Chapter One: Welcome To Jailhouse

 

I woke up to the flickering lights. As I stare up at the bunk above me. 

 

The same old crippling wood bunk, everday.

 

 

Penny rolls off of her bunk and leans her head down, to where I am.

 

''Morning Dice.'' she says.

 

''Good morning.'' I replied.

 

A smile appears on my face for a second, as I prepare to get up.

 

 

It'll be just days, before I get out. But for now, I have to survive.

 

Luckily, I have Penny with me.

 

 

3 bunks, 1 cell out of 15 in this area.

 

 

''Alright ladies, wake up.'' said the officer.

 

The buzzer rings, as the doors begin to unlock. I stand up from my bunk as Penny finally gets down from her's.

 

Penny was short for Penelope, her real name.

 

 

And she was my cell mate. The best I could ask for.

 

 

The same officer that wakes us up everyday, walks over to us with a recruit.

 

Possibly someone new.

 

We would always see new recruits everyday.

 

 

''This is your cell. And these are your new cell mates.'' they say, then push the young girl in.

 

 

The door locks back up with a loud screech afterwards.

 

 

She stands in a orange suit like ours. Her hair is brown and partially curled.

 

She seemed tainted and almost traumatized. She wimpers, then sits down on the bench near the bunks.

 

Me and Penny give each other a look.

 

 

New recruit, means new person.

 

We rarely get cell mates, except for the last one who left dramatically. Our hope is with her, but now we've got a new one.

 

 

''New here, huh?'' Penny asks the young woman.

 

She nods her head hesitating at first, as I straighten up and sit on the only chair provided in the cells.

 

I lay my head back on the wall behind me.

 

 

I did this, almost every single morning.

 

''What's your name?'' Penny asks her.

 

''Ronda.'' she replies.

 

 

I finally look back to the starting conversation between Ronda and Penny.

 

My eyes graze over to Penny's appearance. She had her hair down in 2 separate braids.

 

 

''Listen, I have a list here and I kinda do this with every new recruit. Just tell me about yourself and how you got put in here.'' Penny said.

 

Like a list for revenge.

 

She grabs the paper under her bunk, which she had for a long time before I was put in here.

 

I still don't know how she manages to keep it proper and unwrinkled.

 

 

''Here's the list, it's just a simple question. Don't worry, i'm not gonna do anything bad to you. At least not yet.'' Penny says.

 

That made me scrunch my nose a little, I knew exactly what she meant by that.

 

Penny pats Ronda's leg with a smile, as I continued to watch them.

 

 

Ronda nodded her head, as she sits back more comfortably. I knew that Penny was not gonna do anything bad to anyone.

 

She's nice and won't hurt anyone, unless you piss her off.

 

 

The cracks in my smile finally rise, as I thought back to the time I saw the list.

 

 

I was being introduced to my cell and everything felt different.

 

Penny punched me in the arm and said welcome to the slammer. 

 

My arms hurted for a long time after that.

 

 

My hand rubs the area where she punched me back then, then my smile comes back.

 

 

The list went in this order:

 

Name,

 

What you did - (How you got in the slammer)

 

Previous job

 

How long you're gonna serve

 

Advice - (For soon in coming cell mates)

 

 

''So just read the list right here, and answer them.'' Penny finallly said.

 

''Okay, my name is Ronda Wright.''

 

''Ronda,'' Penny replied

 

 

''Yeah, and I got sent in jail for selling drugs illegally.'' she said.

 

''Oh cool.'' Penny replied.

 

 

Penelope lives for this stuff like this. And stories like Ronda's, it's her obsession. 

 

Ever since Penny got put in here, it's been nothing but small talk about other people who got in htoo.

 

 

''What did you do for a living?'' Penny asks.

 

''Well, I did work as a retail manager. Then I worked as a massuese, since I needed the hours to provide for my growing child.'' she replied.

 

 

 Ronda rubs her baby bump. While Penny nods her head to continue.

 

''So what exactly did you do to get pulled up here?'' Penny asks.

 

 

''Well, I got caught selling drugs on fifth avenue. Big mistake. I was trying to get more money in. since the place I worked at didn't give me much pay.'' Ronda replies.

 

 

''Any advice for any new coming mates?'' Penny says eager.

 

''..Yes, don't sell drugs ever.'' she replied.

 

 

 Penny nods her head, as those last words ring into the cell.

 

''Good advice.. Well since it's almost breakfast time and were still here, allow me to introduce myself.'' Penny said.

 

''Here we go.'' I said silently.

 

 

''My name is Penelope, but you can call me Penny. I used to work as a preschool teacher but later I retired. I followed my passion and became a tattoo artist as you can see-''

 

 

She points to her left arm full of tattoos. And the infamous rose one.

 

And the other arm was of random things, including a big water mark with the word zap on it.

 

She rolls her sleeves down and continues.

 

 

''And I got sent into the slammer for stealing liquor from the liquor store and mugging a homeless man. So that's it....also, my advice is to never go out on the streets drunk. Trust me, you'll thank me later.'' she said.

 

 

Ronda nodded, as I continue to stare up at the ceiling.

 

''Your turn, Dice.'' she says.

 

 

I sit up in my chair and smile, Penny was always great at making me smile even in my darkest moments.

 

''My name is Elle, I used to be a writer and editor of a magazine company. I got sent into jail, for killing my step dad. And my advice is to never think you won't get caught,....cause you will. Eventually.'' I soflty replied.

 

''Wow, that's deep.'' Ronda said.

 

 

The buzzers ring as the doors open. The same officer passes by our cell and opens the door.

 

''Okay cell #5, get in line. Breakfast is being served.'' he said.

 

 

We all get up, including Ronda. We walked with the rest of the girls to the mess hall where we eat.

 

Every morning we did this, and it was toture.

 

 

I thought I was going crazy, but it seemed more and more real with every passing day.

 

That I did this to myself.

 

 

 

''Okay ladies, do the same as usual. Strip and get yourself in line.'' said Officer Posner.

 

Officer Posner guards the door to the mess hall and prevents fights that happen almost everyday.

 

Ever since one recruit thought it was fun to mess with her, it didn't turn out good for the rest of us.

 

 

And that officer was longer nice to anyone. Just down right strict.

 

 

''Since you're in our cell now, we have to come up with a nickname for you.'' Penny says, as the line moves forward.

 

''Do women actually do that, in jail?'' Ronda asked, puzzled.

 

''Sprinkles, i'm a call you sprinkles since you're so sweet.'' Penny says.

 

 

A big grin forms on her Ronda's face.

 

I can tell Penny really liked the nickname she gave Ronda.

 

 

Penelope gave me the name Dice, because she liked how I changed emotions so quickly.

 

Kind of like a dice flipping over on a board game, different sides coming with different answers.

 

 

I mean it's okay.

 

 

''Okay Sprinkles, now that we're approaching the mess hall. Strip." Penny says.

 

''What?'' Ronda asked surprised.

 

''Strip down from you suit, we're approaching the metal detector.'' i replied.

 

 

''The metal detector?'' Ronda whispered, behind me.

 

I ignored her and looked forward as I stripped and so did Penny.

 

 

I turn around to see Ronda had almost taken off her jumpsuit.

 

''Not the whole thing, just to your torso!'' I replied, helping her get the suit up again.

 

 

 

We all come across the metal detector, eventually running into the important officer of all officers.

 

Officer Chase.

 

She could catch anyone doing something and it's an automatic longer serve time.

 

 

We all didn't fear her, but for god's sake we needed to watch out for her.

 

 

She waves the wand over Penny. The ease in her face starts to form as she grew tired of checking Penny.

 

Like always, she seemed to like Penny a lot.

 

For some reason.

 

 

''Stop already, I have nothing okay. I don't have the doe today.'' Penny says.

 

She raises her hands up to show mercy.

 

Penny knew Officer Chase would never leave her over simple words.

 

 

''Some day you're gonna have something, aren't you Penelope?'' Officer Chase says.

 

''Yeah some day.'' Penny replies to her.

 

 

She doesn't pull up the rest of her jumpsuit, I however, did. And so did Ronda.

 

We walk over to the breakfast line.

 

 

Most important thing of the day, even though it's really bad.

 

But it's all i'm going to get for about a week or so, before my time's up.

 

 

I waved to the cell mates sitting down after getting their food. I knew almost everyone here, even new recruits that came in last year.

 

I grab a tray and turn to the line.

 

 

''Good morning Penny, how'd you sleep?'' asked the serving lady.

 

 

The same white dress and red lips she wore, seemed to make my day a little better.

 

I blinked away my tiredness.

 

I had stayed up a little longer than I did last night, I was so tired of thinking about going home.

 

 

It almost gave me late night panic attacks.

 

 

Seeing the lady's happy face, brought ease to me.

 

Compared to Penelope.

 

Penny was cool with everyone, nothing about her can make people hate her.

 

 

''Can't wait to start my shift later on.'' Penny says.

 

She grabs a big spoon full of food.

 

 

I grab a bowl full of whole wheat cereal and carton of white milk.

 

I take an apple on my way out of the line, as I follow behind Penny to our designated table.

 

We only sit there almost everyday, and no one dares to sit next or across from us.

 

 

Penny keeps an eye out for people. Which made it harder for us to make new friends.

 

And it's been like that since we've bunk'd together.

 

 

Ronda takes a seat next to me on the left, while Penelope sat to my right. We see other recruits finally find a table and sit down for breakfast.

 

 

Speaking of breakfast again, it wasn't all that great.

 

I mean, not as good as I thought it would be. But it's kinda healthy.

 

 

I remember gaining so much weight last year. But since we have workout days, which is today, we get to shave off the weight.

 

By christmas of last year, I couldn't even recognize myself with all the extra weight. 

 

 

''Hey..'' Penny says bumping my shoulder.

 

I take a look in the direction she was pointing at, Penny was staring a Skylar.

 

 

Skylar was not someone to be liked.

 

She was....okay with fights.

 

 

My first few weeks weren't that bad here, until Skylar started spreading rumors during work out days about how I got sent to jail.

 

She rumored about how I got in for putting a private invesigator in jail, and she bragged about how I supposedly killed my real dad.

 

But even though part of the rumors were true, none of it was her business.

 

And eventually, I got into a fight with her.

 

 

Then Penelope came along to save me and fight Skylar on my behalf.

 

I still depend on Penny to protect me since that day.

 

I was on the ground with a bloody lip.

 

 

We both got put in a cell together because of the fight with Skylar.

 

It wasn't long before we became friends.

 

 

''Look at her,...i'd like to tear her tonsels out.'' Penny says.

 

 

How was that even possible? I don't know.

 

But in Penny's mind, it seemed to make sense.

 

 

She takes a bite from her badly burnt toast. I slightly lean over my tray of breakfast.

 

It still can't convince myself to think this food is fine.

 

 

Ronda however, didn't touch anything from her tray when I looked over at her.

 

Maybe she wasn't hungry at the moment. But eventually she had to eat, if she wants to provide for her growing baby.

 

 

''I forgot to ask you before Ronda, but, how long are you in for?'' Penny asked, filling the loud tension in the room.

 

''2 months. I was orginally sentenced to 2 years, but it got lifted to 2 months since i'm pregnant. Mainly because I persuaded an officer to take off some time for me.'' Ronda replied.

 

''Wow awesome, I was orginally suppose to be in jail for 10 years. But I got lowered to 8, since I sobered up before I got assigned to a cell.'' Penny replied.

 

 

So far, so good. Ronda and Penelope were getting along.

 

They were making good conversation, and I knew that all 3 of us were gonna be alright.

 

 

''Watch this-'' Penny whispered to me.

 

She throws her carton of milk from her tray to Skylar. It hits Skylar on the head grabbing her attention towards us.

 

Some of it spills to the ground, and other rmates don't take notice.

 

 

It was the normal thing around here for food to spill.

 

 

It was about time we both get revenge for what Skylar did to us before, and luckily me and Penelope agreed on something minor.

 

I bite my lip waiting for the anticipation.

 

 

Skylar whispers something to her crew of in-mates then get's up.

 

Uh-oh, it was like jumanji when Penny to starts a fight any day.

 

And we were prepared. This time.

 

 

Penelope get's up too, walking to the center of the tables in the mess hall. Cowds of girls surround us.

 

Some already began to chant "fight" and others just wait, like it was another regular day.

 

 

''Brace yourself.'' I said to Ronda.

 

I get up and join Penelope's side.

 

Ronda sits back at our table, witnessing her first offcial day here.

 

 

It wasn't offcial for any new recruit to be baptized with the rules of our normal day, until they witness a fight.

 

Luckily, today was Ronda's.

 

 

''Hey.'' Penny says.

 

I stand by her side, as plenty of other women join our side of the mess hall. And Skylar's side too.

 

Penny crosses her arms over her chest, pursing her lips at Skylar. Who stares her down.

 

 

''Hey.'' Skylar replies.

 

''It's been a while since we fought.'' Penny says.

 

''Yeah, too long.'' Skylar replies.

 

''Should we?'' Penny asks.

 

 

A smirk slowly perks up on Penny's face, that meant the go sign for the both of them.

 

''Yeah, we should.'' Skylar says crossing her arms.

 

''Good.'' Penny says.

 

''Good.'' Skylar replies.

 

''Good.'' Penny says.

 

''Good.'' Skylar finally says.

 

 

By then I knew ithat f they start saying good that means things are gonna get messy.

 

 

''After you.'' Penny says to Skylar, then turning to me.

 

I knew she got this, she always wins fights and this was one of her epic wins to come.

 

And everyone was losing it.

 

 

In the near future, recruits are gonna talk about the fights. And Penelope's fights would be the first that every woman would hear.

 

 

''Penny, Penny, Penny!''

 

Skylar braced herself.

 

 

Penny takes the first round and throws a punch. Seconds later, Skylar takes a fist to Penny, but she's stopped by Penny's hand.

 

She kicks Skylar in the stomach as the fight continues. A surge of grunts and more punches were going around.

 

The crowd of in-mates shout louder as they all cheered on for Penny.

 

 

Penny took one more punch and Skylar was out.

 

And just like that, the fight was over.

 

It was the taste of victory, that went around the crowd of women shouting and cheering.

 

 

''Knock out!!'' Penny yells.

 

All the girls surround Penny.

 

They lift her up from under her legs, as she chants on for the crowd, boasting.

 

 

It's all just smiles and peace between the rivalry of Penelope and Skylar,...until.

 

 

Footsteps come into the mess hall.

 

Penny is taken down from being raised in the air.

 

 

Everyone's quiet, with innocent looks. Like nothing happened.

 

Officer Chase knew exactly what was going on.

 

And she loved to handle the after party of Penny's victories.

  

--

  

''Wait to go, Penelope!'' Ronda throws her hands in the air.

 

 

The hot blaring sun of the month of May hits our skin, as we stood in the work out yard.

 

Officer Chase stopped the little victory party from Penelope's fight. And we were pushed out to the yard for the rest of breakfast.

 

I hated being out here.

 

It's one of the worst, embarassing things anyone endure as an in-mate.

 

 

''Thanks a lot Penny.'' I finally said.

 

I turn to her, as she slouched herself on the barbwire surrounding the work out area. She had her arms crossed, and stayed silent.

 

''Penny?'' I said again.

 

 

Penelope's head is lowered down as she continues looking at the ground. 

 

''Penny?!'' I said louder.

 

 

There's no response from her again, and I knew she went back to that soft spot in her mind.

 

''Penny!!'' I yelled.

 

''What?'' she replies, annoyed.

 

 

There was no sign of anger in her voice, just concern.

 

 

''Is this the kind of example you should be showing to Ronda? It's her first day. Even you treated me better than that.'' I said.

 

 

I gesture my hands to Ronda, just a feet away from me.

 

Ronda shuffles the dirt ground with her feet and as she paced back and forth, near us.

 

Penny finally looks up from the ground.

 

 

''I'm sorry I got us kicked out of breakfast, for starting the fight. It's not that everyday I do this, it's just my instincts.'' Penny said towards Ronda

 

 

Ronda walks over to Penny.

 

''It's okay, besides now I know what women really do in jail.'' Ronda replies.

 

 

A smile spreads across Ronda's face and also Penny's.

 

''And Elle, i'm sorry for doing this again. You know how much I hate Skylar and what she did to us.'' she said towards me.

 

 

''I know, just be more considerable next time.'' I  replied.

 

Me and Penny both pull in for a tight embrace, then suddenly the doors across from us, open.

 

 

We look back to see Officer Chase, holding the door open for us.

 

 

''Alright ladies, breakfast is over. Get back to your cells.'' she yelled to us.

 

 

We all walk over to the open door in shame. Hanging our head low.

 

But at least we made up, after the long minutes of silence outside.

 

 

Officer Chase stops Penny, just before we all head inside.

 

 

''Except you, you're taking your shift in the kitchen early today. So you can make up for the fight this morning.'' Officer Chase says.

 

"Aw, man." Penny replies.

 

''And the both of you,'' Officer Chase says to me and Ronda.

 

''Head inside.'' she says.

 

 

Me and Ronda go in, leaving Penelope out in the yard to face Officer Chase.

 

Penny had the job of working with the serving girls to pay off her longer years in labor. And also for breaking into fights since she arrived in jail.

 

 

Penelope sighs from what I can hear before me and Ronda disappear into the abyss of the dark hallways, leading to our cell.

 

 

Officer Chase follows behind us, to lead me and Ronda back to our cell.

 

 

That same, dirty old, creaky cell door is closed once again. And were back to laying in our own misery.

 

I sit quietly on the ground, throwing a ball around. I shift my eyes over to Ronda, who settles into her bunk.

 

 

She takes the top 3rd bunk, while I nestled on the 1st bunk near the ground.

 

I stare up at the ceiling slate above me, the dim light shined on everything in the room.

 

 

I stare at the flickered lights in the hallway. It was a creepy sight to look out into.

 

Just something about it that makes your skin crawl.

 

 

I lowered my head back down, as those depressing thoughts from earlier came back.

 

 

I had almost forgotten, it's been a year.

 

My time is almost over, soon i'll be out.

 

 

But I can't forget about the trouble and things that I went through. To get where I am today.

 

And to think, if it was worth it. Leaving home.

 

 

If it was worth the adventure and finding closure. The escape, and finding my passion.

 

Was it all worth it?

 

 

The cell door opens, as my head shifts to see Penelope. Back so soon from her shift.

 

The same officer who closes our cell door leaves, as Penelope shuffles stuff from her orange suit.

 

 

I get up in surprise, what is she hiding?

 

She takes out chips and granola bars from her stuffed pockets.

 

 

Since Penny works the shift before lunch, well except for today. She tries to take food that wasn't being served often.

 

She'd come up with an excuse to get past the officers, saying that it was feminie products.

 

Which worked most of the time.

 

Penny made good friends with the serving ladies. As she worked her shift for the past 2 years.

 

 

''What jackpot did you hit today?'' I said.

 

I kneel down to where she kneels on the floor.

 

''I got cheese puffs, and crackers. I hit it big this time!" Penny said.

 

 

''You got the chocolate chip?" I say.

 

''Your favorite.'' she replies with a smile.

 

 

She hands it to me, and I begin to smile.

 

 

This is why I love her. She takes good care of us and makes sure we enjoy our time in here, while we serve our years.

 

But soon, it'll be all over. When I wiped back to reality.

 

 

My sad thoughts were back.

 

But I pushed it down, as Penny shows what else she got.

 

 

''What do you guys have here?'' Ronda said coming to our gathering circle on the floor.

 

''I got the good doe today, all on me.'' Penny says to Ronda.

 

 

Ronda takes a cracker pack, as Penny takes the rest of the items and stuffs it under the bunks.

 

''Isn't it just great, you and me...and a new cell mate?'' Penny said.

 

''Yeah, to bad it'll all be over soon.'' I replied.

 

 

There I go, again.

 

I didn't mean for those words to slip out, it was out of thought.

 

I just still had the bad feeling lingering around, after the exchange of snacks.

 

 

''What do you mean?'' Penny says.

 

Penelope had already hid the snacks away and kneeled down to my bunk level.

 

And when I finally worked up the courage to tell, she pats the badly stiched cover of the bed.

 

I climb into my bunk.

 

 

Penny doesn't move or say anything, until i'm laying down, and i'm comfortable.

 

There's silence for a while, and even Ronda's quiet. 

 

She already disappeared back up to her bunk.

 

 

I hear the wrapper of her snack unraveling.

 

 

''I mean, as soon as in a week or so, we'll get out right?'' I finally said.

 

Penny looks to the ground then to me.

 

 

''Well, we'll have plently of time before our release dates come.'' she replies.

 

 

I nod along, but my mind sticks to my thoughts, as I replayed them again.

 

What happened last year.

 

What went down, and the look on everyone's face.

 

 

It still made my heart beat pick up, just at the thought of it.

 

''But what if I have to confront reality and go back. I've spent my time in jail, and now I have to make a big return.'' I said.

 

Penny sighs, then looks back up to me.

 

''I get it, we've all had a life before prison came into the picture. And our release dates are coming up quicker than ever. I know why you feel a little bit scared, about entering the world again-'' she starts.

 

''But that's just it, i'm afriad of entering the world again. I forgot everyone I knew since I got here...what if I can't remember what i'm suppose to do?'' I said.

 

 

''Relax, you'll be okay. Right now, all you have to worry about is serving your time.'' Penelope said softly.

 

 

She was right, I was overthinking it. And maybe going delusional from the thoughts of getting out., were plauging my mind.

 

 

''But what if everyone sees me differently?'' I said sitting up in my bunk.

 

 

''They won't see you the same ever again. But people can see you as a person who took the responsibilty, to take actions and see that they needed to do what was right. On what you did in your past.'' Penny says.

 

Her soft voice convey's a right kind of feeling in my brain.

 

 

Silence fell between us, as we both stared at the gloomy dim cell we lived in.

 

Penny shakes my right arm in reassurance of my existence.

 

She climbs up to lay on her bunk, just above me.

 

 

I hear the squeaks of the wood separating our bed above.

 

I layed back on my crappy jail bed, thinking about something other than outside.

 

 

Hours passed as usual and we sat around, bored.

 

 

Even just serving hours seemed tiring. I've been doing it for 1 year, i'm surprised I find peace in it.

 

 

The thought of doors opening and closing, it was overwhelming. Being locked up every minute of everyday, was lodged in my brain.

 

 

What I did, was partially unforgiveable. But unforgiveable to my friends and parents, we'll see.

 

They will never understand, how horrible it feels jsut being here. Just existing it physically hurts.

 

It hurts too much.

 

 

--

 

 

Jacob's P.O.V

 

1 year before.

 

''Sources say writer and editor of FARELLE magazine here in Manhattan, New York is reported as arrested underneath crimes that they have avoided. With the murder of their step-father, who's name we cannot say under circumstances, the writer is serving 1 year in jail, due to unfinished and lost files over the years that have passed, since the listed murder in the unknown small town in Georgia, also recognized to locals, as Rosewood.''

 

 

I pressed the power button on the remote, hearing those last words pass through my mind.

 

It was all over the news, like it was a disease. No channel was free from the news of Elle's arrest.

 

 

I leaned down onto the table, my ears chirp up to the crowd outside.

 

They were all throwing a riot.

 

All of Elle's fans from her blog came to see her.

 

 

Being here for the event, it breaks me.

 

 

I can't help but think, that in the moment years ago, she told me about her father back in London.

 

Those moments of smiles, kisses and hugs.

 

I was in the arms of someone who did something unforgivable.

 

 

Should I rewind time? Never meet her again.

 

Pass by her on the streets, and think nothing of it?

 

No, I met Elle for a reason. What she did in the past is her own doing. She did what she had to do, and she never told me for her sake.

 

 

But why, after all these years, why never tell me personally? Elle.

 

I didn't think she'd do something like that.

 

She never even told me the rest of the story after that one night we talked back in london.

 

It seemed so long ago, just 18 years olds. Talking about their lives, unaware of their own mistakes.

 

 

Negative thoughts enter my mind as I stand in the conference room.

 

The people downstairs told me to stay up here, while they try to stop the riot.

 

 

It seemed like the news reporters were coming to see me.

 

Since they think I may know part of what Elle did before.

 

 

And now, I don't know what Elle's possibly gonna think. When I bail her out.

 

She commited a murder, a crime. She got away with murder.

 

 

But she somehow found love and happiness in her escape.

 

 

She deserves to get out and still enjoy her life.

 

With me.

 

 

''I have to get Elle out of jail.'' I said aloud.

 

''You can't do that.'' said a famaliar voice.

 

 

I turned my head to face Mark, who had walked in from the door frame.

 

I wondered how he got in?

 

But that's not the point right now, at least i'm not alone anymore.

 

 

''Why?'' I asked.

 

''The police have surrounded the station and no access can be given to Elle, it's hopeless. They practically had to strap down Marybella when she saw Elle leave from the hospital.'' he replied.

 

 

Damn it, Marybella really cares about Elle.

 

''So this was Sara's doing.'' I said, with anger in my voice.

 

"We don't know if this was Sara's doing. The only speculation was that she'd played a part in this somehow." Mark replies.

 

"No, this is definitely her doing. She arrested Elle, which means she had a say in all of this coming full circle." I reply.

 

How stupid of me, to not suspect something about Sara. Now I know why Elle was always out and coming home late.

 

She never told he the reason. And she was always tired.

 

Like she was running from her life.

 

 

''I'm going to get her out.'' I finally said.

 

''There's no use, we'll have to wait for her served time to end and...soon enough we'll have to get back to work and our lives.'' Mark suggested.

 

''Great you do that. While I can see what I can do about Elle.'' I say.

 

 

I grabbed my coat and headed out. I pass by the lobby where the man up front calls me out.

 

But I ignore him and push the entrance doors anyway.

 

I was blinded by the lights and news reporters.

 

 

The crowds of people rioting and podcasts airing all surrounded me.

 

It was way more than I thought it would be.

 

 

''Mr. Callies, can we have a word?'' says a news reporter.

 

My picture was taken, many many times and without hesistation.

 

I just wanted to leave.

 

 

Mark comes into the commotion. As I stand by, slightly stunned by his appearance.

 

''Mr. Cailles, as the boyfriend of Elle Woods. the writer and editor of the magazine company FARELLE. What do you think about her recent arrest made an hour ago?'' asked an tabloid.

 

 

I tried to make my way out of the crowd, and to also avoid the question.

 

But there's no use.

 

An endless escape.

 

 

Mark stays in front of me, trying to hold up the crowd of news reporters. As I shift through the crowd, I look back to see Mark give me a concerned face.

 

I had to go ahead and leave.

 

I give him a nod before heading off for a taxi moving along the street.

 

 

 

Me and Elle gone through enough to not be together.

 

Now's my time to still save her.

 

 

I open the doors to the station, fear in my nerves.

 

I approach the desk filled with officers.

 

 

''Excuse me, can I please get some help?'' I asked.

 

''Yes what can I do for you sir?'' says a officer.

 

''I'm looking for Elle Woods, she was hauled in for murder. I need to get her out.'' I replied.

 

 

The officer looked at his papers, but then he's stopped by a pair of hands slightly carressing his shoulder. He's surprised and gives me a look before leaving.

 

The next officer beside him moves aside too, without a fight.

 

 

''I can take it from here boys.'' said a lovely voice.

 

The officers move to the back as Sara's face comes into the frame, anger fills my eyes.

 

But I try to stay calm.

 

 

If I make a move, i'll end up in jail too.

 

I can't do that. Even if I think it's gonna help me see Elle again.

 

 

''You..where's Elle?'' I say.

 

Sara raises her eyebrows in anticipation, as she leans in to talk to me.

 

 

''She's safely put in a cell with a cell mate, but don't worry. Jail women aren't half as bad as prison women.'' she replied.

 

Anger brewed in my face, as I tried to stay calm.

 

As much as Sara speaking makes me feel bad about Elle, I need to think about how this is gonna effect us.

 

 

''How long is she in for?'' I asked, slightly angry.

 

''1 year, she would have served longer if it wasn't for her remarkable escape in a matter of time. She's quite the handfull of a murderer you got there.'' Sara said.

 

 

I slammed my hands on the table, grabbing the attention from everyone nearby.

 

If I could jump across the desk that's separating us. Maybe I would have done something

 

 

I took a deep breath before speaking again.

 

''Just let me speak to her.'' I said.

 

''Sorry, all restrictions to see Elle is under a waitlist to be put legal again. She signed something back then that states she can't have any vistors. A lot of paperwork.'' Sara says.

 

She walks over to a desk and brings over a bunch of paper, she pats a pile full of reports.

 

 

''Listen, i've seen Elle suffer through enough. I need to get her out now, what other ways can I see her?'' I said, serious now.

 

''Well you can pay the fine.'' Sara said suspiciously.

 

 

Even the least bit concern in her face made me look at her in digust, she was not at all what I thought she was.

 

''How much?'' I finally said.

 

''$100,000.'' Sara said.

 

 

''Okay...I think iIcan pay that much with her money and mine combined.'' I said.

 

''....But since it did take about 2 years to track her down and also with a fine for murder and her disappearance.... we're adding on about 500,000 more dollars. Just for the time it took me to arrest her.'' Sara said.

 

 

''That's about $600,000, she doesn't deserve to be caged up for something she did.'' I replied.

 

"Oh, but she does." Sara said.

 

I clenched my fists as anger. Even the fury in the money I would have to make to get her out made me concerned for her freedom.

 

''Yeah she did kill her step dad. And don't you have a father, right?'' Sara said.

 

 

My eyes lightened in surprise.

 

I was already tired of her responses, even mentioning my father made it worse.

 

 

''Whatever, i'll come back some time later.'' I said.

 

 

I rushed out of the station as fast as I could. I needed to get out of there, otherwise i'd explode.

 

And I still knew I wouldn't come back for a while.

 

But at least i'd give it a try.

 

 

 

I will get Elle out of jail, or see her again some time.

 

Chapter Two: Cherry's Acid

 

Elle's P.O.V 

 

I waved my hands, calling for a taxi.

 

 

It stopped just across the street from the police station.

 

I watched as the driver waited for me to cross.

 

 

I run over, poking the hole in my jacket.

 

It was still, to my surprise, worn out. And it was weird to wear the same clothes from before, when I got put in.

 

 

It was surreal, nothing like how I imagined.

 

 

I reached the cab and opened the door. I sat down and looked back to the station.

 

It was a place, I never wanted to see again.

 

For good.

 

 

''Vera Lace, Suburbs.'' I said to the driver.

 

He steps on the gas, while I settle in the backseat.

 

I had forgotten how hard the seats were in taxi's, and the dark black color palette inside.

 

 

The taxi driver drove up to the suburbs. I looked around, trying to remember a lot of the things I've seen here.

 

But, not a lot came back, to my memory.

 

But I was glad. I still remebered spending most of my time in SoHo and Chelsea, during the past few years.

 

 

New York was still the same. I had forgotten about how much I loved being outdoors.

 

 

The same old trees and buildings towering the people on the street.

 

The expensive rent, the popular hotspots and loud city noise I wanted to desparately hear again.

 

 

It all came back.

 

 

When I reached my house, all I could do was stay very silent.

 

My previous view was somehow altered.

 

This moment was meant to happen, I was suppose to come home.

 

But it just doesn't feel right.

 

 

I payed the driver and watched him leave.

 

It's quiet and distant between the houses and me.

 

 

I looked around at the neighborhood. I was as if time had finally moved again, when I entered back into the reality this world again.

 

 

"I'm back."

 

 

I brushed back my outgrown hair and walked up the driveway.

 

The hard concrete and rocks slide below my feet, as I continued to walk up to the front steps.

 

 

I shudder at the thought of knocking. Like my memories finally came back.

 

 

I slowly pace my way to the door. It's brown and bright like usual.

 

The same door that I remembered walking in and out of, for years.

 

 

And then I thought of Jacob.

 

I didn't think of how i'd present myself back to him again.

 

Even when we weren't talking while I was in that cell, I whispered to myself goodmorning and goodnight.

 

 

Like he was there, hoping he'd hear me in mt dreams.

 

Now those dreams have vanished.

 

 

My hand reaches up to the door, I hesistate before doing it.

 

I needed to face the scary fact and just do it.

 

 

I knocked twice. My hands slide back down to my side.

 

Then, I heard footsteps which made my heart beat quick.

 

 

I sighed heavily for a second as my eyelids flutter at the door being opened.

 

 

I was glad that he answered, it made me feel a lot better.

 

And when I saw him, all he did was stand there and look up and down at me. Like I was a ghost coming back to haunt him for life.

 

 

I hesitated to speak first.

 

This was the first time in a year that I got to speak to him again. 

 

I was completley clueless on what to say.

 

 

Instead of yelling or pulling me inside, like how I anticipated, Jacob hugged me. 

 

He pulled me into a tight embrace. So tight that I couldn't breath.

 

 

Then my mind interuppted. I didn't want this moment to end weirdly, but it did.

 

"Uh Jacob, a little to tight." I finally said.

 

 

He pulls away, as I straighten myself up.

 

He motioned with still hands, towards me and looked at me again.

 

 

It's been so long since we've stood face to face.

 

 

I didn't want it to be awkward between us.

 

I decide to say something.

 

"I'm back."

 

 

Stupid.

 

He's happy for a second, then his expression disappears.

 

''Me too.'' he finally says.

 

-- 

 

The backyard had less flowers from before, when I last saw it.

 

And the cabinets were filled up.

 

I looked all around at the famaliar house that I had lived in for years.

 

 

Then I plop down on the couch after.

 

 

"I can't remember anything, about living here the past year." I said.

 

I breathe in slowly, smelling the air and the scent of the room.

 

 

The scent was like early summer and late spring and brisk of something else I couldn't capture.

 

The hot season was coming to New York soon, and then it'll reach the suburbs.

 

 

I look over to Jacob who watches me getting comfortable.

 

He didn't leave the front door the moment I stepped in, even after he closed it.

 

 

But I can sense why.

 

 

"Where's the gang?" I asked filling the silence.

 

"They're all at Central Park. I can take you there to see them if you want." Jacob said finally.

 

 

I felt like we had lost our connection.

 

The conversation was flat.

 

I mean, I just got out of jail early. Nobody would have proper words to say about that.

 

 

I didn't want us to lose the connection of our relationship. 

 

 

It had been 1 year. So much can change in that alone.

 

But I think it's gone. Our connection.

 

I barely recognize him anymore.

 

 

"How do you feel about me. You know,...getting out of jail. After a whole year." I asked.

 

 

Jacob paused, then paced around the living room. He stops near the couch and scratches his head for a second.

 

 

"I don't know...I mean. You're out and you're here. I missed you a lot." he finally spills.

 

"I missed you too....of course, when I found out I was getting released today, I thought this is early-"

 

 

"Wait, you got out early?" he asked abruptly.

 

 

"Yes," I hesitated to say.

 

 

I didn't think much about it. At least I knew I was getting out early.

 

And now I have see what his reaction is.

 

 

"I mean, yeah of course. Guess I got lucky." I said, twisting my fingers.

 

 

"I can't believe this," Jacob started.

 

I look up at him in surprise.

 

"You were in jail for a year. And you didn't think of me or the others. About how we'd react.'' he says, more serious now.

 

I stutter on my response.

 

''Jacob, mean I did, but you gotta understand...once you're in jail. You can't remember the life you had before.'' I implied.

 

 

Jacob sighs, looking to the side.

 

''I missed you a lot, Elle. In fact the whole time you were gone. Living without you, felt like missing a season throughout the year. I even thought about moving on to better things, at least once. But I couldn't shake the fact of leaving you. Here alone.'' he blurts.

 

 

I tried to look away from him, but my eyes couldn't.

 

 

''I missed you. And now, you come back...and-" Jacob stuttered on his words.

 

''Talk like this, like you never even missed me?'' he finished.

 

 

''Jacob, of course I missed you....I just-'' I started.

 

"What?" he asked.

 

I struggle to finish my words.

 

 

"I missed you so much, everday. I didn't thin that I would see you again."

 

"That's an excuse." Jacob spouted.

 

"It's not," I start.

 

"You didn't think of the consequences. Your family, your mom and dad. Both of us, our relationship. We hadn't seen each other in-"

 

"Ages, I know." I silently reply.

 

 

I didn't know how felt that about it realistically.

 

He may have even thought about cheating. Probably.

 

I don't know what happened after I left for the year, while I was locked up.

 

 

When I didn't answer him, he spoke.

 

''For a long time since you were gone, you were the last thing I thought about before I went to sleep. I was trying to get back into my regular routine. You don't know how much it hurt, to hope and pray that you'd be safe and come home.'' he interuppts.

 

 

Once I didn't say a word, Jacob finally sat down next to me. His hands wrap around mine.

 

''I'd dream about you once in a while, missing you more and more. Because it feels like i've lost you again."

 

 

My eyes harden, as I tried to remember the feel of his hands.

 

I realized what he meant. During the time we fought in Paris and I flew to Mumbai, he felt like he lost me.

 

I didn't realize how awful I made him feel all over again.

 

 

Nobody deserves that.

 

Not even Jacob.

 

 

Finally, I respond.

 

 

''I don't know how i'm going to just live, regularly again. Knowing you had these thoughts about me.''

 

I was about to cry, hearing all those words leave my mouth.

 

 

He had so much to say, and I couldn't give a proper response that could make it better.

 

 

"I'm so sorry that I was gone for so long. I shouldn't have done what I've done. But it was for protection. The person I once knew, was somebody else for the first time in my life. I had to leave."

 

 

Jacob sighed, letting go of my hands.

 

"You did a bad thing," he says.

 

"I know." My voice begins to crack.

 

"But honestly, I made a stupid mistake in my past hurting him. And despite that, he was a great father to begin with.'' i said again.

 

''I know.'' he replies softly.

 

 

I felt a little better hearing him respond.

 

''I was so dumb to run away and have a curious thought I wouldn't get caught. I didn't think that I could go to jail for that,...he was so close to me." I said, almost audible

 

 

"I'm sorry," I said.

 

 

My voice faltered in the end and I felt my eye well up with tears.

 

Just then, Jacob pulled me in for a hug before I could speak.

 

He knew that i'd eventually cry over my own words.

 

 

I wiped my tears from my eyes.

 

I felt sorry enough for myself.

 

I didn't want to make Jacob feel this way anymore.

 

 

But I held on tight for him.

 

"Look, life has it's fault. Even for you. You were locked up...but it's okay now. You're home with me and your friends." Jacob said looking down at me.

 

"Thank you." I said.

 

 

What his words did to me, made me realize how much I didn't want to see him this way.

 

Ever again.

 

And if I could convince him, that i've changed right now. It would be that.

 

I'm trying again.

 

 

And this time, I won't let things get to me.

 

I meant it.

 

 

I don't want to go back to jail anymore. It was torture for me.

 

I couldn't dream of going back.

 

 

But i'm home now.

 

 

Jacob pulls back a piece of my overflowing hair, bringing my attention back to him.

 

 

"Why don't we go to Central Park. So we can catch up with the gang, how'd you like that?" Jacob said, smiling again.

 

"Yes, i'd like to see that." I said.

  

 

 

We drove out to the park. The air was breezy and the sky of trees followed above us as we walked.

 

''I'm so glad you're back. It's such a relief for you to be home, especially for the others.'' Jacob says.

 

I smiled for a second.

 

"I'm happy to be home too. To spend time with you." I say.

 

 

We vicariously walk side by side through the park.

 

 

We spot everyone, over near a tree.

 

It was where Marybella lit up a cigarette. For the last time.

 

I smile at the memory.

 

 

I still can't believe that I remembered that.

 

 

But I don't think that memory would come back to me at a happier time.

 

 

"Hey!" Jacob said to everyone.

 

Everyone waved and greeted him.

 

He's quick to meet them, and i'm left making the slow walk to where they are.

 

 

Jacob was friendly with everyone. It looks like he spent time with them individually.

 

I guess Jacob had time over the past year to become close with everyone.

 

Given that he was absent in the year before that.

 

 

I could see it in his face.

 

He grew close with the gang, and I somehow lost that connection.

 

I felt saddened again. How would everyone react?

 

 

I peered from the end to see everyone. They all looked so happy in the moment.

 

I saw Marybella, and I silently gasped.

 

She looked lively.

 

 

I guess the surgery from last year did some good for her lungs.

 

Rikki looked normal again, but I don't see Jason around. 

 

I guess this means they really broke up.

 

 

But it was a relief. She no longer needed him.

 

I can tell.

 

 

"Everyone, Elle's back." Jacob said, motioning his hands to me.

 

 

The gang looks surprised and stunned. 

 

I looked at everyone with big eyes, as if I hadn't seen them in my life before.

 

It was very silent for a while, until movment struck among them.

 

 

Marybella was the first to approach me.

 

She was slow and unsure at first, then picked up the pace.

 

 

I felt happy that she approached me first.

 

I stood still, watching her gaze at me, up and down.

 

She hesitated at first, then hugged me tight.

 

 

"Elle." she said softly in my ear.

 

I hugged her back quickly. Just the mention of my name coming from her words made me speechless.

 

I nearly cried but I held myself back.

 

 

I didn't want to make it emotional.

 

"Elle." she said softly then happily.

 

"Marybella." I said back.

 

 

I removed my face from her shoulder.

 

 

"Rikki, come over here." Marybella said, turning to the rest of them.

 

Everyone else stays still. It's just Jacob and Mark left, as Rikki finally comes to us.

 

 

There's a gleam on her face as she comes closer to me.

 

Rikki had cut her hair, she looked much more better than before.

 

 

I just hope that she can forgive me for the fight we had, before I left.

 

God knows we need to get over that situation.

 

 

She squeezed me into an embrace and then looked into my eyes.

 

"I'm so glad you're out mate, I hope you'll be fine now. I missed you." she said.

 

 

I smiled widely, feeling my tears form.

 

That was all I wanted to hear. To hear her talk to me.

 

She looks down on me, burying my face into her shoulder.

 

 

"Don't cry, you'll make me cry. I missed you." she said.

 

I silently sob into her, making my tears fall faster.

 

 

Her curly hair brushed my forehead.

 

I quickly realize i've been hugging her for too long. I lean up, wiping my tears.

 

 

I look at her, as her smiles begins to thin away.

 

 

''Come on, let's talk.'' she says.

 

Her right arm drapes over to my shoulder, and Marybella follows along too.

 

 

 

"So, after I was hauled away-" I start.

 

Marybella and Rikki look at me, then exchange looks

 

 

By the looks on their face, I knew they wanted to avoid that question.

 

But I needed answers and to make sure I knew how they felt, how everyone felt.

 

 

Marybella insists on Rikki to go first, but Rikki beckons her.

 

Bella rolls her eyes and turns to me.

 

 

"Well, at first it was kinda sad to see you go. But then it got worse. Every single day, knowing you're not here anymore." she starts.

 

 --

 

Marybella's P.O.V

 

 

When she broke the news to me just a year ago, I busted into tears.

 

I couldn't believe she had killed her step-father. It wasn't like Elle to do that or at least I thought.

 

 

I knew Sara had been behind her arrest the whole time. I just hope she never comes back here.

 

She's done enough to put my best friend in jail.

 

 

I rub Elle's hand for a second as she looks down to the ground.

 

Telling her how I felt was weird, she doesn't deserve the hear the struggle we've all been through.

 

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

''I got signed out of the hospital and went back home. I got better and now i'm just happy you're back.'' Bellafinally said.

 

''Thanks.'' I replied.

 

 

I pick at my nails Marybella looked over to Rikki, she shrugs her shoulders.

 

We didn't know what to do, I was happy to be back. And were happy.

 

 

But it feels different.

 

The whole year has been absent-minded without me, even christmas. I never got to put up the decorations with her.

 

I felt lonely, even if Jacob tried to comfort me.

 

 

"So the year was pretty rough huh?" I say, filling the silence,

 

 

"It did had times when I felt sad for not having you here. We all missed you so much, and I even promised to you that I wouldn't let Jacob cheat on you." Marybella said.

 

 

I laughed in response.

 

Rikki interupped.

 

"I remember this one time I was almost hauled into jail, I was selling candy on the streets in Queens, where I grew up. The police caught me and thought that I was stealing candy from the store.''

 

 

A small laugher escaped my mouth, that's what made me laugh.

 

My friends.

 

It was nice to have Rikki back in my life and to hear her words again.

 

 

I knew, from the moment that I met Rikki, her words would always put a smile on my face.

 

 

''I miss hearing you laugh.'' Rikki says.

 

She gestures her hands on my arms.

 

 

Marybella pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear.

 

Rikki cleared her throat.

 

"I remember this one time. I was at a band concert and people were all getting chased, because we found out it was illegal to play there. And I was high at the time, so I thought the police were partying. And I jumped on one officer's back and I acted like a horse rider. " she said.

 

 

We all laughed louder this time. The stories maybe dumb, but they're funny.

 

"So besides your stories. Tell me about,....um...FARELLE. I totally forgot." I said breaking the laughs.

 

"FARELLE is okay, but there is something you need to know." Rikki said.

 

 

"What?" I asked.

 

"Ruby got in." Marybella and Rikki said.

 

"What, she got in?" I said eagerly

 

 

"Yep." they both said.

 

"I can't believe it." I said almost dazed.

 

 

I'm happy she's in. I prayed that she'll get in FARELLE and now she has.

 

Even from those moments we talked back then.

 

 

"Oh my god, I can't believe it. I can't wait to see her when I get back." I said.

 

I turned to the both of them, there were no smiles on their faces.

 

It was dead silent, like I said a forbidden curse.

 

 

''Oh...Elle. You went to jail, and they hired somebody else. You might have to fight for you job back." Rikki said.

 

"I should have told you earlier.'' Bella said suddenly.

 

 

Rikki and Marybella gave each other a look.

 

A saddened look.

 

 

"What?" I said, turning my head back and forth to them.

 

"Ever since you got sent to jail," Rikki started.

 

"You've been off the employment list. You have to apply to get back in." Marybella finished.

 

"What? But i've worked there for years, they can't do that to me." I said looking at Rikki and Marybella.

 

 

"Sorry." Rikki said shrugging her shoulder.

 

''Really...truly.'' Bella said.

 

 

Marybella holds my left hand and nods her head.

 

I couldn't believe the one job that I loved so much, was taken away.

 

Something I loved dearly was no longer labeled as mine.

 

 

"No. We're gonna do this now." I said getting up.

 

I marched towards the FARELLE building.

 

"Elle!" Marybella got up in surprise.

 

 

Rikki and Bella jog behind me, as I power walk to the bulding.

 

 

''Shouldn't you rest. I mean you just got back right now. Don't you-'' Bella suggested.

 

''No. I'm getting my job back.'' I said abruptly to her.

 

 

They're both shocked at my demeanor.

 

 

''I will not sleep until I reclaim my spot at FARELLE. I worked hard to be inthat position and I will not let myself believe that I don't work here anymore.'' I replied sternly.

 

They both silently agree. Marybella clapped in respone, unannounced.

 

 

They pace behind me as we near the doors of FARELLE.

 

 

I had missed going to work here everyday. But I didn't realize the building had grown so big over the year.

 

They must of renovated.

 

 

''Everything is so different.'' I whispered, nearing the elevator.

 

 

There were more bright lights and less white aesthetic colors nearing the glass doors.

 

I no longer remembered anything that was famaliar here.

 

 

And sometimes I would wonder, if I made a mistake. 

 

What if I was suppose to let FARELLE go?

 

 

"Elle you can't just walk in like this, you need to make an appointment. Even if you don't work here anymore." Marybella said following behind me.

 

 

But I can't let go of FARELLE.

 

Not yet.

 

 

"I dont care, I still work here and my appearance is gonna make a change." I said before busting into the glass doors.

 

I come face to face with everyone.

 

 

All the new people and interns looked at me startled

 

Nothing felt right.

 

 

What if this was a test?

 

And I failed.

 

 

I turn to my left and saw someone sitting at my reception desk. There's shock in my face for a second, as my mouth drops open.

 

 

The woman was much more classy looking than me. But she looked young enough to be my age.

 

This was not right at all.

 

 

Being in FARELLE again becomes addicting, when you've enjoyed it more than you've been heavily involved with someone.

 

It's hard to sit back and risk that peace with FARELLE.

 

 

I looked all around to see if I could find Lauren. Then, finally I spot her.

 

She walks towards me, nearing my way.

 

 

"Lauren." I say.

 

She's surprised to see me, as if nothing happened.

 

 

"Hello Elle, it is so nice to see you again. It's been so long." she said, then embraced me into a hug.

 

 

I pushed her back gently, to not fall into her happy trap.

 

Her face looked upset before I could say something.

 

 

I took a step back to regain my confidence.

 

 

"Lauren, why do you have someone sitting at my desk and what happened....to everything?" I said, waving my hands around at the new layout.

 

 

"Uh, Elle?" Lauren asked.

 

"What?" I said back to her.

 

 

"You don't exactly work here anymore, you got fired." she said.

 

"Only because I didn't return," I replied, cocky.

 

"You're reckless." Lauren said.

 

She didn't hesitate.

 

 

I was not sure if I heard her right.

 

Inside, I was devastated.

 

And on the outside, I knew clearly what she said.

 

 

Never in my life had I ever got fired.

 

I usually quit or something, but not randomly fired after one year in jail.

 

 

"I can't be fired, I still work here. I just went to jail for a year and i'm already fired?" I shot back.

 

"Well, technically you were fired 10 months ago, we started your 2 week period for your extraction from the employment list. And it was either having an intern take your place while you're gone or get fired.'' she says.

 

 

''You couldn't have got Ruby?'' I replied.

 

"How do you know about Ruby?" Lauren questioned.

 

I gesture to Marybella.

 

 

Marybella hides her face behind a curved palm, in emabarassment.

 

 

''And you never came in after the 10 months, so say hi to Roxie." Lauren said.

 

Lauren caught my attention when I turned back to her.

 

 

Her right hand slowly waves to the young lady at my reception desk.

 

I slowly turn my head to give 'Roxie' a death stare.

 

 

And she had no problem returning the favor back to me.

 

Fiesty.

 

 

"I was in jail!" I turned back to Lauren

 

"Yes I know, and everyone knows. But i'm sorry for that sudden announcement. But the board made me do it." Lauren said apologetically.

 

 

I took a deep breath, as she continued to talk me into a situation.

 

 

There was nothing as negative as this.

 

It was going to ruin my reputation.

 

This is my chance to get back into work, and i'm not going to blow it over a simple frustration.

 

 

"Fine, when I can start working again?" I said to Lauren.

 

She paused, giving an expression.

 

"Well, you'll have to apply to get back into the writers department. And you'll have to work as someone's assitant till we can give you back your orginal spot here. You have to work your way up." she replied.

 

 

"Assiant, Assitant Manager. Writer. Writer and Editor." I counted in my head.

 

"That's four positions till i'm back in my original spot." I said to Lauren.

 

"Sorry, I don't make the rules. But what are the consequences, if you're gonna apply and it doesn't work out? New positions." Lauren said.

 

I rested both my hands on my waist, pulling my jacket back.

 

 

"You'll work as Roxie's assitant, at Sara's old desk. And you'll have to help with the regular interns this year, before the new ones come in.'' she starts.

 

 

I glare at her, trying to hide the anger I felt.

 

But it somehow escaped.

 

Lauren tries to add something on to ease up the tension between us.

 

 

''But on the plus side, our new summer magazine is coming out." Lauren said smiling at the end.

 

"That's great. I'll go apply online." I said walking away.

 

 

So I pushed through it, and I left the tension behind to focus on my new job.

 

I needed to start working again, and I can't let everything get to me.

 

Chapter Three: Girl with The Great Personality

 

I applied again and started immediately.

 

 

I walk out of the room where I got my supplies for the position, to enter the glass doors.

 

Lauren was there, smiling, as I came in.

 

 

''Welcome to FARELLE, the most elite-''

 

''Cut the intro, just let me go to my desk.'' I replied.

 

 

She stops, putting her hands on her chest.

 

She looked upset.

 

And I didn't mind. I had seen enough.

 

 

But I could tell the negative vibes were radiating off my voice. And I hated to see Lauren, even slightly, today. 

 

''Good luck.'' she said to me, before disappearing.

 

 

I didn't like the idea of working at Sara's old desk.

 

It triggered me.

 

Working next to someone who was planning your downfall.

 

 

It really bites me in the ass.

 

And summer's coming up? That's even more work to think about now.

 

 

I sighed, as I tried to calm down.

 

''Come on Elle, get it together.'' Roxie said silently.

 

 

I slightly turn my head to her. 

 

Try not to be angry. At least you have your old job back.

 

 

I turn to my desk, Sara's old desk.

 

"Now, only 4 more years to go. Until i'm back in my position."

 

 

What a way to get demoted. But at least I can work my way up.

 

 

My thoughts are interuppted as Roxie makes an entrance from her desk.

 

"Alright, since you're a new assistant. You should do as I say and nothing can go wrong. I'm Roxie and i'm your boss." she says.

 

She extends her hand for me to shake.

 

 

I glare at her for a second. I hated her already.

 

Her matte red lips and happy smile made my blood boil.

 

 

This was not happening, she was not going to take my spot.

 

 

I pace to her slowly, as I finally answered.

 

My hand shakes as it meets hers, I struggle to keep my calm once we clasp hands.

 

"Hello Roxie, I hope that you know that I was the best writer and editor of FARELLE magazine. So don't think you're gonna fill my spot so soon." I said, confident

 

''Was. That seems about right.'' she replied, before stepping aside to leave.

 

 

I needed to get back to who I was a year ago.

 

But that's impossible.

 

I still don't get it. I thought the world might have changed., but only a little bit.

 

 

But it did. A lot.

 

And i'm sad about it.

 

--

 

I was feeling nervous about working again.

 

Stares from past employees. Everyone giving me the eye, saying "you went to jail"

 

 

I can hear the chant of their spirits taunting me.

 

Every intern gave me looks, as if I did something wrong.

 

 

And that gave me stress.

 

I might need to see someone about this.

  

 

I hear footsteps near me, as I watched everyone work like usual.

 

Marybella came up next to me.

 

 

I turn from my desk and look ahead. A couple interns give me death stares, as they pass by.

 

Bella comes into my view before I can even say anything.

 

 

"Don't worry, it's fine. They don't know about you coming back to work." Marybella whispered.

 

 

Just then I saw Ruby, and my eyes lit up.

 

I remembered, she was working here now.

 

 

That lifted my mood.

 

I'm so glad she's here.

 

She can make my day better.

 

 

"Hey Ruby." I said, almost loud enough to be heard.

 

 

She turned and gave a slight smile.

 

She said something to a group of interns passing, then walked over to me.

 

 

I looked like a huge weirdo, just smiling as she approached me.

 

I just couldn't help the joy of her seeing me again.

 

I can finally be the role model she always knew I was.

 

 

"Hey, Elle, nice seeing you back here. Even after a year." she said nervously.

 

"Yep, you know. Life happens. Is there something wrong?" I asked, looking at her expression.

 

 

She looked out of it, as if talking to me was another task.

 

And she didn't seem interested to continue the starting conversation.

 

 

Ruby must have felt out of place when she noticed me.

 

As if she was an old friend, who didn't want to see me.

 

 

"Oh, i've gotta go. I'll see you around,"

 

"What? you can tell me what's wrong." I said to her.

 

"It's nothing,...it's just that you weren't here to give me advice, when I needed it the most like you said." she protested

 

"I'm sorry, I was occupied. By serving-"

 

"Jail time. Everyone knows." she said sternly.

 

 

She was angry, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

 

"How does it make you feel towards me, now that I work here again? I can still give you advice. There's nothing sad about that fact anymore." I said trying to cheer her up.

 

 

Her mood made me realize how much I had missed out on, teaching her my ways since I met her last year.

 

I barely saw the same girl from before. She was different too.

 

 

"Well it's too late, I don't know you anymore, Elle. You tell me where you've been for the past year." Ruby blurted.

 

I hesitate.

 

"I'm back home now, I-"

 

 

Ruby interuppted.

 

 "You were gone. Thank so much for promising me last year that you were gonna be my boss. Then, you get sent to jail. Thank you." Ruby said.

 

 

A crowd of interns passing by, gave me looks as they all turned away.

 

 

Ruby was so different from what I thought, even her looks.

 

Last year, you could've mistake her for a freshman in college.

 

But now she looks full grown.

 

 

Even her hair looked different, a deep dark coffee brown. Her style wasn't simple anymore.

 

It was more fashionable then she was used too.

 

 

And then it all hit me again, I had forgotten how many people I let down.

 

It was not just my friends and Jacob.

 

 

It was other people I knew too.

 

 

I'm interuppted from my thoughts as I look up to see Ruby grow tired of my response.

 

I was tired of being quiet and not saying something back quickly.

 

She exits with a group of interns, and i'm was left to just stare and wonder.

 

 

"It's okay, she didn't mean it." Marybella said comforting me.

 

She slides her arms over my black knit sweater, making me feel warm again.

 

 

I sighed as we slowly walked over to the glass doors.

 

 

I had enough of my first stressful day back into the life I had missed so much.

 

And I thought it could be worse.

 

 

But it's already more bad than I thought.

 

 

 

After lunch, we all went back to our positions and it was quieter than usual in FARELLE.

 

Nobody talked or moved.

 

It turned out Jeff from last year moved on to work at KARL magazine.

 

 

And Marcus was moved up to secretary to the board of the design department.

 

I was kind of jealous. While i'm here starting over as an assitant, everyone has moved on.

 

 

I'm such a failure.

 

 

I sorted files and certain things I never knew Sara had experienced when she was my assitant.

 

I never knew how tiring and boring her job was.

 

 

"Elle?" Marybella said interuppting the silence.

 

"What?" I said excited.

 

"Do you mind coming over later today, I have something i want to talk about with you." she says.

 

 

"Sure, iIhope Jacob's gonna be fine with me leaving the house." I said.

 

 

I shoved a piece of paper back into a folder.

 

Marybella smiled, then left.

 

 

In the near distance, I spotted Rikki picking flowers from a vase on Roxie's desk.

 

 

She was not here, so the coast was clear to mess around with her stuff.

 

But i'm stopped by Rikki's eyes on me from the desk.

 

''Jacob will mind? You've been gone for a year, i'm sure he won't mind.'' Rikki implied.

 

 

"Are you coming too?" I said to her.

 

"Yeah," she says.

 

She walks over to my desk in no hesitation.

 

 

Then walks past on her way elsewhere. She leaves the vase of red tipped flowers to their dismay.

 

I watch her leave before I turn back to the flowers.

 

 

Marybella comes back in a hurry to speak to me.

 

''We can talk while we redecorate my mug cabnient?'' she continues.

 

I jump up in suprise.

 

 

Man I am really off the edge.

 

 

''Sounds good to me.'' I replied.

 

 

Bella walks back with her agents to her office, while I return to more boring work.

 

It was awful enough, I needed a break.

 

 

 

The rest of the day was bad. People treated me like I was nothing, but a thrown in jail writer to be forgotten again.

 

But I held on strong, for Jacob and me.

 

I can't let people's words get to me.

 

 

The drive back home was hypontic, the hum of the engine and the wheels rolling on the road made me feel numb throughout the drive.

 

And while I watched the street lights turn on, there was something missing about me.

 

 

My passion was gone, I had a feeling it would sometime or later.

 

But not now.

  

 

 

I knock Marybella's door and hear soft footsteps near.

 

 

''Elle, come in.'' Marybella said, warmly.

 

New things were put in her house when I entered in.

 

 

I guess Bella kept herself busy while I was gone.

 

 

I shift and take off my jacket off as I enter into the new designed living room.

 

I barely recognized it, since Christmas...

 

 

Bella appears again from the other side of the living room.

 

''Mark is on a business trip today, so feel free to look around if you want.'' Marybella said.

 

 

"Cool, I'll snoop in your room to find candy." I said jokingly.

 

"First drawer on the right nightstand. It's mine." Bella responds.

 

"It's not fun when you spoil it." I said tiredly.

 

 

She chuckles as I tread to the living room.

 

I walk to the kitchen as my eyes settle on the new display of everything.

 

 

''Wow, a lot has changed since I was last here.'' I said leaning on the kitchen counter.

 

''Yep, since we had time after surgery and therapy...we decorated.'' she replied happily.

 

 

"We?" I said.

 

"Me and Mark of course."

 

 

I smiled for a second as my eyes roam the new look inside the house.

 

I felt jealous.

 

I kinda thought this was our thing.

 

 

''Oh I forgot, do you still have your engagment ring?'' I asked suddenly.

 

''Yes.'' Bella said, stretching her hand.

 

 

She shows me the ring.

 

''Oh my god, it's so beautiful. Just like when I last saw it. In the hospital.'' I trailed off.

 

 

I was so happy to still see Marybella and Mark make that big move in their lives.

 

And even after a full year of me not being around, they managed to stay together.

 

Possibly for my sake.

 

 

I felt my eyes burn and tears started to form. 

 

I told myself that I wasn't gona cry anymore, but I couldn't in that moment.

 

 

''It's okay Elle, you're home now. No more, stupid jail to go to.'' Marybella said pulling me into an embrace.

 

''I know, I just can't imagine how much my life has changed since I saw you guys.'' I said hugging her back.

 

''It's only been 1 year, nothing changed. Only the fact of not having you here was the biggest change in all of our lives.'' Marybella said, she rubbed my back.

 

 

''So how about those mugs?'' I said.

 

Changing the topic was good.

 

I wiped my tears as I forced a smile.

 

 

''Right this way.'' Marybella said.

 

''So i was thinking all the colorful mugs on one shelf and all the regular ones on the bottom. Then the small cups go into the other cabnient.'' Bella points out.

 

''Sure thing.'' I replied

 

 

I reached over to the mugs Marybella pointed at.

 

She hurries into the dining room to grab a box full of other cups.

 

 

As I stood in silence, I pushed brightly colored designed mugs into the cabnient.

 

 

''Elle, can I say something.'' Marybella said breaking the silence.

 

She enters back into the kitchen and sets the box of cups down.

 

After that she leans up and looks to me.

 

 

''What?'' I asked shifting to her.

 

There was silence before she says anything . I watch the light leave her eyes for a second.

 

It's eery and quiet as I straighten up and prepared for her answer.

 

 

''Have you ever thought about having babies?'' she asked softly.

 

 

I take a deep breath in relief.

 

I nearly laugh at her answer. I then begin to smile, as if I was embarassed.

 

 

My eyes wonder around her figure for a few seconds, then my eyes finally meets Bella's.

 

''Sure, I want kids. Do you?'' I replied.

 

''Yes, but I always dreamed of raising them in Russia. 3 little boys and 1 girl. I thought my whole life, I would be in Russia. But then New York gave me a chance and now i'm here.'' Marybella said.

 

"Bella, you shouldn't feel bad about New York. You got an offer and took it, now you're living the best life. You met me, Rikki and even Mark. Just because things didn't go to plan, doesn't mean it all falls to shit." I say.

 

I rearrange the mugs again.

 

''So tell me what this is about?'' I asked turning to her.

 

 

Marybella fiddled with her fingers before answering.

 

''I should have told you, that I didn't invite you over here to help me with setting up things.'' she said.

 

 

I turned to her with concerned as my face leave the current mug I held.

 

''Why did you invite me over here?'' I asked.

 

 

Her eyes wonder the ground before finally looking up at me.

 

''I can't have kids.'' she finally says

 

 

My eyes open up a little, I didn't know what to say next.

 

My mouth was left agape.

 

Did she ask me if I wanted kids, only to react to her answer?

 

 

''Why? Is it....Mark?'' I asked anxious.

 

''No, it's not Mark. It's me.'' Marybella replied.

 

 

I stared at her for a while.

 

''Wha-, you can't have kids? Or you don't wanna have kids?'' I asked feeling confused.

 

 

She sighed moving behind the counter where she stood.

 

I followed her movments, standing behside her.

 

 

"After the surgery, the cancer effected everything else in my body before that. After a few tests, I found out that things inside me....resisted to certain change. Like the need to be able to get pregnant. I wanted to tell someone, but I figured it'd better be you." Marybella said.

 

She faces the window, as I saw her reflection.

 

Marybella was not smiling.

 

 

I stare motionless beside her, waiting patiently for her to say something back. As if it was all a joke.

 

She wasn't kidding.

 

 

There must be something I can do for her since, I left her in the hospital when I was pulled away in jail.

 

All this talk made me emotional again.

 

 

''Marybella I can carry your child?'' I said abruptly.

 

Marybella turned to me. '

 

'Elle-''

 

''No, if this is what you want. I'm willing to give birth to your child, anything for you.'' I interuppted her.

 

 

''Elle, after the surgery it was clearly stated I can't have babies. Or the risk of it can danger me. Cancer did this to me.'' she replied.

 

''Do you still have lung cancer, is this why you can't have babies?'' I asked, mad.

 

 

''No and...but i'm still surprised I get to keep my head full of hair. But I don't want Mark to be involved with this, I don't want to put my body samples or his into you, so I can have kids.'' she said.

 

''So, you want me to do nothing?'' I replied back.

 

''Nothing, I want you to be a friend. I'm adopting, soon i'll have a little one running around. One that I can dress up in cute clothes and obsess over.'' she says with a smile.

 

Marybella seemed happy in the minutes and grinned.

 

 

''Are you sure? Is this is what Mark wants?'' I say.

 

''Yes, we talked about this a million times and...we're ready.'' Marybella smiles widely again.

 

I smiled back, finally.

 

 

"Great, when do we meet them? The little one" I said.

 

"This weekend, the agency said we are all set with the papers. So I get to see and take home my first ever child soon." Marybella said.

 

''That's amazing, how lucky of you.'' I replied.

 

 

She looks away, her smile finally lifted up to her eyes.

 

I could tell by the rise of her rosy cheeks she was happy about this.

 

And this news was just perfect to get me out of my bad state.

 

 

"But you need to be rest, it's been day-" she says.

 

"And a half." I finish.

 

"A day and a half, and you still look tired from coming back. So I need you to go home and rest." Bella says.

 

 

I'm so glad i'm around to hear this and get to experience her first few years taking care of a child.

 

 

And even just now, while me and Marybella continue to cherish this moment.

 

It makes me wonder, if that's what Jacob wants too.

   

--

 

I opened the front door of the house and looked up ahead to see Jacob.

 

He was in the kitchen. The tv was on, displaying the food network.

 

 

I just stare at him for a second, in awe of the determination on his appearance.

 

 

But somehow, I just keep on wondering if he was okay. On those days without me.

 

All the time he had, to do something to make a change. Yet he stood here.

 

In our home.

 

 

He waited for me, and did something.

 

 

Jacob's head lifted up to see me with tired eyes.

 

A slight smile spreads across my face. He went back to working on the sink full of dirty dishses.

 

 

I was still amazed at how much he had changed.

 

And if time did fly by, it seems abnormal for him.

 

 

He's here, and i'm here again.

 

 

But something's missing, even though we're still together.

 

After this long, hard time apart....it just doesn't feel right.

 

Even if I try to convince myself it's normal.

 

 

I head up the stairs, entering our bedroom. My tired body falls onto the comfy bed sheets.

 

I missed being in my room, this natural state and this life.

 

 

I groaned then buried my face in the covers.

 

 

"God why is everything so hard?" I said.

 

I stared down into the sheets of the bed.

 

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

 

 

But for now, I need to get rest.

 

 

I haven't had a good night's sleep in so long.

 

 

I furrow my head into the soft pillow as I drfit off.

 

Maybe tomorrow will be better.

 

--

  

My alarm clock rang as my eyes shot open.

 

For a second I thought it was weird for an alarm to go off.

 

 

It wasn't like that in Jail. Usually were awake before the officer buzzes our cell door open.

 

 

But this time, it had a different feeling. There wasn't the dim green white light above my head.

 

And the wooden bunk wasn't planted above my face.

 

 

The orange jumpsuit wasn't piled on me like thin cotten fabric.

 

And the shadows of the cells wasn't displayed near my bunk side.

 

 

I eventually sat up in bed.

 

I turned my head to Jacob, who was sleeping peacefully.

 

A snore here and there escapes from his mouth.

 

 

I smile.

 

He's here.

 

My eyes slowly begin to shut on me, but I thought about writing on my blog. It would be nice to do it again, since I had the absence for a year.

 

 

My feet shuffle to get myself up, my body follows in the heavy footsteps.

 

 

I sat myself at the table where my computer was, I opened it to it's previous state that I left it in.

 

It was fully charged which was odd. My head turns back to Jacob, sound asleep.

 

 

Maybe he charged it for me.

 

I slowly turn back to the computer and began typing.

 

 

''Hello myElleWoodsers, i'm sorry for not posting in so long. I was....away, for a long time. As you know, in Jail. I want to say sorry for the inconvience when the meet up was made during April of last year. I didn't mean for things to go haywire. However, I have served my time and I am out. I will try to make it up to you guys with another meet up soon in New York City. I'm sorry for the transportation and time you took to visit me for the meet and greet. I'm sorry if I had upset a lot of you. Trust me, the regret  I feel is utterly too much. But I plan to make new things better this year. I hope you all are doing fine, I miss writing to you guys. Quite a lot actually.'' @SummerElleW_86

 

 

I had wrote only a few sentences.

 

But it was hopeless.

 

 

Instead of trying to retype everything, I got dressed and met up with Marybella at Central park.

 

She would drive us uptown to the adoption agency.

 

It was better to clear my mind while I try to adjust to everything again.

  

 

 

We sat in the old building's waiting room.

 

Marybella was so anxious she tapped her foot constantly, as if she was on the stage, doing her ballet solo.

 

 

"Calm down Marybella." I said grabbing her hand.

 

She looked over to me and she instantly slowed down on the tapping.

 

 

Just as we were waiting some more, an older lady came to us from her office.

 

She checked her board filled with papers.

 

 

"Ms. Machistan?" the older lady said.

 

"Yes?" Marybella answered.

 

"Meet your adopted daughter." she said

 

 

Another lady came by holding a baby in her hands. Marybella paused in awe and she looked down under the blankets.

 

"Is this it? I mean is this her?" she said.

 

 

I stand up at the alert in her voice, she sounded a little scared.

 

"Wha-, I just never suspected. I,....i." Marybella said, sounding emotional.

 

 

"NO, no. This baby belongs to the Hendersens." the older lady said.

 

Pointing to a younger couple, me and Marybella look.

 

The couple comes up, just a few seats down from us and they take the baby.

 

 

They smiled and left.

 

 

"Now, this your adpoted daughter." the lady said, pushing a kid from behind her.

 

 

The younger girl had beautiful brown eyes and her face lit up as she looked ahead.

 

She was cute.

 

"Ahh." Marybella said.

 

 

The young girl hid.

 

 

"What's her name?" Marybella asked.

 

"Her name is Taylor." the lady said.

 

 

Marybella interuppted. "Oh is that short for something?"

 

"Taylor." the lady said, with a stale expression.

 

 

"Oh, well. Hello little taylor." she said.

 

Taylor looked over to Marybella then squealed.

 

"I'm your new mother, come on. No need to be afraid." she insisted.

 

 

Taylor looked over to Marybella again, then went up and hugged her.

 

"Aww, she's hugging me." Marybella saidm turning to me.

 

 

 I smiled as I watched the transaction of everything, it was truly amazing.

 

 

 

"I don't get it, how is it you have kids before me." I said.

 

 

We went to the park to have Taylor get used to the New York enviornment, since she was moved up here.

 

Marybella was getting used to Taylor being around. 

 

I however wasn't.

 

 

"Well in time, things happen and when things happen..." Marybella paused afterwards.

 

"Either it get's worse or better." I said finishing the sentence for her.

 

 

"Well techincally yes, but what I mean is. We all grow up and become mature, look at me, taking care of a child now." Marybella said.

 

 

She picked up Taylor to sit on her lap.

 

Bella smiles at Taylor who bites her fingers.

 

 

I grew tired of the situation, an odd feeling i've never experienced before.

 

Kinda like boredem and lost of interest, with a lot of complaining.

 

 

Mainly towards me. What I had, but also what I don't have.

 

I don't know, but for now i'll just push it down and figure it out soon.

 

 

"I need to go home, i'm tired. I'll see you at work." I said getting up from the bench.

 

"Alright, say goodbye to Aunt Elle." Marybella said, making Taylor wave goodbye.

 

 

"Don't call me that," I say abruptly.

 

I instantly regret is as I leave.

 

 

I finally realized what was the disgust I had seeping into my skin, making me crawl at the thought of everyone growing up.

 

They all changed and i'm jealous.

 

 

I was jealous.

 

Everyone's lives were put to a hault when I went to jail, even after days and months have passed.

 

But now it seems like time unfroze and new things have been planned, that didn't happen before.

 

 

Like, somewhere in this choatic mess, I was looking for the old me.

 

But now i'm searching for heaven, for a piece of what i've become now.

 

In my choatic masterpiece, called my life.

  

 

 

"Alright, let's get this show on the road." Lauren said handing me the clipboard.

 

 

It was time for me to present my work to the dean.

 

I was scared, I might lose my job and again.

 

 

I already lost enough before, I can't lose my job as the editor and writer here.

 

I just needed to have faith in myself.

 

 

But I had to remember. I begged for Lauren to give me this job, and now I have to suck it up.

 

 

"Can I have everybody's attention. Please make your way to the stage area." Lauren shouted to everyone.

 

I took a deep breath before making my way down the stage. Seats began to fill up.

 

 

Interns, workers and everyone else that heard Lauren piled towards me.

 

 

I got up to the podium and stared down at everyone.

 

 

I felt nervous and scared to say anything.

 

Everyone's eyes looked straight ahead at me, it was nerve-wrecking.

 

I had to say something.

 

 

"Um, hello."

 

Everyone continued staring at me, waiting to here what I had to say.

 

"I was told by Lauren my previous boss, to come plan and attend a social light party for our sponsers from FARELLE. And the dean." I started.

 

 

Lauren nodded along in the background.

 

So far so great.

 

 

''And I wanted the dean of FARELLE to see that, even though, that I was put in jail for something horrible I did in my past. I still deserve this job, it means so much from when I started working here just 2 years ago.'' I said.

 

 

The dean was listening, as everyone else nodded along.

 

 

''I've made a lot of mistakes, but I can also fix it. I love working here, FARELLE made me feel at home. I could never see myself working as anywhere else other than here, being the writer and editor of FARELLE. I brought new beginnings and respect to this department and I deserve to have my orignial job back-'' I continued.

 

 

As I thought of other words to say, the dean approached me and I paused.

 

Right in the middle of my speech.

 

 

''Ms. Woods, do you know what you are saying?''

 

Her voice was clean and clear from a big view.

 

 

''Yes..., i'm saying i'm obligated to have my job back, because I made a change for this company. And big changes to be exact. Nothing I can forget, and i've cleaned up my act from last year.'' I respond.

 

 

The dean walked closer to the podium.

 

''So you think you can do better this time, no more fooling around. Because being writer and editor takes hard work, are you willing to do that again?'' she asked.

 

''Yes, i'm full on ready. I'm done making a fool of myself and getting involved in things that aren't necessary.'' I stated.

 

 

I heard Rikki and Marybella root for me silently, in a series of smiles and thumbs up.

 

 

The dean gives me a surprised look.

 

''I recommend knowing that before saying it.'' she says.

 

 

I paused not saying anything, did I do something wrong?

 

I don't know.

 

 

The dean approaches me again, this time she walks up to me.

 

Face to face near the podium.

 

She lookes at me sweetly.

 

 

''Welcome back, I trust you can do better?'' she says.

 

I smiled eagerly.

 

 

She turns to the crowd.

 

''Everyone please stand up, for our returning Writer and Editor of FARELLE magazine.''

 

 

Everyone stood up and clapped, I was astonished.

 

I'd never thought that i'd get my job back, with just a few simple words.

 

 

''Welcome back, I knew some day you would. Lauren has told me all about you since you started working here.'' she finally says.

 

 

The dean quietly walked away as the crowd of employees talked while i'm still on stage.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki approached me at the stage, as I make my way off it.

 

They looked happy.

 

''We're so glad you got your job back.'' Bella says first.

 

''I knew you would get it.'' Rikki said.

 

 

Marybella smiled as she leans in to give me a quick squeeze hug.

 

I smiled as Rikki pulled me in for a hug.

 

 

''Great, now let's get to work.'' I said.

 

We cling arm in arm, as we exit the stage area.

 

 

''Okay now let's talk summer.'' Rikki said.

 

 

We're interuppted by Lauren before anyone can say anything, our heads turn to her near the stage area.

 

The crowd of sponsers and the dean had already left in a hurry.

 

 

''Alright everyone let's get teamed up, we have work to do before the big trip.'' Lauren said.

 

We all go to my reception desk, as everyone else exits from the stage area back to their work environment.

 

 

''Yes, the trip.'' Rikki said excidedly high-fiving Marybella.

 

''What trip?'' I asked Rikki.

 

 

''Right. Remember the trip we were all gonna take before you got hauled into jail?" Rikki stated.

 

"Yes," I replied.

 

"We're taking it this year. To Brazil, for the Magazine's Face Offs.'' she says.

 

 

I totally forget about the big trip.

 

 

''So did we win last year?'' I asked.

 

 

I was anxious to know, even if I wasn't there for competition.

 

I wanted to know if everyone did great, and if we won some sort of prize or something.

 

 

''Actually,...we didn't get to go. Because of you.'' Rikki said dropping her smile.

 

''Why, didn't Lauren take my place?'' I replied.

 

''She tried, but the judges said all writer and editor's of the magazine company should be there. We got disqualified.'' Rikki says.

 

 

The small joy I felt, disappeared.

 

It felt the skies above me fall over quickly, it turned grey.

 

 

Sometimes the skies are grey and I like it.

 

Sometimes, I don't.

 

 

''I can't believe we got disqualified because of me, it's all my fault. Only because of a stupid mistake that I made.'' I finally said.

  

''It's not your fault,"Rikki claimed.

 

 

"Plus we've got better things to take to Brazil this year. So we'll talk later.'' Marybella said rubbing my shoulder.

 

She hurries to her office and Rikki ran to her office too.

 

 

I'm left in the middle of the area, near my reception desk as Roxie approached me.

 

 

She approaches me with a box of her belongings.

 

She had something snarky to say. I narrowed my eyes.

 

 

''Sorry, I had to take you're place. But hopefully, it'll go well at contest in Brazil.'' Roxie said.

 

She gave a nasty look, before she exited through the glass doors.

 

 

''Goodbye, Cruella.'' I said under my breath.

 

I watched as her figure left.

 

 

Suddenly I felt a little more happier, the one who wears Calvin Klein had left.

 

I smiled as I went over to my receptionist desk.

 

 

It's so good to be back at my own desk again.

 

 

''Everything's finally falling into place.'' I whispered.

  

--

  

When I got home I plopped on the couch. I groaned as my tired back tensed from the pillows.

 

Jacob came in as I screamed into a pillow.

 

 

''Work got you tied up?'' he asked.

 

''Yes, I have a full on big commitment to FARELLE now. I proved to everyone that i'm ready to go back to work, and it doesn't feel as amazing as I thought.'' i said.

 

I groaned into the pillow again.

 

 

''Hey.'' he says.

 

''What?'' I said lifting my head.

 

''Wanna go shopping? After being together for 2 years we've never been shopping, at least not together.''

 

 

I smiled as I saw his smile begin to form too.

 

 

''I can't believe they're having a sale on bath and body works.'' I said, picking up 3 different things.

 

''Are you sure we can't just buy one?'' Jacob asked me.

 

 

''No, summer is almost here, I haven't done anything around the house lately. I need to refresh my lifestyle with new things.'' I said, picking out candles.

 

''I'm glad you're getting used to things again, it's nice to see you happy for once.'' he says.

 

''What do you mean by that?'' I asked turning to him

 

 

''It's just that....you're trying so hard to fit back in again. I think you should just let it settle, get used to things being the way they are now.'' Jacob said.

 

 

I turned my eyes down.

 

I couldn't fight back and say something.

 

His words silenced me.

 

 

He was right, I was trying too hard to get things back to normal.

 

 

''You really think a lot of about me, you know that?'' I said smiling to him.

 

''Every single day has passed since I met you, and I still can't stop thinking about you.'' he replies.

 

 

He leans onto a shelf of candles which caught my eye, I slightly smile and look to Jacob.

 

 

''That's nice. About, how I need to just let things flow. But I can't help it. I need to get things back to the way it was.'' I replied.

 

I knew I should have kept my mouth shut. But again, it's just me.

 

Always with an opinion.

 

 

Jacob lifts my chin to his eye level, I hadn't realized he was looking at me.

 

''Wanna go see a movie, something to cheer you up?'' he asks.

 

 

A small smile spreads across his face.

 

''Yes.'' I replied, putting a candle back on a shelf.

  

 

 

''Are you excited to see the new Paranoid Scared Straight movie?'' Jacob asked, holding two bags of popcorn.

 

''I haven't watched any movies in a year, of course i'm excited.'' I shot back.

 

 

My excitement was on full power mode.

 

I was ready to finally see a movie after a year of nothing but fights and drama to watch from the cells.

 

 

''Me too. I'm glad we're finally spending some time together. Since you started working again.'' he replies.

 

''Hey, don't bring up work. It's the weekend, remember?'' I replied to him.

 

 

I scrunch my nose to reveal a smile at him.

 

We find our seats.

 

 

The lights dimmed down as we saw the big screen flash with characters and advertisement.

 

A scene comes on which catches my eyes.

 

 

''Hey, is Jail anything like this movie hitting theaters soon?'' he asking, taking a mouthful of popcorn.

 

I knew he was playing around with my mind, and it was not that funny.

 

 

I looked up from my popcorn bag and saw the characters, wild and crazy.

 

Fights break out. Hair being pulled and food being thrown around.

 

I flinch as I watch the seriously bad fight start before it breaks into silence in the theater.

 

 

 

''Something along those lines, except for the cat fights.'' I replied with a smile.

 

It's too bad, he doesn't know what it's really like.

 

But I hope he gets the picture.

 

 

Then, the movie started

 

And I was enjoying it.

 

 

It fades from black to a starting scene.

 

Big soliders approached the main character, as she ran and eventually broke ice caps. She fell in the water.

 

An intense scene to start with.

 

 

''I'm going to use the restroom.'' I said to Jacob.

 

I got up to leave.

  

--

  

I washed my hands vigoriously in the sink.

 

The restroom stalls aren't all the clean or spacious.

 

I keep remembering the toilet that was close by in the cell.

 

 

I shudder at the thought.

 

Besides, I don't think i'm going to be eating my popcorn anymore.

 

 

Just as I turned off the facuet, I took a quick glance in the mirror and saw someone.

 

Bot not just anyone.

 

Sara.

 

 

She looked just as stunned, as I pat dry my hands with paper towels.

 

''What are you doing here?'' I asked sternly.

 

 

She ignored my answer and went to wash her hands.

 

I looked at her furiously, she caught on and didn't look at me.

 

 

Finally I gave up, if I had stared any longer I would have burned a hole into her head.

 

 

Then, she finally had an answer.

 

''I'm here on a date. Nice to see you again, Elle.'' she says sweetly.

 

 

After all this long time, she suddenly shows up out of nowhere and says she's on a date.

 

Can't she remember what she did to me?

 

 

''So how's life?'' I asked, steadying my voice.

 

''Great, how's yours?'' she asked in a tone.

 

 

I replied with a raised eyebrow.

 

''So you guys still a thing, you and Kyle?'' I asked finally.

 

 

The empty restroom sounded alluring with the whirs from the cinema A/C that caught my attention.

 

I turn back from the empty stalls to her.

 

 

''No, I broke up with him. But not neccssarily yet, i'm currently with someone else.'' she responds.

 

''So you're cheating on him?'' iIshot back silently.

 

 

''Not cheating, exploring my options.'' Sara said applying moisturizer to her hands.

 

''So cheating?'' I implied.

 

 

Sara looked up upset, eyes glossed. 

 

''What if he hates me, what if I made a mistake?'' she says.

 

 

She was still the same old girl she was before.

 

But I had to let my anger on her go, it's not good for my soul anymore.

 

 

''No, he wont.'' I said comforting Sara.

 

 

I couldn't believe I was still talking to her. I don't even have to deal with this. 

 

I can just walk away and pretend this never happened.

 

But I stayed anyways.

 

 

I watched Sara wipe her tears.

 

''I miss having you as a friend.'' she said.

 

 

I gritted my teeth at the mention, I didn't know how to break it to her verbally.

 

We weren't really friends, but I guess you can call it that.

 

 

I look down at my feet before looking up again.

 

My eyes shift to her's, not able to show an expression.

 

 

''Well, things happen. You were just doing your job.'' I finally said.

 

 

I finally admit it, that I forgave Sara at this point.

 

She was not a bad person.

 

 

Sara was just doing her job, and that included me hating her forever.

 

But it's worth the grudge.

 

I had to let go.

 

 

''So how's everything with your new date?'' I asked.

 

''It's fine, i'm just glad I got to see you again. I wanted to apologize for forcefully abusing your time, you know, before jail and everything.'' Sara finally replied.

 

''Let's put this behind us. Besides, i'm gonna go back now. I want to watch the rest of this movie with Jacob, before it's over.'' I replied.

 

 

I left the restroom before Sara could say anything else.

 

 

It was quite weird to say there was an awkwardness in the air, but a silent ring in our last conversation.

 

A nice conversation we had, since she locked me up.

 

Things were changing after all.

 

 

The motion on the screen moved along as found my way back to my seat.

 

''Everything okay?'' Jacob asked, as I sat back down.

 

''Yep.'' I replied.

 

Chapter Four: 99 Cent Dreams

 

''Vanessa?'' Lauren says.

 

She's quiet for a second as everyone around her lingers.

 

I watched from my reception desk, as the fashion pre-show was being set up.

 

 

''What's up?'' Rikki says.

 

I turn my attention to her nearing my desk.

 

''Nothing, just watching the model's practice for the pre-show. The big showcase in the magazine face off's. And I have to run the track like everybody else, when Lauren finally gives me a task.'' I respond.

 

 

''Are you really gonna do that?'' she asks curious.

 

''Who expects me to do that in Gucci?'' I said.

 

 

I lifted up my legs showing the boots I took from the big closet earlier this morning.

 

I see Rikki looking down at them in awe.

 

 

''Wow, Gucci must be everything to you.'' she says with a smile.

 

''Well not Gucci, but also Prada and Louis Vuitton and Fendi. And Givenchy-'' I say back happily.

 

 

Lauren continues to yell at everyone, which strikes us as normal to us.

 

Her voice echoes around the area.

 

 

''Wanna get out of here?'' Rikki asks.

 

''Gladly.'' I said prompt.

 

''Great.'' she replied.

  

 

  

''I never expected you Rikki ,as the type to order a girly drink.'' I said.

 

''It never hurts to get a venti iced coffee, unlike you.'' Rikki points to me.

 

I look down to my drink, she was right. 

 

 

But also very wrong.

 

 

''Hey, a soy vanilla latte, extra whip, no cream is an all person choice.'' I shot back.

 

''You know that.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

I stare up at the sunny sky.

 

A gust of wind blows by, I shiver.

 

 

''Can't wait for the warm weather to hit the suburbs, don't you?'' I ask.

 

''Yeah, so ready for summer here in Manhattan.'' Rikki says.

 

 

''Hey, now that we're talking about summer...I figured since i'm back at work and we're talking off FARELLE grounds. We should hang out more, you know since last year.'' I insisted.

 

''Yeah, we should. But I can't choose between central park or a nearby resteraunt.'' Rikki says, as we cross the street.

 

''We can try 90 Rockers again, we haven't been there in a while.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki and I laugh.

  

I remember the last time we were there, we fought and things ended up getting ugly.

 

But that was last year, this year we make new things happen. With me.

 

 

''Sure.'' Rikki said unwillingly.

 

''I forgot to ask since i've been back. How are you,....since I last saw you?'' I asked.

 

 

Our side by side walk was awkward, it seemed weird to talk to Rikki again.

 

Not even formally.

 

Like we were friends before, and now.

 

 

But it needs to be official again.

 

 

''Well of bunch of neighbors put me in a mental hospital, and I got better and found my peace.'' I said.

 

''You were in a mental hospital?'' I ask, a little concerned.

 

 

''Yep, and with that kind of record, it looks like I won't be dating anyone soon.'' Rikki replies.

 

''You can't say that.'' I shot back.

 

''Why not?'' Rikki replied.

 

 

''I'm sure there are plenty of people who want to date you. Because you might actually meet someone, who you'd want to date and like very much. Or someone who's willing to give you the day of time.'' I said.

 

''Like who?'' she asked.

 

''Someone,...who you've never known before. In that kind of way.'' I suggested.

 

 

''Hey, if I hadn't known you back when it was your first day at FARELLE. We wouldn't be friends and I would have still been with Jason, my life would have been normal.'' he says.

 

 

''We would've been like,...friends to each other.'' I said.

 

''Highly not, but yeah, we would have.'' she replied.

 

 

We walked towards a seating area in an open grass space, between 2 apartment buildings. 

 

It was oddly werid to see something like that in Manhattan, but that's a state of New York for ya.

 

 

''So anything happening with you and Jacob. Since you guys are, you know, reunited?'' Rikki asked happily.

 

''Well, we actually went shopping and went to the movie theater. And we haven't talked since then.'' I replied.

 

 

The wind gusts by as I saw Rikki's blonde highlights flip around.

 

I straighten the shirt that I wore when it folded in the wind.

 

 

Rikki shook her head out of impatient answers.

 

''You guys need to start dating again, have you forgot you're together?'' she said.

 

''Well no, we just lost connection after I went to jail. And before that."

 

 

"You guys live in a house together, you're bound to find time to date." Rikki said,

 

"You know. Besides...we're still together.'' I replied.

 

 

I look off to the side in confusion. Did I mean that?

 

 

''That counts right?'' I said seconds later, turning back to Rikki.

 

''Yeah, but that won't last for long. Eventually he's gonna grow tired of you, even after you went away for the past year.'' Rikki replies.

 

 

''I know. Things aren't exactly going back to normal. But it's a work in progress.'' I say.

 

''Hey, the Elle i'm friends with, has known Jacob for at least 3 years now. You guys haven't been anywhere together since you moved up in the suburbs.'' she says.

 

 

''I know, but 3 years? And we've been together for so long?'' I said looking down.

 

''Hey me and Jason haven't been married a long time, 2 years to be exact. 3 years is just the tip of the iceberg. Jacob either has to propose to you now or some time in the future.'' Rikki reassures me.

 

 

What Rikki was saying made sense. After all these few years, it's up to him to make the big move.

 

Either get engaged and get hitched, or just suffer in the stage of romance again.

 

 

''Well, maybe we're not meant to be together anymore. That's why I was put in jail, maybe it was a sign that we need to break up.'' I said.

 

''Yeah, maybe. And I never would have found a sense of fun for once, instead, being stuck at home as a housewife.'' Rikki said.

 

 

I know her responses were coming off targeted, but it seemed too real to begin with.

 

Maybe if she changes the subject, it won't be awkward.

 

 

''How bout after the big trip to Brazil for the magazine face offs...we hang, we both won't be busy then. Right?'' Rikki suggested.

 

''Right.'' I said with a smile.

 

''Now that's the 'Elle' I know. It would be nice to see you and me, the old girls together again. Just like how we use. to last year.'' Rikki said with a grin.

 

  

''Yeah, but last year was just my wake up call to stop doing things that could get me in trouble. Especially in the past.'' I said, feeling upset.

 

''I know you're a good person. Things are different now, let's go back to work.'' Rikki replies.

 

We get up from the table.

 

 

 

''So what do you think?'' I asked mid way to FARELLE's parking lot.

 

''About what? '' Rikki said looking down at her phone.

 

''We throw a party after this month for my home return and new beginnings.'' I reply.

 

 

''Sure. That would be good, except it would be for all us. You, me, Marybella, Mark, Taylor and Jacob.'' she says putting her phone away.

 

''Great, we'll shop for dresses in Brazil that we can bring back home.'' I respond.

 

''Yeah, and i'll get a brazilian wax while we soak in copacabana.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

''I wanna make up my mind, so do you think I should go for fashionably simple or something that says beautiful?''' I said.

 

Rikki shakes her head.

 

She can't decide either.

 

--

 

We walk in on interns gathering for a small meeting with Lauren and Vanessa.

 

It's all calm and quiet till we're back into our places.

 

 

''I'll talk with you later, bye Elle.'' Rikki says heading to the distance.

 

 

I walk back to my desk and sit down to start on the assignment Lauren left on my table.

 

As I continue on with my assignment, I heard a heavy walk come from the left of my desk.

 

 

I could tell by the click of the heels it was Marybella.

 

I looked up to see Lauren stare at me from a distance, no type of expression on her face.

 

 

''Hey, Elle.'' Bella said, approaching my desk.

 

My eyes rose, I felt the tension rise.

 

 

It was not just the simple way she said my name just now. 

 

It felt different, as if it was rolled off the tongue.

 

 

''Hey.'' I reply.

 

''Can you give me your shoes.'' she said.

 

''Why? No.'' I shot back.

 

 

''Give me your shoes.'' she said back, stern.

 

''Why, do you want to run in them?'' I asked.

 

''Yes. Now give me your shoes.'' she said.

 

 

Marybella gave me a look and finally I gave up. There's no fighting with a fashionista in pink.

 

Clearly, her wardrobe was bathed in Chanel and Tiffany Co.

 

 

She took off her stilettos and I take off my designer boots.

 

 

''Hold these.'' she said.

 

Bella handed her stilettos to me as I whisper goodbye to my boots. 

 

 

As she rushed on her way, my instinct kicked in.

 

It just didn't feel right to give up those boots.

 

It was sad to see it go off my feet. The bare feet that deserved those boots, even if it was borrowed.

 

 

I love those boots.

 

 

''Hey!'' I said, startled by my own words.

 

 

Bella turned, giving me a cautious look. I brushed the embarassed feeling away.

 

''Give me my shoes back, I got it. Fair and sqaure.'' I replied.

 

 

Marybella walked closer to me, slowing her pace.

 

I felt a pair of eyes on me, pretty soon everyone around the area was watching me.

 

 

Maybella opened her mouth to speak. I cleared my throat.

 

She crossed her arms over her chest.

 

 

''Impressive job, Woods.'' she said finally.

 

She flashed me with a big smile, the tension in the air left.

 

 

''I was beginning to think you wouldn't talk back or ask why I took your boots.'' she replied, approaching me.

 

''But why did you do that?'' I asked.

 

''Because Lauren had a plan, a test. She wanted to try an experiment on you this week.'' she replied.

 

 

 

''I get that now, but why take my boots?'' I asked.

 

''Because, a girl never steals gucci from another girl. And I figured since fashion is something you clearly have a style in, Lauren set up the trap just in time. She knew you wouldn't resist to take the boots back.'' Bella said.

 

 

Marybella smirks at me, as Lauren claps in the distance with the interns.

 

''I see you've heard about my test on you right?'' Lauren said approaching me.

 

''Yeah it was kind of silly, but, I appreiciate that.'' I said, relieved.

 

 

''Well i'm glad that you enjoyed that rush of adrenaline, now get back to work. And just so you know, it was a test to see how well you compromise to any situation. I figured i'd do that since you're back in work.'' Lauren said

 

I smiled as she leaves with the interns, walking towards Vanessa.

 

 

Everyone goes back to work, including Marybella.

 

And I go back to my reception desk, finishing my work for the day.

 

 --

 

I opened the front door to the house and saw Jacob in the kitchen. 

 

 

Jacob turns my way giving me a small smile.

 

I return the favor and smile back.

  

I enter past the living room and towards the kitchen. I set down my purse on the table, as my slow steps pile onto the tile floor of the kitchen.

 

 

I give Jacob as hug, as his back is turned to the sink. Lately he's been obssesed with the kitchen and spends his days cooking and cleaning there.

 

 

But I don't mind. As long as he'd doing something while I was gone.

 

I held on tight to his body. I could smell the sweet scent I didn't recognize on his dark green sweater.

 

 

''I love you.'' I say.

 

"You never say that," Jacob jokingly says.

 

I smile, rubbing my cheek on his shoulder as I try to find my comfort in it.

 

 

''Love you too.'' he whispered back.

 

Chapter Five: Fading

  

''Morning Elle.'' an intern said passing by.

 

''Hello Elle.'' Vanessa said.

 

 

She passes by, with Marcus on her foot trying to keep up.

 

Vanessa was always busy, no matter what.

 

 

''Hey girl.'' Rikki said walking and joining beside me. 

 

 

Lauren walked past, then stopped to give me a smile as I head to my reception desk.

 

She dropped the stories needed to be approved and published today.

  

There's so much work to do.

 

 

''Elle, can you please get me my fan mail from Becky down in the shipment office, after these stories are printed?'' Lauren asked.

 

 

''Yes, i'll do that.'' I replied.

 

 

My head turns back to my computer, as I turn on the software for the stories.

 

I typed up my story for my big published return to FARELLE and a couple others for the season.

 

 

Lauren wanted me to write my side of the story and explaination to why I came back. And course i've written up a huge novel on it, but page will have to do.

  

 

 

By the time it came to an hour after writing stories and more things to cover on the magazine, I was done with the assignments.

 

And I needed to hand Lauren her fan mail.

 

 

I exit my reception desk, towards the glass doors. I pass by our merchandisers and stock market investors that are in today, towards the elevators.

 

 

 

I don't know much of where the shipment office was.

 

I've spent most of my time here in FARELLE just being busy on the same floor everyday.

 

 

But it's nice to explore parts of FARELLE i've never seen before.

 

 

I got into the elevator and press the 4th button.

 

When the doors dinged open, I was surprised by the floor i've never thought I'd seen.

 

 

So far from the 5th floor where I work, people here were buzzing around, working.

 

No loud noise, just silent talking.

 

 

This was an amazment to me. Lauren was hiding this secret away from me for too long.

 

No wonder why she told me to go get it today.

 

 

Usually she would have whatever intern is nearby to go get it for her.

 

But today was my turn to keep the secret.

 

 

''May I help you?'' asked a young woman at the front desk.

 

I turned to her from looking around, she was straight ahead from where I stood.

 

 

''Yes, I need to pick up the fan mail for Ms. Lauren.'' I replied hovering over the desk.

 

 

She sorts through some bins, then ends up placing her hands on a big storage bin filled with mail.

 

She opens the lids and takes out the mail, handing it to me.

 

 

It was wrapped in a thick rubberband. My hands reach out to take them.

 

''Make sure Lauren gets it okay?'' she replied.

 

 

This must be Becky.

 

 

Lauren mentioned her during my time of beginning to write.

 

''Sure thing Becky.'' I said.

 

 

She pauses, unsure of the situation.

 

''Wait, you know my name?'' she replies.

 

''Yes, Lauren told me this morning.'' I replied.

 

 

She looked at me for a long cold minute.

 

''Welcome to the station, the shipment office, A.K.A the busy floor no one's ever been to in years. Only interns come down here if needed.'' she says with enthusiasm, then trails off.

 

''Oh, i'm not an intern. I'm the writer and editor here. So you'll probably won't see me down here unless I need to get Lauren's mail again.'' I replied.

 

 

I happily shake the rubber band wrapped around Lauren's mail for a second, as Becky sits back in awe.

 

Becky finally moves her eyes to look at something else besides me.

 

 

''Huh, no kidding. See ya.'' she replied sorting papers.

 

Yep.

 

''Well enjoy your stay here as long as possible, before those elevator doors close and you'll never see me again.'' she implied.

 

''Bye.'' I reply.

 

I exit back to the elevator.

 

 

Becky turns back to her computer as I turn around to see her one more time.

 

This world was only here for a few minutes in my life and already I missed it.

 

I could see myself down here more often than I think.

 

 

I rushed back to Lauren's office, where she's choosing a line from a new fashion icon with the merchandising chief.

 

''Yes, it will work and will be trending this year.'' Lauren said as I enter in.

 

''Lauren.'' I whispered.

 

I knocked on her open door.

 

 

Her attention is brought to me. She smiles widely.

 

 

''Elle, let me see these.'' she said, taking the fan mail from me.

 

 

She searches through them and throws the junk or (hate) mail in the recycle bin.

 

''Junk, junk, junk. Oooh, fan mail letter to Elle.'' Lauren said.

 

 

I stood by the door frame shocked.

 

Was there actually fan mail for me?

 

 

She smiles widely as I grab it from her.

 

I rip and tear apart the envelope as I leave her office.

 

I spot Rikki and Marybella near my desk.

 

Probably gonna ask to have lunch together soon.

 

 

''Dear Elle Woods, You are my inspriation, you keep me up to date from time to time and you always have a mind-set that is admireable. You're gorgeous and talented. One of the best writer and editor's to come in this world-'' I read aloud.

 

I hear clapping from behind me.

 

How did she get here so quickly?

 

I continued reading.

 

 

''But after noticing your case that you were arrested for, you wound up in jail for the murder of your father. Your step-father. You still may be encouraging from your last post on your blog, but the actions you took for in the past make you the dumb one. You didin't think hard enough about the consequences. You should be fired from your job and get your act together. This is the worst i've seen from you-'' I read.

 

 

Lauren pushes the letter down as I thin my lips against each other.

 

I was getting mad.

 

I felt hurt, as the lively halo around me, disappeared.

 

 

My throat went dry and my lips grew cold as I stared at the last words.

 

 

This is the worst i've seen from you

 

 

I didn't want to continue the rest, it was harsh enough.

 

And a fan sent this to me, so it really hurts.

 

 

How can she say such words and say I wasn't thinking right?

 

 

I agree. I did make mistakes and decisions in the past that made me who I am today. But it's no excuse to talk bad about something i'm trying to fix.

 

Ever since I got out, things have been hard for me.

 

As if no one knows what's going on in my head.

 

No one knows anymore.

 

 

Lauren wraps her hands around my arms as she takes the letter and tosses it in the trash bin.

 

She silently speaks near my ear as she sets her head down on my left shoulder.

 

 

''It's alright darling, it'll get better. This is what the readers are saying, until you get back into your feet and a-game. And prove everyone wrong.'' she reassured me.

 

''No, i'm not gonna get better. This reader who wrote me this letter is right. I was so dumb to think that I wouldn't get caught.'' I replied.

 

I removed her grip from my shoulders.

 

 

I turned around to face her as I shook the letter in my right hand.

 

"Elle," I heard Rikki say.

 

''No Elle.'' Lauren said as neared me again.

 

"This is a wake up call for me. I'm shit, and everybody knows it. I can't be forgiven by everyone. I've got by with the tip of my tongue, and still....people won't accept me." I say.

 

''You are the most signigicant, smart, responsible, caring person I know. Who brought FARELLE to great lengths. No one can tell you that you made a mistake. It's your decision to shut the haters out. Now get yourself together.'' she says.

 

 

It struck me a bit, Lauren was always so encouraing and I never really took her words to heart.

 

I was jealous of how postive and happy she was since I started here.

 

I wish I was more like her.

 

 

''Thanks Lauren, that's nice of you to say.'' I replied forcing a smile on my face.

 

''And don't forget about our big trip to Brazil coming up in 2 weeks, be ready.'' Lauren said to me.

 

 

My smile disappeared as I walked back to my desk.

 

 

I was still upset, that was the first bad fan mail I ever heard or read in my life.

 

But it was just a letter.

 

Nothing like that can bring me down, not now.

 

While i'm bringing myself up after this hard first week back home.

 

 

As my thoughts disappear, i'm interuppted.

 

''Hey Elle, we're have a meeting before lunch, come with us.''' Rikki said.

 

''Okay, when does it start?'' I asked.

 

''Right now.'' Rikki stated.

 

 

I stopped in my step and, then turned to the stage area that was switched up from the photoshoot earlier this week.

 

 

''Alright, let's go.'' I said as Rikki.

 

I walked ahead.

 

 

Other workers joined us as the seats filled, I was beginning to think it was not just a small meeting.

 

Me, Marybella, Rikki, Lauren, Vanessa and the rest of the employees working at FARELLE, all sat down.

 

The rest of the employes sat behind us, eventually leading to the rest of the seats being filled with interns.

 

 

I take a quick glance back in my seat to see if Ruby was there, and she was. She was talking with her friends.

 

She took a quick glance at me, then turned back to the other interns.

 

 

I turn back to the podium up ahead.

 

Marybella grabs my shoulder as she sits beside me.

 

I give a quick smile then the mic turns on, as Lauren gets up on stage.

 

 

''Excuse me, everyone.'' Lauren says over the microphone.

 

 

''Hello, now I know this is abnormal for all of you right now. But I have a big announcement for our upcoming trip to Brazil for the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's. As you know last year was a stressful year, since we lost our dear Elle. We didn't have our writer at the time.'' Lauren starts off.

 

 

Everyone's eyes turned to me, everyone had been really giving me cold eye for not being there and not being able to get the best rate from all the other magazine companies.

 

But I try to ignore it time to time. When people bring it up.

 

My head lowers as I tried to look up to the podium again.

 

 

''Anyways, this year. Since we have our writer back in time for the event, we'll have everything we need.'' she says.

 

 

Everyone clapped along and so did I.

 

I was so glad to be able to go to the event this year and participate.

 

It was a dream since last year to furthur explore my talents in writing with competition.

 

 

''Now I know, this news may alarm you. But in order to qualify for the trip payment and requirements, we need one other writer who has worked as an intern here, to go.'' Lauren says.

 

 

She pauses for a second waiting for our anticipation.

 

I was anxiously waiting too.

 

 

''So i've invited someone back into FARELLE, just in time from her long break.'' Lauren finally said.

 

 

The figure walked up on stage as my eyes grew big.

 

I couldn't believe my eyes.

 

I silently gasped and everyone was in shock too.

 

 

Lauren was doing this to me and everyone on purpose. I turned to my right and saw a small grin on Vanessa's face, she was not at all angry about the situation.

 

 

''Oh, please stick a fork in my neck, this isn't happening.'' I whispered.

 

 

Everyone else was calm but some  were shocked with their jaws dropped. The people who recognized who she was, knew what she did to me and this company.

 

And as for the interns, they don't know yet.

 

 

''Yes. Sara Walker is returning with us only for the trip. And as promised like everyone else,...she gets to bring a +1 with her on the trip.'' Lauren said.

 

 

I made a small sound that estimated to the fading gasps behind me.

 

Sara stood next to Lauren smiling. She was dressed nicely and looked fabulous.

 

 

Most people gave looks to her, while I sat in my chair confused.

 

Did they not forget what she did to me?

 

 

I was mad, Laren brought back the one person I didn't want to see in my life ever again.

 

It wasn't fair.

 

All the feelings and scenarios we've been in for the past year, had rushed back.

 

 

It was the uttermost worst feelings ever.

 

 

''Now I know most of you are mad at me, but listen. Without Sara we won't be able to qualify this year. She's our only hope for our future in this magazine company world.'' Lauren stated.

 

 

Everyone had finally agreed after staring sternly at Lauren, but as usual, she convinced everyone it was all right.

 

I was shocked. Sure, me and Sara made amends.

 

But I never expected her to show her face again.

 

 

''Are you really gonna do that.'' I silently said, directed at Lauren

 

Lauren glared at me in the crowd. I quickly tried to hide my angered look. 

 

I couldn't believe this.

 

 

''Unless you have a problem with Sara being our gateway to winning the Annual Magazine Face Off, I suggest you start clapping.'' Lauren yells to the crowd.

 

 

It's silent for a second, I try to make up my mind.

 

I should be happy, but i'm not.

 

 

Everyone slowly started clapping. As I sat there still angry.

 

 

Of course I should be happy. We're going to competition, and I should put this behind me.

 

 

But it just didn't seem right.

 

Sara took away the one thing that meant so much to me, my job.

 

And she's here again.

 

 

I knew that if I start drama right now, I won't have a job here anymore.

 

It's better if I keep myself away from her, for Sara's sake.

 

 

''Sara Walker is joining our team again to continue on and qualify for the trip to Brazil, in 2 weeks we'll have an update for our arrivals and departure from FARELLE. But as for now, if you have a problem with Sara joining us again....''

 

Lauren skimmed the crowd stopping at me, then continuing.

 

''Beware.''

 

 

She left the podium and Sara was left to stare into the crowd.

 

Everyone sent looks straight to her.

 

Others didn't mind and just went back to socializing.

 

 

I didn't get why I was being stared at too.

 

But I forget. It was also my part in getting her fired that upset last year's interns and this year's interns.

 

Which is also why people are mad at me too.

 

 --

 

Ruby didn't even think to look at me at the meeting's end. She left in a hurry with her friends.

 

I just wished that I can make things right with her.

 

 

Marybella rubbed my back as I sighed.

 

''Everything's going to be okay Elle. So Lauren brought back Sara, it doesn't mean she's gonna take over your job.'' she insisted.

 

 

''I can't believe she did that. And she brought back Sara. Did Vanessa have a part in this?'' I complained.

 

 

Everyone else hurries back to their places. I skim through the crowd.

 

I needed to get this heat off my chest.

 

I needed to talk about the hate that I feel right now.

 

 

Part of me shouldn't be mad, I should be happy.

 

Sara's helping us go to the competition.

 

 

But part of me wished she would have left New York and never come back after our last encounter at the movie theater.

 

 

And knowing I can't complain about this to Lauren, or Vanessa...there's another person who I have hope in.

 

 

The only person who I hate to gossip to and communicate with,....Marcus. He's the only one who'll listen to my rant.

 

It's better than anyone else.

 

 

 

I slowly make my way down to the design department. All eyes stared at me as I passed, but I kept walking.

 

I was still somehow in shock at how much FARELLE had changed over the year.

 

Things were going great until Sara entered the picture.

 

Or maybe it's just me.

 

 --

 

''Believe me, i'm just as shocked as you are. But honestly, i'm glad she's back so I can pick on her again."

 

"This isn't bullying hours right now," I complained to him.

 

Marcus briefly laughed.

 

 

"I was getting tired of sending little Ruby on errands without any playful fun.'' Marcus said

 

He covered his smiles. I rubbed my temples.

 

''Okay Marcus, I get it. Ya miss her. But think of what she did to this company and me, she purposely put me in jail.'' 

 

''Well that's not my fault, you're the one who commited the crime.'' Marcus shot back.

 

 

I thin my lips together in response.

 

As I suspected, I knew Marcus would say something about my time serving.

 

 

I paced around his office trying to think, but I couldn't.

 

I didn't believe at first that he had a better work area then I did.

 

 

Spotlights and white furniture. It was bigger than my desk and Sara's desk put together.

 

He even he had a faux fur cushion for his office chair.

 

 

''I have to tell Lauren.'' I finally said.

 

''No, don't do that. You'll upset her.'' Marcus shot up from the other side of his office.

 

He paced over to me quickly.

 

 

''Why not?'' I replied to his reaction.

 

''Because, you'll come off as rude and disrespecful towards competition and you won't work here anymore.'' Marcus said turning to close his door.

 

 

''Whatever, I just think I should have my thoughts on her coming back. '' I replied.

 

 

"No, you need to shut up." Marcus nearly shouted to me.

 

He removed his hand from the shut door.

 

Marcus ran over to me, and puts his hands on my arms taking a deep breath.

 

''Look, I know you're back here offcially. But believe it or not, we need Sara to take our magazine company to the next level. And we need you.'' he implied.

 

 

''You just complimented me.'' I said, starting to smirk.

 

 

Usually, from when we met. He'd torture me about my sense of style.

 

And this is the first time I saw the concern and worry he had for me.

 

He was way more difficult than I thought.

 

 

Marcus rolls his eyes and groans, heading back to his chair.

 

''I only said that because I don't want you to lose your. Or my job for heaven't sake. Especially Vanessa.'' he says.

 

''Well it's worth my choice right?'' I said.

 

 

Marcus turns from his computer to me.

 

"No." he said flatly.

 

The door to his room slides open as a famailiar voice rings in, interuppting me.

 

''Marcus I thought I told you to rephrase the intern's-''

 

 

Vanessa takes a quick glance at me.

 

''Well hello Elle, I thought i'd never see you step foot in this room.'' she says.

 

 

I thought so too.

 

The rival between the writers and design department didn't really change until I started working again. 

 

 

''Well, I needed to talk to Marcus about something.''I replied.

 

''Then you'll talk later. Right now I have an arrangement for Marcus and he needs help with the interns.'' Vanessa says.

 

 

''We need another person to help keep the interns in line. Just you being there isn't working from when i'm there. Who do you think is gonna fill the spot?'' Vanessa says to Marcus.

 

''I'd be willing to help.'' I cut in.

 

 

Marcus gives me a look to cut to the chase and leave.

 

And I decided to explain why.

 

I'm not actually interested in teaching interns, but this help me to get to talk to Ruby again.

 

 

''Really?'' Vanessa says turning to me, interested.

 

''Yes, i'm willing to help Marcus with the interns. Teach them how to complete their job to a commited work force, here in FARELLE. I did a good job with Sara didn't I?'' I suggested.

 

 

Vanessa shifts her eyes to the side and takes a quick glance at Marcus.

 

''Yes,...you did.'' she says turning back to me.

 

''So does that mean I get the job?'' I asked.

 

 

Marcus does a mini prayer with his hands to Vanessa when she turns to him, then a second later he smiles. 

 

Vanessa turns to me, then smirks.

 

 

''You have the job, but this means you'll be working for and with Marcus for the next week before the interns go through their final period.'' she says.

 

 

I smiled excidedly, showing my wide grin. But inside, I was trying to keep my body calm.

 

''Great, when do I start?'' I asked.

 

''Right after this meeting we're going to.'' Vanessa motions to me.

 

 

I follow behind her, as we walk to the smaller conference room made for the workers.

 

 

Marybella, Vanessa and Lauren were in the room.

 

2 other new people were in there too. I didn't recognize them.

 

But i'm pretty sure Lauren had everyone she thinks is important, in here.

 

 

And also,...Sara.

 

 

''Make yourself comfortable, I have coffee ready to calm your nerves. And refreshments.'' Lauren says.

 

 

I take a sip of coffee ready on the table, in front of my chair.

 

''I wanted to address a few things occuring with FARELLE and the trip to the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's in Brazil.'' she starts.

 

The room is silent and Lauren continued.

 

 

''We have 2 new workers joining us for our group here in the Writers and Design department. Eugene and Walt.'' she says.

 

Lauren claps excidedly, none of us follow along until Vanessa throws a look.

 

Then Vanessa stands next to Lauren.

 

 

''As of me and Lauren, being the boss and leader in chief of the Writers and Design departments. We are happy to welcome Eugene to our Design department. And Walt to our writers department.'' she said.

 

 

Everyone gives a round of appluase.

 

 

I was happy for once throughout this day.

 

New people to join the department, this is amazing.

 

 

I'm so excided for Walt to work with me, if Lauren allows it.

 

I hope she does.

 

It's better than working with Sara for the next 2 weeks, only because she's a part of the big trip.

 

 

Lauren talks again.

 

''Walt will be working with,....hmmm, Elle. He will be taking up Sara's spot and work as a writer intern for Elle.'' she says.

 

 

Excitement rushed through my bones. Walt was going to be my intern assistant.

 

This was great. I have somebody I want to teach.

 

 

No offense to Sara, but she was boring. And disappointed me.

 

But that's all behind me now.

 

 

Marybella flashses me a smile from across the table.

 

She knew I was excited.

 

 

''Wait, what about my work? Where am I going to work?'' Sara complained.

 

 

I rolled my eyes for a second.

 

Oh here we go again, I was annoyed by the ring of her voice.

 

But I actually kind of missed her whining.

 

 

''Perfectly fine, we'll have you work with me and assist Walt. You'll be taking up the extended advanced writing trail for your return in your temporary internship.'' Lauren said.

 

''What?'' I suddenly said. 

 

 

Sara was taking new heights coming back, and I was getting a new intern.

 

No hope for me now. If I have to see her communicate with Walt.

 

 

I was really mad now. Why did Lauren do this to me?

 

Why, why now?

 

 

Concern comes over my face. I sat up to talk but I back out.

 

 

''Excuse me, do you have something to say Elle?'' Lauren replied.

 

She had no smile on her face.

 

 

''Nothing.'' I replied, sitting slump in my chair again.

 

But I will have something to say later, if not now.

 

 

''Great then it's settled. Sara will assit Walt in his internship here and Sara will also work on an advanced writing trail with me as her return for these 2 weeks, up until the trip is over and the rest of us will come back to work in August after break.'' Lauren finishes.

 

 

Great! That mean's Sara's going to be with us through these next 2 weeks and throughout the trip.

 

Then she's left off the hook to leave FARELLE.

 

 

''Anyone else?'' Vanessa added.

 

Nobody responded.

 

"No? Then get back to work." she replied.

 

 

I knew a part of her was going to embarass me during this unexpected meeting.

 

But not on my watch. I need to get it together.

 

 

''Then welcome Eugene. Our newest designer to the design department, and Walt our newest writer to the writers department.'' Vanessa said.

 

 

Everyone broke out of their chair, urged to get out.

 

But as soon as Sara passed by me, I gave her a glare.

 

 

She may be here for while, but then she'll be gone before i know it.

 

It's only a few weeks before June and July. Then it's a 'Sara Free Zone' 

 

 

Summer break is mine when she leaves.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki give me encouraging eyes not to ruin this.

 

I nod back in response as the room empties.

 

Vanessa and Lauren are the only ones left in the room.

 

 

I quickly see them exit after us.

 

''Do you have any questions?'' Lauren asks me, smiling.

 

''Yes, it's about Walt. He's perfect and I think i'll do great with him. Taking him on. But it's-'' I start.

 

''Sara you worried about.'' Lauren finshes.

 

 

Lauren motions me to the conference room.

 

We go in quietly.

 

''I knew Elle would eventually bring that up.'' Vanessa said interuppting.

 

 

''Hey, I know my place. It's yours that's the problem. Sara is here," Lauren started.

 

"Why did you bring her back?" Vanessa added.

 

"Don't you remember what she did to me,....us?!'' I shot back.

 

 

''Yes, but we have to learn to forgive and forget.'' Lauren replied calmly.

 

''Have you?'' Vanessa shot back.

 

Lauren gave her a stern face.

 

''I just don't see why you have to bring her back. Couldn't you have Walt be our intern writer to represent for the Magazine Face Off's?'' I suggested.

 

 

Lauren steps closer to me with a look. 

 

I've never seen her this way.

 

Maybe because I haven't unleashed the beast that was inside of her.

 

 

I step back as she comes closer, almost face to face with me.

 

She breathes in, making me flinch.

 

''This competition needs someone with class in writing for a magazine company. And Walt may have experience and may have come fresh out of college, despite you. But even if he does write his first story,...he's not ready.'' Lauren says.

 

 

To even here those words come out of Lauren's mouth, it made me slightly sorry and angry.

 

She had talked about something I never thought would be brought up.

 

Even if Walt finished college, I didn't.

 

 

It felt like her words stabbed me.

 

 

''He will be," I said suddenly.

 

Lauren gives me shocked eyes.

 

"I can make him ready for anything by the time of the trip.'' I replied.

 

''No Elle, you don't understand. Sara had been working here before you left. She has the better experience.'' Lauren said.

 

 

''Sara lied about being interested in writing. She's a private investigator for god's sake. Don't you remember? But Walt can have just as much as experience, as Sara. Trust me I can get him ready before competition.'' I shot back.

 

 

Vanessa approached me, making Lauren move back.

 

She stares deeply into my eyes.

 

''Walt may be a writer, but it's better to fake a previous experienced writer who know's her stuff. Than have a silly offspring, newly slapped on our hands to join us for the trip. Trust me, Walt and Eugene will be coming with us on the trip, but Sara is our choice.'' she says.

 

I try not to answer.

 

"It's good for their resume, to experience this magazine face off, once in a lifetime." she finishes.

 

 

Vanessa walks towards the door leaving me and Lauren behind.

 

I turn back to Lauren with concern and anger in my eyes.

 

 

''Vanessa's right Elle. We can't risk losing the competition to a newly amateur writer, that just joined 2 weeks early before the trip.'' she says.

 

 

I felt tears start to form, I didn't know why.

 

Lauren barely said anything that could ignite something worth crying for.

 

But I just needed to accept the fight and back out to let things roll as it is.

 

 

My world was shifting and I didn't even know it. I worked so hard for FARELLE.

 

I deserve to have my opinion heard, but it didn't.

 

 

Lauren taps her fingers on my shoulder, indicating towards the conference table.

 

''You are just like how I was before Elle. I joined FARELLE, fresh, and ready. Waiting for a sign, a safe haven to start working properly. But this isn't heaven dear. Things have changed, and so have you. So i'm sending you to Ryan at KARL magazine for the time being.'' she says.

 

''What!'' I nearly yelled.

 

''You will be working 3 hours there, every morning. You'll help Ryan with the fabric seams, sewing and any other thing that involves the use of fabric. And you'll learn to write different stories on KARL magazine and learn their history. You'll be doing this before the trip.'' Lauren said.

 

 

This was a death sentence.

 

I didn't respond. I had no words.

 

Lauren had broken the barrier that I tried to bring up.

 

''After your 3 hours of work there, at the same starting time you come here every morning. You come back at FARELLE an hour before lunch time and work with Walt on FARELLE's assigned stories. And do the rest of your job as needed.'' she states.

 

 

''Why are you doing this to me? I brought so much goodness to this company.'' I managed to reply.

 

''Yes and you also let us down. But for now, 5 days before the trip to Brazil we'll call you back to work regularly here and get ready to prepare for the Annual Magazine Face Off. And don't forget to pick your +1, otherwise it'll be Walt with you on the trip.'' she says lastly.

 

 

I slowly walk out of the room with no answer.

 

Lauren had won the fight and I had to suck it up.

 

 

I stormed off back to my reception desk. I wasn't aware that Sara and Walt were talking over her old office desk when I approach them.

 

 

It was hard enough to swallow my pride and just let things flow.

 

But I didn't need them to conversing right now.

 

It's ruining my mood.

 

 

''Stop.'' I said at them.

 

Walt stops talking, as Sara leans back to see me.

 

 

''Why does this have to happen to me now, oh god why now?'' I said tried to whisper.

 

I rub my temples.

 

''Sorry?'' Walt replies.

 

''Think of what you're doing Sara, and setting an example to our new intern.'' I said to her.

 

 

I look at her with concern, trying to hide the fact she's working here.

 

 

''Sorry Ms. Elle.'' Walt silently said.

 

I rubbed the back of my neck trying to calm down.

 

''It's fine, just call me Elle.'' I replied.

 

 

I sighed with my closed my eyes, then opened them again.

 

''And Sara?'' I added.

 

 

Sara looked up startled at me suddenly.

 

She still was the same nervous girl, but this time with more classy looks.

 

 

''We'll be just fine. There's no need to talk with Walt about his internship. I don't want fights over who's better, here."

 

"Duley noted. I wasn't gonna start one. Just making conversation." she replied.

 

 

She makes her way from the desk and leaves.

 

I stop her in her tracks. Holding her arm.

 

I lean in to whisper in her ear.

 

"You may be back just to help us qualify for this trip, but i'm still Walt's boss. If I need you to assist him, you'll assist him.'' I said directly to her.

 

 

My voiced had changed over that previous sentence, there was something new about me. Bound to get people's attention.

 

 

Sara nods her head and walks away to Lauren who passes by. 

 

''I'm seeing improvement Elle, it's all good for now.'' she says.

 

 

Lauren smirks like her usual self and Sara follows behind her. 

 

 

As soon as she disappears, I sit back in my chair adjusting my computer.

 

I hadn't written a blog post in days. And besides, I needed to see how I was doing so far.

 

 

Once I had checked in on stats and numbers, I felt the extreme need to worry about the comments and views, from when my last blog was updated.

 

I could see the comments that people would post.

 

 

I've gotten a few comments that appreciate my work and some hate towards my desicion's in the past.

 

Just even looking at the computer screen with my bare eyes made me feel bad.

 

 

''Alright, Walt? I'll be back, I have to meet someone. In the meanwhile, set up everything you need for your desk.'' I finally said.

 

 

Walt nods his head and gives me a perky smile that wraps around his face.

 

He was cute, for a young intern.

 

 

He had on a college sweater from NYU and kaki pants.

 

I can tell he had no style yet. But it won't be long before he stumbles upon the big closet.

 

 

And just like before, i'm brought back to the glass doors.

 

I exit through it and come across the front desk outside.

 

 

''Elle, we have a newbie.'' said Carrie.

 

 

She's so nice and helpful.

 

We started having conversations before in the past and we casually greet each other sometimes now.

 

 

I turn my eyes to the newbie in front of me.

 

A young girl, standing with a resume in her hand stares at me.

 

 

The familiar look on her makes my stomach turn, she was someone I might have knew from my past.

 

 

Concern rose in my face.

 

I couldn't figure out who it was.

 

 

Was she from my past or someone i've dreamed of?

 

Her sudden apperance got stuck in my head.

 

I knew her.

 

 

And she knew me.

 

But from where?

 

 

Her big eyes stare back at mine, then itt all came back.

 

University.

 

Her inspiring talk with me and everything that happened before I left home in Rosewood.

 

 

I hesitated to say her name.

 

''Ni-....Nicki?''

 

 

''Elle?'' she said, with her eyes widened.

 

''Oh my god Elle, it's so good to see you again.'' Nicki replied.

 

 

''Yeah, I noticed.'' I said looking at her up and down.

 

 

Wow, she had changed so much.

 

 

''What are you doing here?'' I said with a smile on my face.

 

 

There was something about us that clicked and we've been in friends ever since, but we lost connection when I left Rosewood.

 

But seeing her face brought back joy to my heart.

 

 

''I'm just handing in my resume.'' she replied.

 

 

''Well, you shouldn't work here unless you meet me and I give you the tour. There's a lot of great oppertunities here at FARELLE.'' I replied.

 

Nicki turns back to me from looking around.

 

 

''I would really like a tour, everything here is beautiful. The buildings are amazing. I can really see myself working here.'' she replied.

 

''Well great, we'd love to have you here.'' I said.

 

 

I motion for her to follow me.

 

 

Giving the tour was one of the greatest things that I could do for FARELLE.

 

I was always given a chance from Lauren, but I turned it down.

 

 

But since Nicki was here, I felt more happy to do it.

 

She could meet Rikki and Marybella and everybody.

 

 

Nicki is gonna like it here.

 

 

''So here's the main area.'' I said opening the glass doors.

 

 Lauren was with Vanessa near the photoshoot area prepped up.

 

 

''Wow, this is like...amazing.'' Nicki said.

 

 

I was just as excided as she was, when I first worked here, it was awesome.

 

 

''So, do you like what you see?'' I asked.

 

''Yes.'' Nicki smiled, looking at the displays.

 

 

''Look, interns!'' she exclaimed.

 

''Elle!'' a certain voice behind us yelled.

 

 

It was Marcus.

 

I was surprised this time, I didn't groan at the mention of his name.

 

''Elle, I need help on getting the interns into the intern cafeteria for a big announcement. Can you help me?'' he said.

 

''Sure.'' I said.

 

 

''All right interns, please exit to the intern cafeteria. Big announcement, let's move!!'' I yelled.

 

 

All the interns flooded from around the areas, exiting through the glass doors.

 

Marcus mouths thank you on his way to leading the interns down 2 levels.

 

 

I turned back on my heel to Nicki.

 

 

''So, about that tour?'' I asked.

 

''Actually, can it be a breif tour? I actually have a meet up with someone in a few minutes. So maybe a 10 minute tour would fine?''

 

''Ok, I didn't plan on letting you see everything in one day. It would take time hours.'' I exclaimed.

 

 

 

Nicki's face lit up.

 

To see her back in my life after she convinced me to go back to Paris, was refreshing.

 

I really needed a famaliar face.

 

 

This couldn't have my made my day better.

 

My future wouldn't be what it is today without her.

 

 

After the brief tour, we stopped by the glass doors again.

 

 

''I hoped you liked it. Maybe working here would be your calling and we can talk.'' I said.

 

''Yeah, I hope I get the internship here. I really wanna get a job before my next rent it due.'' Nicki replied.

 

''You live here, in New York City?'' I asked happily.

 

 

''Yes, I moved here because of business I needed to take care of. Plus it gave me a chance to see New York and hopefully to find you after your trip in Paris, by the way how was Paris?'' Nicki exclaims.

 

''Great. Paris was amazing. Although there was a mistake in flight tickets, I actually ended up in London where I luckily, met the love of my life. Then things unraveled from there....so my life has been kind of a roller coaster. But things are good now.'' I replied.

 

 

Nicki smiles wide in excitement.

 

"I'm so glad you have someone. I was really hoping that you did someday." Nicki replied.

 

We never really talked about boys back in our dorms in university, but it was always gonna be brought up in the future when our paths collided again anyways.

 

 

''I hope things are okay around here," Nicki sudddenly said.

 

"Why?" I asked concerned.

 

"Cause i've been hearing rumors about the interns talking about you bringing shame to this company. How rude right?'' she replied.

 

I grinned softly.

 

 

''Yeah, everyone's been rude to me since my return to work. If only they knew what it was like to be me.'' I replied.

 

 

''Again, I feel sorry about the rumors. Now, I have to catch my meeting. So i'll see you next time. Maybe we can grab lunch?'' Nicki responds.

 

''Yes, i'll make sure I catch up with you on the streets some time before or after my trip to Brazil. I'm taking it with FARELLE this year.'' I replied, she entered the elevator.

 

 

''Yes, that'll be great. See ya.'' she replied.

 

She pushed the first floor button.

 

The elevator doors close as she smiled one last time before she's gone.

 

 

''Hopefully she won't be upset at me if she knew what I did.'' I quietly whispered.

 

Chapter Six: Westing Games

  

Nicki's P.O.V

 

 

I exited the building to feel the slightly warm summer air coming from outside.

 

It felt good. 

 

I'll probably have a job here at FARELLE, maybe if I get a chance.

 

 

But for now, it would be a good idea to tell Elle about my plan to find my dad.

 

 

And i'm gonna do it soon.

 

 

I walked across the street to central park. Where I can finally get peace.

 

When I walked enough steps over the grass, I saw him standing underneath a tree just close by.

 

 

He was here, and ready to answer my questions.

 

 

I slowly made my way over to him quickly.

 

 

''You got what I want?'' I asked.

 

''Yes, I have it. Your father isn't here anymore, his last dated address was in New York City. I'm sorry.'' he said.

 

 

I sighed, looking away from him.

 

So much for big New York, and my trip to see him again.

 

 

''Is there any type of contact. Name? Identity...is he alive?" I said.

 

The man sighed.

 

"Tell me.'' U replied softly.

 

''I can give you his intials, no name predicted yet. But here's a list for you to think over.'' he said.

 

 

He hands touched the paper with the name's initials on it.

 

 

For so long, i've always known him as dad.

 

But today, I know his intials.

 

My dad.

 

 

I can't figure out anymore things about him, and his family.

 

I've lived with and without mom for so long, and now I have dad to depend on.

 

 

Hopefully he'll want to see me.

 

I'm his daughter.

 

He has to see me at some point.

 

 

Chapter Seven: Alien

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

I was getting tired of being in the sewing room with Ryan keeping eyes on me.

 

I was not even interested in fashion that much.

 

I just liked the oufits and certain fashionable things.

 

 

But Ryan insists on letting me know everything about it.

 

 

The history, the future trends...ugh.

 

I only liked what was in my interest with fashion.

 

 

And his lectures on fabrics were starting to feel like I was in a classroom.

 

  

''So, I want you to....?'' Ryan starts.

 

I finish.

 

''Take out the stich with the seam ripper and re-stich the hem of the patent leather. I know...I know. But what does fashion have to do with writing?'' I replied.

 

''Patience Elle, writing will come to you just like how the stich will come together, to form the pants.'' Ryan said.

 

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

Luckily this was my last day here. The last time I saw Ryan he was very helpful with the halloween bash.

 

 

I smiled at the thought. I imagined what happened with the cops that time.

 

It was pretty cool and funny.

 

 

''Now, I have a gift for you, and his name starts with a J.''

 

''What?'' I said getting up.

 

 

''Jeff.'' he says raising his hands.

 

 

Jeff walks into the room.

 

I cup my mouth from the excitement I felt.

 

''Jeff you're....here.'' I said, getting up from my seat.

 

 

I thought i'd never see him again.

 

 

And he's here.

 

We've never talked much, but I always considered him a great friend.

 

 

''I missed you.'' I said pulling away from the quick embrace.

 

''Well, after I got fired from FARELLE, Ryan found me while I was searching for jobs and got me a spot here at KARL magazine.'' he said, smiling.

 

''Well, good to see you again. I thought i'd never see you here.'' I replied, smiling.

 

 

''It's great to see you doing fine, especially since I heard from KARL magazine you were back in the field again. No details, but....what happened earlier in the year?'' he asked.

 

 

I paused.

 

Was I suppose to tell him or let him guess what happened?

 

 

Everyone here at KARL magazine knows, everyone at FARELLE magazine know.

 

Should Jeff know?

 

 

''I,..um. I actually served jail time.'' I said.

 

 

Jeff's expression droppped.

 

 

I look up feeling embarssed.

 

People have been giving me a rough time since I got out, it hasn't been easy to tell everyone.

 

 

But I think Jeff will handle it.

 

 

''Believe me, I wish I wasn't lying. But, I did get arrested.'' I say.

 

''So you were like in jail, like prison?'' he said.

 

''Yep, I was.'' I said.

 

 

Jeff slowly pulls me in for a hug again, tightly.

 

He knew how I felt.

 

At least I thought.

 

 

''I'm so sorry to hear that. You must be under a lot of pressure to be here. And for Lauren to put you down here, I think she's building up your confidence to work harder and better than before.'' Jeff implied.

 

''Really?'' I said pulling back from Jeff.

 

 

''I think the whole reason why she's doing this is to get you back to your normal self. By making you work harder to get your job back.'' Jeff responds.

 

 

I didn't think of that. Maybe because my ego got in the way.

 

I had thought that everyone wanted me gone, but it hadn't occured to me much about the intention.

 

Maybe Jeff was coming on to something.

 

 

Maybe Lauren put me at KARL magazine to learn from last year's mistakes.

 

 

Lauren did this because she cared, and I didn't think to notice at first.

 

I just thought she was denying my ideas and thoughts on things.

 

 

I should be thanking her, not pushing her out because of it.

 

God, sometimes she could be a bitch, but thank you Lauren.

 

 

''I think you're right.'' I replied.

 

''Awww, what a beautiful moment....now back to work!'' Ryan said abruptly.

 

He slaps his hands together lastly.

 

 

I go back to my desk, signalling Jeff to talk later.

 

--

  

''So let me get this straight, you were stuck in the restroom for 1 hour trying to hide from your boss. Only to get promoted later that day. And you made a mistake for nothing?'' I said.

 

''Yep, worst day ever. And thank you for listening.'' Jeff replied.

 

''Any time, don't forget that i'll be visiting you from now on at KARL magazine.'' I replied with a smile.

 

''Of course.'' Jeff says, pulling me in for a hug.

 

 

Me and Jeff walk off towards the writers and design department, and as small silence grew.

 

I could tell everything felt right again.

 

 

A little love from Lauren was mistaken as a rude illusion to me. 

 

I was just glad I had Jeff back, I missed him so much.

 

 

As we step off of the elevator, me and Jeff walk our way nearing my work environment.

 

I could see in the corner of my eye that Jeff missed this place.

 

 

I smiled as my lasting thoughts are interuppted by my words.

 

 

''Well this is me.'' I said pointing to the glass doors.

 

''Well then, goodbye. I guess i'll see you around.'' Jeff said.

 

 

He smile overtakes his face and I return a grin.

 

 

He gives a small wave before leaving. I watch him exit to the elevators before I turn back to the glass doors.

 

There was something about seeing him back in FARELLE that lifted up my soul up.

 

 

A part of me wished he worked here again, but things happen. 

 

 

I pushed the thought aside and entered through the glass doors.

 

I looked to my left, to see Sara helping Walt with an assignment.

 

Lauren approaches me.

 

 

''Ah, Elle. You're back, I hope you had fun wiith Ryan at KARL magazine. And a little surprise from Jeff.'' she exclaims.

 

 "You did suprise me with Jeff." I said to her.

 

''You went to KARL magazine!!'' Walt shouted. 

 

Me and Lauren's attention was brought to him.

 

 

He brushed off his last words and went back to talking with Sara. 

 

Lauren turns back to me.

 

''Anyways, like I promised, you're no longer working with Ryan and can come back here again. No more early morning sewing skills.'' she responds.

 

 

''Oh thank god.'' I said with relief.

 

''Yes, now you really have to get to work. The brazil trip is coming up fast, I want you to right a story on how the experience it going to be for our company.'' Lauren said.

 

''I'll get right on it.'' I said with a huge grin.

 

  

It took long enough for people to gain my trust again and now it's worth it.

 

 

But before Lauren left, I called her name.

 

 

''Lauren...I wanna say thank you for everything. Giving me the chance to come back and work here. You don't know how pleased I am to have you believe in me.'' I said.

 

Lauren rushes over to me.

 

''In all ir's worth Elle. I will always believe in you. I only made you do the morning internship at KARL magazine with Ryan to teach you to believe in yourself and if you can put up with any assignment with back tracking rumors, you can do anything again.'' she says.

 

Lauren gives one last smile before she walks back to her office.

 

 

''Elle, guess what, guess what. Guess what!'' Rikki said distracting me with her notebook.

 

''What?'' I said excidedly.

 

 

''I'm going on a retreat.'' Rikki smiles widely.

 

 

My face slightly dropped.

 

This was a great....but also a disaster. I'm happy for Rikki.

 

But I planned a girls night in for us including Marybella just this week.

 

 

I faked smiled.

 

''Great, when are you leaving?'' I asked.

 

''Today, i'll be back before next week in time for the big Brazil trip coming up.'' Rikki said.

 

''Wow, great. I'll see you then.'' I say.

 

 

''I know since I divorced Jason, i've really been on and off. Things have been wild and freeing of course, you know, no more commitment. So I thought why don't I relax before we go on this big stress trip to Brazil for the Annual Magazine Company Face Off.'' she said excidedly.

 

''Well, I could use that. But I actually kinda planned for us to have a girls night in this weekend before the trip, and you're leaving.'' I said.

 

''No, we can still have girls night in. On our trip tp Brazil, we'll have plenty of long hour breaks before competition time. So we'll have girls night in then.'' Rikki replied sounding happy.

 

 

''It's so nice to see you happy again. With Jason you were-'' I started

 

''Upset? I know but i'm over it now. I've found my new calling to be free and experience everything.'' Rikki replied.

 

''Well, i'm happy for you Rikki. Really I am.'' I replied.

 

 

''Great, i'll see you later.'' Rikki says running off.

 

 

I walk over to where Walt and Sara are talking over an assignent.

 

''So what are you guys doing?'' I asked leaning on the desk.

 

''Oh, i'm just explaining to Walt about his story needed for the hot topics column on the next magazine cover.'' Sara replied.

 

''Well that's good, if you need any help just tell me. I'm here.'' I said.

 

 

I turn to my desk feeling anticpated for Walt to call me.

 

 

We haven't talked since when I introduced him to his desk.

 

I mean all we ever said to each other is.

 

''Hmm...'' ''No comment.'' ''No thank you.'' ''Bye.''

 

 

I was really looking forward to the conversations.

 

But when Lauren and Vanessa said Sara was going to help Walt, I knew the talking between us would go down hill.

 

 

''Um actually Elle, I need your help for something.'' Walt says, as he grabs my attention.

 

I turn to him coming from my desk.

 

''Yes?''

 

 

''Can you tell me what it's like to be a writer here in FARELLE?''

 

I smiled, and looked over to Sara.

 

She must have told him about the requests and errands I put on her from her internship.

 

 

''Walk with me.'' I said.

 

 

Walt stands up, which was unusual to me.

 

Whenever I see him, he's always sitting down.

 

 

And he's quite tall.

 

 

''We'll be back in 15 minutes. With a story.'' I said towards Sara.

 

She nods her head. 

 

 

''Ready to go?'' I say to Walt.

 

''Yes.'' he said.

 

 --

 

''So how was your job, the first time you had it?'' Walt asks.

 

''It was simple, nothing too complicated. Until Lauren gave me the title to be Writer and Editor of FARELLE magazine later on. A big commitment.'' I replied.

 

''So do you think i'll be a good writer?'' Walt says.

 

 

I look up at him with my eyes staring back into his.

 

''Yes, I believe you're going to be a great writer. Just look at me. I still hold the title for Writer and Editor of FARELLE magazine.'' I said.

 

 

We walk a couple yards coming to a crosswalk.

 

 

''Walt are you familar with AP Writing?'' I asked as we crossed the street.

 

''Yes, i've taken several classes in the past.'' he responds.

 

 

''And did you graduate?'' I said, as we reached the starbucks entrance.

 

''Yes. With flying colors.'' he replied.

 

''Good, because I never graduated. And for a young writer like you to complete college is a good thing, even now. I may have got into FARELLE because I wanted to be a writer, but you're different, and I like that.'' I said.

 

 

Walt smiles to me then looks down as his notes. He wrote in as we talked from exiting FARELLE.

 

I looked at him, as he wrote down my words.

 

''Keep writing Walt, we need someone like you at FARELLE.'' I said back.

 

 

 

After we got coffee, we started our way back to FARELLE.

 

Walt kept asking questions and I answered.

 

I had to admit. It was kind of nice to have an actual writer question me on real things about writing that I barely remember.

 

Or learned in college.

 

 

''So how do you like FARELLE so far, is it good? Comfortable? Do you feel at home?'' I ask.

 

''Yes, I definitely see myself working for FARELLE in the future. But can you tell me about your first cover story?'' he asks.

 

  

''Yes, I remember going to a party and interviewing Marybella, my best friend. I somehow later convinced her to come work for FARELLE and we been close since.'' I said.

 

''Wow. I wish I had that type of connection with the interns here. All of them are girls, and they ignore me since I work for you.'' Walt says.

 

 

He's quiet for a second as we continued to walk.

 

I sip on my coffee in silence.

 

 

Those stupid interns don't know do they?

 

But although I was a kind of an intern to Lauren, I felt what Walt was feeling.

 

 

''Well you have Ruby, I know her from last year. But since I got back to working at FARELLE,... she's kind of ignoring me.'' I finally respond.

 

Silence came over the conversation.

 

Walt tried to start up it up again.

 

 

''I can talk to Ruby for you, she's really nice. But why is she avoiding you?'' he asked.

 

''Well I did a big favor for her. I got her into FARELLE last year and then she started ignoring me when I started working again these past few weeks.'' I replied.

 

''What happened before you started working again, at FARELLE?'' Walk asked.

 

 

''I had just gotten out of jail, that's part of the reason why I still have a problem with Sara working at FARELLE, but i've learned to just let it go now.'' I respond.

 

 

''You and Sara have beef?'' Walt said surprised.

 

''We kind of did before, I got her arrested and then she arrested me for real. Turned out she was a private investigator working as a writer undercover at FARELLE, then she put me in jail for a good solid 1 year.'' I said.

 

 

''Wow, a whole year of jail. What did you do? And Sara got you arrested? That explains why you throw so much shade at her. And why interns rumor about your return to FARELLE.'' Walk exclaims.

 

 

I was stunned, he figured all of that out in one answer.

 

This kid was quick.

 

''You just explained last year and these past few weeks for me in 20 minutes.'' I replied looking at him.

 

 

''Well, i've been through rough drama and I can sense the tension when someone says something that doesn't add up, right then and there I have to put the pieces together.'' he responds.

 

 

I give him a surprising look.

 

He was really smart for an intern assistant this year.

 

 

''Are you psychic?'' I asked.

 

''No. I just have something to say.'' he replied.

 

 

Suddenly my phone rang, I picked up on the first ring.

 

''Hello?'' I answered.

 

''Elle, it's me Marybella. I need help with Taylor, she's driving me crazy. I know it's my day off but can you pick her up from my house and take her out... just till I can put things together?'' she said.

 

''Sure, i'll be there.'' I said.

 

 

I closed my phone and turned to Walt.

 

''Walt  do you wanna come with or go back to work and miss out on this fascinating story I got." I say.

 

"Story?" he asks.

 

"We're taking a delay, we're going to Marybella's house. She's got a problem with her kid.'' I stated.

 

 

''Wow, I actually get to see the famous Marybella's house. I need to take pictures.'' Walt said taking out his phone.

 

"No pictures." I respond.

 

''Ok, where do we go?'' he said.

 

''This way.'' I said in return.

 

 

We take a taxi and walk up to her house, with the bad traffic this time of day there's no use to waste time.

 

 --

 

I could tell Marybella was under a lot of stress since she adopted Taylor.

 

Even the way she sounded when she called earlier was off.

 

 

I turned to Walt who's still taking pictures. Every second we'd walk i'd hear his phone click.

 

''Walt no recording or pictures, this is my private life. And don't put the pictures on social media. We don't want to give Marybella paparazzi.'' I said to him.

 

 

Walt's face dropped sadly and cute, but he puts his phone away.

 

I turn the knob to walk into a mess on the ground.

 

Toys everywhere and ringlets on the chandiler above.

 

 

''Wow, Bella had it coming.'' I said aloud.

 

 

Walt looks around unfamiliar with the surburb side of New York.

 

Marybella didn't live in the richest part of New York, but a pretty formal rich street.

 

''Marybella!'' I yelled.

 

 

I heard Taylor's voice screech as she ran past me.

 

Marybella was on the couch, she looked exhausted. More tired then her usual self.

 

  

Her eyes shift to mine. Her usual smile returns as she tries to get up.

 

Bella walks over to me and she stumbles on her step, she grabs onto me as she speaks.

 

 

''Elle, thank god, you need to take Taylor now.'' she said shaking me.

 

''Okay, where is she?'' I replied.

 

 

Bella turns to the living room. She stops slouching her back, then straightens up and groans.

 

Taylor was on the couch trying to rip the cushions off.

 

 

For a little somewhat 5 year old kid, she was pretty energetic.

 

 

''Please take her to the park for at least an hour or 2, just till I get cleaned up.'' Bella begged.

 

I nod my head and agree. I hope Taylor doesn't act this crazy around me.

 

 

''God this house is a mess, and you wanted kids?'' I say.

 

 

She puts her hand together pleading that i'd 'take her daughter.'

 

And sure enough, I couldn't fight with her.

 

 

''Come on Taylor, Aunt Elle's here.'' I said in my happy voice.

 

She squeals and runs across the living room to give me a hug.

 

 

''See you in an hour Bella, an hour.'' I said before then carrying Taylor off.

 

''Thank you Elle, I don't what I'd do without you.'' she replied.

 

 

''That's what friends are for, at least.'' I replied.

 

I grab taylor's sweater as she grabs onto me.

 

 

Walt follows behind giving a smirk to Marybella as she waves goodbye.

 

 

''Bye Taylor, see you back soon.'' Bella said.

 

 

Bella waved goodbye to us with one hand and the other on her forehead.

 

The tiredness in her voice clearly showed.

 

She was out of breath and tired.

 

 

 

''Alright Taylor, let's go to McDonalds. Then we can go to the park to eat lunch.'' I said.

 

''What about lunch for us?'' Walt asked.

 

 

I sighed. ''You order somethng for us.''

 

 

Taylor was silent as we went to the park.

 

Hopefully she'll get tired when we reach it.

 

 

 

After work was done and over with, I walked down to the FARELLE parking lot.

 

I heard a voice call me.

 

I ignored it at first, then listened.

 

 

Walt comes from the distance holding my laptop.

 

I guess I must have been so stressed that I forgot about taking it with me.

 

 

I smiled as Walt got closer.

 

 

''Thanks, I could have noticed it was gone by the time I got home.'' I said.

 

''No problem.'' he replied.

 

 

I took the laptop from his hand.

 

''Hey?'' Walt interuppted.

 

I turned around one more time. ''Yes?''

 

 

''Do you think i'll be a good writer in the future?'' he asks.

 

''Yes, look at me. I'm still working here and I will continue to be a writer forever.'' I replied.

 

 

Walt smiles as he heads back up inside the building.

 

 

I turn back to my car and get in.

 

 

The drive home was smooth.

 

I can't remember the last time I rode my car up and down Manhattan, to and from work.

  

 

I hope the week for when we leave for the big trip to Brazil, i'm ready for an escape and a break.

 

Even getting back into work tires me out.

 

 

I haven't had a vacation since, Paris.

 

It just seemed like last year was just yesterday.

 

 

My eyes dart towards my house as the car comes to a slow stop in the driveway.

 

The tires stop as I place it into park.

 

 

I sighed for a second throwing my head back into the seat.

 

There's no hope for me to forget about last year.

 

But I can try.

 

 

Chapter Eight: Holiday In The Sun

 

  

Everyone was bustling to get their things together.

 

I watched from my desk looking left to right.

 

 

Today was the big day for when we get to go to Brazil.

 

I promised myself that i'd go visit Carla in Venezuela when I got the chance.

 

 

Hopefully i'll get to see her 'probably' 2 year old child now. It's been a while since we've talked or visted each other.

 

I missed her.

 

 

Rikki rushes in as my thoughts disappear.

 

''Sorry, I had last minute packing.'' she says.

 

 

She breaths in heavily. I watch her as I exit my reception desk.

 

I was dressed up in a jewel tone blouse with jean shorts.

 

 

Since it's gonna be hot, even in south america, I dressed for the weather.

 

 

''I'm so excited to bask in the sun.'' Rikki finally says.

 

''I'm so excited, I finally get to see the bright sun.'' Marybella says coming towards us.

 

 

She's dressed in an cute outfit, of course in pink.

 

But she wore 1 inch high heels instead her usual 3 inch.

 

 

 

''Alright everyone, trip to Brazil in 3 hours. If you have something you need to do it within these 3 hours before we departure, go. Move!'' Lauren annouced.

 

 

Great timing, this means I can check up on Jacob to see if he's done packing at home.

 

I reached for my bag, when I was pulled back.

 

 

Marybella stopped me.

 

''Elle, can you help me take Taylor to my aunt's house in long island. I promise it'll be under an hour.'' she says.

 

 

I looked to the time on my watch then to her. I couldn't just leave her behind for my plus one.

 

Especially if it's for Taylor.

 

 

''Sure, but then after, I have to get Jacob.'' I replied.

 

''I promise you will.'' Marybella said.

 

 

She grabs her big purse as I walk with her out into the FARELLE parking lot.

 

I quickly get in withoit intention of wasting time, even Marybella.

 

 

And she wasn't kidding when she told me about the whole 1 hour trip up, her aunt must live far away.

 

I was feeling anxious every minute that passed.

 

 

Jacob was gonna have to get a ride up to FARELLE, but hopefully he makes it instead of being in traffic.

 

This is why I wanted to drive him there.

 

No time to waste but own now, my time is almost gone.

 

 

''Okay, let's take a right here.'' Marybella said.

 

 

I pulled up into a driveway, the area looked friendly but dead.

 

No wonder people don't move up here much.

 

 

''I'll be back in 2 minutes.'' Marybella said getting out with Taylor, then taking her bags.

 

 

I watch Marybella take Taylor to the doorsteps, then she hesitates to knock the door.

 

I didn't have the time to waste.

 

I need to get back to my house before the last hour is up and we fly off.

 

 

I got out angry, as Marybella turned to me nervously.

 

I'm not gonna do this and let time fly by.

 

This trip means everything to me.

 

 

''Marybella we're suppose to leave, like right now.'' I said stomping up to her.

 

''I,...I got nervous.'' she replied looking to the door.

 

 

Taylor tugged on Marybella's jeans.

 

''Inside.'' Taylor said. 

 

''Yes, honey I know.'' Marybella turned to me.

 

 

I gave Bella a look as she tries to remain calm. I couldn't just push her to face her fear of letting Taylor go.

 

But I had to be responsible in my actions.

 

 

''I'm afraid about what she might say. I haven't seen her in so long, what if she agrees with my father about going back to Russia when I bring something up.'' Marybella starts.

 

 

I shook my head at Marybella to get the time wasting anger out of me.

 

''Who cares, just drop off your daugther. You did call your aunt and tell her you were dropping her off right?'' I replied.

 

''Yeah.'' she responds.

 

 

''So why are you afriad to knock, come on were wasting time. I need to get Jacob.'' I protested looking to my watch.

 

''Okay, i'm doing this for Jacob.'' Marybella says.

 

 

Marybella turns with confidence and knocks the door.

 

Her aunt answers the door, Marybella hesitates again.

 

 

I roll my eyes in response. This was time consuming.

 

''You are here to drop off Taylor?'' Bella's aunt says.

 

Marybella stutters. ''Uh,....I.''

 

 

I grew tired and huffed at Marybella's answer.

 

''Yes, here's your niece. We'll see you in a week or so, bye.'' I said pushing Taylor in.

 

 

 

I grab Bella's hand as we rush back into my car.

 

Soon as we had our searbelts on, I press on the gas pedal speeding up the street. 

 

I start booking it as soon as we reached the highway.

 

 

We finally reach my neighborhood after the long drive. I park into the driveway and I quickly get out as Marybella stays in the car.

 

I unlocked the door fast, shouting to see if Jaocb was still here.

 

 

''Jacob!!'' I yelled anxious for an answer.

 

 

When I didn't hear an answer, I took it as sign he was not here.

 

I barged into our bedroom and saw that all of his suitcases were gone.

 

Maybe he went up to FARELLE.

 

Or got stuck in traffic on the way up.

 

 

I groaned and rushed back downstairs locking the door behind me.

 

Marybella looks out the window worried for me, I didn't answer.

 

 

Instead, I push on the gas pedal again.

 

And even after the quick turns out of my neighborhood, my fast driving was stopped by the slow traffic on the highway up to FARELLE.

 

I beeped my car horn waiting for a heavenly sign to come up.

 

 

Nothing so far.

 

Marybella sat in the passenger seat quiet. I didn't mean to make her upset from earlier but I really wanted to get Jacob to FARELLE so my last minute work is done for the trip.

 

 Finally, I filled the silence between us.

 

 

''Marybella i'm sorry I crushed your family reunion, but Jacob means a lot to me since i've been back. So, sorry.'' I said.

 

Marybella slides me a look.

 

''You didn't even get to let me say goodbye to Taylor.'' she replied softly.

 

 

It was my fault, I had ruined Bella's last chance to say bye to her child.

 

And all because I care about myself more than others, even outside of work.

 

 

''Sorry, I was just anxious to get Jacob up here. You know how much we've been through over the years, right?'' I respond.

 

 

''Okay, we know Elle. Everyone knows how much trouble you've been through, but what about us? We have lives!'' Bella shot back.

 

She huffs back into the passenger seat with crossed arms, as I kept my eyes on the road.

 

 

She was right. I was too busy thinking about myself since i've been back home.

 

I hadn't even thought about the awful things that happened to all of us in the past.

 

 

Me and my big ego.

 

I turn back to her to see if she's calmed down.

 

 

Marybella smirks a little, a little smile that went a long way for me.

 

I was glad at least I got her in a good mood after the outburst.

 

 

''It's okay, I understand. You need Jacob with you, I understand.'' Marybella said.

 

''Okay, no need to extend the apology. I know you're okay with it. But we need to get back to FARELLE quickly.'' I replied.

 

 

My phone beeped as I turned to the crowded traffic, I ignored it as it went to voicemail.

 

The traffic slowly starting moving again.

 

 

''Finally.'' I said speeding up the highway going faster.

 

  

We enter the alley way as I grew anticipated for Jacob to please be there at FARELLE.

 

Me and Marbella enter through the glass doors to see everyone bustling around to get their suitcases with their baggage group.

 

 

"Elle i've been calling you for a long time, I even texted you." I Jacob say.

 

"Jacob was here.'' Rikki said coming into sight.

 

''He's here.'' I said grabbing her shirt.

 

''Yes and calm down.'' she replied.

 

 

I was glad he was here, now I can relax.

 

I hug him really tightly.

 

Even if he hadn't gone on the trip with me, I would probably still want to see him one last time.

 

 

''I'm so glad you're here.'' I said kissing him on the cheek.

 

He smiles back with relief. 

 

 

''I had to take Marybella and Taylor to her aunt's, in upper New York. It took 2 hours just to get back. But now you're here.'' I said.

 

 

Jacob shush's me as I let out the breath i've been holding.

 

''I'm here, by the time I arrived Rikki told me you guys had already left. And besides, I wanted to surprise you, but then traffic got announced. Now all we have to do is get on the plane and fly to Brazil.'' he says.

 

 

I smile in return. I was finally gonna go to Brazil.

 

With my boyfriend.

 

 

''And for 3 years, we've never been somewhere together since Paris.'' I said.

 

''Well now we have a new memory to gain together.'' Jacob says.

 

"Oh, stop being so lovey dovey guys." Rikki interuppts.

 

 

Jacov kisses my hand as Lauren grabs our attention again.

 

 

''Can we have everyone please listen, only 20 minutes remaining. Feel free to get something from the cafeteria to eat before we get on the plane.'' she says.

 

Lauren looks at her watch.

 

''19 minutes now, check your bags and purses. Get something to eat, close your office doors. Any type of last minute thing, do it now!'' she shouts.

 

 

Everyone rushes out the doors and into their office.

 

I walk with Jacob to the café to grab a  snack to take on the road.

 

 

I was exicted for the first time since last year. I'm going somewhere, and it's work related.

 

I can't wait to swim and relax and get writing done for this competition.

 

 

It's gonna be competitive this year, but i'm willing to do this.

 

Even if Sara had to come along.

 

 

''Which one are you getting?'' I asked Jacob.

 

''I'll be choosing the junk food one.'' Jacob says, taking the plastic package filled with cookies and chips.

 

 

''Excuse me.'' says someone from behind.

 

I move Jacob aside to see who it was.

 

 

''Sorry, we were just.....'' I start, then look up to see Sara. 

 

 

Her eyes glare back at mine. Silence fell between us.

 

We hadn't had a full conversation since that day me and Jacob went to the movie theater.

 

 

Even telling Jacob was a problem, he knows I hate her.

 

But I want to be nice for once. She was taking FARELLE to competition in Brazil.

 

 

''We...were just leaving.'' I said grabbing Jacob's hand.

 

We quickly shuffle out of the café to the warm colorful gardens outside.

 

 

''What was that moment awkwatd between you two or?'' Jacob asks stopping me.

 

''Nothing, it just takes time to get used to seeing her around here again.'' iIreplied.

 

 

''Seriously, she's still working here and going on the trip?'' Jacob asks.

 

''Yes, she's our gateway to success in competition. So deal with it, she's only coming with us to qualify.'' I replied turning back to him.

 

 

I pull him faster towards the writers and design department, as we approach the building.

 

 

Everyone hurries back all out of breath. I stand near my reception desk searching for Marybella and Rikki in the crowd.

 

''Okay everyone, were leaving in 10 minutes to the airport. Everyone put your bags with your baggage group. Group #1: The Chief and Bosses, Group #2: The Assitants, Editors and Managers, Group #3: The Interns. And group #4 the +1's.'' says Lauren.

 

 

Everyone moved to their baggage station, group #2 was me, Marybella, Rikki, Marcus and Sara.

 

While interns fought over whose's suitcases went first.

 

 

I helped Marybella with most of her stuff to group #2, after I put my stuff down.

 

 

Large, strong men came in to grab our luggage from the stations layed out on the floor.

 

One by one, suitcases were lifted and put in the luggage trucks Lauren ordered.

 

 

''I'm so excited to go, plus I have a big suprise on who's my +1.'' Rikki says turning to me.

 

''I thought you weren't gonna bring one?'' I replied.

 

 

''Well that's the surprise, you'll have to find out when we get there.'' Rikki said smiling.

 

''Maybe it's her imaginary +1.'' Marybella says.

 

 

I snicker along as Rikki scoffs to both of us.

 

''He is real, and I will prove it.'' Rikki replies.

 

''Oh, he? Yes you will.'' I shot back.

 

 

 

''OKAY EVERYONE!!'' Vanessa shouts.

 

''Everyone from groups 1 through 4, outside! Your rides are waiting, and as for the interns you'll be riding in aiport vans. Since we couldn't get you better service rides.'' Vanessa says.

 

''Alright you heard the boss, let's move, move!!'' Lauren joins in.

 

 

Everyone shoots down through the glass doors. I hold on to Jacob's hand.

 

 

We pass by the parking lot, standing on the sidewalk near the streets. Everyone questions which ride to get in, I pass by a few people with Jacob still trailing behind me.

 

 

I gasp as the rides that are numbered shows up for us.

 

We got to ride in limos.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki exchanged shocked looks.

 

Others gasp too. I couldn't believe this was happening, I get to ride in a limo to the airport.

 

What a dream.

 

 

I quickly get in, unable to control my excitement. Jacob follows along with Marybella and Rikki.

 

They all oooohh and ahh when they see the inside.

 

 

A small tv turns, on annoucing our departure from the driver up front. 

 

''Please be seated, we'll be heading off in 3 minutes.'' says the driver.

 

 

I roll down the window next to me as I pop my head out.

 

The blistering sun  in New York hits my face.

 

And an amazing feeling it is.

 

 

''You guys, we get to ride in limos.'' Rikki said looking back and forth to everyone.

 

''I haven't rode in a limo since last year.'' Marybella says excited.

 

 

Rikki presses a button above her that opens the top overhead.

 

All of us awe in amazement.

 

 

I turn to Jacob who's searching the view beside the others. Marybella and Rikki were sitting on the same seat to the left near the door.

 

Me and Jacob had the back seat to ourselves.

 

Other employees join in after a minute.

 

 

''This is amazing. I get a vacation off my job to be on vacation.'' Jacob says turning to me.

 

 

The crowd behind yells and shouts in excitement. All the other employees get into their rides, leaving for the airport.

 

 

We were offcially off, the limo moves behind Lauren's limo.

 

I shot my head up in the open top.''Brazil!'' I yell.

 

Music starts blaring out of the limo as I stuck my head back down to everyone is jamming, I join.

 

--

 

''First class seats.'' Jacob said entering into plane.

 

 

Rikki comes in shocked from the other seats.

 

''Woah, I was not expectating to be fly first class. I thought we were coach.'' she says.

 

 

''As if, Lauren and Vanessa are probably coach.'' I replied setting my stuff down.

 

 

Marybella pushes Rikki aside to see me.

 

Rikki opens her mouth in awe.

 

 

The pilot speaks.

 

''Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. We'll be taking off shortly, please find your seats and pay attention to the directions given from our lovely flight attendents.''

 

 

I sit down comfortably.

 

Flying first class must mean everything to rich people.

 

I've never seen this part of first class before since me, my mom and my dad moved to Paris.

 

 

No.

 

The thought came up again. Dad wasn't here.

 

Mom wasn't here either.

 

 

 

''Everything okay?'' Jacob says.

 

I snap back into reality.

 

''Yeah, just having thoughts.'' I replied.

 

''About what?'' he puts his hand on mine in reassurence.

 

''Just thinking about how we missed going to Brazil last year.'' I said.

 

 

I lied, I didn't want to say why.

 

I've had enough of complaining about my life, it's time I just forget it.

 

 

I knew if I had told him about my step dad and my thoughts from before, things wouldn't seem normal for the rest of the trip.

 

I'll just keep it to myself for now.

 

 

''Well last year was just a mindless blur. I'm here.'' he says.

 

He holds my hand, then kisses it.

 

''I know.'' I reply with a smile.

 

 

''Isn't this cool!?'' Rikki says interuppting the silence between us.

 

''Yes it is, so cool.'' I reply looking back.

 

 

Rikki settles down in the seat behind mine.

 

Marybella sits in the middle seats parted by aisles. 

 

 

''So how's first class again Marybella?'' I asked.

 

Marybella turns to me and smiles. ''Great-''

 

''And even greater cause i'm here.'' says another soft deep voice.

 

 

Mark stands next to Marybella's seat.

 

She shot up to give him a hug.

 

 

''I almost forgot to get here on time. Luckily I got in before they shut the doors.'' he replies.

 

''I'm glad my +1 is here.'' Marybella said leaning in to kiss Mark.

 

 

Rikki turns away from them, as I sneak her a smile. 

 

 

''Alright everyone, do you have your +1's?'' Lauren says coming in from the class ahead of ours.

 

 

''Yes!'' everyone yells.

 

''Alright then, Brazil here we come.'' she says, before heading back to her seat.

 

 

Everyone cheers as the flight attendents head up front to the plane.

 

I take in a deep breath as the intercom comes on.

 

 

''Hello everyone, this is your flight attendent speaking. We'll be taking off, non-stop to Brazil, South America.''

 

Everyone cheers again.

 

I lift my head up to the window on my right.

 

Brazil, finally.

 

 

The plane begins takes off as I continue to stare into the window beside my seat.

 

The ground seemed so small as we went up.

   

--

 

I wake Jacob up, he was sleeping next to me.

 

He clears his throat then turns to me.

 

"What?" he says softly.

 

''Look Jacob,...we're here.'' I said looking into the window.

 

 

The lights lit up as the busy streets were bustling with people.

 

Brazil was even more beautiful than I thought.

 

 

''Good morning, or should I say good night. Welcome to Rio, the biggest and most popular place here in Brazil. Be sure to pay attention to futhur instructions, we'll be landing here in 15 minutes.'' says the flight attendent.

 

 

The flight attendent leaves from the speaker as I sit back comfortably.

 

I look into the window again seeing into the lives moving around down there.

 

 

I never knew Brazil would be an amazing place to visit during vacation.

 

 

The cool air of the airport hits me, as I rustle through my backpack for a light sweater.

 

Everyone moves into the airport waiting for Lauren's commands.

 

She pushes past the employees to stand in front of us.

 

 

''Alright everyone, I get that you're tired or may have jet lag. But now we have to take the bus ride to our hotel only 12 miles away. So let's exit, it's outside waiting for us.'' Lauren says quietly.

 

 

Everyone moves into a huddle because of the cold air in the airport.

 

I turn around to see Marybella and Mark arm in arm.

 

Rikki huddles beside me to keep warm.

 

 

I told her earlier how airports can be cold sometimes. Despite the graphic white tee and jean shorts, with sneakers she's wearing.

 

I was a little more colder.

 

 

I changed my clothes on the plane to a pastel mint green dress and sandles. The dress hem ended just before the start of my knees.

 

I wish i'd worn shorts under, but that's too late now.

 

 

Finally we all reach the outside of the airport. The warm outside makes us sigh in relief.

 

I take off my sweater as I look up the lights surrounding the airport.

 

 

We get on the bus and chug our way through the streets, and the busy streets somehow reminded me of New York so much.

 

--

 

 

''Alright everyone, you'll have your luggage given to you by the time you get settled into your rooms.'' Lauren announces

 

 

I went in quick into the hotel to get our room keys. Jacob stayed behind me.

 

We all look in awe of the materpiece design of the hotel.

 

 

The hotel we were staying in had a colorful glass design above us.

 

It was utterly beautiful. Brazil was spoiling us.

 

 

''Welcome to the Partizian Hotel, how may we help you?'' says a receptionist behind the lobby desk.

 

 

He grabs my attention before the others, and I stare at the amazing beauty that is their face.

 

The people here had very attractive faces.

 

 

''Yes, we are signing in under a reserved name.'' I replied.

 

''Which name?''

 

''Woods.'' I said.

 

''I have here a reservation for a Ms. Elle Woods and a Jacob?''

 

''Yes.'' Jacob replies, finally joining me.

 

 

The receptionist types something into the computer.

 

Finally he smiles after finishing.

 

 

''Here are you keys, Mr. and Mrs. Woods.''

 

''Oh no, we're not married.'' I quickly reply.

 

 

The receptionist smiles in politness, then glares at me.

 

I turn to Jacob who's now leaning into me.

 

''We'll just go to our rooms.'' he says pulling me into that direction.

 

 

I failed to mention we were together, but it can happen to anyone.

 

Right?

 

 

I stop Jacob before entering the elevator to go up.

 

''Sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem like we were not together. In front of the receptionist. I-'' i start.

 

''No it's fine, he doesn't know about us. It's none of their business.'' he smiles.

 

''Right.'' I said silently.

 

  

I follow behind Jacob as he held onto the key for our room.

 

It took a minute before we found our room. Only 10 doors down from the nearest elevator. 

 

''Room 396.''

 

 

Jacob unlocks the door and opens it, the room had a deisgnated area from the doorway to the bedroom.

 

Our room was decorated in white and tan furniture. Big enough to fill up the bedroom.

 

 

The bedroom was lovely. All dressed and draped in blues, and whites.

 

Jacob walks in behind me.

 

 

''Wow, this is amazing.'' he replies.

 

''Yeah. Lauren hooked us up.'' I said.

 

 

I hear footsteps near, as I turn to Rikki who walks into our room.

 

She found us stunned by the apperance of our bedroom.

 

 

''I love this hotel. Your room is so boho!'' she said finally looking at me.

 

''What about yours?'' I replied.

 

''Eh. Let's just say that my room has a....waterfull shower.'' Rikki says happily.

 

 

 

I laugh in excitement. She pulls me behind her as I closed the hotel room door along.

 

She leads me 1 floor down to her room.

 

 

''Are you ready?'' she says excidedly.

 

''Yes.'' I reply.

 

 

She anticipates my excitement for a second, and finally opens the door.

 

I'm amazed by how massive the room was.

 

 

There was no living area, but a couch in sight near the bed and bathroom.

 

Lilacs filled the tables surrounding me.

 

 

''This isn't a hotel room, this is a castle dream room.'' I reply smiling.

 

''I know, I asked for the single upgrade.'' Rikki said.

 

 

Lauren's voice rings in the hallways as she comes into Rikki's room.

 

 

''Alright FARELLE workers, get some sleep now. We have a meeting bright in early tomorrow after breakfast. So get your beauty sleep.'' she says.

 

She leaves as I look back to Rikki.

 

 

''So your invisible boyfriend is coming to stay here with you, right?'' I said.

 

Rikki gives me a stern look.

 

''Yes and he's going to be here. Soon.'' she replies angrily.

 

 

''Okay.'' iIreply teasing Rikki.

 

''Don't okay me. Uou and Marybella are gonna be sorry when you see him.'' she replies.

 

I head for the door.

 

I smirk at her. ''We'll see.''

 

 

 

I closed her door behind me quickly then went to the elavator, wating for one to come up.

 

The doors ding then open after a minute or so. I finally get in.

 

I step out of the elevator once it had reached my floor.

 

 

I turn to the hallway approaching my room.

 

 

I see Jacob watching the tv in our room.

 

He looks up to find me, then smiles.

 

 

''Ready to start relaxing?'' he says.

 

I smile back, then sit down next to him on the comfy couch.

 

"Yes," I say.

 

I really needed a break from everything.

 

 

 

The room was nice and warm. There was no breeze or feeling cold.

 

I hop onto the bed, feeling the cotton fabric beneath my skin.

 

  

Finally I settle into a sleeping spot, which was on the right side.

 

 

Several minutes later my eyes get heavy as everything in sight blurs.

 

Then i'm woken up by Jacob, shaking my arm.

 

 

I moan for him to stop but he continues.

 

Finally, I open my eyes, then turn to him.

 

 

''What, what Jacob?'' I say.

 

''Are you gonna sleep in your dress?'' he asks.

 

 

I look down confused. I hadn't changed out of it since our arrival.

 

I rub my eyes and give him a look. 

 

 

''You woke me up to say this?'' I reply, my voice slightly raspy.

 

''Well it's hard to sleep when I have someone so beautiful next to me for a whole week. I'm just looking out for you.'' he replies.

 

 

I turn back to my position from before and I tried to sleep again.

 

 

I close my eyes, but i'm alerted by Jacob's hand wrapping around my waist.

 

He pulls me closer, feeling the heat from his body radiating out to me.

 

 

I could feel and hear his heart beat from my back.

 

I roll my eyes happily, then go back to sleeping.

 

 

He wraps his arms around me, hugging me close to his chest. I turn and take a look at him, as he breaths silently into my shoulder.

 

 

It's gonna be a long week of sleeping like this.

 

That is, if were still in the romantic phase of being together again.

 

But I don't mind.

 

 

I turn my head back to the left, as my eyes drift off to a heavy sleep.

 

 --

 

My phone rings suddenly.

 

I open my eyes in shock. My eyesight, blurry.

 

But I manage to pick it up.

 

 

I yawn for a second then answer.

 

''Hello?''

 

''Good morning!! Big day today, get dressed and come down to breakfast!''

 

 

I realized it's Lauren's voice.

 

She was super hyper this morning, but I ignore it.

 

I just wanted to sleep in.

 

 

''Lauren it's-'' 

 

I look at the time on my phone.

 

 

6:30 AM

 

I continue. 

 

''..Really early in the morning.''

 

''And the sun is awake-'' she replies.

 

 

I cut her off by turning to the window in our bedroom. The sun's rays blind me as I try to turn back to my phone but instead I fall off the bed.

 

I fell with a loud thud.

 

Surprised by the ground meeting my face, I get up listening to Lauren again.

 

 

''...Then we'll go for a mini hotel tour if you choose to. See you then, bye!!''

 

 

She hangs up on me as.

 

I sigh slowly.

 

 

Jacob yawns loudly as I stand up.

 

''Good morning.'' he said, his low and raspy.

 

 

He had his arms behind his neck looking at me.

 

''Good morning to you too.'' I said.

 

Feeling the pain from the fall wrap around my knee, I groan and get up.

 

 

 

I stumble to go to the bathroom. Then as soon as i'm in, I take a look in the mirror.

 

It's gonna take a lot of effort to get up early every morning here. 

 

 

I take a nearby cup and fill it with water. My groggy eyes finally open.

 

I splash the water on my face giving me an alert feeling.

 

I gasp in horror.

 

 

My dress from yesterday was wet too. Slightly, with just spots of water.

 

 

The water was colder then I expected.

 

But i'm awake. And dripping water falls from my hair onto my dress.

 

''I'm awake.'' I finally said.

 

-- 

 

I hear a bell boy run by with luggage, as elevators ding and ding nearby.

 

Unfortunately, i'll be dealing with these hotel sounds for 7 days straight.

 

 

Jacob comes up behind me, as he strokes the strands of my hair behind my ear.

 

"You look good." he says.

 

I however still look dead after applying a little too much concealer on my face.

 

 

I was bombarded with the fact of waking up around 6:00 by Lauren herself.

 

I look across the hotel to see the 'sign' Rikki texted me this morning.

 

The Breakfast Hall

 

 

''There it is.'' I said grabbing Jacob's attention.

 

He smiles happily to see the view of food, and I was too.

 

 

I hadn't had anything to eat since the long flight here.

 

 

I walked faster as Jacob followed behind.

 

I instantly spot Rikki and Marybella and Mark at a table.

 

The hall or so called room, was decorated in white marble walls and golden curtains.

 

 

It looked like a scene reacreated in memoir out of a movie I suddenly remembered.

 

I turn my gaze back to the table after seeing the tasty buffet line that made my mouth water.

 

 

I sat next to Marybella, while Jacob joins me in the next seat.

 

Rikki turns to me and smiles.

 

She's wearing jeans as usual. But today, she wore a floral blouse that covered her long torso.

 

 

Marybella wore pink as usaul. But wore white shorts, which was unsual.

 

I however wore a light grey blouse and dark wash jeans.

 

 

 

''So how was the first night?'' Marybella asked smiling at me.

 

''It was great.'' I replied taking a sip from the served orange juice.

 

''Well I certainly enjoyed the first night. I mean macademia nuts and liquor?" Marybella replied.

 

"Who wouldn't pay for that?'' Rikki said with a smile.

 

''I...wouldn't pay for that.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki knew I was kidding, but she smiled anyways.

 

I speak again.

 

''So Mark what do you think about Brazil so far?'' I ask.

 

''Well it's different from the chilly and normal weather in New York, but it's a change for once.'' he replies then chuckles.

 

''Nice for a change, it's so hot here. Hotter than ever in Manhattan.'' I complained.

 

 

Rikki takes a mouthful of her french toast. I eye her plate full of delicious food. 

 

My stomach and mouth couldn't handle it, I was hungry.

 

 

Before I could say something Jacob leans in.

 

 

He smells like a mix of shampoo and cologne. 

 

''You smell nice.'' I say, leaning into him with a smile.

 

''You too." he replies.

 

 

''Wanna get breakfast?'' he says.

 

''Yes.'' I reply hungrily.

 

 

I get up and rush over to the buffet line, anxious to get my hands on the scrambled eggs and waffles.

 

I continuosly licked my lips, suddenly getting tired of the person in front of me.

 

 

Finally, I set my eyes on a plate and head to the eggs first. Then the waffles, then to the strawberries. 

 

 

I slowly walk over in awe of the chocolate filled cocktail crossiants.

 

My eyes were glued to all of them. I couldn't pick just one.

 

"Take 3 if you want." Jacob murmered.

 

 

My eyes lit up and I take as many as I want.

 

Then, I stopped at the syrup in a massive bowl with a huge spoon to pour onto my hot waffles.

 

 

''Are you that hungry? You gonna be an longer?'' Jacob asked breaking me from my heavenly trance.

 

 

"Mmmhhm." I managed to reply.

 

He rolls his eyes, making me giggle.

 

 

Finally I was finished and sat down with the gang.

 

Rikki was done eating by the time I sat down and Marybella nearly had her food gone off her plate.

 

 

I ate as fast as I could between our conversations.

 

Jacob only had a few things on his plate, so he was the first to finsh.

 

 

''I'm actually pretty worried if the other magazine companies are in high competitive right now.'' Rikki says.

 

''Yep, I bet their polishing their pens and laminating their notes.'' Marybella says.

 

 

I couldn't help but laugh a little.

 

I hope the stakes for this year's competition isn't too competitive.

 

 

Suddenly, something draws my eyes away from my plate.

 

And everyone else does the same too.

 

 

There I was, stuffing my mouth with the last waffle on my fork, when a group of highly attractive people came in.

 

All dressed nice and dashing.

 

 

For a second, I felt dumb compared to them.

 

They had eyes that could stare into the back of your mind.

 

I was frozen in shock by their attractive appeal.

 

 

Hot bodies and big brains. They were sure here for the Magazine Face Off's.

 

 

I watch as the groups manifest their bodies pastus. They glare and shoot looks.

 

I could tell they weren't nice at all.

 

Sure they were all smiles when they entered the room, but when they layed eyes on us, it was a cat fight beginning.

 

 

Some didn't give looks at all. Some just walked past.

 

They were like a big 8 pack wolf gang in the room. Ready for their leader to pounce on anyone, if they dare.

 

 

I snapped back to reality when Jacob shakes my arms.

 

I swallow what's left of my waffle and sit back appalled.

 

''Who are they?'' I managed to say.

 

''That's the crew from LIMIT magazine. I heard they have a killer writer.'' Rikki says.

 

 

I give her a look.

 

''Not to say you aren't a killer writer.'' she rephrases

 

 

''It's okay, I know what you mean.'' I said.

 

Marybella scowls at them. ''Ugh, they're like cheap copies of us, but better looking and single.''

 

She hugs onto Mark as I look back at them.

 

 

Sure they were well dressed and may have a few people look like they went on a botox spree, but they are nothing compared to the FARELLE gang.

 

 

''Come on, we have to get to the orientation meeting before we sign up at the Annual Magazine Face Off.'' Rikki says pulling us from our trance.

 

 

She gets up, then Mark and Marybella follow.

 

She reaches over to grab my attention, but my eyes are still on them.

 

 

There was just something about them that caught my attention and froze my brain for a second.

 

They were better than us.

 

And I didn't like competition.

 

 

Jacob leans in to whisper in my ear. ''Let's go.''

 

 

I'm brought back with the sound of his voice.

 

He slowly grabs me by my elbow helping me get up from the table.

 

I blink a few times, eyeing Jacob to reassure I was back after my hallucinating trance.

 

 

My eyes felt more awake now. Even just staring at those beautiful people, made the bags under my eyes look like I hadn't slept for days.

 

 

 

Jacob leads me outside through a doorway, just behind the table we sat at.

 

We all exit onto a large porch and patio.

 

The beach from earlier which we couldn't see at night yesterday, was in full saturating colors.

 

 

A beautiful turquoise blue water laid straight up ahead. People were swimming and bathing in the the sun on the beach.

 

Then, i'm drawn from my thoughts to Lauren's voice.

 

 

''Hello my lovelies, good morning from Brazil!!'' she says.

 

''Morning Lauren, nice to see you in a upbeat mood.'' I replied.

 

''Well I do keep myself young darling, and besides we need to get to orientation. It's starts in 7 minutes, go!!'' she says getting serious. 

 

 

She motions her hands for us to go ahead of her, as she leads us forward.

 

We all walk to a designated large conference room, located 1 minute from the breakfast hall outside the hotel.

 

We walk into the cool rushing air from the hot weather outside.

 

 

''Alright, if you're here for the Annual Magazine Face Off's, please take a seat.'' a voice said over a microphone.

 

''This is the orientation guys, pay attention and take notes.'' Lauren says.

 

 

She grabs a pad notebook and pen provided at the table near the entrance and disappears like always.

 

''As you can see, we have notebooks and pens ready for you in the back. Once you've grabbed 2 of those, make your way to the seats up front, filling up to the back. You have 1 minute.'' the voice says again finally appearing with a microphone in her hands.

 

 

I grabbed 1 pen and a notebook.

 

I head to my seat when the annoucer spoke again.

 

''I'd like I ask the guests or plus 1's here for the trip and the competition, to please be seated in the back, so that our competitors can listen to orientation. We need all our competitors up front so you can hear the clear rules.'' says the announcer.

 

 

I look at Jacob saddened.

 

He wasn't gonna sit next to me to calm my nerves.

 

 

''It's okay, you'll be fine.'' he says, then kissing my cheek.

 

I felt a little bit better.

 

 

''All Magazine Bosses, Managers, Editors, Workers and Interns please be seated.'' said our annoucer.

 

 

She wore a big fat smile with an shape her face.

 

She nears the podium, then leans on it.

 

 

Marybella finds a seat in a row behind me. While Rikki sits to my right. 

 

The doors close from the outside, letting the Brazil sunlight from outside fade.

 

The lights in the conference room were faded to light blue.

 

 

Massive heavy projection music plays. I cover my ears from the loud sound.

 

The annoucer cues for the music to stop.

 

She fixes her tie, looking into the crowd. Flashes her smile, making her forehead look awfully raised up to shape the face.

 

 

Me and Rikki silently giggle.

 

 

''Hello magazine employees, my name is Ms. Parfum.''

 

''You mean Perfume?!'' someone in the back yells.

 

 

Everyone in the crowd laughs. Even me and Rikki laugh.

 

''No, it's Parfum. It's french.'' he says.

 

''Sure it is.'' Rikki says loudly.

 

 

The crowd get's hyped up again.

 

I gently smack her on the arm. But I can't help but laugh, that was a good one.

 

The crowd's laugh dies down again.

 

 

''Enough of the funny horses and humour. Let's get down to real business. My name is Ms. Parfum, no funny jokes.'' she looks to the crowd afterwards.

 

''And I am here to talk as your competition mentor. As you can see this week the Annual Magazine Face Off's will continue.''

 

Everyone claps excidedly.

 

 

Then the doors suddenly open. The crew from earlier at breakfast, barge in with their masculine and hot bodies fanning the room.

 

They move from the door frame, letting in light from outside that blinds most of the people in their chair rows.

 

 

They all pass by our row, giving us the death stare. Moving to the first row where no one dares to sit.

 

They all sit down without hesitation of interuppting.

 

 

Ms. Parfum looks down at them, anticipating their late entrance. The room is quiet again as she looks into the crowd.

 

 

''Nice of you to join the orientation,....5 minutes late, LIMIT Magazine.'' she says.

 

''Sorry we're late. We were speaking with a sponser who made a deal with us.'' one brunette girl spoke.

 

 

She was at least 5'7''

 

Judging the way she sat in her chair, blocking most of Ms. Parfum's view from my sight.

 

She smiles and smirks at everyone, rubbing it in our faces.

 

 

I hated the girl already. I don't care if she's older or younger, depending on her clearly botoxed face.

 

The tension in the room went back to normal, as Ms. Parfum tries to speak again.

 

 

''We are all so happy to be here and tell you about the competitive side to leading your magazine company to fame. Now, most you may not recognize the Magazine companies in here, but let me introduce you all.''

 

 

The projector above switches from all white to all of the company's names listed.

 

At least a hundred from my view, but i'm exaggerating.

 

 

''First up for recognition in alphabatheical order, AUSSIE Magazine company from Australia. Stand up you guys.''

 

Everyone claps loudly cheering.

 

 

Smiles go around as the crew from the magazine stand up, waving as the crowd died down.

 

Ms. Parfum speaks again going down the list.

 

 

''Next up, ARRANGED Magazine company from Poland.'' she shouts, clapping along too.

 

Everyone gives their appluase as the cheering goes quiet.

 

 

''Next up, BANGCON Magazine company from South Korea.''

 

They stand up and we clap.

 

 

''Now next up, BREW VIEW Magaine company from Iceland.''

 

Everyone claps loudly, some hooting in the back.

 

Ms. Parfum quiets down the loudy crowd then reads the rest.

 

 

''Coming up next, we have BARREL Magazine company from Thailand.''

 

Everyone gives their round of applause as I sat there bored, still clapping.

 

 

How many hours before it's FARELLE's turn?

 

 

''Now we have, CAROL Magazine company from London.'' Ms. Parfum said.

 

Claps went around again, then Mr. Parfum silenced the crowd again.

 

 

''Now moving on from the letters D through E, and the companies who unfortunately couldn't be here this year.'' he says.

 

 

The crowd boo's go into full sound as she continues.

 

''But we have this coming year for the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's, FARELLE magazine company from New York!!''

 

Most of the interns in the back went wild, as we stood up waving to the fellow magazine company workers.

 

Cheers and hoots were loud as Ms. Parfum tried to die down the crowd.

 

 

''Up next we have, HALLSEY magazine company from Greece.''

 

 

As she goes down the list of magazine compaines, we get even more anticipated for it to end.

 

 

JAHKKOY Magazine Company

 

LIMIT Magazine Company

 

MOONLIT Magazine Company

 

REBIRTH Magazine Company

 

SALIOR Magazine Company

 

XPLOSIVE Magazine Company

 

ZOOMA Magazine Company

 

 

 

''Special thanks for all the companies that have joined us this year. I know there was a mishap last year. But not to worry, KARL magazine will be coming to announce their postition tomorrow.'' she finally announces.

 

Several people clapped.

 

 

I was one of the those few people.

 

 

KARL magazine coming tomorrow was gonna excite things up a bit.

 

I'm probably going to see Jeff and Ryan again.

 

 

''And now moving on, we have the mandatory notes needed to be taken by all workers. Including interns.'' Ms. Parfum says.

 

 

I look back to the interns. I see Walt and Eugene behind.

 

Kyle was sitting in the same row as Jacob.

 

I was a bit surprised he was here, and would show up to orientation.

 

 

''So continuing, for the writers. You get to go first, lucky you.'' Ms. Parfum says smilng to the crowd.

 

''First we'll need your major information, schools you have attended, and many more things we will cover.'' she says in a hurry.

 

 

I struggle to keep up on her words. Man Lauren maybe right about the whole finishing college thing.

 

This was going to be hard work and now we have to be serious.

 

 

I looked down, nervous at my bad writing.

 

I would have to write the notes again.

 

This wasn't going to be as easy as I thought.

 

Chapter Nine: Inferno Taste

  

 

''Come on it wasn't that bad.'' Rikki said persuading me.

 

''Really? I was too embarrassed to finish mine. That presenter was going really fast.'' I replied.

 

 

We all arrived at the white tent, set up for registration. Just miles from our hotel.

 

Marybella follows behind me scanning the place.

 

Jacob joins my side to comfort me, while I shudder at the sight of registration. 

 

 

''Don't worry, it wasn't that bad. Plus we have the rest of the day off to relax.'' he says to me.

 

 

I nod in response. Of course the rest of the day would be just fine.

 

''Trust me the bullet notes for the models weren't half as bad as the photographers.'' Rikki finally says.

 

 

Marybella turns around to face her.

 

''Hey it wasn't a bad lecture or conference, the only thing I had to do was sit still and look pretty.'' she says.

 

 

Rikki tries to fight back, I stand in the middle.

 

No one wants fighting friends on a business vacation.

 

 

''Hey you guys, stop arguing. Okay, we're on vacation. So please don't ruin this for us.'' I said.

 

''Beats me, we're not the ones who ruined our chances of getting to go here last year.'' Rikki shot back.

 

 

My eyes open in shock, then my eyebrows furrow.

 

They both head to the free convention sample table, I frustradedly grab my name tag.

 

Jacob rubs my shoulder consoling my need for attention.

 

 

The mic squeaks, as we all look up to see Lauren on the small stage.

 

She's smiling as usual.

 

 

''Welcome all FARELLE magazine workers to the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's here in Brazil. I am very happy to anounce to being here this year and all of you too.'' she says.

 

 

Everyone cheers as Rikki and Marybella finally join me.

 

Mark stands behind Marybella as the crowd continues to roar.

 

 

''Thank you everyone, feel free to sign in if you haven't. And in 1 minute the rest of the day is yours.'' Lauren finally says.

 

Claps and hoots went around, everyone was excited to get this long day over with.

 

The afternoon sunset rose as we took the transportation bus ride back to the hotel.

 

 

Each sun ray setting on my skin, with every flawless touch warmed my heart. I was in a new country, far away from home.

 

I bit my bottom lip as my eyes continued to look out the window.

 

Jacob's head rests on my left shoulder, as he tries to get some sleep next to me.

 

I make a small turn to face him. Then back to the window.

 

 

 

When we got back to the hotel, I changed into my bikini top and high-waisted jean shorts. I planned to go to the pool today, once I got some free time.

 

 

I put on my light fabric cardigan. I packed my big purse with sunscreen and my glasses along with extra dry clothes.

 

 

Wearing minimal clothing is mandatory now that we've been here for 1 day.

 

It has been hot since we arrived and i'm glad for the weather here.

 

 

I open the bathroom door to see Jacob snoring into his pillow.

 

 

I grab my flip flops, then hung my towel over my shoulder.

 

I strut down the hall after closing the door. Turning the corner to run into Sara.

 

 

She bumps into me, falling with piles of papers. I lean down to help her.

 

She looks up shocked to see me.

 

 

''Oh, sorry I didn't see you.'' she says.

 

''It's okay.'' I said.

 

 

She gathers the rest of the papers then stands up.

 

She takes a look at me.

 

''All that hard work is putting me in a stress level stage. Actually getting back into the work field for FARELLE brings a lot of responsibilites to be able to qualify for. Snce I had experience.'' she says.

 

 

I give a small smile, attempting to move ahead.

 

Sara turns to face me.

 

''Nice running into you, it's different to see you in a bikini top. For once,'' she replied.

 

 

And before I could reply, she's already gone down the hall.

 

  

I shake my head from the last thought and head down to the cool refreshing pool. The sun sets on my skin, giving me an illuminating glow.

 

I scope out a free beach lawn chair.

 

 

As I pass by severeal, I felt the sprinkles of the water hit my skin from the pool nearby.

 

I finally sat down on an open chair beneath the solid concrete.

 

 

Children and adults talk as I watch them soar and swim through the water.

 

I slip off my flip flops then lay down, my head facing up below a palm tree.

 

 

The shade hits the spot making me shiver a little. It was werid to get into the comfort of my own skin while i'm on business vacation.

 

I relax putting my arms behind my back.

 

But then i'm interuppted.

 

 

''Hello.''

 

I recognized the voice. I flutter my eyes open seeing Marybella.

 

 

I sigh then sit up. She sits down in the empty chair next to me on my the right.

 

''Sorry for earlier, me and Rikki didn't mean to say what we did.'' she said.

 

 

Before I actually payed attention to what she was saying, i'm drawn to the reveal of cleavage she had.

 

She looked amazing.

 

 

She wore a white bikini top with matching bottoms. She also had on a sheer pink body cover.

 

Her hair was in a high ponytail, which was unusal.

 

 

Bella smiles through her hippy sunglasses, her face shaped like a heart. She homehow reminded me of my mom during the summer.

 

 

Rose cheeks, red full lips and a scarf over her head to mock the 60's head wear.

 

 

''Elle say something.'' she says.

 

''Yes?'' I said.

 

''Do you forgive us?'' she says.

 

''Yes.'' I said.

 

 

They hadn't even talked to me on the way back to the hotel.

 

I guess this was their way of apologizing.

 

 

''Good, because now that we have free time, you need to focus on Jacob.'' Marybella says, setting down her bag full of things.

 

She lays down trying to find comfort.

 

She sighs as she stares up at the palm tree.

 

 

''What do you mean, me and Jacob? We're fine.'' I replied

 

''No, I meant, this is the perfect time for you guys to make up. You know, since-'' she says lingering.

 

''Since I got out of jail. Ikay I see how it is.'' I said.

 

 

''Not that I mean that. I mean you guys have been in the lovey dovey romantic were back together phase for weeks now. What's up with you guys? You leave for a year and he doesn't even surprise you with a ring?'' she says.

 

Marybella sighs adjusting her sunglasses.

 

 

''Jacob will put a ring on me. It just hasn't happened yet. But why is it your business?'' I said turning to Marybella.

 

''Unlike you guys, me and Mark are fine. You however left your relationship on the tip of the iceberg for a year.'' she points to me.

 

''I was in jail.'' I tried to whisper.

 

''Well after being in jail, have you guys gone out?'' Marybella said turning on her left side.

 

 

She puts down her sunglasses to see me.

 

''Yeah one time...well....we went shopping and then we went to see a movie.'' I replied.

 

 

Marybella gives me an all knowing look.

 

It struck me how much time we haven't spent together since we first met.

 

I don't even know what we are now.

 

 

''Shopping, and a movie? That's nothing compared to marriage, me and Mark are practically engaged d to each other. One might even say that we're already married.''

 

''No you're not. You guys are still engaged and have a child. Don't call it that.'' I shot back.

 

''Yeah, but at least Mark proposed to me.'' she shot back.

 

 

I scoff in response. She didn't say another word.

 

It sort of scared me with her outburst, it hadn't came to mind.

 

 

The thought of Jacob proposing, scared me out of my skin.

 

My stomach might twist and turned in that moment for sure.

 

Maybe we weren't ready to be married, or meant to be.

 

 

Does he just wants to be my boyfriend, for the rest of his life?

 

 

Marybella speaks after the awkward silence.

 

 

''Sorry. I just worry about you a lot since you've been back. You're better than ever, but part of me realizes nothing has changed between you and Jacob.'' she says.

 

 

She reached over to hug me. I grow stiff for a moment, thinking.

 

Then I return the hug.

 

I know it wasn't her doing to upset me.

 

But me and Jacob need to continue our thoughts on being together.

 

 

Are we going to be boyfriend and girlfriend for more than 3 years? Are we going going to be engaged anytime soon?

 

Will we ever marry? Sooner or later.

 

 

Marybella releases me, heading to the pool. She lets her feet touch the water, before eventually standing and wating for the moment to jump in.

 

 

I walk up beside her, tempted to jump in by the sun blinding my skin.

 

It was cool and refreshing to see.

 

I turn to Bella.

 

 

''Are you going to jump in?'' I said teasing her.

 

''No,....but you might-'' she says suddenly pushing me.

 

 

I'm awakend by the feeling of cold water rushing and covering my skin.

 

I realized it was the pool.

 

I rise up to the surface, wiping the water from my eyes to see Marybella laughing.

 

  

''Why did you do that?'' I said suddenly so angry.

 

 

All she did was smile looking down at me.

 

''Revenge is sweet huh?'' she finally says.

 

 

Then I realized what she was talking about.

 

She was clever but not to clever for me.

 

 

''That's your revenge to me? Oh i'm so, gonna get you back.'' I said smiling.

 

 

I swim to the edge where she had pushed me. I climb up, aware of the water soaking my jeans.

 

I flip back my wet hair as I search to find Marybella in the crowd of people.

 

 

I fast walk back to my chair and dry myself with my towel.

 

Marybella was still on my mind.

 

I was gonna get her good when I see her again.

 

 

But i'm stopped at my thoughts when my stomach growls.

 

 

I grab my things from the chair and walk back towards the hotel.

 

 

I was hungry after the time spent earlier.

 

I needed to undress from my damp clothes and see if the hotel is serving food soon.

 

 

 

I quickly waddle back in my wet shorts making the skin between my thighs itch. My hair still wet swinging behind me.

 

 

I head to the elevator, then press the button to my floor waiting for the doors.

 

Before I go up,  Rikki comes in sight as she nears the elevator and waits for the doors to close.

 

 

We stood in silence going up as I shivered from the cold air on my bare exposed skin.

 

I was still cold and wet.

 

I pulled my towel over myself as I tried to find warmth.

 

 

''Marybella told me.'' Rikki finally says.

 

She smiles widely.

 

 

''It actually didn't even last really long. Devious Bella huh?'' I replied.

 

Rikki laughs in silence as I try to cover my exposed legs to the cold air.

 

The elevator dings again and I get off, with Rikki following me.

 

 

She stops me before I reach my room.

 

''Elle, can I say something?''

 

 

I turn to her from my direction.

 

''I want to say sorry for telling you, that you ruined our chances of going to Brazil last year. I'm just anxious to win this year. The notes from the conference with Ms. Parfum kind of scared me too, about what the photographers have to do.'' she said.

 

 

I didn't expect to hear so much just for an apology.

 

Rikki had it out.

 

 

''It's okay, I understand. The pressure was put on all of us when we went to the conference. The writers have it worse, but at least the photographers have better competition.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki laughs as I give her a smile.

 

I hated to see her angry.

 

Ever since that time Marybella was in the hospital, i've never seen her this way.

 

 

She's changed so much and I need to have faith that she's still the same Rikki.

 

Only with a new attitude.

 

 

''Well thanks for that, I just hope we win this year.'' I say.

 

''Me too.'' she replied.

 

 

We smile at each other for a moment before she walks back to the elevator.

 

''I'll see you at dinner in thirty.'' she says.

 

 

''Only 30 minutes till dinner?'' iIreplied.

 

''Yep, you better get ready. Fast.'' she says before she leaves.

 

 

I scoff then close my room door. I'm quick to hurry in.

 

I hear the squish of water in my flip flops.

 

 

I rushed to the bedroom and slowly take off my damp clothing.

 

My towel and purse follow behind the rest of my discarded clothes as I hop into the shower.

 

 

The steam forms quickly as I choose between shampoo and conditioner.

 

I didn't have time to dry my hair for long. So I take the shampoo to clear out the chlorine from my hair.

 

 

I rinse throughly, as I watch the steam cloud the glass walls and doorway of the shower. The slightly hot water stings, but relaxes my tensed skin.

 

 

After, I wrap the towel around myself and began to blow dry my hair. I hear the door knob click, I turn to see Jacob with sleepy eyes enter in.

 

 

I must've forgotten to lock the door.

 

 

''Hey, why are you in a towel?'' he asks as he clears his voice.

 

''Getting ready for dinner, and you should too.'' I replied blowing hot air from the dryer.

 

 

I began to wrap my hair in a nearby towel as I enter the bedroom again.

 

I open my suitcase and search for something to wear.

 

 

Nothing too fancy or too under dressed.

 

As I search, I hear the shower being turned. I grab my phone.

 

7:19

 

 

I open my other suitcase, then my phone rang. I adjusted the almost falling towel from my body.

 

 

''Hello?'' I said picking up.

 

''Dinner. Are you ready?'' Lauren's voice squeaks.

 

''Yes, i'm getting ready now.'' I replied searching for a dress.

 

 

Suddenly I hear the shower knob go off in the bathroom, the hotel room fills with silence.

 

 

''...Be sure to wear something beautiful, it's a dancing kind of night.'' she says.

 

''Great/ I will find something beautiful to wear.'' I reply.

 

 

She hangs up as I search for one of my fitted dresses.

 

The door opens from the bathroom, as I turn around to see Jacob wearing a towel just above his waist.

 

 

I'm mesmorized as I stare at his stomach caressing in view from the sunlight going down outside.

 

I've never seen him shirtless before.

 

 

His rip my eyes from him, as I try not to stare blankly at his god given body. Water drips from his skin over his lean waist.

 

His smiles appears in my view as i'm struck back to life.

 

 

 

I've never done that before. I've never fully looked at his body, as if it were possible.

 

I was looking at him.

 

 

''Like what you see?'' he replied.

 

 

I turn back to my phone quickly.

 

7:23

 

Damn. I had probably spent 3 minutes wasting time.

 

But good wasted time.

 

 

Jacob begins to gather the clothes he's going to wear. 

 

''Make sure to dress nice. Lauren says it's going to be a dance type of night.'' I said, trying to swallow the lump in my throat.

 

 

I tried not to stare at his body again.

 

But I knew i'd do it.

 

 

After fighting with my thoughts, finally I went into the bathroom again.

 

I dressed up and dried the rest of my hair which was slightly damp.

 

I sprayed it with volumizer and brushed it down to style.

 

 

I pull down the tightly red dress as iI look into the mirror.

 

I hear a knock on the door.

 

 

''Can I come in?'' Jacob says.

 

''Sure.'' I said smiling.

 

 

''Alright what do you think...'' he says looking up to me.

 

 

I don't answer. I put on a few strokes of brown highlighted eye shadow on.

 

It's been a while since i've never worn proper makeup, so tonight was a try.

 

 

I drew a slight arch of a matte lip on. Then I turn to Jacob, who had been watching the whole time.

 

I watch his eyes linger at my movement. As I look back to the counter and I placed the lip stick down.

 

Boy, he looked good.

 

  

A black blazer and a white dress shirt underneath. He matched the blazer with his pants and shoes.

 

He wore his shiny gold watch. His hair, dark and black, falling in front of his eyes.

 

 

''Wow...you look amazing,-'' he replied in amazed silence.

 

"Thanks, so do you." I respond.

 

 

He opens his mouth to speak, and I shush him by lifting my left hand up. Putting my finger on his lips.

 

I don't notice for a second, but then his lips caress my finger with a kiss as I try to get out of the romantic trance.

 

I pull my finger away quickly, then I examine him.

 

 

''You look really handsome.'' I finally said.

 

 

His smile turns into a grin as he slightly looks me up and down.

 

My eyes shift down to the ground as my small grin loosens up to a normal pout.

 

Jacob's finger brings back my eyes to his.

 

 

He eyes look down to mine.

 

I try to put on a smile to make it seem less tense between us.

 

But he places his hands on my face, concerned.

 

 

''You look really beautiful.'' he says, a smile beginning to form.

 

 

I tried to smile. But there was just silence.

 

He whispers silently leaning in. ''I love you.''

 

 

His face nears my cheek and I have to look away in response.

 

My heart melts at those uttered words.

 

I missed that feeling when those words escaped my mouth before.

  

 

''I...love...you too-'' I start.

 

But i'm stopped by the press of his lips.

 

 

So warm, so soft. So gullible to fall for.

 

The small kiss deepens. 

 

Jacob caresses my cheek with left hand. And the other hand reaches down, almost touching the small of my back,...when my phone rings.

 

 

My lips part from his, as the warm feeling between us washes away.

 

I didn't want to stop.

 

We part from each other on instinct, almost upset at the interupption.

 

 

I sigh then go to answer my phone.

 

 

''Elle where are you? Why aren't you here yet? I don't see you.'' Lauren says.

 

''Yes, me and Jacob are coming down. We'll be there.'' I replied.

 

 

I click my phone off as I dart for the door. I didn't even think to check if Jacob was following me.

 

I finally turn around to see him coming along.

 

 

''Ready to go?'' I said as Jacob comes from the bathroom.

 

''Yeah, i'll lock the door behind us.'' he replied.

 

 

I walked out first. Seconds later, I heard the door click behind us.

 

We both walk down to the elevator in silence. There's no conversation after we left our hotel room.

 

It's nothing but still air and quiet breathing that fills the elevator as we went down. 

 

 

We walk into pop jazz playing. Everyone was socializing.

 

The room had 2 chandliers hanging above which we didn't see earlier.

 

And the tables were changed from 7 round tables and 5 long streched table to all round tables fitting 8 people.

 

 

Rikki waved her hand, putting down her wine glass. I spot her as I cling to Jacob's arm.

 

Marybella smiles to us as we sat down.

 

 

''Nice to see you two. The lovey dovey couple finally get's here. You're 15 minutes late.'' Marybella says.

 

''Yeah, well at least the party hasn't started yet.'' I replied, getting comfortable.

 

 

The waiters whisked around the tables, coming to me and Jacob, setting down plates filled with food.

 

The waiter behind me smiles.

 

''Dinner for the FARELLE workers, we have a chicken fillet served as the main dish with delicate french clusters on the side. And dessert, will be served later tonight.'' says a waiter.

 

 

He leaves with the other waiters. I smile down to my plate.

 

I was expecting something more exotic, but of course Lauren would order something simply american.

 

 

''Mmm, let's dig in.'' I said attempting to eat.

 

I look and see everone's plate is empty.

 

Everyone else slides a guilty face.

 

 

''You guys already ate.'' I said.

 

 

Rikki gives an innocent face. ''Sorry, you were just taking too long and we got hungry.''

 

''Okay, I forgive you.'' I said teasing them.

 

 

All of them were dressed beautifully.

 

Rikki had a couple bobby pins taking a large piece of her hair back.

 

She wore a peach colored dress with dangly earrings.

 

 

I turned from my taken bite of the chicken fillet to Bella. She wore a slightly salmon pink dress and a white faux fur throw scarf.

 

Her hair was in the usual bun.

 

Mark was in a black suit and his hair slightly slicked back, everyone looked so good.

 

I was glad to see them all so happy, to be here with me.

 

 

Halfway done with my meal. I look in the corner of my eye to see Jacob eyeing at the dance floor.

 

That instantly flashes a smile on my face.

 

I remember last time we were on the dance floor, it was in Paris, at Carla's wedding.

 

 

It was a weird and such a crazy moment in that time. How we made up that night and my worries went away.

 

 

It made me think of how close we were back then. But it still couldn't make me shake the feeling of what we were years ago.

 

Jacob's breath warms my ear bringing me from my thoughts.

 

 

''You okay?'' he asks.

 

''Yes-'' I start.

 

But i'm cut off by my own words. I couldn't just lie to Jacob about what I was thinking.

 

We had to talk about this at some time, but i've never thought now.

 

 

''...No actually.'' I rephrased.

 

''Why, what's wrong?'' he said turning to me, rubbing my right hand.

 

 

His eyes look back into mine. Even after a year, he still felt concerned about my feelings.

 

It was sweet to know that he cares.

 

 

''It's actually about....us.'' I said whispering.

 

 

Jacob's expression turns to our friends at the table, then to me.

 

He leans in.

 

''I'm listening.'' he says.

 

 

I sigh then clear my potential thoughts.

 

''Do you see us in the future together?'' I tried to whisper.

 

 

He looks at me, aware of the question. Maybe he knew at some point that I would ask him.

 

I felt so guilty for making him answer this question, but I shouldn't.

 

 

''Well,...I do see us together. And I see us having a wonderful life.'' he says.

 

Slightly kissing my cheek.

 

''Well are you thinking of maybe...taking it up a notch?'' I asked flinching at his reaction.

 

''Yes, I think we should. It would be great, we practically made it official the first time when we moved in together. But now, it seems to be appropriate.'' he replies.

 

 

I raise an eyebrow in surprise, followed by a huge smile.

 

This was it. This was the right thing to do.

 

I could hear the calm words come from his mouth. He hasn't snapped about us going further yet.

 

 

I was lucky to have Jacob. Because if I didn't...I wouldn't be here.

 

''Do you see me as more than girlfriend? or-" I start.

 

 

The lights dim as a mic is turned on. Lauren in the distance taps on it to get our attention.

 

Jacob and I turn away from our interuppted conversation.

 

 

Even from the dim light, I could still see the bright smile Lauren had.

 

She cleared her throat before answering.

 

 

''Thank you all for coming tonight.''

 

 

The crowd cheers.

 

 

''I really want to thank you all, who came out here to join us. And KARL magazine one of our sister companies, an ally, for joining us tomorrow. Thank you all.'' she says.

 

 

 

The lights brighten up again, letting the chandelier light shimmer above us. Lauren gets off the stage to greet people.

 

 

I smile. This was just too perfect.

 

A week in brazil and my amazing job to thank you for that, because Lauren believed in me.

 

 

 

Jacob whispers into my ear, grabbing my attention.

 

''Let's dance.''

 

 

Music starts to play. Marybella and Mark go to the dance floor.

 

Rikki stays behind, watching us.

 

 

We get up and shuffle out way to the floor.

 

Jacob turls me around, pulling my body to his. We slow dance for a second before catching up with the beat of the music.

 

''So what was it that you wanted to say? You know, before we were interuppted," he says.

 

 

I hesitated, embarassed. I was gonna ask him if he wants me to be more than his girlfriend.

 

But now it seems unecessary.

 

 

''Um,..'' I started looking away.

 

''Come on, tell me.'' he says.

 

 

My eyes are brought back to his.

 

I finally sigh then ask him again.

 

''Do you see me as more than a girlfriend?'' I said, unaware of the way my voice sounded.

 

 

He looks at me, and a smile overcomes his face.

 

I felt my face sting with embarassment.

 

Maybe he thought I was not going to be his girlfriend for too long.

 

 

''Of course I see you...as more than a girlfriend. You're practically my best friend. Nothing and no one can make me question our relationship.'' he says.

 

 

I smiled.

 

Even after a year, he still remained faithful to me.

 

He waited for my return, and he was amazingly sweet about it.

 

 

But I didn't expect that answer. I wanted him to tell me that something was going to change and we'd be more than just that.

 

Boyfriend and girlfriend.

 

 

Maybe even his fiancé, just like how I dreamed.

 

 

''That's nice to know Jacob, but um...I meant....I want us to take it to the next level.'' I said over the booming music.

 

The music got louder, eventually slowing down to a slow speed where we can hear each other.

 

Jacob's concern turns to me.

 

 

His voice is almost muffed from the crowd singing along, but I heard what he said.

 

I nod my head, i'm sure he agreed to my question.

 

 

''Right now?'' he says smiling into my ear.

 

 

I was kinda shocked by his quick response. 

 

I smiled at his response. Of course he knew at some point we would be talking about our future.

 

 

''Yes, now is perfect.'' I said back finally.

 

He grins as he pulls me from the dance floor, i'm surprised by the immediate take on the subject.

 

 

He pulls into an elevator. By the grip of his hand,  he wanted this to be a quick hurried thing to do.

 

The elevator doors closes behind us.

 

 

I however, am shocked by his massive appeal to get away for a second.

 

This means he's serious.

 

 

He presses his hand on the stop button for the elevator to stay still. He looks over to me, slowly walking towards me.

 

I'm taken back by the approach. Ive never seen him so interested like this to make our way up to a stop. 

 

 

I quietly sigh in preperation for his words.

 

He leans in to lift up my chin to face him, his eyes staring back into mine.

 

Just waiting to hear those words had me over the edge, excited.

 

 

Was he gonna say, that should we do it now?

 

Should we get crazy tonight? Get wasted and make it official?

 

If we do, I want him to take my last name and say it to me. The thought of it makes me squirm to hear it.

 

 

The moment is intense as our bodies collide. His lips press against mine suddenly.

 

I did not expect this.

 

 

But I ignore my thoughts and focus on him, his lips move in sync with mine. We've never kissed like this before.

 

Just the thought and feeling rushing back into me, made me feel butterflies.

 

His left hand caressed my cheek. He slightly pushes me against the elevator walls. His body closing the gap between us.

 

 

I felt our steamy breaths as we deepend the kiss. His arms finally snaking to my waist in attempt to pull me closer.

 

I rest my arms on his shoulder, leaning in to soften the kiss before i'm pushed back to the wall.

 

 

I've never felt this kind of way.

 

Even with Jacob. But he was good at it. 

 

 

But my thoughts are going back to what I said earlier, how I wanted us to take it to the next level.

 

Did he understand what I meant?

 

Or did he drag me in here to make out, then talk about it in our hotel room?

 

 

In fact, did he even think to question my concern?

 

 

His left hand leaves my waist moving down, leaving trails over my body. He reached far from my comfort zone, this was getting instense.

 

 

His left hand reaches my thigh lifting it up to his waist, i'm scared at first. We've never attempted to try something new, or even made out this way.

 

My dress fades back, inching from it's resting stop on my right thigh. We were still kissing, but my mind focuses on his movements.

 

 

Jacob's fingers linger at the hem of my dress, my right leg still hung to his waist.

 

Weird to say, that I liked it.

 

 

With a quick move both my legs hug his waist as I pushed back slowly against the wall again.

 

I'm embarassed, but I push down the feeling and I focus back on Jacob. 

 

 

His smiles grew big as he notices I pulled back. His lips reconnect with mine.

 

And i'm taken aback at making out again. His hands caressing each thigh as i'm drawn closer to him.

 

The heat between us made it more romantic.

 

 

Here we are, stuck in an elevator, making out. Unexpected.

 

 

Jacob's hands linger to my waist slowly raising me up above him a little, my neck cranes down to kiss him. 

 

But i'm in sudden shock when his hands reach for my right thigh again pulling up the hem of my dress.

 

Did he know that I didn't like that?

 

 

He was getting too close, this wasn't even where I was expecting him to take me.

 

I pull away harshly at the passionate kiss, even though I didn't want to. 

 

 

''Jacob.'' I said, taking a breath of relief.

 

''What?'' he says seductively into my ear.

 

 

I nearly pull back into the trance at his response, but I didn't want to. He had somehow turned me on.

 

And i'm drawn to him again, his lips planting trails on my neck.

 

 

I couldn't help but stay there hoping he puts me down and stops this toture.

 

It was getting out of hand. He probably didn't know his voice had an effect on me.

 

 

I push him back again, his face filled with concern. And so is mine.

 

I wanted to say nevermind and make him kiss me again, but I shake my head.

 

 

''I thought I said, we should take it up another level?'' I finally said.

 

''We are, aren't we?'' he says again quickly kissing my neck again.

 

 

I hum slightly, his lips touching mine again. I had to stop it.

 

But I can't if he's touching a part of my body every second.

 

 

''I thought we were going to talk, you know....upstairs about taking it up a level.'' I said pushing him far away from me.

 

I could tell he was upset, I didn't let him finish. But we need to talk.

 

I didn't know if taking our relationship up a notch was his way of saying sex.

 

 

And we had addressed it back in Paris, the first time.

 

He promised.

 

 

His chest grew tense as I tried not to imagine myself taking off his shirt to reveal his skin and body.

 

I desperately wanted to see again.

 

 

Jacob doesn't respond quickly, so he let's me down from our clinged bodies.

 

My two legs touch the ground. Our closed gap now disappearing, I adjust my dress in a embarassed fit.

 

 

''If you wanna talk that's good. I wanna interest you in something.'' he says smiling seductively at the end.

 

He leans in, making me almost draw back to his warm body caressing me again.

 

But I shake my head again.

 

 

''Interest me in what? Aren't we just planning to get it over with?'' I said in confusion.

 

''Planning? If that's what you wanna call it.'' he said, confused at first.

 

''No, I don't want to call it planning. I rather call it commitment.'' I shot back.

 

 

Jacob shakes his head, I could tell his was confused by my answer.

 

''Wait a minute,...commitment. Is this what you were talking about back in the dinner hall?'' he says backing up from me.

 

''Yes, about our plans for the future and how were gonna plan to be together.'' I said reassuring him.

 

 

Jacob sighs then looks off to the side.

 

I see we're now having problems.

 

 

''I thought you said,...take it to the next level. You meant, that we'd-'' he trails off

 

''Talk about our future and what we're gonna do about it.'' I said interuppting.

 

 

Jaocb shakes his head. ''No, I thought you meant take it up a notch,...in that way.''

 

His gesture makes my thoughts jump in my head.

 

I felt guilt come up. He thought we were taking it up a level.

 

 

But I was not even ready, we haven't even talked about it in a long time.

 

But were gonna have to talk about it sooner or later.

 

Now we have addressed the 'sexy' situation in the elevator.

 

 

How scandalous.

 

 

''Oh my god, you thought I meant-'' I said.

 

''Yeah, I thought.'' Jacob says looking away.

 

 

There was no use for him to feel embarassed. It wasmy fault for not understanding or even asking to repeat his response before.

 

 

''Please don't feel bad.'' I said hugging his shoulders.

 

It took him a while before turning back to me.

 

I was just as embarassed as he was.

 

 

To think we both wanted 2 different things and thought that we'd agree on the same thing.

 

''No, i'm sorry. I didn't think you meant anything serious, I should feel bad.'' he says facing me.

 

 

''No you shouldn't. I should feel bad for addressing the fact and not getting into details, because I thought that we'd know each other  so well, so good enough to want the same thing.'' I reassured.

 

 

Jacob's head lowered down to mine as we stood in silence. I put my hand up to caress his cheek.

 

His hand slides down grabbing on to my wrist as I rub the soft skin on his cheek.

 

 

I look up at the subtle chin hair he had. Even being apart for a year, we've grown apart differently.

 

Even in the way we look.

 

 

''Look, I'm sorry for dragging you in here thinking about something clearly not on your mind. That was serious." I said

 

Jacob turns to face me, lips reaching to kiss my forehead.

 

"But if you...'' he says, his hand holding mine.

 

 

''If you wanna talk about our future, it's fine with me. Just as long as we clear up on things.'' he says.

 

I smile as he leans in for a kiss, but he hesitates. He grins, then sighs looking down.

 

 

I smiled widely, even resisting to kiss him only made me draw my lips near to his.

 

I pull his head to me as I plant a small kiss on his lips, we both return a smile. 

 

 

He pushes the button for the elevator to go up.

 

He looks back to me, and I have a big grin.

 

 

Even for just a few seconds there's no harm for a little makeout.

 

 

I pull away from the wall I leaned on and seductively walked over to him.

 

As soon as the elevator doors ding, were awakened to people on the other side waiting to get in.

 

We quickly part from each other avoiding eye contact

 

 

Even getting caught kissing was such a big deal for people.

 

I smiled and scratched the back of my hair before quickly leading myself out of the elevator.

 

Jacob follows behind me fast, to hold my hand as we both grinned stupidly and laughed our way to the room.

 

 

We hurry inside our hotel room where we go to plop down on the bed.

 

 

 

I was expecting to talk about marriage and possibly working more hours to afford an engagement ring.

 

Or if he had other plans besides me, but my thoughts were thrown out the window as I focused on us making out in the elevator and getting more explict with the second.

 

 

I missed feeling warm since we broke our little make out session.

 

 

I could tell Jacob missed it too.

 

 

''So what should we address first?'' I asked, my heels off.

 

 

Even just standing in heels made my feet pulse in spain, i'm glad we decided to come up instead of going back down into the embarassement of our friends.

 

 

 ''Well, I think we should talk about taking the next step.'' Jacob replied.

 

 

He lays comfortably on the bed as I follow his movements.

 

We lay on our sides facing each other.

 

Only inches away.

 

 

''Taking the next step, like doing something big.'' he replies.

 

''Yes, I think we should start talking about....marriage?'' I said.

 

 

I had to admit, I sort of flinched after saying that. We haven't talked about what we plan to do for the future.

 

Especially since I didn't plan to end up in jail.

 

Now we have to catch up on each other's thoughts.

 

 

''Marriage..?'' he says in surprise.

 

 

I had a downfall of regret, wash over me. He didn't seem happy or interested about the fact.

 

But I can't say that I regret not talking about it...finally.

 

 

''It's nothing. Just....stupid-'' I said.

 

''No, I wanna talk about it. It's not stupid, it's a real commitment we need to address since we've been together.'' he said.

 

''I know, 3 years. We've been together Jacob, for 3 years. Look at Rikki. Her relationship fell apart-'' I said.

 

 

''Look, Rikki has her own problems. Although her marriage did not work out,...ours is still on the table to talk about.'' he reassures me.

 

 

My anticipation had calmed down. Jacob reaches for my hands, rubbing it again.

 

Thinking of what Marybella and Rikki said, made it impossilbe for me to give a straight answer.

 

 

''You're right, i'm sorry. I was taking it too far, I should of thought first.'' I replied.

 

''Hey, it's okay. But we are still gonna talk about it right?'' Jacob insists.

 

 

I don't reply.

 

''Marriage. How we plan to spend the rest of our lives.'' he says.

 

 

I turn my head to the ceiling. ''Right, you go first.'' I said.

 

''What?'' Jacob says.

 

''You go first, tell me what you see in our future?'' I asked getting comfortable again.

 

 

Jacob smiles down at me, then continues to think.

 

He shakes his head one more time before turning to me.

 

''Well U see us in the future, together of course. Living in a house, with a ring on your finger and that's it.'' he says.

 

 

I shot up at the reasonable answer.

 

No idea of having kids?

 

I realized I had to be the one who had to address the kids situation. After all, I was kinda jealous of Marybella.

 

 

That I was not the first one, of my friends, to have kids or the second to get engaged.

 

 

''What about, a family in the future?'' I asked.

 

''You and me are family.'' he says.

 

 

Taking my hand, then kissing it.

 

His warm lips touch my bare skin. I felt a chill run through my hand as I stare back at him.

 

 

''But what about thw idea of a family, you know....kids?'' I implied.

 

''Kids.'' Jacob says with a laugh in his voice.

 

 

''Yes, kids, of course. Is that a problem for you?'' I asked serious.

 

''No, it's just...i've never thought about having kids.'' he says.

 

''Well, if you want. We can visit Carla in Venezuela during our free time this week. It'll be good practice for when we want kids.'' I insisted.

 

 

Jacob sighs.

 

He was not convinced. I had to come up with something better.

 

 

''Come on, don't you want a, little baby, Jacob jr. walking around on this earth?'' I said.

 

Jacob doesn't look at me. I sigh then lean back into the pillow below my head.

 

 

I was sad to see he wasn't interested in having kids, or even visiting Carla while on our stay here.

 

Maybe we both haven't addressed our feelings towards our future.

 

 

''Jacob?'' I whisper.

 

His attention is brought to me again, I still continue to look down at the sheets beneath me.

 

My eyes glooming around.

 

 

''I want babies...''

 

 

I continue to stare at the ivory sheets. His hand touches mine again, regaining our connection.

 

He reaches for my chin to look up at him.

 

''Look, I want you to be happy, and if kids is what you want...then I agree.'' he says.

 

 

My head shot up. Did he really agree to have a future of kids in our lives?

 

Was he really serious?

 

 

''You're serious, you want to have kids?'' I said and searched his eyes.

 

''Yes, and if it's gonna make you happy, then i'm aboard.'' he says.

 

''Really? You're not playing games are you? Because I really want to have kids and I want to know if you want kids too?'' I reassured him.

 

 

''Seeing you happy is a fact that makes me smile and feel happy too. I don't mind having a little mini me walking around on the streets. It gives me the chance to see my generation live.'' he said.

 

''Jacob, i'm so happy!!'' I yelled.

 

 

I quickly jump into his arms. My excitement takes over.

 

And I know we still have to talk about marriage, but for now, kids are on the table.

 

 

I feel the vibration of his laugh flow through my body as I lay still, hugging him. I was excited.

 

We had accomplished something for our future.

 

 

''So you really wanna have kids, in the future?'' I said lifting my head back up.

 

''Yes, I do.'' Jacob says.

 

 

I smile again leaning in for a hug.

 

 

''So should we address marriage now?'' he says as I climb back over to my side of the bed.

 

''I think it's time.'' I replied with a smile.

 

 

Chapter Ten: No Angel

 

  

''Alright everyone please board the bus, we'll be leaving in a few short minutes.'' said Lauren.

 

I was glad, that finally we we're finally out of the seminars and meetings we had all week.

 

I get to have one more free day before the big competition tomorrow.

 

 

I finally I get to see Carla.

 

 

''Alright everyone, buckle your seat belts. We'll be leaving from the small airport, then jet to our location from here. On our way back don't forget to bring your belongings.'' said our tour guide.

 

 

They had finally stopped talking, as we ride off just 12 miles to the airport.

 

I watched the sun gloom and glisten over the glass windows.

 

 

It was very early in the morning.

 

But it's was perfect enough for spending the whole day in Venezuela.

 

 -- 

 

The flowers, the beach houses and water all over the ground, was just as beautiful as Brazil.

 

And I'm absolutely amazed by it.

 

 

The sun sets up high in the sky as I look around.

 

 

''Okay make sure to shade yourselves for now, it's really hot up here. But it'll be better in a few minutes, once you get used to the weather up north of South America.'' our tour guide said.

 

 

Our tour guide fixes her hat, then, she hands each one of us a map.

 

It lists the tropical stops we were taking.

 

 

I took out my phone and stepped aside to see if I had any signal.

 

 

''No connection yet.'' I said looking back to the people along for the ride.

 

I put my phone away as Jacob approaches me.

 

 

''Hey, any signal?'' Jacob asked approaching.

 

''Nope.'' I replied.

 

 

''I'm actually glad we're up here. I'm really happy to see Carla again.'' he responds with a smile.

 

''Yeah. Well thanks to me, we get to see her again.'' I said.

 

 

''Everyone, gather together. Our first stop is to a cabana bar just up the street. They have a discount on free peńacolatas for the tour group.'' said our tour guide.

 

She and everyone else, hurries in a rush.

 

While me and Jacob are left behind.

 

 

We walk up an abnormal street, hoping to run into someone.

 

 

''Jacob?'' an unfamilar voice says.

 

I turn in confusion. Joe was right before our eyes.

 

I was surprised.

 

He looked so different, he had grown so much in the past few years.

 

 

''Elle? How are you guys?'' he asks.

 

 

My water bottle clings in my hands as I trot down to greet him.

 

''Fine. Just hiking up this road to get to your place.'' I said, pointing.

 

''Well, i'd be happy to give you a ride. Trust me, walking in this heat is bad.'' he says.

 

 

''Great, we'd love to.'' Jacob says.

 

''Elle are you fine with that? It's just a few miles from here.'' Joe says taking his car keys out.

 

''Sure.'' I replied.

 

 

The wind blows in my face as I stare out the window to a nice view of a beach ahead.

 

Local stores and shacks were surrounding the streets ahead.

 

Venezuela looked lovely.

 

 

''Nice country huh?'' Joe says breaking the long silence.

 

''Yes, very beautiful.'' I replied, looking back at him.

 

''So what's up with you guys? We haven't seen you in years. I was getting worried.''

 

''In years.'' I said jokingly.

 

 

I was barely in shock of the time we hadn't talked since the wedding.

 

How he changed so much.

 

Has it really been that long? Ever since I made the promise back then.

 

 

I've never became aware of the fact that it's been years.

 

Possibly 2, since i've talked to Carla. 

 

 

''Yeah, our little baby has grown up. You remember Max right?''

 

''Yes, Max. I remember. I never had to time to see him since-'' I started.

 

 

My mind had wondered back to Rosewood and New York.

 

What happened.

 

The consequences.

 

 

I didn't know if I should tell him. I didn't know him that well, tother than he's Carla's husband.

 

But I wanted to keep it a secret for now.

 

I will, eventually tell Carla once I see her.

 

 

''...We haven't talked since the wedding in Paris, remember?'' I said, following up my pause.

 

''Yes,...and we're here!'' Joe says.

 

  

I look up from him to the driveway. It was a big driveway with another car aligning in it.

 

A big house and everything. Blue tops and everything else white.

 

Joe and Carla, were living the high life.

 

 

''This is it. We hope you guys feel comfortable here, for the day.'' Joe says breaking me from my trance.

 

''No, we're gonna be comfortable alright. In seconds...I just....wow.'' I replied.

 

 

I wondered my way out from the car to the front door.

 

I opened the door and walk into the cool breeze of the house itself.

 

 

Jacob follows behind with Joe into the house, as I walk into around.

 

The inside of the house was so beautiful.

 

I was in shock. The satin decorations and white marble everything.

 

 

I was a little bit scared to think that this was better than my house.

 

And bigger.

 

 

''Oh wow, Joe...and Carla. You did an amazing job. You've out done yourselves.'' I said.

 

Joe walks ahead of us before we walk into the living room.

 

Carla stood there, in the middle looking back with a smile.

 

 

She looked elegant. She wore a pink orangey shirt with white shorts.

 

And her stomach showed a big bump.

 

I begin to gasp.

 

 

''We have a surprise.'' Joe says walking over to join Carla, rubbing her stomach.

 

''You guys are-'' I start.

 

''Pregnant...again.'' Carla says.

 

 

Her smiles perks up to her cheeks.

 

I was so glad to see her so happy.

 

 

I walk over hesitant to hug her, and she opens her arms.

 

And I give in.

 

I missed her.

 

 

''It's so good to see you again, Elle.'' she says to me.

 

I brought my arms tighter to her grip.

 

Her big stomach pushing into mine. 

 

We pulled back from our big embrace.

 

 

I smiled looking back and forth at Joe and Carla.

 

 

''So? When, did you get pregnant?'' I asked.

 

 

Joe looks up from placing snacks on the table in front of us.

 

''About 5 months ago.'' Joe answers.

 

 

Carla rubs her stomach again.

 

 

And from that second, part of me wanted to be Carla.

 

To have my stomach rubbed, for the fact of another human was being inside.

 

 

''We missed you so much. Even since me and Jacob left back to New York...how's Max?'' I ask.

 

Carla smiles excitdedly.

 

''He's here. Max honey can you come out!?'' she says towards a hallway.

 

 

What I was expecting was to see a little max. But it turned out to be a little big max.

 

He waved with his cute hands.

 

 

Dark brown hair, black and curly.

 

''Hi.'' he says.

 

 

I walk over from Carla to shake his hand.

 

''How are you?'' I asked.

 

 

I was amazed at how much he's grown up.

 

I never got to see baby pictures from Carla.

 

 

So seeing Max in the flesh was a big deal for me.

 

 

''Five.'' he says holding up his hand.

 

''Five, wow you're five years old.' I reassured him.

 

''Five.'' Max replied.

 

 

''Yep, five. I know.'' I replied.

 

 

''Five is his favorite word right now, that's all he says.'' Carla interuppts.

 

''So he's five?'' I asked as I played with Max's fingers.

 

 

He giggles, just like the way Taylor does.

 

''No, he's about to be 4 in a few weeks.'' Carla says.

 

''4?'' I said standing up straight.

 

 

I slowly pace over to where she stands.

 

''Wow, it's been that long.'' I said.

 

 

I moved closer to Jacob, who's sitting down.

 

 

Jacob reaches his arms around my shoulder as I sit down next to him.

 

He leans in to whisper.

 

''Hey, don't think about it. It's fine, they don't know.'' he says.

 

 

I nod my head, going back to the conversation. I see Carla placing Max on her lap as she sat down.

 

I was surprised by the room of her second baby, that she had space for Max to sit on her.

 

 

''So how long are you guys in for, maybe another week?'' Carla asks.

 

 

''No, we're going home in 3 days. We've already caught up on vacation time today, since we've been working hard for competition.'' I replied.

 

 

''Competition? Is there an event?'' Carla asks playing with Max.

 

''Yes, we;re in Brazil this week for this some competition. It's from where I work. Kind of a big thing. We didn't get to do it last year.'' I say.

 

 

My left leg shakes up and down, and my cheek flushes with a warm feeling.

 

The feeling of anxiety is clearly starting to show.

 

Jacob puts his hand on my left knee. And I instantly stop.

 

 

''Why didn't you come last year? If the event was also here?'' Carla asks.

 

''I,...don't think I can say.'' I start.

 

 

I was in shock of my voice.

 

Did I sound sincere or scared?

 

Carla's eyerbrows push together, her smile is clearly disappearing.

 

 

She probably thought I was playing a game, maybe even hiding something to say. 

 

Jacob takes a glance at me. My eyes still stare down at my feet for a minute.

 

 

''Were you doing something important that time?'' Carla asks finally.

 

 

I lift my head to face her. This was my excuse.

 

Something to get out of the truth, at least for a while.

 

 

''Yes, I was doing something.'' I replied.

 

 

Jacob starts to say something, but he backs out.

 

His sure enough expression made me feel bad about not addressing where I had actually been.

 

 

''Well, i'm so glad you're here this year.'' Carla says.

 

 

The happy vibe in the room returned, as things shifted back to normal.

  

My smile loosend up, as I look across the couch to Max.

 

 

 

''Well,...um, iIm happy to be here this year. And to see you again.'' I said, trying to push down my feelings.

 

''We're happy to have you here. Even if it's just for today." Carla says.

 

"Jacob, do you mind-'' Joe says.

 

He pointed his head to the balcony, motioning to go outside.

 

''Sure.'' Jacob says abrupty.

 

 

Joe and Jacob leave the room, exiting outside.

 

Carla' is playing with Max on her lap, his head bobbing side to side.

 

He wraps his lips around a toy truck as I watch him closely.

 

 

''So do you mind helping me make some snacks?'' Carla asks.

 

''Sure.'' I reply with a smile.

 

-- 

 

Carla places vegatables and pepper into a rice wrap.

 

She folds it in different directions, till it forms into a roll. 

 

I however, cut the celery in front of me into little pieces.

 

 

''So what's going on with you and Jacob? You guys seem almost awkward towards each other now. No type of fling in the conversation. I mean, since you guys had that fight in Paris, has it always been that way?'' Carla asks.

 

 She turns her head back to me, as she starts on another wet rice wrap ready to be used.

 

 

''Well, it's been...different. Since last year. But we're getting better at communicating.'' I replied.

 

 

I lied.

 

We don't know anything about each other anymore. Ever since we moved up to the suburbs of New York, we've been distant with our jobs.

 

But we've gotten through it pretty quickly, and we're making progress.

 

 

''It doesn't look like you guys are talking that much. Seems a bit different.'' Carla said turning to me.

 

I ignore her and look back at the knife, almost cutting my fingers.

 

I notice and step back.

 

 

''You're not telling me something.'' Carla says approaching me.

 

''What do you mean? I told you everything. I told you about the new workers at my company, I told you about the competition happening tomorrow and about me and Jacob.'' I exclaimed.

 

 

I clear my throat for preparation of her torturing.

 

Carla knew how to get the truth out of me.

 

 

''Tell me what's going on.'' Carla says in a stern voice.

 

 

I finally look up and set the knife down.

 

I didn't want to attempt to hurt myself or her, while i'm still trying to make things better.

 

''Okay. Before my big meet up with my blog fans...I sort of, had to make a pit stop.....at the police station.'' I said.

 

 

I flinched ready for her massive yelling.

 

''What!? Oh my god, what happened?'' she said.

 

 

She went over into the living room, before coming back into the kitchen. Closing the door behind her.

 

She steps forward, her eyes on me.

 

''You went to the police station? What happened did someone get hurt?'' Carla says concerned.

 

 

Her voice gets low as I inch to move away.

 

 

''No Carla, I went to jail. I got stripped from my friend's hands in the hospital ,where she was being treated. I got pulled away into jail. I served a year in jail.'' I shot back.

 

 

All Carla did was stand in awe, her hands covering her mouth.

 

Shock rose her my face. She never looked so horrified at me .

 

 

 

''What happened? Why did you get sent to jail?'' Carla almost yelled.

 

Her voice echoed in my head for a minute.

 

I tried not to look up.

 

 

I had enough of trying to hide it.

 

 

''For killing my dad,...my step-dad. I told you back in London, how I ran away from home right?'

 

She nods her head, hesitating at first.

 

''I never told you why. Because, I murdered my dad.'' I replied softly.

 

 

It took a minute for Carla to reply, and she finally did.

 

Her hands steady on the counter top.

 

 

''I had a huge fight with my mom, she went to work and I went inside the house. My dad was around when she left, then...everything went blank. He tried to stop me, but I kept on going. Then I ...i-'' I said.

 

 

I slowly felt the tears form in my eyes.

 

It was still a traumatizing moment to reflect on.

 

Carla's voice silently gasped. Her eyes filled with pools of tears.

 

 

''Elle...'' she finally said.

 

''I don't want your apology or emotions to have an effect on me. I just need you to listen.'' I said.

 

 

My eyes glare at her as she wipes away her tears.

 

I look over to the open window with the view of the ocean and houses in the distance.

 

 

 

''I killed him, my own dad. Then I found out later, that he was my step dad. I was so upset with Jaocb before you came to Paris with Joe. I left for Mumbai and...I found my real dad.'' I replied.

 

Carla covers her mouth again.

 

Instead of feeling the need to hug me, she stands still, watching me.

 

 

''My real dad was alive and in Mumbai, my mom lied to me. Then I got into a fight with her and things sort of drifted off from there.'' I said trailing off.

 

 

''Elle, is this true?'' Carla asks.

 

I finally look up, then nod my head. She tries not to make a sound, but she manages to let out a breath of relief.

 

Shock rose in her eyes as she looked around.

 

 

Finally she looked at me, but as if I were a stranger.

 

A new person who just existed.

 

And I was afriad that might happen.

 

 

Carla wouldn't see me the same way again, that's why I tried not to tell anyone.

 

Because I knew they would react this way.

 

 

''Then after finding my dad, I returned back to Paris, where we prepped for your wedding. Then me and Jacob had an argument and made up, that night at your wedding reception.'' I said.

 

 

I looked down trying to avoid eye contact with her.

 

''And everything's been normal since?'' Carla finally said.

 

 

Carla gives me a look. She knew I wasn't telling the whole truth with those last words.

 

But she didn't know about the hate fan mail, or the reactions I get when someone asks how long me and Jacob have been together.

 

How long we've lived in a house, together.

 

 

And it still scares me how much i've put myself in this constant mess, that I keep reminiscing. 

 

 

''Everything is not normal, your life isn't normal. Think about what happened in the past-'' Carla reassured me.

 

''But I don't want to think about the past. I don't want live in the past!'' I yelled back.

 

 

Carla backed up to let some air part between us.

 

I was tired of having to live ruthless and feel sorry myself.

 

 

To have everyone look at me like i'm an alien now.

 

I was tired of going back to the past.

 

 

''My past does not define me anymore. I went to jail, I served my time and now i'm out trying to figure out what my next plan is. Don't make it any harder.'' I shot back.

 

 

Carla approaches me again, she rubs my left arm as I shake my head rubbing my temples.

 

 

''I'm sorry I reacted the way...it's just you've never been specific about anything in your life. That's why the news was so shocking to me.'' Carla admits.

 

 

I finally looked up to see her eyes stare back into mine.

 

Happiness rose in my face again.

 

''I was part of your past, and I don't want to forgotten. Rosewood, was a memory. London was just a place for you to escape, Paris was your dream and Mumbai was your hope. New York is your home,...'' she said.

 

 

I'm silent for a second as she tries to calm me down.

 

 

''Thanks.'' I managed to replied.

 

Carla pulls me in for a hug, ease comes to mind as I squeeze her back.

 

Her tummy filling the gap between us.

 

 

And I was sure in that moment, to visit Carla again.

 

 --

 

Rikki sways her wine as she stares back to me, I however stared down at my beachy sundress.

 

At the hem at anything. I tried to ignore the tension.

 

 

Lunch was less louder than usual.

 

Rikki sucks at her teeth as I tried to come up with a good thing to say.

 

I take a deep breath. "I-"

 

''First of all, you wanna just leave the dinner party. Then, you wanna take away the time we had to relax and have girls night in, so you can jet off to Venezuela without telling any one of us?'' Rikki says.

 

 

''Look, I just can't explain...everything.'' I replied.

 

''No, explain.'' Rikki finally says.

 

 

Her stern look meant business. Jacob gives me a look.

 

If I told them about our scandalous moment in the elevator, they'll all be shocked.

 

 

 I sigh and finally answer.

 

''I promised a long time ago, that i'd visit an old friend from London that moved to Venezuela. So that's why I was gone today with Jacob.'' I said truthfully.

 

 

Rikki and Marybella burst from their worry bubble.

 

Like they never did before.

 

 

''Why didn't you tell any of us?'' Rikki says.

 

''Yeah, yesterday we were suppose to eat ice cream in my room and watch My Best Friend's Wedding. In HD!! They came out with a new version.'' Marybela complained.

 

 

''Okay sorry, I admit, I was kinda out of mind this week. But i'm back and it's almost over.'' I reply.

 

Finally the crowd of questions and confusion had passed by.

 

 

''By the way what happened to you guys after the dinner party yesterday night?'' Mark asks looking at Jacob.

 

''Uh...'' Jacob started.

 

I interuppt.

 

 

''We had a talk.'' I said looking straight at everyone.

 

 

Rikki gives me googly eyes as I try to continue.

 

I roll my eyes and come up with an excuse.

 

 

''We decided a few things for the future, and we didn't want to have to say it during a dinner. Okay, happy?'' I said.

 

''So what's the situation? Are you guys-'' Marybella asked.

 

I turn to her.

 

 

''Yes.'' I replied.

 

''I can't believe you're getting engaged! Oh, where's the ring?'' Marybella said loudly.

 

''No Bella, we're not getting engaged.'' I replied.

 

 

Bella ignores me, her fingers circling my mine trying to find the ring.

 

Her upset concern turns to me.

 

She then lets down my hand.

 

 

''Why?'' she said softly.

 

Rikki shushed her as heads turned to our table.

 

God, thanks Marybella.

 

 

''We haven't decided on when we are getting engaged. But we are planning to set a date for an engagement party.'' I assured her.

 

''So you're gonna plan a party for your possible engagement?'' Bella asks anxious.

 

''Me and Jacob will get engaged, soon.'' I reply.

 

 

A smile rose across her face. I knew hearing those words would make her happy.

 

But now I have to make up from our girls night.

 

 

I sat back down in my chair a little more comfortable as the gang continued to chat quietly again.

  

''I'm tired.'' I whispered to Jacob.

 

He pats my arm as I lean onto his shoulder.

 

"Me too," he says.

 

Chapter Eleven: The A Team

 

The phone rang as my eyes budopen. My phone screen came into view as iIyawned.

 

I grabbed it then looked at the time.

 

6:05 AM

 

 

Lauren made it a priority to wakie up early.

 

I groaned, then set down my phone.

 

I got up and luckily, almost tripped on the sheets.

 

 

Jacob was still in bed, sound asleep.

 

 

We had at least 2 hours of work and practice left before we go on to competition today.

 

It was happening.

 

Today was officially competition day.

 

 

I headed to the bathroom and locked the door. I needed all the relaxing moments I can get before my stomach tightens with nerves.

 

 

I could just imagine myself. Going on stage and falling off.

 

Just the thought made me shiver in the bathroom.

 

 

Then, I got undressed to took a shower.

 

 

I began to scrub as hard as I can from the thoughts of competition.

 

Then I realized I left a bruise on my forearm.

 

I groaned and continued, being careful.

 

 

 

I shut the water off then dried off. My clothes on the table near the sink.

 

I put on my new black t-shirt, along with green pants.

 

 

I walk back into the bedroom after. Jacob was still alseep.

 

I adjusted my shoes after putting on socks.

 

 

I head down to breakfast ,as the nervous butterflies were already starting to flood in.

 

I was gonna fail, but i've been working all week.

 

 

Sessions with Lauren and practices with Jeff.

 

It's gonna be easy peasy.

 

Maybe.

 

 

''Good morning, nervous?'' Rikki said joining me to the elevator.

 

 

She had spent most of her time up in Bella's room since I was missing from most of our stay here.

 

I was starting to get used to seeing her up here more.

 

Besides, it was better.

 

 

''I was so nervous, I practically scrubbed  myself so hard, that I left a mark on my forearm in the shower. See?'' I said pointing out the red mark on my skin.

 

 

''Beats me. I practically cut myself with shaving. That's why i'm wearing long jeans today.'' Rikki replied.

 

''What about Marybella?'' I said as we went down.

 

 

The elevator door dings and opens, as we see Bella standing in front of us near the lobby.

 

She sighs as we head towards the right for breakfast.

 

 

''This is the worst morning ever. I had to wrestle Mark off me when I got up. And my hairstyle is not as good this morning.'' Marybella said.

 

She pointed to her possib bird's nest bun on her head.

 

It looked like a wreck.

 

Bella sighs agian.

 

 

''By far the worst from us all.'' I replied.

 

''What does you mean?'' she asks.

 

''Me and Rikki left bruises on our skin and you have a bird's nest on your head.'' I reply trying not to laugh.

 

 

Marybella starts to laugh.

 

 

Then we follow behind Marybella to our table.

 

It was kinda funny. Her head could fit a whole family of blue jays.

 

 

As Rikki and Marybella hurry to get in line for food, i'm still wondering when the sun's going to come up.

 

This is way to early for any of us to be up prepping for competition.

 

Way to early.

 

 

 

''Alright, everyone let's get started. We'll have early sessions with the bosses this morning. Writers and editors meet with me in the Cabana meeting house. Designers and models, meet with Vanessa in the competition's head quarters private show case room. And photographers outside on the golf course. Then interns, you're with me.'' Lauren said.

 

 

The crowd of employees look back to their plates, as I slurped the last of my drink before i'm dragged up suddenly.

 

Walt, grabs a hold of my hand.

 

His strong muscles had a good grip. I couldn't get free from it.

 

 

I look to see that Rikki and Bella had left our table.

 

 

''Sorry to interuppt breakfast, but we need a minute before our competition meeting in the cabana.'' Walt says.

 

I'm sat down at a different table by him

 

And I notice everyone at the table.

 

 

That's one of the casual problems with being a writer, you get dragged into everything.

 

I sit down as others prepared to listen.

 

 

''Since the competition this year is different. I want to address that our main writer, Elle, will be taking the spot for writer of the year.''

 

''Wait? writer of the year, what does that have to do with me?'' I asked.

 

Lauren leans in to speak.

 

''It means you're our writer representative for FARELLE magazine. It means you're our best shot for winning in the top categories this year.'' Lauren says.

 

 

''So basically the whole world of this competition is on my hands?'' I replied.

 

''Yes. Exactly, and for Sara, she's taking the spot for most experienced intern. While Walt, our new intern is taking the intern course essay.'' Lauren says.

 

 

Jeff interuppts just in time.

 

The nervous knot in my stomach had brewed away.

 

He was my savior.

 

 

''Lauren, I have news.'' he says.

 

He gives me a wink, I smile back.

  

 

Lauren sighs, then leaves to follow alongside Jeff. Leaving me and the other writers and editors behind.

 

Sara finally joins our table as Lauren is clear out of sight. 

 

 

All eyes on her, of course. Most of our intern writers depended on her to make the competition good when it's her turn.

 

But part of the pressure was on me.

 

Lauren comes back in a few seconds.

 

 

''Sorry for the quick message. Jeff informed me about a problem with KARL magazine. Unfortunately they almost lost their best model to suicide attempt.'' Lauren says.

 

''Oh my god, that's horrible.'' Sara shot back.

 

 

''I know,...but back to work. Sessions begin after breakfast in the cabana. All I can tell you is be ready.'' Lauren says.

 

 

Lauren gathered papers in her hands and headed towards the beach with Jeff following beside her.

 

Everyone returns to their tables.

 

Rikki and Marybella bite their lips waiting for me.

 

 

Competition was gonna be even harder today, thank god we get practice beforehand.

  

--

 

''Alright, pull up the word app document and start typing away. You have 15 minutes to write me up a whole chapter on just the nature and beauty of things.'' she says.

 

Lauren scouts the cabana, her eyes touch mine as I glare back.

 

''Begin!'' she yelled.

 

 

"The trees are very pretty. Nothing can replace the thought of beautiful trees in nature...."

 

 

 God, I can't even come up with a good sentence to start with.

 

My frustration grew bigger as I huffed at my possible chapter beginning.

 

 

I tried again, this time typing slowly.

 

 

''14 minutes.'' Lauren says walking by.

 

 

I close my eyes, then look back up at the blank screen.

 

I turned abruptly and looked out into the ocean ahead of me for a bit.

 

 

The beach is so soulful. The water calming.

 

The crashing waves and the crips taste of salt.

 

I had an idea.

 

 

"Though the water may be screaming my name, it's knows it'll brighten the shores with just a little love. Love is the answer, to everything. Believing that somewhere out there, you will have someone's love. Either through a flower, or a simple sweet honey kiss. It's a beautiful thing to be called someone's love....''

 

 

My typing went fast as I continued. The story and dialouge getting longer.

 

I wrote and wrote about the love for the sea, my love for the sea and the beautiful beauty of love for god's sake.

 

 

  

''And time's up.'' Lauren said.

 

She came over to my laptop first, reading slowly but fast with every sentence. Lauren searches the words as I stare at the amazement look in her eyes.

 

It was at least 544 words long, practically almost a chapter.

 

 

But I was proud of my work, how much i've changed to get better.

 

 

Lauren leans up from her position. Her hands linger on my chair as I glare back for my answer.

 

She smiles greatfully then moving on to the next person.

 

 

A smile from Lauren usually means that I surprised her. Maybe even shocked her a little bit.

 

And the nervous knot in my stomach had disappeared.

 

But I knew it was going to come back in a few hours.

 

 

 

''Moving along. One more essay to write. It has to be 2 pages long. Even longer if you prefer dialouge.'' Lauren points out.

 

''This is basically your life in my hands, if you write well...we win and get the the troph. If we lose, then better luck next year.'' she implied.

 

 

Everyone's eyes grew wide as she strolled the aisles of open laptops and interns just 3 tables down. 

 

 

''So I want your fingers to get to work almost. We have to compete, type my little dandelions. Type!!'' she confirmed.

 

''I want you all to write an essay on FARELLE magazine and the lucky chances some of you have experienced.'' Lauren said.

 

 

She was basically pointing a finger at me.

 

Sure I was her favorite, but it doesn't mean she's purposely pointing at me for something I was good at.

 

''Go!'' Lauren said.

 

--

 

''Hey, I brought the tea bags.'' Rikki says as she enters into Bella's hotel room.

 

 

I was too busy looking at the massive spill of clothes on the ground to notice her in my view.

 

How could Marybella focus on the competition, if her room's a mess when she leaves.

 

 

''How on earth are you gonna stay focused, if you come back to a messy room.'' Rikki finally confessed.

 

''Easy, cleaning is my remedy. You guys drink your tea and relax, while I clean up.'' she replies.

 

 

She continued, folding clothes as I sat comfortably on the ground. While Rikki brings water in a pitcher to our sitting spot on the ground nearing Bella's bed.

 

Rikki sets down a tray of 2 cups with tea bags already in them.

 

Aongside sugar packets and the pitcher afterwards.

 

 

''Tea for the tension. Peppermint or ginger?'' she said.

 

''Ginger, I need all the tea I can get before competition.'' I replied.

 

 

The ginger washes over the nervous knot built up in my stomach since the practice sessions.

 

Rikki sighs in relief as we take in a moment of silence.

 

 

I open my eyes after a second to look to my watch.

 

My eyes widen.

 

I take one more sip before setting down my cup.

 

 

''I have to go. I have a massage in 13 minutes, see you during competiion time.'' I said.

 

''Hey, that's not fair.'' Rikki yells after me.

 

''Nothing's fair.'' I said as I exited.

 

 --

 

The relaxing, quiet room flowed into me as my smile perked up.

 

''Is this okay?'' asked my masseuse.

 

''Yes.'' I replied softly.

 

 

My tense muscles loosened as I layed still.

 

The masseuse's hands pressed continuously into my back.

 

 

And the smell of the massaging oil filled my lungs, as I layed happily with a smile on my face.

 

This was the first and best massage.

 

Then, as my thoughts subsided, the timer goes off and I open my eyes.

 

 

''Time's up. Cmpetition in a couple minutes. Get ready, a message from Lauren.'' My masseuse says.

 

Of course Lauren would inturuppt my massage to tell a message.

 

I got off the table, as the masseuse gathers her things and left the room in silence. The table being pulled behind her.

 

I clinged to the sheets on my body.

 

I shuffled around to cover myself up as I streched from my relaxing position.

 

I was comfortable.

 

 

But then I heard the door click.

 

 

Heavy footsteps enter. It wasn't the masseuse's footsteps.

 

I'm was quickly alert.

 

 

Jacob comes into view as I stumble to keep my body covered up.

 

A small smile comes across his face.

 

He probably thought that he caught a glimpse of me before I sat down.

 

 

''What are you looking at?'' I said, unaware of the sound of my voice.

 

I said it a little too quickly and out of nowhere.

 

 

''Why are you covered in sheets?'' he asked.

 

''I got a massage before the competition. It just ended a minute ago.'' I answered.

 

 

I quickly cover the bare exposure of my leg, as I casually tried to remain calm and collected.

 

 

Jacob walks over to where I'm sitting, and leans onto the bed.

 

He nears his head to my ear, as I felt his hot breath nearing my neck.

 

It gave me goosebumps.

 

 

''By the way, if you think I saw anything, I didn't. I only saw your legs.'' he said.

 

 

I quickly got up from embarassment and went to the bathroom.

 

Jacob might have caught another glimpse of me partially flustered from the moment.

 

 

I quickly put on my clothes from earlier, and I gave myself a pep talk as I looked in the mirror.

 

The knots in my stomach had returned.

 

This realization was excruciating.

 

 

Even just for a day.

 

 

''You can do this. You're gonna get out there and win.'' I said to myself.

 

 

I looked at my reflection one more time, then opened the bathroom door walking back into the bedroom.

 

I rush by Jacobs without speaking another word. 

 

Jacob follows behind as my confidence flared.

 

 

I exit our room as I heard the door close behind us

 

 

When I reached the elevators, I grew weak again.

 

The same feeling I had this morning.

 

I slowed down my pace and came to a stop.

 

 

''You okay?'' Jacob says next to me.

 

''Yes, just a bit nervous.'' I replied.

 

 

The elevator dings as the doors open. I walk in and Jacob joins me.

 

Silence grew inside the elevator as it reached the lobby floor.

 

 

The doors open again and I walk out.

 

I see Marybella near the lobby. She's pacing back and forth.

 

 

Rikki had a drink in her hands.

 

It was too late in the day to drink now.

 

 

I sighed deeply and walked over to where she sat. I swiped the drink from her hand.

 

Rikki looks at me, astonished.

 

 

''Hey, that's my drink!'' she says.

 

 

Rikki reaches for it again, but I place it on a nearby tray being taken back by a server.

 

''You need to be sober.'' I said.

 

Rikki pouts, sitting back down.

 

 

As she sits down, I look over my shoulder to see how Bella's doing.

 

 

Marybella's eyes shift to me. Her nervousness overcomes her body as she begins to shake.

 

I've never seen her this anxious before.

 

 

''Bella, calm down, it's okay. We're gonna be fine.'' I replied, sitting down next to her.

 

I rubbed her arms up and down as she bit her nails.

 

She stares at a table in front of us before speaking.

 

 

''How can I calm down when i'm about to go on stage and strut my stuff. It's the first thing for the competition. The fashion show case is a big deal and I have stage fright.'' she replies.

 

She bites her nails again as I tried to calm her down.

 

I put my arms over her, hugging her.

 

She leans in, relaxing.

 

 

''We haven't even left for competition yest. If that helps.'' I say.

 

 

Even in a moment of stress, I had to be the strong one.

 

''You're nervous too?'' she replied.

 

''Yes, all people get nervous. Especially since i'm the one representing a big part of FARELLE. We all have a part in this, so don't be nervous.'' I replied to her.

 

 

''If anyone should be more nervous it's me.'' Rikki said.

 

I breifly turn to Rikki.

 

''Alright people, competition is starting. Let's head up to headquarters and sign in. All writers and editors in the 1st bus outside, photography and camera workers in the second and models as well as designers in the thrid, and lastly interns in the 4th bus.'' Lauren announced.

 

 

Even her exitement had ignited more fear into me.

 

Jacob grabs my hand as we all stand up to leave to our separate bus outside.

 

 

''It's okay, you'll be fine.'' he says.

 

He kisses my cheek as we walk out into the hot blaring sun outside.

 

The buses were outside waiting.

 

 

I head for my bus with Jacob still holding my hand.

 

Lauren approaches us as I enter onto the bus.

 

 

''Hold on, plus 1's are back with the interns.'' she says to Jacob.

 

''What? But I need him.'' I complained.

 

 

I probably won't function without Jacob near me, especially on a bus. I might pull over and get sick while we ride on our way up.

 

 

''Sorry, all plus 1's ride and sit with interns. I don't know if I announced it earlier, but it's an exception from the first day.'' Lauren replied.

 

 

I sighed.

 

Me and Jacob walk off to the side.

 

 

''I won't be able to function if you're not with me. I'm practically nervous for god's sake.'' I said.

 

''Relax, i'll be fine. When we arrive at headquarters, i'll be there when you get off the bus,...okay?'' he says.

 

 

''Okay.'' I finally said.

 

 

He kisses my forehead, then leaves for the 4th bus.

 

I watch him go, as my fear to be relaxed goes away.

 

''Last call everyone. Board the buses!'' Lauren announced.

 

 

I waved goodbye to Jacob as I watched him disappear into the crowd of intern's boarding the bus.

 

Then I get in, finding a seat.

 

Even without Jacob, I felt alone on the bus.

 

 

All famaliar faces I saw and Lauren with Vanessa seated together. 

 

 

I sat in a seat up front. The seat beside mine open.

 

Hopefully nobody will sit there. I wanted to imagine Jacob's still here with me.

 

Holding my hand, making me feel comfortable.

 

--

  

It seemed like a boring ride up, without Jacob I had no one to look over to. 

 

I was also separated from my friends.

 

They were on different bus.

 

 

 

I looked at my hands, still soft and silky.

 

Me and Jacob have talked up a storm about marriage that night of the celebration dinner.

 

That made my mood a little better as the bus comes to a hault.

 

 

I look outside the window. We were nearing the competition headquarters.

 

The red light turns green as we chug up the small slope of a mountain.

 

 

The buses are parked out front near the entrance doors. The tents have disappeared from the last time and it reveals the building inside.

 

 

''I can smell the fear.'' Lauren says as she gets off the bus.

 

My other co-workers follow behind.

 

I shade my eyes from the sun as it glared on my face.

 

 

I look around waiting for Jacob He said he was gonna be by my side when I get off.

 

I search through the crowd.

 

 

Someone swope's behind me as i'm startled by the sudden movement.

 

Soft hands grip my waist as I turn to see who it is.

 

 

Jacob's smile comes over his face, and a little joy of happiness spreads in my heart.

 

I smile back.

 

 

''See, I told you i'd be by your side.'' he said.

 

 

We both walk into the entrance hand in hand, while the others do the same.

 

The big building appeared larger than usual. The seminar center is near the sign up tables.

 

Lauren rounds us all to one side.

 

 

Everyone scrunches together to squeeze in a circle.

 

''Okay, it's competition time. Remember to pay attention to the rules, it's important you pay attention. If you don't, we automatically disqualify.'' she says.

 

''Remember, do your best and forget the other companies. They're nothing but trash compared to us when we win.'' Lauren said.

 

 

''Alright, sign up and meet up in our assigned seats for the fashion show case. Our designers worked hard this year to create dresses, so thank our models who strut it.'' Lauren finally said.

 

 

The crowd of FARELLE workers disappear to sign in.

 

I follow behind, searching the crowd for Rikki and Marybella.

 

I spot Rikki already signing in And Marybella in sight from a distance.

 

 

''Marybella!'' I yelled.

 

 

She turns her head from Mark, she waves back as we meet in the middle.

 

We exchange a small hug before we get back in line.

 

I was even nervous to sign my name in, my hands were sweaty and I grew more nervous as the line neared closer to my turn.

 

 

''It's okay, you'll be fine.'' Jacob reassures me.

 

He holds my hand.

 

 

I smile back, Marybella rushes behind me as she wraps her arms around my waist.

 

I knew she'd get nervous because she was going on first, so I let her hold on to me.

 

 

The line get's shorter and shorter as we're next after a couple of interns.

 

I take a deep breath as they leave.

 

 

I stare down at the 1 person who was signing us in

 

I pause and shuddered.

 

 

Jacob steps in as I stare down at table nervously.

 

 

''Hi, signing in as Elle Woods and her plus 1.'' he says.

 

''Okay.'' says the worker.

 

 

She hands over 2 stickers with our names on it.

 

I take my sticker and pull to my hands.

 

''Thank you.'' I reply to Jacob.

 

 

I walk away from my embarassment Jacob pats my back as I look elsewhere.

 

I was a total freak show just for a few seconds.

 

Then, Marybella comes crawling behind.

 

 

Her possible nervous break down made her speechless.

 

 

''Alright models, enter into the clothing room. Get dressed for the first show, come on.'' Vanessa announces.

 

Marybella's eyes were stuck on me as Vanessa pushes Bella aside to follow the other models.

 

 

 

''Alright, writer and editor. Here's you certified VIP pass.'' Lauren says approaching me.

 

I turn to her, as my eyes leave Bella.

 

She pulls it over my head, pulling it down towards my neck.

 

 

''Wait, i'm a certified VIP?'' I said.

 

''Of course. Everyone has one except for the interns and +1's.'' Lauren said smiling at me.

 

I look down astonished. I had made it. VIP.

 

 

''Well, on with the show. See you in a bit.'' Lauren trailed off to the entrance.

 

 

Me, Jacob and Mark are left just a few feet away from the seating entrance.

 

Rikki finally joins us from the free sponsered t-shirt shack.

 

 

''I got so many free shirts.'' Rikki said.

 

She held up 2 t-shirts, with the words in big letters Annual Magazine Company Face Off's.

 

She held up a water bottle along with it.

 

 

''No time for souvenirs, let's get to our seats before all the good ones are taken.'' I replied, throwing bag from her hand on the ground.

 

She doesn't react fast enough, and I lead her to follow me.

 

 

We all enter into the showcase room It was extensively built and white.

 

They had bold LED lights flashing conintuously.

 

I was amazed in awe of the view.

 

 

''Look, FARELLE Magazine Company'' someone said.

 

I pointed to a sign taped to a big row of seats.

 

''But they all have sections.'' Rikki said, pointing to the seat labels.

 

 

I wasn't able to sit next to Jacob, but at least i'll have Rikki partially behind me.

 

Since she's with photography.

 

And Marybella will be in close sight, since the front row is close to the cat walk.

 

 

 

I take my seat in the first row.

 

I then turn around to see Jacob, sitting near the back with the interns.

 

Many of our co-workers entered the show case finding their seats.

 

 

Lauren and Vanessa, shuffle their way beside me. While I settle down, i'm brought to the attention of Marcus who showed up unexpectedly.

 

 

''I'm here!!'' he yelled.

 

He props his hand up in the air, as he smiled really wide.

 

 

Everyone's attention was brought to him.

 

I haven't seen him since before the trip to Brazil.

 

It was weird seeing Marcus out of the work place.

 

 

''Marcus, how nice of you to come. Where have you been?'' Vanessa says.

 

''I've been basking in the nature trail of pennslyvania with my grandma while you guys were here. But when I heard about today being competition time,.. I had to come down to see for myself.'' he replies.

 

 

He came all the way from Pennslyvania to Brazil?

 

''Nice to see you Marcus.'' Lauren interuppted.

 

''Hi, Lauren.'' he says.

 

 

His hands wave in the air to her, but then he has a strict woman who comes from behind.

 

Marcus turns to see her.

 

The woman's expression is angry. Boiling mad.

 

 

''Off the stage. Shoo!!'' she says.

 

 

Marcus avoids the angry woman and starts running towards Vanessa. The both of them fight over the seating chart for a bit, as they try to fit in another chair in the front row.

 

 

I had my head turned to see Rikki, who waved back to me.

 

In the corner of my eye, I see Sara enter in with Kyle.

 

 

She searches the rows.

 

Even after our small talk earlier this past week, my eyes were still glued to her.

 

 

How she managed to go to great lengths to help us go on vacation.

 

She deserved a little recognition.

 

''Attention everyone-'' says the announcer.

 

 

Everyone's heads turn to the voice with the mic, the announcer in a faint gown.

 

Her pale skin illuminated the room with the bright photoshoot lights.

 

 

''Welcome to the first comepetition category of the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's. We are very glad to see one of our favorite companies join this year.''

 

 

Lauren blows a kiss to the annoncer, the annoncer winks back at her. 

 

 

''First up, we have AUSSIE magazine, showing off their designer's new line for the company it'self. Introducing their designer, Christian.'' the announcer says.

 

 

The designer showed his face on camera from his seat in the big crowd of company workers.

 

 

Music started playing, as strobe lights flashed around as if it was an abstract party.

 

Models came out dressed in unusual clothing that I didn't recognize.

 

 

I didn't know much about high fashion, but I can tell you it can get crazy by the year.

 

Several minutes pass as the last of the line from Christian ends.

 

 

The models clear the way as the annonucer makes her way up the catwalk again.

 

Claps go around as it begins to quiet down.

 

 

''And now for ARRANGED magazine. Showing off their designer's line for a sponsor. Introducing ARRANGED'S designer Shawntell.'' says the announcer.

 

 

Again, strong vibed music played as the models come in. All beautiful.

 

ARRANGED magazine must be a foreign magazine from what I remember.

 

 

As the time passed, I grew tired and anxious for the competition to be over for fashion.

 

It grew from 1 hour to 2.

 

It took a really long time for every company. Even KARL magazine.

 

 

 

''And now, for FARELLE magazine. Showing off their designer's line for the spring season of the year. We introduce FARELLE's designer Maggie.'' says the announcer.

 

 

Lauren claps excidedly from her chair as, Maggie, our designer waves to the camera.

 

The models walk to the music as they come out.

 

 

Maggie did a fanatastic job on her line for us.

 

And I saw Marybella.

 

 

A big smile came across her face as she walked down the runway posing for the camera.

 

She hurries back to the runway strip, then exits off the stage.

 

Everyone from FARELLE claps excited to see our team compete. I clapped just as much as Lauren did when the models left.

 

--

 

''I'm so glad the fashion show case is over, it took so long.'' Marybella said.

 

She had dressed out of her runway outfit and joined us to eat.

 

 

Just before leaving the building, we were stopped by Lauren and Vanessa.

 

 

''FARELLE workers, you have 20 minutes to get lunch then come back for the Camera Mags Competition coming up next. So be quick to eat.'' Lauren said first.

 

''If you can't afford lunch, then feel free to take the provided lunch at the Tiki Bar down in the 2nd Hall. Just to your right.'' Vanessa added.

 

And just like that we were off.

 

 

''I'm so hungry from the show case. It took forever with LIMIT magazine." Marybella said.

 

"They're all that and stuff.'' I said, pushing a grape through my mouth.

 

''Show off's.'' Rikki started.

 

 

We see her narrow her eyes in a direction and I follow.

 

We all turn our heads and follow her eyes from the picnic table outside.

 

In the bright sun, we can see LIMIT magazine workers approach our table.

 

 

''Nice day for competition huh?'' said one of them.

 

She was the same girl from before. Tall, sunkissed skin and had fierce eyes.

 

 

She rolled a smile on her face as her friends followed behind, leaving elsewhere.

 

 

It's dead silent as Bella tried to rebirth our conversation.

 

''We're obviously gonna win.'' Marybella said abruptly.

 

''Don't worry, you're going to win.'' Mark said to her.

 

 

 

''Come on, the next competition will be on in a few minutes. Better make it back early.'' Rikki suggested.

 

We all threw away our plastic spoons and leftovers, as we walk to the headquarters site.

 

The sun blaring on our skin.

 

  

Lauren and Vanessa sigh in relief as we approach.

 

 

''Finally you guys are here, I thought you'd bail.'' Lauren says.

 

''Well w'ere here, so where is the next competition being held?'' I answered.

 

''In the outside tents, of course.'' Vanessa replies.

 

 

  

''Ladies and Gentlemen, please take your seats.'' said an announcer.

 

We all found our assigned area of seats, as Rikki wents up to compete for the Camera Mags Competition.

 

She gives me a thumbs up before heading to grab her camera.

 

 

A quiet voice comes onto the mic as judges watch the photographers take pictures.

 

Prepping for real competition.

 

 

''All participants in this category, please take your stand as we prepare for the Camera Mags Company Competition. Again please sign in for provided cameras and take your stand.'' said the man.

 

 

The crowd and company workers quiet down as I watch Rikki in action.

 

 

I was surprised by how many guys were in the photograph category.

 

It seems like Rikki was the only girl.

 

 

''For the 6 magazine companies in competition, prepare for the 3 stages of the photography category.'' says the announcer.

 

''Just get on with it!!'' someone yelled from the seats below.

 

 

The announcer sighs then turns the mic down.

 

''You may begin. First up, FARELLE magazine.'' the announcer says.

 

 

 

Rikki goes at it, taking as many shots as she can. The angle and her fingersare  in place as she changes her position to take more shots.

 

 

Several shots later, she's done and taps the bell on the judges table.

 

I clap excitedly as Marybella does too.

 

 

She smiles into the crowd, looking for us.

 

I couldn't be more proud of her.

 

Chapter Twelve: Paint The Canvas

 

 ''Great competition right?'' Rikki says.

 

''I know, that AUSSIE company worker didn't stand a chance against you.'' I replied.

 

''I know. Now all we need is, you to complete the competition so we can go back home.'' Rikki says putting her arm over my left shoulder.

 

 

I slow down my pace as I look to the ground.

 

I didn't think the writer's write off competition was next.

 

I mean there are no more categories left.

 

 

I guess it's time.

 

 

''Yep.'' I said.

 

Rikki interuppts.

 

''Look, there's my plus 1. The one I told you about. I haven't mentioned him because he was touring Rio while we were doing competition. He wanted to see me win.'' Rikki says.

 

 

Me and the gang stop as we take a look at Rikki's plus 1.

 

I didn't actually believe her at first. until now.

 

 

He was pretty. He was attractive.

 

 

''Guys. meet Chris. Chris meet the gang.'' she says.

 

He shakes hands with everyone as we all stare at him.

 

I didn't know that Rikki was telling the truth. He's real.

 

 

 

''Wow, I thought you just made it up.'' Marybella said, breaking the silence.

 

''Well obviously you guys didn't believe me. Chris is a sweetheart.'' Rikki pushes the slight hair coming over Chris's forehead.

 

He smiles back to her, as we all stare, awkward.

 

Too awkward, if I must say.

 

 

''Okay, competition time is almost over. The writers need to prepare, so come on Elle.'' Lauren says approaching me.

 

 

She grabs my wrist, pulling me into the big ballroom switched up for competition.

 

Crowds of chairs surround my view.

 

 

I was speechless by the outlook.

 

Lauren continously tugs on my wrist as I walked behind her at a fast pace.

 

 

''Okay so competition goes by name and qualification. You'll have to announce your name and company, then you start with an essay writing about your experience at FARELLE. Then the intern experts are called to writing their experience.'' Lauren explained to me.

 

 

''Basically.'' I replied.

 

''Then you'll be asked to write about a big life changing moment about joining a magazine company. Then Walt, our new intern, will write his essay on joining our company so quickly before competition. Does that make sense?'' Lauren says.

 

''I guess.'' I replied.

 

She finally stops walking fast.

 

 

''Great, take your standing position here while the other writers join in a minute. I'll be rooting for you in the front.'' Lauren says.

 

 

Before I knew it, I was standing behind a chair and table with an old desktop computer.

 

The screen was lit with a blank doucment opened.

 

 

The crowd of workers and other magazine competers begin to appear, filling up their seats.

 

I spot Jacob in the far back as he waves to me.

 

I wave back, feeling relief.

 

 

I was still nervous but I had confidence.

 

 

 

Rikki and Marybella give me a thumbs up as they take their seats. Lauren smiles very wide as Vanessa takes a seat next to her.

 

Marcus gives me a small smile and waves, as my fear for being on the spot disappears. Our interns sitting in the back were watching.

 

Sara and Walt approach the stage, beside me.

 

 

''Welcome everyone to the last category and competition for the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's'' yells the announcer.

 

 

The crowd cheers as I felt nervous again.

 

This was happening and I was doing it.

 

Doing competition with everyone.

 

 

During the annoncement I sneaked a peak at Ruby in the crowd. Of course she'd ignore me, but I was confident enough to know she's proud of me.

 

I see her face come into frame with my eye contact. She gives me a small smile as my relaxation kicks in.

 

I was all set.

 

 

Nothing to worry about.

 

 

''Now we will have the writers announce their names and company their representing, then take their seats and write up the 1st half of an essay about their experience in the magazine world. Let's give a round of applause!!'' says the annoucer.

 

 

The crowd claps and cheers one more time before it gets quiet.

 

The mic is passed on to the first competer.

 

 

''Hi my name is Sharon, and i'm from AUSSIE Magazine Company.''

 

''Hi, i'm from BANGCON Magazine Company and my name is Wen Ji.''

 

 

 

The mic gets passed on and on, till it comes to me.

 

I was nervous to take the mic. I took a deep breath and held it in my hands.

 

I looked at the mic then turned to the crowd.

 

 

I had to admit, I was a whole lot more nervous than before.

 

Even just saying my name.

 

 

''Hi,..my name is Elle and i'm from FARELLE Magazine Company.'' I said.

 

I quickly remove the mic from my hand and I passed it on to Sara who passed it to the next competer.

 

I was glad that moment was over.

 

 

''Now that we have the competitors annouced. All writers, interns and expert interns in the competition, please take your seats. We will be starting in a few seconds.'' says the announcer.

 

 

I sat down, bracing myself for the nervous stress to take over. 

 

''It's okay.'' Walt says, grabbing my hand.

 

 

I nod my head, looking at him as the annoucer interuppts.

 

''Alright writers, begin with the 1st category essay. Write 1 paragraph about your experience in a magazine company. Go!!'' they say.

 

 

I brace my fingers to type as I think of the words coming to my head. They were too fast, I spell a few words wrong before I noticed the nervous shaking in my hands.

 

 

''The best thing about working for a magzine companyes....'''

 

 

The nervous moment made me close my eyes, as I tried to find my peace.

 

No one was here to help me except myself.

 

 

I had to think big.

 

I had writer's block for a moment.

 

I was taking the place for writer of the year, I need to win.

 

 

This my year, and i'm taking it back.

 

 

''One of the best things about working for a magazine company, is the hard work and dedication it takes to be involved. I remember my first time. It wasn't bad ,but it got better over the years....''

 

 

My mind instantly went back to the memories I had in the past 3 years. What i've been through and what the company did as the people around me, changed me.

 

It was all a big adventure back then.

 

 

Before I knew it, I had so many sentences I couldn't fit it into a paragraph. I kept typing as if this whole competition was my life.

 

 

 

''Time's up.'' said the announcer.

 

 

My hands were put to a stop by Sara's fingers.

 

I was vigoriously typing away blocking out the time's up announcement.

 

My hands slide off the keyboard as I look back up to reality.

 

 

I look back to my computer filled with long sentences and words i've never seen myself write before.

 

I was proud.

 

 

''We'll have the judges read over the essays after the competition is over. Next up, we'd like to ask the intern experts from the magazine companies to approach the stand, or simply slide down a chair.'' says the annoucer.

 

 

I get up from my chair as I switch seats with Sara to the right.

 

And I'm left to stare at the crowd. Sara sits down in my seat nervously.

 

 

''1 minute to prep before we move on expert interns, get ready.'' says the announcer.

 

''Elle,... I can't do this.'' Sara whispers.

 

''What do you mean, you can't? I just did and so can you.'' I replied, looking to Sara.

 

 

She sighs then nods her head. She looked into the crowd as I sat back in a chair.

 

She was obviously looking for Kyle in the crowd, hoping she'll feel more confident when she sees him.

 

 

 

My attention is brought back to the announcer.

 

He speaks into the mic as we prep for the competition again.

 

''And we're back. All expert interns please take your seats. Your assignment is to write your experience at your magazine company.'' says the announcer.

 

 

Sara faces to the computer, as I wait for the announcer to say the word.

 

 

''Alright, go.'' he says.

 

 

 

She starts typing about her experience.

 

Probably about how fun it was to work for FARELLE.

 

 

I could tell with the light in her eyes she could write anything.

 

Her first job, her first crush...boyfriend....and ex boyfriend.

 

Sara's encounter with me, so many times.

 

 

And everything else in between.

 

  

''Time's up!!'' yelled the announcer.

 

 

Sara's eyes are brought up from the screen as she breathed deeply, looking ahead.

 

I smiled as my eyes shift from her to the announcer again.

  

  

''All experienced interns please exit your seating and slide down to let the new intern writers start for the competition.'' the announcer says.

 

 

Sara moves and Walt's sits, as things begin to shift.

 

Walt was a great kid, and he's gonna be one of the best real writers to join FARELLE.

 

 

 

''Alright interns, get ready.....set...go!'' says the announcer.

 

 

Walt types away fast, sure that he had potential.

 

I've never seen someone so bright and talented write the way he did.

 

 

I was glad Lauren made Walt my new assitant. But i'm also kind of sad to see Sara go, after her spent time making it seem to the judges that she's an actual writer.

 

 

She's done so much. I just hope and wonder if Lauren will take it easy on her when she returns back to FARELLE.

 

We don't miss her at all, but I realized after competition...it'll all be over.

 

 

I'll be back at FARELLE, with Walt and new interns taking up spots next fall.

 

Rikki and Marybella will stay by my side, and Sara will possibly choose who to be with in San Francisco or Wisconsin.

 

 

Everything was ending, this summer and the competition. But I was glad to see my life settle for once and focus on me and my family.

 

 

''Time's up!!'' yelled the announcer.

 

 

My head bounces back from my thoughts. All that thinking took up the time Walt had been typing.

 

Walt sets his fingers down from the keyboard, then sighs happily.

 

 

He turns his head to me smiling. I smile back at the impressive job he's done.

 

A lot of writing. And better than mine. 

 

 

 

''Well done.'' I replied.

 

His smile gets bigger as the announcer interuppts.

 

''Thank you everyone and the competitors that joined the Annual Magazine Company Face Off's. We are glad to have you all qualify and attend this year. Hopefully to see you come back next year. We will annouce the winners in a few minutes, so all writers please exit the stage and find your seats.'' said the announcer.

 

 

I walk down the stairs to find a sit next to Lauren.

 

Marcus runs up before I can sit down. His huge embrace makes me smile on instinct.

 

What was he doing?

 

 

It was hard to say. I finally felt happy around Marcus for once.

 

 

''Outstanding job. I saw you struggle for a moment there but you did it. And FARELLE is going to win because you.'' he said, pulling away.

 

''Thanks.'' I replied.

 

 

He finds his seat again, as Sara and Walt pass by going back to the rows of interns.

 

 

''Hey!'' I called out to them.

 

They both turn to my attention. A smile spreads across my face.

 

''Great job, we couldn't have done this without you Sara. Congratulations.'' I say.

 

 

I start clapping as Lauren joins along. And pretty much, our whole company was clapping.

 

She did this for us and for her own good.

 

She deserves to be noticed for her hard work.

 

 

She smiles as she mouths thank you then heads back to her seat.

 

Following behind her, Walt who gives me a thumbs up.

 

I give him a thumbs up as I head to my seat just in time.

 

 

''Alright we have our 3 winners for competition this year. 1st place, gets to have a special sponsered surprise happen right at their magazine company in the coming year. So be prepared. And the company gets to come to competition free next year with no qualfications.'' the announcer says.

 

 

The crowd and I clap at the 1st place surprise.

 

''And 2nd place, get to cruise to the carribbean next year before competition. To relax and get all free 7 nights here in Brazil, at what ever hotel of they choose. And 2nd place, gets a special surprise for their company that following next year.'' the announcer says.

 

 

''And lastly, 3rd place....,get to choose whether to compete next year or come back to Brazil during break for an all expense paid trip to Atlantis for an exclusive interview to be shown world wide.'' the announcer says.

 

 

All the prizes sounded so good, but we don't know who's going to win.

 

It could be any magazine company.

 

 

I sat in my chair with anticipation, waiting patiently.

 

 

''We have our 3rd winner, and it's.....XPLOSIVE magazine.'' said the announcer.

 

 

All claps went around.

 

I was proud of XPLOSIVE magazine. 

 

They did well during competition. Even after they go disqualified sooner than later.

 

 

They deserved it.

 

 

 

''And next up we have our 2nd winner,.......KARL magazine.''

 

 

I was at an uttermost suprise. I was so happy for Ryan and Jeff since they work at KARL.

 

 

Even for an ally company, it's always good to support each other.

 

I could see the smile on Ryan's face as he takes the trophy and raises it to the ceiling for everyone to see.

 

Typical Ryan.

 

 

''And lastly, we have our 1st place winner. Which is a tie breaker between LIMIT magazine and FARELLE magazine. A close one eh?'' said the announcer.

 

''Just tell us who won?'' someone exclaimed to the announcer.

 

 

I sat back nervous for a moment, this was it.

 

Our whole success put before us.

 

 

 

''....FARELLE magazine.'' the announcer said.

 

The crowd goes wild. I've never seen so much happiness in myself before.

 

Even Lauren herself, took it well when people started hollering.

 

 

We had actually won. 

 

 

''We did it!'' yelled Lauren.

 

 

I could see the excitement in her face. The proud faces of workers in our company. I saw a glimpse of LIMIT magazine leave the celebration early.

 

Their angry faces with botox showed wrinkles as they disappeared.

 

 

Jacob, Rikki and Marybella approach me in the first row. Their proud faces make me think how hard i've come to be and stay with FARELLE.

 

I was glad I had pushed myself to experience this moment for my life.

 

 

Streamers blew up as the loud celebratoin grew. Crowds of FARELLE workers surrounded the trophy as Lauren lauched it in the air to show victory.

 

 

A smile came across my face.

 

For the first time, I did something I thought wasn't possible. And it did become possible.

 

 

''To the hotel. Party's on me!!'' Lauren yelled.

 

She' was picked up in the air as we continued to bathe in the feeling of winning the trophy.

 

 

I'm suddenly grabbed by the attention of hands on my arms.

 

''You did a good job.'' a soft whisper entered my ear.

 

 

I turned to see Jacob in my grasp, as the crowd continues to flee out the big ballroom.

 

We exit out to the parking lot where the buses are, to take us back.

 

 

''Attention!!'' Lauren yelled.

 

''Since it's a celebration, everyone rides which ever bus you want!!'' she exclaimed.

 

 

Everyone cheers as the buses open their doors and people get on different ones with their friends.

 

I enter the bus, pulling Jacob behind me.

 

 

Rikki joins her new boyfriend in his car. Going to the hotel before any of us.

 

Marybella and Mark join our bus afterwards.

 

--

  

The ride back was a relief. Everyone was in relief as we remind ourselves about the victory.

 

Never in my life, would I thought we would win. Or even make it back to win next year.

 

I'm glad I decided to get myself together and finish what I had started.

 

 

We won and now things can finally go back to normal.

 

 

''3 cheers for FARELLE!'' Lauren yelled.

 

Everyone continues to cheer as we rode back to the hotel.

 

 

''We won.'' I reassured Jacob.

 

''You did it. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't have made it this year.'' Jacob replies.

 

 

''Alright everyone. Now when we get back, get ready for the party. 2 hours. Then head down to the dinner hall.'' Lauren announces.

 

 

Lauren was all about the trophy.

 

She wanted to rub it in everyone's face that we won.

 

And to be honest, me too.

 

 

 

Me and Jacob enter the hotel as the others make way for the dinner hall early. I was exhausted and walked to the elevators.

 

 

Jacob pulls my arm for me to stop and I turn around to see his expression.

 

''Are we going to party later on?'' he asks.

 

 

I turn to the crowd of cheers and drinks being passed around.

 

A slight smile and laugh slips out from me.

 

 

''After vacationing and working this week,...i'm going to get a good's night rest.'' I replied.

 

I manuver myself out of his grip, as I make my way for the elevator.

 

He inches behind. Wrapping his hand around mine.

 

  

A smile appears on my face again. I was truly happy.

 

Competition was over and now I can rest a for a little while.

  

 

 

Once we enter our hotel room, I change into comfortable clothes.

 

No more jeans or nice shirts for the rest of the trip.

 

 

I slip into a comfortable black t-shirt and my blue shorts.

 

My hair was still perfect from before, as I brush my fingers through the tangles.

 

 

I flop onto the bed. Yhe sunset going down outside leaves a beautiful reflection in the room.

 

 

 

My eyes close for a breif second, before a pair of limbs circle me.

 

I snap my eyes open to see Jacob sprawled on his side of the bed.

 

 

The sun finally goes down as a wave of light blue strays into the room.

 

The room is in utter complete silence.

 

 

I could hear the silent breathing of Jacob as I lay more comfortably.

 

 

After a few mintues, I feel fingers linger around my face.

 

My eyes were still shut. I could imagine it, it was Jacob.

 

 

His fingers circle my hair, pushing back the hairs near my forehead.

 

I smile in return.

 

It felt relaxing, just me and Jacob for once.

 

 

It's been a while since we had peace and quiet together.

 

 

All this business about competition and he was there for me. And supporting me even after the events of this year.

 

 

l didn't know what i'd do without him.

 

 

I open my eyes slightly to see his eyes shine back into mine.

 

He was beautiful just laying there. The room diming down from the light outside every 5 minutes.

 

 

I continue to stare. Us two, just laying there.

 

 

''No matter what people say about you, you'll always work hard. They'll never know what you've been through.'' Jacob says.

 

 

My head slowly rises at his words. I glare back in response.

 

''Yeah, but you were there when my success grew. And I failed to be there for you.'' I replied.

 

''Shhh...'' he replied.

 

 

He brushes my hair back as I look back into his eyes.

 

''It's doesn't matter anymore. Now we can finally have peace, when we get back home. But for now,...let's do something else.'' Jacob says.

 

''What?'' I say.

 

 

Jacob slowly leans, in inching away from his side of the bed.

 

I'm holding onto the pillow underneath my head. His face nears mine as I stare back into his eyes.

 

 

Soulful and soft.

 

 

''I know we discussed this before, but I think we'd better talk about it again.'' he says.

 

''About what?'' I reply softly.

 

''Us...and these sheets.'' he replied.

 

 

I was baffled by his response. I didn't know what he meant.

 

He leans in to plant a kiss on my lips.

 

I look back in suprise as he withdraws to look at me.

 

 

I pull his head back to me.

 

I hadn't noticed how warm his body was. Or his breath.

 

 

Our lips reconnect again.

 

I grab his collar to pull him closer. He leans in till our noses touch each other.

 

 

Our intense breathes hype up the kiss, our lips clink together like water falling from a high cliff.

 

 

I pull back to look into his eyes. His convincing eyes tell me to continue.

 

I smile slightly, then reconnect our lips. His hands reaches up to my neck to pull me closer to his face.

 

 

We lock together as we kiss. I'd forgotten how long it's been since we've kissed passionately.

 

Ever since that night of the celebration dinner, i've been wondering when we'd have the moment again.

 

 

Jacob deepens the kiss, as I lay, wanting more.

 

Clear of the lust that we felt, were drawn to each other.

 

 

 

The room was completely dark, the sun was gone and it was basically night.

 

Our breathing, in sync, becomes the only thing to distract us as we stare into each other's eyes.

 

Jacob leans in to look at my face in depth from the shadow.

 

 

Lights from outside bloom at our window. It was clear what he wanted, what I wanted.

 

 

 

Jacob swopes back in to kiss me. This time moving his body towards me.

 

I lay on my side as his hands graze my thigh.

 

My right leg shifts up to his body, as his hands leaves goosebumps on my untouched skin. His happy face makes him smile.

 

 

He continues to smile as I rekindle our kiss and I began smiling too.

 

But our lips overlap on each other, making me stop.

 

The kiss gets more intense as he continues to draw his body close to mine. His head rises to push my right leg to his waist as I layed silenly.

 

 

 

He motions to get on top, and I nod my head. Our lips were still connected as we move on the bed.

 

The partially awkward moment passes as I lay flat on my back.

 

 

His eyes glare into mine longingly. Clearly we haven't discussed moments like this.

 

But it was a new try.

 

He leans in again, to crane the small of my back to reach him. I smile as his lips meet mine.

 

Then his hands snake up to my neck.

 

 

My weak spot.

 

 

I was in utter shock, but surprising pleased.

 

 

It was like Jacob didn't have to know where to kiss me, he knew what he was doing.

 

And I liked it.

 

He pulls me up as my hair flows down. My legs slightly wrap around his waist, I was panned up on his lap.

 

 

He sits on his legs as I stare into his eyes, it was complete lust he felt.

 

 

Jacob takes a look at my body, all in it's glory. His hands graze up and down my waist. I watch his eyes loom over me.

 

I stay still as we make eye contact.

 

 

''Do you want to do this?'' he asks.

 

 

Crap. I didn't think this through.

 

In all my 3 years with him, we've never thinked to have a a moment like this.

 

 

My breathing was silent, I had my hands graze over his chest.

 

I partially unbutton his shirt.

 

Jacob bites the bottom of his lips, and I smile.

 

 

I guess he took as a sign to continue.

 

 

I smile as I bite my bottom lip. Jacob responds happily to ignite our kiss again.

 

His hands graze my waist inching up and down again.

 

I smile as my neck cranes down to kiss him.

 

 

Suddenly Jacob pulls away, amd i'm in sudden shock. 

 

Did he not want to continue? It was getting good.

 

 

''Are you sure you want to do this, because-,.... if you don't want to,'' he says.

 

 

I look back into his eyes again.

 

Did I really want to do this or was my body taking over?

 

I didn't even know anymore.

 

 

We continue to look at each other.

 

His partially open shirt looms in the darknees and light from the window.

 

The moon was out tonight.

 

 

His every strong curve of his body comes into scene as I stare up and down at him.

 

 

I snap out of it as I try to say something

 

''I knew it, you're not ready and I practically tried to force an answer-'' he says.

 

''No.'' I finally reply.

 

''Please tell me, I need an answer.'' he says.

 

 

I sttuter a little. His face was so close to mine, I couldn't help but look down at his lips.

 

I re-imagine our encounter in the elevator.

 

 

Intense and hot.

 

I wanted intense and hot tonight.

 

Jacob leans in, his fingers caressing my chin. I look back up to make our eyes meet again.

 

 

I take a sharp intake, as he lips breifly graze over my cheek. He kisses me sweetly.

 

I tried so hard to not kiss him back.

 

I needed to make up my mind. Did I want this?

 

 

He asked if I wanted to, do I say yes or no?

 

I totally think we should wait, but what if I can't wait any longer?

 

What if he can't wait any longer?

 

 

 

''Elle, say something?'' he interuppts my thoughts.

 

I turn back to him, his face is so close to mine I slightly stare in awe of how beautiful he looked up close.

 

I bet he's thinking the same thing as me.

 

 

I love him, I really do.

 

But is it enough for us to wait?

 

 

He leans in to kiss me again, our lips reconnect. Lust finally comes back into motion.

 

We move side to side, not controlling our thoughts. I pull away.

 

My eyebrows frown in confusion. Did I really want this?

 

 

I look back to his concerned face. No response yet.

 

My eyes convince him to re-connect our kiss. He leans in, and finally I give in.

 

 

He hesitates to kiss me again and I reassure him by wrapping my arms around his neck.

 

He holds back one more time before our lips lock again.

 

 

Jacob wraps my legs around his waist, lifting me up against his body.

 

Our lips never leave sight of each other.

 

I cling to his body as I take off one button from his shirt. He returns the gesture by slightly lifting my black top.

 

 

His hands linger back to my thighs as we continue to kiss. Intensely we touch each other.

 

And i've never been more surprised by what we're doing.

 

 

He unlocks our lips and I breath heavily as he stares back to me.

 

 

''Do you want this?'' he asks.

 

I was eager to be back in his grip again. I nod my head in response.

 

No time for a real answer.

 

But then he speaks.

 

 

''If we do this, we don't tell anyone. Okay.'' he whispers.

 

''I promise, our secret.'' I replied.

 

 

''Alright....since w'ere doing this, I want to make sure you're ready. Because things may get out of hand.'' he says.

 

 

I had to be honest.

 

I was ready to give my all.

 

 

I smiled in response.

 

 

He smiles then chuckles.

 

Jacob nears my right ear, I stay steady.

 

I was scared for a second.

 

 

What kind of things did he do with other girls, or am I the only one?

 

What if it's not his first time and i'm finding this out now.

 

What if he had better with other girlfriends?

 

 

What if I turn down what he wants me to do?

 

 

All of a sudden, these questions came to mind. Did I really think it was going to be fine?

 

Was I re-thinking this and regretting my answer?

 

 

I turn back to Jacob. I tilt my head to his direction.

 

''You're my first, and I promise you'll be my first.'' he whispers.

 

 

I smile eagerly, relaxed at his response.

 

I turned my head back, facing his lingering body.

 

His soft breath brushes against my ear with little shocks.

 

 

''And I promise, that you'll enjoy it. I'll be gentle.'' he whispers.

 

 

And he was confident.

 

I was in awe.

 

 

He leans back from my ear to my face. His lips part, then he bit the bottom into his mouth.

 

He was dominant in this position. 

 

I stare up from my view.

 

 

Jacob looms over my body, making me lean back on my elbows. I stare up.

 

Part of me was ready and also scared.

 

 

He leans back up and pulls me to sit up on my knees. I stare back into his eyes.

 

The lights from outside covers his body in depth. His sculptured body being revealed.

 

 

I'm now watching Jacob reach to unbutton his shirt.

 

 

Once Jacob's down to the last few buttons, I help him with the rest.

 

There's no telling what might happen.

 

And i'm not going to sit around and wait for him to strip in front of me.

 

 

This would have been embarassingly seductive if I were as immature as I was before.

 

 

The last button on his shirt is undone in a second. His hands reach to uncover his body, waist and all.

 

He was perfect.

 

 

I've never seen him like this. Underneath all of this, was an amazing body. Probably from playing sports or working out in the past.

 

 

My eyes examine his body, rippled and gorgeous.

 

My hands began to linger and wonder up his abs.

 

 

Jacob's quick to remove his shirt finally and i'm slightly embarassed, as he's shirtless in front of me. His beautiful body revealed.

 

I look away in embarassment. I was stunned.

 

Maybe i've been looking at his body for way too long.

 

 

And he was probably watching me, watching him.

 

He waits patiently as I look into his eyes again.

 

 

Was it my turn?

 

 

I tried to think up of ways that I can take off my shirt.

 

Maybe I can be more sexy.

 

I slowly withdraw the hem of my shirt. I watch Jacob's eyes linger over my movement.

 

My eyes watch him, and he bites his lip.

 

 

That made me work more effortlessly to take it off seductively, like how he did.

 

 

Finally I get the shirt off. He stares up and down at my body.

 

Part of me felt like he was violating my privacy by looking at me. But part of me wanted to show him my flaws. I wouldn't say I had an attractive body.

 

But by Jacob's seducing smirks, he liked it. That made me happy and smile.

 

 

 

He smiled back as he notices me shy away from my embarassment. He touches the bottom of my chin with his finger.

 

I kiss his fingers slowly, he responds by pulling my body to him quickly.

 

I was embarassed by the skin on skin contact, his stomach grazes mine. He removes my hands from covering my face.

 

 

 

He holds my hands in his left hand in full grasp. His other hand rises to caress the small of my back. I'm slightly stunned by the touch.

 

 

I've never be treated like this before. He was definitely doing this right for a first time.

 

He assures me to inch back to him by pulling my waist to his from my attempt of escape. Our skin re-connect as his lips inch to mine.

 

He finally let's go of both my hands in his grip. His left hand joins the other around my waist.

 

 

I look up to him, our pants were still on but I could feel the heat rising between us. Our lips lock again, this time we kiss more intensely.

 

I had forgotten the sweet taste of his lips on mine from our constant stopping in between.

 

 

My hands go through his hair as his hands snake around my thigh pulling it up to his torso. In one swift movement my legs are around him again.

 

Our kiss deepens, i've never felt more wanted in my life than now. His lips move up and down against mine never leaving each other.

 

 

He pushes a piece of my hair back as i'm tightly in his grip. 

 

I loved how beautiful I must have looked to him right and how comfortable I was in his grasp. A big smile returns to his face.

 

I slightly smile back. Even in dim light I could tell he was just as happy as I was.

 

For once we took the risk in our relationship.

 

 

I just wonder if it'll be worth it. But I know we both love each other.

 

And it's totally worth it.

 

 

''Ready?'' he asks seductively.

 

 

I smile and bite my bottom lip. Let's see where it goes.

 

I giggle into the comfort of his body holding on to me, my face buried into his shoulder.

 

I smile as he continues to hold on to his grasp on me.

 

 

This was just perfect.

 

Chapter Thirteen: Yours Truly

 

   

The sound of the birds and breeze outside was relaxing.

 

The birds were chirping loudly, but I didn't mind.

 

 

I breathed in deeply as I felt around the bed to reach out for Jacob's arm.

 

He wasn't near.

 

I stretch my arm back to my side and unravel from my crouched position.

 

 

The bed was very comfortable. I couldn't resist and smell the covers to sulk in paradise for one last time.

 

I smile slightly as I set myself back into a comfortable position.

 

 

I suddenly open my eyes to the sunshine seeping through the room.

 

I slowly lift myself up with my arms and a sigh.

 

 

The door from the bathroom opens. I turn my head from the windows to see, a shirtless Jacob with a towel wrapped from his waist.

 

He ruffles wet trickles from his hair.

 

 

I examine his body. He looked amazing.

 

 

Then his attention is brought to me, I cover my face with the sheets.

 

 

A breath of relief comes from within him. 

 

I noticed the white t-shirt I had on yesterday was still on. I was surprisingly comfortable with knowing that I wasn't bare naked.

 

I look up to see the sight of Jacob nearing me.

 

 

I hide the smile I wanted to return with the sheets of the bed.

 

 

Jacob walks over to pull the sheets from me, he strips the comforter from my body.

 

The cool warm breeze of the air flows over me.

 

He chuckles slightly then sits down near my legs.

 

 

I sigh in response. I lay back and face him.

 

He returns to me a look, then caresses my legs.

 

 

He wraps his left arm around my legs, he kisses it as I feel the tiny hairs from his face. The feeling made me flinch.

 

 

 

A small grin slips out of his mouth.

 

Jacob looks up to my surprise, and leans in to kiss me on the nose. Our skin breifly touch each other. I felt goosebumps flare up as we stay still.

 

Just silence and our faces together.

 

 

''Did you sleep good?'' he asks.

 

''Yeah.'' I reply with a smile.

 

 

We let our lips touch before we part from each other. A smile on both of our faces. after

 

He walks over to his suitcase to partially pack and get dressed.

 

And I however, sprint to the bathroom.

 

 

I take my time to get ready this morning, no rush or anything. Today, we get to go back home.

 

I don't exactly remember, but i'll have to check with Lauren during breakfast.

 

 

 

The hotel wasn't so busy this morning, barely anyone was running around. Me and Jacob enter into the breakfast hall holding hands.

 

The nice smell of food filled the air, as I turned to the breakfast bar and laid out trays.

 

I lick my lips in desperation.

 

 

I was super hungry this morning.

 

 

''I'm gonna get breakfast, save me a seat.'' I said to Jacob, running to get in line.

 

 

I wait patiently and take up a bunch of bagels and blueberry muffins. I was eager, I was hopping in place to get something in my mouth.

 

 

Finally, I get a plate full of food enough to feed 2 stomachs. I rush to our table as I spot Rikki and her plus 1, Chris.

 

I was surprised to see that he's still here.

 

 

''Hi everyone.'' I said.

 

I sat down next to Marybella on my left and Jacob on my right.

 

I dig in not letting anyone talk to me first.

 

 

''So where were you guys before and after the party? We didn't see you come in. You missed Lauren singing and licking the trophy.'' Rikki asks.

 

She sips her orange juice, her right hand caressing Chris' shoulder.

 

I notice something shiny on her finger.

 

 

An unexpected engagement I should have noticed earlier.

 

I tried not to seem surprised and act non-chalant.

 

''So where did you and Chris go after the party, I didn't see an invitation to the wedding?'' I reply.

 

 

I took a small bite of my breakfast, waiting for her reaction.

 

Marybella drops her silverware, she acts as if she didn't notice it at first too.

 

I think she knew this whole time.

 

 

''Marybella?'' I said, turning to her as I set down my spoon.

 

 

She gives me a reassuring look. I finally turn to Rikki.

 

Rikki turns her attention from Bella to me.

 

She sighs then gives Marybella a look.

 

 

''Damn it Marybella.'' she says.

 

Rikki finally turns her head to me.

 

 

''So why do you have a ring on your finger?'' I ask.

 

 

She stutters on her words. Confused, I lean in with my elbows on the table.

 

''Rikki why didn't you tell me, I would have planned a girls night.'' I asked.

 

 

''Before you get exctied, it's a promise ring.'' she finally says.

 

I nod my head for her to continue.

 

She smiles to turn her head to Chris.

 

 

''We promised to keep in touch after we go back to New York. He's going up to the hamptons for the summer, so we'll make it work over summer break.'' Rikki says.

 

 

I was happy to see her with someone. A big smile on my face wavers.

 

To recover from her ex-husband, it was a relief.

 

I could tell she even felt more comfortable around Chris.

 

 

''He's working over the summer and I promise to visit once I have time. And he dedicated last night, to that. He'll always call me, even from far away. That's why he gave me this ring.'' Rikki finished.

 

 

Rikki stretches her hand out for me to see the ring clearly.

 

 

''Wow that's really sweet.'' I replied.

 

Rikki's smile widens as her eyes turn back to Chris.

 

''I really wanted to make up the time we haven't spent since we're going to part from Brazil for a few days.'' Chris says.

  

 

I turn back to my still warm maple pancakes. Suddenly silence fills out table, when all eyes were on me.

 

But it wasn't just me, it was Jacob too.

 

I partially open my eyes widely as I look to him. I wipe my mouth with a nearby napkin.

 

 

''What?'' I ask.

 

''Explain yourselves.'' Rikki insists.

 

''Yeah,..what did happen last night while the party was going on here?'' Marybella asks, turning to me.

 

 

There's no way i'm going to be able to listen to to them flaunt on about it.

 

Mark and Chris were here, especially with Jacob sitting next to me.

 

 

It was embarassing to talk about it with our friends, and besides I promised not to.

 

I can't break that promise.

 

 

''..Well, we went back to our hotel room and slept for the night.'' I said.

 

 

Rikki nods for me to continue.

 

''Um, we-'' I started.

 

 

Suddenly, I was intuerppted.

 

''We stayed up all night talking about engagement rings and thinking about a summer wedding. It was a hard desicion to make with our friends considering the idea. So we slept on it and thought some more about it this morning.'' Jacob says.

 

 

Before I even realized, his hands was on mine to calm my nerves.

 

He was even caressing the back side of my hand.

 

 

I turn to him for the saving reply.

 

Thank god. If I spoke one more word, I would have revealed every detail.

 

 

''Really, you guys talk about getting married. And a summer wedding? Why wasn't I invited to have an opinion it.'' Rikki says.

 

Marybella scoffs at me loudly.

 

The sound was shrill, her expression in utter shock and then happiness.

 

 

''Well, we wanted our descion to be exclusive unil we decide to tell you guys.'' I said.

 

''And why the hell not, we're your best friends. We deserve to know what's going on in your relationship.'' Rikki suggests.

 

 

I ease a look, to seem comfortable and pass the awkward reply.

 

''Well, not everything.'' I finally replied.

 

 

I take a sip of my drink to simmer in the ease of not telling anyone about last night.

 

Rikki gives me a nasty sly look. She exchanges expressions with Marybella.

 

They both stare at me as I finish my plate full of breakfast.

 

 

''What?'' I reply again, looking up.

 

''Nothing, it's just. It's been 3 years into your relationship and you don't tell us much about it.'' Rikki says.

 

''Well some things are meant to be kept secret, not all of it is suppose to be shared. Right?'' I say.

 

 

Rikki nods her head putting her elbows on the table. The nervous air between us begins to rise.

 

Lauren interuppts, just in time.

 

 

''Good news and bad news.'' Lauren says. Vanessa joins Lauren's side.

 

''Good news is we won the competition!!'' Lauren shouts.

 

 

Everyone cheers, still in kahoots with yesterday's celebration. I'm stil not over the fact that we won the big trophy.

 

The crowd of cheers die down as Lauren speaks again.

 

 

''Bad news is, we'll have to stay in Brazil for one more day. Unfortunately we had a problem with the score on competition and the judges need a day to recalculate it for each magazine company.'' Lauren says.

 

 

A wave of unsatisfied sighs come in as everyone looks to each other,

 

That sucks. I really wanted to go back home today.

 

 

''But in the mean while, we don't have to worry. You are free to vacation today and half of tomorrow, before we leave. You deserve this, guys.'' Lauren says.

 

 

She grabs a glass of champagne. She takes a gulp before continuing to talk.

 

''Let the real vacation begin. Everyone feel free to go to the beach!!'' Lauren says.

 

 

Co-workers yell in cheer.

 

"It is way to early for her to being speaking this loud," I try to whisper.

 

 

Most of the co-workers left breakfast early, as me and the gang are left in the partially empty breakfast hall.

 

 

''Well i'm going to the pool, anyone want to join?'' I said getting up.

 

''Yeah, I want to.'' Rikki says cheerfully.

 

 

She gives Chris a kiss, and Marybella exits the table alongside us.

 

 

We all exited the breakfast hall into the the lobby as we make our way to the elevators.

 

I'm suddenly called by Jacob in the distance.

 

''Elle!'' he says

 

 

My head turns to him from the open doors of the elevator, Marybella and Rikki nod for me to go.

 

They hold the doors as I run over to Jacob.

 

 

''I wanted to tell you, that me and the guys are going on a tiki tour. Something Chris mentioned. I figured i'd tell you were I was instead of making you find me.'' Jacob says.

 

''Well go on, have fun!'' I replied.

 

 

I smiled as he returns the grin, he leans in to rest his left hand nearing my neck.

 

His face close to mine.

 

His lips touch mine as we savor a moment to kiss.

 

 

That's weird. We've never done that before.

 

I guess it's something new.

 

 

We pull back as he relays a smile on his face.

 

 

I've never seen him smile this much before. It made me happy to see him like this.

 

He hurries towards the breakfast hall.

 

Then I head for the elevator, Marybella and Rikki wait for me with smirks on their faces.

 

 

I tried my best not to smile back, but as soon as the elevator doors closed I couldn't contain it any longer.

 

 

I smiled a little and gave it away. Rikki opens her mouth and gasps. The reflectiive walls in the elevator showed my expression.

 

 

Rikki grabs me and slightly pushes me against the wall. She has her hands above my shoulder.

 

Clear anger in her eyes.

 

 

''Tell me everything, I want to know everything.'' she finally says.

 

''About what?'' I asked, trying to be innocent.

 

''We know what you've been trying to hide, so spill.'' Rikki says.

 

"Yeah." Marybella buds in.

 

 

She crosses her arms over her chest, I stand back a little more nervous now.

 

I can't tell them now.

 

 

''I don't know what you're talking about.'' I reply.

 

''Oh, don't play innocent, we know. You're glowing and smiling.'' Rikki protests.

 

"That's sweat, and a little bit of tiki water." I reply.

 

''Besides, I saw you and Jacob hand in hand before you came to our table during breakfast.'' she says afterwards.

 

 

She gives me a look with her eyes. "Nobody holds hands this early in the morning, unless their feeling something. Or perhaps hiding it."

 

''What really happened last night?'' Marybella said.

 

 

The elevator doors finally open, I was saved. I sighed as I exited the elevator quickly.

 

 

I ran for my hotel room with Rikki and Marybella following closely behind.

 

When I get in, I lock myself in the bathroom.

 

 

There's no way i'm going to avoid talking about that subject. If they can't see me.

 

 

''Elle come out, tell us something. We know what you're hiding.'' Rikki yells.

 

She bangs on the bathroom door.

 

 

I however, quickly change into my bikini top and jean shorts.

 

As I undress, I could hear Marybella and Rikki chat over my situation.

 

 

It was the most annoying thing ever to have them constantly yell down my door and beg for me to tell them the truth.

 

I had to come up with a lie.

 

And quick.

 

 

Finally I open the door, they both stare at me calmly. I exit without a peep or sound.

 

They awkwardly approach me as I set my clothes from this morning on the bed.

 

I turn my head to look at them.

 

 

They both stare in confusion. I turn my head from them as I make an exit for the door.

 

They gasp and run behind me.

 

I wanted to play nice, but Rikki wasn't going to. And with Marybella, I won't be able to keep my mouth shut.

 

 

They both run through the hallways as I look back to see them. I turn to the front as they run side by side.

 

 

I stop myself as I catch my breath.

 

Boy they were fast.

 

 

''Tell us everything.'' Rikki demands.

 

I look down to the floor then back up to her. They were serious.

  

-- 

 

As I look to the beach view, I look to the corner of my eye to see Rikki with a bucket of ice.

 

Marybella, with a cup full of hot tea.

 

 

They were both torturing me.

 

 

''Spill the beans or get frozen by ice cubes.'' Rikki says.

 

Marybella smiles brightly, as she raises her cup so I can see the simmering steam.

 

 

I breath silently as I continue to close my eyes.

 

I can't not even now.

 

Not in public.

 

 

I feel a slight cold graze run over my bare thigh. My eyes widen in shock.

 

I gasp.

 

Rikki started the fight and I had to end it.

 

 

A slight drop of hot tea runs over my right forearm. I flinch as I try to close my eyes.

 

 

''You have one more second.'' Rikki stated.

 

''Never.'' I whisper back.

 

''Fine, have it your way.'' Rikki says.

 

 

They both drench me in liquid, forms of hot and cold.

 

I couldn't take it anymore.

 

It burned and stinged my skin to pretend any longer.

 

 

''Okay fine, fine!!'' I finally yell.

 

 

They both stop.

 

Rikki puts down the small bucket of ice and Marybella sets down the cup on a nearby stand.

 

They both give me reassuring looks, as if they were innocent.

 

 

''Fine, i'll tell you. But you have to keep it a secret. Nobody has to know. Even Mark, Marybella.'' I said.

 

''Or your new boyfriend.'' Marybella said to Rikki, with a smile.

 

 

''It's between you guys, and me.... and Jacob.'' I said.

 

They both sit up, ready for my confession. I breath in and out slowly.

 

 

I open my eyes again. to see the, both staring at me. Waiting for my last bit of words.

 

I knew I couldn't blurb the whole thing, so I had to ease their minds.

 

 

''Okay last night, we went back to our hotel room.'' I started.

 

Rikki leans in to listen.

 

This was just peachy of her.

 

 

''We talked. You know, the usual. And then things got out of hand after we got ready for bed.'' I said.

 

''What did he talk about. Kids, or maybe having kids?'' Rikki suggested.

 

''No, we talked.'' I reassured her.

 

 

I took a deep breath again. I can already see Jacob feeling mad at me.

 

I was breaking the rules.

 

 

It was between me and Jacob.

 

But I know Rikki and Marybella won't leave that fact alone, until I tell.

 

 

 

''Okay...,I get in bed and I see that he's staring at me. Like any other person would.'' I said.

 

''Did he give you googly eyes?'' Rikki says, raising her brow.

 

 

''No, it was normal. You know, the one where you both question how beautiful you are.'' I replied.

 

''Yes, but was it a romantic stare, or a deep soul stare?'' Marybella added.

 

 

''I don't know. Look it was a stare and that's it.'' I said angrily.

 

''Okay, continue.'' Rikki said, resting her chin on her hand.

 

  

They both shush as I tried to keep myself together.

 

I was gonna kill myself for telling this on vacation.

 

 

''He leans in to kiss me, and I let him. So we're kissing,....no biggie. Just a normal kiss.'' I say.

 

 

Silence falls between us as I see them showing complete interest for me to continue.

 

''Oh, for crying out loud, stop staring at me like that!''

 

 

''We want to know everything, every detail.'' Rikki says.

 

Marybella nods more to continue, as I sigh for the rest of the story to unfold.

 

 

''Okay, so we're kissing. It's soulful, beautiful and just complete art.'' I said.

 

 

''Did he tongue you?'' Marybella asks.

 

''Marybella, I thought you were going to listen.'' I argue back.

 

 

''Sorry, i'm just curious if kissing is different for you guys. I mean me and Mark are simple with our kisses.'' she says.

 

 

''Butterfly kisses." Rikki exclaimed at Bella.

 

Rikki then turns to me. "Chris and I are wild, we always use tongue-''

 

''Okay, enough with the tongue. We don't kiss using tongue. Okay!!'' I strike back.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki back down as I tried to maintain my anger.

 

 

''Well, we....we-'' I said through mid-sentence.

 

''What?'' Rikki asks with excitement and a smile on her face.

  

 

''We sort of made out.'' I finally said.

 

Marybella scoffs as Rikki chuckles a little. It wasn't funny to begin with.

 

But knowing i'm the more innocent one was sure enough to make them look at me, like their not the ones telling the story.

 

 

''So did you guys went full on?'' Rikki asks leaning beside me.

 

''Not really, we just sort of kissed for....a really, really long time.'' I said.

 

 

I was trying to persuade them as I tried to come up with a different point of view to tell.

 

But they wouldn't stop talking.

 

 

''Did he grab your face when you guys were kissing?'' Rikki asks.

 

"Did he grab your neck? Although I like face grabs." Marybella intruded.

 

''Oh yes, when he grabs your face. Honey that's what I like!!'' Rikki says sitting up.

 

 

She pushes her face together with her hands to resemble a kissing face.

 

''It wasn't like that.'' I reply.

 

 

''Well, tell us what it was exactly.'' Rikki says.

 

 

We were all sat across three beach chairs.

 

Marybella near me to the right and Rikki beside me on the left, I was sitting with my legs crossed.

 

  

''Tell me everything.'' Rikki demands.

 

''Well, he reaches his hand for my neck, he pullls me close....his body is on mine. We're clearly laying down...so-'' I replied.

 

 

''So which position?'' Marybella asks.

 

''I'm not going to tell you any type of position.'' I replied mad.

 

Which position? There are so many.

 

 

''Well then how were you guys making out?'' Rikki asks.

 

 

Even her responses made me dig deeper to try to find an excuse so I don't give them an accurate answer.

 

I fight with my mind and finally spill.

 

 

''We, were laying down on our sides.'' I said.

 

 

Rikki gives me a look. I give her a glare before I answer.

 

''On the bed!'' I said loudly.

 

 

''So tell us more, come on this can't be it.'' Marybella adds.

 

 

I was really scared and tired of speaking, and giving details while out in public.

  

A breeze goes by as I tried to continue.

 

 

''Um,...we....um-'' I started.

 

''Damn it Elle, tell the rest of it. It's oka,y we're comfortable here.'' Rikki says.

 

I looked to both of them as I tried to talk again, all that came out was a sigh.

 

 

''I don't feel comfortable saying it out here.'' I managed to say.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki give each other a look, they both get up as I stare in confusion.

 

 

''Come on, if you can't finish it here-" Rikki starts

 

"Then finish it in my hotel room.'' Marybella says.

 

''Yeah, I need details now. No time to play innocent.'' Rikki says.

 

 

 

She grabs my arm to pull me up. We exit the pool area and go back up to Marybella's room.

 

 

It was quiet and cool.

 

They both sit down on the carpet area near the bed, as I sit on top of the bed.

 

They both sit quietly as I thinned my lips.

 

 

 ''This is much better, thanks Marybella for the idea.'' I finally said.

 

''So what happened, did things get wild?'' Rikki asks sitting next to me on the bed.

 

 

Marybella joins us too, making room for me to sit more comfortably.

 

 

''Well the kiss gets intense. He grabs me and pulls me to his body-'' I started.

 

''You already said that.'' Rikki interuppts.

 

 

''Yeah, i'm getting bored. Are there any good details?'' Marybella adds.

 

''Well there's this one thing he does,...when his hand brushes against my thigh. It's silly but-'' I start.

 

"Oohhh," Rikki smirks.

 

''No continue.'' Marybella says intrigued.

 

 

''He's the sweetest person. He's calm and reassuring, and he made sure that i'm comfortable.'' I said.

 

 

''Honestly if you don't start telling the truth, i'm getting the truth out of you.'' Rikki says.

 

 

She stands up as I look over to Marybella on my left. Bella nods her head agreeing with Rikki.

 

I sigh angrily as I sit up.

 

 

''Me and Jacob, made a pact. That we wouldn't tell anyone.'' I said.

 

"A pact?" Rikki said.

 

''A what?'' Marybella asks.

 

 

''That,....we kind of didn't wait until we got married.'' I said.

 

''What did you do?'' Marybella asked.

 

''Something....'' I replied.

 

 

I flinch as I watch the words tear apart from my mouth.

 

Rikki's eyes widen as her mouth opens.

 

 

''Oh! oh. You, you-'' she starts.

 

 

I quickly get up from the bed and I shush Rikki as I push her into the bathroom. I close the door behind us as she continues to yell.

 

''You, you....you!!'' she says.

 

 

Her eyes were in shock, I was scared that she knew.

 

I made sure the bathroom door was locked as I tried to remain calm.

 

 

''Listen Rikki, you don't know what you're talking about.'' I said turning back to her.

 

She remains silent. 

 

''Rikki, what came across your mind when I said that last setence?'' I reassured her.

 

 

Her growth of shock wavered into a smile. My eyes begin to widen as she stares at me.

 

What was she thinking?

 

 

''No wonder why you're glowing.'' she says.

 

''What- I am not.'' I said, beginning to grow with embarassment.

 

 

She turns me around to look in the mirror, my eyes examining my figure in the reflection.

 

 

''Look at you, pure happiness in your face. That's what happens when you have sex.'' she whispers the last part.

 

She turns me around to face her, her hands gripping my arms.

 

 

''You did it, didn't you?'' Rikki says. 

 

''No.'' I said, with clear embarassment in my eyes.

 

''Last night?'' she asks happily.

 

 

''It was nothing, we just made out and that was it. Nothing happened.'' I replied.

 

''No, I know what happened. You guys finally cut the string and got it over with, about time.'' Rikki says.

 

 

She walks over and reaches for the door handle, Marybella almost topples over as her body leaves the door and enters the bathroom.

 

 

Rikki who had a huge grin on her face. 

 

 "She did it," Rikki says to her.

 

''And so soon, and on vacation! You guys couldn't wait any longer did ya?'' Marybella says.

 

''I've seen the way you guys looked at each other this whole week.'' Rikki says to me.

 

"It's the honeymoon eyes." Marybella says sweetly.

 

 

''Stop, I don't want to talk about it.'' I finally said.

 

''Oh look, she's embarassed.'' Rikki says.

 

 

I cover my face as I walk back into the bedroom. I sit back down in my spot wondering why I even told them.

 

I knew I shouldn't have broken that promise.

 

 

''You...little minx.'' Rikki says.

 

''No it wasn't that, it just...happened.'' I said.

 

''Yeah just like how it magically happened when I annonuced I had a new boyfriend.'' Rikki says, air quoting her fingers in the air.

 

 

''Okay, tell me all the details." Marybella says rushing over to sit next to me.

 

"Every single bit." Rikki exclaimed.

 

''I...i, already told you guys the details near the pool side.'' I replied.

 

''Not those innocent details, the real ones.'' Rikki replies.

 

 

I shake my head as I cover my face again.

 

I had gone to far now, they won't stop torturing me unless I spill all of it.

 

 

''Say it, everything.'' Rikki nudges my side.

 

''No.'' I said shaking my head.

 

 

''Did you guys do role play?'' Rikki suddenly asks.

 

''No.'' I said finally looking up from my hands.

 

''Did you guys open the windows? To let everyone know. Oh, were you guys loud?'' Rikki asks.

 

 

''No, no and NO!!'' I replied to her covering my ears.

 

 

I knew it was a bad decision to tell them. And now they want every detail.

 

It's all my fault.

 

This reminds me when I had that embarassing conversation with Carla and her mother back in Paris. What a time to have that situation happen again.

 

 

At least it was between a good friend and her mother, but now it's between my best friends which is even more embarassing.

 

  

''You, out of all of us, went the extra mile and did it.'' Rikki says, plopping down next to me.

 

"And on vacation...for work." Marybella says slyly.

 

Rikki swooped her cup full of liqour around before sipping it.

 

 

''Now I just wish I hadn't,...i'm so embarassed.'' i replied.

 

''Don't be, you're the first of us. Plus that makes you a woman now.'' Rikki says.

 

''What do you mean a woman? I'm already a woman.'' I replied.

 

 

''Nope. If a woman loses her precious flower, she's part of the cool club with all the other ladies.'' Rikki says.

 

''I just don't want to talk about it anymore.'' I said getting up to face them.

 

 

''No, sit back down, we want to hear the good details. Nothing explicit at all, just give us the good juicy deets.' Rikki reassures.

 

''Just stop Rikki, i've had enough.'' I replied.

 

 

''It's never a girl's job to tell anyone else about it between her friends." I said.

 

"Only friends keep it a secret.'' Marybella said.

 

And just like that, I gave in.

 

 

''Promise to god and everything in the universe?'' I demand.

 

''Girl's honor.'' Rikki raising their right hand.

 

Marybella had her hand raised too.

 

 

At least I can trust them, for now.

 

  

''So what did he do, does he have any moves?'' Rikki finally, says after a quick silence.

 

''Rikki, I said enough.'' I stated angrily.

  

 

''With me and Jason. He used to do the big move in the movie dirty dancing, you know the one where the guy lifts the girl up in the air-'' Rikki says turning to Marybella.

 

 

I stare at her in complete awe, Rikki had secrets and she didn't tell me.

 

''You...you did it too. And before us.'' I said pointing Rikki.

 

''I know how you feel, but I never mentioned I did it with Jason. So...there was no use of saying I was the first of you all.'' Rikki says.

 

 

"Liar," I said,

 

I scoff at her. Things got even more real.

 

 

''You mean to say you were the first of us and didn't confess?'' I said.

 

''Yes, technically yes.'' Rikki says.

 

 

''So that means i'm the only one left?'' Marybella says.

 

''No....you're not. Well,...yes.'' Rikki says.

 

 

I smack Rikki's arm as I turn to Marybella.

 

''What's wrong with doing it before marriage, no biggie. You just don't have to wait anymore.'' Rikki says.

 

 

''But it is a big deal, my mom always told me to wait until I get married. Then it makes it more special for you two.'' Marybella replied.

 

"That's society honey." Rikki replies.

 

I give a breif sigh.

 

''Whatever, you broke the rules and now you're one of us.'' Rikki says  to me, lifting her cup of liquor.

 

 

I spush my face back into my hands.

 

''Now enough of promises, let's get the details since you're the one who got her precious flower taken last night.'' Rikki says.

 

She smiles grittly as I look back to her.

 

Drunk.

 

I hate when she gets like this.

 

  

''So did he pin you up against the wall like a masterpiece?'' Rikki asks.

 

  

''No, it didn't happen like that.'' I replied.

 

I felt embarassed just standing there beside her.

 

 

''You know what, I bet he had you against the head board. Shining the light on you until you saw god.'' Rikki exclaims.

 

''Rikki it wasn't like that, stoping making your dirty mind come in between the story.'' I replied.

 

''So anything else?'' Marybella asks.

 

 ''No.'' I shot back.

 

 

''Whatever, i'm just proud you and Jacob are reconnecting on another level. Cheers to that, while I have nothing.'' Rikki says, walking from the middle of the room.

 

 

''Rikki don't say that. You and Chris are great. What you guys have is better than your spent time with Jason.'' I said approaching her.

 

 

''Yeah, you made that change and proved us wrong when you got better in New York. Now look at you.'' Marybella says walking to her.

 

 

''Really?'' Rikki says.

 

''Yeah.'' Marybella says.

 

 

''Thanks,...I needed that.'' Rikki replies.

 

 

''Okay, but don't get any ideas on sleeping with Chris yet. The relationship is still fresh.'' I said.

 

''I know, it's to early anyways.'' Rikki says with a smile.

 

 

''Great, now let's do something fun for our last day here.'' I said.

 

''I'll change. I know a place.'' Rikki says, exiting Bella's hotel room.

 

 

 

The creak of the door sounds in the air as Marybella and I are left in the middle of her hotel room.

 

''So you guys did it huh?'' Marybella says softly.

 

 

''Yeah,...'' I started.

 

Marybella tilts her head. She knew I wanted to talk.

 

''But part of me wants to regret it. But part of me doesn't,...because now me and Jacob are happy.'' I said.

 

 

Marybella slowly walks towards me.

 

''Well, as long as you're happy.'' she says.

 

 

Marybella smirks at me as she exits for the bathroom. I lay down on the bed waiting for her.

 

I sighed as I felt my tense muscles relax, finally.

 

 

At least they understand now and the fight is overwith.

 

Now I just hope they won't accidently spill it to Jacob or the guys.

 

 

I just only hope, if it was the right decision that I feel regretful for.

   

-- 

 

''Drive slowly!!'' I yelled.

 

 

Rikki was going overboard on the rental car. We were driving up in Rio before we leave.

 

''Slow down, I think i'm getting car sick.'' Marybella says.

 

She sits in the back holding her mouth, the wind running over our faces.

 

 

Rikki just had to choose a car with no hood, and it had to be red.

 

''There it is!!'' Rikki yells over the loud engine.

 

 

The big jesus statue was just a block away.

 

We all stared in awe as we entered the foreign streets of Brazil. 

 

 

''Please stop!'' Marybella yelled, as Rikki came to a quick pause.

 

 

With the engine roaring in front of us, Marybella got out, balancing herself on the car sidelines.

 

 

''You guys drive, i'll walk.'' she said.

 

''Suit yourself.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki drove off down the sandy ground, up a small village hill. The big statue just ahead of us.

 

It was probably bigger than a skyscraper. In any other words, it's was huge.

 

 

Once we reached it, we parked the rental car at a nearby tourist parking spot. 

 

''Wow, it's so beautiful.'' Rikki says, as she shuts the door behind herself.

 

''I know.'' I said taking off my sunglasses.

 

 

The sun had been hidden behind the clouds, but it was still sunny outside.

 

And just before heading up to follow a tour guide, I hear stumbling come from behind.

 

 

''So how was the walk up?'' Rikki turned to Marybella.

 

''Fine, but better than lasting another moment in that car.'' Marybella said balancing herself up next to us.

 

''Great, now let's go up and take pictures.'' I replied.

 

 

We cling arm in arms, all the way up following the tour guide.

 

And after several things to learn from fit, we finally stand on flat gravel ground below it.

 

 

Staring up in awe of the closeness with the big statue, it was one of the spots where most tourists visit.

 

People here worshipped this statue, and now I see why tourists get wayy into it.

 

 

I was glad Rikki came up with the idea to see one more tourist site. Now we've seen and done mostly everything in Brazil.

 

 

''Would you look at that.'' Rikki says.

 

''Let's take a picture.'' I suggested.

 

 

We all shuffle ourselves in front of my camera. I put my finger near the button to take a shot.

 

''Everyone smile.'' I said.

 

 

Our big smiles spread across our face before the flash blinds us.

 

''Do I look good?'' Marybella asked.

 

 

I looked to the picture from the camera.

 

''Yes, we all look great.'' I replied.

 

 

I had already planned to print it once we go back home, and put it in a collage for a new album book of pictures.

 

This would be a great picture to look back on.

 

 

''Hey, I think I saw an ice cream vender around here. I'll get us popsicles.'' Rikki exclaimed.

 

''Okay,'' I replied to her.

 

 

Rikki rushes over, as me and Marybella continue looking at the big statue above us.

 

And on the dusty ground of the village nearby, we both look around as more tourists come to take pictures.

 

 

In just a minute, Rikki comes back with 3 popsicles, all different colors.

 

A smile on her face as she approaches us.

 

 

''Here ya go.'' she said.

 

 

Rikki handed me an orange popsicle and Marybella yellow, while Rikki took red.

 

 

''So what should we do next?'' I asked.

 

''Why don't we drive back to the hotel, lunch is only 6 minutes from now. Jacob and the guys must be back there by then.'' Rikki said.

 

''Just the thought of food makes me sick.'' Marybella says.

 

 

I smiled for second as we walk back to the rental car.

 

  

''Elle, can you sit with me in the back?'' Marybella says approaching the car.

 

''Why? You can sit in the front if you want.'' I replied.

 

''In the death seat?!'' she shot back.

 

 

"You're overexaggerating." I said.

 

''Look, I know you don't like fast driving especially near the end of cliffs and hills or roads, but Elle,... she's not gonna stop whining unless you do it.'' Rikki interuppted.

 

 

I looked to Marybella who had on her puppy dog eyes, I knew she was scared but it'd be better than hearing her whine the whole time for Rikki to slow down.

 

 Better to save my ears for a few minutes.

 

 

''Fine.'' I replied.

 

 

She claps her hands happily, and we drive back to the hotel.

 

And with Rikki on the verge of driving us into the ocean, she drove more faster on the roads than usual.

 

''Rikki stop!'' I yelled in excitement.

 

 

Rikki turns back with a smile on her face. She thought this was funny. And all I could hear was screaming from Marybella.

 

I clinged to Marybella's arm as I smiled, watching the boats on the water below as we drove past.

 

 

Marybella slowly stops screaming.

 

Then all of the sudden started laughing, she was laughing at herself. 

 

 

Just the 3 of us laughing and driving a back to the hotel.

 

Nothing but smiles on our faces.

  

 

 

When we arrived back to the hotel, into the cool air, I take off my sunglasses as the sun shines inside from outdoors.

 

 

The lunch hall was filling up, we gotta get in as fast as possible.

 

 

''Do you think the guys forgot about lunch?'' Rikki asked.

 

''No, it'll be just wait a minute. And if they don't come, let's eat.'' I said.

 

 

Just before even sitting down at our usual table, we see Jacob, Mark and Chris coming in.

 

Big smiles on their face as they saw us. I smiled at the sight of Jacob walking over.

 

 

''Hey, we were wondering where you guys were.'' Rikki says to Chris, who takes a seat next to her.

 

''Just a little late, we got caught in traffic.'' Chris replied, then planting a kiss on her cheek.

 

 

Jacob takes a seat next to me on the right, following Mark sitting next to Marybella who's on my left.

 

While Chris and Rikki are across from each of us.

 

 

''So let's get lunch, i'm starving.'' Rikki said.

 

 

I'm the first to get up from the table, everyone else follows behind me.

 

There were all kinds of food served for lunch.

 

I was eager to taste everything.

 

 

''Elle,...slow down, I think you're gonna gain a lot weight of vacation.'' Rikki said.

 

 

I smiled as I grabbed a bowl of fruit to put on my plate. I didn't care, tropical food can make anyone love eating more than before.

 

 

We all got our plates full and sat back down at our table.

 

 

''So what happened while me and the girls were at the tourist sites?'' Rikki asked the guys.

 

''We took a quick tour around the country side of Brazil. It was fun until Mark got stuck in a mud puddle while on our way back from a tropical slide.'' Chris answers.

 

''Really, how did you manage to keep your clothes clean?'' Marybella said to Mark.

 

 

''I kind of bought new ones.'' Mark replied. He chuckles.

 

''You what?'' Marybella said abrupt.

 

 

She attempted to throw a look and a smack to Mark's arm, but got held up by his response.

 

''My old clothes were ruined and couldn't be washed, I just hoped you wouldn't notice.'' he replied.

 

 

A clear anger glowed from Marybella. She was mad, but took a deep breath.

 

''I'm going to kill you when we get home.'' she said jokingly.

 

 

''And what about you?'' I asked Jacob.

 

He turns his attention to me from his mouthful of bread.

 

He smiles a sheepish smirk then swallows to answer me.

 

 

''Unlike these guys, I was the responsible one. I made sure we got back in time for lunch. These fools kept trying to persuade me to stay longer.'' Jacob points to Chris and Mark.

 

''What, guys can't have fun on vacation?'' Mark replied.

 

 

I smile as Jacob puts an arm around me. 

 

''And you Chris?'' I said.

 

I take my drink in a glass cup towards my lips as I waited for his answer.

 

 

He looks up from Rikki to me. 

 

''Let's just be glad you guys are here right now, instead of flying off to Tierra del Fugeo on a private jet.'' Chris says with a smile.

 

He turns back to Rikki, as my eyes look back down to my half empty plate of food.

 

 

Before I can take a bite of my pineapple bits, i'm pulled by my left arm from the table.

 

I look to Jacob, he gets me to my feet.

 

 

''Hey what's up?'' I said to him.

 

''Sorry, I need to talk with you.'' he replies.

 

 

He pulls me from the table, out towards the beach patio entrance.

 

As soon as we're outside, I look back to the gang sitting at our table watching us leave.

 

 

 

''What did you want to talk about?'' I ask, when Jacob let's go of my arm.

 

 

Instead of saying a word, he leans in to kiss me on the lips.

 

It wasn't long before my hands trail up his neck, we deepend the kiss breiflt before he let's go.

 

 

 His lips leave mine, i look back into his eyes.

 

''You missed me?'' I ask.

 

''I missed you.'' he replied with a smile.

 

 

''You pulled me from lunch to kiss me, and tell me how much you miss me?'' I replied with a smile.

 

''I wanna spend time with you later today. Before we head home and forget about competition for the rest of the year.'' he says.

 

 

''I'd like that.'' I reply.

 

''Hey, you guys?'' yelled Marybella from inside.

 

 

 

We both turned our heads back inside to see their smiling faces. I looked away back to Jacob.

 

I lean in to whisper in his ear.

 

 

''Shall we say, before dinner?'' I said.

 

''Perfect.'' he said back softly.

 

 

We go back in hand and hand with smiles and we continued on with lunch.

 

 

I'm glad we got to stay another day, cause now we can all be happy together.

 

-- 

 

''Just close your eyes.'' Jacob says.

 

 

I smile as i'm led with his hands on a soft sandy ground. We were on the beach.

 

''Where are you taking me?'' I asked, still smiling.

 

''Just keep them closed.'' he said.

 

 

I slightly trip over, but he catches me. He had surprised me with a new black dress and a note to meet him near the beach.

  

 

''Okay, open your eyes.'' he says.

 

 

I open my eyes, finally, to the beautiful sunset view ahead. A candlelit table was nearby.

 

My smile grew wider. I was dressed up for a date on the beach.

 

 

We hadn't been on a date in a while.

 

And now was just a good time.

 

 

''You didn't have to.'' I finally said.

 

 

''No, I did it because we at least deserve on on vacation.'' Jacob reassures.

 

I smile as he pulls me to the table.

 

This was just what I needed.

 

 

He motions for me to sit down. The glowing candles on the table flicker in the wind.

 

The cool sand beneath my feet dug around as I sat. He sits down across from me.

 

 

 

''So what do you think, about our last full day here? Was it fun?'' he asked.

 

''Yes, it was fun and worth the competition.'' I replied, grabbing a glass of white wine.

 

 

I held it up to my lips as I took a sip.

 

 

It was delicious, nothing i've never tasted before.

 

I wondered if he spent money just to get a good quality of it.

 

 

''I'm so glad competition is over, now we can relax. What do you want to do when we get back from Brazil?'' Jacob asks.

 

''I don't know, maybe we can discuss marriage some more.'' I replied setting down glass.

 

 

I look down to the plate with chocolate dessert on it. I smiled down at it before picking up my fork.

 

Jacob chuckled in response.

 

 

''Marriage? Didn't we already address it this week?'' he said with a smile.

 

''Yeah, but I want to go into full discussion on marriage. I mean we've been together for a long time right?'' I replied.

 

I took a huge bite of cake as I wait for him to answer.

 

 

''Don't you think it's a little too early right now? I mean we just started getting along again.'' he cuts in.

 

''What do you mean getting along again? We have since we started dating.'' I replied.

 

 

It kind ticked me off about the fact that he didn't think about marriage again.

 

We both want to be together and that also means we'll get married.

 

I just hope he's still on the same track.

 

 

''I know, but ever since-'' he started, then trailing off.

 

''Please don't bring up where I was last year, I was in a difficult position.'' I replied.

 

"You're not the only one in a difficult position last year." he exclaimed.

 

 

I set down my fork as my eyes set to the table again.

 

I didn't look back up at him again, I was determind to continue talking.

 

 

We both looked down, not saying another word.

 

 

''It just kind of hurts me to think that I was in a difficult position too." I say suddenly.

 

"I lost you for over a year and you did nothing to fix our relationship.'' Jacob finally says.

 

 

I finally look up at him with hurt eyes.

 

''What's that suppose to mean? I put effort into our relationship when I got back from jail. Like you did.'' I replied.

 

 

I sat up straight in the chair as I stared down Jacob.

 

I was angry at this point. I needed him to understand that i've been through a lot and we both need reassurance.

 

About our relationship.

 

 

''Yeah, but I made the first move. I made sure you were okay and asked if you missed me. You left us, all of us. Me and the gang.'' Jacob replies seriously.

 

 

''And I expect you to forgive me. This is the future. We need to let go, i'm still learning to let go.'' I replied quickly.

 

 

I sat back angrily in my chair, not saying anything for a while.

  

 

''You know, it just seems weird to me that we reconnect on this vacation and how weird it's going to be when we go back home, knowing we don't have someone interuppting us all the time. Summer is here, and we have to talk about-" he starts.

 

"Marriage some time soon.'' I interuppt.

 

 

 I reached my arms back over to my glass of wine and I took a big swing.

 

Jacob finally leaves his plate full of uneaten cake and sets down his fork.

 

He stands up and walks far off from the table.

 

 

He stares at the sun in the distance going down.

 

I cross my arms over my chest as U sat quietly at the table, waiting for him to say something.

 

He looks back with his hand covering his mouth.

 

 

''It's always about the future with you, why can't we just live in the present?'' Jacob says.

 

 

I get up on instinct, walking over to him.

 

''Because we are. The present is what's happening right now. We have to start thinking about the future, because also,...the future is now.'' I replied getting louder.

 

 

He sighs as I continue to look back at him. He didn't understand.

 

Girls have a tendency to see the future in most people and guys don't. They just seem to think about right now.

 

 

But we talked about this. We wanted kids and to get married. Now I really regret our new connection brought on by this vacation.

 

 

''Can we for once just not think about the future, can we focus on us.'' he replied silently.

 

''We've been focusing on us this whole time. But what about our future? Are we just gonna let it pass by without thinking, if we deserve a good future-'' I started.

 

 

''We do deserve a good future, together. But not everyone needs to plan for their future. Can't we just forget about it.'' he said back.

 

 

I shut up in utter awe. I've never seen him like this since our last big fight in Paris.

 

It;s the only thing keeping me from that thought of breaking things.

 

 

''Wow, you're gonna stand there and tell me to forget everything i've dreamed about. Jacob, I just got out of jail a while ago, I want to start a new future. I'm not done thinking about having a,...perfect future.'' I shot back.

 

 

Jacob lowers his head, then looks back up at me.

 

I walk slowly near him.

 

''While I was suffering, serving my time, I never thought about what my future was gonna be after I get out. I felt like I didn't deserve a good future after what I did.'' I said.

 

"But you got one." he says.

 

 

Jacob still continues to look at me.

 

''I've been at the moment when I wanted to forget what my future is going to be. But life gave me hope. I had a new plan for once.'' I replied softly.

 

 

''You always have a plan to fix everything.'' Jacob said.

 

 

I choke back on my words, I swallowed the lump in my throat.

 

Even the tone set by his words made me silent.

 

He didn't mean that. Right?

 

Was he actually being serious?

 

 

''I wanted to fix what I had lost and broken. Rhe world seemed to stop in time. It stayed frozen when I was gone. I am n trying to fix what I left behind.'' I said.

 

''Well you can't fix it.'' Jacob says raising his voice.

 

 

I felt tears begin to form, this wasn't Jacob.

 

It was nothing like him to say any of this to me.

 

 

''The past already holds what made you the person you are now. Everything's changed Elle, you can't fix it again. You made a choice in the past and took a risk for your life. You can't think about having a great future after what you've done.'' he replies.

 

 

I finally realized what he was saying. That most of my past and future is based on me.

 

How I felt and what I wanted to change, how it was effecting me now.

 

 

I tried to hold back on tears, but one just seemed to fall.

 

This was not at all what I wanted to think or talk about with Jacob. And it hurts.

 

 

''What happened to thinking 'no matter what people say i'm still going to be with Elle'. The one you fell in love with. Where are you now Jacob?'' I said.

 

 

A breif moment of silence passed as I saw the sky turn grey. The water crashes on the sand.

 

Wind blowing against our skin.

 

 

''What are you saying now? What's done in the past will stay in the past? But now we need to think about the future-''' I said.

 

 

''I...i, just don't want to talk about the future right now. It's too much.'' Jacob interuppts.

 

''So when are we gonna talk about the future, when Jacob?'' I replied with full tears in my eyes.

 

 

I let out a slight sob i've been trying to hold as I continued to look at him.

 

 

''Another time, just not now.'' Jacob says walking past me.

 

 

I turn around to face him as I watched him leave.

 

''The future is now, we can't escape it. We need a plan if we're going to be together!'' I yelled to him.

 

 

The wind picked up speed as I watch him walk ahead of me, heading back to the hotel.

 

Cloudy skies begin to form.

 

 

Thunder roared from above. I looked up to feel sprinkles of rain begin to form.

 

I look back over to Jacob.

 

 

''What are we going to do now?'' I replied softly.

 

He still continues to walk as I watched him. 

 

 

I begin to shake my head. This was not at all what I expected from Jacob.

 

I pushed my hands to my face as I wiped my tears before letting them down again.

  

 

''What happened to you?'' I said in a sob.

 

 

There's no reply or even a hesitation from Jacob, only the sounds of thunder and pattering rain falling down.

 

Rain slowly growing and eventually covering the sand.

 

 

I look up to the grey sky and rain pouring down, drenching my dress. My hair begans to ripple in the movement of the rain.

 

 

I was completely soaking wet, in the rain.

 

 

This wasn't the Jacob I knew, he wouldn't start an argument about the future just like that.

 

He wasn't himself.

 

I just want him to tell me what's wrong. Why he didn't believe that we could have a good future together.

 

 

But instead,  I cried softly on the beach.

 

Was he afraid that I wouldn't be happy if we didn't continue on together?

  

--

 

Everyone was enjoying dinner down as I starting packing my stuff u. Still no sign of Jacob anywhere. 

 

 

I don't know if i'll be able to talk to him without fighting. This relationship took a sudden turn I was afriad to think was happening.

 

 

It isn't always rainbows and sunshine in relationships, it's hard work. And i've never worked so hard to persuade Jacob into thinking we could be alright in the future.

 

 

 

The door clicks as I turn to see Rikki and Marybella enter in.

 

I tried to hide a sob as I continued to pack.

 

 

In the rain.

 

In the freezing rain, he left me there.

 

Thinking if we were gonna be alright.

 

 

I felt the dirty pit feeling you had when you know you can't make something right.

 

The feeling of despair and anger, the feeling of regret.

 

Denial.

 

 

The thought of thinking we'd be happy for once.

 

I cry softly as I lifted my big maroon sweater up to my eyes to wipe my tears again.

 

 

Maybe he ran away because he was scared of a huge commitment.

 

But I can make it alright, I can tell him commitment is just another word for the rest of your life.

 

 

I think he was more afraid of the future than I was.

 

 

My frustration turns to Rikki and Marybella with their worried faces fixed on me.

 

 

''Where have you been? We missed you at dinner. Be glad that their still serving, so get dressed.'' Rikki says.

 

 

The feeling of another voice in the room made me wallow in silence, I was upset.

 

I wasn't happy for once.

 

 

''Get up, why are you dressed like a mom?'' Marybella asked me, approaching Rikki's side.

 

 

It was safe for her to say that, I had on a big sweater and sweatpants.

 

I was dressed as if nothing mattered.

 

 

Then he comes into my mind again.

 

Jacob would have seen me as a mom. Marybella was my inspriation for being a mom soon.

 

 

''What if Jacob doesn't want a future with me?'' I said.

 

 

My thoughts turn upsetting as I began to cry again in greif. I ducked my head down as I slowly began to sob again.

 

 

Rikki and Marybella stood in silence watching me. I sniff and try to remember why i'm here.

 

 

''Come on Elle, get up, why are you sad?'' Rikki says sitting up on the bed near me.

 

I whine into my sweater again. I didn't want to tell anyone.

 

 

''Elle, what happened? We saw Jacob leave with his things from the hotel.'' Marybella said.

 

My head pops up at the end of her words.

 

 

''What, he left?'' I asked.

 

 

My last few tears stopped forming as i'm alert to hear her words again.

 

I sat up at attention, this brought pure shock to me.

 

I was too busy thinking he wouldn't want to talk anymore.

 

 

''What do you mean he left? We just talked earlier.'' I said.

 

''Yeah, I tried stopping him but he said he didn't want to talk about it. Something off about Jacob i've never seen before.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

''Wasn't Jacob with you on the beach?'' Marybella adds.

 

''We got in a huge fight and he didn't want to talk. He said things..i've never expected from him. It was different.'' I said.

 

I sniffed one last time, before pulling a piece of my baby hairs back as I looked down to my partially packed suticase.

 

 

 

''You guys got into a fight?'' Rikki said comforting me.

 

''I don't know, he just flipped out on me and U tried to persuade him to not think our future would be horrible. He said something about how things have changed when I came back and I can't change the past.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki's arms slither around me as iI wiped away the left over tears on my cheeks.

 

I felt sad that he left without even telling me.

 

 

I was too busy wondering if we'd talk again to notice his luggage was gone, and now he's going to leave me.

 

Was this his way of thinking?

 

 

''Ah, you poor thing. I knew from the beginning when you guys, did it you'd regret it and he'd leave. I knew it.'' Rikki said.

 

''No-'' I started.

  

 

But i'm caught off by my thoughts.

 

Maybe U was regretting it, maybe it was a mistake to think it'd be worth it since we'll be together.

 

 

''Maybe I do, a little, but the thought never came to mind.'' I said softly.

 

''Don't worry, you've got us. You don't need Jacob right now-'' Rikki said.

 

 

''No, I do. I need to tell him our future is going to be alright. Even if he believes it or not.'' I jumped to say.

 

 

''So where's your loyal boyfriend now?'' Marybella asks wittingly.

 

''He's probably on the next plane home.'' I replied sadly.

 

 

''Stop lowering yourself down and get dressed.'' Rikki said lifting my head up.

 

 

I turn to my side, I felt them exchange looks.

 

The grey sky from the windows still fall over us through the windows.

 

He was still out there.

 

  

''Look we get that you're sad, but at least eat dinner with us.'' Rikki said.

 

''No, i'll order room service.'' I replied angrily.

 

''Room service will sky rocket your hotel bill. You can't let Lauren spend thousands of dollars on prepared food, breakfast, lunch and dinner, to sit in your room and eat overpriced meals.'' Rikki implied.

 

''Yeah besides, we'll make you feel comfortable at the table.'' Marybella said.

 

 

I finally turn my head to them. It was a great thing to not eat dinner alone, but I still felt sad.

 

''Fine, but only because you'll be next to me.'' I said.

 

-- 

 

''Are you sure I look fine?'' U asked.

 

''Relax, you look beautiful. Now remain calm and don't look sad.'' Rikki whispers.

 

 

Most people turned around and stared then looked back to their plates.

 

 

I look across our table to see Rikki and Chris talking as they smiled.

 

I sighed deeply as my eyes slightly fell down.

 

Even for that moment, Rikki had a better love life than me. And I was jealous.

 

 

''Let's eat.'' Bella said.

 

''Wait, Jacob isn't here. Where is he?'' Chris asks.

 

 

There was silence for a moment, no one spoke.

 

 

''Chris.'' Rikki muttered at him.

 

She whispers gently to his ears. He responds with an upset expression to her.

 

''What?'' he replies.

 

 

''Alright, let's all eat.'' Marybella interuppts, anxious.

 

Bella was sure enough trying to make dinner as normal as possible, without Jacob.

 

It was not working so far.

 

 

She layed out her napkin on her lap as it folds in the air grabbing everyone's attention at the table.

 

Marybella takes a sip of her drink as we all slightly stare at her.

 

Cleary she was tense and trying to make this work.

 

 

A waiter comes around with my plate full of dinner once I turn from Bella finally.

 

 

It all looked good, but I didn't feel that hungry. All of this made the tension of being alone rise.

  

I look over to the empty seat to my right.

 

My eyes grew tired as I forced myself to look away.

 

 

 

I look up to Rikki with a worried look on her face, I turn away again.

 

I didn't feel like talking. But before Rikki could get up or say something, Lauren plops down next to me.

 

 

''Elle, where have you been throughout dinner?'' Lauren asks.

 

She was sweating like crazy, probably from socializing. A drink in her hand as she speaks.

 

 

''I kind of had a mental breakdown, but i'm fine.'' I replied, trying to sound like myself.

 

''Well, if you say so, but note that Jacob isn't here. I saw him earlier taking his luggage.'' Lauren says.

 

''Yeah, I know.'' I said, my voice kind of low.

 

 

My head lowers as my lasting thoughts came back.

 

What I wanted to di was cry on instinct and leave so that Rikki could find me and comfort me.

 

Even in just the mention of his name, I was worried if she knew where he went.

 

 

Maybe she talked to him.

 

 

When I turned back to Lauren, she's spaced out for a moment. Then she takes a sip from her cup.

 

She must have been drinking tonight because she smiled the entire time while I spoke.

 

 

''Lauren are you drunk?'' I asked.

 

''No, no, no....i'm not. Whym are you?'' she replies.

 

''Not yett.'' I replied grabbing my drink in front of my dinner.

 

 

Lauren hums a tune then turns her head to me swiftly.

 

She was completely drunk.

 

I sigh as I sat back in my chair.

 

 

Lauren reaches for another cup full of liqour that passes by on a tray from a waiter.

 

My thoughts begin forming again if I should leave and find him or worry later and eat something. 

 

 

I mean, I can persuade Jacob into thinking it'd be fine if we finally decide to get hitched and think about the future.

 

I just wanted a change for once, something that didn't revolve around my past.

 

 

Just for once.

 

 

''I don't know about you but,....are you eating that?'' Lauren finally says.

 

I look down to my uneaten plate. 

 

 

Green beans with baby back ribs.

 

 

''No.'' I said pushing the plate to her.

 

She grabs it in excitement digging in. I didn't know if it was okay to eat while drunk, but Lauren did.

 

I pick up my fork lazily and point it to her, she pushes it away as she digs into the food with her hands.

 

 

''Okay.'' I said silently, setting the fork back in front of me.

 

 

I cross my arms over the red dress that I wore just a few nights ago.

 

From when me and Jacob talked that night about the future and our scandelous makeout.

 

Even just looking at it gave me bad vibes.

 

  

Even my own thoughts wanted to escape from me. I was afraid and alone.

 

Jacob wasn't here to make it alright, and i'm not there for him to make things right.

 

 

I had enough of sitting here in this pity party Rikki and Marybella called dinner.

 

I get up from my chair as I make my way out.

 

''Elle,...did you say something?'' Rikki shouts after me.

 

 

I walk faster out of the dinner hall. I was tired of the talks and the awkward conversation about Jacob.

 

I needed him here but he wasn't.

 

 

Footsteps follow behind me, I heard them pace up to me.

 

''Elle wait up.'' Marybella said.

 

 

I paced faster until I reached an open elevator. I pressed the button to go up but Rikki and Marybella stopped in time to talk.

 

 

''Elle why are you leaving?'' Marybella asked.

 

 

They had worried looks in her eyes, and me with the same.

 

 

''I don't want to talk right now, I just need sleep.'' I replied.

 

''You can't go to sleep upset, you haven't eaten yet.'' Rikki says.

 

 

''Watch me.'' I replied again, getting in the elevator.

 

I turned around to face them.

 

Marybella puts her foot for the doors to stop closing.

 

 

''Can't you at least finish dinner with us?'' Marybella asks, shuffling.

 

''Good night Marybella.'' I stated.

 

 

I smashed the up button as I watch Marybella and Rikki's worried faces disappear.

 

I'm left alone in the elevator, blurred stainless steel walls surrounding me.

 

 

I was sad enough to miss and think that it was my fault why he walked out on me.

 

We planned to have a future together, and maybe he doesn't see that now.

 

 

We both see ourselves together. But I think Jacob's having seconds thoughts.

 

Everything was just fine until, I brought it up again.

 

 

Now we both have something to apologize and discuss for again.

 

 

I sighed as my head leaned up to look at the bright lights.

 

I was hoping, wondering if he was okay. I just hope he understands that I want change.

 

But he's also right. I did want to change my future.

 

 

  

I think that's the reason why he stormed off on me.

 

Because he thinks the future may not be what I think it is for us.

 

  

Maybe that's it.

  

Maybe he just sees us together, but not forever.

 

 

He's probably afraid of losing me right now.

 

He gave up so quickly to talk about the future.

 

 

I close my eyes for a brief second.

 

What was I going to do now?

 

Or what was Jacob going to do?

 

 

We both don't know right now.

 

 

But, it's just right now.

 

Chapter Fourteen: Stranded Thoughts

 

Jacob's P.O.V

  

My eyes open calmly, the ocean and the cool air breathing into the room.

 

 

I groaned as I reached for the covers, iIunraveled myself from the bed.

 

It was so comfortable. I didn't want to leave, but I had to get up.

 

 

Elle's probably worried sick about me. She probably doesn't even suspect i'm here.

 

I set my feet down on the cold marble floor of the guest room.

 

 

I was glad that Carla let me stay the night. I couldn't bare to go back and face Elle again.

 

I can't imagine if she slept or not.

 

But I have to leave. The others would be disappointed if they don't see me back at the hotel again.

 

 

I hear soft footsteps approach the door.

 

''Hey, you awake?'' Carla says.

 

''Yes.'' I reply.

 

 

Her smile seeps through the small open crack from the door.

  

I was lucky enough to convince her to let me stay the night.

 

I groan as U get up, my arms strech from behind. I twist and turn as my body re-adjusts it'self from the sleep last night.

 

 

 

Several minutes after getting ready, I head to the kitchen. Max is playing with a colorful toy train on the floor. He makes nosies mimicking a train.

 

 

I smiled as I kneel down to see him.

 

''Morning.'' U said.

 

Max smiles back, not saying a word.

 

 

''Hey, breakfast is ready.'' Carla says, coming from the kitchen.

 

 

I got up then head to the kitchen. The windows were open throughout the house.

 

I already loved just being here again.

 

 

''Sooo, how did you sleep?'' Carla says stirring a cup full of tea.

 

''Good. It was nice of you to let me stay.'' I said.

 

''Anything for a friend, that I used to babysit.'' Carla replied.

 

"Looked after, I was a teen."

 

"Ha, teen gone adult so soon. You were eighteen."

 

 

I sat down on a bar stool near the open counter top full of breakfast.

 

It seemed better than the hotel served food.

 

It was fresh from the market and ready to be eaten.

 

 

I dig in to pile my plate with fruits and toast. Then i'm stopped when I reach for a cup of orange juice.

 

Carla places a knife ahead of my fingers as she gave a reassuring look.

 

 

''Before you drink anything, tell me why you were knocking at my door at 11:39pm?'' Carla says.

 

Her hand pushes my fingers away, I swallow the rest of my food.

 

 

She sets the knife down as I turn to her. Carla crosses her arms over her chest.

 

Her big belly right in front of us.

 

I can't lie to a pregnant Carla, she'll tear me limb from limb.

 

 

''I came here because I needed a place to stay.'' I replied.

 

I turn back to my plate full of food, but i'm viciously turned back by Carla.

 

 

''Come on Jacob, I know you. Tell me.'' Carla demands.

 

I sigh as I looked down to the ground. I look up to her concerned face.

 

 

Wind blows in from outside, making her hair flow in the still air. I focused my eyes back to my shoes but eventually I looked back up.

 

 

''Me and Elle got into an arguement,...I stormed out on her.'' I exclaimed.

 

''We no wonder. So you finally cracked.'' Carla said.

 

''No,...I just have last minute thoughts. She was happy about going back home and starting a great future....what was I suppose to say?'' I replied.

 

''Say you love her, and that you respect the decision you guys made. You and Elle have a pretty good relationship. Why ruin it?'' Carla replied.

 

 

''I didn't mean to, it just hit me that...we're going so fast. Our future is almost here.'' I replied.

 

''The future isn't exactly that fast. Why are you stressing out?'' Carla said.

 

''Because it's hard enough to think about the amount of regret she has floating through her head since we-'' I started.

 

 

Carla leans on the countertop for me to finish.

 

''Since you guys what?'' she asks.

 

 

I almost choked on my words. 

 

I knew Carla would get mad if I told her. She'll make me re-think everything in a new perspective.

 

 

''We made a decision together and it's kind of a big deal.'' I replied

 

''Something you know she'll regret soon enough huh?'' Carla says

 

''Yeah,...I just feel like i'm going to let her down. So that's why we got in the argument.'' I replied.

 

 

''So it's entirely your fault, you didn't want to talk about the future.'' Carla replied.

 

''I guess you can say that.'' I said.

 

 

 

Carla sighs letting herself lean up from the countertop. She leans in next to me.

 

''You know i've watched you and Elle grow close since we've all been in London. Now you're suddenly afraid to think about the future with her? She's been in jail for god's sake.'' she says.

 

''I know that.'' i replied.

 

 

''So why do you want to tear down her walls for thinking of a decent future since she's been gone. Do you really wanna wreck that dream of her's for your opinion?'' Carla stated.

 

 

I sigh, brushing my hand over head.

 

Maybe I haven't thought about that. I was too busy in my head to think about what she wants.

 

What we want.

 

 

I know she's been through enough, but I don't know if i'm ready to finally commit and regain a good relationship.

 

And watch us grow more and see our future.

 

 

''I didn't think it would come faster than expected. I don't know if i'm sure I even want to propose.'' I replied.

 

''Believe me, we all get scared when it comes to fully commiting to something. Even in a relationship. Me and Joe have had this problem before.'' Carla replies.

 

 

''Did Joe run away from the thoughts?'' I asked her.

 

''No, he stayed and made sure that what we were about to do is surely what we want. You need to discuss it more with Elle.'' Carla says.

 

 

''But what if it goes wrong? What if I don't want the same dreams as hers. That we wanted-'' I started.

 

''It's fine, you'll get through it. Now go back and apologize, your flight leaves in 2 hours. That's plenty of time for you to make things right before you go home.'' Carla insisted.

 

 

I stood up from my chair, I rush over to Carla and gave a warm hug.

 

I've never took the time to talk or even see her in so long.

 

This was bringing back so many memories of our times in London.

 

 

Back where it all started.

 

 

''Now go, you'll miss your chance if you don't leave early.'' Carla says as I pull away.

 

''Bye.'' I said.

 

 

Carla smiles as she watches me move around the house to leave.

 

 

I exit to the guest bedroom, packed everything I brought with me into my bag.

 

I knew the future will be scary, but I can't upset Elle knowing we both made a decision. And I can't make her regret it.

 

 

We've already discussed our future plans, but it seems we're going so fast. Like vacation came to an end and now reality had struck.

  

I shouldn't have run out on her. She knew I decided it with her. That what we want.

 

 

And I need to realize that.

 

I give the house one more look before Carla pops to the side watching me head to door.

 

She gives me a warm smile.

 

 

I return a smile too.

 

 

 

We hug again before I head out the door. It was quite sunny today.

 

The sun beats down on my face making me bat my lashes.

 

 

I had to confront Elle, and fast. 

 

I look onto the road and began pacing.

 

--

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

I threw my last bag into the bus. I sighed as I looked up into the view ahead.

 

No sign of Jacob or anything.

 

 

''Relax, he's either on his way here or back home where's he's safe.'' Rikki says.

 

She puts her arm on my shoulder.

 

 

I don't answer as I look down at what I wore today, a pink salmon satin dress. 

 

It reached just above my knees and I had a thin shawl over it.

 

 

''Oh, honey. I know it's hard to think about how he upset you. But just know we're here for you.'' Marybella says.

 

She wraps her arms around me. Hugging from behind.

 

 

I lay my head back nearing her necks. She breaths in deeply as I open my eyes and close it again.

 

''15 minutes before we depart to the airport.'' Lauren says.

 

 

We quit our embrace, as co-workers begin loading onto the bus.

 

 

''I don't know if he's gonna be here.'' I muttered.

 

 

I hear footsteps approach from my right as I turn my head to the hotel once again.

 

Goodbye beautiful Brazil, hopefully i'll see you again.

 

 

 

''Elle.'' said a voice.

 

I turn my head in alert.

 

There he was just in time. I open my mouth at his presence.

 

 

I stutter as I begin to approach him. ''Jacob-'' I started.

 

''Hold on, just let me say something.'' he interuppted me.

 

 

He grabs my hands into his. Clearly he missed me.

 

I was dying to be able to touch his skin again. I close my mouth in preparation for his answer, he goes quiet.

 

Only staring into my eyes.

 

 

''What?'' I asked quietly.

 

He's silent for second then speaks.

 

 

''I'm sorry for last night, I was having last minute thoughts and I want you to be happy.'' he says.

 

''Wa-, was that all?'' I replied confused.

 

''I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for us to fight, I...something just came over me.'' Jacob says.

 

 

He pulls my hands up to his mouth, planting a kiss on each one.

 

My expression for confusion still hasn't changed as I looked up to him.

 

 

''Jacob,...'' I started.

 

I let my hands drift from his. I wanted to explain what I had been feeling since he disappeared last night.

 

But instead of saying it right away, U crossed my arms over my chest.

 

I was completely mad now.

 

 

''You left me on the beach, you yelled at me and said things that didn't make sense. Why suddenly now do you want to apologize?'' I replied.

 

 

I knew, I knew I should have replied with kisses and asked if he was fine.

 

But I had something else to say.

 

 

''I know, I just ruined everything for us. It was the thought of not making you happy that overcame me.'' he replied.

 

  

''I know how you feel, but that doesn't make up for why you suddenly left without reasoning with me.'' I replied

 

 

I knew I should have just forgiven him and moved on to hugging and apologizing, but I needed reassurance.

 

The pieces didn't fit together on why he left.

 

 

''Alright, departure in full swing. Last minute, people get on, we leave now.'' Lauren yelled from the bus.

 

 

I looked to her, then to Jacob. I uncrossed my arms from my chest.

 

Rikki and Marybella join my side as we enter onto the bus.

 

As I went onto the bus, I could feel Jacob getting upset as I tried not to look at him again.

 

 

When I sat down on a seat, I told Rikki earlier to sit next to me on the ride to the airport and home. 

 

I didn't want to talk to Jacob.

 

And the surprise on Jacob's face rose when he entered the bus.

 

 

He was quick to find a empty seat far in the back.

 

I hadn't looked up the whole time to see him.

 

 

With my arms still crossed over my chest, Rikki leans in to look at me from her seat next to me.

 

 

''You know you can just talk about it without feeling guilty for the reason why he left you alone last night.'' she says.

 

''No thanks, we'll talk when he learns what it's like. What it felt like last night.'' I replied.

 

''That's not right, he'll only feel even more bad about the fact that he made you angry.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

My head stayed glued to the window. I looked out into it. The bus turns down the road speeding up.

 

Finally for once, drama on vacation was over.

 

 

I was finally gonna get my life back to normal. But this time it probably wasn't going to be with Jacob.

 

 

What did he mean by last minute thoughts?

 

Did he not want to have a family, or even marry me? Did he think fighting would solve the confusion?

 

 

 

I don't know what to think about Jacob right now, he left me to my own thoughts and now he needs to know how I feel.

 

Pain. And hurt.

 

-- 

 

Rikki paces behind me. She tries to slow me down but I run up ahead in full speed.

 

I wanted to avoid conversation and I didn't want to talk.

 

 

I didn't want me and Jacob to fight or have a serious conversation on the way home.

 

It'll make our thoughts about our plans, more difficult.

 

 

 

''Thank you, have a nice flight.'' says a lady.

 

She takes my ticket as I enter into the plane quickly. 

 

 

Marybella, Rikki and I head up to our assigned seats.

 

By the time I found my seat, I almost forgot that I had a seat next to Jacob.

 

 

That made me feel nervous and fatigued. Rikki wouldn't be able to sit next to me.

 

 

I had depended on Rikki this whole time since yesterday to bring me up.

 

 

''Please find your assigned seats.'' said the flight attendant.

 

I sit down in my seat, taking off my thin shawl and setting it down.

 

My hearts throbs in preparation for Jacob to sit next to me.

 

 

I hadn't thought of what might happen when my plan backfires.

 

 

When Jacob notices me in my seat, my heart rate picks up.

 

I look out into the window to my right.

 

Staring at the workers below loading things into the plane prepared for take off.

 

 

Jacob takes his seat next to me, I sit more comfortably. No eye contact.

 

My arms spread out on the arm rests. I was trying to remain calm.

 

But my breathing made it even more difficult, I was panting.

 

 

A ring goes off as the intercom turns on one last time.

 

''Now we are preparing for take off. Fasten your seatbelts. Refreshments will be served shortly.'' says the flight attendant.

 

 

I take a deep breath and tighten my seat belt. Jacob does the same.

 

I felt my neck grow in pain from turning to the window for some odd minutes. I knew I was not going to look out into the window for to long.

 

Jacob places his hands on the arm rest, his arm gently brushes against me.

 

It gave me chills making me close my eyes.

 

 

I already missed the touch and feeling of his hands on me, but I was still upset about earlier.

 

It wasn't right for him to leave me out of nowhere. But I didn't give him a chance to finish saying why.

 

 

But we'll discuss that back home.

 

I just hope by then he'll understand how I felt the whole time he disappeared last night.

 

And maybe he'll still want to think about the future.

 

 

His arm moves up to where his hand is placed on mine. I shiver a little, his hand was cold.

 

He reassures to me again with a sweet graze over my hand.

 

There was no reponse from me, only heavy breathing.

 

 

I was trying to hold on.

 

 

Jacob fullly plants his hand over mine, and a grip response from me.

 

I was calm to think he wouldn't touch me at all, but he did anyways.

 

That made me smile a little to think he still cares.

 

 

I slowly look up from the window as we take off into the sky.

 

Sunny weather drifting away as we move into the clouds.

 

 

My head turns up to look at him, my eyes cross over to get a small glimpse of his dimples. I could see the lookt in his eyes.

 

He felt left out, as if I had abandoned him like how he did with me.

 

My lips part to say something but nothing comes out, my eyes finally stare into his.

 

 

The brown colored eyes he had, stared back into mine. I stuttered, breathing heavily.

 

I was scared to say something.

 

 

I didn't want us to fight, especially on a flight.

 

His lips part to form an open gap. No reponse from him either.

 

I could tell he wanted to say something, but we're interuppted.

 

 

''Mr. Callies, your new assigned seat has been confirmed.'' said the flight attendent.

 

We both look up to the flight attendant, a happy look on her face.

 

 

 

He didn't even consider telling me he wanted to change seats, when did he do this?

 

Jacob sighs then gives me a look before leaving the seat next to me.

 

He is followed by the flight attendant back to the seats behind ours.

 

 

I look behind me turning in my seat.

 

 

He only moved back a class seat just for me, but why?

 

 

I was staring at the curtains from the class behind us. I was hoping he'd come back and comfort me again.

 

Not even after 1 minute did I see him come back.

 

 

Suddenly the curtains move. I sit up prepared to see Jacob's face.

 

It was only the flight attendants. 2 of them rushed up to the pilot's pit

 

My upset face clearly showed. I was upset Jacob wanted to do that.

 

 

Without even considering how I'd feel afterwards.

 

 

And then I realized how he must have felt right now/

 

And now I get the taste of what's going on inside his head.

 

 

Rikki swiftly moves up to sit in the seat next to me. I was stunned by her appearance but kinda saddened.

 

She knew I was feeling down.

 

 

I looked behind again. I saw Marybella cuddling into Mark's side.

 

Rikki left her open seat next to the window behind me.

 

  

I had the feeling in the pit of my stomach.

 

 

Rikki reassures me with a smile, she held her hand in mine.

 

 

''It's okay. New York is only just a few hours away. Soon enough we'll be home.'' Rikki says.

 

''But what if he doesn't want to talk to me? Or be with me? What if he thinks I hate him.'' I reply.

 

''Relax, he doesn't. He just had second thoughts, that's all.'' Rikki replies.

 

 

''But what if he hates me too, because of our future?'' I replied alert to Rikki.

 

''Listen. You guys have been together far longer than Jason and I have been. He's not going to break your heart.'' Rikki replied.

 

I sighed.

 

''He has a good heart, he'll never let you down. Just have faith to think that he's fixing the problem right now between you two.'' Rikki said.

 

''Thanks. I should know, I should.'' I whispered.

 

 

My eyes drift from the floor below us to the window again, the clouds descending from the blue sky.

 

I stared into the loneliness of the dark paradise memory that we left in Brazil.

 

 

My eyes grow heavy closing down on me. My thoughts looking back to our fight.

 

That wasn't the right way to end our last day in Brazil.

 

 

To get off on the wrong foot, it wasn't right.

 

I shift in my potential hallucination. It felt wrong to fight and even now, to finish talking.

  

-- 

 

The beeps and loud rings as we exit through the airport, bothered me as I rush to exit outside.

 

Rikki follows behind me.

 

Marybella and Mark follow behind us slowly. But there's no sign of Jacob.

 

 

I just hope he's get's home.

 

''Just relax Elle, we'll find him.'' Rikki said.

 

 

We exit out into the open rain. I look out into the grey dewy view of the city.

 

There's people walking past us that catch me off guard for a second. 

 

''Great, and now rainy weather.'' I said, pulling my hands up.

 

 

I had no umbrella, and I was wearing unbearable rainy sandals to complete the look.

 

''We'll check the house afterwards. Look, here's our ride.'' Rikki reassured me.

 

 

A black van pops up. We all go in with our luggage.

 

Only a few drops of rain had gotten on me. I wasn't completely soaked yet.

 

 

I looked out the window, Mark was in the passenger seat.

 

Marybella was sitting next to me, with Rikki on the right side window.

 

 

Rain poured down constantly on the van.

 

I looked out into the left side window, no famaliar faces.

 

Not even Jacob's.

 

 

It was only rain streaming down onto the window.

 

 

I finally sat back and sighed. How could he just disappear like this?

 

He was really making me worry.

 

 

He had to do it again, and this time in New York.

 

We were back home you could say. But the feeling I was hoping for coming back, wasn't it.

 

 

 

The black van stops onto the street leading to the alley of FARELLE. Lauren had told us to meet at FARELLE for a last minute thing about Brazil.

 

I wanted it to be quick and over so I could find Jacob.

 

I really need him now. No matter if he thinks I hate him. 

 

I love him and I need him now.

 

 

''We're here, don't worry Lauren's speech won't be long.'' Rikki said, opening the door.

 

We all took out our luggage and jogged into FARELLE, I was partially soaked.

 

Wet feet and everything.

 

 

I set down my suitcases next to my desk. The gang do so too.

 

I walk up the step into the desk area. I punch the numbers in the office phone.

 

A few rings pass by.

 

 

No answer from Jacob's phone. He was making me mad now.

 

I needed him to make sure that he was home, or at least somewhere safe.

 

 

I smash the phone down on the stance. I put my hands to my forehead.

 

I just needed to know if he was at least in Manhattan or something.

 

 

''Okay, quick anouncement before everyone can go home.'' Lauren says.

 

We all exit from my desk area and head to the middle of the working area.

 

I cross my arms over my chest.

 

 

Vanessa stands next to Lauren.

 

Lauren speaks first.

 

''Competition is over, now we can celebrate. Summer vacation starts as soon as you exit the doors. But let me remind you that we did it this year. Be prepared to come back to work in August. And our faithful worker Sara is officially fired from the roster, so don't worry about that.'' Lauren says.

 

''Yes. And even though she made us have a big chance to win this year, our company we'll still make great accomplishments without her. Be prepared after summer break. Good day everyone.'' Vanessa says.

 

 

A smile appears on her face as people leave to their separate offices, finally.

 

A relieved sigh overcomes me.

 

 

I head to my my desk area and take my suitcase, the gang follows behind me. 

 

I was determind to find Jacob. This guy was making me crazy.

 

 

 

''Elle, wait up. We all can't walk fast.'' Rikki said.

 

I slightly slowed down. Once we exited outside, my instinct was to go to my car.

 

 

The rain had let up when we were inside and the sun peaked through the clouds a little bit.

 

I reach my car and open the trunk.

 

I put in my suitcase and bags.

 

 

I take off my shawl and put it in as well. ThenI take out a sapphire trench coat and pull it on.

 

 

Even in this rainy weather, I felt like wearing a coat.

 

After finally putting it on I reach for the car door. Then i'm stopped.

 

 

''Elle.'' Rikki said.

 

I look up from approaching my door.

 

Rikki, Marybella and Mark were standing next to each other. Concern in their eyes.

 

 

I was beginning to think I was starting to look crazy tot hem. Like a monster.

 

I sighed as I wrestled my thoughts to find the keys.

 

 

I lean on my car side door, looking to them.

 

''Wer'e worried.'' Marybella says first.

 

''I know, I need to get home and find him. Quick.'' Ireplied.

 

''Well, at least after you get home. Let's go get Taylor from my aunt's instead.'' Marybella suggested.

 

''Maybe not,...you and Mark should go. It's better if you see your daughter.'' I say.

 

 

I lowered my head down. I didn't want to face everyone with a disappointed look.

 

I did this to my own self, and now I need to get it together.

 

 

''At least relax before driving home, I can sense tension.'' Rikki implied.

 

''I will.'' I replied, harshly.

 

 

They all scattered to their own cars. Marybella and Mark gettting into their car first.

 

And Rikki, following behind in her's.

 

I see them all start up their engines and leave. Slowing down to take one look at me.

 

 

I stare into the windows of their cars. Their hopeless eyes staring at me.

 

Soon, I was left alone in the parking lot.

 

 

I open the driver's side door and get in. I was home but I felt alone.

 

I start up the car, driving slowly into the street. I was kicking the speed rate up every minute when I was driving to the suburbs.

 

 

I didn't want to get caught by the police, so I slowed down a few numbers.

 

I needed to find a calm paradise.

 

''Just a few more minutes and you'll be home.'' I said to myself.

 

 

I close them and then open them to a green light. I push on the gas pedal.

 

Only just a few minutes from home. I felt like tearing up the streets.

 

 

I wanted to panic and run free to find Jacob, but I had to remain calm.

 

I wanted to swallow the lump in my throat, but it wouldn't go away.

 

And before even going down the street to our house I felt it rise in me.

 

 

I burst of tears formed. I didn't even know that I was crying.

 

It was abnormal.

 

I felt lost and different even when I landed today.

 

 

Jacob wasn't here. I wanted to fix things but he disappeared right out of my eyesight.

 

Who know's how long he'll be gone. I just hope he comes home soon.

 

 

I pull into the driveway, tears falling down my face.

 

 

I had stopped crying for a second to realize I was home. Safely home.

 

And yet I was alone again.

 

Today would have been a big day for us to finally spend time together, vacation time together.

 

 

 

I get out of the car and grab my belongings.

 

I opened the front door of the house. The empty summer smell flowed from inside.

 

 

The memory of Brazil went through my mind as the smell of beaches and coconuts come to mind.

 

 

I set down my purse near the door. I pulled my luggage and bags near too and close the door.

 

I walked over and layed on the couch, falling down, letting gravity take over.

 

 

I had lost it to gravity for a second. I just wanted to rest for second.

 

But my mind was still on Jacob.

 

Jacob was out there, alone by himself.

 

 

I bet he's thinking of just abandoning me, to let the awkward fights pass by. 

 

My eyes rose at the mention of him leaving me. I grew restless.

 

 

But I was too tired to be angry with him. Maybe he needed to think through it.

 

Maybe it was his way of taking a break.

 

 

My eyelids grew heavy on me. The tv, blank and black. The white coach touching my skin.

 

The soft couch cushion and pillows below me.

 

I layed there motionless.

 

 

No movemet for a long time, nothing but the silence and air.

 

The sun slightly peaking through in the windows. My eyes budged to open but it refused.

 

 

I gave up and decided to nap for a bit. It wasn't a really quick flight.

 

My body rests motionless as my eyes finally make a move to open, then close them.

 

I slightly groaned as I finally felt the comfort feeling sink in.

 

--

  

I heard a knock at the door. My eyes tried to open but it wouldn't budge.

 

I was too tired. I didn't want to answer the door.

 

 

I heard the knob turn as the door is twisted open, with air flowing in.

 

I shot up my head as I am alert.

 

I see a blurred shadow at the door frame, standing tall enough to be Jacob.

 

 

My head rises to get a better look. The light from outside shines over me.

 

I sit up from the couch.

 

It wasn't who I thought i'd be, it was Rikki.

 

 

She just seemed taller from the door frame and where I was sleeping.

 

 

Concern shows on her face as I sink back into the couch.

 

She closes the door then sits down next to me.

 

''Disappointed?'' she finally says.

 

''Yeah, I thought-'' I said.

 

''That and Jacob were finally gonna make up? Have you tried going out, you can't find him on the couch.'' Rikki suggested.

 

''I've been alseep. I had a emotional flight and a moment in the car on the drive home.'' I replied.

 

 

Rikki lays her hand on my back and sits down on the little edge of the couch.

 

I lower my head onto my hands as I pulled my knees to my chest.

 

I was in self-protective mode, curling up my body.

 

 

''I'm sorry, I didn't think-'' Rikki said.

 

''It's fine.'' I replied.

 

 

I rubbed my temples as I sat there. God knows how long Jacob's been gone while I was asleep.

 

I still had no instinct to leave or travel somewhere.

 

This part of me changed after all.

 

 

Things have changed, but I didn't think how it'd effect Jacob.

 

Maybe he's doing the same thing I did when we started dating. If only we'd go back to London and experience it again.

 

I have better words to say.

 

 

Go back in time, to when we first met and how the connection we had then effected us.

 

I just want him home.

 

 

''Hey, he's probably fine. Don't worry, he'll come back to you.'' Rikkis said, rubbing my shoulder.

 

''But what if he doesn't.'' I replied looking up.

 

''Hey. He will, you guys have been together for 3 years, there's no way he's going to leave you now. There are plenty of guys here in New York who'll swope up just in time for your loneliness.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

''Don't think like that.'' I reply, shaking her hands off me.

 

''Well at least be happy, you're home, summer is here. No more work.'' Rikki implied.

 

''I want to spend my summer with Jacob.'' I say.

 

 

I felt gloomy and down. I didn't want to have fun right now.

 

 

''Hey,...'' Rikki reassured.

 

''What?'' I whispered.

 

''How bout you come with me and Chris up to the Hamptons this wednesday and party on his yacht.'' Rikki said.

 

 

I didn't feel like partying on yachts and living the rich life right now. I just wanted Jacob to hold me in his arms.

 

I didn't want us to leave things like this, not like this.

 

 

After I was in complete thought about my answer, Rikki speaks in my long silence.

 

''Okay, I get it. You need Jacob right now. I'll leave you.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

She gets up from the couch leaving me already.

 

As she twists the door knob, there was silence for a second before I turned my head up.

 

 

Jacob was at the door frame, Rikki in utter shock. She didn't move.

 

I slowly rise from the couch.

 

Rikki gives me a look before heading out, the door closing behind her.

 

 

Jacob looks from the door to me. I sat up still.

 

No words could explain how I felt in that moment.

 

Joy, pure happiness and also anger.

 

 

I stumbled around on what to say, and still no answer from him. Just eery silence.

 

Finally I give in and dove into his arms. I pressed my lips against his.

 

I hungered for a least a kiss.

 

 

I didn't know how to properly talk to him agian, so I went for the kiss.

 

It didn't take long before he returns with secure arms around me.

 

One of his hands graze over my clothes to feel for my back.

 

 

His other hand reached up to my neck, pulling me in for a sweeter kiss.

 

I could tell he needed the kiss too.

 

 

I just needed to be reassured for a second where I belong in his life.

 

And if words can't help then kisses can.

 

 

He pulls back slowly, looking into my face. I stared back into his eyes.

 

 

''What?'' I say.

 

 

He only smiles, then leans in to kiss me again. Our lips connect. 

 

He was back. I had no questions about where he was, just as long as he's here with me.

 

 

It was quite nice, just us two. Together back home.

  

It was nice, the two of us.

 

Chapter Fifthteen: Recess

   

''Hello?'' I answered.

 

''Are you there?'' Marybella asks.

 

 

''Yes, i'm right in front of it.'' I replied.

 

''Great. Because these invitations mean a lot to me, and if I don't get them i'm screwed.'' she replied.

 

''Relax, it's fine. The best wedding invitations aren't going to make it special. It's the two people making forever happen.'' I reply.

 

 

I hear a slight sigh from Marybella.

 

''Okay, I get. I shouldn't be stressing.'' Marybella replies.

 

 

''That's right, just relax.'' I say.

 

''Bye.'' she says.

 

 

''Bye.'' I click my phone off.

 

 

I walk past the sidewalk nearing the store Marybella sent me to. I couldn't believe in such a little time she and Mark were finally going to get married.

 

 

I'm so happy for them.

 

I look up to the sign, just like how she mentioned.

 

I walk towards the door and open it.

 

 

The atmosphere of the store was little and precious. A very cute customized cards store.

 

I look around at the decorations and different texts on fancy cards. One had sea shells.

 

 

 

This place seemed expensive but it's worth the 70% off sale boarded on the front window.

 

''Need any help?'' asks someone.

 

 

I turn my attention to the voice, a pretty young face. Milky white skin and a bright smile with pink bursting lips.

 

She was the cutest employee i've ever seen.

 

 

''I'm just looking around for a bit.'' I reply.

 

 

She nods her head as I gaze down to her name tag.

 

Mish

 

 

''I'm actually picking up a reserved wedding invitation order.'' I replied abruptly. 

 

''Oh, then right this way.'' she replies.

 

 

I follow her up to the front desk.

 

The background scenary behind her resembled water. And as I approached closer, I saw a majestic paper unicorn pop up from a cup full of pink pens on the desk.

 

 

My eyes look up to Mish, as my smile returns.

 

She turns to a big box, and hands me it.

 

 

''Here ya go.'' she replies.

 

 

''Thanks.'' I said.

 

I picked up the heavy box balancing it in my arms.

 

How may family members does Marybella have?

 

 

 

''I hope your enjoy the cards that were made especially for your weddimg.'' she replies happily.

 

I frown at her for a second in confusion, then I answer.

 

 

''Oh, no. I'm not getting married....it'-, it's for a friend. I'm picking up the order for her, since she's planning the wedding.'' I replied.

 

The smile on the employee's face decends.

 

I slowly start up the conversation back up.

 

 

''This is a lovely shop.'' I replied.

 

 

Even after attempting to start the conversation again, there's no sign of a smile from Mish anymore.

 

 

''So do you plan to get married soon?'' she finally asks.

 

''Well,..yeah. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. We actually just started planning our future together over vacation in Brazil.'' I reply.

 

 

''Brazil huh? It must be beautiful down there.'' she replies happily.

 

''Yeah, it was.'' I replied looking down.

 

 

My eyes gaze up at her for a second before returning a grin, then heading to the door.

 

''Bye.'' she says to me.

 

 

I turn to her, then smile and head out the door.

 

As I started to walking away, I struggled to keep the box up as I continued.

 

 

''Damn, how many guests are planning to come to Bella's wedding?'' i said softly.

 

 -- 

 

I open the door of Bella's house, to see her excited face as I enter.

 

''Are they here?'' she asks walking to me.

 

 

''Yes, safe and sound.'' I replied out of breath.

 

Marybella squeals, putting her fists up to her mouth. I however, was thinking how many steps it took before I fell down with the box.

 

It was heavy to carry.

 

 

''Ah, it's just right. Let me take these.'' she says, taking the box from my hands.

 

 

I sigh in relief. I look up to her as she gracefully takes it to the living room.

 

I lean up from my crouched postition. How is she that strong?

 

 

Jacob passed by into the living room, a huge smile on his. I take a breath before I return a weak smile.

 

''How was delivery?'' he says, embracing me.

 

''Tiring. But fine.'' I reply.

 

 

My muscles relax as I sigh into his shoulder.

 

''Hey! You two over there.'' Marybella yells.

 

 

We let go from our small embrace and go hand in hand to the living room. I spot out of the corner of my eyes that Taylor near the counter.

 

 

She's playing with a small sippy cup. I smile as her face turns to me.

 

She waves, then turns back to Mark who is taking cards out of boxes in the kitchen.

 

''Elle, come here.'' Bella says grabbing my attention.

 

 

I turn to her then kneel down to the box she took from me. She slices a knife into the taped up box.

 

I flinch from the way she was holding the knife.

 

 

I back up as Bella hurries to open the folds of the box.

 

She smiles then takes out a bunch of cards. All deocrated in blue and pink.

 

''They're so beautiful.'' I said.

 

 

The design was pretty it'self. Blue silk ribbons on it and pink feathers.

 

 

I smile as Marybella tosses the rest some of the cards to me. I open one to see the inside.

 

A white ivory look met my eyes and words printed on the card.

 

 

With love from New York City, we'd like you to attend the wedding of Marybella Machistan and Mark Wellington.

And they're daughter Taylor, grateful to finally have two commited parents during this time of season.

 

The wedding will be held outside in Bethlehem, Pennslyvania. On a large acre of land provided by the home of Mrs. Esther Huber.

 

Save The Date: September 27th to celebrate the festive wedding ready to be held.

 

Note* (Reservations for hotel rooms will be provided for the attending guests of the wedding)

 

After Party & Reception: In white tents on the property belonging to Mrs. Esther Huber, Food and Drinks will be served along with cake for each individual attending.

 

Note* Kids are permitted to be with parents at all times, Bride to be, will be the only person wearing white. (All guests may dress elegantly for the event, so long as bride is wed in white only.)

 

 

Best of luck and wishes to the future bride and groom.

 

 

Yours Truly, 

 

Marybella Machistan & Mark Wellington

 

And Taylor  

 

  

 

I turn to Marybella with a smile, this was utterly cute and beautiful. She must have put alot of thought into making the cards all right.

 

 

''Wow Bella, you really outdone yourself here.'' I replied.

 

 

''I know, everything is going to be perfect. After Rikki comes back from the Hamptons with her boyfriend, we'll tell her the news. Then we'll get our dresses done...'' she replies.

 

 

Marybella's voice fades I get up. Hearing all the wedding talk made me tired already.

 

It was unfair.

 

 

I was suppose to be the next one to possibly get married. It kind of made me feel weird and jealous perhaps.

 

I mean, of course Rikki and Bella got engaged before I did. But that doesn't mean i'm obligated to feel bad about it myself.

 

 

I have a great life and I have Jacob.

 

But it doesn't fit in with the others.

 

Just like before, when I came back home for the first time in a year.

 

 

I turn back from my thoughts to look at Jacob. He smiles as he waves back and forth Taylor's cup.

 

I smile for a bit but then i'm brought back to my thoughts.

 

 

Part of me wantsedto know if he's still interested in getting married soon.

 

All my friends have been.

 

Except for Nicki, but that's different.

 

 

I ignore my thoughts for a second as I continued to watch everyone talk.

 

I take 2 steps up nearing the front door.

  

 

''Hey, Elle. Where are you going?'' Marybella asks.

 

 

Jacob in the living room views me from the side. I smile back.

 

''I'm just making a quick visit to someone. Don't worry i'll be back soon.'' I said.

 

 

They all give me assuring looks as I exit Bella's house.

 

I take a breath once i'm outside.

 

The warm weather waves over my skin as I walk over to my car.

 

 

No one knew where I was going.

 

I had to keep this a secret for now.

 

 

It's been a while. I just hope they're not mad at me when I make an appearance.

 

-- 

 

I turn off the engine as I look up into the sky out of my window.

 

I missed this neighborhood.

 

 

And there it was, home sweet home.

 

 

I cherished this place so much. It's good to be back home.

 

I adjusted my black dress before walking ahead.

 

I pass by the new planted lilac flowers outside. I open the door to the building. 

 

 

The same old smell, runs up my nose as I look into the half dead hallway. 

 

 

Loud talking.

 

Possibly from a neighbor that has the tv volume up. I ignore the sound as I peer into Mrs. Wilson's apartment.

 

It was still old and empty, and boarded up. No one in plain sight.

 

 

I gather myself from my thoughts as I head to the elevator.

 

I pressed the button to go up.

 

 

I couldn't believe I was back home, it made me feel all nervous. Like the memories were coming back.

 

All those times and moments, so special. It came flooding back into my brain.

 

 

I stare down at the elevator floor as it dings and opens.

 

I look into the empty 5th floor and walk out silently.

 

 

No one has lived up here in years. Not one single person has since the last time I remembered.

 

I near the door again, just like before. When I left home.

 

 

Apartment #37.

 

 

This was it, my time to make up for the lost year I spent withering away.

 

I take a breath in as I stood in front of the door motionless.

 

This was truly nerve wrecking.

 

 

 

I finally make up my mind and knock on the door.

 

2 soft knocks leave my hand as silence fills the hallway. Then I do it again, this time more rough.

 

 

I hear foosteps nearing the door, I take a step back.

 

I quickly bounce my hair around through my fingers as the nervous feeling in my stomach returns.

 

 

Several locks made noises as the door unlocks. It creaks open as eyes peak out of it.

 

 

The door is swung wide after a second. Mom was in full view, she wore a thick knit sweater that was white.

 

Her hair falls over her shoulders. Her lips pursed together.

 

 

Mom's eyes dart into mine. I stare blankly at her before my gaze turns to dad. He's reading the newspaper on a new couch inside the apartment.

 

 

He gets up and noticed the door was open. He walks over slowly but fast with attention. None of us spoke, only surprised looks.

 

 

''Mom...'' I said softly, barely audible.

 

 

She takes a small breath.

 

''Elle.'' she finally says.

 

 

I felt a tear fall down from my face. I didn't think taht I would cry. 

 

 

''Oh, honey.'' Dad finally says.

 

 

He pulls me into an embrace as I stay there motionless a bit.

 

It was truly grateful to seem them again.

 

 

It took me a while before I finally fled my arms around him. Mom comes darting from behind him. 

 

Her warms arms surround me and her hot breath nears my face.

 

I let out a sob I held.

 

 

Then after a breif second, we all cut from the embrace as I wipe my tears.

 

 

''Honey, how are you?'' Mom asks.

 

''Fine, i'm fine.'' I said, happily wiping the rest of my tears.

 

 

''Come in. I don't want this family reunion to be continued outside our door.'' mom suggests.

 

Dad chuckles as he wonders back in to sit on the couch, mom follows behind me.

 

 

My eyes search the apartment. There were mostly a few new things.

 

My home wasn't the same it was before.

 

I clutched onto my handbag.

 

 

''So how are you? Now that you're back in New York, we can talk and visit more.'' Mom says.

 

''Everything's fine. I'm just enjoying summer here in Manhattan.'' I replied.

 

 

''That reminds me, how's Jacob? It's been a while since we've heard from you. How is my son in law?'' Dad says.

 

''We're not married yet, dad. But Jacob's fine.'' I said as my smile disappears.

 

 

Silence takes over the moment. I didn't mean for that answer to make the tension in the air go silent.

 

I bit my bottom lip, hoping for mom or dad to say something again.

 

 

''I think there's something wrong with our daughter.'' Mom replied, looking over to dad.

 

''There's nothing wrong, really me and Jacob are fine.'' I say.

 

 

''Elle, I know that look. Something's upsetting you. Tell me.'' Mom says, stern.

 

''Really, there's nothing wrong, everything's.....peachy.'' I tried to exclaim.

 

 

I sigh as I look into mom's eyes, she had the look. And I mean the look every mom has.

 

When she knows there's something wrong.

 

''Tell me.'' she replies.

 

 

I finally break my stance near the door and sit down across from her. 

 

 

''Now just like always, tell me what's wrong and what I can do to help.'' she says breaking the silence.

 

''I feel bad and upset for not accomplishing the things that I wanted for a long time.'' I replied with worry in my voice.

 

 

It seemed almost rehearsed in my head. But the last part sounded like it was my doing.

 

It was so hard to face mom and to say that.

 

 

''I think you're feeling a little insecure about certain things. Even from other people you've grown with.'' she finally replies.

 

''No, I don't. I love my friends. I could never be jealous of them.'' I shot back.

 

 

''Everyone can feel jealous and insecure sometimes. We all grow insecure about something we don't have because someone, or a friend has it. Now tell me who.'' Mom says.

 

''No.'' I whispered, looking down to the white carpet.

 

 

I rested my head onto my right hand as my elbow balanced on my leg.

 

''Eleven,...tell me.'' she replied stern.

 

 ''You used to call me Eleven.'' I hissed at her through my lips.

 

 

When I finally looked up, mom was staring at me patiently.

 

 

She raises her eybrows as I let out a groan, I had to tell her.

 

There's no use in keeping it bottled up.

 

''It's all of my friends. Their lives are going fine while mine is going in a sprial.'' I replied.

 

 

''Oh, Elle. When are you going to learn to let it go.'' Mom said.

 

She was upset with me.

 

''What do you mean?'' I say. looking up to her

 

 

''You have to stop putting other people's success in front of yours. You can't pull down your friends because of something that you're insecure about.'' mom says.

 

''I have never done that, why would you say that?'' I shot back.

 

 

''Really? What happened before summer began this year?'' Mom says.

 

''I went on vacation with FARELLE and my friends, and things kind of got crazy down there.'' I replied.

 

 

I kind of felt guilty for telling my mom and dad.

 

 

''Was there conflict or a fight between you and your friends?'' Mom asked.

 

''Kind of. But there was only a fight with Jacob, I swear.'' I replied.

 

 

Mom shakes her head as I look back down to the ground. I sat up straight.

 

''Elle, you have got to stop putting people's success over yours. You've got to stop making people feel bad for something that happened a long time ago.'' she implies.

 

''I know, but...'' I said.

 

 

''I'm saying you should forget what happened before and focus on the present and future.'' Mom says.

 

I sighed as I rested my face back into my right palm.

 

It seemed harder than what she was saying.

 

 

''Look, Elle. I know that you've been through a lot and me too. But you can't blame people or your close friends to make you feel better. You have to heal within. Let go.'' mom says.

 

 

What mom was saying was what a therapist would say to me. I could guess mom took time while she was living up here to gain something postive.

 

She always seemed to do that when she felt tensed or stressed.

 

 

''That's great talk mom.'' I replied not looking at her.

 

I felt a bit bitter about her words, but they seemed to make sense.

 

I needed to stop feeling insecure about my life so much.

 

 

''Shall we drink some tea?'' Dad asks.

 

Even I couldn't resist to say no.

 

I lifted my head up from my right hand again.

 

 

''Yes, black tea. For me.'' I replied smiling back.

 

''Great, we can spend some family time together while you're still here.'' Mom says.

 

 

She kneels up and heads to the kitchen to start on the tea pot.

 

My eyes follow her as she prepared everything.

 

''Elle.'' says dad.

 

 

I turn to him from the kitchen.

 

I get up from my spot and sit next to him on the couch.

 

 

''From your words earlier I suspected something was bothering you.'' he said.

 

''Yeah, but I think it's all behind me now.'' I reply.

 

''And i'm glad, but I what I have to say is...don't lose faith in Jacob.'' he says.

 

 

It stunned me a bit on why he said it.

 

''And how would you know?'' I said.

 

''I come from India, where the soul and aura lives. I could see from your aura, that you are not treating your body right. Or Jacob.'' he says.

 

''Dad, how can you tell?'' I replied.

 

I didn't believe him for a second, it didn't seem right from this point.

 

 

''Just, don't lost faith in that boy. He's a good one.'' he says.

 

 

My eyes shift to the side as I slowly begin to think again, maybe dad was right.

 

Maybe I shouldn't give up on Jacob just yet because of my past.

 

 

The whistle from the tea pot rings in the air as mom turns to us with a smile.

 

''Tea is ready.'' she says.

 

 

 I turn to her as my smile returns to my face.

 

Seeing the way mom looked in that moment brought back memories with my step dad. How we'd all drink together and talk about sweet nothings.

 

 

How dad's smile would slip up to show his sturdy mustache and grey-brown hair.

 

How always adored that mustard green sweater I bought him over winter break when it was my first time away in college.

 

 

I missed dad, even though he was my step dad.

 

But to see mom and Bali happy, was something else. It was my little family, put back together again.

 

 

''Elle, are you gonna join us or stare into space?'' Mom says.

 

''I'm coming.'' I replied.

 

 

I sit down in one of the 3 seats around the new table. All smiles were spread as we all sat down.

 

 

Dad flinches from drinking his tea at first, then he took another sip.

 

''Oh my god, Bali how could you drink that strong tea?'' Mom says, concerned.

 

 

''Easy, I grew up eating and drinking strong stuff. I got used to it. But the tea ginger here, it's not like the one back home.'' he replied.

 

 

''Well i'm glad it's different, better to have you try something new.'' she shot back.

 

I sat there and smiled as I drank my tea. And the warmth of the room began to sprout around us.

 

 

It felt right being home again, and there's going to be plenty of more memories now that Bali is here.

 

I breathed in and breathed out silently before buzzing in on the arguement mom and dad had started.

 

 

Chapter Sixteen: Second Nature

  

''Marybellla, everything's going to be fine.'' I say.

 

She paced around the sitting area of the bridal shop.

 

 

''It's okay mate, we'll get our dresses re-altered.'' Rikki says, trying to fix her dress.

 

 

Bella had picked out a beautiful dark sapphire dress for us to wear. And she was upset when we all found out our dresses weren't properly fitting.

 

Now's it's a disaster.

 

 

''Not it's not, the dresses need to be altered again and I don't have that kind of money to fix it.'' Bella insists.

 

''Excuse me, Ms. Machistan? How will you provide for the alter of the bridesmaids dresses?'' says the lady approaching the us.

 

 

''I'll figure out something.'' Bella replied, turning back to us.

 

 

The lady left us, as Rikki and I stand on 2 separate small catwalks.

 

Marybella sat down as we both looked to her.

 

 

I get down from my spot on the catwalk and I stood where she sat.

 

''Don't worry about the dresses right now, besides the wedding isn't until september.'' I said.

 

 

''You're right, I shouldn't be worried. But what if by then the dresses don't fit you guys and we'll have to shop last minute for the new dresses.'' Marybella started again.

 

''Relax, June isn't even over yet. We have plenty of time to decide which dresses and what color would be better.'' Rikki says back.

 

 

''Look, why don't we get something to eat and we'll sleep on it.'' Rikki suggested.

 

''Great idea, we'll get out of these dresses and go to eat. Clear our minds and focus on something else.'' I replied.

 

''Alright.'' Bella finally said.

 

 

''Okay, i'll get changed.''

 

I walked back to the changing room

 

''Ms. Machistan? We have a tailor who will pin and re-alter your bridesmaids dresses for you.'' said the lady from earlier.

 

I turn my head looking in her direction.

 

 

''Oh, that's great. That's perfect.'' Bella said getting up with excitement.

 

''Well, would you look at that. Fate.'' I say.

 

 

Great timing.

 

 

''Okay, we'll have our dress fitter come and measure the girls before you all leave. Rita!!''

 

 

A young woman comes into the frame as she carries supplies I didn't recognize.

 

A big smile planted on her face.

 

''Oh, I forgot to mention. There's no charge or payment until the dresses are completely done just so you know Ms. Machistan.'' Rita says.

 

Her voice was so sweet, you could mistake her for an angel.

 

 

''Thank you some much, you don't know how relieved this makes me feel right now.'' Bella replied.

 

''Great, i'll get started with you and then the next girl.'' Rita says pointing to me.

 

 

''Me, first?'' I questioned.

 

''Yes, your dresses needs to be put in for measurements first. Then the alter will be perfect, since you have such a nice fitted body shape.'' Rita says.

 

 

''Okay,...i'll just stand here while you pin me down.'' I replied, getting up to the catwalk from earlier.

 

Rita smiles as she approaches me in the sapphire dress.

 

 

''Now, i'll ask everyone to leave me the room. I work better in silence when no one is around.'' Rita says.

 

 

Everyone takes the sign and empties out. So i'm left with Rita on the small parted catwalk.

 

She sits down on her provided stool as her hands go straight t my dress with pins.

 

 

''So have you ever been in a wedding before?'' Rita asks.

 

''Yes. A friend's wedding, back in Paris.'' I replied.

 

''Ooohh, Paris. Was the ceremony beautiful?'' she replied

 

''Yes, the most beautiful outside scenery you've ever seen.'' I said.

 

 

''Hmm,...okay, it's seems like i'll have to take in your dress for a better alter. The fabric isn't cooperating with your size.'' Rita says.

 

''What do you mean, is the dress too small or too big?'' I said.

 

 

I rushed my hands to my sides and felt the fabric as Rita continued to pin making me back up in my stance.

 

I felt the fabric tighten as I tried to stay still.

 

 

''It seems, as if you won't be able to fit into your dress unless I try to resize the hem and sew inside the lining for a more fit look.'' she says.

 

 

''Are you saying I have a little flab?'' I asked feeling guilty.

 

''No, noooo. You're fine, all dresses have a different look on people. Based on their size and shape.'' she reassures me.

 

''Is there something wrong with my dress size?'' I asked, feeling concerned.

 

I turned to her as my hand continued to touch where the dress folded up.

 

 

There was a long awkward silence before she got up. She sighed as she looked at me in the mirror.

 

''Well, it looks like your measurements aren't as right as I thought.'' she finally said.

 

 

''They're not correct? Well I can give my size information if you want-'' I started.

 

''No, it's fine. I have your mesasurements all right....it's just you.'' she quickly said.

 

 

I turn to her from the dress and the mirror ahead of me.

 

''What about me?'' I said.

 

 

''Judging by the time of measurements placed in weeks in advance, you won't be able to fit into your dress. And the alter is going to be put in for a long time.'' Rita says.

 

''So, I won't be able to fit into my dress? That'll make Bella upset.'' I replied.

 

''Yeah, it is something that's going to cost Bella more than what I offered once she finds out.'' Rita says.

 

 

''I know it'll make her stressed to know we'll have to find new bridesmaids dresses.'' I said sighing.

 

''On no, you won't have to. If I get your measurements weeks before the wedding.'' Rita says, getting up from her stool.

 

She walks around from where I stood examining myself again.

 

Rita had been circling me while I stood still and watched her take out the pins from the dress.

 

 

''Well, why? My measurements will be the same by then, won't it?'' I replied.

 

''Not quite, for someone who's pregnant.'' Rita says.

 

 

Her eyes search elsewhere as my face grew with shock.

 

Maybe it was her way of saying I was putting on weight, but it didn't seem nice to just blurt it out.

 

 

''What are you saying?'' I shot back.

 

''I saw your measurements, you and your friends took 3 measurements in advance for an unexpected change in weight. I saw 3 different numbers each time on your measurements, sizes for someone don't change that quickly unless...'' Rita says.

 

''I'm pregnant?'' I silently say.

 

''Likely, your back is more arched. And your tummy is more rounder than the usual flat stomach for your original first measurements.'' she suggested.

 

 

I scoff as I look back to myself into the mirror. I turned to my right side.

 

I was beginning to see why she was dropping the hints why I needed the late alter change.

 

 

Could I be pregnant? There's no way for sure.

 

''This can't be right, i'm not pregnant.'' I shot back.

 

 

I brushed off the feeling, there's no way i'm pregnant, it's not possible

 

 

''Really? Then do have constant food cravings?'' Rita says.

 

''No,...'' I started.

 

 

I struggled to hide the little muffin top I could see beginning to form. Maybe she was right for a second there.

 

I sighed as my hands finally left my stomach.

 

 

''Okay, yeah....I do have food cravings.'' I replied.

 

''And the occainsional boobs hurting?'' Rita says.

 

''Yes.'' I confessed tiredly.

 

 

''I knew it, and you've noticed the mood swings?'' she says, crossing her arms.

 

''Well Jacob does, but I don't realize it because he thinks i'm crazy.'' I replied.

 

 

I tried to regain my confidence as I looked myself up and down in the mirror again.

 

Rita was right.

 

''Don't bother trying to think otherwise, your measurements need a new alter...well, for your incoming ass.'' she says.

 

I gasped as she and I turned to look at it. I never really worried much about about my butt.

 

But I could see what she was talking about.

 

 

''See, it's already in works of forming.'' she says, pointing.

 

''Stop touching me.'' I shout back.

 

 

''So what do you want me to tell Bella, should we get it altered weeks before the wedding now? Or I just guess how many months you'll by then and alter the dress while you send me new measurements?'' Rita says rubbing my stomach.

 

I smack her arm away. I was still in shock of the news being brought onto me.

 

I still couldn't put it to my mind that I was potentially pregnant.

 

 

 

Rita moves her head into my view as I slip out of my trance.

 

''Still having thoughts?'' she said.

 

''I don't know, it still doesn't make sense. How I could be pregnant?'' I replied looking down.

 

''Judging by your measurements and your body shape, i'd say.....you're about 6 weeks. Nothing noticeable yet.'' Rita says looking at me.

 

''Doesn't make it any better.'' I hissed through my teeth.

 

 

 

''So what do you want me to do?'' she says

 

I sighed as I thought for a second.

 

 

''Fine, i'll figure out some way to make Bella believe that my dress will be ready by then. But for now, i'll send you in my measurements up until the wedding.'' I finally said.

 

''Great, this is gonna be so much fun, just the two of us.'' Rita says.

 

Her happy eyes couldn't make me feel angry. She was too perfect in this situation.

 

 

 

''I'll be there during your days of pregnancy.'' Rita says happily.

 

''How would you know all these facts?'' I said, stepping down from the catwalk.

 

''I was pregnant before. There's plenty of things I can tell you about pregnancy.'' she says.

 

''I just hope nobody notices yet, i'm starting to feel insecure about my size.'' I said.

 

 

''Yeah that's normal. But it's gonna be hard to compromise with, while your insecure...and with 3 times the amount of emotions.'' she says.

 

''Really?'' i reply.

 

''When I was pregnant, my whole body was sensitve. On a bus, I would-'' Rita says.

 

 

''I think i'm going be sick.'' I reply.

 

''Don't worry, it's good fact to know.'' she says.

 

 

''No I think i'm actually going to be sick.'' I replied.

 

''Oh.'' she says.

 

 

I cover my mouth and head into the restroom. It was a moment that I realized, this wasn't just a joke or something that gave me a wake up call.

 

I was actually pregnant, for real.

 

 

 

''Honey, you okay?'' Rita asks.

 

''I'm good.'' I reply with my head in the toliet.

 

 

I sit up as fast as I can and flush the toliet. I walk over to the mirror and look at myself.

 

My hands lean on the sink counter.

 

 

How come I didn't realize this before, all those moments that felt abnormal.

 

The little fights with Rikki and Bella, and those times I wanted to attack Jacob with a thousand kisses.

 

 

I didn't realize that I was pregnant, and now it's much more complicated than I thought.

 

''I'm coming in.'' Rita says.

 

''Relax, it's fine. I'm coming.'' I replied.

 

 

I slowly pace over and open the door. I saw Rita's face give into a smile as she stood in front of me.

 

''So how are you going to tell Jacob?'' she says.

 

--

 

It made no sense, but it also made perfect sense.

 

 

I wasn't thinking back in Brazil and it lead to this.

 

And to have someone point it out, it was ridiculous.

 

 

I always thought it would be either Rikki or Bella that would figure out i'm pregnant before anyone else.

 

And while the both of them talked over me, my mind was still focused on the fact that i'm pregnant.

 

 

''Elle,'' says Rikki's voice.

 

She cuts into my thoughts as I look up to her from the sidewalk.

 

I realized we were still outside in the blazing hot sun.

 

 

''Yeah?'' I reply.

 

''We were just talking about having the party you planned to have before Brazil. Remember? So when do you want to have it?'' Rikki said.

 

 

''Um, I don't know. How long has it been since we've delayed it?'' I said.

 

I tried to bring back my mind from the pregnant thoughts into the conversation.

 

But nothing seemed to work as I focused on Rikki.

 

 

''We've been delaying it since the last 3 weeks of May, it's time we have it. I vote tonight.'' Rikki replies.

 

''Yeah me too, it'll help keep my mind off of the dresses for now.'' Marybella budded in.

 

 

''That's great, so my place eight o'clock?'' I said.

 

''Or maybe we can have it at my place. Plus we've never thrown parties or visted my house in a long time.'' Rikki implies.

 

''That's great, i'll find someone to babysit Taylor.'' Marybella adds in.

 

 

''That's great you guys.'' I finally said.

 

''Elle, say something else. You've been quiet since we left the bridal shop.'' Rikki says.

 

Bella pokes her elbow into me.

 

''I'm fine, really.'' I replied rubbing my neck.

 

 

''Is there something wrong?'' Marybella implies.

 

''No, really. I'm okay, just out of place.'' I replied, forcing a smile.

 

 

Even in that moment to say something, I didn't want to.

 

Breaking the news now would start a riot.

 

 

Everyone will be confused but happy for me.

 

My only thought in this process is how i'm going to tell Jacob.

 

 

And what will his reaction be?

 

 

''Earth to Elle?'' Rikki says snapping her fingers.

 

''Huh?'' I replied.

 

''You're really out of it today huh?'' Marybella asks.

 

''Let's just go to panera.'' Rikki said walking in front.

 

 

We cross the street to the nearest panera restaraunt.

 

  

As we sat down at our table, my mind was wondering if I could keep thinking they'll suspect something.

 

And tonight we're finally celebrating my return.

 

 

And for new beginnings.

 

 

''So what are you gonna order?'' Bella asks looking at the menu.

 

''I don't know yet.'' I answered.

 

 

''I thinking about the clam chowder. I heard it's delicious.'' Rikki adds in.

 

I sit there quiet for a moment as I scan my menu.

 

 

Lots of choices to choose from. And I was feeling hungry.

 

 

''Good evening, are you ready to order?'' says a friendly waitress.

 

''Yes, i'll have the artichoke spinach soufflé.'' Bella said first.

 

''And i'll have the clam chowder soup with the bread bowl and...potato salad.'' Rikki says next.

 

 

''And what will you be having Miss?'' said the waitress to me.

 

 

I look up as I saw everyone's menu were taken. I look down to my menu and take what my eyes set on.

 

I close the menu then look up with a smile to the waitress.

 

 

''I'll take the ravioli with marinara sauce, then the choice of side salad with garlic breadsticks. Along with the boneless chicken bits and a surpreme quesadilla.'' I replied.

 

 

The waitress gave a smile as she disappeared to the back with the menus. I looked back to the table as I saw the small concern in Rikki and Bella's face.

 

I could tell they thought I would feast on so much just for lunch.

 

 

Truth is, i'm really hungry. And I think I know why.

 

 

''With that much food you can feed two people.'' Rikki implies.

 

A little laughter in leaves Bella's voice.

 

''Why say that?'' I joked.

 

 

I placed a napkin to my lap as I tried to think otherwise.

 

''Because, no one orders that much food unless you're hungry.'' Marybella says.

 

''Well, I am.'' I replied seeming calm.

 

 

''Okay, something is going on.'' Rikki says cutting in.

 

''Yeah, you've been acting weird since we've been at the bridal shop. Did something happen?'' Marybella asked.

 

''No, i'm totally fine. I'm just hungry.'' I tried to exclaim.

 

 

''But I don't think you are, I think something's up.'' Rikki says turning to Marybella.

 

''Have you been craving lately?'' Rikki asks.

 

 

I tried to look them in the eyes, but my stunned face showed it all. They might have figured it out.

 

Now I can just confess.

 

 

''Yes, why?'' I asked suspcious.

 

''Maybe it's PMS.'' Rikki says turning to Bella again.

 

 

I sighed silently. I was afriad she would say it out loud. Everyone in this restaraunt would know.

 

And besides, I still haven't figured out a way to say it.

 

 

''Yes, how did you know.'' I played along.

 

''Well you were in a mood before we came here. You said you were fine but I thought maybe something was up and bothering you.'' Rikki said.

 

 

''You've figured me out, it's cramps.'' I replied.

 

''Well why didn't you tell me. I have midol if you need it.'' Rikki suggests.

 

''No it's fine, it stopped when we got here.'' iIreplied taking a sip from my cup of water.

 

 

''Okay. But are you still craving?'' Marybella asked concerned.

 

''For now, but i'll be fine later. I'll probably pick up a milky way on the way home.'' I replied.

 

 

Relief rushed over my head as I tried to hide the fact that it was not a period that I was experiencing.

 

Eventually they'll figure it out. And the thought about it made me realized that I had missed a period.

 

I guess that solves the pregnancy.

 

--

  

''So the party will be at my house, be there by 8. And wear your finest outfits.'' Rikki exclaimed.

 

She rushed to her car as we all scattered from the parking lot.

 

 

I get into my car without another thought. Once I closed the door, I sighed as my hands reach for the steering wheel.

 

 

I drive onto the highway as I watch cars pass by.

 

My brain wonders back on what happened in the bridal shop with Rita, and when she told me that I was pregnant.

 

I was convinced for sure that she was right.

 

 

I mean for the next few months i'll be sending her my measurements without Marybella knowing.

 

 

Even after eating all that food from panera, I felt guilty for not telling my friends.

 

Besides, I didn't know for sure. So it's worth questioning it.

 

I just can't assume that i'm pregnant.

 

 

Maybe Rita misunderstood.

 

 

Maybe i'm just gaining weight and it comes off as being pregnant.

 

But that can't explain me throwing up afterwards.

 

And the morning sickness i've been trying to hide.

 

 

Right now he just suspects i'm sick. 

 

Maybe in fact I was pregnant.

 

 

My eyes linger to a nearby drug store. I sighed one more time again.

 

''Guess it's time.'' I said silently.

 

 

I pull over and take a breath as I continue to slow down.

 

It scared me how much of my future I have to change and alter because something came up.

 

 

The smell of the store filled my lungs as I tried to remain calm.

 

It's just a test.

 

I scan the aisles as my fingers finally gently land on a milky way bar. I grab it.

 

 

I head to the aisle where the pregnancy tests were.

 

I had to admit, it was abnormal to see myself going down this aisle so early in my life.

 

 

I slowly stop as I choose the accurate one i've seen out of all the basic ones.

 

 

A wave of nerves and anxiety pass through me as I withdraw the box from the stand.

 

It felt like heaven to take it from it's space.

 

 

For some reason it felt right to do it.

 

 

I slowly head over to the cracker aisle as I search for some. Even if i'm not sure, I should have something else to calm my anxious nerves.

 

Plus I did the same thing when Sara thought she was pregnant, I remember it was such an adventure.

 

Then it turned out she wasn't.

 

 

And now it's my turn, and this time it may be for real.

 

I turn into the soda aisle and pick up a 2 liter.

 

 

I walk to the self checkout lane and buy all of my items.

 

  

As I exit out of the store, it felt weird and unexplained about what I just bought.

 

I get into the car and drive back home silently.

 

--

 

I fiddle around as I open the the package of the pregnancy test.

 

And as directed, I do what the directions say on the box.

 

 

I stare at the walls as I wait for myself to just to do it. Al I had to do was sit and pee on the stick.

 

But it felt gruesome to tell myself to do that.

 

 

I closed my eyes, then suddenly in that fear i'm relaxed. I let out a sigh as i'm calm.

 

Then there's a knock on the door. It was probably Jacob.

 

 

I place the test back on the box as I try to hide it near the trash can by the toliet.

 

I quickly flush the toliet then wash my hands.

 

 

I dart for the door to Jacob's attention.

 

 

''You're early, I said give me time.'' I said to him.

 

''But if we don't leave now, we won't get there on time.'' he insists.

 

 

I looked to the side, peering into our dark bedroom as I thought.

 

''Fine.'' I said, finally looking up at him.

 

''Okay, come down when you're ready.'' he says, leaving the bedroom.

 

 

I turn back into the bathroom, then I thought about how he'd bust into the bathroom again.

 

It'd be better to distract him with something.

 

 

I open the bathroom door again and I peer into our dark bedroom.

 

''Hey do you want a beer?'' I shout after him.

 

''Yeah.'' he reponds.

 

 

I stand patiently near the bathroom door as I tried to think of someting else while Jacob is down.

 

''Do you want one?'' he asks.

 

 

I turn back to the toliet, then to Jacob's answer.

 

What do I say? I might be pregnant.

 

I can't drink alcohol.

 

 

''Just give me 4 to-...to 5 minutes.'' I yelled back to him.

 

''Sure.'' he shot back, from downstairs.

 

''Okay.'' I whispered to myself

 

 

I kneel down to find the pregnancy test, it was just in plain sight and now it's gone.

 

In my agressive response, I snapped what seemed to be the plastic of the test.

 

 

I looked down shocked as I pull it from it's place behind the trash can. It must have fell when I went to answer Jacob at the door.

 

 

I look at it. The snapped piece from the middle, was gone.

 

It was either suppose to be a negative sign or a positive sign.

 

 

And now I don't know.

 

''You idoit.'' I yell to myself.

 

 

I sighed as I threw it away and covered the box too with tissues into the trash can.

 

Maybe when I get home i'll take out the trash before Jacob notices.

 

 

Then the massive amounts of toliet paper won't seem so suspcious.

 

 

 

I rang the doorbell as me and Jacob stood in silence in front of Rikki's house.

 

''You look amazing tonight, that dress is...something else.'' he says filling the silence.

 

''Thanks.'' I reply looking down at it.

 

 

I had preferably picked the pink dress to cover up the mini bump I saw.

 

It was the only dress in my wardrobe that seemed to cover up my stomach.

 

 

''Except you left the price tag on.'' he finally says.

 

''What?'' I reply, touching the dress.

 

 

''Here, let me.'' he says.

 

He pulls my hair aside as I turn my back to him. It was very quiet in that moment.

 

All Jacob was doing was removing the tag from my dress.

 

 

And yet it felt sensual.

 

His hands brush against my back as I flinch to the cool touch.

 

The tag snaps as I turn back to face him.

 

 

''You're welcome.'' he says, throwing the tag away.

 

''I haven't worn it in a while. That's why the tag was on.'' I said.

 

''Really, you didn't buy a new dress for our party tonight?'' he asks with a smirk.

 

 

''Shut up. You're not that special.'' I shot back.

 

''Oh really?'' he says.

 

 

His hands gently push the front door open as I stare at him for a second.

 

Then I lean in to see the black and white designed house.

 

 

I walk in as Jacob followed. Balloons falls down from the ceiling as we enter.

 

 

''Welcome!!'' Rikki yells.

 

She was dressed elegantly in black as she made her entrance.

 

She brushes past a few balloons eventually making her way to us.

 

 

She smiles again as she throws her hands up in the air.

 

''Hi.'' she finally says.

 

 

''Hey.'' I reply.

 

''Come in, have a drink and talk. Everyone else is inside.'' she says.

 

 

We pace behind her as we enter into the strobe lights in living room.

 

Fom my view it looked like a dance club.

 

 

But it was sure enough, Rikki's house.

 

It had changed so much since Jason was last here. He was always away at work so Rikki was left to decorate the house.

 

 

Before it used to be plain and white.

 

Now it's bold and daring with greys and blacks.

 

Rikki went all out.

 

 

Caters approach me with drinks as Jacob takes one and I do too.

 

But just seconds into taking the first sip of my drink, I spit it back into the glass.

 

 

Who knows for sure if i'm pregnant. I can't drink champagne now.

 

I hurry to empty the drink into a potted plant near me.

 

 

I head to the center where everyone socialized.

 

Marybella's bright face lights up as I enter to greet everyone.

 

 

''Hey, you're wearing pink.'' she says excited.

 

''Yeah.'' I replied, as our arms cling to each other.

 

''Excuse me everyone.'' Rikki says.

 

 

She takes a fork and clinks it to her glass. Everyone's attention is now on her.

 

It was a very small party of just the gang and close co-workers.

 

Chris was here too.

 

 

But it felt like a huge dance floor of people in Rikki's house.

 

 

''Welcome to the party, as you may have heard. I decided to host since I renovated my house.'' she says aloud.

 

We all clap and look around and some looked at the changed scenery.

 

 

''Anyways, this party is in honor of our very own Elle. For so long, she thought she'd never get back to where she is now. But things have changed. We went to competition and we're reunited. And most importantly...we have our Elle back.'' Rikki says.

 

All claps go around but w'ere interuppted again.

 

''I just want to say that, Elle. You've been there for me in one of my toughest times, you've helped me and made things so much better. No matter how many times we bicker or fight, you will always be my best friend.'' she says, a little shaky.

 

 

''Even after my first impression on you, pretty much dominated your personality. You somehow bring me back to earth. And i'll never regret that. To our friend, and girlfriend.'' Rikki winks to Jacob.

 

 

A smile appears on my face.

 

''Thank you Elle, for everything.'' she finally says.

 

 

She raises her drink as everyone takes a sip from their champagne. A waiter comes around as i'm handed another glass of champagne.

 

I raise it up to Rikki as she walks over to us. I quickly place the champagne in Jacob's hand as I walk over to embrace her.

 

 

Rikki was truly something.

 

In this moment, I didn't know if I should tell everyone.

 

 

I didn't know if it's right to do it. I wanted everyone to be happy and to know i'm fine. 

 

But it's also my choice.

 

 

''I love you, so much Elle.'' she says into my ears.

 

 

I wish I could tell Rikki, it would make things much more better

 

 

We pull from a long embrace.

 

Just then, the door bell rings. I turn to see who it might be.

 

 

''I'll be right back, it's your first surprise.'' she says.

 

''Surprise?'' I say to her.

 

 

She disappears into the hall leading to the front door. I stand on the fur carpet waiting.

 

Then arms snake around my waist. I'm drawn to see Jacob's face rest on my right shoulder.

 

 

''When was the last time I said thank you?'' he says to me.

 

''You didn't and I don't know, you can tell me right now.'' I respond, turning to face him.

 

''Thank you, for everything. And for being the best girlfriend I could ask for.'' he says.

 

 

His hand reaches down to mine, and he kisses it.

 

''Elle, I have your surprise.'' Rikki says, coming towards us.

 

 

The familiar faces I knew came into the living room, mom and dad were here.

 

And to my surprise, Nicki was here too.

 

It felt like a birthday to me.

 

 

Everyone I know and love is here. 

 

 

''Mom..'' I silently said.

 

 

She opens her arms for a hug as big smiles came across our faces. I couldn't believe in this moment that I could see my, so proud of me.

 

It wasn't that long when I last saw my parents, but was still a surprise.

 

 

''And dad.'' I said embracing him.

 

''Hello my daughter,'' he says into my ear.

 

 

I pull back with a huge grin on my face. It was nice to have my dad here to celebrate my good success on this year.

 

And after months of feeling down, it finally felt like my life was back to normal.

 

  

It makes me happy to know I did all of this and my life is possible with my friends and family.

 

My eyes dart from my parents straight to Nicki.

 

 

''Heyy!!'' she says.

 

I hug her. It was nice to see her.

 

I just wonder how Rikki found her.

 

 

''Congratulations on the competition and for being here while i'm in New York. Plus, I have some news.'' she says.

 

''What?!'' I asked.

 

''But first...champagne!'' Rikki says to everyone.

 

 

Rikki is the first to jump in and give one to Nicki.

 

She smiles as everyone else follows Rikki to get another glass of champagne.

 

 

''So what was that news you wanted to tell me?'' I turn back to her.

 

''Oh yeah, so yesterday i-'' she starts.

 

''Elle.'' Bella says.

 

 

''Yeah?'' I said, turning around to her.

 

''I need to talk to you.'' she said.

 

''Um..'' I reply, turning back to Nicki.

 

 

''It's okay, i'll tell you later.'' Nicki says

 

 

She dances along to the beat of music, as she's handed another glass of champagne.

 

I hesitate back to Marybella as she pulls on my arm.

 

 

Bella hurries me into the kitchen and stops the swing door behind me.

 

I turn around to her concern.

 

 

My back leans on the island of the kitchen.

 

''So what did you want to talk about?'' I asked

 

 

She slowly walks over to me with a smile on her face. She places my hands in her's as she swings it side to side. 

 

''I was waiting to tell Mark, but I figured since I tell you everything...I might as well say it.'' she replied.

 

''What?'' I asked with a smirk.

 

 

''I want another kid.'' she says.

 

 

My mouth drops down. She was actually serious.

 

I could see it in her face.

 

 

''Really?'' I said.

 

''Mmhhm.'' she shot back.

 

''You...sure?'' I replied.

 

''Yes, i've always wanted tons of kids. And with Taylor i'm happy, but I need a baby boy. It's my big dream to have a boy alongside a girl.'' she starts.

 

 

She circles around the table where I lean on.

 

''I talked with Mark on having another kid, he says he'll think about it. And for these past few days, i'm thinking it'll be perfect right after the wedding to adopt another kid.'' she says.

 

 

''Right after the wedding?'' I replied.

 

''Well not right after, of course me and Mark have our honeymoon. But a few weeks later I'll be perfect to give Taylor a sibling.'' she reassures men.

 

 

''And you've thought about this?'' I said placing a hand on the table.

 

 

Bella reverted to standing in front of me, a smile on her face.

 

 

''Yes, I think it's time. I know Mark still has a decision to make. But, it'll make things happy for us.'' she says.

 

''So when are you going to tell Mark about it again?'' I asked.

 

 

''Right now.'' she says.

 

''Now?'' I asked anxious.

 

''Yes, that's why i'm been angry and upset about the wedding. I just want it to be perfect, and then we'll adopt and my life will be complete. A boy and a girl.'' she finally says.

 

''You're really gonna do it.'' I reply.

 

''Yep.'' she says.

 

 

And after our breif conversation, something Bella said made me realize that she was right.

 

She can't keep things for too long.

 

And I can't too.

 

 

I need to tell someone.

 

Right now.

 

 

My heart began to pace faster at that thought. It was scary to tell someone that I was pregnant.

 

But i'm not so sure yet.

 

 

''Wish me luck.'' Marybella says, bringing me from my thoughts.

 

She squeezes me with her cool hands then makes a run for the swinging door.

 

 

I leaned back on the island of the kitchen again as I thought for a second.

 

I figured if Marybella can tell Mark in confidence that she wants another kid, then I can tell almost anyone that I might be pregnant.

 

 

I didn't know how I plan to tell anyone, but it should be worth it.

 

 

I enter back into the living room, blaring music playing as everyone is talking.

 

I walk over to where Rikki is taking drinks with Chris. I tap her shoulder and her attention is brought to me.

 

 

''I'm going home, i'll be back soon.'' I said

 

''Wait you can't leave? You're the life of the party.'' she reponds.

 

''You're the hostess.'' I replied, leaving.

 

 

I walk my way back to where the hallway leads to the front door. I heard footsteps pace behind me.

 

''Elle, I need to tell you about the news i've been meaning to say.'' Nicki says.

 

''Uh,...why don't you just tell me when i get back.'' i said, turning to her.

 

 

''Wait, where are you going?'' she asks.

 

''Home, i'll be back soon.'' I replied

 

 

I stepped out of the house and made my way to the car. In the reflection of the car, Icould see the baby bump.

 

I desparately tried to hide with my clutch tonight.

 

Most of the time I hid behind people.

 

 

I felt embrassed as I scoffed at myself and got in the car.

 

 

 

By the time I made it home I hadn't forgotten to get another pregnancy test from the drug store.

  

I decided to change out of my heels and wear something more comfortable.

 

The heels were poking the bottom of my foot making it painful to walk.

 

 

I quickly open the door and head in, a sigh comes out of my mouth as I made a hurtful walk upstairs.

 

Every step hurt more than the one before, but luckily iImanaged to numb the pain with my thoughts.

 

 

Soon everyone will know and things will be fine. 

 

 

I enter into the bedroom and lock the door behind me.

 

A small smile appears on my face. It felt good to tell everyone when I get back.

 

Of course if i'm actually pregnant.

 

 

I leaned up off the bedroom door. I heard a loud cough come from the room, along with something else.

  

 

I slowly head towards the bathroom, it sounded louder coming from there.

 

I open the door and turn on the lights, the door creaks open as I look ahead to where the noise might be.

 

 

A small dog appears in the bathroom. My first instinct was to yell.

 

But I was silent, it was just an innocent dog. It might have got in somehow.

 

 

I look back into the bedroom and saw the open window. I smiled as I turned back to the dog.

 

It might have climbed up the the vine leading from our window. 

 

 

''How'd you get in here?'' I asked.

 

I wasn't sure if it was an girl or boy. But seemed more of a boy by the way it behaved.

 

 

I looked down to where I thought was a surprise, and it was.

 

His nose sniffs the trash can, as I lean in a bit to see the tissue and pregnancy box nearby in view.

 

 

I walked a little closer as I spot whatever was in front of him.

 

Turned out, he ate something bad from the trash can which made him spit it back up. 

 

Maybe he had a weak stomach.

 

 

As soon as I thought it would be rude of me to not clean it up, I saw something I dreaded to be in the view.

 

I look down in shock to where he sat with the sign in his pit full of puke.

 

 

A big postive plus.

 

I gasped silently as I watched him look at my expression.

 

 

I had my answer, but I wasn't sure if it was me.

 

But it most certainly was me.

 

 

I hurry out of the bathroom, but then I head back in as he trails behind me.

 

I clean up what's left of the mess and take the piece of paper with the big red plus on it.

 

 

It had still stunned me with a surprise that the dog had ate it.

 

 

I looked back to where to the dog stood.

 

His happy doughy eyes staring back at me.

 

 

''I can't leave you here alone.'' I said to him.

 

He trots forward as we walk our way downstairs. I didn't mind that I hadn't changed my shoes, so I had to soldier on.

 

 

I get in as fast as I can into the car and fasten the seatbelt on the dog.

 

He looked safe and happy.

 

I smiled back at him as he's secure in the seat. I put on my seatbelt and push on the gas.

 

--

 

I opened the door to the bustling party, plenty of drinks were being poured as I enter.

 

The dog, which I named Bongo, entered in too beside me.

 

 

''Oh my god, a dog!!'' Nicki yells out, approaching me.

 

 

She picks up Bongo and plays with him.

 

I simply smile as my mind finally stops worrying. Then I think of the second pregnancy test I took on the way over.

 

 

It was too bad Bongo was the one to find out before everyone else. It kind of made me feel special.

 

The confused, but also fun look on his face when I thought of it, made my face light up.

 

 

''Is he yours?'' Nicki asks.

 

''He is now.'' I replied.

 

 

''Oh no, it was supposed to be a surprise when you got home.'' Rikki says in the distance.

 

She approaches me while the rest of the gang stayed in the living room.

 

 

''What, it was-'' I pointed to Bongo.

 

''Suppose to be a suprise.'' Rikki finished.

 

She grunts at the wall.

 

''Yeah, sorry. I didn't tell you earlier when you left.'' Rikki says.

 

 

''It's fine, in fact I have a surprise too.'' I said.

 

''Oh wait before you do, your dad wants to talk to you.'' Rikki says, pulling me into the living room.

 

 

''I'll take care of your dog.'' Nicki says, holding Bongo.

 

I turn and give her a look, before i'm back in the living room again by Rikki's hands.

 

 

I spot dad on the couch, casually sitting and listening to the up tempo music.

 

 

I sit down next to him peacefully as I watch his eyes linger towards mom talking with Jacob.

 

''Hey.'' I said to him.

 

 

He gestures to get up, but I stop him.

 

''Oh no, don't get up you're fine.'' I said.

 

''I can't get up.'' he replies.

 

 

''So how's mom?'' I ask him.

 

''She's looking just fine today. I'll tell ya, just fine.'' he replies, in her direction.

 

 

Mom approaches me us.

 

''Hello dear, where were you?'' she asks, walking.

 

I get up and follow behind her.

 

''Home, but i'm back.'' I replied to her.

 

 

''That's fine, do you want to talk?'' mom asks.

 

She clings my arms with her's. There's no escape for this.

 

We walk out of the living room together. Dad is left sitting on the couch.

 

 

But before I answer her questions, i'm interuppted again.

 

''Oh Elle, I have to tell you the news.'' Nicki says, with Bongo in her arms.

 

"A dog." Mom mentions.

 

 

Mom motions for Nicki to follow behind. I turn back to mom as I prep to tell the news.

 

 

''Um, I have news.'' I replied.

 

''What is it dear?'' she says.

 

 

We continue to walk slowly as I hesitate to answer.

 

''I'm pregnant.'' I tried whisper.

 

''I'm sorry, what?'' she replies.

 

 

''I'm pregnant.'' I whisper, stern.

 

''I can't hear Elle, speak up-'' Mom starts.

 

''I said i'm pregnant!'' I say loud enough for her to hear.

 

 

Nicki stops pacing behind us. I turn from the ground to mom with a smile.

 

She didn't seem surprised, just out of order.

 

I could Nicki was just as surprised.

 

 

 

''I'm confused, why didn't you tell Jacob.'' she says.

 

 

Mom and I had trailed outside to the back of Rikki's house.

 

 

My knees hugged close to my chest. I looked to the ground, then the light brightening the back of Rikki's house.

 

I watched as the gang danced inside. I then turn back to mom as she sat silently.

 

 

''I didn't know how to break it down to everyone. It was a scary moment just finding out that i'm pregnant.'' I responded.

 

''I know how you feel, I was scared the first time I told your dad that I was pregnant.''

 

Mom points her head inside to where dad sat.

 

 

I knew she was talking about my real dad, she had the look in her eyes.

 

''I wanted to run away, but I had to tell your dad. And when I finally worked up the courage, he was under a lot of pressure to carry on with his bloodline. But then I made a run for it.'' she says.

 

 

''3 weeks pregnant and I didn't know what to do. So I left for New York City and I started my life there. I met Henry in SoHo and within the time we went on our 5th date, I told him I was pregnant. He was not suprised, but he knew what he had to do.'' she says.

 

 

I look down to the ground below then back up again. I never heard mom say this story or anything like it before.

 

It was calming to hear her voice again, it was something truly beautiful.

 

 

''So what happened?'' I asked eager.

 

''He decided that we should get married,...but I told him only if we fall in love.'' she replies.

 

''And did you?'' I asked softly.

 

 

Mom nods her head with a smile, then opens her mouth to continue on.

 

 

''We did. And then we traveled while I still could, pregnant, up until I couldn't no more. Then you came along into our lives, and I promised myself that when you'd get pregnant that I would tell you this story.'' Mom says.

 

''Mom that's so sweet. But also hard for you...to just do that. You know everything that's happened before.'' I replied.

 

I felt tears began to form but I pushed them back.

 

 

''So how do you plan to tell Jacob?'' she asked.

 

''I didn't think much of that. I just suspected he would have known.'' I replied.

 

 

''Did you take a test?'' she asked.

 

''Yes,plenty. The first time it was tonight before we came here and then I broke it. But then the second time on the way here was at a gas station restroom with Bongo. Who, found my pregnancy test first and ate the results afterwards.'' I said.

 

 

A little laughter comes from mom as iI think back on earlier.

 

The surprise in Bongo's face was plenty enough, he barely barked the whole time which made me smile.

 

 

''Just to make it easier, I talked with Jacob while you were gone. He had plenty to say about kids, and you guys. I think it's time right now to say that you're pregnant.'' she says.

 

 

''But how, how did you do it?'' I say to mom.

 

She looked down silently then turned back to me with a smile.

 

''Just say it, like how I did with Bali and Henry.'' she said softly.

 

 

It seemed alright when she said it. But inside I still felt scared to say it out loud.

 

Bongo knows, Nicki knows and now Mom knows.

 

Everyone except Jacob who should have known in the first place.

 

 

''Guess, i'll go and tell everyone now.'' I replied.

 

Mom helps me up as I tried to get used to the feeling. I was pregnant and I knew what would happen sometime from now.

 

A baby, and possibly more if I want.

 

 

I head inside as mom trots behind me.

 

I couldn't back out now, it's time to tell everyone.

  

 

''Hey.'' I said loud enough.

 

Everyone's attention is brought to me. I slowly make my way to the center as I watch everyone stare for a second.

 

''I have some news.'' I replied

 

 

People gather to the center.

 

 ''So, some of you make question why i'm calling everyone to attention. But it's rather a big need of attention.'' I started.

 

''The truth is there's I can finally tell you guys.'' I said.

 

 

I look to mom in the crowd as she smiles, it instantly felt right in that moment to just say it.

 

It felt good in this second nature.

 

 

''I'm pregnant.'' I say.

 

Most of everyone just stood in slience, shocked. But most of them began to smile as I suspected.

 

Bella's the first to smile really wide as the party continues.

 

The music blares again as the silent moment passed. I slowly move from the high spot where I stood and move down to where Jacob stood.

 

 

''So that's what you've been meaning to tell us.'' he says.

 

He shoves his hands in his front pockets as I look up to him.

 

 

''Yes, and i'm sorry you had to find out this way. But-'' I trail off.

 

 

I spot Bongo on the ground sniffing my shoes and I pick up him up.

 

''Bongo here, found out first when I got home. Turns out Rikki left a surprise for us at our house while we were here.'' I said with a smile.

 

Jacob leans in the plant a kiss on Bongo's head as I continued to hold him.

 

 

''I think Bongo is a sign that this is perfect.'' I say.

 

"Yeah, I think it is." he responds.

 

''So you're not mad, that you're not the first to know i'm pregnant?'' I asked.

 

''No. Most of the time telling someone you really love that you're pregnant is hard. I understand, i'm just glad Bongo was there to help keep you calm.'' he replies, then smiles.

 

 

His fingers stroke the tiny hairs on Bongo's head as Bongo searches the crowd for refreshments.

 

 

I smile as I put Bongo down. His legs run to the cold rolled hand sandwiches.

 

I kneel up and look to Jacob who had a huge grin.

 

 

I could tell in his eyes everything was going just fine. Just as he imagined.

 

''I'm glad, and happy that we're having a baby. I knew how much it meant to you about having kids, and I want to let you know, i'm here all the way. No matter what.'' he finally says.

 

''Really?'' I respond.

 

 

''Really.'' he responds.

 

We both lean in as our hands clasp each other. Even in the outlook of the party we dance slow and steady to the upbeat music.

 

Our heads bump each other as we both smile.

 

I was glad the moment was over. Fnally I have peace and nothing to stress about.

 

 

''So do you want to keep Bongo, or are we just going to give him back to Rikki?'' Rikki interuppts

 

''Of course we're keeping him. Plus it'll be nice to come home to another responbility unlike yourself.'' I respond, looking at Jacob with a huge grin.

 

''Then Bongo stays.'' she replies

 

 

It made me happy to know that Bongo is officially a part of us.

  

 

''So do you think it's a girl or a boy?'' Jacob asks as we steadily dance.

 

''I think it should be a surprise.'' I replied.

 

 

I was anxious too in preparation to find out. But we'll have to wait till the doctors give a proper answer before birth.

 

But for now, it's just a little world with me and him.

 

--

 

Nicki's P.O.V

 

 

I pack the last sandwich I took from the platter, then I hear the swinging door widen across the room. I turn my head.

 

It's Mrs. Woods, she enters in with a smile.

 

 

''Hey Mrs. Woods, what are you doing?'' I asked.

 

''Just taking out the trash. Unfortunately Rikki is wasted and can't be responsible for much longer.'' she says.

 

 

She smiles and takes the bag near. But I stop her in that moment.

 

''Mrs. Woods?''

 

 

She looks back to my attention.

 

I was shocked she would even respond.

 

 

''I'm struggling right now, and I could use some help-'' I started.

 

 

I wanted to tell her how I can't pay rent after next month and maybe beg her to give me money to buy food.

 

But it was too much to ask for when she found me near the fisher's market.

 

 

I was hoping to get sushi for lunch, but then I couldn't pay. She was there and she offered to pay for me.

 

Then she invited me to come see Elle for a party. It made me feel happy to get to eat as much food as possibe and go home with a full stomach lasting till tomorrow.

 

 

I wanted to tell her i'm not going to survive any longer. But instead it would be better for my apathy in the past to tell her something else.

 

Something that means so much to me.

 

 

''Could you help me, i've been trying to find this person for so long. But I can't figure out anything about him and I need your help.'' I finally said.

 

 

She sets down the trash bag and heads over to me, a small smile on her face.

 

''Of course, anything. You're practically a friend of mine now. I'll help you, now what is it again?'' she reponds.

 

Her warm hands touch my pouty cheek softely as I look back at her.

 

 

I jump at the answer and take out the piece of paper i've been meaning to finally show.

 

 

''I'm been trying to figure out the name of these intials, I can't uncode them. So far i've come up with several names in hopes one of them will be a match. But I haven't searched them up yet. And, I have a letter, cut off, with most of the writing. But I figured it's the person's writing.'' I huff in a breath.

 

''Calm down Nicki, it's fine. Just give me the paper and we'll see if I can figure it out.'' she says.

 

 

I hand her the paper as I twist and turn my hands together in anticipation.

 

I was nervous she might back out of it, but she hasn't since I just gave it to her.

 

I bite my lips as she continues to read down the list.

 

 

I had it memorized in my head.

 

She would read the intials above first, then scan through the names I put down potentially resembling the intials. And the little writing excerpt from the letter.

 

I've read the words over and over again. It didn't make sense until it meant someone else was getting hurt.

 

 

Most of the words were blocked or smudged out. I couldn't get the orginal copy from the private investigator I hired, but it's the closest I have.

 

But at least most of the words were clear to read, and it meant something.

 

 

I just hope Mrs. Woods can figure it out for me. I know he must of have felt bad.

 

I just want to confront him and ask why he did it.

 

Or at least why he left and never came back.

 

 

Dear Clai--, I’ve done something bad and it led to my --------- about 2 months ago, so i ------ myself for our daughter's sake and fled the country. You’ve been a great mother and wife to me, i wish the best in her future and iwanted to apologize for------ You were one of the best things i loved, --- iif t means getting help --------- ------------. But over the years i've inspired our daughter in so many ways, i wish you and i still have that ----------  like she always did. But i’m sorry for ---------- your the most important person i ever met -------- in my whole life, I Love ---. 

 

Sincerely H----

 

 

 

I still have yet to figure out the name but I know Mrs. Woods can help me.

 

 

Shock rose in her face as I stood still. I knew in that moment she might had found me crazy.

 

The stunned look  left her face as she slowly faces me again.

 

Her head stays still as I stood there in silence for a second.

 

 

"Where did you get this?" she asks.

 

''Did you find something?'' I asked filling the awkward moment.

 

''No.'' she said flat out.

 

 

She looked out of place as if she saw a ghost. I thought maybe she was phased by what I found.

 

I just knew she would run out on me, but I still had hope.

 

Mrs. Woods handed the paper back to me. I hold it in my hand without looking down to it.

 

 

''I can't think of anything, i'm sorry. But hopefully someone else can help you.'' she replies.

 

She was back to her regular self after that awkward answer, but I still felt the stunned look on her face linger as I looked to her.

 

I nod my head in response.

 

My hands reaching to cover my mouth from the trembling form it took.

 

 

I felt like crying, but I had to hold on.

 

Maybe she was just as shocked as I was, or she knew something and didn't want to tell me.

 

 

I would keep her secret if she didn't want to tell me. I can trust she'll tell me when she's ready.

 

But it doesn't solve the fact that she may be holding something back.

 

 

''I'll be taking the trash out.'' she replied, reaching for the bag again.

 

 

She leaves and I however take the paper and place it back into my purse.

 

I still felt upset, I didn't have a lead or someone to predict the information.

 

I was really hoping Mrs. Woods would know something. But it looks like i'll have to keep searching for dad with someone else's help.

 

 

It'll be longer or sooner than I think.

 

 

I hover over my purse to close it as I heard heels click through the hallway. The open pathway near the front door came into a shadow with Elle.

 

She brushed past with her dog in her hands. I remember earlier how he was licking me and trying to bite the faux fur carpet on the ground.

 

 

I smiled as the dog looked my way.

 

I walk to the left towards the front door where Elle was holding Bongo.

 

 

''Elle, I think it's time I let you know the news now.'' I said.

 

She turns with a smile as she sets down her dog. His black and white splotched fur resembling the black and white checkerboard tile floor leading from the kitchen to the front door.

 

 

''I wanted to tell you earlier, that I go into FARELLE.'' I annonuced.

 

 

The surprise and shock in her face was amazing. I've been waiting to tell her.

 

She smiled and hugged me tightly as I returned a grin.

 

 

It was great. I got the job and met the required details for FARELLE.

 

By the time work starts up again. i'll have enough money to pay for rent.

 

And i'll be able to sustain myself.

 

 

''Nicki, i'm so happy for you. You'll get to work with me and everything.'' she said excited.

 

I felt my eyes water for a second. I was glad to be spending more time with Elle.

 

It's been so long since college, and it'll be great for us to hang out again.

 

 

I've already got comfortable with her friends during the party tonight, it'll be better when I go into work knowing more about Elle.

 

Rikki and Marybella were so nice to me when I said I would be working for FARELLE.

 

I know I wanted to wait until Elle was the first to hear.

 

But I couldn't resist.

 

 

''Well this is great, we'll work closely and i'll teach you everything I know.'' Elle replied.

 

''Thanks, it really means a lot. I get to see you more often when I start in August.'' I reply.

 

''Great, i'll see you sometime before-, or maybe at Marybella's wedding?'' Elle asked.

 

 

She pulled her hands into mine as we swing it side to side.

 

''Yes, Bella talked about adding me to the roster as long as i'm in New York City.'' I say.

 

''That's great, we'll talk more about FARELLE then.'' she replied.

 

 

''You don't know how much this makes me feel so happy.'' I answered.

 

''I'm glad, but right now I have to say goodbye. I have to a bunch of dog food to buy for Bongo, since he's offcially mine now.'' Elle replied.

 

''Oh, go ahead, I don't want to stop you.'' I said, gesturing her to leave.

 

''Goodbye.'' she said.

 

 

I waved bye as Bongo trails behind her. The glass design of the window up front parted as she exited.

 

I saw the pink tint of her dress shine in the dark as she passed.

 

 

I hear footsteps near behind me.

 

Jacob was in sight.

 

 

''Hey did Elle leave already?'' he asked, looking to his phone.

 

''Yes, she just left now.'' I replied.

 

''Okay, good night.'' he replied.

 

 

He opened the door and left as I watched his blue dress shirt reflect in the dark night, from the porch lights shining down near the cars parked out front.

 

I smiled widely and rubbed my arms, as I watched them leave together.

 

I head back into the kitchen.

  

 

I walk over and take my purse from the island table and throw it over my forearm.

 

''Goodbye Mrs. Woods, i'm leaving.'' I shouted.

 

 

I didn't know if she heard me or not, but  i'm going.

 

 

I head down the porch steps onto the huge driveway where I parked my car.

 

 

Chapter Seventeen: 400 Lux

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

4 years ago

 

 

I walked into the classroom where the professor looked as I entered. Several other students stared too.

 

It was common for this to happen. 

 

I clentched my fist as I make the embarassing walk to my seat, it was about 10 steps up.

 

 

Students continued to stare as I ease through to my seat. I sit down next to a girl subconsciously watching me.

 

I felt my face start to get hot.

 

 

It wasn't my first time being late to class. In fact, I barely went.

 

And luckily the girl who sat one seat to the right from me got to see it all in action.

 

 

''You're late.'' she whispers to me.

 

''I know, I am most of the time.'' I whispered back.

 

 

The professor shushes us as he continued the lecture. The topic of the semester was haikiu's, poems and basically post modern literature.

 

 

It bored me to death, I was sure to change degrees next year.

 

If I even make it past my first year of college.

 

 

My first week was kind of rough, during orientation. But now the real fun begins.

 

And I knew I would get into class late with my schedule.

 

 

It took about 2 buses to get up here on the rural town side of Rosewood. Mainly exhausting.

 

 

My days of school would go regular as always.

 

 I'd fight with mom before I left uptown to catch the bus. Then i'd take the quiet ride up reviewing syllabuses to save my life.

 

And i'll pass by a couple of people I had to fight to get to the admission's office. But of course now going to admissions was no longer needed.

 

 

But then i'd show up to my Journalism class late, then sit down through lectures for other classes too.

 

And that was pretty much it.

 

 

''Alright take out a piece of paper and start taking notes. There will be an exam at the end of september finishing off the introduction to Journalism these past few weeks. The notes won't be said again or even pointed out, just follow along as I read from the board.'' Professor Lancaster said.

 

 

I slump back into the hard wood chair. I sighed.

 

''It's only September 1st.'' I whispered.

 

 

That was just peachy. Something I knew would hit me in the head.

 

An exam.

 

 

''What a great way to spend my birthday taking an exam on something i'll know nothing about just weeks from now.'' I silently said to myself.

 

 

The same girl I saw eyeing me from earlier leans back in her chair.

 

''When's your birthday?'' she asks.

 

''September 29.'' I replied softly.

 

''Well, happy early birthday, in case I don't come to class during that week of the exam.'' she says. 

 

 

There was a little laughter after in her voice.

 

I couldn't help but smile a little. It felt nice to have someone in class have a little sense of humor.

 

 

Everyone during their first week couldn't take a joke.

 

I had come up with so many just weeks before orientation.

 

 

It was serious business and classes through everyone else's eyes, and they all seemed better than mw.

 

 

They're talent and looks, the ways girls thought it was cute to dumb themselves down to get a guy's attention.

 

And guys thought it was fun to just skip class and hang out near the hot girls they'd nail later in the year.

 

 

It was a crazy first experience.

 

 

But it seemed better, when the girl who sat a seat to the right eased up the tension.

 

She leans back from her notes as I write too.

 

 

''My name's Nicki.'' she asked.

 

 

I looked to her with a small smile forming. I could tell I was going to like her, she was kinda like me.

 

Unprententious and full of hope. It was like looking at myself in the mirror from the past.

 

 

''Elle, freshman.'' I replied rolling my eyes.

 

''I'm a junior.'' she replied.

 

I laughed a little, it was hard to say I made friends often.

 

 

But it seemed easier just now.

 

 

I turn back to my notes as the professor continues. She taps my arm as I pull away from my paper.

 

 

''A little fact you should know about me, I have anxiety.'' she says.

 

''A little fact about me, i'm complicated.'' I replied.

 

''Me too.'' she replied with a smile.

 

 --

 

After a long class period I grab my backpack.

 

Students ahead leave as I run down the small stairs.

 

 

''Hey!'' called out a voice.

 

I turn around to see Nicki. I smlied as I looked to her.

 

''You got a roommate? Cause I don't.'' she asks.

 

 

Other students rush in making noise as I try to exit, she follows behind.

 

''What do you say?'' she asks, as we exit the room.

 

 

I turn right, into the hallways adjusting my backpack behind me.

 

''I don't know, i'll think about it.'' I replied.

 

''Was that a yes?'' she asked trailing beside me.

 

''No.'' I replied.

 

 

''Is that a no?'' she replied.

 

''No.'' I reply.

 

 

I walked away smiling a little bit. It took a while to understand the way I responded and how I thought.

 

I just hoped Nicki would get it.

 

I could feel the happy tension follow behind me. Nicki might have been the first classmate I ever had that was so nice to me.

 

 

No one even bothered to look my way during orientation.

 

But today, I might've made a friend.

 

 

It seemed weird and delusional to make friends. I was always forced into thinking friends were a good thing.

 

But with the way I acted and who I am personally, it didn't make much sense till now.

 

Chapter Eighteen: Bad Blood

 

   

''I can't believe the wedding is today, you're gonna look so funny in your dress.'' Nicki implies.

 

''Hey, don't say that. I'm gonna look fine. Plus Rita already has my measurements sewed. So i'm good for this afternoon.'' I replied.

 

 

I turn my head back from facing her and place my hands on my belly.

 

It's already been 2 months and it seemed like my baby was growing bigger each day.

 

 

A small breeze comes our way as we lay underneath the tree looking at the sky.

 

 

It was quite beautiful here in Central Park. I'd come here often and walk to get some excercise.

 

Jacob would complain about how lazy I got at home and at work, so my new escape was here. 

 

  

 

''So did you buy something to wear?'' I asked.

 

''Yes, it's pretty and light green. It's not like a sapphire blue, but it's what I could get.'' she replies.

 

 

''I'm just glad you're here with me right now. It's about time Marybella finally got married.'' I said.

 

''I'm so happy for her.'' she said.

 

 

''I just can't believe how much of a good life I have. Everything is finally falling into place. I have a good paying job at FARELLE and i'm getting closer to finding my dad.'' Nicki replies.

 

''Yep, and now I just have wait for this baby to grow.'' I said looking to my stomach.

 

''Lunch time is over, let's get back to FARELLE.'' she said.

 

 

I slowly get up as she helps me to my feet. I loved the idea of time we've spent together since we both work at FARELLE now.

 

We'd take our lunch breaks out in Central Park.

 

I felt as if it was good for us to communicate again since we've last seen each other.

 

 

''Come on.'' Nicki says holding onto me.

 

I hurried with my slow steps as i'm brought from my thoughts.

 

 

As we make the walk back into the building, we scan through the area for Lauren.

 

I spot her as we enter through the glass doors.

 

 

''Hey i'm here.'' I said walking up to her.

 

''Oh that's great. Quick thing, I need you to get this printed and file it under the W-Z in my room. It's the camel sand cabinent you're searching for.'' she replies to me.

 

 

''Great, i'll get it done right away.'' I replied, walking past her.

 

''Oh Elle?'' Lauren calls after me.

 

 

I turn to her on my heel.

 

''Do be careful, I know how pregnant women can get with stress.'' she says to me.

 

''I'm fine. I'm only 4 and a half months pregnant. Don't stress.'' I reply back to her.

 

 

She leaves as I watch Nicki walk beside her. I turn back to the printer room as my purse lugs on my forearm.

 

I enter in the code and exact number of copies. The machine makes a loud noise.

 

 

Seconds later papers come out neatly. I grab them and make a slow wobbled walk back to Lauren's office.

 

I had forgotten why I don't work as much as everyone now.

 

 

I think I can do everything, but I forget i'm pregnant.

 

 

I put my hand on my back as I enter into Lauren's room.

 

I look for the file cabnient that she was talking about.

 

 

My eyes spot it and I slowly walk over to where it was. I bend down as my knees as my stomach drop.

 

I sigh in frustration and get up.

 

 

''Need help?'' says a famailar voice.

 

 

I look up to see Marcus dressed in his usual grey styled wardrobe.

 

I smile as he inches over to me.

 

 

''Yes, the file should be under W-Z, last drawer.'' I respond to him.

 

''You can't bend down that much, you need to rest.'' he says, leaning back up to me.

 

 

He closes the drawer with his foot giving me a concerned look.

 

''I am resting, i've been resting since you guys found out I was pregnant.'' I replied to him.

 

''Well not enough. If you need help, you know where to find me.'' he says.

 

 

His hands touch both my arms then leaves to his side as he exits the room. I bite my lip looking around Lauren's room again.

 

Maybe he's right, i've been working myself hard these past couple of weeks.

 

 

 

I walk my way back normally to my desk, as my tired back hits the chair I desparately wanted to see something other than file cabinents today.

 

A relieved groan leaves my mouth. This was just what I needed.

 

 

I lean up and start to type away on my computer.

 

It was about the time I make a come back again to my blog.

 

 

 

It felt good to write again in my blogs. I've been getting good responses and fans are glad i'm blogging again.

 

To be honest, everything felt right in the world when I started typing again.

 

It felt relishing to feel happy about people's comments and to show my progress. I had hit it big with a lot of viewers who check in every week.

 

 

I finshed typing then post and close my laptop putting it into my bag.

 

I get up as I watch the time change on my phone.

 

 

''Ready to go?'' Jacob says, entering in through the glass.

 

12:38PM.

 

 

''Right on time.'' I replied to him.

 

''Hey Elle, good luck with the appointment.'' Nicki says passing by.

 

 

I wave to her as Jacob leads the way going towards the glass doors. It opens as I look to my right.

 

Carrie looks up as I pass.

 

 

''See ya later.'' she says to me.

 

I smiled as I make the slow walk to the elevator.

 

Jacob followed behind as the doors began close.

 

 

--

 

''Hello, and how are we this evening.'' Doctor Mia says.

 

''Good.'' I reply, sitting up.

 

''So how is the baby? I see your belly is showing.'' she says, sitting down.

 

 

She reaches into her coat pocket to get a pen, writing down a few things.

 

I watch her intensely.

 

 

''So it looks like you are 4 months into your pregnancy.'' Doctor Mia says.

 

''Yep.'' I reply.

 

 

Jacob stays silent next to me as I try to fix my seating position in the hard chair.

 

I was getting mostly uncomfortable in hard chairs.

 

 

There's a moment of silence as I adjust again. Doctor Mia writes down a few things, then finally she looks up.

 

''Welcome, you're in your 2nd trimester or what mom's call the fun part. So how does it feel?'' she asks.

 

''I'm freaking out.'' I say.

 

 

I didn't know much of what was going on.

 

But I did know my tummy was showing for one.

 

 

''Well everything looks good from what I can see-'' Doctor Mia says, looking down at her clipboard.

 

''You must have a lot of energy right now and your meals might be staying down. Everything looks great.'' Doctor Mia says.

 

I smile a little, it was good to know that things were fine.

 

 

''I guess since you're 4 months in, you've been keeping a food catalog?'' she asks.

 

''I didn't even know I was suppose to do that.'' I replied, holding onto Jacob's hand.

 

 

I ease out of my seat as I felt slight pain, the baby was poking and streching inside of me.

 

I felt uncomfortable.

 

 

Doctor Mia notices me changing my seat position again, as a little smile forms on my face.

 

 

''I'm guessing you're umcofortable, don't worry it happens within the 4 months of pregnancy. Your baby is just growing and streching to it's new form.'' she replies.

 

''That's great, but not so much for me.'' I reply.

 

 

My hands wrap around my stomach as the strech of pain goes away.

 

I take a breath. Tt was too much for me to handle.

 

 

''So how's everything, you eating enough? Resting? Especially at 4 months, your energy level is waayy up there.'' she points with her pen.

 

 

''Yeah, i've been seeing that a lot lately.'' I said.

 

''So have you come up with a prenatal exercise routine? You know, just to help you ease throughout the rest of your pregnancy.'' Doctor Mia asks.

 

 

''I've been walking lately, is that a prenatal exercise routine?'' I asked.

 

''Yes, but I recommend doing certain pregnancy activities other than walking. Like swim classes, it's not to late to do that for a 4 month pregnant woman. Or pilates, perfect for helping with birth. Just don't stretch too much in the areas that aren't needed.'' she replied.

 

''Great, i'll make sure to check in on that.'' I replied

 

 

She flips through some charts as we sat in small silence.

 

 

''...And have you shopped for cribs yet? Just so you can space out where you're going put the baby?'' she says.

 

 

I look to Jacob with a little surprise, I hadn't thought about everything.

 

I kind of just focused on letting the baby take over my daily life.

 

 

''Not really.'' I answered.

 

''No pressure. I just think now's a good time to shop and browse baby things while your energy is still up.'' she says with a smile

 

''I'll look into that.'' I reply.

 

 

She pushes her glasses into place as she types down on her computer.

 

''Any changes you've discovered, or anything you have questions about?'' she asks finally.

 

''Well, I have noticed the amount of cravings i've had recently. But i've been too sick to eat sometimes.'' I exclaim.

 

 

''Don't worry it's perfectly normal. Your appetite will pick up this month if you keep getting sick. But by the end of this month....your pregnancy weight will be around 11 to 15 pounds.'' she replied.

 

 

My eyes widen in a little shock. I'd never expect to gain a little weight.

 

Especially in Jail. I remember having a hard time just trying to lose it.

 

 

''Any heartburn? That seems to happen during this time of month.'' she says

 

''Kind of, i've been relaxing to push it down.'' I said

 

''Although that may be a good start method, however I recommend eating certain things. Like,....avoidng fast food or greasy food in general-'' she starts.

 

 

I nod my head as she continues. Doctor Mia has been really helpful during the start of my pregnancy.

 

That's the only reason's why I trust her since i've come here before.

 

 

''Eat less, stay away from alcohol or caffine drinks. Drink plenty of water and apply pillows on the bed to ease the hearburn.'' she replies.

 

''Thanks, that's great. We'll be sure to try them out.'' Jacob finally jumps in.

 

''So any other questions I can answer for you?'' she asks.

 

 

''No, i'll be just casually waiting for the next visit.'' I reply.

 

''Alright, we'll see you in the the other room to hear your baby's hearbeat. Have you done it yet? or last month?'' Doctor Mia asks, as she stands up from her stool.

 

 

''No, not yet. In fact, i'm really scared.'' I implied.

 

''Don't be, everything's going to be fine.'' she says to me.

 

 

I rub my stomach in an instant to assure that I was going to be fine.

 

''Just be sure to make an appointment for your APF test this month. It's just a test to make sure your baby is creating good protein for your bloodstream. So when we test it, we'll know if your baby has a defect or not.'' she says.

 

''Thanks, we'll make the appointment soon.'' I reply.

 

 

''Great, i'll meet you in the room just 5 doors down for your sonogram and we'll check to see how your baby's doing.'' Doctor Mia says.

 

 

She gets up and leaves the room as i'm slow to get up too.

 

Jacob offers his hand and I take it.

 

 

''So how do you feel about it? 4 months already.'' Jacob says, as we exit the room.

 

''Despite the small baby bump that's showing, everything is fine. Just like the doctor said.'' I say to him.

 

 

I make the slow walk going down 5 doors like how Doctor Mia said and I was nervous.

 

There was no advice mom had given me since i've been pregnant, only tips on how to make it easier.

 

 

But I never realized how many appointments I had to make.

 

And it's exhausting.

 

--

 

I glance up to the evening light shining in the room, the doctor's fingers make me flinch.

 

I had never been so embarassed or uncomfortable in my life.

 

 

She leans back up as relief leaves my fact. Thank god it was over.

 

Jacob stands back from the silent room as Doctor Mia shows her gloves covered in blood.

 

 

Mostly from me.

 

Jacob takes a shocked step back as he tries to reclaim himself again.

 

 

''Little blood, it's normal.'' she says to him.

 

Jacob places his hand to his chest as he takes deep breath. I knew I should've just let him stay outside.

 

But he insisted on coming in.

 

 

She rolls over on her chair over to the trash can and disposes the used gloves.

 

I however, clentch to close my legs. The hosptial gown they had given me was way too thin.

 

And it was a little drafty in the room.

 

 

''So tell me how'd you guys meet?'' she asks, approaching me again.

 

I lay back comfortably and turn my head to Jacob with a smile.

 

 

''Kind of a weird story, you see. I was planning to travel to Paris, just 4 years ago. But my ticket wasn't right and I ended up in London where I met Jacob.'' I say to her.

 

''Our lives went haywire after that.'' Jacob implies.

 

''You don't have a european accent?'' Doctor Mia asks Jacob.

 

 

''No, I used to live up in Georgia when I was younger. Where Elle is from and used to live too. And I hadn't been in London for too long to gain the english accent.'' Jacob says to Doctor Mia.

 

His eyes gleam down with a smile to me as I turn my head back to Doctor Mia.

 

''That's nice.'' she says.

 

 

She reaches over to grab some sort of stick form as I looked to see what was happening. She spreads something lover it.

 

Jacob leans over to watch Doctor Mia, growing with interest.

 

 

''Oh I see,...you're going to put the stick on her belly, with the gel.'' Jacob says with relief in his voice.

 

''Not yet, it's too early to go through the stomach from the outside. Not much to see from there, the baby's still growing so we have to go elsewhere to get a better look.'' she says.

 

 

''What.'' he says silently.

 

''We have to go through the-'' she motions her fingers forward to me.

 

 

A little whistle leaves her mouth, I was fully embarassed.

 

I couldn't be more squeezed into a situation where I felt uncomfortable.

 

And Jacob had to witness it.

 

 

He nods his head as I saw the slight shock and embarassment from his face.

 

''Would you like me to say it? Maybe it'll be more clear to you-'' she asks.

 

''No, no. It's fine. I get it.'' he interuppts.

 

 

''Alright, let's do it.'' she says.

 

As I lay motionless, I could feel the cringe rise in the room.

 

 

To Doctor Mia, this was normal.

 

But to me and Jacob, it was our first time.

 

 

''Oh god.'' My words slip out.

 

It wasn't at all what I expected, it's something else.

 

 

''And if you look to your left Elle,...we can see the fetus.'' Doctor Mia finally says.

 

I could hear the pusling heartbeat of the baby as I looked to the black screen to my left.

 

I leaned up on my elbows to get a closer look.

 

 

It was quite loud but beautiful.

 

 

''That is your baby.'' Doctor Mia says softly.

 

''Wow,...that little thing?'' I reply looking at the screen.

 

''Well it's about the size of a cabbage but, it's pretty little.'' she replies with a smile.

 

 

Cabbage.

 

I smiled as I held onto Jacob's hand, he saw the fetus too.

 

Our little baby was there, and it was growing.

 

 

Doctor Mia moves around in her chair with a little confusion as the moment passes.

 

 

I hear the pusling sound of the heartbeat grow louder.

 

''Huh.'' she says.

 

''What?'' I asked a little scared.

 

 

''It seems, there's a stronger heartbeat. Almost sounds identical to the first.'' she says

 

 

''Identical. What do you mean first?'' I asked with my eyes widened.

 

''Is there something wrong?'' Jacob buds in.

 

 

''No, but you have 2 babies.'' she says abrupt.

 

 

My eyes dart to her expression as she looks to the both of us. She then pulls the stick from me and with the sight of blood leftover, Jacob was clear on the floor.

 

No sound came from the both of us. My eyes stayed widened as my mouth opened.

 

I lean over to where he's passed out on the floor.

 

 

Doctor Mia smiles as she puts the stick back on a sanitary cloth.

 

She turns back to me with a smile as she watched me frozen from the news.

 

 

''So what do you think about twins?'' she asks me silently.

 

-- 

 

The cool air blows by again as I look back to Jacob.

 

He's still shocked, i'm however calm.

 

I turn to look at the passing people. Most of them stared at us, but some just went by without noticing.

 

 

I turn back to Jacob fast.

 

''Are we gonna leave?'' I ask.

 

''No, i'm fine.'' he finally says.

 

 

He leans up from the bench we chose to sit on since we came out of the hopital.

 

I purse my lips and look to the ground, but then my head turns to Jacob again.

 

 

''But are you gonna leave?-'' I start.

 

''Okay, let me get this straight. We're having 2 kids.'' he interuppts.

 

 

"Yup," I hesitantly say.

 

I look to the ground as my eyes began to wonder.

 

''It's...something.'' I start.

 

 

''This is not what I expected." Jacob said.

 

"Actually it's more than what I expected-'' i said with a smile.

 

He scrambles over to me with his finger pointing to me.

 

 

''Are you sure, you're ready for this? Because 1 kid, is just fine. But 2 kids,...2 kids is a handful.'' he replies.

 

He sits back down as he tries to relax again. Deep breaths leave his mouth.

 

 

I thought for a second as I turned away from him. I didn't expect to see such results as 2 kids before.

 

I never imagined having more than 1 kid.

 

 

I wanted kids, but I didn't think of more than 1 on the first pregnancy would exisy.

 

I fully remember saying I want babies, but I never expected 2 at once.

 

 

''Are you ready for this?'' Jacob finally asks.

 

I parted my lips to answer but nothing came out, there was nothing on my mind.

 

No words, just silence.

 

 

Before I can even say anything Jacob gets up from the bench, he exits to the nearby park behind us.

 

I watch him leave as my speechless mind begins to ponder.

 

I don't know what to think right now.

 

 

It's all a little too much.

 

--

 

Jacob's P.O.V

 

 

I walk around nearing a park where I left Elle at the bench. It was oddly weird to just walk around again.

 

Especially since I fell down from the news earlier.

 

I rub the soft part of my head where I hit the hospital floor.

 

 

I had passed out after.

 

I didn't know what to think.

 

 

As I continued to walk, kids run past me as I move aside.

 

 

Even the thought of kids made me anxious.

 

Was I really ready to do this?

 

 

I walk up the leading trail where I come from, to a playground where I see tons of kids running and screaming.

 

It was a wonderland of kids just playing.

 

 

''I don't even know if I like kids that much'' I whisper to myself.

 

''Hey.'' says a person, grabbing my attention.

 

 

I turn around to face the voice.

 

''What are you doing here?'' the man asks.

 

''You're talking to me?'' I respond looking around.

 

 

''Yeah you, if you don't have kids, don't come to the park-'' he starts.

 

''I have kids. But their not born yet. I just found out she's having twins. I saw the ultra sound...'' I trail off.

 

 

I never thought of confessing to a random person that I have kids. It struck me when I said it.

 

The man who stood just near me sighed as a small smile forms on his face.

 

''My name's Aaron, nice to meet you.'' he says.

 

 

 I reach to greet his hand.

 

 

''Everything changes, that's the point of pregnancy.'' he says.

 

 

I had just known this stranger for about a few minutes and I already felt a mutual connection.

 

The way he thinks is fascinating.

 

 

''But to be pregnant with twins? That's too much of a responsibility for me.'' I replied.

 

''Yeah, try 3. Not that much of a struggle.'' he says.

 

 

He looks up ahead at the huge amount of kids playing on the slides and swings.

 

''So where's your kids?'' I ask.

 

 

He points to a bunch of kids in line for a slide.

 

''My oldest, Rose. Then, Cece and over there-'' he trails off.

 

 

Aaron turns to his left where I see a young boy is in a sand box.

 

''That's Ryan.'' he finally says.

 

''Is he eating sand?'' I asked hesitant.

 

 

Aaron's silent for a second, then he turns to me.

 

''Once you get to the third kid,...you don't worry too much.'' he says.

 

 

I took a deep breath as I thought for a second.

 

 

''How did you manage as a single father to raise, 2 girls and 1 boy?'' I asked him.

 

''Let me give you a scenario-'' he starts.

 

 

He turns his full body to me with his hands put in front of me.

 

''It's awful, awful and awful. Then something good happens in between.'' he says.

 

 

His smile begins to fade as he continues.

 

''And then awful, awful....awful. But then something good happens again, you see. I drowning in my own blood and sweat, grasping to get my life back.'' he says.

 

I interuppt the small silence.

 

 

''It's really that hard?'' I ask.

 

''I'm mean the life is great, they;re happy. I'm happy....except for the lack of sleep.'' he says to me.

 

 

I lean down so my head sits onto my lap.

 

''I'm so screwed.'' I replied softly.

 

''Don't worry, it'll be fine. Plus you'll get that happy moment everyone has, while taking care of their kids.'' he finally says.

 

 

Ryan approaches us at the bench we sat on.

 

A small smile finally forms on my face as I saw the drool and sandy hands of Aaron's boy smile too.

 

 

''I guess this would be that moment.'' I said to Aaron.

 

Aaron picks up Ryan to sit on his lap.

 

''Yep, that's it.'' he says.

 

 

Then in that thought, I realized how good they must be.

 

I might have been harsh on Elle about the whole pregnancy.

 

 

I just never expected things to go by so fast.

 

 

''Thanks, for talking to me. I kind of have an idea on what to do now.'' I replied to him.

 

''Okay, good luck.'' Aaron says back.

 

 

From talking with Aaron, I felt a little better about the twins.

 

I didn't mind having a posse of kids with Elle.

 

 

It just took longer for me to understand and now I have to convince Elle i'm still in.

 

All of this pregnancy talk made my mind twist.

 

  

 

I stand up from the bench as my rushed thoughts finally leave my shoulder.

 

Things may be changing so quickly, but it think I can handle it.

 

 

--

  

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

My breath quickened as I started to sit down.

 

The wedding was already starting and I had no idea what i'm going to do.

 

 

''Relax, drink some water. Jacob will be here.'' Rita says.

 

''I'm not freaking out.'' I shot back.

 

''Just relax, he will be here.'' she says.

 

 

I let out a loud sigh as I sit down in a nearby chair.

 

 

The afternoon hazy sun had beat down on the country side of Pennslyvania.

 

It was a beautiful scenary Marybella had set up at one of her dear old friend's house.

 

 

 

''Okay, how do I look?'' Bella asks walking into the room.

 

''You look fine.'' I replied not looking at her.

 

 

''I'm not sure you mean it, I mean this is my wedding.'' Marybella panicked.

 

I turn back to her from my chair and instantly calmed down.

 

 

She never looked more beautiful than ever.

 

Her brown hair shimmered in the light reflecting off the window. I watch her transparent veil rock side to side.

 

 

I finally had my heart rate back to a normal pace.

 

''Marybella-'' I said.

 

 

She turns around to me as I watch her face look with concern.

 

 

Bella was a complete goddess in makeup and dressed head to toe in white.

 

Her mermaid dress flowed all the way down to her feet.

 

 

Marybella's lips pursed as she turned her attention to me.

 

''What?'' she asked.

 

''You look, beautiful. Beautiful.'' I said softly.

 

''Thank you.'' she replies with a smile.

 

 

That smile of her made the knot in the pit of my stomach grow. She was probably one of the most luckiest girls in the world to celebrate this moment.

 

 

And she was getting married today, a few minutes from now exactly.

 

I felt slight tears escape my face.

 

 

One of my best friends was getting married. She had her life perfectly put out.

 

Her soon to be 2 beautiful kids will have the best, wonderful mother ever.

 

 

I let out a quiet sob as she approached me.

 

I've never even took the time to realize she was actually getting married.

 

 

It all hit me at once. The moment and the timing.

 

 

''Don't cry Elle.'' she says to me.

 

I lean fowards covering my face.

 

 

Tears begin to escape as U tried to hold them back.

 

''I'm just so happy for you, and it's probably everything you've ever wanted.'' I replied.

 

''I know-'' she says.

 

 

Her cool hands touch my face as I look up at her, she kneels down to my eye level.

 

''Oh, don't do that, you'll ruin the dress.'' I said trying to get her back up.

 

''I don't care, it's just a silly pretty dress. It doesn't making the wedding more spectacular. It's the cake-'' she says.

 

 

A little laughter left my mouth as I wiped the tears with my back hand.

 

''Look, Elle. I promise you, you'll have this moment too. Okay?'' she said.

 

 

She leans up as I wipe the tears, I felt a little better.

 

Now that I heard those words.

 

 

The door of the private room we were in, opens as we look to see who it is.

 

''Wedding in 10 minutes.'' says the wedding planner.

 

 

She closes the door right after. Bella turns to me as expected.

 

 

''Well, it's gonna happen. I'm getting married.'' she said nervously.

 

I stand up from the comfortable solo chair in the room. Despite it was someone's house and backyard we were using for Bella's wedding, it was magical.

 

Something from right out of a book.

 

 

''Okay, go down and stand next to Rikki. I'll see you at the alter.'' Bella says, pushing me to the door.

 

 

I turn around as my last steps near the door.

 

''Knock 'em dead.'' I said lastly.

 

 

I hurried down the hallway, down the stairs to the massive backyard.

 

Acres of land in the midst of the early fall afternoon.

 

 

It was beautiful.

 

The twinkle lights were staked up as I walked down the aisle prepared for the wedding.

 

 

''Elle!'' Nicki calls out.

 

I turn back to her as i'm halfway down the aisle to where everyone is ready.

 

''Nicki,'' I say smiling to her.

 

 

''You look amazing.'' she says joining hands.

 

We hugged for a breif second as I looked back to what she wore.

 

 

''You look beautiful.'' I replied.

 

 

I had never seen Nicki look so pretty. Her hair was pinned up with a carnation clipped to the back.

 

Her smiled interuppted my thoughts as we're announced to set up.

 

 

''Oh that's me, I have to get up on stage.'' I said to her.

 

''Okay, see you at the reception.'' she replies, then walks to find a seat.

 

 

I look back to see if she found one. Then I pace back down to everyone who's standing at the outside wedding alter.

 

It was truly beautiful out here.

 

 

''Hey, made it just in time, it's starting-'' Rikki says, handing me my bouquet.

 

It was mostly pink and white and a little bit of yellow.

 

 

I was glad that Marybella didn't decide to choose tickle pink for the theme of the wedding.

 

We both compromised on white to make up for it.

 

And this beautiful field in Pennslyvania made the look even more fantastic as we stood waiting for her to walk down the aisle.

 

 

My best friend, getting married.

 

 

''All ready.'' Rikki whispers.

 

 

I look foward a little to see Mark in his best suit waiting for Marybella to walk down.

 

 

Music begins to play, the wedding anthem starts off slowly then picks up with sound.

 

It was abrupt most people had to catch their breath before continuing to listen.

 

 

 

I smiled as big as I could when I saw Marybella approaching the scenary.

 

She looked so beautiful, just like always.

 

 

But today, she was especially beautiful.

 

 

Her proud face showed it all when Taylor approached the aisle and sprinkled flowers to the ground.

 

It was cute.

 

 

Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see the happy smile Mark had.

 

It took him a while to finally stop grinning.

 

 

''I can't believe she's actually getting married.'' Rikki whispered to me.

 

''Yeah I know, she's been waiting her entire life for this day.'' I whispered back.

 

 

We're silent as Marybella approaches the alter. Mark helps her step up as we watch.

 

Her veil was so transparent that we could see the wrinkles in her smile form.

 

 

This was her day, and I was happy to be here to witness it.

 

 

There's silence for a second as I see Jacob enter from the outside to an empty seat.

 

I smiled a little as he waved to me.

 

 

I wondered what had took him so long to get up here, but it doesn't matter.

 

Just as long as he's here.

 

 

 

''Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join Marybella Anastasia Machistan and Mark John Wellington...along with their daugther Taylor. To join these two souls...together.'' the pastor says.

 

 

Taylor smiles as she looks up to Mark and Bella.

 

There's a small eruption of smiles as the pastor continues on.

 

 

--

  

Claire's P.O.V

 

 

I watched as Elle continued to smile while the words from the alter spill towards the back seats.

 

Her babies were growing so much. The baby bump was clearly there.

 

 

Nicki leans into me as I watch.

 

''This wedding is so beautiful. I still can't believe I was invited.'' she says.

 

 

I sigh for a second as I held onto Bali's hand next to me. I wanted for so long to finallt tell the truth.

 

But I didn't know how.

 

 

I look over to Nicki who's excited to see the couple up front.

 

Then my eyes set on Elle. What will she think?

 

 

I finally turn back to Nicki when my smile had dropped.

 

''Nicki, I need to tell you something.'' I start.

 

 

She turns her attention from the wedding to me.

 

 

''What?'' she asks.

 

 

I took a deep breath before saying it. It was probably the most devastating news she'd had to hear from me.

 

But it's worth the fight.

 

 

''I know who your father is.'' I said silently to her.

 

 

She's stunned a little bit, as if she heard the news from neighbors.

 

Nicki doesn't shy away from blinking a ew times. She's calm and still.

 

 

''What do you mean?'' she asks back, eager.

 

''I know who your real father is.'' I reply.

 

 

There's complete silence for a moment as Mark and Marybella begin halfway close to saying their vows.

 

I admit, this was not the right moment to tell Nicki.

 

 

But sooner or later she'll figure it out.

 

And it's better to tell her now.

 

 

She needs to know the truth, and after everything she's been through.

 

--

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

''I, Marybella, take Mark to be my lawfully wedded husband. To have, and to hold forever. In sickness and in health. Till death do us part.'' Bella says.

 

 

Even in her own words, it sounded right.

 

And throughout the whole time, she didn't stop smiling. That made it even more perfect.

 

 

''I, Mark, take Marybella to be my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold forever. In sickness and in health, till death do us part.'' Mark says.

 

 

I already wanted to clap but I had to stay quiet. The excitement in me couldn't be tamed.

 

I could see it in their eyes, that they meant what they said.

 

''And now for the vows.'' the pastor says.

 

 

 

The pastor moves back so that Mark and Marybella have space to get comfortable.

 

I watch closely as I held onto my bouquet of flowers tightly.

 

 

Rikki, who stands a little above me to my right, holds onto my arm to help keep me steady.

 

I return the smile as she and I look to Bella.

 

--

 

Claire's P.O.V

  

 

''How could you keep that a secret about my father behind my back? Even after that night I asked you to help me. You didn't, you shyed away.'' she fought back.

 

 

Nicki breaths in and out trying to calm herself. I however, tried to calm down too.

 

I wanted to yell and tell her it was not my fault. But part of it is.

 

''Here's the full story.'' I started.

 

 

Nicki refuses to look at me as I turned my full body to her.

 

I leaned into her ear to whisper it.

 

 

''Henry Woods is your father,...and he's dead.'' I say.

 

 

Her head turns slowly to me. She never looked more concerned than ever.

 

But I had to continue, this was my doing.

 

 

''How?'' she finally asks.

 

''Me and Henry used to be married. I put the pieces together when I read the excerpt of the letter you had. I've seen it in the past, and I still have the original copy.'' i said.

 

 

''Great. Then give me it.'' she says abruptly.

 

It shocked me a little bit. But it's better than just telling her in front of complete strangers.

 

I had to do what's right.

 

 

I take it out my clutch and withdraw the letter from years ago.

 

 

It was the same letter Elle had written in Henry's handwriting.

 

I should have been crazy to give this to Nicki. But I wasn't.

 

 

 

She takes the letter and quickly examines the words, some she recognized and the others she tried to react peacefully to.

 

I watched her eyes search the evidence as if there was more, but there wasn't.

 

I felt so sorry for her, that I had to look away.

 

 

My own step daughter had been in front of my eyes and I hadn't noticed.

 

 

''Did my dad write this?'' she finally asks.

 

''No,...Elle did.'' I replied.

 

 

Nicki's head turns back to me slowly then to the letter, she didn't seem to believe it.

 

She crumples the letter up as tears begin to form.

 

 

''Who killed my father?'' she asks.

 

She's aware of how loud she said it. But it was a quiet whisper from what I heard.

 

 

I switch my postion in my chair and I face Nicki.

 

It was time to do what I practiced earlier.

 

 

''Nicki, your father divorced your mother to be with me.'' I said.

 

There's no reaction or expression for Nicki, just a little sorrow.

 

 

''I know that, but what about everything else?'' she asks calmly.

 

''I was pregnant with Elle during the time your father left. I had just moved to New York City and I knew eventually what goes around comes back around. So when I ran into your dad, Henry, we've been together since.'' I start.

 

Nicki's silent again, which was weird.

 

I was expecting her to get mad and to through a fit.

 

 

But I guess since she's an adult, she's handling it well.

 

And telling the other news will be harder on her than right now.

 

--

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

The vows had been said and the words were so beautiful.

 

I just couldn't contain the happiness I felt.

 

 

''I can't believe they did it.'' Rikki says.

 

''I know.'' I reply.

 

 

Mark takes the veil off Marybella to reveal her face. Everyone awe's as they pull in close for a kiss.

 

 

It was the kiss that every girl dreamt of. The kiss so powerful it could take moutains down.

 

The pure kiss from the moment you say I do.

 

 

Everyone begins to clap and stand up as Mark and Marybella finally part.

 

I could see the happy look on her face.

 

 

And the beautiful diamond ring she had craved for so long.

 

I knew that in her future she would look back to his day and smile about it.

 

 

She looks over to us and waves her hand as she and Mark embrace.

 

We smile back in response as the happy moment continues.

 

''Ladies and gentlemen, I present you. Mr. and Mrs. Burisklane.'' the pastor exclaims.

 

 

 

I elbow Rikki as we continue to watch Marybella and Mark.

 

''Get a room slut.'' Rikki says to Marybella.

 

 

Bella lashes out for Rikki, but is in Mark's hand so she stands back.

 

I still continue to clap, then look over to where Jacob is.

 

 

He's missing, it kind of worried me. But I knew i'd find him later.

  

 

--

 

Nicki's P.O.V

 

 

Everyone claps as I sit down angrily.

 

 

Elle's mom told me to news and I felt like I had been hit with a hard rock.

 

I got the wind kickedd out of me.

 

It was devastating to hear something come from lies.

 

 

Claire knew this whole time and didn't wait until now to tell me.

 

And this was a happy day for Marybella, but I can't ruin it.

 

 

And yet the thought still runs through my head.

 

 

My only father who loved so much, left me and my mom, for Clarie.

 

And even though Clarie was pregnant with Elle, my dad took that position to be there for them.

 

 

He became's Elle's step-father.

 

And I was left back home wondering why he left.

 

 

But then I met Elle later, in college. We bonded over things and I didn't know the whole time.

 

That the person who I trusted, didn't say anything about it.

 

 

She didn't tell me or even confessed.

 

Elle just kept quiet like it was nothing.

 

 

But little does she know, that the truth is out.

 

And this is what the truth feels like.

 

 

It feels like your heart grew 10 times weaker and your body aches in pain to move again.

 

There's nothing but stinging tears that run down your face and a taste so sour when it reaches your mouth.

 

The truth feels lilke glory, but it doesn't make a change.

 

 

I had just found out, that my step-sister is Elle. And my father is dead.

 

And Clarie along with Elle, are the only people I know who lived long enough to see his lasting days.

 

 

And while I was in Boston, I just kept myself busy to ignore the fact that he wasn't coming back.

 

He's really gone.

 

 

''I didn't even get to say goodbye.'' I finally said.

 

 

I watch Marybella and Mark walk down the aisle, all happy faces.

 

Everyone's still claps, filling the air with cheer.

 

 

But i'm the only one sitting down, not taking part in this.

 

And I have a valid reason why.

 

 

But now my target is on Elle. I don't know what i'm going to tell her.

 

I don't know how she's going to react when I say, i'm your big sister.

 

  

My eyes shift to Elle who's still up at the alter.

 

 

I couldn't stop looking at her, looking at her with disgust.

 

It's all her fault.

 

 

''I didn't even get to say goodbye.'' I said sternly towards her.

 

I was mad, but I had to keep calm.

 

 

And I couldn't do that here.

 

 

I get up as everyone begins to exit the scenary outside.

 

It was time for the after party. But I decided, now's not the time to show my face there.

 

 

Especially in front of Elle, it'll make things worse.

 

And I don't want to do any damage towards her.

 

She's done enough.

 

 

I exit as quick as I can, and i'm called out.

 

 

''Nicki.'' Clarie calls out to me.

 

I turn back to her as I focused my mind on just leaving.

 

 

''You're not my mother.'' I implied to her.

 

 

And I left, just like that. I covered my mouth trying to stop the sobs.

 

But the truth was, it felt as if I was punched in the stomach.

 

 

Like the 7th circle of hell finally let me into the picture.

 

This was not the place I needed to be right now.

 

 

I have suffered enough just to find my Dad. And now I find out, he's Elle's dad too.

 

But he was my dad first.

 

 

And I deserved those answers Clarie told me.

 

And I need it from Elle too.

 

-- 

 

Elle's P.O.V

 

 

I watched as Mark and Marybella crush their nosees together and continue to kiss.

 

''Aww, sickening.'' Rikki says playfully.

 

 

We watched from tables away, as they continued to gloat on getting married.

 

And they've been doing that all night.

 

 

''How can one couple,...be so obssesed with marriage. I mean, it doesn't make sense.'' Rikki complains to me.

 

 

 

Marybella and Mark had arranged for a long table for themselves and Taylor. While the rest of us got round tables and service.

 

 

I admit, we should have sat with them at the fancy long table. But it's Bella's wedding day, and she gets what her little heart desires.

 

 

''But at least we get a round table" I say.

 

"That says, reserved.'' Rikki implied.

 

 

I pick up my glass full of water and point to the vase of flowers in the middle of our round table.

 

The word reserved was designed and written on it in gold.

 

 

''Yeah, at least we have that.'' I say.

 

''Don't be mad, on our wedding day we'll have better sevice than this.'' Chris says to Rikki.

 

 

Instantly, Rikki smiles. Then it's a full on makeout session for the both of them.

 

I look away before they even kiss again.

 

 

''They make me sick.'' I said to Jacob.

 

I lean into him so he can hear me.

 

Then my finger points to Rikki and Chris as they continue to make out.

 

 

Jacob gives a look then turns back to me.

 

''Me too.'' he says.

 

 

I smiled and piled my hands into his. Then our attention is brought back to the dance floor ahead of us.

 

 

''Alright, alright. Now it's officially time for a wedding tradition by Marybella herself.'' says a man.

 

''In honor of my russian background.'' she yells to him.

 

 

''I couldn't get the exact instructions on this. But from what I managed to get, we need all the couples to come to the dance floor and spread out. Yes, everyone who has a special someone. Please come up.'' the guy says.

 

 

Jacob turns to me.

 

''Should we, or maybe not since you're pregnant-'' he says.

 

 

I turn back to the dance floor.

 

I hadn't been that long since i've been to a wedding. And at 4 months, I needed to have little fun.

 

 

I slowly turn and smiled back to Jacob.

 

''Let's do it.'' I replied.

 

 

I get up and he helps me. But before we head across, I turn to Rikki.

 

 

''Hey love birds, wanna join?'' I ask her and Chris.

 

They stop kissing for a second and look to the dance floor.

 

 

''Okay.'' Rikki says.

 

 

They smootch one more time before eventually walking behind us.

 

My fingers cling to Jacob's as we take a slow walk.

 

 

The dance floor piled up with plently of couples, and so does Bella with Mark.

 

 

''Now that we have the married couple, Mr. and Mrs. Burisklane, let's begin.'' said the guy from earlier.

 

He grabs the microphone he held and looks down to a paper.

 

 

''History and stuff, blah, blah and blah. We have several balloons blowed up. And we need our couples to balance the balloon between their stomachs as they slow dance to music. Then by every round you get closer and closer till your balloon pops. Then whoever's left without a popped balloon, wins.'' the man says.

 

 

Most smiles go around as the game had began.

 

Me and Jacob are handed a blue balloon as others get their balloons too.

 

 

Jacob holds onto the balloon then looks to my stomach.

 

''So, you think we'll last till the end? You know, before we crush the babies?'' he implies.

 

''Shut up and give me the balloon.'' I replied to him.

 

 

We both smile as others do the same, putting the balloon between each other.

 

My arms cling around to Jacob's shoulder as we began to slow dance. Marybella and Mark were doing just fine out of the corner of my eye.

 

And so was Rikki with Chris.

 

 

''Anything hurts?'' he asks me.

 

''No, i'm fine.'' I reply to him.

 

 

The music stops suddenly as the guy who talked from earlier comes in.

 

''Okay couples, closer.'' he says into the microphone.

 

 

He backs away slowly as the music begins to play again.

 

Me and Jacob tighten the space of the balloon, almost giving it's way out.

 

 

But luckily we held on.

 

 

''So i've been thinking lately, and i'm sorry i've disappeared for most of today. I just wanted to get that out first.'' Jacob interuppts.

 

''What?'' I asked smiling to him.

 

''I've been putting the whole pregnancy thing way to harsh on you and i'm sorry. But to make it up, I...-'' he trails off.

 

 

He takes out a small garment from inside his suit. I'm surprised as we held on to each other.

 

The balloon almost gave out.

 

''I got these.'' he says softly to me.

 

 

I cover my mouth as a silent breath left my mouth. I was in awe of what he held.

 

When I saw what Jacob had brought, it lit up my entire face.

 

 

''You didn't?'' I respond.

 

 

The music begins to stop as we both stood still, looking down at the onesies.

 

''And it says, I heart NY.'' he says.

 

I take it from his hands.

 

 

The grin on Jacob's face was huge, I knew he felt happy that I was happy.

 

''You got this for the babies?'' I asked, turning the onesies back to him.

 

 

 

''Yes, because I knew you'd love em and also to make up for everything else.'' he replies.

 

 

Part of my heart couldn't handle the pools of tears that Iwanted to pour out.

 

But no tears came from my eyes.

 

 

I hugged the garments to my chest as I sniffed the scent. I knew it would cost a whole butt load of money, but it was worth it in the end.

 

 

''Thanks, for doing this.'' I finally replied looking up to him.

 

 

''And we have 3 couples remaining.'' said the announcer, interuppting us.

 

 

I looked over to see Marybella and Mark were still standing, and so were Rikki and Chris.

 

I had forgotten we were playing a game while me and Jacob had small talk.

 

 

''Closer.'' the guy said into the microphone.

 

 

As we did before, me and Jacob push closer as we grip onto each other's clothing.

 

We swayed side to side as we continued on with the music.

 

 

''And I also got this.'' Jacob says, beginning to take something out of his pocket.

 

He places it into his palm as my face lit up again.

 

I took one hand off of his shoulder and covered my mouth.

 

''Since these twins need a mom and dad. We need to be together, forever.'' he replies.

 

 

I looked down at the utterly perfect ring I had ever seen.

 

It may have not been the perfect proposal, but certainly the best I could ask for.

 

''It's perfect.'' I finally replied.

 

 

Jacob and I both smiled as we continued on with the game.

 

It was magically imperfect to have so much love in my life, a sweet gift from Jacob and a heck of night to remember forever.

 

 

Chapter Nineteen: 7/11

  

''Marybella, I need more candy.'' I shouted.

 

''I thought you already got some from one of the caters?'' Bella asked.

 

''I know, but one of them said they loved me and I accidently gave her all my candy back.'' I respond.

 

''It's no wonder you’re pregnant and you act like this.'' Rikki replied.

 

 

 

I laughed as I looked forward. I saw the twins in the back, chasing each other.

 

My smile formed again as I watched them tackle down Taylor and Ben/ Even though Ben was just 1 years old, he wanted to play along with his big sister.

 

Bella disappears out the front door when I turned my attention back.

 

 

''I still can't believe you got a haircut, and after all these years.'' Rikki said.

 

 

I rushed my fingers through my merely bob haircut and strayed through the ends. I was getting used to having shorter hair.

 

''This proves, just how fast the night changes.'' I replied, setting my hands on the island table.

 

 

''Just within a year of having Jake and Kylie, you move into a new house?'' Rikki said, pointing around the kitchen.

 

''It's better if we get a bigger house. The one we used to live in was made just for me and Jacob.'' I say.

 

 

I moved over to the counter where I could get the spoons out for the cake arriving.

 

Rikki disappears into the narrow hallways nearing the front door, waving her engagment ring out for me.

 

 

She bragged and bragged to everyone the day she got engaged, it was just 2 years ago.

 

 

And she shoved it in everyone's face. I smiled as I got back to placing spoons on the table.

 

Bongo is silent surrounding me as he sniffs the island cupboards like he always does.

 

 

I look down to him as I contined taking out more silverware.

 

 

''Order for Mrs. Kensington?'' says a voice.

 

 

I look up from the counter to see the cater at the open 2 way side door. He carries the box with the big cake I ordered.

 

I smiled as I dropped everything and walked over to the side door.

 

Bongo disappears outside through the open 2 way door.

 

 

My hands prop over my stomach as I stroked my belly. It was not easy being pregnant again.

 

Especially just 2 years after the twins were born, what was I thinking?

 

 

The strapless dress I wore, shuffled in every movement I made as I finally reached over in my heels.

 

''Come in this way.'' I replied happily to the cater.

 

 

He comes in with the big box. The celebration would start happening soon and I wanted the ice cream cake to come early for the party.

 

 

I watched as the cater quietly places the box onto the island table. He looks around at the fairly white designed kitchen.

 

I chose a simple color when we moved up here, I figured it wasn't that bad.

 

 

 

''So, where should I set up the rest of the things?'' he asks, towards me.

 

 

''Just out back by the bouncy castle, or better yet-'' I pointed outside.

 

I walked over quickly to the 2 way door where he entered, he follows behind as I point out to where he can set up.

 

''Over there, near the fence. It's better to keep the food within walking distance.'' I respond.

 

 

''Great, i'll get set up.'' he replies, then leaves out the door.

 

 

I hurry over to open the box with the ordered cake.

 

I was a little hungry and wanted a slice, but I knew I had to save it for later.

 

 

Everyone knows how hungry a pregnant woman can get.

 

I resist the urge and grab a nearby fork I had picked out by mistake. I looked down at the sealed package of the cake.

 

It looked delicious.

 

 

But I had to keep my mouth shut, I couldn't risk my reaction afterwards.

 

 

''Hey Elle.'' Rita says, as she comes in from the side door.

 

 

She entered with a box full of kitchen utensils. She brought her's over in exchange to be invited to the party.

 

Rita was cheeky and marvelous.

 

 

 

''Do you know where Rikki went? I've been searching for her.'' Rita says fast, walking over to me.

 

 

''Um, you know what. Rikki just left out of nowhere, just like that.'' I said to her.

 

''Oh, I bet she's freaking out.'' Rita replies.

 

''Don't worry, i'll tell her when she comes back that you asked for her.'' I replied, holding onto Rita's arm.

 

 

I led her out of the kitchen towards the 2 way door as she disappeared into the backyard. And I watched as she took over looking out for the kids.

 

I closed the doors once she's offcially out of sight.

 

 

Marybella's kids were all nice. And my twins, were acting just as they should.

 

That made a spontaneous smile form on my face again.

 

 

I walked back over to where the ice cream cake was. Bella would come by in a few minutes to help me put it in the freezer, until then I had to relax.

 

 

My next baby was ready to pop any day from now, and I was surprised just days ago when I realized the baby could be here soon.

 

 

I'm just glad it's not another set of twins. Kylie and Jake were a hassle to take care of. But also, it didn't seem too hard to handle.

 

 

And when I saw them walk down that aisle during our wedding, I couldn't believe how happy I was to have those 2.

 

I dearly loved them.

 

 

I realized I was still standing and hovering over the island table. I walked over slowly to the nearby chairs surrounding the dining table.

 

 

 

I groaned as I sat down, my back was hurting all day.

 

All thanks to this one baby. But soon it'll be over.

 

And no more kids.

 

 

I laughed at my thoughts as I closed my eyes. I needed just a moment to rest before people started coming over.

 

Just as I took silent breaths, soft plops entered into the kitchen.

 

 

I snap my eyes open to where the side door was leading to the backyard.

 

 

I looked puzzled at the distant figure before the person opened the doors, I saw Nicki come into the picture.

 

She smiles as she's enters. It was nice to see her face again.

 

 

Even after some long years, it was about time she visited again.

 

I ease my hand up to grab on to another dining chair, but Nicki stops me.

 

 

''Don't hurt yourself getting up, it's fine just sit.'' she says happily.

 

I sigh for a second as I adjust myself comfortably in the hard wood chairs.

 

 

 

''So, what brings you by?'' I asked, pulling a piece of my hair back.

 

''I wanted to talk about something serious.'' Nicki says.

 

 

"Oh?" I respond.

 

She approaches the dining table, but Nicki doesn't sit. 

 

She's silent and doesn't speak for a second.

 

 

My expression grew cold as I searched her eyes.

 

''You got bangs.'' I said breaking the silence.

 

 

She smiles and strays her fingers through the long pieces of hair she had.

 

"Feathered bangs. To be more exact, side bangs." she says.

 

It definitely made her look a lot better.

 

 

And her hairstyle altered the look of professionalism.

 

 

''There's something i've been meaning to tell you, for years now.'' Nicki says.

 

 

We stayed in silence in the kitchen as the conversation started.

 

''What is it?'' I asked her.

 

''You.'' she says flat out.

 

 

It became very eery in the silence, nothing seemed right after Nicki said those words.

 

Her words put a spell on me and I couldn't break it.

 

 

''I know what you did, last summer.'' she said.

 

Her head streches to the side as she smiles a bit.

 

 

''What did I do?'' I asked her, as I got up.

 

 

I walked over to the island of the kitchen and placed my hand on the counter.

 

I waited for Nicki to answer again.

 

 

''I know you went back to Rosewood, visited your old home...and my father's grave.'' Nicki says.

 

 

My screw together, then lift up to her with confusion. She had gotten part of what I did last summer right.

 

But the other half seemed to intertwine with something else.

 

 

''Your father?'' I asked.

 

I was amused by the shock in my voice, it came out differently than I thought.

 

 

''Yes, remember that day we met? Right before you made the choice to go home to Paris?'' Nicki says.

 

''Yeah.'' I said without hesitation.

 

 

I was beginning to think that Nicki was crazy, how she remembered most of these things I had forgotten.

 

 

''September 12th,...the day your father was pronounced dead when you fled the country. And also the day, my dad didn't send me a postcard I had been waiting to get for months.'' Nicki says.

 

 

Her long fingernails circle the granite countertop as she neared me and slowed her pace.

 

''It's coincidence how some peoeple share a very strange trauamatizing day together.'' she replied, softly.

 

''What are you talking about Nicki?'' I said angrily.

 

 

''I'm saying we have the same father!!'' she finally confessed.

 

I didn't phase it for a second, it was like a blunt hit into the air and missed me.

 

I saw the devil in Nicki's eyes, something boiling inside.

 

 

But in those previous words she said, it did make sense.

 

 

September 12th was the day I left. The day she told me to stop fighting the power and to go to Paris. 

 

That day, when I saw the faith in my dad's eyes and I took away that light that meant so much to me.

 

 

And Nicki thinks it's a coincidence that we have to same dad. But she actually might be wrong.

 

 

''Let me take you back into the past, so you can see how we started this little friendship in college.'' she stated.

 

 

I hadn't spoken for a second, all I could focus on was the ground. So mesmorizing, soft like snow.

 

Nothing like it, and yet i'm brought back as usual.

 

 

''Henry, well let's be real now...our dad. Used to be married to my mother, Josaline. They were both in love, I was their only daugther at the time. Until I found out later....that I had a step sister.'' Nicki started.

 

 

She follows her words around the the counter, Nicki doesn't make eye contact with me.

 

I haven't spoken or interuppted her yet.

 

I just listen. There was no need for commotion or drama.

 

 

Nicki needed her story told and it involved me.

 

 

She needs this right now, I can feel it.

 

 

''I didn't believe my mom,...a step sister? How can she be so stupid? But then that's when my dad left. Our dad left that he told my mom about falling in love with a fashion designer in New York City, Claire.'' she says.

 

 

My eyes finally shift over to look into her's. She had hit a rough spot talking about my mom.

 

I grew a little angry but I pushed it down.

 

There was no need to fight right now, all I have to do, was listen.

 

 

 

''Henry got into a fight with my mom, he left and was on his way to take care of Claire. And you, Eleven.'' she says flat out.

 

 

I had fully turned my body over to her, depise that I was 9 months pregnant. I put all my might into giving Nicki what was coming for her.

 

There was no use in fighting or even giving ugly stares.

 

But Nicki somehow found out more about my life then I remembered.

 

 

''Eleven, was a nickname my mom gave to me when I was younger.'' I stated towards her.

 

Nicki stands still, pursing her lips to me.

 

 

She thinks this is just fun and games, pushing my buttons in hopes i'll just yell back and fight her.

 

But I know better than that.

 

 

''My own mother, told me, Eleven was the name of my step sister. I didn't believe her either at that time, so I went on with life in Boston. Me and mom, rented most of our house for foster kids. We stayed on the upper floor and I spent most of my years depressed that our dad left me.'' she says softly.

 

''He did what he had to do.'' I finally respond.

 

 

''But it isn't right, he needed to stay with his own daughter. His real daugther.'' Nicki shouts back.

 

''You keep forgetting, i'm his daughter too. He sacrificed so much to make my life the best that it could be, and here you are complaining about it.'' I shot back.

 

 

My voice rings in the air as my last word came out angry and loud.

 

''You also keep forgetting....that he's my dad too. So that's both of us.'' she responds.

 

 

I lick my lips as I tried to maintain heavy breathing, I felt my chest close up and my stomach grow in pain.

 

But I ignored it, I didn't need my body aches to stop me right now.

 

 

''He sent postcards to make up for the lost time, it was going on for years. He didn't tell Claire, but he did tell you. He said it was for a special someone he loved dearly. He never said that it was me.'' Nicki continues.

 

''So what do you mean?'' I shot back.

 

''Nothing, there's nothing anymore. But it still ties the keys to when we met in college...we had no idea. That we had been connected to each other's lives for so long, and yet we were strangers.'' Nicki replied.

 

 

The awful pain I felt in my stomach came back again, this time a little stronger.

 

It was as if my body was reacting to the news.

 

Nicki was right on something, and I never knew the other side of the story.

 

 

I knew that dad kept sending postcards to someone he loved, but I never gussed who it was. 

 

And she somehow got in the way of my parent's happiness.

 

 

''So we went on our way, getting to know each other. Long gone, step sisters. Not a clue at all.'' she continues.

 

 

I turned from Nicki and ducked my head down as I tried to avoid her words. The pain from within me continued.

 

I flinched as it passed through.

 

It was awful, I tried to stop myself from crying.

 

 

I opened my eyes finally once it was over. My mind focuses back on my last thoughts.

 

When I snuck into's mom's fashion show. And when I saw the shock in her eyes.

 

 

I saw the lady that dad was with, on that floor, just levels above where I watched mom.

 

I knew the truth, and I didn't tell mom even after she got into a fight with me back in Paris.

 

 

That was when it began. And now that i'm older, i'm realizing too much.

 

Dad was with her that time, he cheated on mom. Mom found out and blamed me because she couldn't handle the truth.

 

And I witnessed it all.

 

 

''You see?'' Nicki says, bringing me from my thoughts.

 

''I told you to go back to Paris, it was your dream. You kept bragging and nagging about it to me and even after I continued to nod my head, smile and listened. Inside, I was screaming my head off for you to stop!!'' she shouted.

 

 

Her voice rings in my ears again as I tried to focus on her words.

 

The pain in my stomach grew again as I clinged onto the countertop and closed my eyes tight.

 

 

''And then you left, which was a relief. But I never got to tell you about my story, how I found my way to Rosewood.'' she finally says softly.

 

''How?'' I managed to say.

 

 

I clentched to my stomach as I tried to numb the pain and focus on Nicki's words.

 

 

''The postcards, it was always the postcards. They were the key and the essential thing to finding our dad. And when I finally arrived to Rosewood, I was to scared to face him.'' she said.

 

 

I slowly began crying as the pain eased it's way out of me again, it was non-stop.

 

I was beginning to think my body may have an effect on our conversation.

 

Nicki's words were blinding and everything goes blank when she talks.

 

 

''So in that time when I would finally worked up the courage to tell him, I went to college there.'' Nicki says.

 

''It was her.'' I said coldly.

 

 

 Nicki is silent as she listens to me. I turn forcefully back to her again.

 

''Your mother, Josaline. It was her, the woman my mom saw, with my dad. That night when it happened, the paris treaty,...she blamed me for years. I was depressed too, for years because of your mom!'' I shot back.

 

 

Nicki backs up from where she's standing just near the 2 way doors, she seemed a little scared as my voice trembled at my words.

 

 

''It was your mom's fault why my life turned upside down, she ruined most of what my parents had. She kept coming back to take my dad away and my mom suffered because of you!!'' I said.

 

 

I starting pointing my fingers to her and my hair flew over my face and eyes. Nicki slowly starts to rebuild her confidence again.

 

Her smile returns as I held onto my stomach, I continued to rub it as I waited for Nicki's answer.

 

 

''You're right, she did go to Paris to try and rip what your mom and dad had. And I enjoyed every minute of it when my mom told me everything.'' Nicki says.

 

 

There was freakish laughter that left her mouth when she finished. I was beginning to see the monster in front of me all this time.

 

And I didn't know it was messed up, what I had.

 

 

My dad, left Nicki and her mother. To be with my mom, and to take care of me.

 

And he saw Josaline, Nicki's mom, behind mom's back.

 

 

Dad cheated, he grew pale and different. But I still loved him anyways, no matter what he did after which was awful.

 

''You and your mother are disgusting for what you made my dad do, you made him the man my mom hated for years.'' I managed to respond.

 

 

Nicki crosses her arms over her chest and smiles.

 

''Revenge, so sweet isn't it?'' she says.

 

 

 

She finally works up the courage to walk over to where I was. She stands near and bends down to my left ear.

 

While she did that, I ducked back turning away from her.

 

''How does that feel?'' she says.

 

 

I didn't respond for a second, my mind was still caught up in the past.

 

After what my dad did, mom went to rehab. She fixed herself up and filed for a divorce, all while Dad was still living under our roof.

 

 

And those postcards, he'd send. I figured it out years ago, it was to a girl.

 

Just around my age.

 

That girl was Nicki. And I never knew how close he was to her, until now.

 

 

''Everything that happened, everything that made your parents break up and made our dad lose focus on you guys. It was my mother's plan, to get him back.'' Nicki said softly into my ear.

 

 

I was sick of what she said, I stared at her as she walks over to the 2 way doors leading outside.

 

She turns around before opening one of the doors.

 

 

My mind was still on my thoughts as I had my head ducked down again.

 

 

The paris treaty, the fight with my mom before everything else fell into place.

 

College, how I didn't realize how close me and Nicki were.

 

 

Everything. 

 

It was her fault, because of revenge.

 

And I suffered because of her sick mind and twisted family drama.

 

 

But I don't regret it much, just the parts that were kept secret. The lies and secrets she never told me.

 

And i'm not even mad at my mom, she did what she had to do.

 

 

I don't blame her, i'm just upset that I knew the truth and she didn't.

 

And now, Nicki...she'll always know the real reason why.

 

 

 

As I lifted my head up, Nicki was clear out of my house.

 

I was speechless as I tried to lift myself up again.

 

 

I squeezed my eyes shut again as the pulsing pain came back to my stomach. I realized this was something more serious than just a reaction.

 

 

More than just my body talking, it was telling me something.

 

I felt my dress getting tight as I tried to breath, and then it happened.

 

 

That moment I was expecting, it came pouring down and my eyes lifted up.

 

It was impossibly crazy to think about, but it comes when it comes.

 

 

 

The front door opens as Marybella comes in. My eyes shift to her as I tried to keep myself up on the counter.

 

Her hair flows in as I tried to recognize her, it was unsual even after a year to see Marybella without her famous pin up bun hairstyle.

 

 

She had left her brown hair down and watched it grow as she started shifting her wardrobe from pink to white.

 

But she still wears pink on occasion.

 

 

Bella flips through the mail from outside, she looks up to me with a little surprise.

 

I'm still mesmorized by her appearance that I don't notice she's clear across the kitchen to where I stood, leaning on the island counter.

 

 

''Elle why is there a puddle underneath you?'' she asks.

 

She looks down morbidly at the mess of what's left from me. My heels quivered a little as I regained my stance again.

 

Bella was concerned as I stare at the front door, with my motionless body.

 

 

''Elle?'' she finally interuppts me.

 

''It's time.'' I replied softly.

 

Chapter Twenty: Coming Down

 

The blinding lights up ahead were too bright for me to see.

 

I shield my eyes as my ears finally open up again.

 

I was being rushed through the hospital floors as I felt the pain kick back in. I screamed as I tried to gain control of myself.

 

 

But the pain was horrible, ripping through me like waterfalls.

 

I held onto Marybella's hand and she lightly yelled in pain when I squeezed it

 

 

I never realized how hard this actually was, giving birth.

 

But this time it was just one baby.

 

 

Finally, I reached my room as they doctors pin me up to certain machines and Marybella is left staring at me from a distance.

 

I could see in her eyes, she was scared for me.

 

The last time she was in a hospital room was when I was giving birth to my twins. She fainted and had to be carried out.

 

 

 

But I still know she gets a little anxious and scared since the last time she was in the hosptial.

 

Bella thought she had died back then, but didn't.

 

I still have faith that she won't be scared for me. Hopefully I won't see the light like how she told me.

 

 

I had to admit, I was still scared for this moment.

 

 

The contractions were slowly going away, I relaxed as I brought my head back to the pillow underneath my neck.

 

I didn't like the idea of getting a shot in my back to stop the contractions. So I eased through it like a solider and let it drift past me.

 

 

''Jacob's on his way, and so are the others.'' Marybella says.

 

She turns her phone off as and sets her arms down to her side and she watched me. Silently breathing while she stands just a few feet away from the door.

 

''It's okay.'' I replied softly to her.

 

 

Bella lifted her right hand to her mouth, she began sobbing as I felt the tension grow between us.

 

The sweat from my forehead fell down as I tried to cover the tears falling down from my face earlier.

 

 

''Bella, it's okay.'' I reassured her through her sobs.

 

 

Marybella bursts into tears as she makes her way to the floor. She sits on her legs as she tried to cover the loud cries escaping her mouth.

 

She still kept her mouth covered as I watched her shake and sob constantly.

 

I cried too as I tried to look away.

 

 

It was just hard for her to understand, she had been traumatized since.

 

But I needed her to come back to me again. She needs to know that i'll always be here.

 

 

''Please.'' I said softly.

 

 

I don't even know if she heard me, but something tells me she had. Marybella had finally got up and decided to face her fear and come to me.

 

 

And when I turned, she merely stood up. She was still crying softly.

 

Tears escape my eyes as I continued to watch her quiet down.

 

 

There was something about that sight I knew would come once in a while.

 

Seeing Marybella this way, was nothing anyone could think about.

 

 

She was tired and anxious for things to go the right way.

 

But she needs to believefor herself

 

 

I swallow what's left of my sobs and looked down to my hospital gown.

 

I slowly raised my right hand to touch my stomach as the pins and needles stuck in my skin move with me.

 

 

I began rubbing my stomach, thinking of the possibilities as my nose drips from what I didn't let out from my previous crying.

 

''Do it, for her.'' I said barely audible.

 

 

In that instant, Bella lifts her head up. Her cries stopped as she slowly began to stand up.

 

I didn't see it at first, but when Marybella slowly started approaching me, her hair lifted up.

 

 

She had it pulled up into the old style she used to wear all the time. The same pin up with a bun.

 

I saw the old Marybella again, and it made me motionless.

 

 

But it went away as the romantic bubble I had invisioned, flew away.

 

My tears cleared and I saw the same girl I knew before.

 

 

''Her?'' she managed to say.

 

Her voice broke a little, but I could still hear.

 

I finally smiled as my lips part and the dry cracks from them form a line.

 

 

''Yes, it's girl.'' I said silently.

 

I watch her brush her hair behind an ear. She bends down to sit in a chair to my left as I watched her face light up.

 

''I can't believe you're having a girl.'' she said, audible this time.

 

 

She smiled widely as she bent her head down to my arm resting just below her. She began to sob again as I stayed silent watching her.

 

''I wanted it to be a surprise, like how I waited for Kylie and Jake. But I couldn't resist, so I scheduled an appointment with my doctor and...'' I started.

 

''It's a girl!'' Marybella said excidedly.

 

 

She finally stopped sobbing and faced me with her eyes resembling a swollen look as tears went past them and down her cheeks.

 

''Oh Bella.'' I said silently.

 

 

My left hand grazes her left cheek as her last tears fell down. I wiped them away.

 

I finally had her in the hospital room again and this time she was not all that scared.

 

 

But part of me sensed she would be later.

 

 

Seconds pass by as our heads turn to my doctor entering into the room.

 

''Okay, Mrs. Kensigton i'm on a quick schedule. Let's get ready to push that baby out.'' he says.

 

 

His last words boom into the room as me and Bella turn from him to each other.

 

''Here we go.'' she says smiling down at me.

 

''Here we go.'' I replied softly.

 

 

 

Already it had been an hour of labor and I couldn't breath. The pressure was way too much, and I was sweating like crazy.

 

But the proud looks on everyone's faces were good enough to focus on.

 

 

I could see the slight horror in Jacob's face. He knew that it was scary before.

 

I could feel myself smiling a little as the pain eased away.

 

 

''Elle you have to push, come on.'' says the doctor.

 

Tears slowly fell from my face as I lifted my head back up. I was staring at the ceiling.

 

 

Everyone was ahead of me, watching the process happen.

 

It was just like before, and I needed to do it again.

 

 

I need to push and get it over with.

 

 

''Come on, you can do it.'' Rikki says, her voice surrounds my ears.

 

 

She huddled with the others just around the doctor. I knew they would not be in the room for too long.

 

Too many people can make it challenging to give birth.

 

But I had faith in them, they were here before and always will be.

 

 

I lifted my head up again and faced the doctor with sweat dripping down from my forehead. I stared completely through his glasses and into his eyes.

 

''Push Elle.'' he says calmly.

 

 

''Come on, just like before!'' Marybella said behind him.

 

I looked over to Jacob and everyone else cheering me on.

 

 

All I had to do was push, and then I would get my baby.

 

I held onto Jacob's arm and clutched really hard as I began the biggest push I could manage.

 

 

Over and over again, several times as I ran out of breath.

 

It was exhausting, taking forever.

 

 

And at the last moment when I thought of giving up, my mind went blank.

 

Everyone in the room disappeared. I finally stopped crying as pain went away again.

 

Everything was white, a canvas with nothing on it.

 

 

 

I thought I had blacked out because the baby was here, but then I realized that I was somewhere else.

 

I took my arms and wrapped them around my stomach, before I even looked ahead I saw my feet.

 

 

I was standing, in a white abyss of nothing. My hosptial gown was still clinged to me when I noticed.

 

I looked around. As the only source of light was above.

 

I heard voices, muffled, yelling. Surrounding my ears.

 

 

 

I turned around continuously as I began to feel anxious, I didn't know where I was.

 

I was scared.

 

 

''Elle.'' says a voice.

 

 

I slowly turn around to my dismay, someone I hadn't recognized or talked to.

 

It was unbelievable,...he was standing there.

 

 

My lips trembled for a bit as I covered my mouth. There was no feeling or pain.

 

Just pure happiness as I covered my mouth.

 

 

''Dad.'' I manage to say.

 

He smiles just from a distance, I looked around at the white blank abyss.

 

In all this blank space, I could see him with color and presence.

 

 

Like he was here all along. Waiting for me to see him.

 

 

''Elle, you gotta push.'' he says.

 

 

I couldn't speak another word, I was still kind of shocked that I was witnessing him.

 

In that same dark green sweater I had bought him years ago, he died in it.

 

 

And he's here, in front of me. Wearing it and the wound from the knife was visible.

 

He was physically here.

 

 

 

He approaches closer, I back up a little.

 

I couldn't believe my eyes. Was this a dream or a trick, I didn't know.

 

 

''Push Elle.'' he says again.

 

His voice fills my ears as I close my eyes. I was nice to be able to see and hear him again.

 

My eyes open again as tears began to fall down.

 

 

''I'm so sorry, I never got to say goodbye.'' I finally said.

 

Honestly, if this was my last moment being able to see my dad, I needed to get those words out.

 

He needed to know.

 

 

 

''It's okay.'' he says softly.

 

He's just ahead of me, but in just seconds he's right in front of me.

 

His eyes peer into mine as I saw the doughy figure of his face.

 

 

''I miss you.'' I managed to say.

 

''Push.'' he says.

 

 

My mind was caught up in his presence, that I didn't even notice how long we've been standing.

 

He kept saying push, but I didn't get it.

 

 

I looked around aware of my surroundings, it finally hit me.

 

I might have been dead for a second, or I was experiencing a hallucination.

 

 

''Dad, where am I?'' I asked him, concerned.

 

I looked around at the blank white space surrounding, I was beginning to see everything now.

 

I backed up from him as his face dropped from a happy expression.

 

 

''Push Elle.''

 

''What?'' I asked again.

 

 

My voice was cracking as I heard my last words. I was now worrying what I got myself into.

 

Am I dead? Or am I hallucinating?

 

''Push.'' he says again.

 

 

I looked over to where he stood as he descends back to where he stood earlier. My eyes shift around as I begin to notice myself withering away.

 

''Push Elle.'' he says, again.

 

 

He voice vibrates as my eyes widened in shock, he was disappearing.

 

 

''Don't go.'' I said barely audible.

 

''Goodbye.'' he finally says.

 

 

He was officially gone this time, and I was descending down somewhere.

 

I didn't know where or when it started.

 

But I was going away, and he was too.

 

 

''Dad!'' I called out for him.

 

 

The voices from earlier weren't silent anymore, they were clear and I recognized them.

 

It was everyone in the room where I was giving birth, I could hear them.

 

 

''Bye.'' I finally said.

 

I waved my hand up to the last spot where he was turning transparent. It was the last time I would see him and probably my last goodbye.

 

  

Then my eyes shot open, as I looked around. Everyone was silent.

 

I saw everyone look in awe.

 

''Push Elle.'' Jacob said, near me.

 

 

I turned to him a little too quickly. I had heard his voice, but not clearly.

 

My thoughts are back as I tried to focus on what's happening.

 

 

I was back in the same place, giving birth and everyone was waiting.

 

Dad's last words ring in my ears as I tried to remember what he said.

 

 

And after that, I started pushing again.

 

With force, and with everything I could get in those last words.

 

 

I didn't care if it was a dream, a hallucination or even just me dying for a second.

 

I was back and with little more ambitious than before for this birth.

 

 

There was something about the previous moment when I blacked out.

 

That blank space, and those words.

 

It was all down to me.

 

 

I had to do it and it was for my last goodbye to Dad.

 

It was my time to finally realize what everything was again.

 

 

''Come on, one more push. She's almost here.'' the doctor said.

 

I held onto to Jacob's arms as I watched everyone wait in anticipation.

 

 

''This one's for you dad.'' I say.

 

I took a one last push and with all the strength I had.

 

And everything had come down.

 

--

  

My smiles perks up as my finger play around with her's. She was silent but also very loud.

 

Dressed in pink with silent cries.

 

 

She was perfect.

 

The door to the bedroom opens as I see Jacob enter in.

 

He leans on the door with a slight smile as I turn back to her.

 

 

''How's the crybaby?'' he asks.

 

''She's fine, sleeping...thank god.'' I replied.

 

 

I lifted my body up as I sat up on the bed. The black sweater I had on clung to my arms as I began to stretch.

 

Strands of hair fall down onto my forehead as my messy bun piled over my head.

 

 

''Tired?'' he asks.

 

''Ever since she got home.'' I replied, pointing my head to her sleeping.

 

''You've been up here all afternoon, go down and relax. I'll watch after Galleria.'' Jacob says.

 

 

''Really? You don't mind me taking an hour long break?'' I replied, getting up.

 

I finished one last strech before setting my feet down.

 

The grey fabric of my pants flowed down to the floor.

 

 

''Take all the time you need.'' he says, walking over to me.

 

When he passes, his hands grip my waist as he plants a kiss to my cheek.

 

 

I smile for a second as I shuffled out of the room and Jacob took my spot on the bed.

 

 

Each foot steps over each other as I went fast downstairs. I could hear the distant talking of Jake and Kylie on the couch.

 

And also the silent barks of Bongo. But he was too busy to notice that I came down.

 

''Mom's awake.'' I said aloud to them.

 

 

They stand up on the couch to get a good look at me, smiles on their faces as I pass by the living room.

 

''Is she asleep?'' Kylie asks towards me.

 

 

I stop halfway, nearing the kitchen to the left where she sat on the couch.

 

''Yes.'' I replied.

 

''Did you get enough sleep?'' Jake asks.

 

 

I smiled as I finally approached the both of them. They silently slow their way down to sitting comfortably on the couch again once i'm leaning against the back of it.

 

 

''Are you two behaving?'' I asked them, in a tone.

 

They nod their heads as I smile.

 

They were good kids and I knew it would be hard for them to get used to having another kid in the house.

 

 

But I think it would be a good thing. And it could give them practice on getting used to Galleria.

 

 

''Are we gonna get another sister?'' Kylie asks, looking up at me.

  

''No,...'' I replied silently.

 

 

I leaned down to where she sits quiet and I plant a kiss on her forehead.

 

Her soft skin flys over the graze of my fingers on her cheek.

 

It was just beautiful how they resembled so much of me, and how amazing they were.

 

 

''No more kids, you guys and Galleria-'' I said pointing upstairs.

 

''Are just enough, so no more siblings.'' I replied.

 

 

Kylie and Jake exchange smiles then look back up to me again.

 

I took in a deep breath as I head for the kitchen.

 

 

Bongo gets up and trails behind me. He loved following me to the kitchen.

 

It was where he could watch me eat breakfast, which was his favorite part of the day. Hoping to get a bit of bacon soon.

 

Not happening anytime yet.

 

 

I could smell the sweet roast of coffee flowing in the air. Even though I banned myself from coffee, Jacob still puts it out for me to smell.

 

And tt's so sweet that he'd do for his enjoyment and mine.

 

 

 

Just before reaching the open pathway to the kitchen, I hear a knock at the door.

 

I turn back as I look back.

 

''Who's that?'' Kylie asks towards me.

 

 

''I don't know? I didn't expect anyone today.'' I replied to her.

 

I walk past them in the living room, while the tv panned in transition.

 

I make my way to the door.

 

 

Marybella and Rikki have concern in their eyes as soon as I opened the door. I looked at both of them to ask what's going on,...when everything ahead of us made sense.

 

''Elle.'' Bella said,, unearthly.

 

 

 

She steps aside so I can see the full view of sirens and flashing lights just near the street.

 

From a distance I could see her.

 

Her devious smiled looped around my brain as I looked back at her stern.

 

 

I knew someday she would do this, but not now.

 

But I have to take it, i've done it before. I can do it again.

 

 

I had this coming to me and now I have to survive it again.

 

 

''Elle what's going on?'' Jacob asks, coming to the front door.

 

My eyes almost didn't blink for a second as the terrible pit feeling returned. But I pushed it down and swallowed my pride.

 

I had to pay for what I did, and she knew it.

 

 

''Jacob, keep the kids inside. Take care of them and make sure to give them all my love.'' I replied to him.

 

 

I turned around to give him one last look, he's holding Galleria in his arms.

 

She's silent, sleeping as usual.

 

 

I would miss her, and I would not be around to see her from this point in life.

 

But I will be back.

 

 

I step up to where he his. I look at my baby one more time and I plant a kiss on her sweet chubby cheek.

 

I look up to Jacob in the eyes, he's concerned and scared but he knew he'd listen to my words.

 

''Take care of them.'' I finally said.

 

 

I caressed the back of his neck, then I leaned in to give him one last kiss.

 

And just like that, they were coming. Their work was ready and I had to play with them.

 

 

But I refused to let myself run and escape again, I had to face it once again.

 

''Elle, what are we gonna do? You can't leave again!'' Marybella said to me.

 

 

She interuppted my thoughts as I stared down the squad of men approaching me, walking up the pathway.

 

 

''Don't worry i'll be back.'' I replied to her.

 

Rikki didn't say another word, she's silent and clinging to Marybella.

 

Mark and Chris weren't here, but that didn't matter.

 

 

I do what I have to do. And that's what they'll have to accept from now on.

 

 

''Why is this happening all over again, and why is she coming for you?'' Rikki, finally manages to say.

 

I heard the crack in her voice as I stared at the pathway up ahead, they were getting closer.

 

 

''I don't know anymore.'' I finally replied.

 

 

The squad of men in big windbreaker jackets and hats finally steps up to me.

 

I took in deep breaths as I prepared for their words.

 

 

''Elle Woods?'' said one man, with paper work.

 

''Yes?'' I replied with pity.

 

 

Before they can say anything, they take it out as I suspected.

 

Each reflection paying a price to my eyes and what I got myself into.

 

My eyes look up at her across the street, she's staring me down and I stare back.

 

Some people, can't hold a grudge for long.

 

 

 

And some aren't what they seem to be. Looks can be deceiving.

 

But forever is never, at least in her world.

 

 

''Why can't she just let this go?'' Marybella finally interuppts.

 

 

I prepare my hands for them to be lifted up, and then I speak, probably for the last time.

 

 

''I have to suck it up to that bitch, and her hellish mother.'' I replied bitterly.

 

 

My arms shot up. I knew it wouldn't be a good idea to just leave.

 

But when the consequences kick in, there's no escaping.

 

 

I'm carried away slowly as the men hold on to me. I didn't even fight or bicker.

 

I didn't even get to say goodbye.

 

 

The one thing i'm not good at, saying goodbye.

 

I don't know how long it will be from now.

 

 

But I sure as hell knew what was coming to me, when that drop of water breaks.

 

Everything else falls.

 

 

Just like how it's always been.

 

Chapter Twenty-One: Tied

  

"Ms. Woods, Ms. Woods how does it feel to be out of jail?"

 

"Do you finally get to live with your family again?"

 

"It's been so long since the big murder scandel, how do you feel?"

 

 

 

Those words hung around in my head for a second as I tried to think of an answer.

 

I knew they would not stop, so I had to tell everything.

 

 

And most of it was scary, but some worth telling.

 

 

I answered.

 

 

"Well it started a long time ago, every single bit of my past had to do with how I got here in the first place." I said.

 

I looked to the crowd now, more confident.

 

 

"It was when I was writing a new blog on the metro bus on my way home, on a rainy afternoon. Leaving Rosewood was one of the most uncontrollable feelings i've had. But I did it for my mom, my dad and me. So that I could be on my own and retrace my way back to Paris, which was the last place I ever felt happy.'' I said.

 

 

Most of the people in the crowd looked a little confused.

 

Some just continued to listen as I stayed silent.

 

 

''From leaving home, finding peace-'' I said, looking over to Jacob.

 

 

There's no expression on his face, only a glassy hollow look in his eyes.

 

I turned back to the podium and put on a smile.

 

Inside I was dying.

 

 

But I kept it together.

 

 

''Living off the edge,...working with plenty of desperados.'' I continued.

 

 

Pictures were taken and snaps were constantly going off, yet I continued unaffected.

 

''Friends, along the way. Apathy and denial inbetween.'' I said softly.

 

 

I leaned on the podium as I tried to think of my words, it was hard to say.

 

But I knew in my heart. It was worth the talk.

 

 

''I was gone for 6 years, I served my time before. But I kept moving forward, no matter what happend in those past years. I kept going, it didn't phase me one bit.'' I said prompt.

 

A loud snap from a camer goes off.

 

''My father died, and I went on with life. I got arrested, and I kept going!'' I shouted.

 

 

''I survived, and none of this...makes sense anymore.'' I said with a shaky voice.

 

I reached my arms out, pointing at every inch of the conference room.

 

 

I felt my tears come in as I ducked my head down.

 

''My name is Elle Woods, it's been a while since i've last seen my kids and my husband. The last time I remember seeing all 3 of them was when Galleria was just a newborn and Kyile, Jake,.....my wonderful twins were just 3 years old. Someone I knew filed an arrest warrant against me and I admit, I did attempt threats. But after 6 years in away, I finally realized, that I needed to get my life together. For them." I stated.

 

 

''But I have heart, and I did what I had to do.'' I replied.

 

I looked over to Jacob and my kids. Standing motionless, just watching me.

 

A small smile begins to form in Jacob's face as I looked back to the podium.

 

 

''I know these words i’m saying right now will all be stories someday. And my memories will become old little things.'' I said softly.

 

''We’ll all become somebody’s heart and soul. But right now those moments that I experienced, are not stories. I am here. And i’m looking up ahead. I can see it. That one moment when you know, you’re not a sad story.'' I said aloud.

 

 

The room grew silent as everyone listened.

 

''You are alive.'' I said softly.

 

 

Soft claps went around as I cleared my eyes from the tears I felt. It was enough to say, that my so called story would make it big.

 

That it would change someone's appearance, once and for all.

 

 

Had I not survived those past few years, holding onto the cliff's edge,...I would not be me.

 

 

I stepped off the podium, as the press continued snapping shots of me.

 

Coversations piled back on again as I walk over to a certain press I hadn't recognized.

 

 

''Ms. Woods-'' says a reporter.

 

''Please, I prefer Mrs. Kensington. That's my name.'' I interuppted him.

 

He smiles for a split second, as i'm passed around with questions.

 

 

And just as the long minute of answers filled the room, I felt a soft touch tug on my skirt.

 

I turn around and looked down to Galleria. Her sweet eyes looking back into mine.

 

 

I bent down on my knees as my smile formed again.

 

Even after 6 years away from her, at 5 years old, she never looked better.

 

 

''My baby.'' I whispered softly to her.

 

She bites her bottom lip and rolls into my chest for a hug. I squeeze back tightly after a second.

 

I had long missed her, and I knew what I did before and what I said.

 

 

 

I closed my eyes then opened them as my tears streamed down my face. I saw Jake and Kylie approaching me as the reporter and tabloids dismissed themselves outside.

 

''Mom.'' Jake said.

 

''Come here.'' I replied to him.

 

 

I stuck out my left arm for him to curl up into. He gives in after a second thought and i'm squeezing onto both Galleria and Jake.

 

''My two sweet babies.'' I said to them softly.

 

 

I planted a kiss on both their heads as I smelled the soft hairs on their heads.

 

It felt right again to have them back in my arms, even after a long distance.

 

 

Kylie is left from the big hug. She's standing beside Jacob, quietly watching me.

 

 

''Baby, won't you join us?'' I asked her willingly.

 

 

She's still for a second, and I thought that she was angry with me. Or even worse, upset after this long time.

 

But she's not, her perfect pinch smile returns.

 

 

A smile I hadn't recognized for years, her grown face and personality before me.

 

8 years old and I already knew what I missed about her.

 

 

She finally gives in as her lips curve into a big dip and overrides her face. She launches herself to me for the hug as a little laughter left my mouth.

 

I was happy to have my kids back in my arms again and this time I wouldn't let go.

 

Not anymore.

 

 

 

As the hugs begin to fade, I finally stood up from crouching on the ground.

 

My legs grew tired. But I pulled myself up.

 

 

I wiped what's left of my tears and make the slow walk over to Jacob.

 

His hair had remained the same over the years.

 

Nothing too big has changed about him, the same boy I had fallen in love with.

 

 

I hugged onto the ends of my sweater where it rings around my wrist.

 

I hadn't thought of what to say to him.

 

Or even just seeing him again, until this fateful day.

 

 

I thought throughout this whole conference, that he must hate me for leaving.

 

Or even just for getting out and miraculously coming back.

 

 

''I knew how much it meant to you....about takig care of our kids and I want to let you know, even after these years,...i'm here all the way. No matter what.'' I finally said.

 

I was unaware of how I said it.

 

 

''Stop thinking.'' he says, finally breaking the silence.

 

 

I lifted my head up to gaze fully into his eyes.

 

I didn't know what he meant by that, but he knew that I was overthinking.

 

''Come here.'' he says softly.

 

 

Not even just a word in from my mouth again, and it meant my answer was complete.

 

Jacob pulls me in for a soft squeeze and our lips collide once again being whole.

 

 

No words could just explain how I wanted everything to go, to fall into place and nothing else.

 

 

Our lips finally part after a breif moment. I pull back with a smile wrapping around my face.

 

My arms are secure and wrapped around his neck as he holds onto to me.

 

 

''Ready to go home, for real this time?'' he asks me.

 

 

I couldn't answer, all I could see was the joy in my eyes and the dancing hearts in his.

 

Everything was one again, and everything felt right.

 

 

I just continued to smile as I searched his eyes, I could feel it in the air.

 

He missed me, and I did too.

 

 

''I'll take that as a yes.'' he finally replies.

 

A small laugh erupts from me as we pull our way out of the conference room.

 

The twins and Galleria follow ahead of us as we exit.

 

 

And after so much, it was safe to say that I was going home, and never leaving.

 

-- 

 

I played around with the key in my right hand as I felt the cool touch fill into my fingers.

 

I swayed it side to side before fully looking at it.

 

 

The plane ride to Rosewood took forever, but we finally made it. And it was time to let it go.

 

I stood silent looking into the crisp weather of the summer into fall.

 

 

As usual, fall came a little early here in Rosewood and it seemed so right.

 

 

''Do you think it's right for me to give it up?'' I asked Jacob.

 

He stands silent for a second to my right.

 

The kids just in front of us, bundled up in jackets.

 

 

''It's time, I think everyone has to say goodbye to their home. Even if it's the first one.'' Jacob said.

 

He pulls his arm around me for a second then brings it back down.

 

I was still debating if this was right or not.

 

 

My home, gone, into the arms and soul of someone else.

 

But it's about time, I had enough bad and good memories in this house.

 

 

 

Like the first time me, dad and mom moved here. The fights, and everything in between.

 

When I went off to college, my first christmas here and when I burned down the tree.

 

 

Or even the time I came back home and everything felt right again.

 

I wished that I had that feeling again. But something that you love dearly, has to be owned again.

 

 

And it's not mine anymore.

 

 

I took a deep sigh as I ducked my head down and continued to look at the key.

 

''I'm ready.'' I replied.

 

 

I looked up to Jacob as I smiled, this was the first time he had seen my home.

 

And for Jake and Kylie and Galleria, this was their first time.

 

But it was my last time.

 

 

''Now that you're ready, here they come.'' Jacob says, pointing ahead.

 

 

An engine roars in from a car approaching us. It's put into park as 3 people get out.

 

A woman, a man and young girl.

 

 

All of them seemed perfect from what I thought, and now they'd take on the house.

 

The woman who I had spoken to before on the phone, approaches me first.

 

 

Her blond hair glides in the gloomy sunlight. She wore all black just as I suspected.

 

Her husband, which I recognized from the photos, stands just in a distance.

 

 

''Is it ready?'' she asks happily.

 

''It's all yours.'' I said holding up the key to her.

 

 

''Thank you so much. We were thinking about Malibu, but we decided to take a vote on it for later and stick around in Georgia.'' the woman says.

 

 

She grabs the keys from my hand as I took a breath, it was officially owned again.

 

This time, I knew it wouldn't be abandoned.

 

 

''Oh, I see you have kids.'' she says, interuppting my thoughts.

 

''Yes, this is Jake, Kylie and Galleria.'' I said.

 

 

I brought them from behind towards the front where I was talkin. The woman waves at them and they respond with "hi's".

 

''Since you've introduced yours, let me introduce Lily.'' she says.

 

 

She points her arm out to the young girl I saw earlier. She leans off the car from where she stood and walks over to her mother.

 

The woman had a big flashing smile as she rested her arms on her daughter's shoulders.

 

''This is my daughter, Lily.'' she replied.

 

''Hi.'' Lily said.

 

 

There was no interest with her, as if she was stuck in her own world. But I didn't mind, I was just glad someone finally gets to take up the space.

 

 

''Well since the ceremony is over, I suggest we get back to New York. I can't wait to go home.'' I announced.

 

''Great, we'll get settled in. And thanks again for the house.'' The woman stated.

 

 

 

Me and Jacob manuver the kids over to the side where our van was. He gets in and starts the car up as the kids enter inside.

 

I look back one more time at the house before getting into the passenger seat.

 

''Hey.'' I yelled out to Lily.

 

 

Her strawberry blonde hair brushes aside as she turns around to me.

 

''Thanks again for the house.'' she says waving to me.

 

''Good luck.'' I replied.

 

 

I finally get into the passenger seat of the van. I was on my way home again.

 

And it was safe to say again, that no matter how many homes you have, tt will always be left behind.

 

 

You keep the memories, the joy and the fun.

 

Family and everyone you hold close.

 

But most importantly.

 

 

Even if the everything falls, you still get up and keep going.

 

 

 -

 

 

Thank you so much for the readers who stuck around for the trilogy, it means it a lot that you took the time to read and also got to experience the book. I hoped you enjoyed, because i enjoyed reading and writing it. ☯ :D

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 31.10.2016

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