Chapter 1

BEEP…BEEP…BEEP. As the alarm of 42 year old Lilly Baker went off for the 3rd time after hitting snooze. “SHIT!” Lilly yelled as she looked at the alarm and realized it was 7:30 and she needed to be to work in 30 minutes.
Another Monday morning where she had drank to much the night before . Ever since her husband had left her she had began drinking a lot more, and coming home a lot less. Lilly quickly threw on her navy dress pants and white button up shirt and grabbed her make up bag thinking she would have time to do it in the car considering the traffic is always busy on Monday in Buxtonville, Ohio.
Lilly looked in the mirror and noticed the bags under her eyes had become bigger and her once sparkling blue eyes suddenly looked colder and more dim then they had before. Lilly had also noticed that her two or three grey hairs had become 10 gray hairs. “Make an immediate hair appointment” Lilly said to herself. “There is no way that David will be seeing me like this next week”. As she remembered that it was her final divorce meeting. Lilly tied her hair in a tight pony tail remembering that she had forgot to shower last night and sprayed on a mist of her favorite body fragrance, Sweet Pea. Sweet Pea had always been David’s favorite scent on Lilly as well, the first time they met Lilly was wearing that and she remembered David telling her how nice she had smelled. Ever since then she had been wearing that. “There that should do it” Lilly thought while sniffing her own aroma making sure she didn’t smell like alcohol from the night before.
Rachel was already downstairs sitting at the table eating breakfast. Like her mother Rachel had sparkling blue eyes and long brunette hair. In fact, Rachel was almost a spitting image of her mother except for the fact that she had her fathers smile and height standing at 5‘9 while Lilly was only a measly 5‘3. Rachel had been towering over Lilly ever since she was 14 years old. Rachel‘s good looks and bubbly personality had always made her one of the more popular girls in school but Rachel didn‘t care about popularity, the one thing she truly cared about was leaving Buxtonville and forgetting everything that happened and moving onto better things. Even if it meant leaving her mother.
Rachel blamed everything on Lilly, especially the reason her father left. It was no secret that Lilly loved working more then her family. She would always be at work or working on a new case leaving Rachel and David to fend for themselves. Often times when David was away on business he would extend his trips just so he didn’t have to come home and fight with Lilly. They fought about everything. How she was always at work and how he was away to much, about money, why they never had more kids, and sometimes even about Rachel. It was no secret to Lilly that David had been having an affair the last couple of months of there marriage but Lilly always managed to keep it a secret from Rachel, or so she thought. Rachel knew about what her father had been doing ever since she found Match.com opened on her fathers computer one day. Rachel knew what her father was doing yet she still blamed Lilly for everything.
“Rach why didn’t you wake me up!” Rachel looks at her mother with the same cold eyes that she has for the past year. “You came in at 2 a.m. I figured you’d be to gone to even go to work today” “Rachel you know I..” Rachel cuts her mom off mid sentence “Save it I don’t need anymore of your this is a hard time in my life stories or why can’t you understand what I’m going through spiels”.
Lilly just looks at her daughter with guilt. She knows how Rachel feels about the alcohol especially since her best friend Dana Jetson died in a car accident only 8 months ago due to driving under the influence.
Lilly looks at Rachel “Hey what do you say the two of us have a girls night this Friday. Watch a couple of movies do some mani, pedis order Chinese like we used to when your father was away on business.”
Rachel got sad every time she heard the word father she just stared down into her half eaten piece of toast and was quiet. “Well you get back to me on that I need to go to work have a good day at school, make good decisions” Rachel laughed when her mother left and thought to herself if anyone should be making good decisions it should be you.
On her way to work instead of cranking up the radio as loud as it goes and listening to classic rock Lilly couldn’t help but think about Rachel and how much her life has been changing. She wonders what will happen to there relationship when Rachel goes away to college in the fall. Rachel already got accepted to New York University to study journalism, and as much as Lilly wants her to stay, she knows that Rachel is planning on leaving. Ever since Rachel was 10 years old and went to New York city with her father it’s been her dream to go to school and live there. Lilly knew that it would be a selfish and cruel thing to take that away from Rachel after she’s worked so hard to get there. Lilly thought to herself what am I going to do when Rachel leaves? Who will I have? But suddenly Lilly thought to herself do I even have anyone now? Reality hit Lilly, Rachel barley talks to her anymore and she’s guarded off the rest of her family.
After Lilly’s late brother Thomas was violently murdered it’s been hard for her to connect with her parents. Lilly swore to herself that she would always be there for her children and that she would never lose contact with them like her parents did with her. But Lilly realized she isn’t keeping that promise.
Rachel turns up her stereo as loud as it goes and puts in her new Boys like Girls cd. It’s Rachel’s favorite band and she always feels like she can relate to there music. She gets out of the shower and goes to her night stand and pulls out her pills. She looks at them for a long while. She takes one out of each bottle and quickly takes them. With a small sip of water and big gulp she downs them and sighs. Rachel strolls over to her closet filled with endless amounts of clothes with brands like Abercrombie and Fitch, Hollister, and American Eagle outfitters. She picks out a plain blue shirt that has Hollister written across the chest and a pair of skinny ripped jeans. She ties her wet hair up in a messy bun and goes downstairs and waits for her boyfriend Jason.
HONK…HONK, Rachel hears the car horn of her boyfriend Jason Fargo as he’s pulling into her driveway in his red Honda Civic. They’ve been dating for almost 2 years and Rachel knows how lucky she is to have him. He’s been with her through everything that’s gone on in the past year and he’s the only person that knows about how Rachel goes to counseling and is on anti depressants. Rachel couldn’t tell anyone else about it, no one would understand she figured. The only people her friends knew of that went to counseling were there troubled parents on the verge of divorce or the typical school basket case. But oh no, not someone like Rachel Baker miss pretty, popular jock. The whole school looked up to Rachel and she knew it wouldn’t be that way if everyone found out that there homecoming queen went to see a therapist twice a week.
“Come on Rach” Rachel looks outside to see Jason sticking his head out the car window, getting impatient. Jason had always had the typical look that Rachel went for. Dark hair, green eyes clean shaven with a broad chest and arms. That‘s something Rachel always loved about Jason, when he held her she always felt safe and secure in his arms. It was almost like her tiny frame fit perfectly with his body. They really were the perfect couple and everybody was jealous, including Rachel’s best friend Dana. “Were going to be late for the 3rd time this month”. Rachel quickly grabs her old purple backpack and runs outside.
“Hey babe” Jason says as he leans in to kiss Rachel. “I thought you said were going to be late? I don’t think us kissing is going to help any.” “I just said to hurry up so I would have time to kiss you, you little smart ass.” Jason starts playfully tickling Rachel and she starts to laugh. Jason’s missed Rachel’s laugh. She’s barley cracked a smile in the past year let alone laugh. “Now we really will be late if you keep this up” Rachel scolds Jason “Come on let’s go”.
As there driving to school it’s silence between them almost the whole way, suddenly Rachel speaks. “So my mom brought up us doing one of those stupid girls nights this Friday. Like I would really want to sit there for a whole night with her. What would we even talk about we have nothing in common and I wouldn’t want to take away from her time at the bar with all the other pathetic and lonely lucky bachelors in this town.” “ You know at least she’s trying Rach. You hate when she doesn’t make an effort to be in your life and when she does all you do is criticize her. Are you ever going to forgive her?” Rachel looks over to Jason. “Who’s side are you on anyways?” “It’s not about sides, it’s about what’s right.” “Well what is right then?” “Listen I know you don’t like her but in a few months you’ll be going to New York anyways and you don’t have to deal with it anymore so just make the best of it while you are still here, OK? For me please.” Rachel sighs “It’s not like you would understand anyways, your parents are perfect. They never fight, they’ve been married for 21 years and still look at each other like it’s the day they first met.” Jason laughs and smiles at Rachel “Yeah so, and someday were going to have the same thing.” “ I know” Rachel just smiled back.
Truth is though Rachel didn’t know if that was true or not. The only thing she disliked more then her mother at the time was the fact that in just a few short months Rachel and Jason would be saying goodbye. He was going away to college down in Florida and she was going to New York. Rachel didn’t know what she was going to do. She knew she couldn’t break up with Jason but she also knew there’s no way she could keep a long distance relationship, after all they would be thousands of miles apart. It’s not that she didn’t trust Jason she was just afraid maybe even terrified of life without him. He’s always been there for her and she didn’t know if she was ready for anything different.
As they pull up to school Rachel and Jason hear the warning bell. “Shit” Jason says “Now we really will be late. Coach told me if I’m late one more time I have to sit the bench at our next game.” “Your usually sitting the bench anyways” Rachel joked around, she knows that Jason is the best pitcher that Buxtonville high school has ever seen. Jason can pitch at a speed of 83 mph. “HA, HA very funny” Jason teases. “ The scout from Florida is going to be here so I’m already nervous as hell .If he likes me then that can almost guarantee me a full ride.” “Well you can count on me being there” Rachel kissed Jason “Meet you in the parking lot after school” She shouted from a distance while they walked separate ways to homeroom.
During math class all Rachel could focus on was what Jason had said and the future. She got worried about what was going to happen when it came time closer to college. Rachel was so far off from reality that her math teacher had called her four times before Rachel even noticed.
“Miss Baker…Miss Baker…Miss Baker…Miss Baker!” Rachel was suddenly interrupted by her math teacher Ms. West. “ Please tell the class what x would equal” “Oh right” said Rachel “23”. Even when Rachel was caught daydreaming she still always knew the answer. “Miss Baker you know that even though you…” RING…RING. Saved by the bell Rachel thought. “Rachel I’d like to see you after class please” yells Ms. West over the shifting of papers and clinking of students closing there binders. “Um you know Ms. West I don’t really have time to talk” Rachel knew that whenever teachers wanted to talk it was always about the same thing, Dana. They never wanted to discuss Rachel’s grades. After all she was a straight A student why would they need to discuss her grades. “Rachel it will just take a minute I will write you a pass if you are late to next period.” “Ugh” as Rachel sighs under her breath walking towards Ms. West. “Are you sure that everything is okay Rachel? I know how hard everything has been with what’s been going on and it’s come to my attention that your parents are getting a divorce.” “What do my parents have to do with any of this Ms. West? I know I may seem distracted lately but I’m OK I promise.” “Rachel I’m just doing my job, you are one of my best students and I don’t want to see you suffer because I know what you are capable of” Ms. West suddenly feels like maybe talking to Rachel wasn’t the best idea. “Look Ms. West I appreciate your concern but I’m OK really. I have to go see you tomorrow”
Rachel knew that her teachers had been keeping a close eye on her ever since Dana died. How could they not? Dana and Rachel were almost inseparable. They rode to school together, they were almost in all of the classes, at lunch they sat and gossiped about everything. They especially liked to talk about one of Rachel’s enemies Carrie Hamilton. Rachel and Carrie had been enemies since the 8th grade because Rachel saw Carrie stuffing her bra in gym class . Rachel told Dana about it and Dana told Angela Wilson who told someone else and soon the whole school had found out that Carrie stuffed her bra. Sure Rachel felt bad about it, she wasn’t one of those mean girls that enjoyed making people’s lives hell. She just loved attention but Rachel’s different now that Dana’s gone. She knew that, everyone knew that.
“Good morning Mrs. Baker your messages are on your desk” “Trudy how many times do I have to tell you please call me Lilly. Mrs. Baker makes me feel like my mother.” Lilly had fired 3 assistants in the past year because none of them could handle her schedule but after all being the most well known district attorney in Buxtonville can keep you quite busy. Trudy Emerson was Lilly’s newest assistant young and ambitious, just the way Lilly liked them. She knew that Trudy was different though. She confided in Trudy and Trudy knew about her alcohol problems which no other co workers knew about. Many times when Lilly couldn’t make it home she would call Trudy to come and pick her up. Even if it meant driving an hour away to the next town over. Most of the time Lilly didn’t like being recognized while she was at bars for professional reasons so she would go to the next town over and mingle with people she felt that she had one thing in common with, alcohol. Lilly considered Trudy her friend, a word that she wasn’t used to.
“ I know Lilly sorry” “Trudy can I ask you a question?” Oh boy, Trudy thought to herself. The last time Lilly asked if she could ask her a question Lilly was drunk bawling her eyes out at 3 a.m. asking what is it she did wrong that made her marriage fail. “Shoot” said Trudy. “Do I look okay? I mean for a 42 year old women who’s going through a divorce and has a 17 year old daughter who won’t speak more then 5 words per sentence to me.” Trudy just looks at Lilly confused. “ You know what don’t answer that” Lilly says with hesitation “Well if you would give me a chance to answer I was going to say you look like you need a vacation”. A vacation? Lilly Baker hadn’t heard the word vacation since her and her husband David took Rachel to Disneyland the summer she turned 6. That was over 10 years ago. Looking at Trudy for a long time she replies “ You know Trudy I think your absolutely right. Get me the number of Elizabeth Campbell.” “But you have to…” Lilly quickly interrupts “ That will be all Trudy thank you.”

Chapter 2
Rachel and Jason hung out almost everyday after school if Jason didn’t have baseball. “Comedy or action?” Jason holds up two different movie choices for Rachel to choose from. “Hmm how about homework?” Rachel says smirking. “Some of us aren’t depending on baseball to get them through college. Some of us actually need good grades.” “Please my grades are fine” Jason says back slyly. “Oh yeah, and what’d you get on your last English test was it a 58 or 59 I can’t remember” “Your such a little smart ass” Jason said to Rachel “Come here you” He says in a playful tone pulling Rachel by the arm toward him.
Jason starts kissing Rachel intensely. He starts to slip his hand over Rachel’s chest and kissing her neck roaming his other hand all over her body. “Jason stop” Jason looked at her with the same disappointing eyes he had the last time when she had told him to stop. “ Why do I have to stop?” His voice became more angry than she was used to. “We love each other, and ever since Dana you don’t want to do anything anymore and it’s not fair. I get it your sad but it doesn’t mean you have to love me any less. You used to love when I did this stuff.” Before Jason could say anything else Rachel cut him off. “Sorry I’m just stressed lately with my parents, college, and Dana it’s just a lot right now. And you know that me having sex with you has nothing to do with this so don‘t throw that in my face because that‘s not fair.” “Then talk to me Rach” Jason gets closer to Rachel and puts his arm around her for comfort. “You just don’t understand Jay, no one does.” “No one understands because you don’t let them understand” Rachel just looks at Jason for a long time.” I’m sorry.”
Rachel starts walking to the bathroom when she receives a call on her cell. ‘Mom’ her phone lights up as it’s vibrating. “Hello?” Rachel says in a puzzled yet annoyed tone knowing that the only time her mother really called her was to tell her she would be staying late at the office or she was heading to ’meet up’ with some people after work at the bar. “Rach where are you? Can you please meet me at Oishii at 6 p.m.” “Sure” Rachel replies very unenthusiastically “And don’t be late!” Lilly quickly hangs up the phone.
For the rest of the day Rachel couldn’t stop thinking about why her mother wanted to meet her so urgently. Rachel and Lilly rarely ate together because of the fact that Lilly was rarely home, and now she wanted to meet her at the nicest restaurant in town. This felt suspicious to Rachel.
As soon as Rachel walked into Oishii Japanese steak house, she instantly had the memory of her 16th birthday when Lilly, David ,Jason, and Dana had all gone there to celebrate. It was Rachel’s favorite restaurant in town but she hadn’t been there since Dana died or her parents split up. She looked around the room to see if she could spot Lilly, but she was no where to be found. “Great” Rachel mumbled to herself as she was wondering where Lilly was. While waiting Rachel took a seat by the front entrance that way Lilly would spot her right when she walked in. While waiting Rachel began looking at the picture board that was in the restaurant. There was a collage of pictures they always took for special occasions, mostly birthdays. As Rachel was looking she came across her picture from her 16th birthday. Everyone looked so happy she thought to herself, including me. Rachel began to tear up a little bit when she heard a familiar voice from behind. “ Hey sweetie sorry I’m late the traffic was horrible today” “It’s okay” Rachel said quickly wiping her face and stood up. “What do you say we sit down and eat now I’m starving”.
Rachel and Lilly were almost half way through there Sushi before one word was even spoken. “So how was school today

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 11.02.2011

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