chicken for dinner since Wade isn't going to be home tonight."

 

Lucas looked at Janelle and frowned. "He won't? What's he up to?"

 

"He's got some sort of thing in Johnson City tonight. Some Appalachian Baptist something or other."

 

"Hmmm." Lucas stared off into the distance for a moment then glanced at the calendar. "But it’s just September. Odd."

 

"What?"

 

"Nothing I guess. Maybe I've been out of the loop too long. I didn't think the AAB met until mid-October. That's all."

 

"Well, maybe they changed the date." Doris Tomalin said as she pooh-poohed her husband's weary nature. "Don't listen to Lucas. He's always worrying about something or other. It's just his way." She gave Peter a kiss and handed Liza a pear she'd picked off the pear tree that grew in their backyard.

 

"Can I have it Mommy?" Liza looked up at Janelle.

 

"Sure. It's not like it's a candy bar. Grandma Doris knows I'm not a fan of those things." Janelle winked at Doris because the two of them had enjoyed more than a couple of Mr. Goodbars while sitting out on the porch when she and Wade lived in South Carolina.

 

Janelle packed the kids up in the car and said her goodbyes before heading down Route 7 to pick up some of what she had decided was the best tasting fried chicken… ever. It was even better than her own mother’s only she’d never admit that unless pressed by the Almighty Himself.

 

The kids were thoroughly worn out by the time they got home. And so was Janelle even though it was only about eight o’clock. She decided to put her children to bed after they watched some ridiculous DVD with princesses and unicorns and a dragon who only liked to eat peanut butter cookies.

 

Peter was asleep before his diaper had been changed and Liza thought that was terrifically funny. “How come he can go pooh when he’s asleep? I can’t do that.”

 

Janelle laughed. “Honey, you used to. Trust me. It’s just a thing babies do. Their bodies say ‘go’ so they ‘go’. One day he’ll be big enough that he won’t do that anymore. And between the two of us, I hope it’s a lot sooner than later. Now, let’s get you your bath. Then it’s off to bed with you.”

 

Liza ran to the bathroom and picked up her bottle of bubblegum scented bubble bath. “Can I use it tonight?”

 

“Sure, why not?”

 

Janelle ran the tub and filled it with enough warm water and bubble bath solution that it had a thick, foamy layer of bubbles, just perfect for a little kid. “Okay, climb on in. But no splashing. I don’t want water all over the floor, okay?”

 

“Okay, Mommy.”

 

The phone rang. “Must be Daddy. I’m going to go grab the phone. You stay here. Do not get out.” Janelle went to the bedroom and grabbed the phone. The Caller ID showed Wade’s number. “Hi.”

 

“Hi. How’s everything there?”

 

“Good. We watched your favorite DVD tonight. Had some Chuck Cluck Chicken. God, that stuff is so good. And now, we’re all pretty worn out. How about you?”

 

“Good, good. Long ride.”

 

Janelle glanced at her watch. “So, did you sneak out to call home?”

 

“What?”

 

“Of the meeting. Did you sneak out to call home?”

 

“Oh, the meeting, yeah. They’re at a break right now. I’m just sitting around waiting for them to start back up.”

 

“Okay. I hope it’s…”

 

“Damn it.”

 

Janelle heard something fall in the background. “What? Is something wrong, Wade?”

 

“Hold on.” There was a moment of silence. Janelle heard what sounded like a door being slammed shut in the distance. “Sorry. I dropped my glass and got water all over my pants.”

 

“Sorry. Maybe you should take it as a sign. Bow out of the meeting and leave that way you could…

 

“Damn it. Hold on a second.” Wade’s phone landed on something Janelle assumed was a table. Janelle stared at her reflection in the mirror. She really liked her new haircut. “Sorry. What were you saying, Janelle?”

 

“Nothing, really. Is everything all right, Wade? You sound, I don’t know… frustrated.”

 

Wade cleared his throat. “No, there’s just this person here who is driving me nuts. You know the kind, they just will not shut up even when you give them ‘the look’.”

 

Janelle laughed. “Yeah. I know that kind. They are annoying. Sorry. I guess it’s because you’re the new kid on the block or pulpit.”

 

Wade laughed so hard he snorted. “I guess so. I’ve got to get going. Wet pants and all, I’ve got to go back to the meeting.” He groaned.

 

“Wanna say goodnight to Liza first?” Janelle walked into the bathroom and smiled at Liza. “I’m gonna put you on speaker. Say hi to Daddy, Liza.”

 

“Hi, Daddy.”

 

“Hey, Sweetie. What’re you doing?”

 

Liza glanced at the bubbles in her hands then looked up at Janelle. “I’m taking a bubble bath.”

 

“What? What’d she say? I couldn’t understand her, Liza. There’s some sort of interference on the line.”

 

“She’s taking a bubble bath.”

 

Wade spoke up. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear you guys. Hello? Hello?”

 

Janelle sighed and looked at Liza. “Mountains. They’re just not good for cell phones.” She spoke directly into the phone even though she knew Wade probably couldn’t hear her. “Well, gonna hang up now. Love you.”

 

Janelle let Liza play a little longer and then said, “Enough, you’re going to turn into a prune. Bedtime, missy.”

 

Once Liza was dried and dressed for bed, Janelle tucked her in. “Alright let’s say our prayers.”

 

Liza lay in her bed and put her folded hands up to her chin. “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless Mommy and Grandma and Grandpa and Peter and my teachers and the lady in the cafeteria and Dumbo. Amen.”

 

“Didn’t you forget somebody?”

 

Liza furrowed her brow then added quickly, “Oh, and Daddy. God bless Daddy.”

 

“Well, that was less than enthusiastic. Are you unhappy because Daddy isn’t here to tuck you in?”

 

Liza turned away from her mother. “No. Night, night Mommy.”

 

Janelle kissed Liza and made her way back downstairs to pour herself a glass of wine. And why shouldn’t she have a glass of wine? It would be the perfect way to wrap up her day. Chardonnay in hand, Janelle made her way up back upstairs to her bedroom. She was so tired she wondered if she would actually finish the glass she’d poured.

 

She slid beneath the covers and sipped on her wine and listened to soft music. Before long, Janelle was in a deep sleep. Around two o’clock she heard something that roused her from her sleep. Dumbo was on the floor, completely out of it. He wasn’t exactly the world’s greatest guard dog. “You lazy old thing.” She got up and nudged her hound dog. He wiggled. “No, no. Don’t worry yourself, Dumbo. I’ve got this. You just keep sleeping.”

 

Janelle made her way down the hall and heard something. It sounded like Liza talking, only her voice sounded different. Muffled. “Liza?” She continued down the hall to Liza’s room. When she opened the door she saw that Liza had, once again put all her shoes out. This time they were in a neat little row along the edge of her bed. “Liza, are you awake?”

 

She got closer to Liza’s bed and realized she wasn’t there. “Liza?” Janelle turned when she heard her daughter in Peter’s room. “Wonderful, I’ll bet she’s checking to see if he poohed in his diaper.”

 

Janelle opened the door to Peter’s room. “Liza?” She wasn’t by Peter’s crib. Nor was she anywhere in Peter’s room that she could tell. “Liza? Where are you?”

 

“Mommy?”

 

Janelle turned around quickly expecting to see Liza standing behind her. But she wasn’t there. “Liza. This isn’t funny. Where are you?”

 

“Mommy?” There was something in the tone of Liza’s voice that worried Janelle.

 

“Liza, where are you? Tell me right now. This isn’t funny. You know I don’t like it when you play hide and go seek. Especially in the dark.”

 

“Over here.”

 

Janelle made her way towards the sound of her daughter’s voice.

 

“Here. Over here.”

 

Janelle went to where she was sure Liza was standing. She started feeling lightheaded and thought maybe she’d accidentally taken a Xanax with her wine. She knew she was standing near a light switch and flipped it, expecting to see her daughter standing right in front of her. “Liza.”

 

“Over here.” Janelle turned towards the sound of the voice again. “Over here.” This time it came from behind her.

 

Janelle’s heart raced. All she heard were the words ‘over here’ being spoken again and again. And she was terrified. She started running… away from the voices. But they followed her. She fled down the stairs trying to get away from them. Only when she thought she was at the foot of the stairs, she was back at the top.

 

“Over here.”

 

The voice was right behind her. She turned around slowly not sure was she was going to see. “Liza?” No one. “What is going on? Who are you? What do you want from me?”

 

Janelle felt someone small tug at her hand. She turned and looked down. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“No. No. No.” Janelle woke up screaming. It wasn’t the same dream. It’s was different. It never started that way. Never. She was terrified down to her core. “What the hell is going on?” Shaking, she grabbed her bottle of tranquilizers and took one. She had considered downing it with some more wine but decided the dream… the nightmare was probably linked to all the alcohol she’d ingested throughout the day. She stared at the ceiling waiting for sleep to come to her.

 

“Mommy?” Liza shook Janelle. “Mommy, wake up. Aren’t you going to make me my breakfast?”

 

“What? Liza? Breakfast? What time is it?”

 

Liza pointed to the clock by Janelle’s head.

 

“Oh, shit. It’s nine. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m so sorry Liza. I overslept.”

 

“It’s okay, Mommy.”

 

Janelle heard Peter crying from his room. “Damn it. He’s probably soaked. Baby, I know I should take you in today, even though it’s later than sin. But, I’m so tired. Let’s play hooky today, okay?”

 

“Okay. I can help you with Peter if you like.”

 

“Would you do that for me? That would be so nice.”

 

“Sure. Want me to get his bottle?”

 

“Yeah, that’d be great. I’m going to change him then you can watch your shows while I do some work. How’s that sound?”

 

“Super-duper, Mommy.”

 

“Great. Well, at least you’re feeling super-duper. Mommy’s head hurts.”

 

“Sorry. I’ll kiss it and make it better.” Liza kissed her mother’s forehead before heading downstairs to grab Peter’s bottle.

 

“Aww. That’s so sweet.”

 

Janelle made Liza some pancakes and sausages. Peter even tried his hand at dipping a bit of pancake in syrup but only managed to make a very sticky mess of things. Janelle laughed and used at least twelve baby wipes to de-syrup her son.

 

The kids played and Janelle worked. Then Janelle played with the kids. They ate lunch. Everyone took a nap. Then it started all over again. Janelle hadn’t had so much fun in quite a while. But around three o’clock both Liza and Peter were looking tired. And they should have, too. They’d spent a long time playing. “Alright, Liza, let’s get Peter in his bed. Then you need to take a nap, too.” Liza frowned but nodded despite the fact that she wanted to keep playing.

 

As Liza was climbing into her bed to nap she reached up and hugged Janelle. “I love you, Mommy.”

 

“Well, I love you, too.”

 

“Mommy, if I do something bad will you love me?”

 

“Of course, honey. There’s nothing you can do that’s so bad, I wouldn’t love you.”

 

“What about Daddy?”

 

“What?” She sat down on Liza’s bed. “Why would you ask that?”

 

“Just because.”

 

“Liza, is there something you need to tell me? Something maybe that Daddy did?”

 

Liza looked around her mother and nodded. “Yeah.”

 

Janelle bristled. Oh, my God. Stay calm. Stay calm. “Liza, did Daddy do something bad?”

 

Liza nodded.

 

A rush of nervous energy pulsed through Janelle. “Did he do something bad to… you? Did he touch or anything?”

 

“No, Mommy. Not me.”

 

Janelle sighed but in the next moment she felt an even greater anxiety. “Did Daddy do something to Peter? Did he hit him or touch him?”

 

“No, Mommy.”

 

Janelle let out a long relieved breath. “Well, if Daddy didn’t do anything to you or to Peter. What did Daddy do?”

 

Liza frowned and looked down at the floor. She pulled her mother’s head close to her and whispered in her ear. “He has their shoes.”

 

“What?”

 

“Daddy loves their shoes. They’re in a little box. In his workroom.”

 

“What are you talking about?”

 

“I don’t want to say anymore. You might not love Daddy if I do.”

 

Janelle rubbed her temples. “I understand. It’s fine. I’m glad you told me.” Janelle kissed Liza’s forehead. “Now you go on and take a nap, okay?”

 

Janelle looked down at Liza’s floor and saw her shoes, still in a neat line along the edge of her bed. She left and made her way downstairs to her husband’s office. “What did she mean? He’s got their shoes in a little box in his office?” She sat down at his desk and stared around the room.

 

The bookcase was filled with theology and philosophy books. There was no little box. She opened up his desk drawers. No little box. Janelle spied his file cabinet and crossed the room. “What did you mean, Liza? What little box?” She pulled open each drawer of the filing cabinet. “There’s no little box in here.” She was frazzled.

 

Then she happened to look down and saw a box by the couch. She pulled off the lid and found several porn magazines. “Oh, my God. You are losing your mind Janelle.” She picked up the stack of magazines and found two Penthouse magazines and one that looked even trashier called ‘Hills and Mounds’. Oh my God. It’s porn. That’s all. Oh, thank God.”

 

She started laughing like she was mad. “I can’t believe I let myself get so worked up over something that has such a normal explanation. Oh, my God.” She opened one of the magazines and sure enough saw that most every explicit picture had a woman in some sort of degrading pose and she was wearing tacky high heels. “Well, I guess I should be mad. But I’m not.” She couldn’t help but laugh.

 

“Oh poor Liza. She probably caught Wade in here doing something he should have been a bit more careful about and Liza probably thought, well, damn, I don’t know what she thought. It’ll probably take some therapy but… therapy… I can handle therapy. How am I going to explain this to Wade?” Janelle stood up and felt almost giddy about the not so ominous discovery.

 

She made her way across the room and stepped out into the hall where she was greeted by Dumbo. He sniffed at her feet and licked the top of them. “Geez, Dumbo. That’s so disgusting. Let me guess, that’s you’re not so subtle way of saying ‘take me out.’ right?” Dumbo tilted his head to the side and woofed.

 

“Well, you’re going to have to wait. I have got to do some work today. Besides you went out a little while ago. There’s no way your bladder is that full.” Janelle made her way to the sunroom and sat at her desk. Janelle was able to focus on sketching out a couple of fairies and a dragon fly for a book called ‘The Dragon Fly Rodeo’.

 

Janelle grabbed some of her colored pencils and started filling in the sketch with some light color accents. “Hopefully, this is what Gillingham wants.”

 

She looked down at Dumbo. He was stretched out in a broad beam of sunshine. “Hey, you. What do you think?” Janelle held up the sketch and Dumbo paid little to no attention. “Fine. Be that way.” When she finished adding a few extra splashes of color, Janelle grabbed her phone and took some quick photos to send to Clarissa Gillingham hoping she’d be pleased with what she’d come up with.

 

Dumbo waddled over to her and licked her feet again. Glancing out the large windows of the sunroom, Janelle’s eyes focused on the ridge of hills beyond the water. The lake glistened and the trees just below the Blue Ridge horizon soaked up the sunlight. Dumbo licked her foot again then pawed her leg. “Alright boy. I hear you. Well, I feel your gross slobber. Let me check on the little humans then we’ll see about going on a walk.”

 

Janelle made her way upstairs and checked in on Liza and Peter. They were still both sound asleep. She turned on the monitor in the hallway and then put the receiver in her jacket pocket. She made her way down the stairs and grabbed Dumbo’s lead. Once they were outside, Janelle was taken away with the beauty of the quiet place. It was close to five o’clock. The sun was starting to cast a soft rosy hue across the ridge of mountains.

 

The lake stretched out so far, Janelle wondered how long it would probably take someone to actually row a boat out to the other side. She glanced back at the house and thought of how happy Wade’s family must have been to come here when Allison was alive. She felt a wave of melancholy overcome her as she thought about how hard it must have been for Lucas to spend so many hours out here building and building as he pondered what had happened to his daughter.

 

With Dumbo by her side, Janelle contemplated Lucas’s reluctance to visit the house now that it had been renovated. His vision of what the cabin could be was magnificent but Wade told her that once the last bit of work was done, Lucas decided he never wanted to come back. “Maybe the longer we’re here he’ll start to feel better and want to come out here. That way he can make new memories. Happy memories.” She sat on the lake’s shore and watched ripples float across the surface whenever a bug would alight or when a fish would jump up.

 

Her cell phone rang causing her to yelp with surprise. The Caller ID read ‘In-Laws’. She answered the phone. “Hi. Were your ears burning?”

 

Doris replied. “What?”

 

“Nothing. I was just sitting outside thinking about you and Lucas.”

 

“Oh, well, that’s sweet. No. I was calling to see if you wanted to come over for supper tonight.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“It’s Wednesday, Janelle. Wednesday services are tonight. I was wondering if you all were going to come by for dinner. You mentioned it last week. Don’t you remember?”

 

 “Oh, yeah. Sorry, I totally forgot. It’s been a long day. I didn’t sleep well last night.”

 

“I’m sorry, dear. Anything the matter?”

 

“No. I mentioned yesterday that Wade was out of town. And I had a rough night sleeping. I actually overslept this morning. When I got up it was almost so late. So, I decided the three of us would just make a day of it. I guess I missed Liza more than I imagined I would when she went to school the other day. And with Wade gone, I think I just needed to feel needed.”

 

“Well that is just downright precious.”

 

“I guess it is.” Janelle felt her phone vibrate in her hand. “Oh, sorry. I’ve got to go. My author is calling in to discuss some images I sent her.”

 

“No problem, Dear. So, can we expect you this evening?”

 

“I’ll have to call you back.” Janelle ended the call more abruptly than she wanted but speaking to Clarissa was more important than discussing dinner. “Hi. Did you get the images? … Good. How do they look? … That’s great. I’m glad. I was worried you were going to say they were blurry. I took some pictures the other day and I thought maybe I’d gotten moisture beneath the lens or something. So, you want me to keep with that feel? … Excellent. I’ll get to work on them straight away. So glad I was able to capture what you were hoping for. … Alright. Bye.”

 

She rubbed Dumbo’s ears. “It’s a yay moment, Dumbo. Aren’t you going to say yay? Or bark or do something? Well, fine. See how excited I get the next time you catch your tennis ball.”

 

Dumbo barked and wagged his tail. “Nope, it doesn’t count now.” She stood up and sighed. The sky was such a brilliant blue with just a hint of rose on the edge, the lake so glassy, and the backdrop of hills with trees already starting to show signs of the changing season inspired Janelle to do something she hated doing; taking a selfie. It was one thing to take pics of her with her family around herself with her family around but it just seemed sort of egotistical to take what she called self-admiring photos. But nonetheless, she wanted to capture the moment because it was truly picture perfect.

 

She stood right at the edge of the water by one of the big rocks, knelt down, and leaned in close to Dumbo. Then, with her arm extended and smiling broadly, Janelle looked at her image on the screen and positioned her thumb above the red button. But in the snippet of time it took for her thumb to make contact, Janelle saw the face of the girl she’d dreamed of so often pop up behind her.

 

Dumbo howled, Janelle stumbled backwards, and her cellphone fell out of her hand landing in about a quarter-inch of water. “Shit! Shit! Shit! ” Janelle grabbed it and immediately started drying it while turning around to make sure no one was there. She was alone.

 

Her hound yanked at the lead and barked like mad. “Dumbo, quiet! Stop!” Janelle’s mind raced trying to process what she’d seen or if she’d even seen anything at all.

 

Praying her phone was still functional, Janelle pressed the HOME button. The screen lit up. It was still on camera-mode. She touched DONE then GALLERY and took a deep breath to prepare herself for what either was or was not on the screen. Her finger shaking, Janelle triple tapped the last image; enlarging it while Dumbo kept up his frenzied barking and tugging on the lead.

 

“Damn it, Dumbo, I said stop!” Her heart started to pound when she looked at the screen. “It’s her.” Zooming in on the image, just over her left shoulder confirmed to Janelle it was the face of the girl from her nightmare. But not the battered, sunken face, with the dead eyes. Rather it was the sweet face she could never quite remember.

 

Then her phone rang again and she nearly dropped it back into the water but she was able to save it from falling. “Yes?”

 

“Hey, babe. It’s me.”

 

“Oh, it’s you.”

 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. What were you expecting someone else to call you? A secret lover or something?”

 

Janelle tried to sound calm. “Please. Don’t even. I thought you were your mom. She called a little while ago to ask if we were coming over for dinner tonight after the service. I was kind of short with her because I got another call.”

 

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my mom. She’s kind of chill about things like that. She knows we’re fast-paced people. Besides, it’s getting kind of late. I already called Larry and asked him if he could fill in for me. I’m just so worn out after yesterday. And…”

 

“And?”

 

“And, I feel a little like maybe we should do some laundry.”

 

“Laundry? Oh, wait, yes… do laundry.” Janelle smile in spite of herself.

 

“You alright? You sound preoccupied.”

 

“No, I’m just being fast paced, I’m standing outside by the lake. Yep. That’s me. Fast paced like a turtle.”

 

Wade laughed. “You crack me up. Well, I don’t want to disturb you in the middle of what is obviously a deep, spiritual moment.”

 

“You didn’t. I was just… nothing. So are you close to home?”

 

“I’d say about forty-five minutes. Maybe. I think I should be home before the sun goes too far down. Maybe we can do a load of laundry when I get home, before dinner. How’s that sound.”

 

“It sounds like you are totally horny.”

 

“I am.”

 

“Well, laundry or not I’ll be glad when you’re home.” Janelle cleared her throat. “Before we do any laundry or any sort of lathering, we might need to talk with Liza.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

Janelle laughed. “Oh, it’s nothing bad. It’s kind of stupid to be honest. Apparently Liza came across some of your fetish porn, I guess that’s what you’d call it.”

 

“My what?”

 

“You know what I’m talking about. She said you’ve got this thing about shoes and…”

 

“She did? Shoes?” Wade cleared his throat. “And what else did she say?”

 

“She said you had some pictures in your office and so, I, being paranoid went snooping.”

 

There was an audible, heavy cough on Wade’s side. “You did.”

 

“Geez, Wade, it’s fine. I found your little stash of porn magazines by the loveseat in your office. I’ll admit was a little weirded out about seeing the magazines along with your fishing and hiking magazines. And then I realized most all the pictures had women in these seriously dangerous looking shoes and I was like, oh, shoes. I tell you, in retrospect, it was kind of funny. I just hope she didn’t inadvertently see you doing, you know, anything while you were looking at them. Because I have a feeling she might have, maybe.”

 

There was a bit of nervous laughter from Wade. “I doubt it. I don’t ever remember being intruded upon. And even so, I probably would’ve been alert enough to notice her. I’m just surprised she found them.”

 

“You know, she’s a kid. Kids explore. She probably didn’t know what they were other than that they were pictures of naked women.

 

“Well, now you know my dirty little secret. Does it make you think any less of me?”

 

“No. Although, I’m beginning to wonder if I need to go out and get some eight mile high stilettos or something.”

 

Wade sighed. “No. You’re perfect the way you are. Slightly high heels and all.”

 

“Hey. I have some high heels.”

 

“Yeah. But not eight mile high.”

 

“Ha. Well, you drive carefully. I’ll see you when you get home.”

 

“I will.” There was a pause. “Hey, Janelle, I love you.”

 

“I know. Bye.” Janelle pressed END and let out a long breath. She’d been wondering how she was going to approach Wade with the ‘Liza found something she probably shouldn’t have found’ conversation. All in all, it went pretty well. And even though she couldn’t see Wade, Janelle could almost hear him blushing. “Men.”

 

Janelle laughed and decided to head back to the house, forgetting the photo until she heard someone say, “Over here.” She yelped and turned around.

 

“Over here.”

 

She heard the crackle of the baby monitor in her pocket. “What the hell?” She pulled it out of her pocket and put it up to her ear.

 

“Over here.” The voice was loud and clear but not coming from the monitor and Janelle threw down the monitor.

 

She realized she was clutching her phone for dear life. Then she remembered why. Janelle turned her phone on and opened her photo gallery. She looked at the selfie and saw the girl’s face. It wasn’t her entire face. No. It was like she was hiding behind Janelle.

 

And as she tapped on the image to make it bigger, she felt her skin crawl. She looked familiar. She had Liza’s eyes, only she was older. Maybe ten or eleven or… Janelle whispered to the air around her, “Allison.” An blast of icy cold air shot though her, just like the one she felt in the sunroom the other day. Only this time it pushed Janelle so forcefully she nearly fell backwards.

 

She scrolled through the three or four pictures she’d taken of the art for Clarissa and then, just as she was getting to the next one, she heard crying. Janelle looked at the monitor thinking it had to be Liza or maybe Peter. No. It wasn’t coming from there.

 

Janelle heard the crying from her nightmare behind her. Only Janelle wasn’t asleep. Turning around, she saw the girl from her nightmare sitting on the ground. She had pulled her knees up to her chest as if she were trying to make herself as little as possible. And even though she knew the answer she asked, “Who are you?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?” In a flash, the girl was standing in front of Janelle and another blast of cold knocked Janelle off balance causing her to fall down. She let go of Dumbo’s lead. He took off towards the house, barking nonstop.

 

Janelle sat there, stunned. “Allison is that you?”

 

Then, as if she were a kernel of popcorn heated to the perfect temperature, the girl ‘popped’ from place to place; her face morphing from pleasing to horrific as she asked the same question again and again. “Can you help me find my shoes? Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Janelle tried to speak but her voice was gripped by fear.  A few seconds passed before she was able to spit out a reply. “I know it’s you. Allison, where are your shoes?”

 

The presence stopped and pointed at Dumbo. He howled like he’d found something important. She vanished only to reappear closer to the house, still pointing. Dumbo stopped barking and looked in the apparition’s direction.

 

Janelle ran towards the storm door that led to the laundry room beneath the house but stopped dead in her tracks when the dead-faced girl appeared in front of her and pointed in the opposite direction. Before Janelle could respond, the sweet faced child was standing by some tall bushes pointing behind them.

 

Janelle pushed through the heavy foliage and spotted the entrance to a storage space she never knew was there because it was hidden behind the thick greenery. And even if the bushes hadn’t been there, the door blended in seamlessly with the siding as it had no window or doorknob though it did have an old rusted handle. The only thing that looked less than very old was a lock screwed into the door with a lock that needed a key to open it.

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Are your shoes inside?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Janelle found a large rock and slammed it down on the latch several times before the whole thing broke away and the door opened. She stepped inside.

 

It took a few seconds for Janelle’s eyes to adjust. There was nothing to brighten the room except a narrow window too high up to access. And even though the sun wasn’t down yet, it might as well has been because it was dark. By chance, she saw a thin rope and pulled it. Light.

 

The room was deep with a dirt floor. It stretched forward the width of the house creating an optical illusion making the ceiling appear angled. There were some tools on a shelf to her right. And on the shelf was a box; a small box. And suddenly Janelle was reminded of exactly what Liza had told her. “She didn’t say his office. She said Daddy has their shoes. In a little box. In his workroom.”

 

Janelle reached up and grabbed the box. It was a small shoe box. There was nothing unique about it. Janelle’s heart was pounding so hard the sound of blood rushing in her ears was deafening.

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Are your shoes in here, Allison?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?” Allison stood right beside Janelle and stared at the box.

 

Janelle opened it and thought she might throw up. Inside the box were at least fifteen sheets of construction paper with photos of little girls’ shoes taped or glued to the paper. On the left side of the page was a picture of feet in a pair of shoes; on the right were the same shoes, only devoid of feet. She looked down at the bottom of the page and saw there were dates written and names; names she was certain were towns because of one in particular, Coosawatchie. She saw an old Rand McNally Road Atlas on the shelf beside where the box of photos had been.

 

Janelle picked up the atlas and thumbed through the pages until she got to South Carolina. She looked for Coosawatchie, it was a place not too far from Charleston just off of I-95. Someone had taken a highlighter and put a marked the town on the map. She turned the book to the map with North Carolina’s roads on it. The same thing had been done on that map. Janelle went through each page and found the corresponding dots for each photo. Janelle felt the color drain from her face when she got to one of the photos and saw that it was a town she recognized as being around Atlanta. “No. No. No.”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“I don’t understand. Allison, are your shoes in here? Is one of the pictures your shoes?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?” The girl pointed to a spot in the corner. “Can you help me find my shoes? Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Stop! Just stop. I… I…” Janelle was in tears.

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Allison, please I’m trying to help you. Will you please just stop for a minute?”

 

She stopped and stared at Janelle.

 

“Thank you.”

 

The girl smiled.

 

Janelle’s heart raced and a feeling of dread ran from her fingers to her toes. “Allison I want to help you but you have to help me. Are your shoes in this room?”

 

Allison popped away from her and reappeared at the spot where she’d been pointing. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“Is that where your shoes are?” Janelle crawled on her hands and knees over to where Allison was standing. She felt the girl move through her. It was the same distressing cold feeling she’d felt earlier only it wasn’t as intense. She was about to ask Allison if her shoes were nearby when her phone rang.

 

Janelle screamed from the shock of the sound. She looked down and saw ‘Wade’ on the Caller ID. She took a deep breath and swiped her finger across the face of the phone to accept the call. “Hi! Almost home?”

 

Wade sounded calm; relaxed. “Yep. I should be there in about fifteen minutes. I’m just thinking about you and the laundry room.”

 

“You are enamored with the laundry room, aren’t you?”

 

Wade laughed. “Well, it was pretty hot in there.”

 

“Yeah, it was. Well, I’m going to run now. I need to clean up. I’ve got pencil lead all over my hands.”

 

“Alright. See you soon.”

 

Janelle pressed the END on her phone and looked up to see Allison standing by her pointing at her phone. “What? My phone? Wait the pictures from the other day.”

 

She pressed GALLERY and began scrolling through the pictures. And what she thought was a smudge wasn’t  a smudge at all. It was her. Allison. Only it was the battered, bloody faced Allison with dead eyes. Then, swiping her thumb again and again across the screen, Janelle realized the series of photos she’d taken as ‘burst shots’ showed Allison’s arm rising; her finger pointing at Wade.

 

Tears fell onto the screen of her phone and she turned to Allison. “Alli… “ Only Allison was now in the corner, cowering. “Allison, what’s wrong?”

 

Janelle heard her phone ring again and looked down at it. ‘Wade’ She was shaking so hard she didn’t know if she could hold the phone but she took a deep breath and answered the phone as calmly as she could. “Hi. Has it seriously been fifteen minutes already?”

 

“Not exactly.”

 

“Well, that’s a rather vague response.” Janelle forced herself to laugh.

 

Wade chuckled. “Janelle where are you?”

 

“What do you mean? I’m at home. Where else do you think I’d be?”

 

“Let me rephrase the question for you Janelle. Where… inside the house… are you… right now?

 

Janelle looked over and saw Allison now sitting on the ground in the corner with her knees pulled up to her chest. She was terrified; like she wanted nothing more than to get away from where she was only she couldn’t. Allison pointed to the ceiling of the storage area.

 

Janelle looked up knowing that the wood was the foundation for the floor in the sunroom. Her blood ran cold.

 

Wade asked again, “Janelle where are you? And please do not say you’re in the sunroom. I know you’re not because I’m in the sunroom right now. I know I’ll ask Liza. Sweetie can you ask Mommy to tell you where she is?”

 

“Mommy? Are you there?”

 

Janelle could tell something was wrong with Liza. Her voice sounded odd, forced almost. “Liza are you alright?”

 

“Yes, Mommy. But please tell Daddy where you are. He wants to know real bad.”

 

“He does? Did he tell you why, Liza?”

 

Liza started to say something but was cut off by Wade. “Janelle, I think I know where you might be. And believe me, I know it’s easy to lose track of time in there. So why don’t you come back inside the house and we can talk?”

 

“Wade, please don’t hurt Liza.”

 

“Why would I do that, Janelle? Why do you think I’d hurt our beautiful daughter? She’s so perfect. Soft. Adorable. And she smells divine.”

 

Janelle felt like her heart jumped into her throat. Wade had their daughter in his clutches and based on what she’d found hidden away in his secret hideaway beneath the sunroom she knew what he was and what he’d done. She glanced in Allison’s direction but she was gone. “Wade, please, I’m begging you, let Liza go.”

 

“Janelle, why are you begging me to let Liza go? Do you think I’d hurt this little angel of ours? Really? Why would I hurt the one thing I love so much.” In the background Janelle could hear Liza struggling to get away from Wade.

 

“Daddy let me go. You’re hurting me. Daddy, please. Mommy tell Daddy to let me go.”

 

“Please, Wade. Please. I… I won’t say a thing. I promise. I won’t. Just let Liza go.”

 

Wade stood up, holding Liza horizontally so she flailed about like a ragdoll under his arm. He put the phone on speaker mode and made his way to the kitchen. He opened a drawer and rummaged through one then he closed the drawer. “Really Janelle you won’t say a thing?”

 

“I swear to God, Wade, I won’t say anything.”

 

Wade yelled out, “Why is it I don’t believe you?” And then he walked into the kitchen, put his phone on speaker, and placed it on the counter. Janelle could hear him rifling through one of the kitchen drawers. Only she had no idea he’d found the knife, an extremely sharp knife, he used to filet fish.

 

Even though he didn’t have his phone in hand, Janelle heard the backdoor open could hear Liza crying “Daddy please put me down. Please. Daddy.” Janelle yanked the light off and ran to the corner where Allison had been hiding, praying Wade wouldn’t see her when he opened the door because she knew he would.

 

He was coming to get her because she knew his secret. Everything clicked in Janelle’s head. The nightmares were Allison trying to warn Janelle of the monster who shared her bed; who had spilled his seed into her womb. She didn’t know what he was doing with Liza whatever it was, he’d probably kill her when he was done.

 

Janelle pressed END then dialed 911. Within seconds a voice on the other end of the phone said, “911, what’s your emergency?”

 

Janelle whispered, “My husband… he’s coming to kill me. He’s got my daughter. I think he’s going to hurt her, too.”

 

“Ma’am, are you saying your husband is threatening to kill you and your daughter?”

 

“Yes. Oh, God, he did something… something horrible and I found out. Now he’s got my daughter and I think he’s going to kill us both. Please hurry.” Janelle heard several voices coming from around the 911 operator. Apparently when an imminent danger call comes in, the people at the 911 office went into scramble mode.

 

“Ma’am, I’m working to confirm your location.” The operator asked Janelle where she was per a map then asked, “That’s a different county. But don’t worry. We’re contacting them right now. Do you know where your husband is?”

 

“He’s looking for me. I’m in a little space under the house behind some bushes and oh, shit… I hear him. I have to go. He’ll hear me.”

 

“No, no. Ma’am don’t end the call. Turn the volume all the way down. Don’t turn it off. We need it on to find you. Put it somewhere I can hear you, okay.”

 

“Okay, okay. I’m turning down the volume now. I’m going to put the phone on… on the shelf. Please hurry. If you don’t get hear soon, you’re going to hear my husband killing me and my daughter.” Janelle’s eyes had barely adjusted to the darkening room but she made a quick dash to the shelf where an assortment of garden tools was and placed the phone in the middle so it couldn’t be seen. She said one last time, “Hurry.”

 

“Janelle? Janelle? Where are you, Honey?” Wade was in the laundry room. He tapped on the wall; the wall where he’d so passionately made love to her the other day. “Hey, Honey, are you over there? I think you are.” He hit on the wall with his free hand. “Remember how I banged you right here? Want to know why I was so turned on? He hit the wall harder. “Want to know why, Janelle? It’s because that’s where I did it. Right there in that little space. Allison was my first and if I had to pick a favorite, it would be her.” He pounded on the wall like a madman. “Are you listening to me, Janelle?”

 

Janelle could hear Liza crying. “Please Daddy put me down. Please.” Janelle didn’t know what to do. She was terrified. But all she could do was crouch down in the corner and cover her ears in a fool’s attempt to not hear what her husband was telling her. Tears streamed down her face

 

Janelle could hear Liza struggling with Wade. She screamed for Janelle, “Mommy! Mommy! Help me!” And then it was quiet; very quiet for about fifteen seconds. Janelle heard the dryer door slam shut after which Wade pounded on the wall with both his hands.

 

“Janelle, guess where Liza is? Guess, come on, guess.” Silence. “She’s in the dryer. Who would’ve thought a six year old would fit so well in a dryer. I think I’ll turn it on. Want me to do that, Janelle? Want me to turn on the dryer so I can watch Liza on the heavy duty tumble cycle?” Silence. “Goddamn you, Janelle answer me or so help me God, I’ll fucking turn on the dryer.”

 

Janelle yelled out, “No! Please No.” She ran out of the little room and towards the laundry area. Wade was waiting for her. He grabbed her before she cleared the bushes in front of the door that had been locked with a key he kept on his keyring with his car keys.

“Where you going, Janelle?”

 

“Liza. Liza, where is she? Please Wade, please don’t hurt her.”

 

Wade grinned. “She’s right where I said she was. But don’t worry, she’s not being tossed around like… shoes. You were right I do like shoes.” He put the knife to Janelle’s throat and dragged her back to the little room. Once they were inside, he threw her down, grabbed the light and turned it on. Wade pushed a slide lock that Janelle hadn’t noticed when she entered. “Don’t want to be disturbed, do we?”

 

Janelle ran to the far side of the space and Wade laughed. “Damn. I guess the rabbit thing is innate in all females. That’s where they all ran to. Right there. That exact spot. Only once they got there, they were stuck. Just like you.”

 

Janelle, on her hands and knees, inched forward from the corner. “Wade, please, please. I… whatever you did, we can get over it. I know we can. No one has to know. I promise. I won’t tell. I won’t.”

 

Wade got on his knees and stared at Janelle as he held the knife out where she could see it. “How’d you figure it out? I’m dying to know.”

 

“What?”

 

“How’d you figure out about my girls? At first I thought maybe it was just the porn mags you found but then I thought about how weird you’ve been acting. And how you wanted yesterday to yourself. Were you snooping yesterday? I hate snoopers. Is that how you found my room?”

 

“No. It was… Allison.”

 

“Allison? Really? That’s a good one, Janelle. Now how’d you really do it? I assume you found my stash in my office bathroom. Right? Those are some of my favorites. I loved the one with the little green shoes. She was so good. Tracy. That was her name. She was eight and such a screamer.” He grinned.

 

“Please, don’t. I don’t want to hear this. Please.” Janelle glanced around the room hoping she’d hear the sound of sirens or something. But it was silent. She trembled.

 

Wade reached out and grabbed Janelle by her neck and yanked her towards him. “No. I want you to know everything Janelle because confession is good for the soul. And after I tell you, I’m going to kill you. Then I’m going to kill Peter. Then I’m going to do to Liza what I did to all my other girls. She’s a little small but it’ll be the perfect ending because when I’m done, I’ll kill her then myself and we’ll all be one happy family again.”

 

Janelle was crying so hard she couldn’t see anything in front of her except the light overhead. She tried struggling against Wade but he was strong and he was in a better position than she. He held her close, in an almost loving fashion, and brushed his head against her head. “You know, I love the smell of your shampoo. Being in here it makes me so…”

 

He glanced around the room and smiled when his eyes fell on the box that held his mementoes. “You know I honestly never thought anyone would come in here. This is my space. I was so worried when Dad remodeled the cabin that I was going to lose this little space. Thank God, he didn’t. It really is because of the support beams. Go figure.” He nuzzled Janelle again. “It’s cozy in here, isn’t it?”

 

Janelle tried to be calm and kept listening for the sound of sirens. She took a deep breath and tried to reposition herself but was stopped by Wade. She had to catch him off guard or something; get him to move so she could get in a better position so she could run if given the opportunity. “When you told me about the day Allison went missing did you bring her here?”

 

Wade laughed. “You are so smart. That’s one of the reasons I fell in love with you, Janelle. Smart, smart, smart. And yes, that’s right. I was working on the lawnmower and Allison did want me to bring her out here. And that girl, she could get me to do anything she asked. So I brought her out here to work on her diving but oh my God, Janelle, she was wearing this little bathing suit and she was just so beautiful.”

 

Janelle could taste bile in her mouth. She had to keep it together. And she knew she had to keep him talking if her phone really was on hopefully the 911 operator was getting his confession on record and Janelle could die knowing the truth was out there. “So when you said you fell into the briars in the woods, you didn’t did you? It was Allison wasn’t it? She fought against you, didn’t she?”

 

“Yes. The first time she fought like mad and I’ll admit I was scared someone might hear her. For ten year old, well, she almost eleven, she had a lot of fight in her.”

 

“You raped Allison, didn’t you Wade?”

 

“You know, I swear I think you’re getting off on hearing about it. Is that it?” He ran his hand up her chest and fondled her breasts. “It’s okay if you do. Thinking about her and how it felt is enough to wind me up. So, yes, Janelle, I did make love to her. Six maybe seven time, I can’t remember but then people started looking out here near the lake so I had to kill her. I’ll bet you think I wasn’t upset by her death but I was. I was so torn up by it.”

 

Janelle closed her eyes because she thought she heard a siren somewhere in the distance. “How did you kill her?”

 

Wade pulled Janelle closer to him. “Do you honestly care? Or are you just trying to keep me talking? I’m thinking you think if I talk long enough I’m going to let you go. Sorry, Baby, that’s not going to happen. But if it helps any I feel much calmer now. I’m still going to kill you. But I think I’ll enjoy it more now that I’m all calm. So thank you.”

 

Wade laughed in her ear then turned her head and kissed her. “Where were we, how did I kill Allison? It was about three o’clock on the third day of the search. Mom and Dad thought I was searching for her. But she was right here in this room. I wanted to make love to her one last time.”

 

“Stop.”

 

“Stop? But I thought you wanted to know? What is it Janelle? Huh? Do you want to hear all about it or do you want to go ahead and let me kill you? Because I’m feeling so good right now, I’m thinking instead of killing Peter after I kill you, I’d slice you a few times so you can’t more and then I’ll bring Liza in here and make love to her right in front of you. Then I’ll deal with Peter. So what did you want me to stop for?” Wade took his fileting knife and sliced Janelle just behind her ear.

 

Janelle winced but didn’t say anything about the pain. “I said stop because I want you to stop saying you made love to Allison. You raped her Wade. You’re a monster. There was no love involved in it.”

 

Wade wrapped his hand around Janelle’s throat and squeezed. “Shut up. I have never raped anyone. They all wanted it. So did Allison. She loved me. She told me she did. She loved it. She loved me.”

 

“No she didn’t. You’re a sick son of a bitch. And if she said it, if any of those little girls said anything, it was to appease you.” Janelle’s fear had started to fall. It had been so long since she’d called 911 she was giving up hope that they would arrive in time. If she was going to do something, she had to do it now. Keeping Wade calm had allowed her to get her feet in a better position to try to fight back.

 

So if he was going to kill her he’d have to fight like hell to do it. “How many did you kill, Wade? I counted what twelve maybe fifteen pages of photos in here. How old were they? You said Allison was a fighter. You didn’t like her fighting back, did you? Did you target younger girls after that? Is that it? Is that why you became a youth minister so you could be near little girls all the time?” With every accusatory question, Wade became more agitated.

 

“Shut up, Janelle. You’re in no position to say anything.” He grabbed the knife and ran it across her chin, blood dripped down her neck across Wade’s hand.

 

“Is that why you wanted to move back here? So you could be near your little prizes? Your trophies? That’s what they are, aren’t they? You took pictures of their feet so you’d be able to remember them. Right? Well guess what, Wade? They’re gone.”

 

“What?” She’d gotten under his skin with that one. And in response Wade took his razor sharp knife and slid it down her forearm. It was bleeding before she realized what he’d done. “You better be fucking lying, Janelle. Or I’ll cut you more. You’ll bleed out, slow. And I will bring Liza in here and you’ll have to watch before you die. Is that what you want?”

 

“Go ahead. Do it. You’ll never find your special pictures. I’m sure there are others. I’m guessing you made the best of your time on the coast, didn’t you. I’m sure the police will find those pictures eventually. I already called the police. They’re coming.” Janelle laughed.

 

Wade’s grip loosened and he turned to look at the box on the shelf. It had been moved. What if she was telling the truth? He’d sliced her, she was bleeding badly and yet she held to her story.

 

Janelle closed her eyes and sighed when she felt his grip loosen. She grabbed a handful of dirt off the floor. “Yep, I found them this morning. But you know whose shoe picture I didn’t find in your little treasure box?”

 

Wade cringed. “What?”

 

“You have photos of all the shoes of the girls you killed but you don’t have a picture of Allison’s shoes. Did you lose that photo? Or do you carry it in your wallet? No. I bet you don’t. I’ll bet you don’t have anything left of her. I think you buried her in here? Maybe in that corner?” Janelle looked forward and saw Allison sitting in the corner with her knees pulled to her chest.

 

“Shut up, Janelle. Shut up.” Wade sliced her arm again opening up another wound that spilled even more blood on the dirt ground.

 

Janelle knew with the second slice she was losing blood so fast she was probably hallucinating but she didn’t care. She nodded at the apparition in front of her. “You kept her locked in here. Probably gagged her so she couldn’t scream, too. And before you killed her she ran into that corner right over there and sat with her knees up to her chest.”

 

“What the hell? Shut up, Janelle. I mean it.”

 

Janelle stared forward and saw Allison’s last moments as if they were happening right then and there. “Something happened.” She watched Allison get yanked up out of the corner by an invisible hand. As Janelle talked both she and Wade were wrapped by icy cold. “You grabbed her and brought her right here where we’re sitting now.” Janelle felt lightheaded.

 

Wade started to tremble. “Shut up.” He ran the knife over her wrist and with a quick motion, she was bleeding more profusely.

 

The cold essence of Allison climbed into Janelle so she  was able to Allison’s last moments even though Janelle knew her own life was slipping away. The cold made her tremble. Allison was in her, keeping her alive so that someone would know her story. Janelle felt Allison’s body being assaulted. The memory of the man who’d stolen Allison’s life weighed on Janelle’s chest. She couldn’t catch her breath. She was sick at her stomach. “You raped her one last time before you killed her. She bit your chin when you were done.” Janelle’s words started to slur together.

 

“No. No. You can’t now that.” Wade played with the pool of blood by Janelle’s arm.

 

“You said, ‘Alli, why’d you do that? You don’t bite someone you love. Why would you do that to me?’ then she said ‘So Mama will see.’ And then you lost it.”

 

The sensation of something hitting her face again and again went through Janelle. She felt Allison’s right cheek bone shatter. Then the wind was knocked out of her by the horrific memory. And a voice jumped out of Janelle’s mouth that was not her own. It was small, young, and terrified.

 

It was Allison’s voice. “No! No! Wade, please. Please. No!”

 

Wade was stunned. Hearing Allison’s voice made him recoil. He slid away from Janelle and looked away in fear.

 

Janelle smiled. She was close to passing out. “Scared, Wade? Now you believe me, don’t you? She remembers it all; every horrible thing you did to her in those last moments.”

 

Then, without any warning, Janelle’s head was lifted off the ground and then was slammed back onto the ground followed by the sensation of something heavy going straight through her head. Then phantom hands wrapped around her throat. They squeezed and Janelle thought she might actually succumb to the violent memory trapped in Allison’s earthbound spirit. She sputtered out, “After you beat her you strangled her. You broke her neck. She was dead.”

 

Wade was trembling. “How do you know that? How?” He shook Janelle but she’d lost so much blood she was barely coherent.

 

“Wade. Leave her alone.”

 

Wade looked up and saw Allison standing there. She was in her shorts and the T-shirt she’d gotten in Pigeon Forge. She was staring at her brother. Somehow, the blood that fell on the ground gave Allison the strength to appear in front of him for the first time in years even though she’d been trying so long to be heard using Janelle’s dreams as a way to get attention.

 

Wade shrank away from the site of his sister. “Allison? Is it you?”

 

“Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Wade was confused but happy to see her because in his sick, twisted mind he loved Allison as if she was his soulmate and he thought she had returned because she adored him the same as he did her. “You came back to me.”

 

Allison stepped forward. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

“What, Alli? Your shoes? I’m sorry. I don’t know where they are. I don’t remember where I put them.”

 

That was not the answer Allison wanted to hear. She popped directly in front of Wade and screamed, “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Wade reached out to touch her. She was so close and looked so real and so… beautiful. Just the way he remembered her. “Allison.”

 

But then, in an instant, the dead eyed girl with the battered face was standing in front of him. She reached out and grabbed for his neck. “Can you help me find my shoes?”

 

Wade screamed and stumbled backwards. The Allison he’d laid his hands on some sixteen years earlier came after him. She wanted him to see what he’d done to her. She hounded him screaming, “Can you help me find my shoes?” again and again. It drove Wade mad.

 

He was desperate to get away from Allison, the girl he’d pined so badly for he’d found other girls like her to rape and kill when he was on his trips to visit other churches. He lashed out at her with the knife but it went through her. Wade ran to the door and tried unlocking it but were shaking so badly he couldn’t.

 

Allison got in his face again and screamed, “Can you help me find my shoes?” She popped around the small space so much all Wade could do was try slashing at her.

 

Then Wade saw red and white lights coming through the small window in his killing room. The county rescue people had finally found the house out in the middle of damn nowhere. Wade had to get away, not just from Allison but from the house. He knew how the route to the foot path into the forest. He could make it there before anyone made their way to the back of the house.

 

Wade jiggled the slide lock until it opened and when it did, he yanked the door open and ran out of the space with his bloodied knife… straight towards one of the emergency response people.

 

Three sheriff’s deputies opened fire and shot Wade at least five times until he fell to the ground dead.

 

A paramedic ran into the room and found Janelle lying on the ground with a huge pool of blood around her arm. There was a flurry of activity around Janelle they were trying desperately to save her life. Allison stood there watching Janelle dying. She could feel her heart beat slowing down with each passing second. But Janelle dying wasn’t what she wanted.

 

Allison wanted justice. Not just for herself but for all the girls Wade had raped and murdered over the past sixteen years. She looked to her left and then to her right and saw the shimmering specters of the beautiful little girls Wade had killed. They smiled at her then faded away. And Allison stood there feeling vindicated.

 

The Black Mountain First Responder Team had taken about nineteen minutes to find the house from the time Janelle had placed the call but it felt like an eternity. And now because they’d been so long in finding the place, Janelle was dying. Wade had sliced her at least four times on her arm, on her chin, and behind her ear. She was white. All the color had drained from her just like her blood.

 

“We’ve got to stop this bleeding. Get a tourniquet on her right now.” The paramedic tied off Janelle’s arm up near her shoulder. The bleeding slowed dramatically. But Allison could hear Janelle’s spirit calling out for help. Allison could feel warmth on her back and she turned around. There was a brilliant light behind her. All her friends were waiting there for her. But Allison stepped away from the light and into Janelle’s body. She gave every last ounce of her spirit to Janelle so she could live.

 

“Holy shit. I’ve got a pulse. It’s thready but it’s there. BP’s rising. I don’t know how but, damn, wow.” The man working on Janelle’s was shocked. He looked at the lady across from him. “Fluid, get fluid going now. Get her on the stretcher.”

 

Janelle felt the warmth of life return to her and she opened her eyes.

 

“She’s awake. Let’s move it. Now.” The man who had saved her life by putting the tourniquet looked down at her. “You’re going to be alright, ma’am.”

 

“Laundry room. Liza.”

 

“We’ve got her ma’am. We heard her banging on the door of the machine. She’s okay. Your boy, too. You’re safe now.” 

 

Janelle could hear Dumbo howling like mad as they pulled the stretcher out of the room. “Dumbo, stop barking you stupid dog.”

 

The sheriff's deputy walking beside the stretcher smiled and laughed. “You've got a good hound dog. He was waiting up front and when he saw the lights he started howling. Like he knew we were here to help. It was his howling brought us back here.”

 

Janelle glanced over at Dumbo who was being held by one of the other rescue people. Then she saw someone standing by Dumbo but a few feet away. The responder paid no attention to the girl but Janelle smiled. Allison. And then she faded into the night. Janelle never had another nightmare after that.

 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.06.2014

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