November the 6th 2011

Normal, what an odd statement. Who calls themselves normal? Those who esteem in "Staying in with the crowd" blending in with the wallpaper. They think we can't see their faults but their stripes go the wrong way. I find myself often looking in the mirror and questioning my sanity. I loose myself in my reflection, growing lighter, dimmer, transparent. I wonder how I got this way,and how I got that way. Re-living my faults and wrinkles, Painful cuts and bleeding. But them I remember I am who I am from the past. Pains and pleasures alike, I form. From the ashes and fire, my wings did spread. I leave the mirror and fight my battles once over, only to return again and wonder. But from my plights I will always arise, anew in many ways. And again I will face the horizon and watch the sun come up.

November the 7th 2011

I feel odd today, out of it actually, I went to my classes as usual and soaked up knowledge. When I returned to my abode I found myself wondering what I actually learned today. I wonder if I am coming down with something. It is strange, to say the least, that I am feeling so odd. In fact my whole writing style has changed, at least for now. I have a strange fascination with winter. How does it seem to chill your skin yet warm your soul? I can feel the palpable breath of life just awaiting to be freed, yet I cannot touch it just yet. In winter's I find myself drawn closer to the flame and to my family. I cannot help but wonder how easily I am torn between family and life. Condensation lingers on windowsills and I find myself drawing closer to my family. Cold seeps under the door frame and I find myself watching a late night movie on the weekends with my father. My mother still basks in her own essence. I cannot go to her yet, for fear of her fall. I cannot hold her yet, for fear that she will only undo her imaginary stitches. This is of corse to say I don't want her habits to swallow her whole. Who cannot but want to be with their family? Who cannot but want to live a social life and still accomplish all the tasks needed? I cannot do all at once, I find myself dreading the moments to come in my schooling. I find myself drenched in delirium when the mention of the word "work" skirts ones lips! Ah, but alas again I am rambling so I digress. Winter for me is the time of year to leave behind the extra weight you carried and to relax both at the same time. The warmth of the sun brings me into the world, so I work until the day's ending. Winter, on the other hand calls for my thought to conquer me and my skin to celebrate the break.

To those of you who read what little ramblings I begin; I will continue this insight of myself each day I visit this website. So hold tight and await my next thoughts to bubble in your minds.

November the 9th 2011

Today I saw the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon. That is not to say the woman in magazines are not pretty, they are, but the girl I saw has a surreal look about her. Her hair was neatly parted and had just the right amount of bounce that gave life and shine to her hair. Each strand looked like it was carefully blended and mixed to create and array of light brown to her blond highlights. Her face was a perfect pointed oval, high cheekbones and an angel-kissed face. She had eyes nestled behind her short styled bangs and surrounded in a soft halo of eyelashes. Her body was nicely proportioned, not to skinny, nor too large. No false implications of the body or hidden values. Each of her body parts were given a sort of likeness and depth. Her skin was sightly a very light caramel color flecked with freckles, just as her face was. The woman's shirt was a shirt that had hanging sleeves, they slightly wavered off of her shoulders and punctuated her outfit. She wore skinny dark jeans and a belt that was braided with a leather-like material. She wore short heeled boots that went only just above her ankles. The effect of the whole outfit was astounding, mixed with her good looks it was an amazing sight. Her lips were full and when I had seen her they were half way in an intellectual, yet model type smile. Her nose perfectly straight and small without any imperfections. The one thing above all, was she was a natural beauty. Each feature on her was not touched up or under don in any way. She wore no makeup and had no specific style. She was a neutral beauty. Every move she made suggested; a dancer, each word formed; a scholar and ever pose; a grace. I have no sneaking suspicions that she wore mineral makeup, no doubts that she might also be a dancer. When I saw her, it was like seeing the someone I want to look like, that I want to be. It was as if someone had taken the image, that played in my minds eye, and had a virtual person placed before me. I think, now that I looked at the thing I wanted to become, it is too much to ask for; no matter how perfect one looks there is always something wrong with them. Weather it be their attitude, family, trust, intellect, looks, or other miscellaneous things, we are imperfect beings. No matter how close we get to perfection, we can never quite get to perfection. I think it is time for me to finally understand that and let go of my wish for perfection, and look forward to my future.


As a side note; these are my un-edited experiences and words. Therefore; if you see any errors do not reprimand me on it, I just didn't see it the first time. Each of my insights are however, "spell checked" but you will find ,many grammatical errors. :D thank you

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 06.11.2011

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