Preface

PREFACE

What happens to us after we die? Every one wants to know. Some say we go to heaven or hell depending on how we act and treat other people. Others say we’re re-incarnated as animals. Personally, I believed we’re re-incarnated as new babies, that we get to live again with a new family and new friends. My best friend Danika, she believes that people go to heaven and live at their happiest age for the rest of time with their loved ones. She believes that even animals get to go to heaven. In a way she’s right. There is a heaven, good people go there and exist happily ever after. But for those that have done wrong there is no hell, no devil. They are simply doomed, doomed to walk the Earth till they redeem their souls. Me, I’m stuck, stuck as the angel of death till I find a way to redeem my soul.

But how do you make up for killing your self?

Chapter One

CHAPTER ONE

When I killed myself I wasn’t thinking about how my death would effect everyone else in my life. I wasn’t thinking about how Dani would react when I pulled the trigger, or even how it effect my family. I was thinking about myself. I was thinking about how scared I was of growing up. Maybe shooting myself in the head, after my college graduation wasn’t a great idea, but it’s too late for ‘what if’s’, it’s too late to get it all back. I would give anything to have my life back. Life is full of regrets, every one knows that but who would think that the afterlife is full of regrets too. Don’t we get enough pain and sorrow during our time as humans? Do we really need it after we’ve died? There are so many unanswered questions. Of course there is one question that I know the answer to. ‘Do I wish I’d never shot myself?’ that one’s easy and pretty obvious.
That night I had sat in my car for two hours, I wrote notes to my parents, my sister, and Dani. I told Dani that we would see each other again, that she would be okay without me, and I really hoped it was true. I hoped I would go to heaven and exist at my happiest age, waiting for her. But that’s not what happened, I didn’t go to heaven. After I shot myself I saw ‘the light’ but it’s not white it’s a strange blue mist. When I step into it I felt warm and happy but only for a moment, soon I’m cold and there’s a breeze on my face. When the breeze stops and the mist settles I’m standing in an empty field. I bring my hand to the right side of my head and am surprised when I don’t find a huge bleeding, bullet hole. A dark figure steps out of the trees, their face hidden in the shadow of their hooded cloak. They are a good a foot taller than my own 6’2” and dark, curly hair pokes out of their hood.
“Emma Olivia Peterson.” The figure’s voice is loud and commanding.
“Yes.” I say, I pull my hand away from my head, distracted by the figure.
“What have you done?” The question startles me but I answer anyway.
“I killed myself, at least I think I did.”
“Why?”
“I was afraid of growing up?” My statement comes out as a question.
“Every one is afraid of growing up, most of them don’t kill them selves!” The voice is louder and angry.
“Umm... sorry?”
“You threw your life away!” The figure bellows.
“You can’t kill me I’m already dead.” I say poking the air between us.
“I can do a lot worse.”
“Who or what are you?” I ask trying to make out it’s face I see is a strong, angular noes. It ignores my question. “Am I going to heaven or what?”
“You are most definitely not going to heaven. They have big plans for you.” The figure says looking up at the sky. When I let my eyes follow the sky opens and fat rain drops fall.
“What kinds of plans?” I ask warily. Lowering my eyes from the sky and back to where it’s face should be.
“You ask too many questions.” It states, sounding tired. “Let’s go, we don’t have forever.” It leads the way into the woods, pace brisk. It doesn’t follow a trail but walks in a way that shows it knows where it’s going.
“So what’s your name?” I ask trying to keep up.
“You don’t need to know my name.”
“Well I’m going to call you F then.” I say with a giggle.
“Why? What’s F stand for?”
“Figure.” I state, matter o’ factly “I could call you DF for Dark Figure.”
“I prefer F.”
“F it is then.” I say poking F’s arm.
“Don’t touch me!” F snaps suddenly. It stops quickly and faces me with what I’m guessing is a glare.
“Jeez, calm down.” I talk a deep breath and stuff my hand in my pockets. “So are you a girl or a guy?”
“Don’t you ever shut up?” F says as he starts walking again.
“No. Answer my question.” I say, trying again to make out F’s face.
“What do you think?”
“Guy.” I say cautiously, afraid F will snap again.
“Okay.”
“That’s not an answer.” I say playfully.
“It is now.” F says turning his head towards me.
“What does that mean?”
“It means we’re almost there.”
“Well F, I hope your a guy because that’s what you are to me.” He groans and puts his hand to his face.
“I’m a guy. Okay? Happy?” I think I hear a smile in his voice but I can’t tell for sure.
“Very.” I say smiling.
“Why?”
“I thought you said we were almost there.”
“Your not getting out of my question.” He says as we come to a stop in front of a huge blue castle. The same cool, blue mist from ‘the light’ swirls around us. Only now it smells like peppermint, I take a deep breath and choke as the smell becomes too strong. “You okay?” F’s hand pats my back gently.
“I’ll be fine.” I wait for the burn in my noes to stop before I take another breath.
“You’ll get used to it. Eventually you won’t even notice it anymore.” It pats my back again. “You good?”
“I’m not going to die.” I say laughing.
“Don’t make jokes about that.” F looks at me with what I can only guess is a stern look.
“Sorry.” I say staring at F. He’s watching the door to the castle though, so I do the same. When my eyes touch the door, it opens suddenly. A short man with short grey hair comes through the door. He’s wearing a robe the same color as the mist.
“Wow, Fisher doesn’t talk to anyone.” The man says smiling. “You must be special.”
“I don’t want to be special.” I answer flatly. My mood goes from happy to irritated the second I see the short, little man.
“Okay, now I get why he likes you.” The man laughs. Fisher and I don’t say anything, so the man talks again. “Okay, so I’m Octavius, I’ll be your guide and teacher for the next few days.”
“You have plans for me.” I state flatly.
“Yes.” Octavius eyes Fisher. “Follow me.” The inside of the castle is painted with different shades of blue, the floor, the ceiling, even the lights.
“What’s with all the blue?” I ask suddenly.
“There’s one every day.” Fisher grumbles.
“Yeah, and you were one too.” Octavius says in a warning tone.
“I didn’t ask as many questions as she does.”
“Really?” Octavius says still walking in front of Fisher and I. “‘Who are you? Where am I? What’s your name? Where’s that door go? Why do I have to wear this robe?’” Octavius mimics Fisher’s voice perfectly and I laugh at Fisher’s aggravated expression?
“She asked me if I was a guy or a girl.”
“I can here you, you know.” I say glaring at Fisher.
“Can you blame her? You always have that hood up so no one can see your face.” Octavius says ignoring me.
“He wouldn’t even tell me his name.” I blurt, desperate to be part of the conversation.
“Haven’t you been spoken to about that?”
“She called me F.” Fisher retorts.
“She’s just like you when you got here.” Octavius laughs. “Okay, this is you quarters. You have a bathroom and sitting room. No food is permitted out of the dining hall, so no kitchen, and your bed is right in there.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” I say putting my hands out in front of me, signaling for him to stop talking. “We have to eat? What happens if we don’t?”
“See? She asks a lot of questions.” Fisher says pointing an accusing finger at me.
“Would you give it a rest already?” Octavius snaps at Fisher. “Technically we don’t have to eat but if you don’t you function slower, mostly it’s just out of habit.” He says to me ignoring Fisher’s glare. “Come along we don’t have forever.” He leads us out of my quarters. “So Fisher’s room is right across from yours and I’m just down there.” He points down the hall.
“Okay.”
“You need to change into your robe now.” Octavius pushes me back into my room. “So we’ll wait for you out here.”

I find a blue robe hanging on the door to my bathroom, which is also blue. It’s made of a soft fabric that I’ve never seen before. Golden swirls are sown into the fabric in a design so hypnotizing that before I know it I’m lost in the dizzying pattern. I have to open and close my eyes before I can concentrate enough to take off my clothes and replace them with the robe. I shove my own dirty clothes under the bed, then straiten the robe. I’m distracted several more times by the robe on my way back to the door. When I open my door Fisher has disappeared and Octavius is bashing his fist agains the door opposite mine.
“Come on Fisher! We have to much too do today, we don’t have time for this!” Octavius yells smashing the door again.
“What’s going on?” I ask, stepping up next to Octavius.
“He does this every now and then. I don’t know why.” He punches the door again. “Maybe he does it just to piss me off!” He yells so Fisher can hear him.
“Calm down.” Fisher says opening the door just as Octavius throws his entire body agains it. I laugh as he stumbles then falls to the ground. “I don’t know why you do that, I always open the door just as you do that. You always fall.” He laughs then helps Octavius up. He has his hood down now and I can see his face in perfect detail. I can see the shadow his curly mess of brown hair makes on his face, the way his upper lip sticks out a tiny bit more that his bottom one. He has a strong jaw and cheek bones. With his noes he has a strong, powerful face that contradicts his messy hair but some how works to make him very attractive .
“Your Fisher Davis!” I blurt suddenly. He and Octavius stare at me for a moment.
“You know Fisher?” Octavius asks in aw.
“Not really. We went to the same high school and college but he’s two years older than me.” I say still staring at Fisher.
“I was a junior when she was a freshman.” He says looking at Octavius, again it’s like I’m not even here. “I though you seemed familiar.”
“That’s so weird.” Octavius says almost in a whisper. “But we hardly have time for you two to catch up now.” He starts down the hall again. He leads us through the halls at a faster pace than before. “This is the dining hall, the library’s down there and the gym, yes I said gym, is through that door.”
“Why do we need a gym?” I ask trying to keep up with Octavius.
“When you get bored there’s not much else to do.” Fisher says.

Octavius leads us around the castle for about an hour before he has to go help someone else. When he leaves he puts Fisher in charge of me, “Don’t let her break anything.” he’d says jokingly before hurrying down the hall. Now I sit on the floor of Fisher’s room playing with the sleeve of my robe.
“You never answered my question.” Fisher says sitting up on his bed.
“What question?”
“Why are you happy I’m a guy?” Suddenly I’m brought back to the conversation we had earlier in the day.
“I’m not happy your a guy.” I say the stop myself when I see the hurt look on his face. “That’s not what I mean!” I yell laughing as I feel my face flush.
“Okay, what do you mean?” He says smiling.
“I mean I’m happy that I guessed right, I don’t care if your a guy or a girl.”
“So I’m guessing you like to win?” He ask teasingly.
“No,” I pause “I love to win.”
“It fits your personality.” Fisher says laying back on his bed.
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Yep.” He says taking a red ball off of his bedside table, he starts bouncing it off the ceiling.
“You know we had three classes together in high school? One your junior year and two your senior year.”
“Really? I don’t remember. It was so long ago.” He stops throwing the ball, holding it in his hands. He squeezes it twice then starts throwing it again.
“You only talked to me when you needed a pencil or paper.” I know I’m making him seem like a jerk but I don’t care, there’s no one else here to hear me.
“Umm... sorry?”
“Like you said, it was a long time ago.” I stand up and stretch. “So why do we have to wear robes?”
“That’s a good question. Where are you going?” He sits up again.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I cross the hall to my room and head into my bathroom.

After showering I go into the hall and Fisher tells me it’s time for dinner. He then leads the way to the dining hall. The dining hall is a huge room filled with the longest tables I’ve ever seen. Fisher and I sit facing each other at the end of one table, the people that sit next to us act like we’re not here and we do the same. When the food comes I realize how hungry I actually am, that is until I see the food. It’s a weird lumpy brown mush that reminds me of oatmeal but stickier.
“It looks like baby throw up.” I say without thinking. Fisher just stares at me. “What? It does!” I say poking it with my spoon.
“You get used to it.” He says that shovels a spoonful into his mouth. “It tastes a lot worse than it looks.”
“That makes me want to eat it.” I say sarcastically. Slowly I scoop a small amount of mush up and bring it to my nose. “It smells like my grandma’s feet!” I screech dropping my spoon back into the bowl.
“Just eat it.” Fisher’s already cleaned out his bowl and now he’s waiting for me to finish. “The faster you eat it the faster it’s gone.” I look at him then the mush, then him again. I take a big spoonful of the stuff and shove it in my mouth.
“Ew!” I yell swallowing it. It taste like a spoon full of salt with the texture of sand. I make myself eat another bite because of the look on Fisher’s face. When it’s all gone we walk back to our rooms together. Our robes make a gentle swishing sound as we walk through the halls. When we get to our rooms Fisher doesn’t say anything as he moves towards his door. “Good night.” I say cheerfully.
“Yep.”
“See tomorrow.” Suddenly he’s pulling away from his door. He grabs my hand and squeezes it a little bit too hard.
“Maybe.” Then he pulls away and disappears into his room.

I wake up to some one knocking on my door. When I open it Octavius falls to the floor at my feet. He’s up and talking before I can even blink and I struggle to understand what he’s saying.
“Okay, we have a lot to do today. First breakfast, then we have to get you to the fitting room, then training starts. Come on, come on.” He grabs my hand and pulls me down the hall.
“Where’s Fisher?” I ask letting him pull me along behind him.
“Early suicide, Fish had to go get her. Only she didn’t wait in the clearing like most people do, now he has to find her. Might be out all day.”
“Do you think he’ll be back by dinner?”
“Who knows.” He says slowing his pace. “Come on breakfast awaits.” We walk into the dining hall and sit in the same spot that Fisher and I sat in last night. This morning we’re having some weird blue liquid.
“What’s with this food?” I say poking it with a spoon.
“You get what you get, here.” He says quickly sucking down his breakfast.
“What?”
“Just drink it.” He says pushing my glass towards me.
“Fine.” I say picking up my drink. I take a huge mouthful. It taste like salty, blended up blueberries. “Gross.”
“Get over it.” Octavius says sounding bored.
“What is this?” I suck down the rest of my blueberry stuff.
“How should I know, I’m not the chef.” Octavius stands up and pulls me out of my seat. “Come on we don’t have forever.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.”
“To fitting!” He says enthusiastically.

Fitting, as I learn is where people like me are measured for our training suits. When Octavius and I walk in I’m immediately swept into a hug by a boney woman with curly brown hair and thick red rimmed glasses. She squeals and jumps up and down.
“You didn’t tell me she was so pretty!” She says to Octavius grabbing my hands. “I’m Anissa.”
“I didn’t think that it was important.” Octavius says rolling his eyes. “I’ll be back in two hours to take her to training.”
“Ooh, what’s she going to be?”
“4, 5, 1, 20, 8.” He grimaces as he says this.
“What! No! Why?” She starts balling right there in the middle of measuring my arm length.
“I’ll explain later, now, I have to go.” Octavius rushes out the door, the door slamming shut behind him.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry.” She pats my arm reassuringly. “Well these thing happen.”
“Um... okay.” Her words, along with Octavius’ number confuse me. I spend the rest of fitting being poked with needles and trying to figure out what 4, 5, 1, 20, 8 could possibly mean.
“Okay hun, almost done.” I hear her snip a piece of thread before she stands up. “You look great.”
“Um... thanks.” She pulls me over to a huge mirror, placing her hand over my eyes before I get a glance at what I look like.
“Ready?”Her voice is enthusiastic and I smile at her happiness.
“Yes.” Suddenly I’m brought back my senior prom.

My little sister, Alexis, had been bouncing around my room all night while my mom helped me with my make-up and hair. I had stood in front of my full-length mirror with my mother’s hands over my eyes.
“Ready?” My mom had asked.
“Yes.” I remember how I’d practically screamed that one word. Then my mother had taken her hands away from my eyes, letting me see my self. My brown, hair all done up under my tiara, which I hadn’t wanted but my little sister had insisted on. Seeing it in my hair, I was glad I’d agreed. My sister had also helped me pick out the floor-length, orange dress I wore. Again I had protested saying I didn’t want to stand out that much, but I didn’t stand a chance against her. She always new what would look good on people. When I moved my dress had shimmered in the dim light of my desk lamp and I’d been mesmerized.

“Emma! Emma!” Anissa’s voice is loud and full of panic. Her boney hands are on my shoulders shaking me violently. When my eyes focus on hers she seems to calm down a bit. “What was that? Where did you go?” She asks shaking me again.
“No where, I’m fine.” There, the first time I lie in the after life. “Can I look in the mirror now?” I smile, holding back my tears. I want to cry because now I realize how much I miss them.
“Oh, sure hun.” She moves to one side, clearing my line of vision. When I see myself I’m stunned, I’m wearing mid-night black skinny jeans and a tight, black, T-shirt. I wear a interesting grey jacket over my shirt. The jacket is made of grey fabric but fifty or so gold zippers criss-cross all over it. Some are pulled open a bit, revealing dark blue fabric underneath. It’s the most fascinating piece of clothing I’ve ever seen, slowly I stroke the sleeve with the fingers of my left hand. The fabric is firm, part of me knows that I could set this on fire and it wouldn’t burn.
“This is amazing.” I whisper, still stroking the jacket.
“Glad you like it.” Anissa says tucking the bottom down a bit. “It’s one of a kind, every thing I make is.” She smiles, moving my hair off my shoulder.
“Is it mine?” I ask hopeful.
“It was custom made for you.” She says simply. “And here are your sneakers.” She says pulling a box out from under a nearby chair and handing it to me. “Open it.” When I do I see simple grey sneakers sitting in a nest of blue tissue paper.
“Um... wow.” I say some-what let down.
“Put them on, put them on.” She says, excitedly taking the box from me and pushing me into a chair. She has them on my feet quickly tying them for me. “Walk around.” She orders. I do as she says and the shoes quickly respond. Every time my foot hits the ground gold and black streaks appear on the fabric, they flit around my shoe in intricate patterns. Tiny sparks fly off the fabric every now and then but the disappear quickly.
“These are amazing.” I whisper.
“They’re my best work.” She says proudly.
“I love them.”
“Good, you’ll be wearing them almost every day.” She says smiling at me. Just then Octavius busts through the door, a stack of papers in his hands.
“Come on Emma, it’s time for training.”
“Coming Octa.” I say, tearing my eyes away from my sneakers.
“What did you just call me?” He asks leaning toward me, I can’t tell if he’s upset or not.
“Um... Octa.” I say timidly.
“Okay.” He says with a laugh.
“What? Octavius is a mouthful!” I say my moment of worry passing quickly.
“I like it.” Anissa says laughing too.
“I don’t have time to argue with you, let’s go.” He says laughing again.

My shoes light up the dark halls each time I take a step and sometimes I catch myself staring at them. At one point Octavius stops and I walk into him. When we get to the training center Octavius has me stand alone in a dark room. When I stick out my arms I leave the room is actually a closet or at least it’s the size of a closet.
“Ready?” Octavius calls to me.
“Ready, Octa.” I yell back. Suddenly the door opens and I’m momentarily blinded by the light. I stumble out into the room and wait for my eyes to adjust. When they finally door I see that I am not alone, there is a teen-age girl tied to a chair in the middle of the other wise empty room. She looks about sixteen and her ginger hair is wet from looks like tears.
“Please. I didn’t mean to.” She whimpers to me as I step towards her suddenly feeling a strong pull. Like she’s a magnet and I’m made of metal.
“Do what?” I ask genuinely confused.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask taking another step.
“I didn’t mean to kill him, I didn’t mean to.”
“Kill who?”
“Barry!” She snaps, like I’m the dumbs person in the world. “He was hurting Jim.” She cries becoming a sweet again.
“Umm... okay.” I say unsure of what to do. “What’s your name?”
“Kelsey.”
“Emma!” Octavius’ voice cracks through the room. “Your job is not to make friends!”
“What is my job?” I scream back, utterly frustrated.
“You’re suppose to kill me.” Kelsey whispers, fat tears roll down her cheeks.
“What?” I freeze, horrified by the thought of killing her. “4,5,1,20,8. Death.” I whisper finally figuring it out.
“All you have to do is touch her.” Octavius says through the speaker.
“I can’t kill her!” I scream sitting down on the cold, white tile floor.
“She killed someone!” Octavius screams back.
“I don’t care if she killed a hundred people, the answers no!” I say starting to cry. A door opens slowly on one of the walls and Octavius enters the room.
“It gets easier over time.” He says pressing his finger to her hand. Her eyes fluter shut and her body relaxes under the ropes.

We walk back to my room in silence, the only sound is our shoes on the hard-wood floors. When we get to my room Octavius tells me to change back into my robe and to be ready for diner in two hours. I do as he says, reluctantly taking off my new coat. After I change I flop down on my bed and just lay for awhile. I stay there for about five minutes before I get bored and head into the halls. I go in the direction of the fitting room and Anissa. When I arrive I find her sitting on the floor with a stack of fabric in front of her.
“Anissa.” I say stepping into the room.
“Back so soon.” She answers cheerfully.
“This morning when you got upset at Octavius did you know I was going to have to kill people?” I ask coldly. She remains silent, playing with a piece of purple fabric. “Did you?” I demand, glaring at her.
“Yes.” She whispers, squirming under my glare.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I cry.
“I don’t know.”
“Yes you do! Don’t lie to me!”
“I wanted you to be as happy as long as possible. I knew that when you found out you would be destroyed and I wanted to postpone that as long as possible. You remind me of my daughter and when I look at you all I want to do is protect you. Can’t you understand that?” She starts to cry. Suddenly I’m sickened by myself for yelling at her and I run from the room.

By the time I get to my room tears are streaming down my face. When I get to my door I see Fisher standing a few doors down. He’s standing in front of an open door pointing in my direction. After a minute his steps away from the door and walks towards me.
“You okay?” He asks his face taking on a concerned look.
“I’m fine.” I say trying to step into my room, Fisher grabs my arm and pulls me into his room.
“Talk.” He commands, sitting me on his couch. I remain silent. “Fine, I will.” He says taking a seat on his bed. “So, I spent the whole day wandering around the woods looking for this girl and when I finally found her, she asked more questions that you.” He says laughing. I just glare at him. “What’s wrong with you?”
“I have to kill people.” I answer flatly.
“Oh, you got ‘Angle of Death’.” He pauses waiting for me to respond, when I don’t he continues. “Well at least you get to leave The Middle Ground.”
“What?”
“You get to leave The Middle Ground.” He repeats
“What’s The Middle Ground?” I ask leaning forward.
“This is The Middle Ground, people with certain jobs get to leave during the day. You, being the Angle of Death, get to leave, because, as you have pointed out many times, you can’t kill anyone here, we’re already dead.”
“Why am I the Angle of Death?”
“Simple, you killed yourself without a relatively good reason.” He sounds bored when he says this.
“What are you?” I ask my sadness forgotten.
“I’m a guide. I lead people from the clearing to, well here.” He grabs the ball off the table and bounces it off the ceiling.
“Why are you a guide?”
“Because I had a reason, well a better reason than you anyway.”
“What was your reason?”
“My fiance died in a car accident the day after I proposed to her.” He says, holding the ball in his hands.
“Well, I should go.” I say standing up.
“What? Why?” I sits up.
“I should shower before diner.” I say opening the door.
“Okay, I’ll meet you in that hall in half and hour.” He yells as I shut my door.

After my shower I open my door and a girl with strait, blond hair stumbles forwards. I step to the side as she falls back onto her butt, a small smile creeps onto my face.
“I told you not to lean on that door.” Fisher says coming out of his room.
“Who are you? I say helping her up.
“I’m Brittany.” She says smiling.
“She’s the one that got lost in the woods.” Fisher says.
“You’re never going to let me forget, that are you?” She says laughing.
“Nope.” He says smiling at her.
“Well, let’s go to dinner.” I say, walking towards the dining hall.

When we get to the dining hall Brittany’s face takes on a disgusted look. She eyes a bowl of purple mush that someone else is eating.
“What is that?” She asks.
“Dinner.” I say flatly.
“Gross.” She groans as Fisher and I sit down at a table.
“Get over it.” I mumble.
“What?” She says looking up from her mush.
“Nothing.” Fisher glares at me so I look down. I quickly choke down my food and stand to leave. “Bye.”
“Where are you going?” Fisher says looking away from Brittany.
“I need to talk to Anissa.” I say walking away.

When I get to the fitting room the door is shut and locked. I knock on the door but there’s no answer. Soon I find myself pounding on the door with both hands.
“Anissa!” I scream, throwing myself against the door. “Anissa!”
“What?” She says opening the door.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry I yelled at you!” I say crying.
“Okay. Calm down.” She says.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” I whisper.
“Every one adjusts in their own way.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Apology excepted.” She says. “Curfews in five minutes, you should go.” She says shutting the door.
“Okay.” I say to the door.

As I walk towards my door Fisher steps out of his room and blocks my path. I try to step around him but the hall is to small. When I try to push him out of they way he doesn’t even sway under my best efforts.
“What do you want?” I say finally giving up.
“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” He says crossing his arms over his chest.
“Who said I don’t want to talk to you?”
“I can I kinda tell by the way you acted tonight.” He says angrily.
“I have training in the morning.” I say try to step past him again.
“Why are you mad at me?” He snaps.
“I’m not mad at you!” I snap back. “Get out of my way!”
“Not till you tell me why you’re mad.”
“Well, we’re going to be standing here for a long time.”
“Why won’t you tell me?” Fisher yells.
“Wow, anger issues?” I say leaning against the wall.
“Is every thing okay?” Brittany’s voice comes from some where behind Fisher.
“We’re fine.” Fisher says turning around to face her. I take this opportunity to step around him. He sticks his foot in my doorway before I can get the door shut. “We’re not done here.”
“I think we are.” I say, slamming the door as hard as I can on his foot. He doesn’t even flinch.
“Why did you do that?”
“Leave me alone.” I say walking away from the door.
“No.” He says flatly.
“You sure every things okay?” Brittany says poking her head around Fisher to look at me.
“I don’t know how your fiance put up with you.” I say, ignoring Brittany. Fisher steps backwards, anger flashes across his face.
“Don’t you dare talk about her!” He yells knocking over the table next to my door. “Don’t even talk about her!” He says taking another step back. “You,” He says poking his finger at me. “You have no right to talk about her! You didn’t even know her!” He yells, smashing his fist through my wall.
“Good night.” Brittany says quietly running back to her room.
“What was that? Don’t smash my wall!”
“Don’t talk about Grace!” He spits. Suddenly all my anger disappears and I regret yelling at him.
“Was that her name?” I ask softly.
“Yes.”
“Pretty.”
“I know.” He says smiling.
“What was she like?” I asks, sitting down on my couch. Fisher follows, sitting down next to me.
“Amazing.” He says still whispering.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For yelling at you, for bringing her into our fight.”
“Don’t be, I shouldn’t have bugged you.”
“It’s okay.” We sit in silence for a few minutes.
“Sorry about your wall.”
“I’ll make sure Octavius knows it was your fault.” He laughs.
“Yeah.” He says laughing again. “He’s mad at you, you know.”
“Isn’t everyone?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well, this afternoon I totally screamed at Anissa and then I made you mad and I wasn’t very nice to Hannah at diner.”
“Relax, everyone’s like that their first week.”
“Sure.” We sit in silence for a few minutes before Fisher stands up, stretching.
“Well, I’m-” Brittany pokes her head in the door and stops him mid-sentence.
“What was that fight about?” She asks, curiosity radiates off her skin.
“Nothing!” I snap, suddenly my blood boils with anger. I stand up, my fists ball up over and over. “It’s none of your business.”
“Oh.” She says stepping back into the hall. “I’ll just go back to my room.” She says pointing towards her door. Fisher looks from me to her and cautiously steps in between like there’s a chance I’m going to leap across the room and rip her head off.
“Good night.” Fisher says to her, forcing a smile.
“Umm... yes. You too.” She practically runs back to her room.
“You really need to learn to control your anger.” He says laughing.
“Me? You punched a hole in my wall and she needs to learn not to be so nosey.”
“You make friends real easy don’t you?”
“Good night.” I say, trying to push him towards the door, after a moment he stops being a wall and lets his feet move. Just as I get him through the door he stops and turns to face me. He has to bend his head down to meet my eyes because he’s so much taller than me.
“Good night.” He whispers, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. His fingers trace my jaw before he drops his hand. Just then we hear a noise and when we look, I just see Brittany’s head before it disappears into her doorway.
“She angers me.” I say.
“Same here.” He says with a laugh.
“You think she’s hot though.”
“There’s only one person I think is hot and she’s not that person.” He says touching my face again.
“Good night.” I step back into my room and shut the door.

When I wake up in the morning Octavius is knocking on my door again. When I open he’s go a large clipboard and feather pen. His hand moves feverishly across the clipboard.
“Get dressed.” He orders, his voice full of stress.
“I am dressed.” I say waving my hands over my robe.
“In your jacket. I’ll wait out here.” He doesn’t take his eyes off the clipboard as he says this.
“Okay.” I change quickly into the clothes Anissa made for me then meet Octavius in the hall.
“You’re spending the whole day in training and hopefully you’ll do your job this time.” He says taking off down the hall. I stay where I am.
“No.”
“What?” Octavius says whipping around.
“I said no. I don’t want to kill people.”
“You really should have thought of that before you killed.” His voice fills with anger. “Let’s go.” He grabs my wrist and drags me down the hall. His grip is tight, painful and I struggle to pry his fingers away from my skin.
“Let go of me!” I throw myself onto the ground and kick my legs around wildly.
“Octavius, let her go.” Fisher stand in Octavius way and we all know he’s not getting by.
“She needs to be at training in ten minutes.” He say trying to step past Fisher.
“So that means you get to hurt her?” Fisher pushes Octavius back a bit.
“Yes.” He answers, emphasizing his statement by tightening his grip on my wrist. When I cry out in pain Fisher’s face floods with pure rage.
“You have till the count of three to let her go.” Fisher’s hands clench and unclench at his sides. Obviously he’s trying to control his anger. “One.”
“Fisher move.”
“Two.”
“She has training.” Octavius’ voice has a hint of fear in it.
“Three.” Fisher lunges forward, his fist makes a loud crack when it hits Octavius’ face. Octavius crumbles to the ground, his hand falls from my wrist.
“Fisher!” I rub my wrist with my other hand, trying to ease the pain.
“What?” He asks, helping me up. When I look at Octavius’ face it’s quite obvious Fisher broke his nose. The bone sits at an unhealthy angle and blood pours out of his nostrils. It streams down his face and I almost throw-up at the sight of it.
“Nothing, let’s go to breakfast.”

When we get to the dining hall we see Brittany sitting alone on the other side of the room. We get our mush and sit as far away from her as possible.
“Have you ever realized how much this is like high school?” I say shoveling some mush into my mouth, I swallow it before I get a chance to taste it.
“I don’t really remember high school.”
“How can you not remember high school?”
“Well it has been six years since I graduated.”
“It’s been four since I graduated and I still remember it.” I say pushing my empty bowl away.
“I had two more years than you!” He laughs and leans across the table very slowly. I’m positive he didn’t want me to notice.
“Just think about it, there’s so much unnecessary drama. Next your going to tell me there’s a dance tomorrow.”
“You wish.”
“Ha ha. Sure.”
“Emma Peterson?” A man says coming up behind me. He has dark skin, dark hair, and dark eyes to match.
“Yes.”
“I need to talk to you.” He says pulling me out of my chair.
“I’m sorry my mother told me not to talk to strangers.” I try to pull my arm away but he’s too strong, they’re all too strong here.
“Now.”
“Hey, Marcus, cool it.” Fisher says standing up. He’s about a foot and a half taller then Marcus and I think I see Marcus take a step back.
“She assaulted Octavius.” He says snatching my arm again.
“Really? You think she could hurt Octavius?” Fisher laughs.
“Hey! Look at this.” I say flexing my tiny arm, it’s pitiful and even I can tell that. Fisher just pushes my arm down.
“Who punch Octavius then?” Marcus says glaring at me.
“I punched him. Okay? What are you going to do? Suspend me?”
“I don’t have the power to do that.” Marcus take another step back before he turns and walks out the doors.
“Wow, I’m proud. You didn’t punch anything that time.”
“Maybe,” He pauses to take a breath. “you should go to training.”

I argue with him for about half an hour before he picks me up and carries me to the training room. When we get there Fisher is asked to leave and I’m put back in the tiny, dark room. I stand in there for what seems like an hour before they open the door. The room is empty, there’s not crying girl strapped to a chair in the middle of the room. It’s just empty.
“What do you want me to do?” I say knowing someone is watching me. Slowly four doors appear on the white walls, one in each corner.
“Find the girl.” A voice says, it a voice I don’t recognize. Which means it’s not Octavius.
“What does that mean?”
“Find the girl.” They say simply.
“Yeah I got that.” I mumble, picking a door.

A maze! That’s what this is! I think as I step into the maze. The walls and floor are painted white and they make me think I’m a lab rat looking for a piece of cheese.
In my head I feel like I’m walking around randomly, but some how, in my chest, I know that every turn I make is the right one. I know this because I feel a tug in my chest, every time I come to an intersection the tug tells me which way to go and I don’t question it. After twenty minutes of walking I ‘find the girl’. Her blond hair is pulled back in a loose pony tail and she leans a gains the wall of the maze, looking bored. She wears a grey t-shirt and plain blue jeans.
“Finally.” She says pulling a stopwatch out of her pocket. “Twenty-two minutes.”
“What’s going on?”
“Your in training, what do you think’s going on?”
“I don’t know.” I snap at her suddenly feeling defensive. “I wouldn’t have asked if I knew the answer.”
“Wow. Octavius was right, you do have an attitude.”
“Can I go now?” I don’t wait for her response. I turn around, going the way I came. But now the pull in my chest is gone and without it I’m lost. After a few minutes the girl catches up with me.
“Where are you going?”
“To my room.”
“Your room is that way.” She says pointing to the left.
“I know that.” I say turning down the hall.

Three hours later I’m still wandering around the maze, the blond girl still walks with me, only now she’s silent.
“I give up.” I say dropping to the floor.
“Good job! You finished course one.” Octavius’ voice comes from some hidden speaker. “Trust the pull in your chest, without it your totally lost.”
Suddenly the maze walls disappear in a puff of blue mist. Then that goes and I’m left alone sitting on the floor of an empty white room. Slowly Octavius materializes in front of me. His noes is just a lump of bruised cartilage, obviously Fisher did too much damage to be repaired.
“You may go back to your room.” He waves his hand in one quick motions and a door opens on the far wall. “Go!” He yells shoving me towards the door.

Back at my room I change out of my training clothes because I know I’ll get yelled at for wearing it around the castle. When I’m done I knock on Fisher’s door but he doesn’t answer so I go to Anissa’s. Her door is open when I get there so I just walk in. The girl from the maze stand on a box in the middle of the room, her arms held out away from her sides. Anissa holds a measuring tape to one of the girl’s arms. The room is a sea of colorful fabrics, different blues, greens, reds, and purples swirl together on the floor.
“Hey, what’s going on?” I ask coming up behind her.
“Anissa’s going to make me a dress.” She says smiling.
“Why?”
“For the ball.” She says like I’m the dumbest person in the world.
“What ball?” I say sitting down on the floor next to a pile of fabric.
“It’s the best thing that we get all year. They give us crappy food and a gym for our only form of entertainment but at least they give us a ball.” She laughs.
“Cool.”
“I’m Chloe by the way.”
“Emma. But you know that already.”
“Yep.” She smiles.
“So what’s the ball like?” I pick up a piece green fabric.
“It’s so much fun!” She practically screams. “Anissa and the other stylists make dresses and tuxes. A lot of people go with dates and we have a photographer. They get a Dj, somehow. It’s just... amazing.” She gets a dreamy look on her face a she talks.
“So it’s kind of like prom?”
“Or any high school dance, but whatever, it’s super fun.”
“Do you have a date?” I ask trading the green fabric for a purple piece.
“Yeah, Fisher asked me.”
“Really?” I’m shocked. “When?”
“Last month.” She says stepping down from the box. Anissa motions for me to take her place.
“Arms out.” Anissa says talking a measuring tape out of her pocket.
“I’ll see you later.” Chloe says moving towards the door.
“Yeah, see you later.”
“I’m sorry.” Anissa says after Chloe shut’s the door.
“Why?” I drop my arms.
“I know you like Fisher.”
“So what if I like Fisher?”
“Oh I guess you’re okay with him taking Chloe to the ball then.” She says holding a piece of red fabric up to my arm.
“Yep, I am.” Lier, lier pants on fire.
“Good.”
“I should go.” I say stepping off the box.
“Come back tomorrow, you need to pick out a fabric.” Anissa calls after me as I close the door.

When I get back to my room I pull all the draws out of my dresser and rip the sheets off my bed. When I start to calm down I think about what Fisher said to me last night and I take a painting off the wall and stake a hole through it with the bedpost. When I turn to face the spot where the painting use to hang I see a small wooden door. The door is about the size of a CD case with a small key hole in the bottom, right corner.
“Wow.” I murmur, grabbing a paper clip off my desk. I bend the thin metal into a strait line before pushing it into the lock. I smile as the lock clicks and the door swings open. A small box sits in the center of the cabinet. The box is gold with tiny, intricate, emerald flowers inlaid on the cover. When I finally lift the cover I find a gold necklace sitting in the green velvet. The pendant is made of simple shapes, the center is a square emerald. A gold square and two gold circles surround the emerald. And thin, gold rods branch off the corners of the emerald. I stroke the cold metal before fastening it around my neck.
Just as I fasten the chain someone knocks on the door. I close the tiny door and put the now ruined painting back on the wall before opening the door. Fisher stands in the hall with his hands behind his back, he smiles when I open the door.
“Hey Em.”
“Hello.” I say crossing my arms over my chest.
“I brought these for you.” He pulls a bouquet blue tulips out from behind his back. Tulips are my favorite flower but I’ve never seen any this color before.
“No thanks.” I say easing the door shut an inch.
“Oh come on.” He pleads.
“Where did you get them?”
“There’s a spot in the woods, the mist dyes white ones this color.” He holds them out to me.
“How do you know tulips are my favorite flowers?”
“You just told me.” I just glare at him. “All girls like flowers, it’s a coincidence that tulips are your favorite.”
“That’s stereotypical.” I say snatching the flowers out of his hand. I drop them on my desk and push him into the hall.
“Maybe it is but that doesn’t mean you don’t love them.” He smiles again leaning against his door. I close my own and speed walk in the direction of the dinning hall.
“Hey!” He says coming after me. “Hey! Are you okay?” He grabs my hand ands spins me around to face him.
“Oh yeah, I’m just peachy.” I say forcing a smile.
“You’re about as peachy as a rock, even in a good mood.”
“Thanks.” I say sarcastically.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah I know what you mean. You mean that I am a psychopathic, feeble, uncivil, horrible person that doesn’t to be treated nicely. Maybe I should even be destroyed! Emotionally and physically! Oh and hey while we’re at it destroy me fashionably! I mean seriously what is this?” I yell tugging at the sleeve of my robe. Fisher stares at me like I’m crazy for a few minutes.
“Follow me.” He says finally then he turns and walks down the hall in a brisk pace. He brings me to the gym.
“Wow, you know about weird blue flowers and you bring me to the gym?” He shakes his head. “No it’s cool. I love the smell of sweat before diner.” I say sarcastically.
“Working out is a good way to release anger.”
“Thanks Dr. Phil.” I say, my voice still dripping with sarcasm.
“Haha.”
“Okay, thanks for the advice but I’m hungry. I’m going to go get some mush.”
“It is only advice, no one said you had to take it.”
“I know what advice is.”

At diner Chloe sits with Fisher and I. Chloe laughs at every thing that Fisher says, even the stuff that isn’t meant to be funny. After a while her laughter starts to get on my nerves the only satisfaction is Fisher seams to be bothered by it too. All through dinner I wait for one of them to bring up the ball but nether do. Diner passes quickly and when I get back to my room afterwards I immediately go back to tearing it apart. This time I pull the mirror off the wall above the sink in the bathroom and smash it in the bathtub. Then instantly regret it and steal the one from Brittany’s room. By the time of lights out my hands are scrapped up and I’m exhausted.

When I wake in the morning I find my self curled up on the floor. But I don’t have much time to figure out what happened last night because soon someone is banging on my door. When I open my door Dani is standing in front of me, a huge smile plastered on her face.
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you talking about? You invited me over.” She pushes me out of the way and flops down on my bed. And when I turn around I see that I’m in my dorm room. All my stuff is in the exact place it was before graduation.
“What day is it?” I ask baffled.
“Wednesday, why?” She slides of my bed and onto the floor, from there she proceeds to crawl under my bed. I keep a stash of peanut butter and Oreos under there.
“Just wondering.” In that second I made the decision to not care about what was going on and just be happy to be with Dani again. “So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know.” She unscrews the lid of the peanut butter.
“I’ve got it!” I grab my laptop of my desk and slid a DVD into the disk draw. “Titanic!” I cry jumping onto my bed.

I wake up with tears streaming down my face, and I realize it was all a dream. I sit up and try to stop the tears from streaming down my face. As they start to slow Fisher burst through my door.
“Are you okay? I heard you crying?” He pauses to look around. “Why is your room a mess?”
“How did you hear me crying?”
“My job is to guide dead people through the wood to a castle full of dead people. I can hear crying a mile away.” He laughs, reaching down to help me up. “But seriously, what happened to your room?”
“Just doing some rearranging.”
“Um... okay.”
“Yeah.”
“Wanna get some breakfast?”
“No thanks, I think I’m going to skip breakfast this morning.”
“Oh, okay.” He says disappointed.

After he leaves I go down to training where Octavius tells me that it’s my day off. So from there I go to Anissa’s to pick out fabric. When I get there I see that Anissa’s room is still a mess of fabrics. All the colors still swirl together in weird messy patterns.
“I’m here to pick my fabric.” I say wading through the colors.
“Um... okay, don’t hate me.” she says appearing from behind a huge pile of clothes.
“What did you do?”
“I kinda, um, already made your dress.” She gives me apologetic look. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” I pause smiling “just let me see it.” I add excitedly.
“Okay!” She squeals with excitement as she runs into the back room.

When she returns she is carrying a dark blue, strapless, ball gown. The bottom is almost completely covered with embroidered silver jewels, with another strip that wraps around the dress starting from the bottom and going up to the bust. The fabric reflects light in this cool shimmery way. It’s the most beautiful and detailed dress I’ve ever seen. It’s ever prettier than the dresses that celebrities wear on the red carpet.
“You made this?” I say reaching out to touch the soft, silky fabric.
“Yeah, who else?” She says laughing.
“This is amazing! How did you even make this already, you measured me last night.”
“I have my ways.” She says giving a sly smile, “Put it on.” She insists, holding it out to me.
“Okay.” I say talking it without hesitation.

It fits me perfectly, hugging in just the right places while being loss in other areas. It highlights my slim frame without making me look like a shapeless stick. When I walk out of the dressing room the fabric makes a gentle swishing sound as I move. I can’t help but do a small twirl, the skirt of the dress fans out over the sea of stray fabric scraps.
“Perfect.” Anissa says as I do another twirl.
“Stunning.” It’s Chloe, she too is in a dress. Her’s is black and grey. The skirt is ruffled black silk that goes all the way to the floor. The rest is grey with different shades of black making a interesting pattern of plants across her chest and torso. Finally two thin, sparkly straps hold the dress up. Personally I feel my dress is more detailed and beautiful but I don’t say that out loud and feel ashamed for even thinking it.
“You too.” I say smiling.
“Do you think Fisher’s gonna like it?” She says smoothing her hands over the skirt of her dress.
“Yeah, he’ll love it.” I assure her, forcing a smile. She just giggles, a huge smile on her face. “I’m going to change.” I say hurrying back behind the folding wall that makes up the dressing room. When I come out Chloe is sitting on the floor in a t-shirt and some jean shorts.
“Do you want me to hold onto the dress or do you want to take it back to your room?” Anissa asks taking it from me to put it in a dress bag.
“I’ll take it.” I say reaching out for it. She hands it over. “Fisher told me I should come to you for some workout clothes.” I say laying the dress over a chair.
“Oh sure, sure. Follow me.” She says leading me through a door at the back in the room. When I step through the door I’m shocked to see a room fully stocked with workout clothes, it could be a Nike®™ store.
“Wow.” I say taking it all in.
“Take whatever you want. I’ll be in the front room.” She turns and leaves.

I search through the clothes and sneakers for an hour before I’m satisfied with my pile. Four pairs of shorts, two black and two dark blue, Four t-shirts, all white, and a pair of black sneakers. After finding all I need I gather up my pile and head into the other room. Chloe still sits on the floor only now she’s burrowing under the fabric. Like people do when they go to the beach. I dump my stuff on the chair with my dress and watch as she completely covers herself in fabric.
“What on Earth are you doing?” I say after a few minutes of watching.
“Entertaining myself.” If I hadn't seen her bury herself I wouldn’t be able to tell she was under the fabric. To an unknowing eye it was just a pile of fabric.
“Uh... okay.” I say standing up. I pick up my dress and workout clothes. “Well I’m gonna go.”
“See you later.”

I hurry to my room to change for my workout but when I get there I remember what I did to it last night. I’m suddenly mad at myself for making such a mess. Luckily it doesn’t take me very long to restore order to the room but it’s still valuable time. After everything’s back to normal I change into a pair of shorts, a shirt and my sneakers. When I get to the gym I head right to the treadmill and run for an hour before Fisher comes in and starts running on the treadmill next to me.
“Hey Em.” He says increasing his speed to six miles per hour.
“Hi.” I let a cold tone slip into my voice.
“I see you went to Anissa’s.”
“Yep.” I say slowing my pace.
“Well that’s good.”
“Yep.” I say feeling like a broken record. He doesn’t say anything and we run in silence for another fifteen minutes. “I’m going to go get ready for dinner.” I feel completely uncomfortable and mad around him and I just can’t stand that feeling anymore.
“Yeah me too.” He says shutting down his machine.
“Okay.” I say speed walking out of the gym. I hurry down the hall, trying to put as much distance between us as possible.
“Hey, wait up.” He calls after me. I ignore him.

When I get to my room I slam the door before Fisher can put his arm or foot in the way. After I take a shower I change my clothes and I know I should put my robe on but I’m tired of that smell thing. So instead I grab my clothes from under my bed, the clothes I wore when I killed myself. They have some dried blood on them and are covered in dirt from the walk through the woods but I’m determined to wear them. So I fill my bath tube up with water and wash them with strawberry scented hair conditioner. When I decide they’re clean enough I hang them on the towel rack and dry them with my hair dryer. It takes me an hour and a half to complete the process but when I put them on I’m filled with pleasure. With them on I feel that happy feeling I felt when I was alive. Who new a soft pair of kakis, a white baby doll shirt and a pair of flats could make me feel so good.
When I get to the dinning hall I find the most crowded table I can but Fisher and Chloe still find a way to squeeze in next to me.
“Some one really needs to do something about the food in this place.” Chloe says pushing her bowl onto the floor. How old is this girl? Five? First burying herself in Anissa’s fabrics and now throwing her food on the ground. I think instantly pissed.
“Was that really necessary?” I ask kneeling down to get the bowl.
“I feel as though it was.” She says.
“Well good for you.” I say sarcastically. I place her bowl on the table even though I know she’s just going to knock it off again. I leave before she does so I don’t have to watch.

I go to the library because I know that if I go to my room Fisher will just bother me. It takes me twenty minutes to find the library but I do find it eventually. The heavy looking doors are open so I go in and come face to face with hundreds of hugh shelves. There must be at least a million books in this library.
“Can I help you find something?” An extremely tiny girl pops her head up in front of me, she has thick, bouncy, brown curls that fall to her shoulders. She looks about eighteen but with her petite frame she could pass for twelve.
“Umm... I’m just hiding out here.”
“Why?” She says bouncing into a near by seat.
“Trust me, you don’t wanna know?” I say laughing. “I’m Emma by the way.”
“Hannah.” She says pointing to herself. “I’m the librarian.”
“Angle of Death.” I say frowning.
“Ooh tough break.”
“Tell me about it!” I say a little to enthusiastically, in the distance I hear someone shush me. We start giggling uncontrollably, this makes the ‘shush’ person go crazy, they start yelling at us about how this is a library and some of us have work to do. Of course his complaining just makes us laugh harder. Then some guy named Darius comes and asks us to leave the library if we can’t control our selves.
“You can’t tell me to leave the library, I’m the librarian.” Hannah says laughing in his face.
“We both know that this position is not permanent and the librarian satis can be revoked, as can any positions.” He says glaring at her.
“Really?” I say intrigued. “Can ‘Angel of Death’ be revoked?”
“No, that position is permanent due to the fact that it has been placed on a person as punishment. Not a privilege like librarian is to Hannah here.” This little speech makes Hannah’s smug grin disappear.
“Sorry.” She says discouraged.
“That’s what I though.” He says grouchily.
“We’ll try to keep it down.” I say before Darius turns on his heels and trudges off into the depths of the library. We sit quietly for a few moments.
“So what did you do?” Hannah whispers, leaning across the table.
“Excuse me?” I whisper back, confused.
“What did you do to become the ‘Angel of Death’?”
“I really couldn’t tell you, I don’t even know myself.” I tell her this because I’m tired of explaining something I don’t know to people I don’t really know. “What did you do to obtain this sweet gig.” I whisper, giggling.
“I was raped and watched as my family was murdered. I couldn’t imagine life without them so I killed myself.” She says it so cooly, so calm. I can tell she’s tired of her story too.
“Oh.” I say not wanting to say anything but wanting her to know I was truly listening.
“It’s fine, you get over it, you have to. You can’t let that pain control your life.” She says slumping down into a near by seat. I follow, throwing myself into a overstuffed leather lounge chair. “I just wish I’d had that little thought before I’d killed myself.”
“There’s one thing that this life is filled with. Regret.”
“Don’t you just wish you could replace it with happiness?” Hannah ask playing with a strand of hair.
“Or better food.” I say laughing, Hannah laughs too.
“Yeah.” A bell dings somewhere in the books causing Hannah to jump out of her chair. “Someone needs help.” She says straitening her shirt. “I have to go, bye Emma.” She hurries off in the maze before I have time to answer her.
“Bye.” I mumble hauling myself out of the cushy leather.

Chapter Two

CHAPTER TWO

When I get to the hall way in front of my room I find Fisher sitting on the floor with his back pressed against his door, the red ball in hand. He throws it against my door as I draw closer.
“Hey Em.” His voice is cold, so I copy it with my own.
“Hi Fisher.”
“Where’d you disappear to tonight?”
“I don’t think it’s any of your business.” I answer snottily.
“I had someone I wanted you to meet.” He ignores my rudeness.
“Really?” I ask slightly intrigued.
“Yeah, I think you’ll like him.”
“What’s his name?” I asks, folding under my own curiosity.
“Sam.” A huge smile explodes across his face as he says this, like he’s won some kind of war. “He’s an Angel of Death too.”
“Oh, yeah, cause that’s what I want. Another murderer! We can start a club!” I says angrily.
“Whatever.” He says standing up.
“Whatever?”
“What? I’m not going to fight with you.” He bounces the ball off the wall, it whizzes past my head and I grab it out of the air before he can catch it again.
“Then don’t fight with me.” I say toss the ball to him. “Goodnight Fisher.”
“Goodnight Emma.” He says as I ease the door shut.

Two days till the ball, I thinks laying on my bed in my workout shorts. One week since I found out about Fisher and Chloe. The week had been horrible, I’d spent days in training and my nights in the library with Hannah. As well as avoiding Fisher and Chloe at all cost, even if that meant hiding in my room for hours while they stood in the hall talking. None of it mattered though, soon I’d be leaving the middle ground, heading back to Earth to do my job. And of course Sam would be coming with me, he would be my guide, there to make sure my ‘pull’ was for the right person. What luck. I could almost feel the time ticking by, first seconds then minutes till finally someone knocks on my door. It’s Sam.
Octavius had introduced us just a day after Fisher had told me about him. He was from the eighteen hundreds, he was born in 1845 and grew up in a wealthy house hold in Alabama (This made him have that swoon worth southern boy accent and the manners to match.). His father owned a large cotton plantation, with many slaves. When the Civil War started in 1861 his five older brothers joined the army and wanted him to lie about his age and join too, at sixteen he was to young to join but the plenty of boys his age were joining. Sam disagreed with his family’s beliefs, he didn’t think that someone could be judged by the color of their skin. So he hung himself, to keep out of the army and to get away from his racist family. When he reached The Middle Ground he was made an angel of death because the Elders decided that he had been cowardly in his choice of suicide, they had told him that he was gutless for not being able to stand up to his family.
I remember how dazzled I’d been just by the way he’d smiled. His messy brown hair was sticking out in all directions with a cute boyish quality. His face was a window into his personality, cute and boyish, those two words described him totally. Then came his eyes, amazingly b/d/r/a/i/r/g/k/h/t?????. I open the door now to see those eyes.
“Good morning Miss Emma.” Sam says smiling.
“Hello Samuel” He cringes when I use his full name.
“I’ve been told you will be practicing in the wood this morning.”
“Yay,” I say without enthusiasm. “I can’t wait to be out in that dark, creepy, mist filled forest. I’m so happy.”
“Please ma’am, don’t complain like that before Octavius, I reckon it’ll make him unhappy.” He says as we start walking toward the training area.
“Why can’t I make him mad? What’s he gonna do? I’m dead and I’m an angel of death.”
“Well, ma’am, he can’t take the ball away.” This shuts me up quickly.
“I’ll have to be careful to keep my mouth shut.” I say as he pushes the door to the training center open. But instead of the empty, white room I’d been expecting we find our selves in the middle of the misty forrest. Octavius sits at a dest a few feet away from us, his fingers cruise over the keys of a small grey laptop.
“Hey Octa.” I say smiling. He just nods at me, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me and that he hasn’t liked me since the day Fisher crushed his nose.
“If it isn’t obvious enough you will be in the forest today. This of course isn’t actually the forest, this is a holographic image.” He pauses as Sam interrupts him.
“Well I’ll be.” he says reaching out to a near by tree.
“Altho it looks like we’re in the middle of the forest we’re truly in the training room like always. If you do well today you’ll be outside for real tomorrow.” He motions for Sam to step up to the desk and he shows him something on the screen. “Sam knows what the cursed one looks like,” The cursed one, I think looking around at the trees, lovely thing to call the people I’m to kill. How ‘bout the walking dead? “there will be other’s in the woods with you but they’re just holograms. Also we won’t be telling you if the cursed one is a male or a female.” He says as he starts to type again. “Begin.” He says, before he crackles and disappears. Apparently he was a hologram too.

I take a moment to study the trees, they look completely real, not see through at all like on television. If Hologram Octa hadn’t said anything I would have though we we’re truly in the forest. I reach out to touch the bark of one tree but the pull in my chest makes my feet move before my fingers make contact.
I walk through the trees, completely under the guide of my ‘pull’. I weave between rocks, trees, bushes, and even some holographic people with Sam trailing behind, seeming bored. He has already had this training so he always looks bored, but he always holds his toung. Still it doesn’t take me more than an hour to find the cursed one, we find him trying to touch one of the holographic trees, but just as his hand looks like it’s going to make contract his fingers cruise right through the dark bark and he pulls it back to try again. And that for one is a dead give away that he’s the one I’m looking for because all the hologram people don’t seem to notice the fake trees. After a quick conformation from Sam I walk over to him and lay my hand palm down on his back, “Good bye.” I whisper, as he he turns to mist, the only difference between his mist and the rest is that his is slightly darker and stronger smelling. As his mist floats off into the distance the trees quiver and zap out of focus before completely disappearing.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.11.2011

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