Caleb.

 I looked out the window of the car as Ricky drove me home and tried to keep the tears from falling out my eyes. Once we pulled up to the house, I got out of the car and ran up to the front porch steps. Ricky was behind me soon and unlocked the door for us to enter. When I got settled upstairs, he came to my door and just looked at me like I was broken.

"Rick, I'm alright." I assured him as I walked to close the shades on my window.
"You don't look alright, Dana."
"Look; I'm just going to get through the rest of senior year here with you and Camille. And I won't make a complaint about it again. I promise. Just don't let me go back home. Please, Ricky." I begged and felt the tears form in my eyes again.
 "Ok. I promise, Dana."

I spent another day at home with Ricky and helped him clean until I was transmitted to Reed High School. I walked through the doors on the first day and watched every head turn my way. Once I got my schedule, I walked down the hall to my first period class and stopped outside of the door. I looked through the glass and saw the students laughing so hard that they had tears in their eyes. I knocked softly and the teacher opened the door. She smiled at me softly and opened the door wider for me to enter.

"Class, this is our new student, Dana Richmond. Dana, these is your junior Physics class. I'm Ms. Carlina, your teacher." She said. "Have a seat next to Caleb. Caleb, raise your hand."

A guy with his eyes cast down at the paper on his desk raised his head slightly and raised his hand upwards, signaling me over towards him. I walked past a group of guys who were all whispering about me and one even winked at me. I rolled my eyes and sat next to Caleb. He smelled so good; like soap and a little car oil. I looked at him through the corner of my eyes and stared at every feature of his body. He had nice muscles, tanned skin, and sweat lined his arm gently. The movements of his breathing made his vains jump in his arms and it made me smile slightly.

"You can stop staring already; I'm a human being. I promise." He snapped and then turned the page in his book.

I felt my cheeks heat up and then I looked away from him, burying my face in my arms. And that's basically how every day went from then on. Me staring at Caleb and him not caring, really. Up until it was time for the Winter Formal...

The Final Question.

The Winter Formal was supposed to be the biggest dance of the year for all high school students. Everyone was going to be there and they had a week to find a date. I got worried and then a bunch of guys started to ask me. All the while, Caleb lounged around like he didn't care if he went or not. I walked up to his car as he slung his backpack onto the front seat. He turned to me when he heard the clicking of my shoes behind him.

"Hey Caleb, are you going to the Winter Formal?" I asked him after a moment of silence.
"No. Dances are nothing but a waste of time and I've got sports and school to worry about. Not some stupid ass dance." He snapped.
"Ok, what's with the whole badass attitude? Are you some asshole? Because that's how I think of you right now!" I shouted.
"Bye, Dana." He got inside of his car and slammed the door.

I banged on the window until he rolled it down and glared at me.

"Go with me," I said to him.
"No, thanks."
"Come on, it's just a stupid dance. Plus, everyone already has a date and there's only you and I left to find some. So, please?"
"Do I hear you begging?" He joked.
"Don't be a puta, Caleb. Please? I'm asking."
He looked straight out the window and sighed. "One night," he said more to himself than to me. I smiled and kissed his cheek softly.
"See you later, Caleb." I called to him as I ran towards my friend Kendra's car.

So, once I got home, the hard part began. I walked through the door slowly with Kendra trailing behind me, laughing on the phone with her boyfriend. We walked up to my room where I found Ricky waiting for me patiently.

"What's up, Rick?" I asked and sat down on my bed.
"We have to talk about the fact of you walking around with birth control pills," he said in a deep tone as he threw the bottle next to me.
"It's not what you think..." I tried to explain.
"Then what is it, Dana? What is going on?" He shouted.
"They're for my menstural cycle. I have terrible cramps and the medicine in them help my cramps ease up. I'm not having sex," I told him honestly.
"So you carry them every damn day?" He asked.
"I carried them every day so that you didn't find them and do what you're doing right now!" I yelled at him.
He stood there considering my concept and then his facial expression eased up. He sighed and ran a hand over his forehead softly.
"Dana, I'm sorry for getting so angry at you. You're my baby sister and, truth be told, I don't trust a guy in this town to be with you. They're all about one thing and that's about being players." Ricky looked more angry and frustrated then calm.
"Well, you'll have to put up with it for one night in about a week because I just got asked to the Winter Formal," I said.
"Who is it?" He asked in a lower voice.
"Caleb Cole."
"I know him; he works for my friend. He's a pool guy. In fact, he's working now," Ricky said.
"Where does your friend live?" I asked quickly.
"1002 Carler Ave."

I grabbed Kendra's car keys and ran out of the house. I drove down to the address Ricky told me and, in fact, there was a pool guy there. Same height, same skin color, same hair color, and when he turned around, he had the same everything. He didn't see me but I definitely saw him. To me, he looked a lot cuter in a pool boy uniform. I smiled and when he bent over to clean the pool, I took my chance to sneak up on him. I pushed him into the pool and he fell in with a scream. I burst out in laughter as he rose up out of the water, swearing and shaking the water from his hair.

"What the hell! I can get fired, Dana!" he yelled at me.
"Sorry, but you look hot in your uniform. I wanted to cool you off," I chuckled and then couldn't help but laugh again.

He climbed out of the pool and stood over me like a skyscraper. I stopped laughing and looked into his deep, blue eyes. Water dripped from his hair and he looked back into my eyes. Our gaze broke by someone clearing their throat beside us and we looked up to see a taller man, about a few inches higher than Caleb, looking at us. Caleb straightened his posture and stepped back.

"You're supposed to be cleaning my pool, not swimming in it." The man said harshly.
"Sir, that's my fault. He's a friend from school and I was just-," I tried to explain but the man cut me off.
"You're Richard's sister?" he asked.
"Yes," I told him.
"I'm good friends with Richard." He told me and smiled, extending a hand generously for me to shake.
I shook it nicely and then looked over at Caleb cleaning his pool filter. I felt bad for getting him in trouble by his boss but the final question was: Was he really about to kiss me?

The Winter Formal.

I never really worried about my appearance around a guy in my previous relationships. But this time felt different; felt important. Caleb was picking me up at eight to take me to the dance and I had to make sure everything was in place. I fixed my hair into a neat bun at the top of my head and wore the diamond necklace Gram gave me for my birthday last year. I only wear it on special occasions and this occasion was very special to me. My dress was sleek and white with sparkled beading down the V-neckline. It showed cleavage but not that much so that my brother would say something about it. Then came my shoes; white heels with satin bows on the sides of it. Perfect  I said to myself and then walked downstairs to meet up with my date.

Caleb stood at the bottom of the staircase with my brother in a charcoal black tux and a white rose in the left breast pocket. He looked up at me when I descended the stairs and so did my brother. Ricky smiled at me easily and then looked at Caleb.

"No funny shit with my sister, man. Do you hear me? That means keep your hands to yourself at all times," he said.
Caleb cleared his throat and mumbled, "Yes, sir."
"Ricky, stop scaring him. I'll be home at twelve."

Caleb and I got inside of his car and rode to the dance together. We shocked everyone when we walked inside together. Girls shot me looks and guys high-fived Caleb. We didn't dance or talk all that much and when it came time to go home, we went to his car and just sat on the hood. I looked up towards the sky and breathed deeply in the crisp, cold air of December. I could feel Caleb's eyes on me but I was terrified to look over at him; terrified he'd leave or disappear. But he grabbed my hand and, when I looked at him, he kissed me on my lips. I tangled my fingers through his soft hair and pulled him closer to me. As good as it felt to be kissing a guy again, I was the one to break our contact and gasped for air when we stopped tonguing each other vigorously. He smiled at me, his face flushed with embarassment, and opened my door for me to get in.
When I got home, Ricky was upset with me for the fact that I was late by ten minutes but I didn't care. I got the guy, the night, and the kiss.

Caleb's Girlfriend.

Monday was another whole week for me. I walked into me and Caleb's first period and sat in my seat. No Caleb?

I wondered. That was odd. He was the student who would never miss a day at any cost. If he was dying, he'd die while he was learning in school. Then, as I numbered all of the things he'd do to stay in school, he was at the classroom door with some girl pressed to his body, kissing him like he was her last meal. I stared in disbelief and then he let her go with one last peck on the lips and came to sit next to me. I looked away from him and looked down into my textbook.
All period, he tried to get my attention by writing notes or poking my arm softly during notes or lectures but I'd ignore him with a passion. He finally sighed and gave up. When the bell rang, I grabbed my backpack and ran out the room. I avoided him for the rest of the day and barely got passed him when he stopped me in the parking lot.

"Why have you been ignoring me, Dana?" he asked me while following me to my car.
"Go kiss and hug up on your girlfriend," I snapped.
"Is that what this is about? Me and Georgia?" he almost yelled.
"Yes, it is! I go to one dance with you and you have a damn girlfriend two days later? That's what I call a fucking whore! A man-whore at that!" I screamed back at him.
"Stop making a damn scene. You know that kiss didn't mean anything to you," he said.
"If it meant nothing, then I wouldn't be making a big deal out of it! If it meant nothing, it wouldn't have fucking happened!" I was still screaming and it drew more people.
"Lower your-," I cut him off mid-sentence.
"Make me!" I got inside of his face and wasn't moving away any time soon.
Just when I thought my temper would go down, a voice came from behind me and said, "Who the hell is this, babe?"

I turned around to see the girl that was locking lips with Caleb this morning standing there looking pissed off beyond belief. She had her hands on her hips and looked me up and down with a disgusted look. I stared at her with the same look of disgust on my face and then smirked at how pissed she was at me.

"White trash," she mumbled while turning around.
"Have fun with my sloppy seconds, whore." I called after her and then got in my car.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I got home around five o'clock and then got started on the cheer routines for the upcoming game. All the while I was practicing, Caleb kept calling and texting my phone. I ignored it and just focused on the routines. I continued for another half hour and then went to sleep on my bed.

Ordinary Days.

Life just keeps getting harder and harder for me lately. Guys are always cheating on women and using them as toys. I should have listened to my brother about the guys in this town. They're nothing but lying dogs and only want one thing. I ignored Caleb everytime we were in Physics together and the times he tried to sit with me and the other cheerleaders during lunch. Life without Caleb was much more easier.

I walked to my locker and stuffed books inside of it while fixing my ponytail in the mirror. Caleb's reflection was behind me and I rolled my eyes and slammed my locker shut. I fixed my sock and then adjusted my shorts before starting to walk away from him.

"Dana, stop!" he shouted at me.

I just kept walking and ignored him until he came behind me and grabbed my hand. I jerked away from him and he stared at me with hurt in his eyes. I had tears flowing down my cheeks freely and then started to let my emotions out.

"You think it's alright and that I'll forgive you if you sit here and ask me for forgiveness? That's not how it works Caleb! You're not who I clearly expected you to be and I wasted a kiss on you!"

"You don't mean that." He whispered.

"You're nothing to me! That kiss meant nothing to me! You're nothing but a silly pool boy who works for my brother's friend! You're nothing but the guy I sit next to in Physics class! And you're nothing but the guy I spent two hours at a dance with that I didn't even want to go to! Face it! You're just not my type," I said to his face and walked away without interruption.

 

That night I cried for the first time over a guy. I weeped, actually, into my pillow and didn't stop until I heard the front door close and my brothers footsteps fill the hall. He knocked softly and then entered my dark room.

"You decent?" he asked.

"You were right. You've always been right, Ricky. About everything! Caleb has a girlfriend and the night after I go to the stupid dance with him, he's eating her face off in front of everyone." I couldn't keep myself from bursting into sobs.

Rick stepped over to me and held me close to him like my father used to. Well, before he died, that is. I sobbed on my brother's chest until I grabbed ahold of myself and sniffled as I backed away from him. My brother had a look of pity on his face and reached out for my hand. I slipped back and brought my knees up to my chest slowly.

"Dana, you don't have to be strong anymore..." he whispered to me.

"I have to be. I promised daddy I would be." I said quietly and pulled my covers over myself.

Jai.

After spending a week and a half out of school, I found the strength to go back and finally face Caleb. I walked through the door with my headphones in and bookbag over my shoulder. He looked directly at me and then stepped quickly towards me. I bowed my head and walked in the opposite direction, back out the doors. I saw familiar boots in front of me when I bumped into a body and took a step back to see the face. His high cheek bones, his eyebrow lines, his long lashes, his pale blue eyes, his whiter-than-white teeth, his familiarness.

"Jai Ramirez?" I smiled a little.

"Hey Dana," he said to me and pulled me close.

Our faces were so close and I felt the urgency to lean forward more and bring us closer together. I smelled smoke and cigarettes on his body but it didn't matter. He smelled like home to me. He smelled like Jai. He was the one to close the distance between the two of us and kiss me softly on the lips. I stood there for just a moment with my hands on his forearms before he deepened the kiss and I wrapped my arms around his neck. A throat's clearing pulled us apart and I looked over to see Caleb's hurt face staring at me. Then his hurt turned to anger as he looked over at Jai.

"Why are you kissing my girl?" Caleb said to Jai's face.

"Last time I checked, my best friend was single," Jai retorted.

"Is that what this is? A friendship," Caleb scoffed.

"Yes, that's exactly what it is. And really dude? Grow some balls. You're premature," Jai said.

"Enough!" I yelled at both of them.

They turned their attention to me and my eyes filled with tears. Caleb reached for my arm but I just stepped back. Students were filing around us now and I didn't want to make a scene so I just walked off school grounds and went into the woods beside the coffee shop.

I couldn't believe Jai kissed me. I couldn't believe Caleb called me his. I couldn't believe I was crying over either of them. They aren't worth my time. They never will be.

I'll Be Over You.

I rode in the car with my brother then Flaws and All by Beyonce came on the radio. I couldn't help but smile and sing along with the lyrics.

I'm a trainwreck in the morning

I'm a bitch in the afternoon

Every now and then without warning

I can be really mean towards you

I'm a puzzle, yes indeed.

Every complex in every way

And all the pieces aren't even in the box, and yet

You see the picture clear as day.

I don't know why you love me

And that's why I love you

You catch me when I fall

Accept my flaws and all

And that's why I love you...

I looked out the window and thought about the kiss me and Caleb had the night of the winter formal. How soft his lips were and how I was floating before it ended. Then I thought of his lips being connected to that girls' in front of everyone and making me look like a fool. I got angry all over again and tears filled my eyes. The song changed to Mama's Broken Heart by Miranda Lambert and I sang loud along with it.

I cut my bangs with some rusty kitchen scissors

I screamed his name ‘til the neighbors called the cops

I numbed the pain at the expense of my liver

Don’t know what I did next all I know, I couldn’t stop

Word got around to the barflies and the baptists

My mama’s phone started ringin’ off the hook

I can hear her now sayin’ she ain’t gonna have it

Don’t matter how you feel, it only matters how you look

Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up

Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady

'Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together

Even when you fall apart

But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

Ricky smiled at me softly and then we came home. I grabbed my bag out the backseat of the car and then walked up the front steps to the door. I thought to myself, I'm totally over him. Maybe I will give Jai a chance! then walked into the house.

Date with Jai.

School got easier and easier as I accepted the fact that I was over Caleb. He was out of my life and I guess that was best. I smiled when Jai walked into my third block class and sat next to me in his usual seat then Caleb walked in and sat directly in front of me. Jai started writing in his notebook and everyone else was either talking, on their phones, or in outer space.

Suddenly, a note flew on my desk with Jai's neat handwriting. I opened it slowly and read what was inside.

Will you go on a date with me tonight? It's last minute but I don't care. I want to spend time with the girl I'm falling for. So, how about it? Be my Audrey Hepburn? ~ Jai.

I smiled and wrote back a sweet "Yes" and put a heart beside it before passing it back as soon as the teacher walked in. Class begun but all the knowledge on my mind was what I'd be wearing tonight with Jai.

 

After school, I had to go shopping with Camille since my brother was too busy. We picked up a few groceries before coming back to the house and putting them away.

"Dana," she called when I was walking out of the kitchen.

I turned on my heel. "Yes, Camille?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," she said while looking down.

"For what?" I was confused now.

"For not really being there for you. I mean, I know I don't have to but we're the only girls in this house and, really, I feel bad for not being a role model for you."

"Oh, Camille... I'm honestly a smart girl. My actions partake on who I'm around. Like, with Ricky, I'm always the good little sister."

We both laughed.

I continued, "But that doesn't make me immature. I don't need a womanly role model. Do I want one? Yes, but it should've been my mother. Instead, she stayed strung out on something every night and slept all day so she didn't know what the hell I did. That's why Rick left. I always wondered why he left me. I guess he thought I was strong enough... I am strong, and I got to be that way by being alone with that woman."

The door closed and Rick walked into the house with a grin on his face. He saw us standing in the kitchen and then the look turned serious.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"We were just planning your death," I said.

Camille laughed when his eyes widened and then he grabbed me and picked me up.

"No," I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Take it back," he yelled.

"Alright! I'm sorry, Ricky!" I screamed and dangled my legs.

He laughed and pretended to drop me when the doorbell rang and he set me on my feet.

"Shit, what time is it?" I panicked.

"Watch your language, Dana. It's 6:34, why?"

I ran upstairs quickly and tried to find something to wear through my entire heap of clothing. I ended up picking a pink seethrough shirt with a black cami to go under, some light blue denim capris, a pair of Ray-Ban sunglasses, my silver sandals with straps around the ankles, and a pink bag. I wrapped my hair into a neat bun and put a pink ribbon around it before bouncing downstairs. Jai was sitting across from my brother, fidgeting his fingers lightly and then I came into view of him.

"Ready to go?" I asked.

"Um, yeah..." he said quietly and took my hand as we walked out.

"My brother seems to love you," I joked.

That made him laugh. "He kept staring at me so I got nervous. I'm sorry," he said softly.

"It's ok. He intimidates a lot of the guys I date to see if they get nervous. In his mind, a nervous guy on the first date is an honest guy because he can't hide the fact of what he's doing wrong."

Jai opened my door for me and I slipped into his car. It smelled of smoke and apple scented fresheners. He got into the driver's seat and we started towards wherever he was taking me.

 

We pulled up to an old Starbucks and he got out of the car slowly. I got out a couple minutes later and then he took my hand and walked me up to the door.

"Jai, I don't think we should go in there." I didn't feel so sure about this.

"It's fine," he said surely and then opened the door.

We walked in and there was a small stereo playing soft music and one of the booths was cleaned nicely and set up with candles and food. I smiled and looked at him.

"You went through all of this for one date?" I asked him.

"Well, I did this for one so that there was for sure another one."

He said it with such sincerity that I hugged him tightly before we began our evening together. I even got a goodnight kiss on the cheek before he left.

End of Time.

Today is me and Jai's anniversary and what else better to do but show him how much I love him? In every way. I told Ricky and his immediate answer was...

"No!" Rick's voice boomed throughout the entire house and it made me jump.

"Rick, I'm 17 and plus, I'll be careful. I swear," I told him.

"Dana, that's right. You're 17. You haven't graduated high school yet. And you want to have sex with some guy that I barely know enough about?" he asked in a crazed tone.

"He's not just some guy, Richard!" I called him by his government name and his face scrunched up. "I've known him all of our lives and I love him. I'm in love with him. Can't you just see that and let me make my own choices?" I yelled.

"And what if you get pregnant?" Rick asked.

"Unlikely," I answered.

We stood there face to face before a grin showed up on his face. "You know, you really are my baby sister. I can't argue with you without you getting that same kind of anger."

I smiled back at him and said, "I know you want the best for me but honestly, I'm about to be a woman and I can make my own decisions. I wouldn't do it if I wasn't sure," I promised him.

"And I'll even help her prepare," Camille said after sitting there through the whole fight.

"Fine," my brother said, giving up, "but I'm not leaving this house."

I gasped, horrified of the fact that my brother would hear me moaning and, maybe, screaming.

"Doesn't matter," he said and walked out. Did he read my mind?

 

Camille bought me lingerie and some new perfume for tonight. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun and waited for Jai. His soft knocking let me know he was here and so I opened the door and stood behind it. When he turned, I covered his eyes with my hands and led him to the bed.

"What's all of this?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"Just a little something. It's been a year, you know," I whispered to him.

I took my hands away from his eyes but kept him turned around while I undid the buttons on his shirt and then his jeans. He turned quickly then looked at me from head to toe. The lingerie, the cleared face, the messy bun. It all aroused him and when he bent to kiss me I turned my head slightly, making his lips land on my neck instead. He sucked softly and then kissed down to my breast bone before I was gasping for air.

"You seem eager," I choked.

"Only for you, always for you," he said then sat down.

He worked the ties of my corset loose and pulled it off to reveal my breasts. He licked his lips hungrily before taking one into his mouth. I gasped and grabbed his head slightly while he sucked at my nipple and played with the other. His hands both went to my waist and pulled me down into his lap. I felt the hardness there and rotated my hips to make contact with it, which made us both groan.

"Dana," he whispered in my ear softly and pulled off my bottoms.

"Jai," I looked into his eyes and begged softly.

He smiled and laid me back on the bed before getting up and removing the rest of his clothes. He came down on me and pulled a condom on him. He was bigger than I'd imagined and that frightened me because my brother was just two doors down from us. I bit my lip and he slid inside of me gently. His slow and gentle movements turned into fast and urgent ones and I tried to make as little noise as I could so my brother didn't complain. When I felt the need to release, I couldn't help but cry out as he rubbed my clit and drove deeper inside me.

"You sure, baby?" he whispered in my ear as he thrust one last time.

I came in a rush of spasms and tried to catch my breath once we were done. Jai lay on top of me and was equally out of breath from his orgasm. Once he found the strength to roll off me, he pulled me close and we fell asleep just like that.

Love.

I woke up the next day and the sun hurt my eyes a little. I looked down at Jai's sleeping face and smiled softly. I tried to get up but every time I moved, Jai's arms tightened around my waist.

"Don't you move," he whispered playfully.

"Why not?" I wondered.

"I loved the warm feeling of you in my arms," he told me and opened his eyes.

We kissed passionately before a knock came at the door. I pulled the sheets around my body and then told the person to come in. It was my mother.

 

I jolted awake from my sleep, gasping for breath harshly and tears streaming down my cheeks. Jai woke up quickly and wrapped an arm around me.

"Baby, what's wrong?" he asked in a worried tone.

"I... I..." I tried to say something but I kept choking on my breaths.

Jai called for Ricky and Camille and they ran down the hall and into the room. Ricky sat down next to me, despite my nakedness under the sheets, and pulled me close.

"Baby girl, what happened?" Rick whispered to me.

"She was here," I sobbed.

"Who was?" he asked.

"Mom!"

He held me tighter to his chest and I sobbed onto his shoulder. Camille and Jai sat there with worried looks on their faces and didn't say anything until Ricky and I broke apart.

"What's wrong with your mother coming, hun?" Camille asked.

"My mother used to beat me. Like, really badly. And that's why I'm living here with you guys," I whispered.

Jai pulled me close and laid me back down. He promised Ricky that he'd get me to sleep again and he and Camille left.

"I'm so sorry, baby," he whispered once I settled down.

I couldn't speak. I couldn't think. All I could do was listen to the sound of his beating heart and fall asleep in his arms again.

Unexpected.

Two months later...

I walked into first block and saw Caleb sitting in his usual seat next to me and rolled my eyes. I sat down next to him and pulled out my textbook and homework.

"Hey Dana," he said nicely.

I didn't answer him and just flipped through the pages of my book. He tried to talk to me again during class by passing me a note but I just pulled out my phone and checked my messages. When the bell rang, I grabbed my stuff and hurried out the door before he could try and stop me. At lunch, he even sat at the table near Jai and I. I was really confused about what he was doing and then Jai spat out his water.

"Why do you keep looking at him?" Jai asked me after a couple minutes and looked a little heated.

"I'm just trying to figure out why he keeps sitting so close to me... and trying to get my attention."

"It seems like you're trying to get his attention instead," Jai said jealously.

"Jai, are you serious right now?" I said in disbelief and scoffed.

"Well you're staring at your little sloppy seconds and you're my girl!"

"Jai, I'm not into him if that's what you're thinking."

"I never said that but that makes me wonder!"

I couldn't believe him. "Well fine."

"What does that mean?" he asked as he watched me throw my tray away and grab my bag.

"I don't know. Makes me wonder why you're so worried about me leaving you." I stalked out of the Cafe without another word to him.

I'm Leaving.

"It's stupid," Ricky said as I stood in my closet taking clothes off hangers.

"It's not stupid because you'd do the same thing if you were in my shoes."

"Dana, you're going to leave and hurt all of those you've become close to, including your boyfriend who is worried sick about you. And you're pregnant?" he asked in disbelief. "It's stupid. All he did was ask you why you were looking the damn guy!"

"Well goddamnit, Richard!" I shouted at him and threw the clothes at my suitcase. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"How about go to him and talk about it before you walk out that door!" he yelled right back at me.

I let the tears run down my face as I stared in my brother's eyes, which were filled with rage. I shook my head and then started packing again.

"I won't," I whispered.

"You won't what?" he snapped.

"I won't stay here and pretend like everything's ok when it's not, Rick! I'm not a dumbass."

"Watch your mouth and tone in my house or you'll be right back there with mom!" he shouted but then looked at me and calmed down. "Dana, I'm so sorry... I didn't mean it..."

"Yes you did." I zipped my bag and started down the stairs.

"Dana, stop it ok? Please sis, I'm so sorry." He grabbed my arm gently.

I completely lost it at that moment. "Let me go," I screamed as loud as I could, possibly waking everyone in the neighborhood.

He let go reluctantly and his eyes flooded with tears. But I didn't care. I opened the front door and dragged my bag out behind me.

I Miss...

"One room," I slid my credit card to the man behind the desk.

"For one or more?" he asked dumbly.

"Is there anyone else here with me?" I snapped.

"No, of course not. I'm sorry miss. Chace, come get this nice lady's bags and go with her to her room," he ordered a young blonde boy sitting in the corner.

I got up to the hotel room and kicked my shoes off. My feet were starting to swell and so I sat down on the bed and sighed. I turned my phone on and jumped into the shower quickly. Once I got out, there was a knock at the door. I gripped my towel around me tightly and slid it open slowly. The stranger pushed it open farther and stepped in the room with me, locking it while still turned. I didn't recognize the hoodie he wore or the boots that covered his feet so I grabbed the nearest object: a brush. He turned and removed his hoodie and looked at me with dispair.

"Jai," I exclaimed and jumped into his arms.

He hugged me tightly and rubbed my hair gently, setting me back down on my feet. "Oh, Dana, I'm so stupid. I'm sorry for ever doubting you'd go back to that asshole. Baby, please," he pleaded and kissed my face all over, avoiding my lips.

I sobbed into his arms, despite the anger I felt towards him anymore and melted into his loving embrace. I guess that no matter how much we've gone through or will go through. He's been my best friend since the beginning of time and he'll be mine until the end of it.

"I miss you so much," he whispered. "I miss having you in my arms at night. I miss the warmth of your lips against mine. I miss the way your small, dainty hands fit into my too-big hands. I miss you, Dana. Please forgive me."

"There's nothing to forgive..." I couldn't stay mad at him for something so stupid.

A Baby.

We spent the night in the room and left in the morning, stopping every so often because I had to use the bathroom or puke. Jai kept asking me if I was alright and I kept avoiding the questions and asking him another one. We rode for what seemed like hours before I fell asleep and didn't wake up until it was total darkness and I was laying in his bed. He was sitting at his desk, staring at me and then grinned when he saw me waking up.

"A baby?" he asked, more to himself.

"Who told you?" I shot back.

"No one had to tell me. You're getting fleshed, puking, urinating every 3 seconds. It's obvious."

"How do you know what pregnant women are like?"

"I basically worked in a gynecology office with my mother growing up. I had no choice but to learn something while I was bored."

I looked down at the sheets and then sighed. It hurt me to hurt him so deeply and keep the fact that I'm pregnant with his child from him but what was I supposed to do? Guys these days usually leave girls alone with a kid because we tell them or they don't believe it's theirs. But Jai seemed different. He was grinning like a 7-year-old finding a lollipop in his mother's purse.

"I'm gonna be a dad," he shouted and picked me up abruptly.

"You're happy about this?" I asked in confusion.

"Why wouldn't I be? I'm going to have a kid! A little boy! He can join football with me and we can go camping every summer like me and my dad used to do before he..." Jai stopped and got the sad look he always got when talking about his father.

I rubbed his arm and kissed his forehead before looking in his eyes.

"It wasn't your fault ok? Your dad had the drug problem, not you. And our child will be different. Much different," I assured him and kissed his cheek.

He grinned again and pulled me close. "You know I'll kiss your belly now, right?"

"Don't," I groaned and he laughed while kissing me again.

Changes.

Pregnancy changes things for a girl. The moods, cravings, gas, contractions, delivery, choices. It's a lot to think about before it actually gets here. Baby's are expensive. At least $23 for diapers. Counting the tax, baby food, formulas, and clothes. It's a lot of varieties of everything I just named but I guess that's what Jai and I are getting ourselves into. He pictures this bouncing baby boy running around with a football jersey on and calling out his name every ten minutes. I can picture a beautiful little girl, with pigtails and pink dresses. I think that whatever we're given, we'll love just as much as the opposite.

"It's definitely a boy," Jai said assuringly to my doctor as she lifted my shirt and poured the gel onto the, now, rounding belly of mine.

"Well, dad, we're not so sure of that yet, are we?" she said with a smile and turned on the sonogram machine.

"I'm totally sure that's it's a little boy," Jai said anxiously and smiled.

"He's really excited," I explained and laughed a little.

"Well, shall we begin?" a small image appeared on the small screen and a tiny thing floated around.

"That's him!" Jai shouted and smiled.

"You mean, her," the doctor asked.

"It's a girl?" my eyes immediately filled with tears.

"It is a little girl. Have you thought of a name for her yet?"

"Ava. I mean, it's nothing special but..."

"No," Jai interrupted me. "It doesn't have to be. It's perfect. Little Ava," he said with a smile.

Preparing for Ava.

"I know you're disappointed," Rick said to Jai once we told him.

"Well, hey, that's my baby girl," Jai said and brought me closer to him, rubbing his hand across my stomach slowly.

"What are you naming her?" Camille asked.

"Ava," I told her and smiled down at my stomach.

"It's so beautiful," Ricky said and kissed my forehead.

"If you two need any help, we'd be glad to offer a hand. It's the least we could do for our niece," Camille added.

"Thanks you guys. I appreciate it. I'm just ready for her to be here already and to get this off my mind."

"It'll never be off of your mind." Jai seemed so sure.

"I guess now all we need to do is make sure our daughter comes into a world where she'll at least survive," I told them.

Life.

And that's exactly what I did. I brought her here with all the love and affection I could provide. A solid ten hours of hard working labor and enough screams to last a lifetime. Ava Ramirez came into the world a solid five pounds and screaming for her first touch of life. I don't know what kept Jai from fainting but I guess it's alright now.

Ava's three now and she's amazing. I guess the hardship all paid off. From dealing with Caleb, who is now facing time for not taking responsibility for his actions, and his bitchiness. From dealing with my father passing, my mother's abuse, and the fights I took on with my own brother, something so amazing came from it. I haven't heard from my mother since I moved in with Ricky, but I can still feel her getting near. I'm not sure why though. And Jai and I even had a second kid, another little girl named McKayla. The girls are the most beautiful things I've ever seen. Jai still sits down with me at night in our bed and tell me I'm his one and only, hoping for a little boy but...

I think it can wait.

The End.

~

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.05.2013

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