My First Book

Hey Guy/Gals,

This is the first book I've ever put online. I would like for the people that read this book to point out my mistakes. Please, I'd appreciate it if you're not so rude about it. You respect me, I'll respect you! You know the saying "treat people how you'd like to be treated?" Well yeah think about that when you're going to write an inappropriate comment. Oh and if you'd like me to read a book let me know. I can only read Spanish and English. ( I love romance and supernatural!) Also, if you spread the word about my book, I'll return the favor.

Another thing, if you see anyone stealing my book let me know please and if you don't like my book, move on to another one. If you have any advice for me - because I'm a newbie -  I will gladly take it! If you recognize any T.V shows, Logos, Stores, Cars, etc. I  don't own them. Hope you enjoy. And remember, if you give respect, you'll receive it! Thanks.

I want to let you know I love it when people tell me what they like and dislike about my story (only when they say it nicely) and I love long feedbacks. So leave me comments and let me know if you liked it. Criticism helps me out. I want to improve my writing and with your support, I know I'll be able to do that (: .. Let me know if you would like me to read one of your stories too. Okay? Well, Goodbye!

 

Also, one last thing:

I changed the title to my book. It was previously called "First Comes Revenge, then Comes Love". It's now called, "HARD LOVE". I did send everyone the reason why; I know some people don't like checking their messages. The reason why is because if you knew me in person, you'd know I hate violence. So it's still all the same, but I feel I focused too much on revenge, not Love. There's still going to be anger and revengeful feelings. The question is, will Jazielly succeed her "mission"? If you have any confusions, questions or comment; feel free to message me! Thanks for your support!!!! (:

 

Sincerely, Mis. Understood!

 

- Prolouge -

- Prolouge - 

 

"I am a little bit of insecure, a little of unconfident 'cause you don't understand I do what I can and sometimes I don't make sense. I am what you never wanna say but I never had the doubt, it's like no matter what I do, I can't convince you for once just to hear me out" - Linkin Park

 

"There she is, that little rat. Get her!" The school's most popular girl Melanie Raposa hollered. She was the school's cheerleading captain and Junior president. She was beautiful but plastic. Fake breast, fake butt, fake lips and fake hair. She was as synthetic as a barbie, actually she looked like a barbie: blonde hair, blue eyes and the body of one.

I ran as fast as I could but I had something called Respiratory Arrest, it is similar to asthma but it's worse, I could stop breathing in any hour, any minute, any second of the day. Running can increase these risk but I'd rather run for my life. After minutes of running around the hallways, I was feeling fatigue and having a hard time breathing. I jogged into the girl's locker room and hid inside the random red, thin and long locker.

"I know she's in here Mel, I saw her run in here," a voice I recognized said. Her name was Samantha Pacheco. She was tall, skinny as a tooth-pick. She had jet black hair that was short, it reached up to her chin. She was not beautiful but she was not ugly either. She was on the girl's soccer team and she was very damn good at it too.

"Find that thing! Now!" You could hear the venom in Melanie's voice.

"Yes Melanie," Samantha and another fimiliar voice said. The other voice belonged to Clarice Souza. She was an average sized girl, her skin color was almost a caramel color and she had dirty blonde hair with brown eyes. She was captain of our school's softball team. Samantha and Clarice followed Melanie everywhere and obeyed her every single command. There two more in her little group but these were the main two.

I heard running, their stomps matched the rythym of my heartbeat. I was panting, looking anywhere and everwhere for a little breeze, a little something... ANYTHING! But not even the little holes that were on the locker was giving me enough oxygen. My hot breath was making the air thick. The stomps were approaching and the click-clacks from Melanie's heels were just a few feet away from the locker I was hiding in.

"You know Jaziel or Jaz-e-elly, whatever you call yourself, it is meaningless anyways."

I can picture her examining the tip of her manicured fingernails.

"You can run, but you can't hide. Remember Jaz-e-elly," she said my name in a curt manner. "I always win, and you always loose. You are worthless, you are a good for nothing."

The click-clacks from her heels were inches away from my locker.

"YOU! "

She was close.

"Are!"

She was in front of my locker.

"A!"

I give up, she caught me. I don't know why I try. I am weak, I am unintenable. I AM A  NOBODY!

"NOBODY!" Melanie yelled.

She opened the locker I was in, grabbed me by my hair and pulled me out. She slapped me across my right cheek causing my head to whip to the side. It stung but it's not like it's something that I cannot handle.

"I am a somebody, the captain of the cheerleading team, the Junior President, the most well-known girl in this school. This school needs me and my money without it they'd be nothing, just like you. I am strong and  I am valuable," she smirked. Then she got so close to my face, and even though she was making my life a living hell, I didn't look down, I looked at her straight into her fierce blue eyes. Her smirk grew wider and then she spit right in my face. The warm liquid made me want to gag and it dripped slowly down my cheek. I stayed quiet, I always did but I listened cautiously to every word she or her friends would say and I'd remember them. I was attentive to every move she or her friends made. 

"Samantha, Clarice, make her suffer," with that, she grinned at me, turned around and walked away.

Why didn't I fight back? It's useless, I'm indefensible. Samantha and Clarice hit me repeatedly in the stomach, I felt every blow. It felt like someone was hammering the inside of my stomach. Every kick took my breath away. All I can think about is how ugly my tummy was going to look tomorrow and how sore I was going to feel. I heard the doors open and few seconds later, the doors closed. The last two girls in Melanie's group appeared, Raine Turner and Victoria Martins.

Raine was the thickest girl out of the four. She had orange-colored hair, freckles decorated all over her nose and cheek. The color of her eyes were a dull green. She looked so innocent but she was the contrary.

Victoria was about five feet five, flat-chested, her butt was as flat as a pancake, too. Her chocolate brown hair reached up to her shoulders and had hazel eyes. She was almost as beautiful as Melanie, if she had more curves.

"Look who we have here," Raine sneered.

I was coughing up blood, my stomach hurt like hell, it felt like it was on fire. The pain was unbearable.

"We need you to hold her down," Clarice said to Raine.

"It'll be my pleasure."

Clarice took hold of my feet and Raine took hold of my hands. Samantha was guarding the doors, while Victoria was straddling me, she took her bagpack off her shoulders, she opened it and took out a pocket knife. My eyes widened. They weren't going to kill me right? I mean, they wouldn't go that far, I thought.

"Shhh Jazielly, we're just going to have some fun," Victoria said putting the knife near my belly. I closed my eyes, but then I opened them. I didn't want to miss anything they did to me. 

Turns out, they were just cutting my shirt and my baggy pants up. After, they threw my clothes in the garbage.

"Not so bad, huh?" Victoria smiled. I gulped.

She then took off my thick glasses off, without them I couldn't see a thing.

"P-pl-please not th-th-the glass-ss-sses," I begged, but it was too late because that's when I heard the glass part of my specs break.

"You know Jazielly, you have beautiful eyes, gorgeous long thick eyelashes and almost golden color eyes, bronze maybe?" she said, tilting her head to the side. I don't know if she was being serious or sarcastic. I didn't cave in though, I was just wondering why she wasn't being so... rough.

"Is she ready?" a deep voice said, sending shivers down my spine and not the good kind. I knew that voice. Matthew McCurdy, it was his voice. No, he wasn't the quarter back, but I'm sure he was somewhere around here. Matthew, also known as, Matt was the running back of the football team. He was also best friend's with the quarter back and very good friends with Melanie. He was the average height of a young adult, lean and muscular with brown and light brown eyes. He had a stubble as if he hadn't shaved in a day or two.

"Yes, you're just in time," Victoria got off of me.

"Great!" He said. He clapped his hands then rubbed them together. I knew what was coming. Even though, I didn't have my glasses, I was absolutely positive that he had that malicious smirk on his face. I knew his eyes were full of lust and poison. And I definitely knew he's been waiting for this moment since that time. I prayed that him and his group wouldn't go all the way, I was begging.. NO! Supplicating that they wouldn't take my complete innocence.

Matt got on top of me and began to kissing me from my lips, to my jaw then to my neck savagely and roughly. His stubbled cheek scratched my skin in the most uncomfortable way anyone can think of. It was disgusting, I felt disgusting! He kissed my shoulder, between my breast, my abdomen, everywhere. Hot, angry tears escaped the corner of my eyes. I squirmed under his body weight, I wanted to dissappear!

"Pl-pease, stop, please!" I cried. They've done an abundance of things but this? This was over the top.

"Why? Don't you like it?" He whispered in my ear. I shook my head, not being able to speak.

"Jason, wanna go next?" Jason Williams was the full back in the football team. He was very handsome, tall, brown hair with grey eyes. But he was an immature, arrogant and disresectful jerk!

"Eh why not?" He responded.

"No please! NO!" I sobbed.

"It's too bad Jaz; that is your name right? Anyways you have a beautiful body, it is ashamed it was wasted on you with your hideous face!" He got off of me and then Jason got on.

Why me? Why did I do to deserve this? Was I really not that good enough that I had to be tortured by them all the time? Why do they torture me? What did I ever do to them? Why was this happening to me? All these question were floating in my mind, over and over and over again. Unknown they will remain.

I felt his chapped hands exploring my body. I weeped, it felt sickening. I have never felt so worthless in my life until this moment.

"Please, please stop"

They all laughed, they love seeing me cry. They like to hear me scream, they enjoy seeing me in this agonizing pain.

"No, please, I beg you.. s-stop!"

Jason's hands went behind mid back to unpluck my bra. Yup, this is it! They're really gonna do this, I thought.

"NO, NO, NO" I kept repeating, hoping that they realize they are going way too far, hoping that they will finally listen to me!

"That's enough!" a voice full of authority roared, it was David Veveiros's voice. It was deep and strong. HE was the quarter back. In the beginning of freshmen year, I had the biggest crush on him. Who wouldn't? He was tall, six feet two, had the best six packs in the whole universe, he even had the happy trail. His smile and his sparkly white teeth made girls go crazy, especially his killer smirk. And his eyes were the most brightest green color ever. You could get lost in them and it would be improbable to find your way back. His hair was that messy 'I-Dont-Care' hair that made him look like a complete bad ass. All you want to do is run your fingers through it.

But then the bullying started and I lost my interest in him, because HE was the bystander. He would be there most of the time they tormented me. He never insulted me and he never participated. He would just stand on the corner, in the back of the room, with his arms crossed, observing all the messed up things they'd do to me. He would laugh ocassionally but it almost seemed forced. Or maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. He is the one that would stop them when they went to far. Like now...

"Why david? I was just getting started," Jason said playfully.

"Because I said so, All of youse, Leave NOW!" David yelled.

Jason got off of me and then I heard shuffling and then a moment later I heard the sound of the doors shut.

I cried thinking I was alone.

"Are you okay?" David's deep voice startled me.

I glared at him but didn't answer him. Really? Was I okay? After that whole scene he really thought I was going to turn out just dandy? Seriously!?

"Okay that was a stupid question. Umm, do you have any extra clothes?"

"Why do you care?" I spat at him. He has witnessed almost everything they have done to me, not once had he spoken to me and he never stuck up for me!

"I don't," he shrugged. He turned around, he then looked over his shoulder and said, "I suggest you get dressed and leave, before they come back."

With those last eleven words, he walked away. I went to my gym locker, got extra clothes, got dressed and then I jogged out of the school building.

I ran home, once in a while I would stop to catch my breath then ran again without looking back. I made it home in less than twenty minutes and yelled out for my mother. Seconds later, she came out of the kitchen, confusion was written all over her face.

"Honey... What are you doing here?" She asked, she scrunched her eyebrows together, making a crease between them.

"We need to talk," I said out of breath. I sat on the stairs.

She looked at me waiting for me to speak up.

While running home, I made my mind up...

I will tell my mother everything. From the beginning, to the middle and the end. Making my way back there was only one thing I thought of, one thing I desired, one thing I wanted,  one thing I needed, one thing I dreamed of..

VENGEANCE!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

( A/N ) : So, what did you think? Did you like it? What didn't you like? Melanie is so evil huh?

 

 

 

Chapter One: Transformation

- Chapter One: Transformation -

 

"And who am I? Without a name dropping it, I'm Someone who saw the top and didn't stop, he just climbed. Someone who get money without dropping a dime Transform to your leader and my optimus prime"  - Fabolous

 

***** One Hour Later *****

My mom hugged me tightly, silent tears rolled down her tan cheek. The motherly love I was receiving is exactly what I needed. Her warmth stopped my chest from heaving and she stroked my long, curly hair. It made me feel something I've been missing since my daddy left... love. Not that my dad left my on purpose, he works every day and his job was hours away from where we lived. I'd be lucky if I saw him more than once in a month. Words can't explain how much I miss him and even though he works so much, I can't help but be so proud of him!

" I.. I don't understand why you didn't tell me sooner, sweety," mom said, then she kissed the top of my head.

I pulled away and examined my hand, as if they were the most astonishing thing in the world. I opened my mouth to speak, but then it closed it, not knowing what to say. I fidgeted my fingers and sighed.

" I g-guess, I was a-afraid," I stuttered. Brand-new tears rolled down my olive skin. My mother layed her palm on top of the back of my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. I lowered my gaze.

"Afraid of what honey?" Her soothing voice asked.

I shrugged.

"Do you want me to call the school?"

I shook my head.

"Your dad?"

Again, I shook my head.

"Then what do you want? I'll do anything," she asked desperately.

A smirk formed in my mind. My hazel eyes met her dark green eyes. Three words formed in my head.

"I want revenge," I announced, meaning it from the bottom of my heart.

Her face went from disbelief, to confusion, then to bewilderment. By the look on her face, I knew she was in deep thought. The way her eyes appeared to be in a different world. She was thinking of what to say. She was most likely going to yell at me, saying how stupid and pathetic my desicion was. Then she would probably ask me if I was crazy, if I have gone mad, or if I've lost my mind. I wouldn't blame her if she did. Her innocent, chaste, quiet daughter wanting revenge, one word: crazy!

Then I caught something, the corner of her lips curled up. My mother was smirking!

"I've got a plan."

 

****************Three Hundred sixty-four days later **********************

 

When my mom said she'd do anything for me, she was being one hundred honest with me. My mom called a teacher, a beautician, a make-up artist, a counselor and hired them.

My teacher was in her late forties. She was extemely stricked and often very cranky. Her face aged from frown lines, her hair was auburn with white streaks. She was always so hard on me! I think she was going through menopause. Thank the Lord that yesterday was my last class with her!

My make-up artist, Stacey, who lived here, did a huge make over on me. My thick, squared glasses were replaced with contact lenses. My teeth are now free from train tracks, which I sort of miss. I feel weird without them. I sometimes use my glasses, I still need to get use to my contacts. She gave me a cream to make all the pimples that decorated my entire face fade away. Now my face is healthy, smooth and pimple-free. She also taught me how to walk in stilettos. After months of training, I can now run in high heels... literally- trust me it is possible. She is also the one who taught me how to dress appropriately and act like a lady.

My beautician was a year old thirty man named Tony. He was Dominican, he had an accent which was very attractive. Now that I'm going to school, he is being paid to do my hair in the morning. The once frizzy, dead, nappy hair I had three hundred sixty-four days ago was silky, smooth and shiney. I had volume now and my curls were more outstanding.

Last but not least was Mr. Leo, also known as, Kenneth, my counselor. Not only that but he is also a good friend of mine. He's twenty-five. I think he's young to be a counselor but he is very good at his job. He helped me to boost my self-confidence. Which was easier said than done. In my eighteen years of living, this has been the most complex thing I've ever achieved. It was more complex than learning the periodic table and that... was very hard.

From all the insults I've gotten from Melanie, Matt, Jason and so on, I actually believed that I was a worthless looser, a good for nothing, "the most hideous thing in the whole solar system" as Jason once said. But that didn't stop him from violating me. Thanks to Kenneth, I can say that I am beautiful without having a little voice in my mind telling me that I wasn't. I can actually look at myself in the mirror without feeling appalled and ashamed of myself.

I know I am not perfect and that I am not the most beautiful girl in the world. I can admit that I have flaws, but I do know that I am beautiful. I'm not that girl that used to hide in her thick rims, kinky hair and clothes that were ten times bigger than  her size. I am not that weak, unattractive, and scrawny girl that I once was. I'm not that girl anymore! I am beautiful and confident. I learned how to defend myself too. I'm far from that girl that couldn't even form a correct fist. And I don't stutter anymore unless I am super nervous.

"So, what's tomorrow?" Stacey asked.

Currently, we are laying down on my king-sized bed, staring at my baby blue ceiling.

"My first day of school, as if you didn't know," I responded.

"Yeah but why specifically November sixteenth? Why didn't you start in September like everyone else?" She questioned.

I sighed. Sometimes she asked too many questions. But that's what made her so... her! Plus, she is my best friend. She's twenty one, we're not that far away in age. So, I guess I can tell her.

"Last year, it was on a wednesday, November sixteenth, the 'Queen Bee' of the school chased me into the girls locker room, she hit me repeatedly and insulted me. Then, when she was done she left me with her group of girlfriends and they... they kicked and punched me, one after another after another," waterfalls rushed down my face, "They took off my clothes and called the football team in. They violated me.. I felt so useless," I sobbed, more miserable tears slid down my face. "I ran home and told my mom all the horrible things they've done to me," I wiped my tears away with the back of my sleeves, "It scarred me so badly, that was the day I promised I would get my revenge." I exhaled, "so tomorrow is not only November sixteenth it's also the day the football team almost took my virginity away."

I looked to the Stacey's eyes were full of anger but her face had no expression.

"I want to help you," she blurted out.

"Hate to break it to you, but unfortunately, you can't," I stated.

"Aint-cha ma rich?" Stacey asked, her slang coming out.

"Yeah so?"

"Do I look young?"

I raised an eyebrow and asked, "What are you trying to get at, Stace?"

A smirk appeared on her lips.

"I can change my name, get fake papers and go to school with you. AND we can get the same exact scheduel!" She finished off clapping her hand enthusiastically.

'That's actually not a bad idea, but can it be done?'  I thought.

"MOTHER!" I hollered.

Moments later a tall, lean women with thick chocolate brown, curly hair entered my room.

"Yes honey?"

"Is it um possible-"

"Can you get me fake papers to go to Jazielly's school and help her get revenge?" Stacey interrupted me, getting straight to the point.

"Absolutely not!" My mom yelled, shaking her head, not even thinking about it.

"But why Mrs. Moore? It'll be a great idea. Jazielly won't be alone, we're practically like sisters and you never know when she'll need an extra hand. You know, two pairs of hands is better than one," Stacey coaxed.

I crossed my fingers mentally, hoping she will give in. She gave me a long stare. I pleaded her with my bronze eyes. She ran her fingers through her wavy hair. She going to say yes in,

3

2

1.....

"Fine, I'll call your dad to see what he can do, but no promises," she said.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!" I hugged her and shook her from side to side.

"Okay, go to bed, you have school tomorrow," she kissed my forehead.

"Okay," I kissed her back, on her cheek.

Then I said goodnight to Stace, kicked her out of my room and went off to dreamland.

 

******************************************************************************

 

Right now I am standing in front of my old highschool. The door that was once filled with graffiti was now a blue door. I took a deep breath, opened the door and walked in. I looked around to see the school had only changed a little. New lockers and locks were installed and that's basically it. I walked to the Senior Office which was on the third floor. It was so quiet that you could only hear the noise that my Azzedine Alaia Suede wedges were making.

Presently, I am wearing a black sheer lace dress that reached my mid-thighs, hugging my curves in the right places, showing off my long legs I worked on so hard running almost every morning. My hair was done in a sock bun with a braid around it. I was wearing gold knot stud earrings, a gold fringe necklace and a gold toggle chain bracelet.

Stace put on a bit of foundation, with the liquid eyeliner she did a winged out eye, she added some mascara and finished off with a nude lipstick. I begged her not to put make up on me, her response was, "calm your tits, it's your first day of school, you need to look flawless," and after a long argument, I gave up.

I finally made it to the Senior Office, coming face to face with Mrs. Hemingway who was in her late thirties. She had brunnette hair and brown eyes.

"May I help you?" She asked politely, as I walked to her desk.

"Yes, I'm new. I am here to pick up my scheduel, Jazielly Moore," I told her.

"Ahhhh, yes wait a minute," she looked through the piles of paper scattered all over her desk.

"Here you go," she handed me the paper.

"Thanks Mrs. Hemingway"

She scrunched her eyebrows in confusion. I knew why she's confused, she doesn't have a nametag, she was probably wondering how the heck do I know her name, when I'm new to this school.

I turned to leave.

"Ms. Moore?" She called.

"Yes, Mrs. Hemingway?"

"Don't you need someone to show you around?"

"No, I know my way," I said.

"You are new though."

"If you want to be technical, I am not new, I've been to this school."

She raised an eyebrow.

"Really? I have never seen you before."

I turned around completely to face her and chuckled.

"Oh, that's the thing, you have, you just don't recognize me."

She gave me a skeptical look.

"I am Jazielly Moore, the shy girl who used to come here in my Junior year. I came here crying, begging you guys to change my classes, pleading for you guys not to send me back to gym because they would torture me. But you guys did nothing!"

Her eyes widdened.

"You remember now, right? You used to look at me with such pitiful eyes, but you didn't do anything!" I said to her, a little irritated from the memory.

I walked towards the door, before I left I said one more thing.

"You should be ashamed for letting that happened... have a great day though," I smiled and then walked off.

I looked at my scheduel, I had all Honors classes. I had honors History right now, all the way on the first floor.

"Great," I muttered.

Making my way to class I thought of Mrs. Hemingway's face. If her reaction was priceless, I wondered what the other faces would be like.

"Let's wait and see," I mumbled.

I was standing in front of my classroom door. The door had a paper on it saying 'Mr. Fitzgerald AKA Mr. fitz ROOM 85.'

Reaching the door knob, my heart wanted to break through my ribcage and crawl out of my chest. My palms felt like an ocean with how sweaty they were becoming!

"Breath Jaz," I said to myself.

I did a count down starting from ten, then my hand grasped the door knob and twisted it. I opened the door, it creaked getting everyone's attention. Instantly, I see three fimiliar faces:

Melanie's, Jason's and David's.

'Well this should be fun'  I thought.

"Yes dear, How may I help you?" The short old, man with plain white hair and wrinkles all over his face asked.

"Yes, I'm a new student," I explained.

"Name, sweetheart?"

I looked at over to the whole class.

"Jazielly Moore."

_________ _________ _________ __________ __________ __________ __________ __________

Hey Readers! So what did you guys think? What do you think they're reaction is going to be like? Do you think Melanie is going to freak out?

Did you like Stacey? How about her mom?

Personally, I love Jazielly's mom.

Comment/Heart <3 

--- Let me know IN MY MESSAGES if you'd like me to read your book! Thanks for reading!!! (:

Chapter Two: Recognition

- Chapter Two: Recognition -

 

"You wouldn't even recognize me anymore. Not that you know me back then, but it all  comes back to me, in the end" -Linkin Park

 

 If I thought Mrs. Hemingway's face was priceless, then their faces were to die for! The pencil that Melanie was holding ended up on the floor, her jaw was wide open, I fought the urge to say 'close your mouth before you choke on a fly.' Her eyes wanted to come out of her sockets and creep under the desk. Jason's face looked like he was constipated. He seemed to have forgotten how to breathe. His hands were gripping on the thin, yellow wood that helps you create calligraphy like his life depended on it. His knuckles were white by how tight his grasp was on the pencil. David's face was indifferent but seconds before his fake facade, his bright green eyes were full of astonishment and recognition. The way he went from a negative phase to a neutral phase was impressive. It demonstrates how good he is at controlling his emotion. Actually he's very good... too good.

 "Tell us about yourself Jazelly," Mr. Fitz said.

"It's Jazielly," I looked at Melanie, mocking the way she used to say my name. She gulped and I smirked in satisfaction.

"Actually I came to this school last year, but some things came up and I had to get homeschooled. But here I am now, ready for this new school year."

I looked at Melanie, Jason and David. I scrutinized each one of them, eyelash-to-eyelash, eye-to-eye, pupil-to-pupil. Jason squirmed in his seat. I loved that I have that affect on him. The same he had on me for years.

"Well Jazielly, welcome back. We're working on the Industrial Revolution, are you fimiliar with it?"

I nodded.

"Great, Now let us find you a seat." He walked over to his desk and grabbed the seating chart. He scanned the paper with his thick, wrinkled index finger.

"Well, Miss Moore looks like you'll be sitting with David Veveiros," Mr. Fitz announced.

 My heart dropped to my stomach. A lump the size of a tennis ball formed in my throat. Out of all the people, why him? I had to sit with the boy I used to stare at in freshman year because I was amazed by how handsome he was. The boy that I fantasized about, the boy who taught me what a real crush was. The boy that I have feelings for. I mean had feelings for.

"David raise your hand."

A muscular, hairy arm raised. I met eyes with him and he looked like he was feeling the same way I was feeling; shocked, irritated, angry all at once. But the one emotion no one would be able to see if you weren't as focused as me, was repentance. Gradually, I made my way to my desk and sat down. An indulgent fragrance welcomed me. He smelled like Ralph Lauren Polo cologne with a hint of aftershave, it drove me insane!

"Well let's get back on track. Another famous invention was created by James Watt named the steam engine...." the old raspy voice faded away in the background. I felt so many eyes on me, but the pairs of eyes that made the hairs on my neck spike up were the ones next to me.

  ************************

Everyone was talking about the 'New Girl' which was me, obviously. The girls envied me, they wanted to be me. They hated on my hair, the way I walk with so much confidence, with my head held up high, one leg in front of the other, my back straight - but not so straight to look like I had a stick up my ass. Three hundred and sixty five days ago, I would walk with my back hunched and my hair would be my curtains to hide my face. Now, I'm used to having my hair out of my face, though I still don't like it.

Boys that pitied me and were disgusted by me, who never even gave me a second glance once they saw me, changed into lecherous gazes. All this is ironic because I'm not new, little did they know that I'm Jazielly, the hideous nobody that no one stood up for when she was bullied.

I was sitting down, at lunch eating fries with a vanilla milkshake on the side, when a short girl about five-four with red-orange hair came up to me. The color of her eyes reminded me of autumn leaves, brown with little specks of gold and orange and her whole body was scattered with freckles.

She smiled and said,"Jazilly, right? I'm new as well.. came here about three weeks ago. I usually sit here by myself, but you can stay.. I mean if you want to." She sat down putting her tray of brocoli, mash potato and gravy on the table.

"It's Jazielly, and thank you very much!" I gave her a polite smile.

Everyone pronounces my name incorrectly and I understand. My name is not common at all. There's a story behind it. My father's name is Jasper and My Mom's name is Ellie. My mom wanted a unique name, she ended up combining her name with dad's name together. 'Jaz' from him and 'elly' from her and came up with Jazielly.

 "Oh, I'm sorry! Jazielly, got it. I think everyone knows your name here, the girls are so jealous of you and they boys want you. Like want want you. Know what I mean?" She said dipping her head, emphasizing 'want'.

I nodded.

Inside a burning sensation spread all over me. I know I should be happy with all that I've accomplished, but I was so angry. Did they know who I really am? Did they know I was the girl the popular group ridiculed because of the littlest things? Because of my messy hair and lack of style? They insulted me every day, filled my head with unwanted profanities. They turned the quiet, innocent girl, into one filled wih rage. It's their fault I'm like this!!!

"Jazielly, are you okay?" Lenna asked, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I shook my head and said, "oh yeah, just dandy."

She gave me a confused look, then asked, "Where you from?"

"Here," I replied curtly.

'I should probably get more friends, not really used to having conversations.'

We sat in silence, while I finished my vanilla milkshake and she finished her brocoli.

"What class do have have next?" Lenna broke the awkward silence.

"Honors English IV, you?"

Her eye lit up.

"Same Class."

I grinned, showing her all my teeth.

'I think she's happy because we have the same class.'

We got up together to throw away our trash in the garbage.

 Walking toward the door, the first bell rang indicating there was five minutes left to get to class.

"From what I've heard, you have been here before, correct?"

"Yup, I left this month of last year now I'm back."

It feels weird to be walking in the hallway with a friend. I haven't had a friend since the seventh grade. I had a very good friend. She was like my sister. Then little by little she started drifting away from me and hanging out with her new frends. Then one day, She stopped talking to me completely. Well, not completely but she just stopped being my friend.

We made our way to Ms. Silva's class as soon as the late bell rung.

"Another new student here, eh?" A tall women in her early thirties said, who I assume is Ms. Silva. She had pitch-black hair and dark brown eyes. She was pretty.

"Yeah, her name is Jazielly." Lenna told her.

"What a beautiful name. Well, I'm Ms. Silva and you may sit next to Lenna. She can help you out on what we're learning."

The desks were in groups of four. I followed Lenna to her desk. She sat down in her seat and I glanced at the people in her group.

'Great, he's following me everwhere. Why!?!?!'

David and Clarice were the people in her group, and I had to sit facing he boy with jet-black hair and jade eyes. While Clarice had her eyes glued to my face, David was staring at the wall behind me.

I chuckled.

"What's funny?" Lenna questioned.

"Oh nothing, I'm just fascinated that Clarice has nothing to say to me."

Clarice gasped, most likely surprised by how blunt I was.

"What? Cat catch your tongue?"

She stared at me and David, finally, turned his attention to me. Clarice stood frozen like a deer caught in head lights. She probably thought if she stood very still she'd turn invisible.

"You know them?" Lenna jerked her head in their direction.

"Oh yes! We go way back." I nodded at Lenna, then turned to face them. "Right guys?"

David's adam's apple slowly went up and then down.

'Fina-fricking-lly a reaction from him!'

Clarice shook her head nd David nodded at the same time.

'Smart boy.'

"We don't Clarice?" I acted surprised.

"Nope.. Not that I remember," she said hesitantly.

"Would you like me to elaborate it for you?"

"Go right ahead," she shrugged.

'Wrong move!'

"Okay February tenth of two-thousand-ten. It was sixth period and we had gym. You remember that girl you tormented?"

Her face saddened and her eyes became full of remorse.

'Impossible, she can't feel sorry; she is heartless.'

"Remember she used to have a machine to help her breathe because she has 'Respiratory Arrest'?"

********

Flashback

They came while I was breathing in the oxygen of my machine. Clarice came in front of me and said, "Aww poor baby, she can't breathe." Then, she turned around and hollered, "Hey Mels, look at what we have here."

Melanie and Samantha showed up. Whatever they were going to do to me, they were ready. I could tell because of the position Melanie was standing. Her arms were across her chest. She had a smirk on her lips and her hip was cocked to the side. And plus, the little twinkle in her ice-blue eyes, gave everything away.. she already had a plan in her evil little head. Then, she gave the girls  the signal. She nodded her head to the girls, which meant 'get on with it'.

My heart was beating so rapidly, I thought it was going to explode. The machine suddenly wasn't giving me enough oxygen because of how fast I was breathing. I was so terrified. I wanted to hide in a little corner and never come out! My eyes and nose stung, I didn't want to cry but still, tears came out of my eyes and they haven't even started.

"Look, the baby's crying," Samantha pointed out.

"Aww poor thing." Melanie cooed. She walked up to me, snatched the machine away from my hands and gave it to Clarice. Melanie snapped her fingers at her. That was another signal.  But a signal to what? I was going to find out any second now!

THUMP!

I looked at the floor and there was my machine, broken. My inhaler was at the nurses office. Mr. Link wasn't going to let me go, he hated my guts! I can't play, I wouldn't be able to breathe.

"OOPS!" Clarice shrugged, like she did nothing.

"My bad."

With that they walked away, and I pulled my Knees against my chest. Sobbing and gasping for air at the same time. And under these conditions I still played.

 

*********

End of Flashback

 

Clarice's eyes were glossy, she clearly had the urge to cry.

"Wanna know how it felt? When she played basketball because coach made her play? You know when you hold your breath under water? You reach your limit and you rise up and inhale that fresh air through you lungs. It feels like the first breath you took in years but in reality it has been a couple seconds. Well, imagine struggling to at least get a little bit of fresh air. Imagine not getting it at all. Playing basketball and coughing and gasping at the same time. It's not easy. And that's exactly how she felt. Do you remember now Clarice?" I asked her.

Tears wiggled out of her eyes but she said nothing.

"Of course you do," I muttered.

Ms. Silva gave us a reading assignment and currently was on her phone. She was probably playing game. Lenna sat there surprised at what I just said. David was leaned back in his chair, with his arms crossed making his muscles look so conspicuous. His jaw clenched, then unclenched a couple times.

"You okay Dave?" He looked at me with his intense green eyes, "is it okay if I call you 'Dave'?"

"Sure," he nodded.

"Sure that you're okay or that I can call you 'Dave'?" I added trying to get some type of reaction from him.

"You can call me Dave, as long as I get to call you 'Jaz'."

"Not a problem, Dave."

"Okay, Jaz."

Is it just me, or is this guy crazy good at hiding his emotions?

 

~~~~    ********************* ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ******************

 

Hey Bookrixers,

How'd you like it? I know it has been a long time since I updated, but I hope this chater made up for it. Listen, I usually have my cousin edit my chapters before I post them, but recently she hasn't been available. So if I have a lot of errors let me know, I'll fix them ASAP!

Do you like Lenna?

How about David? He is so serious and mysterious?

Were their reactions of seeing Jaz what you expected?

Let me know, And thanks for reading! (:

Heart/comment <33333 Give me Feedback! :D

Chapter Three: Confrontations

- Chapter Three: Confrontations -

 

"See I'm real. I do it all, it's all me. I'm not fake, don't ever call me lazy. I won't stay put, give me the chance to be free. Suffolk sadly seems to suffocate me." -Ed Sheeran

 

The bell rang, I left mathematics to go Physical Educations on the first floor. I wasn't ready to go to the girl's locker room, but you gotta do what you gotta do, then you move on. I saw Mr. Link, his beer belly augmented, if possible, since the last time I've seen him. His once pitch black hair, turned into salt and pepper. I couldn't believe how old he has gotten in one year. All I could think of is he just need to retire because let's be honest... He's fat! Okay, that was a little rude, but he deserves it. Plus, you have to admit, He's not even fit. I'm pretty sure a women that is nine months pregnant looks emaciated compared to him. That was over the top, oh well! That's what he gets for treating me worse than a dog all these years. Mr. Link noticed me and started walking towards me.

"Are you new, Miss?" His eyes roamed all over my body and I did not like it.

"Technically, yes." I replied. He raised one black and white bushy eyebrow. He reminds me of Bob Hurley but ten times bigger. 

"I'm sure you remember me," I continued, resting my palm against my hip, "I am Jazielly Moore."

 I raised my chin up and gave him a fake smile, waiting for his response.

"J-Jazielly?" He asked, more to himself than me. He was suddenly looking pale and very nervous.

"Yes sir, now if you'll excuse me I have to get ready for gym."

I walked right passed him without waiting for his response. 

Gym. I hated gym with a burning passion last year. The girls used to corner me and make my life impossible. I hated that all the girls would never missed the chance to pick on me. I remember going to the office, begging them to exchange my class but they didn't care. No one cared because Melanie was my bully and school without Melanie, would be nothing, nil, rien, nada. The school wouldn't exist because without her. All the money comes from Melanies' parents. I loathed how even though I had breathing problems, Mr. Link still made run the seven laps every gym class. No matter how ragged my breaths were I still had to run. Mr. Link wasn't suppose let me run, but he didn't care. No one in this school cares, they're all indifferent about bullying. 

I looked at my scheduel to check the number to my locker. Once I found it, I took my heels and dress off and put on my Champ sweats, my Nike Roshe Run and a fitted black t-shirt. I took off all of my jewlery and put them away in my bagpack, along with my folded dress and heels. I took my inhaler out of my purse, inhaled twice then put it back. I put everything in my locker and locked it. Then, made my way to the gym.

 I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing but everyone was in my class. When I say everyone, I truly mean it. The whole crew were sitting on the bleachers. Melanie was next to David with her hand around his arms. David had was leaned forward with his elbows resting on his kness. He was in a deep conversation with Matt who was sitting besides him. Jason was next Matt, with his back against the bleachers and his arms crossed, looking at the boys throwing a football back and forth. Melanies' girls Raine, Victoria, Clarice and Samantha were all sitting next to each other looking at the girls with malevolence, disgust or hatred. They smiled and waved at some girls, but it was all fake. They might have looked friendly to those girls but if you looked closely at them, you could see the hatred leaking out of their eyes. 

'I can't wait until Stacey is here with me'

I looked around, wondering where I should take my seat. Suddenly, I hear my name being called from afar. I turned around to see Lenna running towards me. I smiled so widely at her, I'm pretty sure Mississppi River had nothing on me. 

'Boy am I glad to see her here!'

"Hey Lenna!" I walked up to her.

"I'm so happy to see you here," she mimicked my smile.

"I was just thinking the same thing." 

 

Unexpectedly, a loud, fimiliar screech made its way through the gym, making most of us wince and some covered their ears. It was the one and only Mr. Link and his infamous whistle. I did not miss that whistle at all. He grinned at all of us. I hope he chokes one day blowing that whistle, if it's possible.

"Okay Guys, today you are going to partner up." He yelled. Lenna and I looked at each other and nodded. 

"Today, I don't feel like teaching and putting up with a bunch of lazy kids,"- Look who's talking - "so you guys will be doing thirty push-up, thirty sit-ups then fifteen laps around the gym."

Many groans and whining were heard but nothing from me. Running fifteen laps were nothing to me. Well not anymore, at least. I went through worse with Kenneth, my counselor.

"I don't care where you start as long as you do everything. I will keep my eyes on all of youse, and Ms. Yung will be as well. If I catch any of you dim-wits fooling around, it's an automatic detention. Understood!?" He yelled.

Everyone answered with a 'yes', 'yeah', 'yup' or 'whatever'. 

 

******************************

 

Lenna and I finished with our push-ups and sit-ups. When it was time for the run we parted because we were going different paces. I put my Beats on and put on "Rabbit Run" by Eminem. I started walking slowly, then after a while I began jogging. A few minutes later I ran swiftly around the gym, cutting people who were in my way. I breathed in through my nose, then out from my mouth like Kenneth taught me. When I was half way done doing my laps, someone had the audacity to stop right in front of me, almost making me trip. When I looked to see who it was, I put on an inscrutable face. I crossed my arms and stood up straight, that's when I notice how much taller than her.

"May I help you, Melanie?" I gave her an annoyed look.

"Is it Jazielly?" She smiled sweetly.

"Wow, Melanie this has got to be the first time you actually pronounced my name correctly." I spoke to her as if I was very surprised. Which I was.

"What are you talking about?" She shook her head, feigning confusion.

"Cut the crap Mels, you know exactly what I'm talking about." I raised my voice, brandishing a finger in her face.

"I have no cl-"

"But, whatever game you're playing, I will play along and even though you started it Melanie, trust and believe I will finish it." I got in her face my bronze eyes looking straight into her blue ones.

"Is that so Jaz-e-lly?" She smirked.

'And the old Melanie is back guys!"

"It's a promise! Now, What do you want Melanie, I have laps to finish." I crossed my arms again and cocked my hip to the side.

"Well, I'm going to have a little party and I'm invitin' you to come." 

"I can bring company?"

She looked at me as if I had grown an extra head.

"That's if you have any"

I tilted my head to the side and answered. "You'd be surprised!"

With that I put my Beats back on and finished the other half of my laps in less then ten minutes. I was the third one done. Mr. Link gave me a weird look and Ms. Yung patted my back.

"You know Jazielly, you should join track." She smiled

"I'll think about it." I nodded, then went in the girl's locker room and changed back to my normal clothes. I was content, finally I confronted Melanie and surprised Mr. Link. And I haven't even started.

 

**********

When I made it back home, I was actually happy! It was the first time in years that I made it home with a smile on my face. It was the first time I left school feeling safe, without no one yelling mean names out loud while I walked home.

My mom was in the kitchen cooking dinner. I walked up to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey, baby girl, how was school?" She kissed my forehead.

"It was great!" I smiled so big my cheeks were aching.

I told her about the face Mrs. Hemingway had when she saw me. The reaction that all my bullies and my gym teacher had when they saw me. I told her about my confrontations with Clarice and Melanie. Is was truly a good day.

"That's very good, honey." She nodded, then grabbed and gave it a gentle squeeze. She sighed.

Even though my mom was doing all she can to help me, she didn't like that her little girl was ruined by a bunch of sadistic kids. I can't blame her but what they did was unforgivable. 

I went to my room, put on my pajamas and washed my face. I went downstairs and my mom served me a plate of chicken alfredo. I was eating my last bites when Stacey came in the kitchen.

"Hey Stace," I said with my mouth full. What? I'm at home, I can be unlady-like.

"Hey Elz, what's good?" she sat down next to me, with her own plate of food.

"Nothing just came home from school, do you have facebook?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I do. How come?

"We have to go to a party tomorrow, I need to show you who is who." I explained.

I walked to the gargabe and threw out the left overs.

"I'll go get the laptop." She got up and left to her room.

I was putting my plate in the dishwasher when stacey came with her laptop. I showed her Melanie and described her personality and how deceiving she is. Then I showed her Jason and told her what he did to me that day. Next was Matt, he has his arms around a little girl with his eyes. He looked nothing like the Matt I see at school each day. Stacey's eyes soften at the picture until I told her he's the one who started everything that day in the locker room. I showed her Melanies' girls and explained Stacer their roles. Lastly I showed her David. He was leaning on his black Yamaha R6, with his arms and legs crossed and his Ray Bands on his head. His Jade eyes were bright in the photo. His spikey hair was all over the place. His smile even though it was in a picture made my heart skip. It amazes how straight and white his teeth are. He was so beautiful. But then again, Satan was an angel.

"Jaz!" Stace snapped her fingers in my face.

"Huh?" I shook my head to bring me back into reality.

"That's David?" She looked at him with dreamy eyes.

I nodded.

"Wow! He's mouth-watering. Too bad he is an a-whole! The things I'd do to him." She bit her bottom lip and went off to la-la land. 

'You're telling me, I have to sit next to him in History and smell his heavenly scent.'

I looked at his green eyes once more, shook my head again and then shut the laptop off.

"Hey! I wasn't done fantasizing!" She waved her arms at the laptop, frantically. 

"Boo-hoo, cry Justin a river, I'll be in my room when you're done."

I got up and went upstairs to my room.

 

**************

 

"Jazielly?" I looked up to my beautiful mom, her wavy hair was down reaching her belly button. 

"Yeah, ma?" 

"Your dad sent an e-mail of all Stacey's info. All we have to do is print it out. I'm her guardian so tomorrow I'll be at your school."

"Great, this is just ..... just Thank you so much Mom!" I walked up to her and braced her with a huge hug. 

"Anything for you, baby girl. I'd do anything and everything to see you happy." She kissed the top of my head. 

And I really did believe that she'd do anything for me and that is one of the reasons why I love her so much! 

 

*****************************************************************************************************************************

 

I know it's been forever and I apologize. It's summer so I will be updating more frequent.

I know it is kind of short but I still  like the chapter. The ones after this are going to be amazing. Let me know what you think? Kay? Thanks for reading! (:

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Four: David's Point of View

- Chapter Four: David's Point of View

 

"But I never told you, what I should've said. No I never told you, I just held it in. And now I miss everything about'chu. I can't believe that I still want'chu. After everything we've been through; I miss everything about you." - Colbie Caillat

 

People say they don't regret anything they did in the past, because it made them who they are today. That they'd never go back and redo everthing because it defines them and it taught them to make better decisions. Well I think that's total bull shit! I messed up so badly, I don't know how to fix it. I regret what I've done, more than anything in this world. And it's worse that I have nightmares about all the things I let them do to her. It also doesn't help that I have amazing friggin' dreams about her, as well. Even though, I prefer the latter, the ones where I have her in my arms, her body against mine. Where her hazel eyes are looking at my own behind those thick glasses. I could dream about her forever. Holding her, kissing her full lips and making her feel secure. Even though those are the dreams I wish I had more often, I hate the fact it makes my regrets increase ten times more than it did before. It makes me wish fervently that they were real.

I remember in freshman year, how her eyes used to admire me when she thought I wasn't looking.

I remember her cheeks were turn red and look elsewhere, when I'd give her a quick look in class.

I remember she would sit all the way in the back on the bench, when I had football practice. She always had her binder on lap. I would take my shirt off when I was sweating and her innocent eyes widened. She'd look down and continue what she was working on.

I remember all those days when she would surreptitously glance at me when I woud walk in late in class.

I loved eveything about her. From her frizzy curly hair, to her heart shaped face, to her cute bottoned nose, to her soft-looking pouty lips. And even though she wore clothes that were huge on her, if you examined her body closely, you could see her hour-glass figure. Everything about her was perfect, but the thing I loved most about her is her eyes. Her observing bronze eyes. They remind me swirls of cinnamon and light coffee. Now, those eyes looked at me filled with contempt. I guess I deserve it. I just wish she'd open her eyes and realize that I was never her enemy.

 

✄ ----------------------------------------------✄----------------------------------✄-------------------------------------

 

"Dude, what the hell? Do you think it's her?" Matt, my best friend asked shockingly.

 

One would think after all he has done to Jazielly, the girls who haunts my dreams every night- positively and negatively- I would cutt him off. You gotta understand that Matt and I go way the hell back, he's my brother, my partner in crime. He's got my back ad I have his. I'm not saying that what he did wasn't some f-ed up shit but he has his reasons and I have mine. I have a reputation to maintain and no one knows how I feel about her. And he... I don't know his reason because I hate talking about her.

"Of course it's her," Jason gave Matt an are-you-dumb-or-stupid look.

"It can't be her!" Melanies annoying voice exclaimed.

I roll my eyes because.. well, she's exasperating as hell and her high-pitched voice gets under my skin and runs into my veins. Did I mention she's annoying?

I know it's Jaz, how can I forget those eyes and those lips? They're always in my mind. Twenty-four-seven-three-hundred-sixty-five.

"It is her," I nodded, taking a bite out of my chicken patty.

"You sound so sure," Matt muttered.

"I am, she's wearing that necklace with a red birthstone," I assured them.

Everyone in the table looked at me with confusion. Maybe because of the fact I always stood quietly in a corner while everyone argued. Or maybe because I never got involved in their dumb shit they plan to "get" people, typically who are powerless. But it's the fact they're such imbeciles that made me speak up!

"What?" I grabbed a napkin and wiped the corners of my mouth then continued, "did'ya forget what you guys did in order for her to get it back? Or do you guys need me to simplify it for you?" I raised my eyebrows, waiting for their comebacks. They had nothing and I had nothing else to add, so we all went back to what we were doing.

 

It was Friday, the second day Jazielly being back here. She has a friend with her today, I'll admit that she's hot but nothing beats Jaz. Currently, we're all in the hallway getting our things. Melanie back is against my locker, while I'm pressed against her, with my hands on her hips. My lips are on her neck, nibbling and sucking. I don't know why I do this, I guess it's for release and she's always available. Her nails are digging in my shoulder. Even though I think she's a complete bitch and irritating, right now, as long as she stays quiet, I'm getting what I need.

"Oh more, please," she moans. And just like that my mood dissipates and I step back.

"What the hell?" She shrieks and steps closer.

"What?" I shrug innocently.

"Why'd you stopped?" She's irritated, but I don't really give a shit.

"You know why I stopped, just stay the hell shut when we do things and I'll keep going."

"But babe, how do you expect me to stay quiet when it feels good?" She whines, I friggin' hate it when she whines. And not only that, I hate it when she calls me 'babe'. Not wanting to deal with her, I just walk away.

"Where're you goin'?" she calls out. She should know by now, that I won't answer.

 

I'm mad, confused and hurt. Mad because I wish I could just move on from her. Mad because she's gotten even more beautiful, I didn't think it was attainable. I'm confused because she came back with confidence. 'Why'd she come back?' I'm confused because I found out at lunch that she agreed to come over Melanie's party. 'Why the hell would she agree to go to Melanie's a.k.a her bully's party?' And hurt, even though I know  it sounds so stupid. I'm hurt because no matter how many girls I sleep with, no matter how many girls I mess around with, no matter how many girls I kiss, she's always in my head. And I feel like an asshole after I'm done with those girls, because I have her in my head.

 

I'm walking towards English and I know I'm late. As soon as I open the door Mrs. Silva says,"Nice for you to join us, Mr. Veveiros." I give her an innocent smile and walk to my seat. 

I drop my black JanSport bagback on the floor and pull out my black one subject notebook. Clarice smiles at me and I give an almost imperceptibly nod. Lenna is writing down her notes, like usual. I had a strong urge to look at Jazielly. Even though I didn't want to, my desires got the best of me and I looked up. There she is. Her brown hair was down, her curls remind me of thick slinkies. I wanted to pull one down just to see it bounce back up. As if she could feel me staring at her, she looks up from her notes. She raised a perfectly arched eyebrows and.... wait... hold up.. is she smirking? At me? Two can play this game. I gave a sly smile, picked the pencil already on my desk and started writing my notes.

Since my back was facing the white board, it was difficult to write down the notes. Something nudged my notebook, Jazielly was handing me her notebook.

"You can copy my notes down, I'm all set." Her voice was sweet and warm. Like the warmth you feel and sweetness you taste when you're given hot chocolate after a long day of shoveling snow off your drive way.

"Thank you."

She gave me a you-are-welcome smile.

I remember her having braces before, now her teeth are free from them. They're straight and bright. Her canines were pointy making her look intense- in a good way. I looked at her handwritting, it was so neat. It was normal sized and italic, like she was actually taking her sweet time writing it down. It was different like her. 'Are you seriously checking out her handwriting?'

I wasn't even halfway done when the bell rang. I was going to give it back to her when she shook her 'no' and said to give it back to her on Monday. I simply thanked her again and she gave me a it's-really-nothing shrug and walked away. I couldn't help but notice how her hips swayed naturally side to side and those killer legs.

 

✄ ----------------------------------------------✄----------------------------------✄-------------------------------------

 

I had 'I hate everything about you' by Three Days Grace on blast. Matthew and I were getting ready for Melanie's party. Since Matt wanted to look nice, he was looking through my closet. I'm already ready, I just can't decide what shoes I'm going put on. I'm wearing Camo cargos with a black Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, with a red '3' on the sleeve and a red horse. I can't choose between my blackout bred 11's or my "Camo Swoosh" Nike KD 6.

"Matt," I yelled over the music.

I ask him a question, but since the music is so loud, all I can see him is mouth 'what'.

I walk over my Bluetooth speaker and put the volume down.

"I said, should I wear my blackout breds," I held my black and red sneakers up,"or my Kevin Durant's?" I held my other sneakers that are black with camo in the Nike symbol.

Matt has a chin strap that he liked to grow out once in a while. He scratches his beard and pulls his eyebrows together.

"I think the blackout breds," he nods.

"A'ight thanks."

I walk over to my bed and put them on. When I'm done, I put gel on my hair and comb it with my fingers. After that, I spray on 'Givenchy Pi' cologne, grab my keys and go downstairs.

 

I walked toward the door to leave, but then I remember Matt's here.

"Yo, Matt you good?" I hollered.

"Yeah man," he comes down the stairs.

He has a grey and white aéropostal shirt on, with light-washed ripped jeans on. He also has on one of my favorite Jordans on; the Olympic 7's.

"If you mess them up, I'll mess you up." I point a finger at him.

"I'd like to see you try," he gives me a cocky smile.

 

We got into my gun metal grey Dodge Charger STR 2014. I put my 'One Republic' C.D. I was nervous as hell. I just knew tonight was going to be unforgettable, I'm just trying to figure out if it's a positive thing or a negative thing.

 

✄ ----------------------------------------------✄----------------------------------✄-------------------------------------

 

 

"Whose turn is it?" Melanie asked, examining her french tip nails.

Everyone was drinking except me, Jazielly and Matt. Even her friends, I think their names were Stacey and Lenna had Heinekens in their hands. To be honest, I tried so hard to not even glancte at Jazzy but damn, it was impossible. She had red high waisted jeans with a black criss-cross crop top and black Doc Martens. Her hair was down, again. She looked amazing. I'd look at her when she was not paying attention. Matthew, I noticed, couldn't keep his eyes off of Stacey. She had on a blue pencil skirt, with a white tank top and a black blazer. She had on black wedges and had a tattoo above her ankle.

Melanie's eyes twitched every time she looked at them. She was jealous of them, but she kept a good act. She kept them involved in the conversations and smiled at them. It was obviously all fake, in my eyes at least.

Right now, we were all sitting in a circle. I had Melanie on my side with her hand on my thighs. I wanted to push it off, but this was all an act so I had to keep it there. I have Matt next to me, too. We were all playing spin the bottle.

I hated this game so much, but I had needed to keep my reputation so I played, if not I'd be called a pussy and more harsh things. It never happened to me, it probably won't but I'm not taking my chances.

"It's David's turn," Jason spoke up.

I sighed and spinned the green heineken bottle. The bottle spun and spun and spun. All the girls, not including Jazielly and her friends, were all anxious, silently hoping it was them the bottle would choose. All the guys, like me, were bored. Believe it or not, out of the eight girls that are here, there's only three I haven't kissed, and thats because they're new to these things. The bottle slowed down, it pointed to Clarice, her eyes lit up. As soon as the bottle left her, all hope was gone. It went even slower this time. The suspense was killing me, when it pointed it Stacey, it looked like it was gonna stop but then it moves just a centimeter more, then it ceased completely. The bottle was pointing at red pants. I looked up meeting shocked whiskey colored eyes.

"Lucky ass," Matt muttered.

I couldn't agree more.

 

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This Chapter was so hard to write because it was a guy's point of view.  I think I re-wrote this chapter like four times. It was so so difficult! But I did it and I think I did pretty good.

If you have any confusions, let me know.

"Camo Swoosh" Nike KD 6 are a type of Nike brand by the basketball player named Kevin Durant.

Blackout Bred 11's are a type of Jordans. 

The Olympic 7s, I mentioned are Jordans, too. They're white, grey, red, gold and navy blue.

Jordans usually go by numbers 1-23. Then there's more that aren't numbers like 'six rings', 'flights', etc.

 

I have few important questions for my readers because I really need to know.

- DO you like David?

- How about Jazielly?

- Is there any confusion any one has?

 

 

Let me know. 

Comment/message/Heart

 

Thanks for Reading! xoxo

 

Chapter Five: Spinning

- Chapter Five: Spinning (Jazielly's Point of View) 

 

"Yeah, I've been feeling everything, from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth. I guess that's how I know you, so I hold you close... to help you give it up! So kiss me like you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved, you wanna be loved. This feels like falling in love, falling in love, falling in love."-Ed Sheeran.

 

'Why me?'

Those are the two words, I've asked myself been asking myself for years.

But seriously, why me?

Out of all the girls in this room, wishing it was them to be in my place but no it had to be me. I knew it was a bad idea to come to this dumb party, with this dumb outfit and this dumb make-up. Actually, Stacey practically dragged me out of the house, sat me on the car and put my seat belt on. Then she threaten to sit on me and call Kenneth if I didn't cooperate. How the heck did she even know where Melanie lives? Maybe she's very smart. Maybe she's a psychic. Or maybe she's a spy. Oh my goodness, has she been spying on me before she lived with me!?

"Jazielly Rose Moore!" Stacey whispered harshly, waving a hand in my face.

"Are you a spy?" I asked in a hushed tone.

"Wait- what?" She tilted her head to the side.

"I asked, are you-

"Dude, shut up we have better thing to worry about," she said grimly. "Isn't this your first kiss?" She shook her head like she couldn't believe I'm not taking this as serious as it is.

My eyes widened, that thought didn't cross my mind at all. Let me make this clear, I've never kissed a boy, willingly. My first kiss was stolen from me forcefully. So yeah... the idea of me kissing a boy by choice was a little scary for me.

"Hellllllooooo, we're wasting time here!" Melanie screeched, tapping her french-tipped nails on the floor, her palm holding her chin.

"Hold your damn horses," Stacey rolled her eyes at her. "Okay, all you have to do is give him a little chaste kiss and that's all," she faced me.

I nodded. I knew she could see the worry in my eyes.

"It's not going to be in public. Look, he tries anything just kick him in the balls and scream. Then, I'll barge in there and castrate him. kay?" She bent her head a little meeting my eyes.

I looked over at David, he was on his iPhone like he had no care in the world.

"Okay," I nodded.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

I bobbed my head, yeah.

"Wish me luck," I mumbled.

I stood up and David must have sensed me because he looked up. I gestured with my head to come with me. He stood up and put his phone in his front pocket. He was so tall. 

'I know the closet. So friggin cliche, I thought this only happened in books'

Making my way to the closet was nerve-wrecking. All I wanted to do was turn around and run home as fast as I can. The boy that I liked so much in Freshman year, that let his friends push me around, is the same exact boy that I'm going to kiss, right now. David opened the door and waited for me to go inside, the door was shut behind me a second later. The closet was dark and it smelled like old shoes. It was a walk-in closet, the clothes were split up. Sweaters on the left and jackets on the right. Nothing in the middle, and there were only a couple of running shoes and tan work boots on the far left.

'So that's where that weird stench is coming from.'

"We have until they knock on the door." David broke the awkward silence. You might think that they'll knock on the door immediately, but that was considered cock blocking─ excuse my language, I don't know another word for it. So, I know we had plenty of time to kill. "Okay," I whispered.

We stood there in silence, for what felt like hours but in reality it had only been a minute and seventeen seconds, but who's counting?

Even though it was dark, I knew his eyes were on me. He knew that I was looking at him.

Because even in the dark I could still see his green, green eyes.

Because even in the dark I could make out the shape of his full, full lips.

Because even in the dark I could still see his messy, messy but perfect hair.

I could feel the heat radiating off of him and surrounding me. It was making me feel hot everywhere. I felt him shift one foot to the other, then he cleared his throat. "So..." his deep, huskey voice said. I felt him move closer, the heat intensifying the closer he was to me.

"Yeah?" I looked up at him. He was so tall and I wasn't. My head was at his chest so I really did have to look up.

"Is it okay if turn on my flashlight on my phone?"

"Sure."

A white light illuminated the closet. David was looking at me with an expression I couldn't comprehend. It scared me, not in a bad way. It's the way I look at shrimps in restaurants, they look ah-mazing but I can't have it because I'm allergic to it. I couldn't understand why he was looking at me that certain way. He wasn't ashamed just looking at me either, it made me feel like something; like someone. And I stared at him, too. David changed in a year duration. Last year and the years before, he always kept his face clear, no hair. It made him look younger. Now he's grown a goatee, with a soul patch attached to it. It made him look more... manly. He was so gorgeous, it hurt to look at him.

"Now I can see you," he whispered more to himself.

I bit my bottom lip not knowing what to say and looked down. My cheeks were burning, I knew I was blushing.

He came closer to me, I could feel his toned, toned abs against my breast. It made me nipples harden.. Is this normal? Are they suppose to do that? Oh my goodness, I'm freaking out right now! Where is Stacey when I need her?

His thumb pulled my bottom lip out of my teeth and rubbed his soft, soft but kind of dried thumb across it. My breath hitched, I definitely wasn't expecting him to do that. He bit his lips and suddenly I was yearning to do the same.

"Jaz," he said my name so softly it made me stomach erupt with butterflies, my hands began to sweat. He removed his finger from my lip so, so gently.

'Why was I feeling like this? I'm pretty sure I'm not suppose to feel this way towards someone who's made you suffer.. right? Gosh, I'm so confused.'

"Yes Dave?"

"We won't have to do anything you don't want to, we could stand here just like this and I won't care."

"I know, but it's a game, it's a rule. I'm not backing down," I shrugged.

"I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

"It's okay," I chuckled softly. "I knew what I was getting into when I walked in this house and when I entered this closet."

He cupped my cheek with his warm, warm hand. I unconsciously leaned into his touch. His hands were so big. Making me wonder all the wonderful things he could do with them. I'm loosing my mind.

 

"May I kiss you?" He asked, nervously. Never in my life have I seen him so nervous. He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, his other hand never leaving my cheek. He always looked so confident with all the girls he's been with.

'After everthing you've been through? I mean, don't you hate him?' My conscious asked me. I ignored it and gradually nodded at David.

He placed the hand that was on his neck on my lower back, making goosebumps run all over my skin. His rubbed is thumb up and down, up and down my back. It made wonder if he realized he was doing it. He pulled me against him. I felt everything, his smooth, smooth shirt against the part my stomach that was showing. And his amazing abs. My stomach clenched from the contact and something inside me ached. It was confusing as heck, I don't even know what this feeling was called. And it made me feel so naive. My heart was poundin' in my chest and his felt the same way. I knew I was affecting him. My breaths became uneven when he lowered his head. When his silky, silky lips brushed my own, I involuntarily stepped back.

"Wait." The word came out my mouth before I had the chance to stop.

"What's wrong? Did I hurt you?" His eyes roamed all over my body, not in a perverted way, but in a caring way.

"No.. it's just... it's that... it's.. ummm" I sighed. I haven't stuttered in a year. He stood there dumbfounded, but waited patiently for my explanation. "It's just I never kissed a boy, willingly." I confessed, feeling a little abashed. I looked at him waiting for the question, waiting for him to say that he was disgusted. But an emotion flashed in his eyes. He understood. He knew what I was talking about.

His hand grabbed my waist and lightly pulled me against him. Were were hip-to-hip and chest-to chest.

"I just want you to know, that I've never wanted to hurt you." His minty, minty breathe caressed my lips and if I wasn't so lost in this moment.. I would've notice he used past tense.

I put my hands on his broad shoulders but he took them and wrapped them around his neck. I craned my neck to look into to his now, forest green eyes. His right hand went around my lower back and his left was placed on the side of my neck. I felt even closer to him than before.

"Is this okay?" He whispered.

I gulped and nodded.

He gave me a close-mouthed smile. A reassuring smile. It was such a simple gesture but it made me feel special, because I've never seen this smile, and I knew he rarely gave it out. His thumb stroked my cheek, and the way he was looking at me made me feel high.

High on happiness.

High on giddiness.

High on him.

High on heat.

High on his green eyes.

High on his wash-board abs against me.

High on these I-don't-know-what-they're-called feelings.

It was him and me, me and him. We were in our little personal bubble and I was lost. Lost in his eyes, lost on the way his thumb felt on his my skin, lost in this moment. When he lowered his head for the second time, I was ready. I wanted to feel his hands all over me. I wanted his sweet, sweet tongue inside my mouth. When his lips brushed once faintly on my lips, my head was spinning. The second time, my knees weakened. And when his tender lips finally touched mine own, a knock interrupted everything.

"Time's up!" A deep voice said.

 ☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☞☟ 

Hello Bookrixers! (:

 

I've updated. Hope ya'll liked it! 

If you did, Heart ❦  or comment... Kay?

Have a nice day/night. Thanks for reading!

Peace ✌

Chapter Six: Remembered

 -Chapter Six: Remembered [Dave's POV]-

 

 

“Cause I remember every word that you said ,it all just keeps spinning around in my head. But it don't matter what I try to do, I keep on forgetting to forget about you. And I don't want to think about you baby so much, all the things we did and all the way that we touched. Just when I think about someone new, I keep on forgetting to forget about you, forget about you, forget about.. so turn around and forget it, forget about you, forget about me and you.” - JoJo

 

I waited for this moment since the first time I saw her. Her curly hair reached up to her waist and her big squared eyeglasses made her hazel eyes captivating. I had to wait four years to have her this close, I’m not letting go. No way, hell no!

She’s mine at this moment and dammit, I’m having this moment! Jazielly tried to step away from me but I grasped her hips and pressed them back to mine. I looked right into her eyes and shook my head. Then, I put my index on my lips indicating to be quiet. But her eyes filled with with worry. I wondered why, did she want to leave?

“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“They’ll think I’m doing more if I stayed.”

Her eyes looked down at her shoes, she seemed so innocent it’s so uncommon for a person her age to be that way.

“I won’t let them think that Jaz, I promise.” And I was telling the absolute truth.

“Just forget about everyone, it’s just you and me. Alright?” I bent my knees a bit to catch her eyes.

She nodded and looked up. I smiled, I couldn’t wait any longer. I grabbed her neck and pulled her closer and I pressed my lips gently on her soft ones. I inhaled while she exhaled. Her timid hands made her way on my shoulders and brought me down while she went on her tippy-toes. Her lips felt amazing and I felt myself feeling impatient. I just had to taste her, I was desperate to feel her wet tongue dance with mine. I licked her bottom lip but she wouldn’t open up for me. I tried again and this time slowly slid my hands down her ass and squeezed her firm cheeks. She gasped and my tongue dived in her mouth and she tasted like… nothing?

I pulled back and looked at her. I was confused she tasted like nothing at all, her mouth was dried, is that even possible?

Jazielly hands on my shoulder shook me and yelled my name. But her voice sounded different. It wasn’t her voice I was hearing, it was similar to Matt’s.

“David, wake the hell up!”

I opened my eyes and all the shades were up making me eyes burn.

“What the fuck?” I muttered.

“You have ten minutes to get ready for school,” Matt said. He was already dressed up in plaid button up and light wash jeans.  

“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I asked irritated, grabbing my towel off the headboard.

“I did but your ass is a heavy sleeper now hurry up before I leave you,” he walked to the door and left.

I took a quick shower and got ready in less than ten minutes. I grabbed my backpack and ran downstairs. Matt was already near the door, he tossed me my keys and an apple.

“Thanks bro,” I nodded. He looked at my outfit.

“Bummy day for you, that’s a first.”

I looked down at my tan Sperry’s with my champ sweats and my black northface jacket.

“Well some asshole didn't wake me up early enough.” I walked out the door and headed to my car.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today,” Matt muttered, thinking I didn’t hear him.

“Someone is gonna walk to school if he doesn't shut up.”  

That shut his mouth. And I took a bite out of my sweet apple.

 

We entered the building as soon as the warning bell rung. I went to History, the class where Melanie was in. I shivered internally. Even thinking of her name makes me skin crawl. At least I don’t have to sit next to her. I walked in the classroom and the first face I saw was Jazielly’s. I had at least one class with her since freshman year. Never had the luck to sit next to her. I know what you’re thinking. Why the hell didn't have the guts to it my ass down next to her? Why didn't I speak to her when I had so many chances to do so? There’s many reasons why but I’ll only name one. Out of all the girls I've been with she’s the only one that made my hairs stand up for attention when she was around. The only girl that made my hands sweat and make me speechless. It’s been six days since that day in the closet, I still think of what her lips must’ve tasted like. 

“Davieee!” Melanie’s high pitched voice cooed.

‘Fuck my life!’

I mustered the bit of patience I had for her and walked over to her. I sat on the empty chair, she moved forward and gave me a quick peck on the lips I took a deep breathe and gave her the most deceiving smile I can come up with.

“‘Sup Mels.”

“I called you last night you, you didn’t pick up,” she pouted her lips. I used to love those lips.

“I didn’t mean to ditch you, I fell asleep. You know I’m a deep sleeper,” I took her fake blonde hair in my hands, it was dead. She used to have hair that felt like silk. I would caress it ‘till she fell asleep.

“You used to pick up no matter what,” she put her palms upon my upper thigh.

‘Yeah used to.’

It’s hard to believe most of this made me feel like I was special.

“I’m sorry, babe,” I said unsincerely. I’m such a fucking two face. I hate that I have to be such a fake person because of a mistake. I wish she’d leave me alone.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry I’m a little late, these old legs only walk so fast,” he coughed. I felt bad for the old guy, though I did admire him. “Everyone get back to your assigned seat.”

I got up and sat next to Jazielly, she looked at me and gave me a sly smile. Melanie and everything else faded away deep inside my conscious, just because of that one gesture. Her eyes moved to the far side of me and her genuine smile, turned into a sarcastic one. I turned to see Mels face. She flipped her hair off her shoulder and faced the teacher.

“...revolution timeline”- cough- “with the person sitting”-cough- “please keep it down, I don’t wanna yell, my throat is killling me.” Cough.

“So there’s three phases in the french revolution, first phase basically is that harvesting failed and everyone starves, peasants are mad and start to revolt-” she looks up at me then says, “Dave, you with me?”

Yes I was, it just shocks me that she’s been here for a week and she knows all this. And the fact that she doesn't stutter anymore. And also the fact that she’s so fucking beautiful.

“Yes I am, although when is this due?”

“The week after thanksgiving. Weren’t you listening?”

“Honestly no, had a rough morning.”

“Oh well we have to complete the french revolution timeline  and do a poster against or supporting the french revolution”

The bell rang but I still had one more question.

“Are we going to my house or your house to do this,” I asked while we packed our stuff.

“uhhh what?” she froze, dropping her notebook on the floor. I picked the notebook up and handed it to her. She looked at me like she remembered something, then she shook her head.

“I asked if we were-

“Let’s go Elly we gotta get to class,” Stacey interrupted.

“I gotta go Dave, hold that thought for later.”

She ran like I told her like I got sprayed by a skunk or something. Shaking my head I walked over to Jason and went to my next class.

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Jazielly POV

 

I was freaking out, what the hell was Mr. Fitz thinking? Why couldn’t I work by myself? I didn’t mind. I hated other people handwriting on my projects, I hated the way they didn’t work as hard as I did.

“I could hear the wheels turning in your head,” Stacey said, snapping me out of my little internal issues. We were in the library because the juniors were taking PSAT’s. We were in suppose to be in Creative Writing.

“He asked me to go over his house, how the hell does he expect me to show up there and be heyletsdothisthing-

“Wait slow down Elly I’m lost,” stacey scrunched her cute little button nose making me smile.

“We’re doing this project in class, right? He asked me if I wanted to go over his house or my house,” I told her.

“Yeah if you want to stick to the plan, then go to his house.”

I shook my head, “isn’t it a little too quick for that?”

“It’s never to quick to become friends,” she shrugged.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, friends.” I nodded.

We wrote in silence for a couple of minutes then she said out of no where, “don't think I forgot that you didn’t tell me about the closet situation.” She nudged my arm with her elbow.

“There’s nothing to tell,” I kept my head down, still focused on my paper.

“That's what they all say,” she said in a scarcastic tone.

“Yeah, how about Matt?” I asked feigning indifference.

She cleared her throat and asked, “What about him?”

Her focus was completely on the paper, she looked at me from the corner of her eye. I raised an eyebrow.

“Exactly.”

 

 

I walked to my bedroom and opened my backpack. The notebook Dave gave me fell on the floor and then I remembered something that I kept deep in my head. I can't believe I forgot

Matt came up to me with Melanie and Jason. It was the first time I came late to school. Well, it was excused, I had a doctors appointment. I knew exactly who they were. They were the guys that every girl wanted to be with. It’s disgusting the things I would hear the girls say about them, including Dave. But he was an exception, because he was beautiful, like those models from  Express Men. Yeah, that beautiful.

“I see the way you look at him,” Melanie said, scowling at me.

“w-w-who?”

“My b-b-b-b-oyfriend,” she was making fun of my stuttering. This is why I talk to no one, ninth grade girl who still stutters when she’s nervous.

I closed my locker, clutched my books closely to my chest.

“I d-don’t know who or w-what you’re t-talking about, Mels” I faced her, but not making any eye contact. But I did catch her eyes narrow, she hated when I called her that. But habits are so hard to break.

“David, bitch, David. Where’ve you been living, under a rock? Everyone knows we go out. You stupid, ugly slut stay away from him. He’s MINE!!!” she pushed me against my locker, making me wince from the pain that it caused on my back.

She walked away with Matt. Jason came so close to me, then grabbed my book and dropped them all on the floor. Papers scattered around, it made me angry because all those papers were in order. It was such an immature thing to do. Still, the tears were in the corner of my eyes were begging to crawl down my cheeks.

“Pathetic,” he mumbled, then finally he walked away.

I let my tears fall, I don’t know how long I stood there, but I just looked at the papers. I was just so mad at those papers for not staying in place. They should’ve stayed together.

‘Great now I’m sounding crazy.’

 

“Hey, are you okay?” A deep voice asked.

I looked up into deep green eyes and cleaned shaved face. David Veverios. I wiped my tears with the back of my sweaters.

“I-I’m f-f-ine,” I kneed down and started to pick up my papers. Without me asking he voluntarily kneed down too, to help me. He handed me the papers and a notebook. I know I would stutter if I said thank you. So instead I gave him a small real thank-you smile.

“You should do that more often,”  he said. I gave scrunched my eyebrows together.

“Smile more, it’s beautiful.” Someone called his name, he ran towards them. I stood there shocked that he would admit that. When he made it to the end of the hallway he looked over his shoulder and gave me a little wave.

That’s the day that Melanie made my life even worse. That was first and only time David actually spoke to me, without any hatred or disgust in his eyes. Six months later, they broke up. Though they still fooled around.

*END OF Flashback.*

 

A knock on my door broke my thoughts.

Mami opened my door, “Dinner is ready, Love.”

“I’ll be right down.”

 

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I finally Udpated! Hope you liked it! 

 

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Chapter Seven: Secret Discovery

- Chapter Seven: Secret Discovery [Jazielly's POV ]

 

 

“I need another story; something to get off my chest. My life gets kinda boring, need something that I can confess! 'Til all my sleeves are stained red, from all the truth that I've said. Come by it honestly I swear, thought you saw me wink, no. I've been on the brink, so... Tell me what you want to hear. Something that will light those ears; sick of all the insincere. So I'm gonna give all my secrets away!!” - OneRepubic

 

 

After dinner, I finished my homework and laid on my bed. I thought about all the things that happened to me from seventh grade in middle school until my Junior year. I tried to remember every single detail. Like how the bullying started from once in a blue moon, to once or twice a week, to almost every day constantly. And it hurt me so badly, and it made furious how I never stood up for myself. And they make it too easy for me; but I shouldn’t talk so fast. Maybe, they’re planning something big for me. But the most probable difference is that my plans are all set and done. All I gotta do is stick with the plans and stay focus. Melanie, Jason, and Matthew are my priorities. Then Raine, Victoria, and Clarice. No wait, I’m forgetting someone...

SAMANTHA!! Oh my cheese eggs, I totally forgot about that little insect.

'Yeah, I know I gotta work more on my insults.'

Anyways that’s what I gotta do, keep my head in the game. And Stacey too. I saw the way Matt and her were looking at each other at the party. Not just the party! Also, at lunch and in gym. And their looks aren’t  filled with  flirtation nor lust. No it’s like…  let me try to explain. You know when you’re on a diet and your mom is making some fudgy brownies, your brain and stomach are screaming at you for you to take a bite but you can’t?  It’s something you want but you just can’t have it  because you’re on a diet. Yeah their looks are something like that, because she has to stick to the plan. We gotta stick to the plan like Krazy glue stuck to your fingers. That’s what I kept saying in my head ‘stay focus, no distraction, gotta keep my head in the game’. Who was I trying to fool? Because when I fell asleep I dreamed of me and Dave in a clean, good smelling closet actually kissing. And there was tongue involved..

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I got ready for school. I wore my hair up, an inside-out ponytail specifically. And my outfit consisted of some American Eagle dark wash jeans, with a white t-shirt that went with a black cardigan that has white paisleys on it, knee high leather boots and a red infinity scarf. All Stacey’s work, not mine. If it were me, I would be wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt and Uggs. And finally, I convinced not to put makeup on me. My face without that cover-up trash irritates me, not like I am allergic to it. It just feels like weight on my face and she swears she doesn’t put much.

I went downstairs and made myself a fruit salad and cold green tea. Mami walked out of her room and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey love,” she greeted me, setting up the coffee maker.

“Hey Mami. Did you sleep well?” I took out my lunch bag from my backpack.

“I did, but I hate taking pills. It makes me feel fatigue the whole day then when it’s time to sleep I’m up all night,” she told me. She took out her mug and poured her coffee. Then like  almost always she takes a sip out of her her mug and burns her self. I giggled.

“Crap, why do I always do this?” She turns around, “and you little boogger, can’t even warn me,” she shakes her head. She stops and turns her head slightly to the side.

“No makeup?”

“No, I hate makeup.”

“It reminds me of when…” her sentence dies off. Mami doesn’t like to mention the transformation.

“Anyways Jazielly, you look beautiful.” she comes to kisses my cheek again and makes a comment about my daddy while walking to her room.

I put my lunch in my lunch bag and put it inside my bagpack.

“Stacey!! Let’s go!!” I holler.

I grab the keys to my car. Stacey races down the stairs and runs her hands in her hair frantically.

“I’m ready. I’m ready,” she says breathless.

“I can see that, come on,” we walk towards my car.

We make it pretty early to school, so we decided to get breakfast. I see Melanie and her usual group but I don’t see Samantha.

‘Huh, that’s weird they’re always together.’

We sat next to some girls since most tables were full. I ate a bagel while Stacey ate Fruit Loops. We ate our breakfast in silence. I had Psychology first period and it was near the cafeteria so I wasn’t rushing.

“Did you hear about Samantha?” The girl on Stacey’s right whispered. Loud enough for us to hear. Stace and I Looked at each other but we pretended like we weren’t listening.

“No I didn’t, but I’ve notice she’s been absent this whole week,” the red headed girl from my left said.

“Yeah, well I guess she was staying with her aunt because her mom died when she was little.” she stopped and took a bite of her cereal. She continued, “Well, her aunt is gravely sick in the hospital so she had to move in her Grandma’s house in Boston,” she finished her story.

Wow, even though I wanted to get her back from what she did to me. I think understand now why she might have done what she did. She was mad and didn't have no one but me to take her anger out on. But the question I want to know, is if she’s going to come back?

“Is she coming back?” The girl next to me asked. I smirked internally.

“From what I heard, she’s not coming back because we’re close to graduating and it’s better if she finishes school up in Boston. Plus it’s a lot of money to get a ticket back to Florida,” she told her friend. They finished their breakfast and left.

“Well that was very interesting,” Stacey said, wiping the corner of her lips with her napkin. I finished the last couples bites of my bagel.

“Indeed it was,” we got up and threw our trash in the garbage can.

“Aren’t you a little bothered by the fact that she’s not here?”

I shrugged.

I thought about it. Was I bothered? Yes I was. I just didn’t feel the need to get revenge towards her. In fact, I pitied her, maybe if she wasn’t the way she was, I could’ve tried to be her friend. Friend? Yeah right, I stuttered almost all through highschool, I couldn’t make one friend. I was a little ticked off that I didn’t have my chance to take my anger out on her. The only thing that could make me feel better is an apology. A heartfelt ‘I am Sorry, Jazielly’.

We went our separate ways, the only classes we had together was Gym, Creative Writing and we also had lunch together. I made it to class, took out my psychology notebook and started writing down the notes down from the board. We were learning the reasons why we have dreams  and the stages of sleeps. Pretty fascinating things.

I’m hoping of taking Psychology II next semester.

“Hey Jazielly,” Lena sat down next to me.

“Hey girl,” I smiled.

“What are you doing today?” She asked as she was copying the notes down on our books.

“I don’t know. Why?”

“I wanted to go dress shopping.”

“Dress shopping?”

“Yeah for homecoming, the Saturday after Thanksgiving,” she stopped writing and faced me giving me a confused look.

What the hot fudge pickles? Homecoming. HOMECOMING!?!??!?!

How could I forget about homecoming? I needed to remind Stace.

“I have a project to do for History. I don’t want to say yes to you and then ditch you.”

“It’s fine, another day?”

“Absolutely.”

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Last period of the day, Dave was in English. He’s one of those people who’s actually smart but you won’t notice because he is always absent or tardy. He was present in Gym but he can’t approach me in there because he’s with his group. Outside that group he’s a little bit more tolerable when he’s with all of them he acts like no one around him exist. He just sits there and does nothing.

“You guys have to bring your own independent book from now on. Reading is important for your knowledge,” Ms. Silva walked around the classroom.  “So, when you guys finish my work, I want you to read.  I don’t want to catch anyone on their phones. They will be confiscated.” She gave a look at the all the guilty students.

We were working on a research paper, independently. It had to be seven to ten pages long. It was the worse thing a teacher handed out to me. I wonder how  many pages college is going to make us do. Just thinking about it makes my brain want to explode into tiny pieces! We worked on our research paper when a tiny paper slowly made its way onto my desk.

I looked up to see Dave waiting for me to open it. When I did, it was in small handwriting with all capital letters. It said:

‘My house or your house?’

 

I picked my pencil up and wrote:

 

'Your house.'

 

I gave it back to him. It took a couple of minutes until he gave me the piece of paper back.

 

‘Meet me at the main entrance at two-thirty.’

 

I nodded. I  looked to see if anyone was looking at our little exchanging but everyone was engrossed to their papers. I raised my hand to ask to go to the restroom. When the teacher gave me a pass to go, I did was I had to do and washed my hands. There was a girl in a stall. I heard gagging sounds and coughing. It sounded hideously and painful. It made my eyes water a bit. I noticed she was kneeling down, so she must have been throwing up. I also noticed she was wearing cheetah print heels. I knocked on her stall and asked if she was okay. Suddenly it got quiet.

‘Weird, it’s like she was in control of her puking.’

When you puke, you can’t hold it back right? It like a fast reflex, it comes out automatically, no?

She never answered so I let her be. I walked back to my classroom and got on with my work.

 

School ends at two twenty-five. I had five minutes to go to my locker and put the things I need in my bag and the things I don’t in my locker. Stacey came three minutes later.

“Hey can you find a ride home?” I asked her.

“Uh maybe let me text someone,” she took out her phone and tapped her screen. I closed my locker and leaned against it waiting for her answer. About a few seconds later, her phone vibrated.

“Yes I can get a ride,” she nodded.

“Okay see ya at home,” I waved and she returned it.

It was after two thirty, so I sped walked to the main entrance. From far away I could see Dave and Melanie together. Her hands were around his neck and his hands were on her hips. It made my stomach turn. She was about to give him a kiss on the lips when he swiftly turned his head, her lips landing on his cheek. He gave her a tight smiled and said something to her while shaking his head. What he said seemed to irritate her because she walked off angrily. I looked to see her shoes.

Cheetah print high heels

‘No effing way!’

 

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Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!

I Updated; Not the most exciting chapter but it does have a lot of info.

Thanks for reading!

 

Comment/Heart! (:

Chapter Eight: The # Ten

 - Chapter 8: The # Ten [David’s POV] -

 

“Do you know where your heart is? Do you think you can find it? Or did you trade it for something, Somewhere better just to have it? Do you know where your love is? Do you think that you lost it? You felt it so strong, but nothing's turned out how you wanted. Well, bless my soul, you're a lonely soul... 'Cause you won't let go of anything you hold!" -OneRepublic

 

 

“Ever since she’s been around, you want nothing to do with me,” Melanie shoved my chest and left. What she said was true. If she can see it, then that means I’m letting my walls down, and I cannot let that happen. No way man, no way.

This is getting sickening, I can’t wait to graduate and leave. For I can be free. Because lately it feels like I’ve been falling. Not free falling. I'm falling against my will. Sometimes I can’t breathe because it feels like the air is in my face. I don’t know when I’m going to land, and the anticipation is killing me. Because I know when I land, it’s when my life will begin. When I land, I know that’s when I can run, walk. With no strings attached. I can have the freedom of being who I am. But right now. I have to be who everyone expects.

I looked at Melanie’s figure walking away. I’m not in love with her anymore, I haven’t been for such a long time but I care for her. I wish she could see we’re not good for each other. I can’t stand her, she’s so annoying. Her voice is like an incessant instrument being played the wrong way. Her hair, her body and what she’s done to it; what she is doing to it, is so bad for her. But I still feel something towards her, I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why I go back to her because when I am with her, part of me shuts down. I do care for her, I do. But you wouldn’t understand this relationship. No one does, no one knows the story. Our story.

If I close my eyes, I can still see her strawberry-blonde hair, straight at the top with waves at the very end of her tips. Her full bottom lips and  M-shaped upper lip’ that’s how they looked when they were natural. I know you might be confused, hell I’m confused. Why am I daydreaming of Mels when I’m in love with someone else? It’s so difficult. So fucking difficult. All of this makes my chest hurt, like someone ripped my heart out, and never gave it back.

I’m in the mood to listen some rock and  J Cole. Music understands me, it speaks to me.

 

“Hey.”

My stomach erupt with butterflies.

'What the hell am I saying?'

If Matt or Jason heard what I’ve been saying lately, they’d probably beat the shit out of me. I put on my  fake facade and gave her a small nod.

“I was just wondering if we can go to the store and get some supplies,” Jazielly pointed forward to where the stores next to our school were.

“Fine with me,” I nodded, again. Then, I took my wallet from my back pocket and have her two twenty dollar bills.

“Get whatever we need for the project, and get us some munchies,” I took her hand and put the money on it when I noticed she wasn’t going to cooperate. “I prefer Iced tea or cold Green tea but if there is none get me a ginger Ale. Thanks,” I  got on the motorcycle and turned it on before she said anything. I plugged my headphones then put my helmet on, completely ignoring Jazielly.

“Apparently” by J Cole was the first song that came up which was a good song. I looked at Jazielly still standing there, her calm appearance was now replaced by an irritated one. I tapped my wrist like I had on a watch. She looked at me and raised her eyebrows, basically saying ‘you-can’t-be-serious’. But I was.

I tapped the kickstand with the back of my heel. Maybe she will get the hint, and start walking to her car. When  I looked back, she was heading towards a burgundy Acura ILX. It was beautiful, the perfect car for her. You can imagine what Melanie had. A punch buggy, at least the color wasn’t pink; it was baby-blue. Though the headlights had eyelashes. It’s incredible how much she’s changed since eighth grade.

Jazielly got her car and then we headed to the store.

She went in, while I stood on the bike. I feel like it would be to weird if we went inside together. I mean, the only time we were “close” was that time we were in the closet. And back in freshman year when everything went downhill. I wish we can go back to the old days, where appearances didn't matter. Now, I feel like that’s what matters nowadays.

Like, who has better shoes? Who has the fastest car? What labels did we wear? Who has bigger boobs? Who has a rounder ass? I can keep going but it’ll get to me and I will be thinking about it all day long. Then, I’ll get this intense look all day. I don’t want that because people will start asking questions.

After ten minutes of waiting, I put on “Welcome to My life” by Simple Plan.

“Do you ever feel like breaking down?”

 

Always. There’s never a day that goes by where I don’t feel like screaming at the world.

“Do you ever feel out of place? Like somehow you just don't belong. And no one understands you.”

 

The last time I felt where I belonged was in eighth grade. Where I played football without worrying if my dad was gonna flip on me if I loosed. Without worrying about girls and the future.

“Do you ever want to run away? Do you lock yourself in your room? With the radio on turned up so loud, that no one hears you screaming.”

I want to run without looking back.

 

“Are you desperate to find something more. Before your life is over? Are you stuck inside a world you hate? Are you sick of everyone around? With their big fake smiles and stupid lies. While deep inside you're bleeding. “

I’ve always wondered what was my purpose for being in this world. I feel like this every single day in my life.  This why I need music. Music speaks to me in a way a regular human beings don’t. In a way that each word gets to me, and it understand what I go through. Without judging me.

 

A tap on my shoulder took made me come back into this shitty world.

“Hey, guess what? They had Iced tea,” she held up the bags which had like three bottles of Iced tea, and plenty of munchies.

I honestly felt like a dick for not going inside, She was carrying like five bags filled with big and heavy things. I don’t deserve her kindness.

'Why was she this way? Why did she come back? Shouldn’t she be angry at the world?'

 

“Hey Dave, are you okay?” She scrunched her eyebrows together and tilted her head, as if trying to break me apart and see the inside of me. The things I hide so profoundly, for no one to see.

“I’m perfect,” I winked, and she fucking blushed.  But then she shook her head and gave me all the heavy bags and walked to her car.

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My mom, let us not talk about that shit.

My dad was at work, like always. So I had the house to myself, except the housekeeper and the chef of the house. Julia was in the kitchen making rice, beans and stewed beef. Yamil was probably doing laundry. She needed everything clean. Of course, it was her job to keep the house cleaned. But she needed to see the house clean or she would start cleaning all over again. That is probably the reason why she’s been our employee since I was like five.

We headed up to my room, because the Julia was in the kitchen and I didn’t want to bother her with my music.

I always felt anxious of bringing someone in my room, that’s why I barely invite people to come inside it. My room was a part of me, so yeah.

My bedroom set was black. My rug was black and , my walls were royal blue. My night stands was filled with trophies from football, track and volleyball. My bed was king sized and my sheets were blue, grey and black stripes.

My walls were decorated with graphic designs I made in school, with my favorite  music artists, logos and other things. Next to my bed I had boxes of shoe stacked up. I had Adidas, New Balances, Nikes (KD’s, Roshe Run, Air Maxes, Foams, Air Forces, Janoskis,  & Lebrons), Converses, Vans and most of all Jordans. I had dress shoes like Polos and Sperry's but they were in my closet. My fifty-two inch tv was hanged up on the corner of the walI. And I  had a table to do my school stuff on.

My room was my safe haven. Where no one comes and bothers me. Where I can be me.

Jazielly took her surrounding. Examining every single detail of the room. Her eyes roamed from my trophies to the pictures on the wall, to the tv and then to my boxes of shoes. Then she looked at my stereo─ I forgot to mention I had one. And my Beats on my table, (I’m telling you, she’s not missing one thing) and then her eyes went to my bed. Hey eyes stayed there for a while. Then hazel eyes looked back at me. They twinkled like she knew something I didn't know. And I didn’t…

“Your room is awesome, not what I was expecting,” she walked to the bed... my bed and sat down. Then she started jumping on it while she was sitting down.  “Not one noise, double awesome!” Her eyes lit up like a little kid.

I wonder if she knew what she was insinuating. Was her comment innocent? Knowing Jazielly as much as I do, it was.

I dropped my backpack on the floor. I took my shoes off and put them in the correct box. After, I took my jacket and hanged it in the closet. Next to all my other ones.

“Should we get this started?” I asked taking the posters out the bag and placing it on the table. I dropped all the markers, sparkly letters and some other weird shit on the table. She went all out. She wasted all my money, too. I expected at least ten dollars back. I have a feeling she did it on purpose. For making her take the money.  I sat down on my leather rolling chair.

“I think for the poster you should make one of those design like on the wall,” she pointed.

I nodded.

“ And we can just figure out the important things we need for the timeline today,” she grabbed the other chair and sat down next to me.

For an hour, we ate all the candy, chips and finished the plan for today. We began cleaning up when all the markers started rolling off the table. I was planning on picking them up, but Jazielly had a mind of her own making us bump heads. Well not exactly, her head bumped into my nose. Which resulted to my nose bleeding.

“Oh my gosh, I am so so sorry,” she stood up, looking for something. For what? I’m not so sure.

She opened all my doors until she found the bathroom then, went inside.

I tilted my head back, that way I wouldn’t make such a mess.

She came out of the bathroom with a small wet towel.

“What the heck are you doing?” She asked with a rigid voice.

“Whaa’?” my voice came out a little deeper than usual.

“You’re not supposed to tilt your head back,” she walked up  me and handed me the towel. “If you do then you swallow your blood… which you shouldn't do.” She shook her head like she couldn't believe I didn't know that.

She came up to me and told me what to do. She instructed me to sit up and squeeze the soft part of my nose together. Keep them closed together for ten minutes. ‘Lean forward, don’t lean back’ she said that phrase a couple times during those ten minutes. And she cleaned up the mess during those ten minutes. When the longest ten minutes of my life was up, I cleaned my nose while she got her things together. But it was only four and I didn’t want her to leave. Because I’m selfish and I wanted her here with me. I finally got her all to myself. I needed to do something.

She looked up at me and gave me a sweet smile. The one that warmed my heart up. The one that pointed out that my heart was actually active.

“Well, see you soon,” she was about to walk to the door when I grabbed her hand. It was a fast reflex.

I pulled her close to me, so close to me that I could feel all her curves. From head to toe. I wanted to lick her neck, taste her lips, her body. I wanted to get myself lost in her light brown eyes. I wanted to feel the outside of her body and what it felt like to be deep inside her. I wondered if it would feel as good as it did in my wet dreams. I brought my fingers up to get neck and traced her collarbone with my index finger.

“Jaz,” my voice came out raspy.

“Y-yeah?” Her voice came out breathless, heading straight to my dick. She was so innocent and pure.

“Thank you,” I dipped my head and ran my lips across the side of her neck, she shivered against me.

“I…”

‘Give me Love’ by Ed Sheeran came out of no where. Once again, making us split. She looked relieved but at the same time disappointed. She took a deep breath and answered. At least I wasn’t the only one that was affected.

“I’ll be there in like ten minutes,” She whispered and hung up.

I officially hated the number ten.

“I-I gotta go home. See you. And um text me to meet up,” she said in a hurry.

She was almost at the door when she added, “and you’re welcome, Dave.”

I walked over to the table and saw a piece a paper. It was her number and a smile face. Usually I get a winky face or a kissy face. It’s the small things that make her look so pure. It was refreshing and such a freaking turn on.

I definitely need to take a cold shower.

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Wow, I finally updated. 

David is so hard to write, that's why it took me so long to write.

((((My gosh David, you're lucky I love you!!!!!!))))))))

 

Anyways if you have any confusions about the shoes, let me know I'll explain. Or on anything else! (:

 

Second time in a row with OneRepublic. They're unique and I felt like that song was perfect for this chapter. I hope you guys realize that the music isn't there to look pretty, it's part of the chapter. It's like a little hint of what could happen in the story, please don't ignore it. 

 

Anyways I hoped you like the chapter. Give me feedback!!!!! 

HEART/COMMENT! :D 

 

Thanks for readinggggg! xoxoxoxo. ♥

Chapter Nine: Seriously Serious

 Chapter Nine- Seriously Serious  [Jazielly’s POV]

 

“Because of you, I never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me. Because of you... I am afraid." -Kelly Clarkson

 

 

My mind was in an infinite race. Seriously, where was the finish line?

 

David was about to kiss me and I almost let him. As soon as I get home, I need to go straight to Stacey and give her the biggest hug in the world. She saved my life (okay that was a bit exaggerate but you know what I mean). I’m being so serious, I need to learn how to be stronger than this. I parked in my garage and sat there for a while. His lips, they are so so soft. I can close my eyes and remember his lush lips like I was right back in the closet. Like I was right back in his room against the door.  Do you know how many times I dreamed of for that same exact thing to happen to me? In ninth grade he was the first and only boy I fantasized about. He taught me what it was like to have a real crush. It wasn’t like I was obsessed with him. But you see, a girl like me... No let me rephrase that: a girl like the old me, couldn’t get someone as handsome and beautiful like him. And wow!

The truth hurts, so badly.

And then it hit me, right across my face. If I never had gotten this transformation, he never knew what the old me was like. He’d never even give me a second glance. I remember all those years, his eyes were filled with hatred and disgust.

A loud knock on my window startled me.

“Hey,” I unlocked my car and waved Stacey to come in. She walked over the passenger door and sat down.  I turned on the car, not completely. Just for the heater to turn on and the music to flow. I put it down a little bit, that way I can hear Stace speak to me.

“I feel like we haven’t had a serious conversation in a while,” Stacey muttered, while playing with her brown long hair. Stacey was beautiful. Light skin, hazel eyes, tall for the average women. I sighed and played with my steering wheel.

“I know maybe we should talk now, you sounded very weird on the phone,” I then played with my nails. I hated making eye contact, during serious conversations. Kenneth would be so disappointed with me.  

“Um, well… I feel like I should tell you but at the same time I just know you’ll be very angry with me,” she looked out the window and crossed her arms around her chest. Almost as if she was protecting herself.

“Is it that bad?” Now she was making me bite my nails.  And I’m not much of a nail biter.

“I umm.. I,” she swallowed then took deep breathe. “I know what we can do to get David back, I’ve been wanting to tell you but I know you’ll back down.” She gave me a small smile. I looked at her deadpan in the eyes. Her smile dropped, she knew I wasn't convinced, but I won’t push her. She can tell me when she’s ready.

“And what’s this amazing plan that I must hear?” I picked up my phone and looked through my playlist. I put on ‘Broken’ by Lifehouse.

“Okay get prepared for the awesomest plan,” She turned her whole body toward me. “I know how to get Matt, Melanie and David at the same time. I know your mom said to dig their dirty secrets and all that. But let’s kill two birds with one stone,” she stopped and thought about what she said. Then continued, “ actually in this case it’ll be three birds but you get what I mean,” she waved her hands.

“Alright Stacey, just get on with it.” I threw my hands up and exhaled.

“Anyways, I know I said you and Dave to be friends, but maybe you guys should be more, that’ll be Melanie’s worse nightmare,” she eyes lit up like a million candles. I stopped breathing. I don’t think Stace noticed she made all the air out of my lungs because she carried on.

“And then when he falls for you, break him. But you have to make sure Melanie breaks, too. And I can do the same with Matt. I know I can make him fall for me.” .

I looked at her. I checked to see if her eyes were dilating or if they were red. I checked her arms to see if she had any track marks. I looked at her nose to check if she had any white powder on her nose she forgot to clean. She looked perfectly fine to me. I still wasn’t sure. So I got closer, to see if I smelled anything funny. But only the perfume ‘Tease’ from Victoria’s Secret filled my nose.

“Stace,” I whispered.

“Yeah, so what do you think,” She looked like a little kid who got a present for being a good girl.

“Stace, are you on something? It’s okay if you are. I will support you, be by your side.” I touched her arm.

She then busted out laughing. Like if I was Kevin Hart, who told the best joke in the world. She stopped but when she looked at my downbeat face, she started laughing again. She even slapped her knees a couple times.

“You see what I’m talking about? Are you high? Me and David? He will never like me! Not that I care!” My voice wavered. The thought made me so mad.

“Did you forget how much he hurt me? Did you forget all the stories I told you? Huh?” The angrier I became, the higher my voice got. When she saw I was mad, she stopped and looked at me with an angry expression herself.

“Hey, no I’m not high. And don’t forget I’m doing this for you. I made this plan thinking it was the best way to get all of them back. Because you’ve been in school for a week and a half and you’ve done nothing but be around David. And if you hate him so much, then it’ll be easy for you. Don’t yell at me for helping you.” She pointed at me.

We both were angry, it made me feel hot. The car was suddenly felt feverish. I turned off the car and got out. I slammed the door, with all the force I could manage. Hot tears streamed down my face. I stomped my way back into the house and went into my room.

I thought about what Stacey said. It’s true that she’s doing this for me. I know she’s on my side. And I do know that she didn’t mean any harm; she was just trying to help. But I know for a fact what it feels like to get heart broken. Because even though David never did anything physically, he hurt me the most. I know why, because he was the guy I fell for. And it sliced me right through the heart everytime he sat there without doing anything, while they had their fun with me.

I wonder if it was a mistake to come back. I often wondered if I had it in my heart to hurt someone as much as they hurt me.

I’m still wondering the same exact thing, right now at this moment. I know I’m not heartless. I know it would be difficult to hurt someone the way I’ve been hurt. But am I that merciless? But what they did was unacceptable. They deserve it.

Muhammad Ali said, “I’m a fighter. I believe in there eye-for-an-eye business. I’m no cheek turner.”  

But Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.”

They’re both have a valid point, but which one is the right thing to do?

Right now, I don’t know. All I know is that I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep.

And I did.

Moments later, I felt the bed dip. But no arms went around me. I knew it was Stacey, she was giving me space. I also knew it was her way of telling she was here for me, no matter what decision I made.

 

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This is the shortest chapter I have made. But I'm proud with it!

Thanks for reading! Enjoy (:

 

Heart/Comment/Feedback<3

Chapter Ten: Change of Plans

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Not going to BS you, this chapter is a bit intense. Even the lyrics I chose are different then what I usually put in a chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

 

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Chapter Ten: Change of Plans [Jazielly’s POV]

 

“F$%k this clock! Imma make them Eat this watch. Don't believe me Watch! Imma win this race and I’ma come back and rub my sh&#t in your face, B@&ch! I found my niche, you gon' hear my voice.. 'Til you're sick of it, you ain't gonna have a choice; if I gotta scream 'til I have half a lung. If I have half a chance, I'll grab it, Rabbit Run!” -Eminem

 

 

I did nothing this whole weekend. Well, except speak with my dad in the phone, and went to speak with Kenneth, my counselor. It was a tedious weekend for me. But it did give me time to think. I’m not a heartbreaker. I don’t know what I was thinking coming back to school! I should’ve been home schooled or transferred to a private school. But no, I was focused on revenge, now look where it got me! No where because in reality, I know my feelings for David didn’t fade away. I just locked them deep inside a bolt in my heart , and wrapped it around securely with chains. But those chains were loosening each span we looked at each other, each time we spoke, and each second we spent time together. So no, I’m not going along with Stacey’s plan. I’m just focusing on finishing school and that’s it.

I don’t care about the revenge, I don’t care what they did to me. Life goes on; it’s time to move forward not backwards.

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It was the penultimate period on Monday. I always have the urge to use the bathroom at the end of the day. Probably because I drink a lot of water during the day. I opened the door in the bathroom, thankfully the door didn’t squeak. I heard it again. The gagging and choking. I soundlessly closed the door. I tiptoed as best as I could  with these stupid wedges. This is getting serious, I miss my Uggs. I slowly walked near the door. I tried to take a peek of the persom in the stall. I just had a feeling I knew who was inside the stall.

I saw Melanie today. She had red ankle strapped heels and had white jeans.

I couldn’t see who was in there because it was the last stall, and it was also the biggest stall. The toilet was located in the back. It frustrated me I couldn't go inside a stall because of these dumb wedges. I wasn’t risking being discovered. So, I stood near the door waiting for the unknown human being in the stall to come out. A lifetime later, the toilet was flushed. Then the click-clacks I knew so well approached me. I crossed my arms, help my head high and put on a little smirk. I wasn’t intimidated. Not anymore.

The girl came out.

Her eyes widened.

She sucked in her breath.

“Well, Melanie. What a pleasant surprise,” I walk over the sink.

“Jaz-e-elly, I was I could the same,” she walked towards the sink next to mine.

“Aww, that actually almost hurt me. Almost,” I feigned a sad face, then winked at her. I rinsed my hands the turned off the water.

“You think you’re better than me. You got this little change, now you’re stronger than me?” She turned to me, her eyes filled with hatred.

“No, I am a better person. That’s why you betrayed me and then torture me, because I was better than you,” I replied back.

“Hahaha, not even in your dreams, bitch!” She closed the faucet and faced me. Then suddenly she flicked her hands, splats of water landed on my face and shirt.

It made my blood boil but I stayed calm. Because I am the bigger person.

“You think you’re gonna win, but I’m one step ahead.” She smirked. She flipped her hair shoulder and started to walk away.

“You think so?” I called out. I analyzed my nails, just like she used to do.

“I know so.” She was so confident. What was I thinking about not getting revenge? I won’t break Dave’s heart but I can break her.

“You think you’re clever,” I tsked shaking my head. I walked over to the paper towels and cleaned me face.

“Did you know me and David spent his Friday with me?” I leaned on one of think sinks and crossed my legs. Disbelief was written all over her face, but it was quickly replaced.

I tapped my chin trying to look thoughtful.

“No I don’t think you did, because you walked off on him. And he was suppose to be in football practice.” I chuckled.

She walked over to me and grabbed my throat. I could easily raise my arm and take hers down in a second. Then after turn my body and use it as the force. But  it was unnecessary because I knew I was getting to her. Exactly what I wanted. Plus, she was just trying to alarm me, but her group was the ones who did her dirty work. 

I cleared my throat and continued.

“What would Dave say if I told him I saw you in the bathroom, puking your guts out?” Her hand grasped my neck tighter. I realized that I did have to use that self defense move.  And I did. Which took her by surprise. I was behind her, her hands were trapped, because I had a firm grip on her wrists.

“I knew it was you on Friday. I saw the cheetah print heels. No one has those in this school,” I whispered harshly in her ear.  “You may think you’re one step ahead, look again Mels… why am I back? I promised myself to come back for you’s. And I won’t give up, until I’m satisfied with my work.” I let her go and nudged her forward. Making her take a few steps forward.

She turned at me, she might have been taken aback, but she wasn’t afraid not yet.

“I see you're not a weak bitch anymore. But don’t forget Jaz-e-elly. I run this school. I’m still somebody.” she held her head high. And I’m not going to lie, I gave her props. She wasn’t a quitter. “Have you ever wondered why Daviee still with me? ‘Cause deep down I’m his first everything and he’ll always have some type of love for me.”

“Until he opens his eyes and realize who you really are. You have blinded him, but you’ll see─ someone will replace you and recognize what a waste of time you were.” I claimed.

She snickered and rolled her eyes.

“Okay sweetie. Whatever you say,”

The bell rang meaning English was over, and Melanie opened the bathroom door.

“By the way.. I love games, so we can play it until you give up” she winked then waved.

I don’t care how cocky and arrogant I sound right now. I will play this game.. and I will win. 

 

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I was at gym. I had my black Nike Free Running shoes. Today we were doing tracks. First half had obstacles which was against one person. And the second half, two people against two others. Also we had to finish a mile in less than twelve minutes; if not you failed. The mile I could do in probably eight and half minutes. I usually can do much better but The obstacles were going to kill me. I never joined the track team and I never participated in gym in my previous years because it was torture. I hated Mr. Link so much because he’s make me do these exercises that were too much for my condition. Back then, I didn’t know how to control it. My breathing got so bad, sometimes other teachers had to convince him to make me stop playing.

Anyways, that’s why I'm motivated to show him I’m better than him. I don’t mean to be egoistical. I just know if I ever had a student with breathing issues or anything else. I wouldn't put them in the plight of running too much or doing anything where it was bad for them. It just isn’t me.

“Okay for the first half─

Jason versus Jude

Sean versus Harold

Melanie versus Jazielly

Victoria versus Stacey

Lena versus Clarice

David versus Matt….” He continued while everyone got prepared for their match. It’s like destiny was either against me or with me.

“And for the second half, it would be boy-girl pairs. So here’s the list:

Stacey and Matt versus Jude and Lena

David and Jazielly versus Jason and Melanie

Victoria and Clarice versus Raine and Aleeya…”

Destiny was against me.

 

Few minutes passed after he was done with the list. Since Jason was in the football team and Jude wasn’t, Jason won. Although Jude wasn't bad at running, he just needed more practice. After Harold and Sean raced, Melanie and I were up. I put my hair in a good ponytail and made sure my shoes were tied. I was ready. I didn’t even waste my time giving her my attention. I stayed looking forward, I stayed focus.

“On your mark…..”

A pregnant silence. It’s like everyone knew we didn’t like each other. The tension was almost palpable by how thick it was.

“Get set…”

I bent my knees and took a deep breath.

 

Mr. Link blew the whistle and I was out! I Inhaled through and exhaled out the mouth. I did okay with the first jump. Then after jumping two more, I got the hang of it. I was ahead, I was feeling good. But all of the sudden, I fell. I don’t know how she tripped me, but no one noticed. She made it look like I fell. Everyone but Dave encouraged me to get up and keep going. His face were focused on Melanie's feet. Then he looked at me, his eyes were trying to tell me something. ‘Keep going’ his eyes said. And I did. And she beat me, but she cheated so it was okay. I’m not going to make a  big deal out of it.

Victoria won Stacey and Clarice won Lena. Hey! If it’s valid point, they’re on the cheerleading team and my friends don’t even run for their lives. David won Matt. Matt was quick but David ran quicker. And man, did his butt look nice in those basketball shorts.

After that, we got into our groups. Dave decided we I should go first. It surprised me he realized how fast I was when we did track in gym. He told me that he could beat Jason, and if I tried hard enough I can beat Melanie. Melanie was a cheerleader so she did run to stay fit. He also told me not to stay to close to her. That’s when I knew that he knew what she did. Mr. Link gave me a bright orange flag, I had to run a mile and pass the flag Dave when I accomplished the track.

I began. I blocked everything and everyone. It was just me and the track. My heart pounded like drums in my chest, letting me know I was alive. The sweat pouring down my face showed how hard I was working. Breathing fresh air, the wind caressing my face, made feel free. To me this wasn’t a competition. To me this was freedom. Before I knew it, I reached Dave. He gave me a bright smile.

He tapped my shoulder and said, “you did good.”

Then he ran off. Mr. Link came up to me and gave me a nod. He showed me my time. Six minutes and forty two seconds.

“Ms. Yung was right. You should join the track time.” With that he walked away. And it’s the nicest thing he ever said to me… I still strongly dislike that old fart!  

David and I won the race. Melanie’s time was eight minutes and two seconds. Jason’s time was six minutes and  ten seconds and David’s time was five minutes and two seconds.  It made me feel good. The gym teachers gave us enough time to a shower and change. When I came out I saw Matt, Jason and David in the corner into a deep conversation. I hid in a corner to hear them. I feel like I’ve been doing a lot of sneaking around lately.

 

“I saw the way you looked at her, man. You know who she is,” Matt whispered harshly, right in Dave’s face.

“Yeah, and you smiled at her. You never smile anymore,” Jason put his two sense in.

“Did you forget all the things I’ve done to her?” Matt questioned, he pointed at himself.

“All the things I did to her?” Muttered firmly, his hands waved around frantically.

“Guys, stop. There’s nothing between me and Jazielly. She’s no one but my partner. I’d never be with a girl like her,” he explained to them.

I gotta admit, those words hurt. He tried to kiss me on Friday! And how dare him call me Jazielly?!

“Plus, she’s probably still a virgin. Someone has to pop her cherry before I ever get with her,” he shrugged.

They all laughed and slapped him in the back, as if he won the SuperBowl.

 

That shot me in the heart like a bullet. We’ll see about that. Forget everything I said before; I need to talk to Stacey real quick. Change of plans, he will have his heart broken right after Prom. I’ll make sure of it.

 

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Chapter Eleven: Red Birthstone

- Chapter Eleven: Red Birthstone [Jazielly's POV] - 

 

“And another one bites the dust, oh why can I not conquer love? And I might have thought that we were one, wanted to fight this war without weapons. And I wanted it, I wanted it bad. But there were so many red flags. Now another one bites the dust. Yeah, let's be clear, I'll trust no one! You did not break me, I'm still fighting for peace. Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart, but your blade—it might be too sharp. I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard, I may snap and I move fast. But you won't see me fall apart, 'cause I've got an elastic heart.” -Sia

 

I wasn't just mad. No I wasn’t. I was angry, furious, offended. My blood was sizzling, my ears felt like they were on fire. I think he did forget what they did to me. How they beat me, cut my clothes off, and then violated me? I never felt so cheap in my life. It was the worse thing ever. I need to remember what it felt like when they made my life a living hell. Because that's what I am actually doing─ forgetting. And I can’t. I needed this.

I needed to get Melanie back. For every slap, every insult, for every time she spit at me, for ever time she tripped me, for every time she abused me, for making my life miserable, for every blood I bled, for betraying my trust. For everything.

I needed to get Matt back. For all the time he touched me, for every time he humiliated me, for every time I walked pass the hallway and he called me names. For every stolen kisses he’s taken from me. Every time he tried or did succeed to taste me. For everything.

I needed to get Jason back. For every time he held me, while they hit me, For downgrading me, for the times where he would help Matt and Melanie. And for trying to unhook my bra. For everything.

Lastly, David. I needed to get him back. For every time he stood there just watching me get tormented. For every time I pleaded him with my eyes to help me. For every time he looked the other way. For every time he hurt me. For every smile I gave him. For thinking of him. For everything and for now. For causing my heart to ache, or saying what he said to Matt. For making me believe people actually can change.

Boy, was I wrong!

These main for people are my focus. Samantha is gone, but if I ever see her I will confront her. Clarice, Raine and Victoria, I’ll get them back. I don’t know when. One thing I know is… I am so done playing nice.

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[David’s POV]

 

 “Plus, she’s probably still a virgin. Someone has to pop her cherry before I ever get with her,” I shrugged.

 

As soon as that statement came out of my mouth. I realized how much of a coward I was. I realized what a mistake I’ve made. I realized I was an idiot because Jazielly was more than some girl I mess around with. She deserved better. I realized that I was such a fake man. I am no man, I’m a chicken.

 

Because When I turned my head and saw long curly hair jogging away. I knew she heard. I knew something was coming for us. I just felt it in my bones. And I was gonna let it happen. And knowing myself I will not bring it up, I will not apologize and I will act as if it never happened. As if I never saw Jazielly jog away after those words left my lips.

 

“So, who are you going to Homecoming with?” Matt asked.  We went back inside the locker room to get our things.

“No one, I’m going solo,” I shrugged. I grabbed my jacket and my backpack.

“Forreal?” His eyebrows shot up.

“Yeah, Melanie is doing some crazy shit man. She’s always on my case, I can’t anymore!” I shook my head. Matt only knows a bit about our story. Jason knows what Melanie told him since they’re pretty close.

“You know what will happen if you leave her.”

He doesn’t need to remind me.

“And you made her a promise, you can’t break promises,” Jason butted in.

“Don’t you think I know this, already?” I said through my clenched teeth.

“I just… you’re my brother and I don’t want to see you get brought down.” Matt said. His phone vibrated and his eyes lit up. “I gotta go, though. See you later.” I gave him a questioning gaze. We pounded our knuckles then he left.  We looked at the door Matt walked out of and then we looked at each other. Something was changing Matthew. Better yet, someone was. I wonder who. That’s something I will figure out eventually.

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I am laying down my bed, staring the ceiling with my hand crossed behind my head. Homecoming is right around the corner and I know Melanie is going to be so mad. She’s going to prom alone. Well not really because if she really wanted too, she could get a date. We’re not even together, so I don’t have to take her. There was only one person I wanted to take. I wish I can claim her, make her mine. I wish she didn’t hear what I said about her. I wonder if we’re still going to work on the project together. I want to see her, but I am afraid to look at her. I remember all those times I saw her struggle against Melanie, Matt and Jason. Out of all the people that tortured Jazielly, they were the worse.

 

- FLASHBACK -

 

I was angry at Melanie. She dyed her strawberry blonde hair, to a pale blonde. It was almost white! She fucked up her hair. It doesn’t even feel soft anymore. I can’t believe she’s changing herself, to look better than these other bitches. I have told her so many times she’s beautiful just the way she is. Why is she changing herself? I hate it. I flipped out on her now she’s mad at me─ which I could care less. I’m just hoping Jazielly doesn’t appear anywhere around here. Because I know Mels is going to take her anger out on her. And I don’t want to go with it today. I can’t take her eyes filled with despair, pleading me to help her. I can't do anything about it. I’m a coward. I don’t have the heart or the balls to stop them.

Melanie, Matt, Jason and me, we were still in hallway. We didn’t want to go to class early today, so we’d go when  class was almost over. It gave us enough time to catch up on some missing notes and papers. Fifteen minutes into the period, the door from the end of the hallway opened. I longed so deep inside me that Jazielly wouldn’t come out of that door. But by the way my heart accelerated, I just knew it was her. And when Melanie hopped off the locker, I knew she was going to take out all the frustration she had, on Jazielly.

Jazielly always looked down when she walked. She never payed attention what was in front on of her. So when Melanie got in the middle of Jazielly’s way, she bumped into Mels. She looked up and fear was brimming from her eyes. Melanie shoved her forcefully, making Jazielly fall on the floor. It made me want to grab Mels by the arms and do the same to her, but worse. But I couldn’t and I wouldn’t. So I stood there, with an impassive gaze at Melanie and Jazielly. Melanie grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up. Tears that Jaz tried to hide, escaped her eyes. She whimpered, making me sick with disgust. I was disgusted at myself for witnessing this and not doing anything about it. When Jaz stood up, she kept her eyes onto Melanie, never backing down. Sometimes she’ll beg for them to stop and sometimes she takes the hits like nothing. Sometimes her eyes just stare at whoever is doing the damage, not taking her eyes off them; her eyes filled contempt. And sometimes she looks at me, imploring for me to help her. But I don’t.

“What do you have there little bitch?” Matt says. His hands touch her neck and she flinches. She has a necklace with a red birthstone on it. She never wears jewelry. It’s the first time she wears it.

“She never wears jewelry,” Jason points out, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

Melanie’s eyes widened, like she came up with an idea. FUCK! This is not good. She snaps her fingers and then points at the bathroom. Matt and Jason grab Jazielly from her arms and drag her to the girl’s bathroom. And yes they do go in the girl’s bathroom, I do too.  I secure the door, that way no one will come in.

Jazielly hasn’t made a sound, but I have a feeling she knows what's going to happen. Matt and Jason toss her inside a bathroom stall. I can’t see what’s going on because I have to make sure no one comes in the bathroom. But I hear Jazielly crying.

And she speaks up, which rarely happens.

“P-please don’t flush i-it, my g-g-grandma gave i-it to me,” she stutters, her voice is hoarse from crying so much. It breaks my heart in half.

“What the fuck does your grandma have to do with this?” Matt asks.

“She d-d-ied right before she g-gave it to me,” she murmurs.

Everything is silent. All you could hear is the droplets of water from the faucet hitting the sink. Then I hear a ‘blop’. I might be an asshole, but Melanie is worse. She fucking heartless. A cold bitch.  She won’t flush it, she can't be that merciless.  

“I will flush it, unless you want to get it” Melanie says. I hear shuffling.

“Ah-Ah-Ah with your mouth,” Melanie speaks up.

Then I hear sobs, that makes my stomach clench- not in a good way- I notice from the bottom of the stall that Jazielly is on her knees. Then, her whole body bends down. She puts her face in her hands and her body quivers. She picks her head up, she gets closer to the toilet. She’s gonna do it. The necklace means so much to her, that she will get it with her mouth. Just the thought of her beautiful pouty lips being tainted with such dirty water makes me nauseated.

Matt and Jason chuckle. Fuck this, I can’t take it. I walk over the stall and I see Jazielly’s head halfway down the toilet.

I grab her by the arms and pull her up.

“What the fuck are you thinking?” I shake my head at her.

She looks at me with fear with a hint of gratitude. I get down on one knee and push my sleeves up to my elbows.

“Babe, what are you doing?” Mels sneers at me.

“Her fucking grandmother died, have a damn heart,” I scoff. I dip my hand in the clear but nasty water and grab the gold necklace and to Jaz.

“Here, now get the fuck out my face!” I say, trying to sound harsh. But deep down I wanna wipe her tears away with my sleeves and kiss her sweet lips. She didn’t have to be told twice; she ran out the bathroom like it was on fire. I walk over the sink and wash my hands. When I walk back to them, I notice Melanie and the guys are looking at me, with bemusement.

 

To distract them from my odd behavior,  I grabbed Mels hand and pull her close to me. I crush her against the stall and kiss her chapped lips. Jason and Matt get the hint and leave the bathroom.

 

I shove my tongue into her mouth and she moan loudly─ lately that shit has been getting annoying. Her hand go up to my hair and she tugs it lightly. I kiss her vigorously, biting her lower lip, sucking her tongue. Our teeth clash, our tongues rubbing against each other. I break our kiss and slowly make my way down her neck. She tastes and smells like strong perfume and she groans. I try to block it out picturing smooth skin. I pull her shirt down, she has no bra on, so her breast spill free. I suck her pink nipples and pinch the other one with my hand. When her and travel down my stomach and make their way to my belt. the bell rings.

We break apart, while her blue eyes are filled with desire. All I can see is brown ones, filled with hatred. So I leave her there hanging. She calls my name but I ignore her. I walk out of school angry at myself for being so weak. Because that is what I am… weak.

 

- End Of Flashback -

 

Matt and Jason did most of the dirty work. I was present every time but once or twice.  But she surprised me today, because she took no shit from Melanie. She kept moving forward. She even won her in track. Melanie was the fastest girl in school. Obviously not anymore. Although, she did trip Jaz. It makes me wonder if that’s the  only way she can win. By cheating. Something in my mind agrees with me but I push the thought away. It’s not necessary at the moment. Right now, I just want to see Jazielly.

So I text her:

 

‘Wanna finish this project today?’

 

I know she might ignore me. To kill time, I get my laptop out and start a design for the poster we have to make. She wanted me to make graphic design of Uncle Sam and the French army.  I Looked up pictures of Uncle Sam and French symbols. My phones vibrates, I open turn on my screen. It says:

 

'Okay. I will be there in a half hour.’

 

It’s five thirty, I know by the time we’re done with this project I won’t have the energy to take a shower. I decide to take a quick shower that way when we’re done, I can hit the sheets whenever I want. I take out navy blue boxers and black Champ sweats. I also take out a pair of socks… I hate my feet. I turn on the shower and brush my teeth. When I’m finished, I go in the shower and wash my myself with my Axe Bodywash. I hear my bedroom door open. A few moments later, it closes.

It must be Yamil, taking my dirty clothes. When I’m done, I wrap my towel around my waist. I open the door and make myself back to my room. I don’t notice that someone is actually in my room. Dropping my towel, someone yells. I turn around, to check who it was is but I forget to cover myself.

“Oh my Gosh, please c-cover y-yourself,” Jazielly covers her eyes. Her cheeks are red and her lips are in a thin line. I wish I could say that my dick behaved and didn’t erect. But it’s not my fault she stuttered. It’s definitely not my fault that she looks so cute and innocent.

“Are you d-dressed?” She asks.

“No.”

“Hurry up. Oh my pickle berry soups, this is mortifying!”

'Did she just say ‘Oh my pickle soups’? Who says that?'

Not wanting to make her wait any longer, I slip on my sweat pants with no underwear- saves more time- and tell her I am dressed. While I’m putting on my socks, she squeals and turns around again.

“Where’s your shirt?” She whispers harshly.

“No shirt, get used to it.” I mutter.

I sit on my bed and grab my laptop.

“Jaz, c’mon I wanna get this over with.”

She sighs and faces me. She looks at me, and then slowly her eyes make their way down my chest. Suddenly, her cheeks turn so red, making me wonder what is going on inside her head. She bites her lips, and her eyes turn dreamy. Nope! This is not happening. I clear my throat to catch her attention.

Hey eyes snap up to my green eyes. I grin wickedly at her, letting her know I did catch her whimsical gaze. She looks uncomfortable, I try to distract her.

“Do you have the all the dates to the timeline?” I ask her. She nods and walks over my bed. Her backpack is on my bed, it makes me feel stupid for not noticing it.

 

We work on our project for three hours, and around nine fifteen we’re all done. I’m disappointed that we won’t be partners anymore, I won’t have an excuse to spend time with her anymore. Maybe it’s for the best. We clean our mess, and she gets ready to leave. If she didn’t hear what I said this afternoon about her, I would have probably made a move on her. But I’m not that selfish. So I let her leave.

She opens the door to my bedroom but then she turns to me.

“Hey dave,” she calls me.

“Yeah?” I say, confusing is evident in my voice.

“Don’t be a stranger. Text me, you got my number:” She winks and blushes again. With that she leaves and I remain confused.

'What the hell is she up to?'

 

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Longest chapter I have made. 

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Chapter Twelve: Jude

 Chapter Twelve: Jude [Jazielly’s POV]

 

"I got caught up by the chase and you got high on every little game. I wish you were the one, wish you were the one that got away. Oh if I could go back in time, when you only held me in my mind.Just a longing gone without a traceo, h, I wish I'd never ever seen your face. I wish you were the one, wish you were the one that got away." - The Civil Wars

 

 

My heels were killing me. I don't’ know how girls can wear heels every single day. I need to do better convincing Stace that you can wear Converses and boots, and the outfit will still look ‘flawless’. I sat down on my seat in Psychology. I sighed, while taking out my notebook and my text book. The board said to read pages one-oh-one to one-oh-seven  and take two column notes. Then to answer the questions. It’s what we did most of the time in Psychology, take notes and answer the questions. Sometimes, we talked about what we read in class and some days we just talked the whole period and do nothing. It depends on the teachers mood. Few minutes later, Lena and Jude walked in. They were talking to each other, Lena was nodding. Then Jude gave her a piece of paper and sat in his seat. She had a smile on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. It made we wonder why.

She walked over to me, her smile disappeared. And she handed me the paper.

‘Why would he give me a paper?’

 

I opened it, carefully not to rip it. It said in very small handwriting:

 

‘I know we never have spoken before. But I’ve noticed you the first day you walked in this class. If you want to, meet me after class, I need to ask you something. I’ll be waiting… no pressure!’

 

I looked up at lena, she exhaled heavily. Her head was down, I wanted to look at her eyes, but her copper long hair was covering her face. I looked at Jude, he was writing down in his notebook. I think I knew what he was about to ask me. I was going to accept because I needed to, not because I wanted to. Jude wasn’t ugly, but he just wasn’t my type. Yeah, right. You know exactly why you don’t like him. He was tall, he was tan with blonde hair and dark brown eyes.Not green ones, I scowled at myself. He also had snake bites. The complete opposite of a name who shall not be mentioned if I don’t want to think about what happened yesterday.

 

‘Dont think about it! Dont think about it!’ But my mind had other plans. Because then a picture of six packs and a happy trail popped up in my mind. Crap!

‘I bet Jude doesn’t have tight abs like you-know-who.’

I ignored my subconscious and focused on Lena. I think I know why Lena is feeling the way she is. I think she likes Jude. Even though I am going to accept his question- if it is the question I am thinking about- I won’t hurt her. Because by the end of homecoming, I will make sure Jude ends up with the right person!

“Lena?” I whispered.

She sniffled.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“It’s my fault.” She said.

“What?” I shook my head, not understanding.

“Before you came to this school, I was the new girl. He helped me out making my ways to class and stuff. Two weeks later he confesses he likes me. But I couldn’t date, for personal reasons I’m not ready to express. Now, he’s going to ask you and not me,” she explained in a low voice.

“Lena, I’m going to accept his offer.”

Her head whipped and her angry eyes looked at me.

“I thought you were my friend.” She murmured firmly.

“I am but I have to. You may not understand but when I have more trust in you, I will tell you why. But please believe I’m not doing it to hurt you,” I tried to explain.

“This is my fault, it’s okay,” she shrugged.

“Wanna go dress shopping today?” I asked.

That made her eye lit up.

“Okay.”

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I was the last one out of Psychology. When I left the classroom, Jude was waiting for me leaning on  the locker.  I can see why Lena likes the guy.  I walked up to him slowly. His blonde hair was in a fauxhawk, his eyes were brown but if you look closely─ he has flecks of gold. He also had tiny gauges, like a size 4.  He had a five o’clock shadow- dirty blonde. He almost always wears long sleeves, like today. But his blue sleeves were rolled up, showing his tattoos.

Oh man, I can definitely see why Lena likes him. He freaking hot, like reallllllllllly hot. Not six-packs-with-a happy-trail-hot, but you get the memo. As if he feels my presence, he looks up and smiles.

“Hey,”

Wow, his voice is deep.

“Hey,” I say timidly.

“Come, we’ll walk down to gym together.”

Oh yeah, I forgot he was  in my gym class.

“So, I don’t know if you expect like roses and all that shit. I’m sorry if you do, but it kind of a last minute thing, you know?” He look down at me, making me feel shorter than I really am.

“Yeah I know,” I nod.

“Anyways,” He stops, unexpectedly, right in front of me. I stop too.

“Would you be my date for homecoming, please?” He smiles, it doesn’t make my heart stop. Although, he does own a beautiful smile.

I smile back.

“Yes, I will be your date for homecoming.”

“Great! Hand me your phone.”

I take off my backpack and get my phone out. I give it to him. I don’t have a password, waste of time. He types in something, then his phone rings.

“You have my number, text me the color you’ll wear. I can take you out if you want.” He says, we continue walking.

“That’s not necessary,” I say. I was using him, just like I know he was using me. He breathes out, like he’s relief. We make it inside the gym together, everyone stops and looks at us. That’s when I realize how different we are.

Me: high heels, no tattoos, only my ears pierce, shy, and short.

Him: Tall, tattoos, I wouldn’t be surprise if he had his nipples pierce, and Vans.

 

I don’t care. .

 

“Why is everyone staring?” He whispers looking down. Even with high heels on he still has to look down. This is ridiculous!

“Because our life is more fascinating than theirs,” I smirk.

His eyes widen in surprise. Then he lets out a throaty laugh and it’s infectious so I end up laughing, too. When I look up Lena is staring at me with sad eyes. Everyone elses is confused, well except for Dave’s. His jaw his clenched, eyes glaring and narrowed at Jude. His eyebrows knit together.

‘Ohhhhh-kaaay.’

I look back at Jude, “I’ll catch you around.”

He nods, and waves at me while he walk into the boys locker room.

------------✂ ------------------✂ ---------------------✂ -----------------------

 

Lena and I decided to meet up at a Starbucks close by. Lena said she was running late because her mom hasn’t came back from work. She was babysitting her baby brother. Stacey was messing with the radio, but there was nothing on. That’s what I hate about the radio. They are either on commercial or they put a song that was already played in another stations.

“Hey where is your phone?” She asks me in a exasperating voice.

I hand it to her. She puts ‘Jar of Hearts’ by Christina Perri. We sit in silence but Stacey can’t go five minutes without talking.

“Why were you with that kid in gauges?” She breaks the silence.

“He asks me to homecoming.” I shrugged.

“And you’re going with him?” She squeaks. When I look at her, she has her eyes wide open in disbelief.

“Yeah, he’s cute.”

“You like bad boys?”

“I guess, it’s just homecoming. Not my wedding,” I scoffed.

“Okay… Jeez no need to get offended.”

 

Silence again. The music was playing in my car. I looked to the side, I saw people walking around enjoying the sun in Florida. The sun is shining, people are smiling, speaking on the phone, listening to their headphones, boys skateboarding, some people are jogging. There are couples holding hands, communicating, Moms walking with her child holding their kids hand. Everyone seems be happy, not anger in them. It’s probably all a facade; half of the people in this world are amazing actors. I get a text from Lena saying she’ll meet us in ten minutes. I tell Stace, she looks relieved to hear the news.  

I sit back close my eyes. Which was a big mistake because my mind rewinds back to yesterday. Specifically, when Dave came out the bathroom with only a tiny black towel wrapped around his waist. He had light hair on his chest. His six pack were deep and his V was deep. He had a line a hair from his belly button traveling down. He had a lean back with dimples. He also had a new tattoo. A huge one tattoo on the side of his ribs, which was new because he didn’t have it in Junior year. I saw all this in less than ten seconds. And I almost saw his thing.

My eyes popped open. Stace jumped from my sudden movement. She looked at me as if I grew a moustache. I blushed because… well, let’s not talk about why.

 

“Why are you blushing?” Stacey asked, cocking her head to side.

“Nothing,” I say way too quickly.

“Jazielly Rose Moore,” She scolds.

“Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t speak of it ever again,”

“Cross my heart,” she crosses her heart with her index finger.

 

I tell her how Yamil let me in the house. She told me to go up the room. I put my headphones back in, finishing a song. When my song finished, that’s when the door opened. I tell her all the details, leave her with her mouth open wide.  When I finish she starts laughing loudly, and I scowl at her because that’s so not cool.  When her laugh dies off, I glare at her not once did I think the story was funny. Embarrassing but not funny. Uncomfortable but not funny. Especially when I had to sit there, with him shirtless. His naked chest taunting me for about three hours straight.

 

“That was not funny at all,” I groaned.

“I’m sorry, but sometimes I forget how innocent you are. It was just a chest,” Stace chuckled.

“Watch when you see for yourself,” I muttered.

 

Lena texts me that she’s in Starbucks. I look around for her, she gets out of an SUV and walks up my car. I unlock the car, for her to get in. We go to The Mall at Millenia and head into Ann Taylor, because it’s the closest. We all go in and hunt for the ‘perfect’ dress. I notice Lena keeps checking the price tag, and looking away as if it hurts to look.

It made me feel stupid and selfish. I assumed she had the money for a dress, she didn’t object to go to the store. Stacey already found her dress. It’s a white silk Georgette dress, it reaches right above her knees. She looks amazing. When she goes back in the dressing room I pull Lena to the corner.

 

“I don’t tell people this, actually no one knows but Stacey. But I’m very wealthy, I can buy you a dress I won’t mind,” I whisper.

She shakes her said while saying, “No, there’s no need.”

I saw her looking at a specific dress.

“Please, you were my first friend in high school, please let me do this for you.” I give her the best puppy face I have. She looks at me for what seems like hours, when she sighs and gives me a curt nod. I smile as if I won a million bucks.

“Please don’t tell anyone,” she mumbles.

“I promise.”

 

I walk up to the dress the was looking at. It was a green lace shift dress. It would made her red hair stand out. It will look beautiful on her, Her smile reached up to her eyes, it made me feel less selfish. When she tried it on, it fit her perfectly. I bought Stacey’s and Lena’s dress. The dresses here weren’t for me, so we tried one more store.

We went inside a store called Lilly Pulitzer. Lately, I have been very picky with my clothes, Just because of the fact I don’t want to look to exposed, or like I’m trying too hard. Most things Stace picks out for me, is something more like her. I like comfortable clothes. She like new trends and latest high heels.

I’m looking for something simple but beautiful, Not too flashy and sparkly but still catches people’s attention. Not that I want all the attention, just a specific person. So when Stacey picks out simple but very nice dress hung up all the way up the wall. I call worker to help me get it,

“How may I help you?”

“I want that dress up there?” I point at the white one.  

She grabs a stick and gets the dress that I want.

“This is a nice pick. It’s a Brynn Iridescent Fit and Flare V-neck dress,” she explains. When all of us look at her like she’s speaking a different language. She giggles and says, “The dress. I have a thing for dresses, that’s how I know this specific dress. Anyways would you like to try it on?”

I think about it but then I shake my head. I’m sure if it doesn’t fit me, my mom will help me out. The lady walks to the cash register and scans the dress.

“That will be two hundred and eighty dollars with forty three cents.”

I give her the money.

“Thank you have a great day,” she says with a bright smile.

“You, too.”

-------✂-------------✂--------------✂----------

I make it home and go to bed. I text Jude and tell him to wear red bow or vest or whatever boys wear. The dress is white but I’m wearing them with my red Gucci Wedges. I hate wearing pumps, I don’t have much control in them and they hurt my feet very badly. I do know how to walk in them, but I prefer wedges. Tomorrow papi comes from New York, for Thanksgiving. It’ll be the first time I see him in five months. I can’t wait for him to see me.

The last time he saw me, I still had my braces and my hair was unattainable. Would he like the transformation, face to face?

It’s my last thought as I drift off to sleep.

 

-------✂---------------✂-------------✂------------

 

This chapter isn't much fun but next chapter will be much better─ I hope.

Anyways, thanks for reading! 

Comment/Heart.

XOXOXO

Chapter Thirteen [PART 1] : Dave's Thanksgiving

 

Chapter 13 [Part 1]: Dave's Thanksgiving

 

"Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know - you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant? Am I so insignificant? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me?" -Evanescence

 

I hate holidays. All of them!  I detest them from the bottom from my heart to the blood running in my veins. It’s Thanksgiving. Most people love it because of the food. Or maybe because they very happy family unites. They have mom and dads who have been married for years, filled with cousins, and kids running around. Or maybe they just for the simple fact that it’s a freaking holiday. Well, I hate it, it’s that simple. Or complicated; whichever way you want to see. But ever since my mom and dad split, nothing has ever been the same.

--------✂---------✂-------✂---------

 

From three to six I spend Thanksgiving with my dad. Well, it depends. He’s a workaholic. So he might not even come over. So I end up eating with the housekeeper and the cooker. They could leave when they’re done but they stay with me until six. I like Yamil and Julia, I may not talk to them much. But since I was thirteen- the time my parents split- they’re the only adults I speak to in this house. Not all the time but here and there, when it’s necessary.

I wake up at two in the afternoon. I take long shower, trying to kill some time. I get out at two-thirty.  I shave completely, he says only ‘bums’ wear beards. When I was younger, like sixteen, I always shaved. But now, since he’s never around, I let it grow.

After I am done shaving, I only have ten minutes to get ready. I take out some Tommy Hilfiger khaki pants and a white Tommy Hilfiger  button down shirt. I decide to wear  my tan Nautica dress shoes. The shoes my dad buys me. The shoes I keep in my closet because I hate them so much. The ones I have to wear when he’s around.

When I put my clothes and shoes on, I forget that I have to do my hair. It’s two-fifty-nine and if he makes it and I’m late, it’s gonna be a problem. I spent the last two Thanksgiving waiting for him. He never came, so maybe I’ll be lucky this year.

I put Gel on my hair, more than usual. I take the comb, split my hair and comb it back. Just like my dad taught me. I hate this. I like my hair, the way I do it. Now, I look like some preppy arrogant kid that has money. When I’m done, I go downstairs and I see half the table. It is filled with food. Food that will go to waste because we won’t be able to eat it all. I walk in the kitchen. I see him. My dad. He’s looking at his watch, his jaw is twitching, eyebrows knitted together.

‘FUCK!’

“About fucking time,” he runs his fingers filled with thick gold rings, through his blonde hair. I got my dark hair from my mom.

“What have I told you about being on time. If I say be here at three, then you better be here at two-fifty-nine,” He slams his face against the glass table. A plate falls, Yamil flinches. I wanna grab him by the neck and tell him all the Thanksgivings he has missed.

“I’m glad you can make it dad,” I walk over calmly to sit in front of him.

“What the fuck did you say?” His breath reeks of Jack Daniels. Did I forget to mention other than being a workaholic, he also an alcoholic?

This is going to get bad. But let me get one thing straight, I’m not scared of my dad.

“I said, I’m glad you can make it,” I get the cloth that’s folded on the table and lay it across my lap.

He does the same.

“What’s that suppose to mean?”

“Nothing.”

Julia serves us. Rice, turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and Mash potatoes with turkey gravy. She accidentally spills some on my dads lap.

“What the fuck? Can’t any employee do anything right?” He grabs her by the arms and shoves her. That’s when I realize how drunk he is. Julia is on the floor cupping her arm.

“Dad, come to bed.” I touch his shoulder. He shrugs my hand off. He kneels down and takes Julia by the shoulder.

“You’re out! Take all your shit and leave with him, Mia!”

Mia is moms name.

Julia is shaking, her tears fall. Seeing her like that makes me think of Jazielly. Something snaps in me. I push my dad off of her.

“Go home, Julia. Tell Yamil that t─

His punch hits me right in my jaw knocking me down. He gets on top of me. I manage a 'GO!' to Julia and she runs away while my dad punches me, drunkenly. I cross my arm on my face, blocking him. I want to hit him back but I don’t. I know I can beat him, but he needs to let his anger out. So I let him. His eyes are far away, like he’s seeing someone else. Not his son. Then after three punches he stops. His green eyes look back at mine. Recognition runs through his eyes.

He cries like a baby and hugs me. I let him hug me but I don’t hug him back because I’m angry. Few seconds later, I help him up and we wobble into his room. I lay him in bed, take off his shoes and take off his blazer.

“I’m sorry,” He says sleepily.

“Sleep dad.”

I don’t tell him it’s okay, because it is far away from okay. I close the door when I walk out. I got upstairs and repeat the process. Take a shower, get ready, and off to my moms house.  

Man, I hate holidays.

------✂-------------✂------------✂----------

My mom greets me at the door like everything is normal. Like My jaw isn’t swollen, or like she never left my dad for a younger man. A man that was like my family until he betrayed me. She hugs me like she has to, not because she wants to. She used to hug me until I couldn’t breath, with so much warmth. I look at her eyes, but see that she’s sober.

‘Thank God’

“Come on in, David.” She gestures with her manicured hands. I walk in.

A tall man, with ginger hair and a full beard is on the couch. A beer in his hand. His pupils dilating, his knees are jumping up and down. He sees me, he stands up as if he’s been electrocuted by Apollo. My anger is rising, but I try to stay calm. He walks over and tries to hug me like if everything was dandy between us. I step back, and clear my throat.

“Still angry with me, son?” Ryan asks. His eyes filled with humor, but there’s nothing funny about this situation. I used to let him call me ‘son’. That was before everything.

“Don’t fucking call me that,” I spat.

“Language,” my mom says. She doesn’t look at me while saying it, she’s looking at herself in the tiny mirror in her hand. I scoff. I fucking hate holidays.

'Why am I here, again? '

'Because you love your mom, no matter what.'

A door from the house squeaks open, then closes. High heels clacked against the marble. The noise approaches us. She stands at the door way. A long blue dress clings to her body. Expensive jewelry and strong perfume permeates the air. Her pale blond hair is up in a bun, which is very rare. Less makeup on than usual. She looks at my mom with disgust. Mom still looking in the mirror, but now she has a red lipstick is in the other hand. Then, she looks at her father. Her jaw clenches.

“Really dad? On Thanksgiving?” She says, bitterly.

“I’m just celebrating, Lanie,” He smiles too brightly.

“Can we just get this over with?” She says.

She understands me more than anyone on holidays. Our parents make their way to the dining room. We stay behind. She walks over to me and grabs my hand tightly. She lays her head on my chest. I wrap my other hand around the middle of her back.

“Hey Dave,” she sighs.

“Hey Mels,” I kiss her head and hug her tightly. Because she needs it.

“Ready for this fucked-up holiday?”

I nod. We hold hand and make our way to the dining room. Melanie sits down in front of my mom and I sit down in front of Ryan. The food is already served, wine in our glasses. I don’t feel like eating so I played with my food. Our parents are having a blast. In their little world. My mom drinks with her husband. Melanie and I are fuming. The tension between us is strong but only we feel it.

Mom tries to make a conversation with me but I only answer with grunts and one words. By the time we were done with the food, I sat there. I wanted to leave but I didn’t want to leave Melanie alone with her father who was drunk and drugged. The drug probably faded away by now.  

“You can go if you want to,” Melanie whispered.

I wanted to so badly.

“You don’t have to stay,” she said. I was already tempted to go.

“Are you sure?”

She looks at her dad from her peripheral.

“Yeah,” she nods still not looking at me.

I  give her a kiss on her forehead and I leave the house. I check my pockets for my keys. I go back to check if I left it in the house. When I open the door, I hear Ryan yell:

“Stop being a pussy, Lanie! Sniff the fucking line!”

Then, it clicked. She wanted me to leave because she knew this would happen. I knew she didn’t want me to get in between them. And that’s why she wouldn’t look at me. I ran over to the dining room. The plates were gone, a couple white lines were made on the table. My mom was bent over, sniffing one of them. Ryan nose was filled with white powder. My mom looked up, she was the first one to see me.

“Davieee,” She sings.

Melanie looks up, her eyes filled with relief.

“Let’s go Mels,” I held my hand out.

“She ain’t goin’ no whea,” He slurs. Slang kicks in when he's drunk.

“She’s leaving with me, don’t test me!” I take Melanie’s hand.

“Or what?”

I walked to the kitchen. I opened the refrigerator and took out water bottle. I sauntered back to the dining room and stood next to Melanie.

“Tell me Melanie, has your dad ever smoke crack?” I slowly opened the bottle of water.

She nods.

“Does he like it?”

She shakes her head.

Then, I dump the water on some of the cocaine on the table.

“What are y-you doing!?” Her jaw shivers.

“The man said ‘or what?’ so I’m showing him,” I explain.

“I’m taking your daughter and that’s it!” I tell Ryan.

He sits down and nods. I’m surprise he didn’t swing.

I take Melanie’s hand, and lead her to my car.

-------✂------------✂----------✂-----------

We walk silently to the pool. It’s November but it’s still pretty warm in Florida. I take my shoes off and roll my pants. I dipped my feet in the water. I checked on my dad, he eventually took a shower and went back to bed. He probably won’t remember what had happened yesterday.

Melanie sat with me. She took off her heels and dipped her feet in, too, getting her blue dress wet.

She inhaled deeply then exhales.

“I hate holidays,” She says.

“Me too.”

We stay silent.

“Does your dad make you do that often?” I ask a while later.

“He tries but cocaine makes him lose focus. So I can side-track him and then I leave before he makes me do it.” She murmurs.  “I’m afraid that one day he’s going to succeed on making me do it,” She says quietly.

I can’t tell her to call me, because she’ll take too seriously  and call me even when it isn’t an emergency. Yes, sometimes I hate her so much, but she’s the only one that knows that my moms a drug addict and that my dad is an alcoholic. She knows me and what I go through. And I kind of know her. She tends to hide things very good.

“Dave?” She mutters.

“Yes?”

“I-I know you won’t have sex with me. But please, make me forget about this night,” She breathes out.

I think about it for a second. And think why the hell not? I bet none of our ‘friends’ haven’t been through what we went through tonight. I stand up and take off my pants but leave my boxers on. I unbutton my shirt and shrug it off. I jump in the pool splashing Mels. She giggles. Melanie takes the hint takes and off her dress. She has no bra and white lace panties. She jumps in too, when she comes up she’s smiling and carefree. She’s was the Melanie I once knew.

We splash around, laughing. Then, we stop to catch our breaths. Everything turns serious. I make it over to her. I kiss her, my heartbeat doesn’t stutter like it used to when I was with her. But it makes me forget too. She wraps her hands around my neck. Her legs go around my waist. She moans- I want to push her away but I don’t. Because in a fucked up way, we need this.

And when my hands grab her breast, her body archs into me.

And when I play with her pink nipples, she whimpers.

And when my hands make into her panties, her nails dig into my skin.

And my fingers are inside her, I make her forget.

And Even though I’m thinking of someone else while she rides my hand, she comes apart for me.

She lays her head on my chest and whispers ‘Thank you’.

And we stay like that until she falls asleep and I carry into the guest room.

 

-----------✂-----------✂------------✂----------

 

 

"AND IF YOU DON'T KNOW, NOW YOU KNOW -----!!!"  B.I.G

 

LOL Just kidding.

But were you expecting that?

I bet you weren't!

Okay some people are good at inferencing... so who knows!

 

Now you see a bit of a kind of vulnerable Melanie and David.

 

I think they'll be three parts in chapter Thirteen. Not sure.

I'll let y'all know.

Chapter Thirteen [PART 2]: Jaz's Thanksgiving

Chapter Thirteen [PART 2]: Jaz's Thanksgiving

 

"Because I'm happy! Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof! Because I'm happy! Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth! Because I'm happy! Clap along if you know what happiness is to you! Because I'm happy” -Pharrell Williams 

 

I Love Holidays. Every single one of them. Like seriously, it’s bad. I feel like a kid again counting down the months, weeks, days and hours. I even know the exact time when I can finally see my father. Three hours, five minutes, and four seconds. Three hours, five minutes and three seconds.

‘Focus Jaz’

I love holidays, because it’s a day that gives me the possibility to see my dad. A time where I get to see my mom very happy. Her smile is so big, that her eyes get very squinty. I don’t have cousins or aunts coming over. Unfortunately, mom is the only child and dad is in bad terms with his family. I am certain one day they will make up, they have to. They’re family. Also, my mom is big on cooking. She does this whole meal on almost every holiday. I’d like to say that the food doesn’t mean much. But I'm not gonna lie, days before Thanksgiving, I dream of eating so much food. I know, I know it’s probably bad to be obsessed with food. I can’t help it, I looove it.

Anyways, I only have three hours, four minutes and thirty seven seconds to get ready. Man, I’m sooo excited! I loooove holidays. I mean, who doesn’t?

 

------------------------------------------------

 

My mom is at the airport getting Papi. Stacey just gave me the news that her mom and brother are coming over here for Thanksgiving. My mom obviously okayed it. I find it a little weird, she never really talks about her mom much. When she is ready to tell me what is going on between them, I’ll definitely listen. But like my mom says, ‘the more, the merrier’ or something like that. Mom finished the food earlier and it smells divine. My stomach growls just thinking about the juicy turkey. And the desserts, the creamy, chocolatey mousse. Or the chewy, fudgey brownies.

‘Oops I think I just drooled on myself a bit.’

I chose maroon pants, black and white plaid shirt with a white tank top, with a grey infinity scarf to wear. I end up wearing my black knee-high riding boots. I have Stace put my in a loose fishtail braid. I only filled in my eyebrows and put mascara on for make up.

“Okay you look good,” Stace smiles looking at me up and down, approvingly.

“You did good with the outfit, I’m so proud.” She winks.

“Thanks,” I chuckle.

“Welllpp, I have to go get ready,” she says picking up her makeup bag.

“Okay.”

 

---------------------------------------------

 

 

I go on Spotify and make a quick playlist. My dad likes salsa and my mom like bachata. Stace likes hip-hop and trap music. I literally cringe when I hear trap music, sometimes. Just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. But I respect her taste in music and I endure the pain while I listen to it with her. I like anything but that specific genre. While I’m making the playlist, I listen to The Weeknd on low. The doorbell rings, I run. For a second I think it's my mom. When I open a door, I see a cute guy with his arm wrapped around a woman in her late thirties. I immediately know it’s Stacey’s family.

 

“C’mon on in, welcome,” I usher them inside.

They step into the hallway. They both look around the house with curiosity in their eyes. I have to say I can see where Stace got her looks from. She has her eyes and her skin color. But she had blonde hair and Stacey was a natural brunette. Her brother and her were the opposites, the only thing they had in common was their eyes. He was average height, tan and dark hair.

“Wassup, my name’s Shane.” The guy gives me a smile and a small nod.

“Jazielly. Stacey is upstairs getting ready,” I tell them.

“I swear she always gets ready at the last minutes.”

“Tell me about it,” I snort.

 

I look at his mom. She’s standing there quietly. She looks to her son. He does this cool thing with his hands. She nods and looks at me with a small smile. That’s when I notice a small faded scar on her neck. That’s when I realize, he’s using ASL. How cool… well not cool that she can't speak. But that he knows such a special language.

 

I don’t want to be rude so I say, “I'm Jazielly, also known as her best friend ever.”

 

She nods and she says something with her hands. I look at Shane hoping he’ll translate for me.

 

“She said, ‘nice to meet you best friend’."

 

I look at her. Making sure to make eye contact.

“Likewise.”

 

She uses her hands again.

 

‘Man I need to learn this language.’

 

With worried eyes I look at Shane again. He says, “She says, ‘my name is Savanna, sorry about that’.”

“Oh, it’s okay. But please have a seat. My mom is on her way home from the airport.”

 

They have a seat on the couch in my living room. I sit and change my music to something appropriate. We sit there in silence. The music filling the room. It’s not awkward, though. Just then Stacey comes down. She forces a smile on her face. Weird. Then she uses her hands. Yes, her hands, to speak to her mom. How did I not know she knew ASL?

 

I stare in fascination as they all speak with their hands. I keep thinking how much I wanna learn this beautiful language. It’s amazing how they use their hand to communicate. It’s like they have their own little world and everything.

 

“I know, but I like it here. And I wanna stay!” Stacey yells, not using her hands.

“We need your help,” Shane says harshly, pointing at himself and his mom.

“I send you most of my money from my paycheck,” she informs him, pointing her thumb at her chest.

 

It’s like they’ve forgotten that I am right here. This seems way too private. So I make my presence known by clearing my throat. They all whip their necks, as if I was Dracula and magically appeared on the sofa. They all look embarrassed except Stace.

 

“I'm so sorry, Jazielly.” Shane says, with guilt in his eyes.

“It’s okay.” I shrug.

 

Suddenly, I hear the door open. I jump up and sprint into the hallway. I automatically see the back of my dad’s brown trench coat. He turns and I instantly lurch forward and embrace him tightly. I put my head on his chest. Strong arms hug me back and we stand there for a while, letting it sink n. The happiness I feel is so intense. Tears fall from my eyes and my breath hitches.

 

“My baby,” he whispers.

“Daddy, I missed you so much.” I croak.

 

He takes my face in his hands and looks at me. His eyes shine with unfallen tears. He looks at me like I’m his world. Which he always says I am.

 

“You look beautiful, like a young lady.” He says proudly.

“Thanks pa,” I smile at the compliment. But he always calls me beautiful when he comes home.

“So are we going to eat or what?” My mom speaks up.

“Of course, love.”

-------------------------------------------------

       We walked to the dining room. I hollered for Stacey to come get her butt over here. She entered a moment later with her family. There was a bit tension. But it quickly fades away when her mother grabbed Stacey’s hand and give her a tiny grin. My mom went into the kitchen, I went to get all the plates and everything necessary. My dad grabbed the extra chairs we kept in the closet and put them in their place. I set up the table. My mom came in the dining room with the turkey.

 

Savanna went to help my mom to put the food in the table. There was mashed potato, turkey gravy, cranberry sauce, stuffing, yellow rice with beans, pork, and more. For dessert we had flan, cheesecake, brownies and chocolate mousse. There was so much food.

 

We all sat. My family facing Stacey’s. We said a prayer.

 

“I wanna say something,” I declared.

 

All eyes were on me.

 

“This has been a very long year. For me─ at least. I’ve been through so many things. I regretted so many things, too. But if I had to go back and relive all the stuff I have gone through. I would, in a heartbeat. Because it has brought me friendship, love and taught me to love myself. And when I went through those rough times in school, I never once felt regret towards my family. They’ve done everything for me. And I’m thankful for that. I am thankful for my mom who would go through hell and back for me. My dad for always being there, even if he’s miles away. And I'm thankful for you, Stace. For being a good friend. And I hope to see more of your family.” I finished, with tears in my eyes. I looked around everyone looked at me with so much love.

 

“I am thankful for you too, Elly.” Stace said. I knew that was her way to express her love. And my mom blew me a kiss and daddy winked. Stace’s family looked at me with respect. I have to say this has been a great Thanksgiving.  

 

We dug in, ate so much food.  You can almost taste the love that my mom put into the food. It tasted heavenly! I looked around. Even though Savanna couldn’t speak, when she was done eating she spoke with her hands. Either Stacey or Shane would translate. Mom was surprised when she found out that stacey knew American Sign Language. But we all laughed and enjoyed our time together. Looking around, I realized I was loved.

 

Goshh, I love Thanksgiving.

-----------------------------------------------

 

Couple hours later, Daddy stayed home not caring if he had work or not. I went into Stace’s room. I wanted to know she and her family were arguing about but I didn't want to push her. And I wouldn't. We layed there in silence. Her family were going to go to a hotel. But my mom insisted for them to stay. My room was taken by Savanna and the guestroom by Shane.

 

It was quiet. I was so full. But I couldn’t wait to eat the leftovers tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the football game and Homecoming. I can feel something coming. I don’t know if it’s good or bad but it better be interesting!

 

-----------------------

 

Hey Bookrixers!

I am so sorry I haven't updated. I have had a hectic couple months. Still am but it's all good. 

 

I also had a mean writer's block. Some people say it's a mental thing, it may be true but I don't know what was wrong with me. I written this chatpter over and over and over again. I couldn't get it right. It didn't feel good enough for my readers. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I stood up all night, writng. I was on a mission. I promised myself I'll finish this chapter. And I did and I'm proud of it. 

 

Did you like Stacey's family?

Are you excoted for homecoming?

You better be! (: 

 

There's only two parts in chapter thirteen. 

 

Thank you for reading! 

Comment/heart <3

 

 

Chapter Fourteen: Nirvana [Jazielly's AND David's POV]

Author's note: This chapter is one chapter but it has two parts. Also, Jaz and Dave switch POV's in this chapter. Pay attention lol. Okay, have fun reading!

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Chapter Fourteen: Nivana

Jazielly’s POV: [Part 1 Football game]

 

“Now the room is all hazy we're too lost in the fumes, I feel like it's just me & you─ yeah, we got nothing to lose. It's too late to run away from it all. It's too late to get away from it all. I'm done with running so I give it to you. This moment has caused a reaction, resulting in a reattachment. Will you take me to Nirvana? I don't think this will last 'cause you're here in my arms.”  -Sam Smith

 

It was cold and we were late. I wanted to bring my dad to the airport with mom. I said my goodbyes to my dad. He promised me he’ll be back for New Years Eve. Then we had to pick up Lena from her house. We were all going to get ready at my house after the football game. Stacey brought her brother to the game, too. We were frantically looking for somewhere to sit. Where it wasn’t crowded. I looked around, all the way in the back there was an open space. Where I used to sit my sophomore and Junior year.

I tap Stacey on her shoulder and point up to the seat. We jostle around the crowd, some were standing for some unknown reason and most were sitting. Finally, we sat down on the bleachers. Stacey hollered, encouraging her team. Lena and I sat down. Lena seemed into the game. I, on the other hand, had no idea what was going on. So, I got into a deep memory.

 

FLASHBACK

 

Sophomore Year

 

Crap!

I couldn’t go home. No way! Mom would notice I’ve been crying. My nose is red and my eyes are swollen. And my lips are a bit puffier from biting and sucking on them to keep me from screaming. Because that’s what they want, to hear me yell. I try hard not to give them the pleasure of hearing me yell. I also needed to finish my homework. One would think for what  I went through a few hours ago would lead me to forget about it. But no. I remember because I have to get the perfect grades to get the heck out of this school. Far, far away. And be free. Be able to breathe again.

I have to go somewhere they wouldn’t even imagine to look. The most obvious to me. But honestly Mels is so stupid, that she wouldn’t even think to look here.

The football field.

There are some people hanging around. They don’t pay mind to me though, they never do. I sit all the way up in the bleachers. I take out my binder and start with English. It was my favorite subject. I had to read ‘Night’ by Elie Wiesel. It was about the holocaust. Very sad book, for my very sad mood. I was into the book, when I heard a whistle and  running.

I knew this is where the football team practiced, I just didn’t know it was today. I hope David doesn’t see me. Or Matthew. Maybe I wasn’t that smart. Maybe I’m the stupid one. People come here to study. It’s better and quieter. That’s why I came here.

I couldn’t breathe. I was so scared. I don’t think David would tell Melanie, in a way I feel like he hates it when they treat me badly… well, ‘badly’ doesn’t even cut it. But anyway, he still let’s them get away with it. But Matthew. I have to watch out for him. He will tell Melanie I was here, without any hesitation.

Sometimes I wish I lived up North with my dad. He says New York is a little cold in October. In Florida, October still was up to ninety degrees sometimes. So it was waaaaay to hot for a sweater to cover me up. I just hope I’m far enough for them not to see. I decided to answer the questions on the packet for the chapter. Keeping my head down.

By the time I was done, no one noticed me. I looked up to make sure where they were. That is when I saw David take off his shirt. He shook his hair of his face. I couldn’t help but look at his body. His stomach was cut. Six packs and everything.

“Shit”

I think that’s the first and only time I ever swore.

--

“Jazielly you’re missing it!” Shane yelled.

I looked around, coming back to reality. Everyone was up on their feet cheering and whistling. Stacey kept fist pumping and jumping. Lena was clapping enthusiastically, a huge smile on her face. Even Shane was clapping. I looked between the people to see number twenty running, as if a lion was chasing him and he was trying to get away. I know that number. That number belongs to Dave. I stood up. The cheerleaders were yelling and shaking their pom-poms.

He was dodging the opposing team. All of them. The other team kept trying to tackle him but he always darted to the opposite way. Some would try to grab to grab him but he wasn’t taking it. It was like his life depended on this game. There was one, though, right under Dave’s tail. Dave was almost toward the yellow touchdown line. The player jumped,  his hand circled on Dave’s waist. And the both fell.

Everyone stopped cheering. When the player stood up, we saw David did pass the yellow line. The player held out a hand for Dave and helped him. Then clapped his back, saying something. Dave nodded.

Everyone went crazy. Applauding and giving hugs. The cheerleaders did flips, still, shaking their pom-poms. Stacey and Shane gave each other high fives. Then, Stacey and Lena were hugging. I had a smile on my face, I was happy for my school. Because in the end, this is my school. I looked to see if I saw Jude anywhere, but I didn’t see him.

People started leaving. I wanted to stay and congratulate Dave. I’ll have to do it at homecoming.

Lena was already in the car. She wasn’t too social. Shane arms were around Stacey’s shoulders. He was leading her back to the parking lot. When I looked out the field, I saw a few of our players there. Number nine turned. Matt’s eyes were on Stacey and her brother. I just knew the look he had on, was not a look you should give someone you barely know. Unless, I was missing something. Because even from far away, I could see his fists were clenched and his eyes were angry. Jealousy.

Huh.

-------✂-----------✂------------✂------------------

David’s POV

My side was burning. My back was killing me. This guy was a heavy motherfucker. What the hell does this guy eat? How the hell was I still alive? Man, am even I alive? I can hear the birds chirping and a breeze but, nothing else. It’s quiet.

Then, weight was gone. I heard whistles, clapping and chaos. Nope, I’m definitely alive. The heavy guy, helped me up.

“You’re a fast fucker. Good game dude.”

“Thanks, you too. Keep eating whatever you eat.”

He chuckled and jogged to his team. They were leaving. My team ran up to me and picked me up.

“You did it, again.”

“Great job, man.”

“You good? That was some fall.”

They all said at once. I just nodded. They put me down.

“I gotta go get ready or my girlfriend is going to kill me.” One of my teammates said.

“Yeah,” Most agreed.

They all left the field. Me, Jason, Matthew and a few others stayed behind. I saw Matt looking out the parking lot. His face, I don’t think I have ever seen him so bothered before. I looked exactly where he was looking, curious to see what he was scrutinizing. I saw Jazielly first, then I saw her friend Stacey. That’s where Matthew’s eyes are staring. But why?

I look to see Jaz, she looking at Matt with confusion. I think we’re wondering the same thing. Then she looks at me and she waves. The Florida wind blows her face. She’s perfection.

I give her a small grin. Her smile widens and she shakes her head as if we are sharing a secret of our own. Then she begins to walk away. I stare at that direction until she disappears.

I feel eyes on me. When I check, it’s Matt gawking at me with an eyebrow raised, he’s expecting me to tell him what he just saw. I mimic him because he also has something to spill, too.  But we don’t say anything. Because everyone has their secrets. Obviously we’re both keeping one from each other.

“It’s six, homecoming starts at seven,” Matt says.

“You coming to my house to get ready?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“So let’s go.”

We walk to our own cars and head to my house.

------------✂--------------------✂---------------------✂-------------------

Jazielly’s POV: [Part 2 Homecoming]

 

Stacey was doing the finishing touches to my hair. I had my hair down in thick mermaid waves. I just had to be careful, I chose a white dress. What the heck was I thinking getting a white dress for homecoming? Oh well. I had my red Gucci wedges on, like previously planned. Winged out liner and cherry red lipstick

Stacey looked beautiful with her white silk dress. Her shoulders were exposed and the dress was tight that showed of her curves. Her hair was up in a elegant ponytail, with the hair tie wrapped in hair. Her make-up consisted of MAC smoked purple lipstick and light eye makeup. She was going to break necks when she walk into homecoming.

Lena had her lace green dress. Brown pumps that matched with her matte brown lipstick. Her strawberry blonde hair was in a waterfall braid, with the ends curled. She looked amazing. I hope Jude noticed how gorgeous she looked. I hope he forgets about me and focuses on her. It’s my goal after all.

“You girls ready yet? It’s seven-fifteen.” My mom walked in my bedroom.

“Almost.” I said.

We were all grabbing the things we needed. Jude texted me earlier saying he rented a limousine for Stacey and me. Which was great, because I didn’t know him much. So, having my girls with me on the way there was a relief. Actually he’s been waiting in the kitchen for half hour. My mom has been keeping him company. Hasn’t he heard that girls take forever to get ready?

“Well hurry, I don’t have much to say to the young man down there,” she frowned. She say on my bed and crossed her legs.

“Okay we’re ready.” Stacey said.

“Finally, I want pics.” My mom said.

I walked downstairs and headed to the kitchen.

Jude was sitting but immediately stood up when he heard me enter the kitchen. He has on a tux with a red bow. He also changed his gauged into red ones. His hair was slicked back. He was so handsome. Why couldn’t I be attracted to him?

‘Because you are too busy feeling strange things for you-know-who.’

“You look amazing.” He smiled.

I couldn’t help but blush at his compliment.

“Thank you.”

He walked over to me and he indicated for me to grab his elbow. I shook my head. I didn't want to hurt Lena. But to distract him, I told him my mom was waiting for us. And the girls. His eyes seemed confused. But he didn’t say anything. When we walked to the living room, Stacey and Lena were already taking selfies but their backs were facing us. And my mom was walking down the stairs.

“Got the camera.” She held the camera in the air.

“I can see that,” I chuckled.

When they turned with smiling faces, Jude’s eyes widened for a quick second.

‘Oh.. OH! I forgot to tell him Lena was gonna be here.’

“Hey Jude,” Lena waved.

“Hey Lena. You look.. nice,” He complimented.

That hurt her  because she frowned. But she recovered instantly.

“Thanks,” she said quietly.

My mom took a couple pictures. Then we were in the limousine. The ride was quiet. I notice Jude looked at Lena when she wasn’t looking. But never made eye-contact with her. It didn't bother me, though. The both like each other, but I think Jude is respecting the space she asked for. Stacey was on the phone most of the time, typing. She seemed a bit troubled. I gave her my ‘what’s wrong’ look. But she gave me an ‘it’s-nothing’ shrug.

When we made it there. I realized we weren’t the only ones one hour late. Homecoming ends at twelve and Stacey said Jason is having an after party. When we made it inside most were eating.

Stacey found a place to sit. I sat purposely in the middle of Stacey and Jude that way he was sitting next to Lena. Coincidently or knowing Stacey it wasn’t a coincidence, at all─  David, Jason, Matt, and other people from the football team, who didn’t have dates, were sitting next to us. Melanie was sitting in another table with the cheerleaders, scowling at David.

I hate to admit she looked pretty in her tight nude dress with silver sparkles. She looked like a barbie, with her pale pink lipstick and sparkle eyeshadow.

The song “Time Our Lives” by Pitbull and Ne-Yo came on. Melanie stood up and started dancing with a guy. I don’t know how she could dance in those sky-high strappy heels. I hope she falls. Actually I don’t. She made eye contact with me and she had the audacity to give me a dirty look. I take it back, I hope she falls.

Jude was having a conversation with Lena. About how much work a little brother is.

Stacey was still on her phone. Her eyebrows were crinkled, and she was typing fast. I don’t know what made me look at Matt. But I did and he was looking at his phone the same way. Then he was typing away, I turned my head to check if Stace was typing. And she wasn’t.

I realize Dave was doing the same thing I was. We then both looked at each other. As if we were both finally figuring out what was happening. I think our best friends have a thing going on.

His eyes followed the guy next to me. Jude was still talking to Lena. But irritation was shining bright in his green eyes.

Suddenly, the light dimmed and more people were on the dance floor.

The song changed to “How deep is Your Love” by Calvin Harris & Disciples.

“I love this song,” I said loudly for Jude to hear.

He turned.

“Wanna dance?”

“Yeah, let’s go girls. We are going to dance.”

And we did. After a while everyone was on the dance floor. Stacey danced with anyone. I danced with the people in my group. We laughed our butts off. We fooled around, made a circle when the boys were doing cool dance moves. We clapped along for them. We were all having fun. By eleven, I put my hair up into a nice ponytail. The lights were off, but the disco ball was twirling around us. I told Jude to stay and dance with Lena. Stacey was nowhere to be found. She was probably dancing with someone.

I was going back to my seat when someone grabbed me by my hand. I crushed into a hard chest and looked up.

David.

---------✂---------✂----------✂-------------

David’s POV

 

She was killing me. She was so fucking beautiful. Her hair. I just wanna run my hands through it while she lays on my chest. That dress, it was white. She looked so pure and innocent in that dress. Those heels made her red toes look so cute and her legs look so long. I wondered how the would feel around my waist while I was in her. Her smile. I want her to smile like that for me. Those red lips were going to be the death of me. I just wanted to mess up her lipstick with my lips.

I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. Even when I dancing with Melanie. And other girls. Not in a sexual way, just to have fun. I wanted one dance with her but she was always with that assface of her date. I didn’t even know that he was her type.

So I waited. Like a predator spying on its prey. Like a hawk waiting to make his next move. And when I realize the assface was going to keep dancing with Lena. I was prepared to have my dance with her. She was heading to the corner of the room where our table was.

I quickly caught up to her,  grabbed her hand and gently tugged her towards me. She gasped and looked up.

“David,” she whispered  more to herself.

“Jazielly.” I sighed.

“What are you doing?” She asked looking around.

But the room was dark. And this corner was darker, no one would notice us.

“I wanna dance,” I took a piece of her that fell off her hairdo and twisted it around my finger.

“Why?”

“I’ve been wanting to dance with you since you walked in,” I admitted.

Then the perfect song played. “Latch” by Sam Smith, the acoustic version.  Without waiting for her answer, I intertwined our fingers together. I grabbed her free hand and put it on my neck. Then I wrapped my other hand on her lower back. I stepped closer and whispered some of the lyrics into her ear.

“I feel we’re close enough.”

She leaned closer. Our thighs touching, her breast are crushed on my chest.

“Now I’ve got you in my space, I won’t let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching onto you.”

We moved side to side, slowly. I don’t think we were even on beat but I didn’t care.I finally had her in my arms. It felt like it was only us. And when she lifted her eyes and looked at me. It punch me right into my gut. I wished I was stronger, I wished I could forget about my reputation. And just be with her.

But I can’t. I am not strong. But I have her now. And I can forget for now.

My eyes flicked  from her lips to her eyes. I unconsciously leaned in. When she did, too, I didn't falter to put my lips upon hers.

Nirvana. She tasted like nirvana and strawberries. Her lips were so soft and smooth. I groaned, she tasted better than what I imagined. I pulled closer. So so close.

That I felt her curves against mine.

I felt her heart pounding the same rhythm as mine.

And I Felt her breath hitch when I touched her lips lightly with my touch.

I felt her go on her tippy toes when I grabbed her face lightly with my hands.

I faintly traced her lips with my tongue  wondering if she’s open up to me. And she did.

I kissed her with all I had.

I kissed her with so much passion. I tasted all of her. And when her tongue timidly touched mine, I moaned lowly. This felt so surreal. Our tongues danced slowly. Our lips got to know each other. And I couldn’ help but think that this was the best kiss I have ever had. I wanted more. I couldn't get enough of this. My hands traveled down her neck, to her shoulder, her sides and then her waist. I tugged her even closer that she gasped when she felt my erection.

Not wanting to scare her I pulled back. Her eyes was filled with arousal.

“I-uhh,” she tried to speak. Her lips swollen and her lipstick was almost gone. She looked down. I grabbed her chin wanting her eyes on me again.

“Yeah?”

“You kissed me.” Then she her neck turned red. She looked around, as if she forgotten where she was.

“I know,” I smirked. She tasted so good. I had to lick my lips just wanting a bit more.

“I-I Sh-should. Stacey might be looking f-for me,” she stuttered. She looked nervous.

“Hey, are you ok? Did I push you too far?” I felt concerned. It wasn’t my motive to do that.

“No, I… I actually liked what we did.” She looked at me from her lashes.

“Me, too.”

“Well, I gotta go.” She stepped back.

“Okay.”

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They finallllllyy KISS!! I can't believe I did it! 

Did you like it?

Stay tuned for the next chapter!

Jasooon haasss aa sseecreet! What willl it be?

You'll see in his after partyyy! 

 

Well, Thanks for readinggggg! 

Comment/Heart! <33333

 

Wanna see what the characters look like?

Go to: 

http://s296.photobucket.com/user/MisUnderstood_23/library/HARD%20LOVE%20PHOTOS?sort=3&page=1

 

Click 'Slide show' to see characters quicker and easier.

 

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Wamt to see what belongs whom, then click on the photo. It has the name and description. 

Chapter Fifteen: Unforgettable

Chapter Fifteen: Unforgettable

Jazielly's POV 

 

“It’s not good enough for me, since I been with you. It’s not gonna work for you, nobody can equal me. I’m gonna sip on this drink, when I’m f**ked up, I should know how to pick up. I’m gonna catch the rhythm while she push up against me, oh, was she tipsy. I had enough convo for 24, I peep’d you from across the room. Pretty little body, dancing like GoGo, But you are unforgettable, I need to get you alone. Why not? A F**cking good time, never hurt nobody. I got a little drink but it’s not bacardi.” -Swae Lee

 

 

*Flashback*

 

BEGINNING OF JUNIOR YEAR

 

It was my last period; study hall. I’m suppose to be in the cafeteria but I know better. It was a perilous risk to sit at the lunch table, when only about seven students had study hall with me. Students that didn’t do a thing when it came to Melanie. That is why I am sitting on the stairs behind the school. Reading a book for English and listening to music. Technically, I’m not skipping. Study hall is not even a class. You just sit in the cafeteria and study. Or you ask permission to study at the library. In my case, ask to use the restroom and come back five minutes before the last bell rings.

Again, I’m not skipping. At least, that’s what I am trying to convince to myself. Plus, I’m getting good at hiding. I used to go to the library but let’s face it… I’m basically a nerd. And that is the first place Jason would look. I’m speaking from experience.

I’m so into my book, I forget to check the time. I see students walking out of school. I check the time and noticed the bell rang about ten minutes ago. As soon as I turn the corner, I hit a hard body.

I look up and see that is David. He drops and his phone. Instant dread runs through my body. If Dave is here, then that means Jason, Melanie, or Matt are around. His green eyes look at me with anxiousness, but it’s swiftly replaced with indifference.

 

“I’m s-so sorry,” I whisper.

He glances around the hallway; searching, seeking for something.

“What you need to be sorry for is not paying attention to where you’re going.” His voice his deep and filled with exasperation.

“You need to go before they see you.”

 

I looked at him confused. What does he mean by that? Since when does he care? I should’ve listened to him, instead of standing here trying to figure why he cares. Because that’s when Matthew comes around the corner.

“‘Dude, I’ve been looking-”

 

He notices me.

 

“Well, there you are. Y’know you’re getting good at hiding.”

He comes closer, and touches my loose curl. My breath speeds up and my stomach turns.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

 

I peek at Dave, hoping for him to distract Matt. But he’s typing furiously on his phone. He looks up to say something, I think. But a phone call comes in and he walks away.  Matthew steps closer and I take a step back. My eyes are  darting everywhere but his face. My back hits the lockers.

 

I’m trapped.

I have nowhere to run.
I’m feel like a helpless animal and my predator is looking at me as if I was a piece of meat.

The hallway is deserted. No one is gonna hear me.

 

His hands go on my hips. And he inhales me. He smells like sweat and something I can't decipher. My nose is starting to burn because my tears are begging to come out of my eyes.

 

“It’s weird how someone so unattractive can smell delicious enough to eat,” he says while his lips trace the side of my neck.

 

My breath quivered and I closed my eyes tightly. I tried to go to a happy place. But it’s hard when someone was invading your space. His wet tongue licks my earlobe. I stopped breathing. His hands ever-so-slowly go down to my butt. And that’s when I can’t take it. I sob.

“Stop, p-please.”

“But I’m just getting started.”

 

I notice his eyes aren’t normal. They’re dilated and unfocused. Which is weird because he knows exactly what he’s doing. He presses himself against me, I feel sick. And I let the tears fall. And I stare at him, other than my tears, I look at him emotionless. No one is going to help me, so I let go.

And when his left hand goes up to grab my breast, someone stops him.

“Matt, let’s go.” Dave says at the end of the hallway.

“But-

“Now is not the time to argue and let’s go!” He raises his voice.

 

Matthew sighs.

“Guess I gotta go but don’t be to sad. I’ll be back.” He taps my chin. With that, he saunters to David. I wipe my tears and walk home.

----------------

 

Everyone was talking about Jason’s after party. And everyone was planning on going. But that didn’t mean they were welcome. As soon as you stepped in the house, and Jason didn’t want you there. You went bye-bye. If I was to even attempt to go the party when I was the old Jazielly, I would’ve been laughed at, that is just putting it the nice way. I’m pretty damn sure it would’ve been worse.

Dave and I went our separate ways searching for our best friends. Stace was nowhere to be found. I squinted to where we were sitting, but the table was empty. I looked in the bathroom. But all I saw was girls changing into mini skirts and crop tops. The light was on at the dance floor. There were only a couple of people conversing. No sign of Stacey. I was getting frustrated, because Stacey isn’t just suppose to disappear on me. And if she does, she should at least give me a heads up.

 

‘Where could she be?’

 

I decided to look outside. I checked the benches and picnic table, maybe she was sitting down waiting for me. Unfortunately, they were vacant. Everyone is leaving. The parking lot only has a couple cars.

 

Far from the school, I see someone with a white dress. Somehow I know it’s Stacey. She is not alone. She’s in a heated conversation with a guy. This certain guy has a varsity jacket on. The only guy Stacey knows with a varsity jacket is Matt. Something tells me that she’s been with him for a while because I see Davis running towards him. His hands are up in the air, as if he’s annoyed. I paced towards her and heard David say to Matthew where has he been.

 

“Stace, let’s go,” I say when I get to her.

 

Her eyes open wide. And she looks around the parking lot as if she just recognized that we're almost the only ones left in the school.

 

For the first time, I feel very angry towards Stacey.

 

'Why is she with Matthew? Has she disappeared with him this whole time? Does she not remember all the injurious things he put me through?'

 

We walk silently to my car. We sit there. I wanna bring it up. At the same time I don’t wanna know. I mean the plan is to make Matt fall in love. However, that conversation looked intense, even from far away.

 

At the homecoming, they were texting. The facial expression that she had on were not happy ones.

“Jazielly,” Stace calls me cautiously.

“I don’t feel like talking about it.”

“Okay.. but can we go home first to change?”

 

Not wanting to talk, I give a nod. We go home and change to jeans and a cute top.

 

--------------

 

The house was packed. Red cups on the ground, rap music on blast. The bass vibrated the house. When we came in the house. There were people playing beer pong in the livingroom. The dance floor was full of drunk people moving provocatively with the beat of the music. Some girls were dancing together getting the boys’ attention. Others were grinding on eachother. Some were in a corner making out. We went to the kitchen, a dude was drinking out of a beer bong.

“CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!!” The people chanted at him.

 

All of it was too much for me. This place was hectic and I was not liking it one bit.

 

“You look like you’re about to pass out.” Stacey yells over the music.

“It’s too much, maybe we should go.”

“No way, let’s get you a drink to calm your nerves.” She takes me hand and drags me to the fridge. She hands me a Watermelon Smirnoff.

She takes a red cup for her and pours a bronze liquid that smells strong.

 

I watch the people losing themselves in the music. I envy them for not caring what people think of them. I watch as some crowds are laughing and interacting. Looking around, I spot Matthew and Melanie. Melanie is dancing with a guy but her eyes are focused on something. Or more like someone. Dave has a cup in his hand looking like he's bored out of his mind. He is also not paying attention to Melanie. Matthew looks angry. Doesn’t look like anyone is having a good time. Once Melanie sees that Dave is paying no mind to her, she huffs and stalks away upstairs. The guy dancing who was dancing with her, follows behind.

I sip on my drink, I am almost done with my bottle when Stace hand me a new one. This time it’s a Corona. It has a bittersweet taste that I like. She tells me I’m a rookie and she doesn’t want me to get sloppy drunk. I agree with her.

I am planning what I should do. Not even two hours ago David kissed me. And I am wondering is it’s too soon to go up and talk to him.

 

“Let’s dance.” Stacey yells too loudly in my ears that I cringe. Again, she takes my hand and hauls me to the dance floor. ‘Unforgettable’ by Swae Lee ft French Montana. At first, I didn’t wanna dance because i didn’t know what to do. But I watch Stacey’s move to the rhythm of the song. And I start moving my hips to the hypnotic beat. I lose myself in the music. Not caring about what people are thinking. It feels like freedom.

Stacey is enjoying herself, dancing and twirling, lowering herself down to the floor seductively and coming back up. That’s when ‘Despacito’ comes on and Matthew goes behind her to dance. Anger rushes through my veins. I walked away from them. Got a cup and poured myself Ciroc. I don’t care. I stand in a corner swaying back and forth to the music.

 

“Why are you hiding here by yourself?” A voice behind me startles me.

I turn to see glassy green eyes staring at me. He’s smirking as if he found out my darkest secret.

“Dave,” I gasp.

“Jaz,” he says smoothly. Hearing him say my name makes my hair stand up.

“Stace left me.” I pout. Man, I think I’m a bit tispy.

His eyes flick to my lips. He steps closer.

“Would you like to dance with me… again?”

“People will stare.”

“And?” He shrugs.

“People will think inappropriate things about us.” I say.

“People are in their own little world, enjoying themselves.” He says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“People care when it’s about you.”

“C’mon Jaz, let’s dance. Are you really that much of a chicken?” He challenges.

“NO!” I dramatically yell.

“Then let's go dance.”

 

‘Body’ by Sean paul ft Migos plays on the speakers. We walk to the dancefloor. Dave is behind me, his hands are on my hips. No one has held me like this except when Matt…

‘Don’t go there, Jazielly!’

His hands are warm, and he intoxication scent surrounds me. We move slowly. He is cautiously leading me, swaying to the music. Even though the tempo is going faster than we are, we move our own pace getting comfortable. Ever-so-gently he brings me closer, his warm breath fans my neck. And I find myself wanting him closer. We start moving within beat. Our hips are touching and his fingers are caressing my skin.

We forget about everyone around us. And we dance for what it seems like an eternity. And I hate how comfortable I am with him. I hate how much my body wants him. I hate how much I think about him when I’m not with him. I start to panic. I need space.

 

I turn to face him.

“I g-gotta go,” I stutter.

 

I don’t give him time to respond. I run up the stairs. I text Stacey that we have to leave the party soon.

 

‘Where are you?’ She replies.

‘Upstairs’ I text back.

 

I’m in the middle of the hallway, when I hear groans. I see two men in a room, they’re so into their make out session. Never noticing that the door is not close. It looks like they tried to close it ‘cause only open enough where you can peek without them noticing.

 

I notice a familiar face. His shirt is off and the guy is slowly making his way down his chest. He touches the guys head pushing him lower. I take out my phone, and take a picture of them.

 

The flash alarms them both.

 

That’s when Jason sees that he’s been caught. His eyes are wide and his face turns white as a ghost.

 

I smirk. And the game begins... With Jason.

 

--------------------------

 

I know it's been more than a year since I've updated. And I wanna apologize for that. I'm going to start updating but they are going to be slow. Thank you for not giving up on my book. And I appreciate every one of my readers. 

 

BUT yeah, I hope ya'll enjoy this chapter. 

 

Thanks for reading! xoxo

 

HEART<3, COMMENT (:

Chapter Sixteen: Please Don't Judge Me

 Chapter Sixteen: Please Don't Judge Me 

 

“Baby the fact is, you're hearing rumours about me. And saw some pictures online saying things, they got you so angry. Making you wish you were mine. Before we start talking crazy, saying some things we'll regret. Can we just slow it down and press reset? You're beautiful. So babe.. so please don't judge me and I won't judge you. 'Cause it could get ugly, before it gets beautiful. Please don't judge me and I won't judge you! And if you love me…. Then let it be beautiful!” - Chris Brown

 

David's POV

 

When I saw Jason in the locker room holding his head with his hands.I instantly something was wrong. I have never seen Jason like this. His arrogance permeates off of him like strong cologne.  He knows how much guys want to be him and how girls want to sleep with him. Jason is also an asshole, which ninety-nine percent of the school knows. Not to me, but to most. I wanted to turn around and leave him alone. I didn’t. I walked towards him and sat down next to him. It was quiet that you can hear water dripping in the shower and his breathing. I didn’t know whether to start a conversation with him or just let him talk.

 

I waited.

 

“Someone found out,” Jason’s raspy voice uttered.

“Found out…….” I said in a questioning voice.

“I don’t know what to do. I think I know who it is but I know she ain’t gonna do shit. She’s new to this school and knows nothing. Who does she think she is?” He asked more to himself than to me.

He turns to me, “she doesn’t know one thing. We run this school. She thinks she’s gonna come to step in our shoes. She’s incorrect, wrong, mistakened.”

 

See? I told you he was an arrogant asshole. But I am, too. I don’t know what he’s talking about. What this person found out. He states ‘he thinks’ he knows who this person is. So he’s assuming without knowing the facts. There a lot new people in this school but the only new ones we know  that Jason is not a big fan of is Stacey and Jaz.

 

“What did they found out, Jason? I’m not understanding you at the moment.”

“Stacey, she took a photo of...” he stops in his mid-sentence. His eyes show…. Fear? What does he fear? What can possibly Jason be scared of? His stormy gray eyes are wide, far away from reality. Like he’s reviving what happened to him.

“It was a moment of weakness. I never do it in the house. Always in a private place. Most of the time in the motel.” He mumbles.

His eyes are telling a story. A story he’s not ready to tell. His hands are shaking. Never have I ever seen Jason this shaken up. What is wrong with him?

“My dad. My dad will disown me.”

His hands go up to his shaggy hair and he pulls it. I wanna pat him in the back and tell him it’s okay. But i’d be lying, because I don’t know if it will be.

“And coach and the team. T-they’ll.. I don’t even wanna think about it.”

“Okay Jason. Stop freaking out. We’re the only ones here. I will listen to you and trust me, bro. I won’t say a word. No judgement here.” I tell him sincerely.

“You have to promise,” he says aggressively.

“I fucking promise.” I nod.

“She saw me with him. I was kissing him and a flash and… I didn’t see. All I saw was long curly hair. My vision was a blur.. I just.. I cannot remember.” He stumbles his words.

All I can think is that Jason is gay? How is that even possible? All the girls, what he did to Jazielly, how can he do that to her? How can he have the guts to touch her the way he did and be gay?

 

“But how?” was all I can manage to ask.

“How what!?” he snaps at me.

“How the hell are you not straight. All the girls, the partying, everything?”

“Bro, it’s all an act. A persona, I am Gay.”

I give a look ‘and?’ He must read my expression and he continues.

“I always been, I kinda wondered in elementary why everyone was different from me. And in the middle school I started questioning myself? Why did I never have a girl crush? Why was it when a boy took his shirt off, I stared? But when a girl pushed her growing cleavage in my face I looked away?” He shook his head. He never looked at me when he was explaining his story. He look straight ahead.

 

“My best friend at the time invited me to sleep over his house. I always thought he was cute. Blonde hair that covered his blue eyes. But I never told anyone. At night we decided to play truth or dare.” He laughed and again, shook his head.

“Lame, right? Two teenagers playing a group game. Anyways, I dared him to prank call his girlfriend, Kylie. And He dared me to kiss him.” He look at me from his peripheral. Although, he never fully turned his head.

“You still wanna hear the story?” He asked me.

“I’m here to listen. I’m all ears. I may be an asshole but I’m not judging you.” I shrug.

“Go ahead,” I encourage him.

“Anyway, I thought he was joking. I started laughing acting like it was gross. But he said, ‘I’m serious, kiss me.’ He came closer to me. And I can’t explain what I was feeling, I never felt it before but it felt good. And yeah, we kissed. I was thirteen when I truly realized I was gay. I never told anyone. No one, except you. And one other person.”

 

Now, he fully faces me. I see a different Jason. Not in a bad way. Just then I realize, when I would call him and I’d hear male voices in the background. I found it weird because all the boys were in my house. He’d say it was just a friend or some type of excuse. I believed him. And the girls? I don’t know.

“And the girls?” I had to know.

“Never fucked them. But it sometimes it kinda easy to imagine a guy sucking you off while she is.” he shrugged, he looked a little embarrassed. “The rumors, the endless nights I give these girls, and how many times I’ve made them come are lies. Popularity has it’s perks.”

 

It does. I wanna question about Jazielly. How was he able to do that to her. If he wasn’t attractive to girls, how could he have gone so far? Just thinking about it gets my blood heated. It didn’t look like he was gonna stop.

“It looks like you’re angry.”

“How about Jazielly? It looked like you were on a mission.” I say without even thinking about it. It was a wrong move because now it looks like I give a fuck about her. Then, I feel like a fucking wimp because I do care about Jazielly. And I have to hide my feeling because of this stupid school and my dad.

“Fuck man, you don’t know what it’s like to be gay. Especially when you’re hiding. It sucks. You have to push all your feelings aside and not give a fuck. If you do, you slip.” He looks tormented. One more time, he shakes his head furiously. “I’m so glad you stopped when you did. Cus I would’ve slipped.”

I am mad about this. Angry, annoyed displeased. But I can’t say I don’t know what he’s going through. It would be inaccurate of me not to understand. Even though we’re going through different circumstances, we do the shit we do for the same reason. We hide because of our parents. I know I do. Melanie does, too. And now I know that Jason does too.

Matthew has his reasons as well. But not what you think.

“Who do you think it was?” I ask Jason.

“I think it was Stacey.”

 

---------------------------------------------------

 

I don’t recall Stacey being at the party last week. I don’t know because I only had one person in mind. I only remember Jazielly. And if I did see Stacey, I don’t remember.

Jason made me swear that I won’t tell anyone after he told me who he suspected it was that took a picture of him. He told me he didn’t know what to do about the picture. It’s been a week since that party and nothing negative about Jason was on social media.

If Stacey had the photo. Then, she was waiting for the perfect moment to out him. But in my gut, I know it wasn’t Stacey. In my gut, in my bones, and in my heart, I knew it was someone else. And I’m sure it someone close to me.

 

-----------------------------

 

It’s nine pm and I’ve been staring at my phone for the past twenty minutes. I wanted to text her. I just wanted to hear her voice, just like Jason said it was a weakness with the guy he was caught with. Jazielly was my weakness. I wanted to give up everything for her. I wanted to erase the past and not give a fuck about what people thought about me. I wish I can go back to the time where I first spoke to her and she rewarded me with a sweet, timid smile. I yearn to back to the time to when she used to look at me with admiration. When her cheeks would turn red looking at me. I demolished all that because of my fear. Now, I just don’t know what she’s planning. Even with the fact that the future is unknown, it might turn all to shit. I just need this chance with her.

 

And that’s why I text her.

 

Me: Hey.

A see the three dots bouncing around immediately.

Her: Hey, what’s up? (:

I smile I didn’t think I’d get an instant reply.

Me: Not much. I was wondering what you were up to.

Her: Watching Hulu. I should be doing homework.

Me: Oh. You want company?

I delete that.

Me: Oh, sounds lit.

This conversation is not what I was hoping for. I wanted to text her all night.

Her: Yeah, watching ‘Power’.

 

Power? Who knew she’s be into such a show. It was explicit. It has everything such as sex, violence, love. About a guy living a double life. Has a lot of goals but things are holding him back.

 

Me: That show is *perfect sign emoji*

Her: *Fire Emoji* Yeah. Wanna come watch it with me?

I jump straight off my bed and slip my black Timberlands on.

Me: At your house?

Her: Yes. But you have to sneak in.

That’s no problem at all.

Me: Be there in ten.

 

--------------------------

 

I make it there in seven minutes. I don’t believe it’s her house. It’s bigger than I imagined. It was mostly glass but you couldn’t see inside. The roof was flat and the walls that weren’t glass were steel. Her house was amazing and so modern. I text that I’m at the door. She opens the garage door. She Looks gorgeous in her pajamas and her slippers. Her hair was in a.

When I go in the garage. I see three cars, A BMW, a Camaro and a Escalade. And there is space at least to more cars. She nods at me to follow her. We walk upstairs. It’s dark. I see picture frames on the wall but barely. I recognize that we’re in the living room. We walk across it, my knee on a table and knock something on the floor. It crash.

Jaz looks at my like she wants to murder me four times in a row. A door opens upstairs.

“Jaz is that you?” A female voice says.

“Yes! Just getting a drink. Y’know me, getting thirst and all.” She chuckles. It’s cute as fuck.

“Okay goodnight sweetie.” The door closes.

 

She tells me to wait with a finger she walks hallway up the stairs. Once the coast is clear, she ushers me with her hand and tells me to be quiet with a finger o the lip. Ever so quietly we make it to her room. And she lockers her door.

Her room is organized just like her. Her bed is a bit messy and has a bit of food lying there. Carrots, ranch, doritos and Ginger ale. A couple of books are open as well.

 

“What season are you on?” Jazielly whispers. As she sits on her bed.

“Season 3, you?” I stand. Not knowing what to do.

“Same, episode two.” She pushes over in the middle of the bed. She makes room for me, I assume. Because she moves the books to the floor. I take off my boots, with my back against the headboard and my feet straight.

I eat some carrots and ranch. I watch some of the show. But really, my mind is ocus on her. She rips the doritos in half and shoves it in her mouth. She so intent on the show she doesn’t even realize that I been staring at her. When she finishes she lays down.

 

“Ugh, I hate Angela,” She wrinkles her nose.

“Me too. Tasha holds it down for him.” I look at her.

“I know and Tommy is a dummy man. I can’t help loving him though. He’s loyal.”

“That’s true.” I nod.

I wanna lay down close to her.  Put my arm around her waist and hold her.

 

“You know you can lay down I don’t bite.” She says after the episode is done.

“I know, I just didn’t wanna make you feel uncomfortable.” I lay down and give her a respectable amount of space. Any other girl,  would seduced her and try to get in her pants. But this ain’t any girl. She Jaz, the girl that melts down my walls with one look.

We stay quiet for the rest of the night.

-----------------------------------------------------------

 

I feel something on me. It’s warm. My room is never warm. I always have the AC on blast. It’s still nighttime. I look to see if I see a clock somewhere. I do, on the nightstand. It says 3:03am. I look and see that Jaz’s head is on my shoulder, her leg is crossed with my legs and her arm is across my stomach. I don’t know if she’d want me to spend the night. So i gently push her off, she stirs and her eyes open.

“Where are you going?” Her sleepy voice asks.

“I thought you wouldn’t want me to stay.” I tell her.

“No, stay.”

“Are you sure?” I look at her face for any sign of insurance. But there’s none.

She nods and I lay back down and hold out that way she can lay on my chest. She sees the drool she left  on my shirt. And she look embarrassed.

“I drool in my sleep, don’t judge me.” She scrunches her eyebrows.

“It’s okay, I think its cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yes, Cute.” I nod.

She lays on my chest and looks at me. She smiles.

And that’s when I think that this is the best I have felt in a long time.

 

Chapter Seventeen: Premeditated Plan

Chapter Sixteen: Premeditated Plan

 

“Am I changing right before your eyes? Becoming someone you don't recognize. As if I was disguised, I'm on that shit as if I was the Fly.I'm touchin' skies, no puffin' lie… Where I'm from, if you ever seen what I seen
You know it can't get no better for me.” - J. Cole

 

Jazielly's POV

 

Two weeks have passed since Jason’s afterparty. The photo is still on my phone. I have no idea what I am gonna do about it. It burns in my pocket. I didn’t really think this through. But I have time. Although it’s running out.
A week had passed since David slept over my house. In the morning, he left through the back and I got ready for school. In school, we share knowing looks and secret smiles. We’ve been texting, I know this is the plan. Making him fall for me. I know it’s working. When we’re in English he looks at me like I have never changed, when no one is looking, when he thinks I’m not paying attention. But I can feel it in my heavy in my stomach when he stares at me. It scares me so badly. I question myself if I can really pull this off. But then the memories come back. The torture and I get angry. That’s what keeps me going.
At night we text. We text and then he comes over and we watch TV. I know I’m stepping in dangerous water. It’s saying “No Diving”, but when he looks at me with those smiling emerald eyes, like he knows something I don’t. That’s exactly what I am doing. Diving into those oh-so-dangerous eyes.
Stacey and I haven’t spoken about why Matthew and she were arguing. She’s not home like she used to be. I know she’s with Matt. But there’s something there. Everyone talks about them in school. And it makes me sick to my stomach that she’s not talking to me about it. It also makes me feverish, when I think about Matt. All those time he’s made me feel so low. The way he's spoken to me, made me feel like I was nothing. The way he saw me. As if I was a someone he could toy with me because he had so much control over me.

I’m home in the living room doing my homework. When Stacey walks in and drops her backpack next to the door. My mom always yells at her for it. She doesn’t notice that I am there.
“Matt, I told you I can’t. You wouldn’t understand” Pause.
“That’s not fair, you know I care for you. But it’s hard to explain. I wish I can be there for you. I know you’re going through a hard time!” She still doesn’t realize that I’m sitting on the couch with my legs crossed. She doesn’t sense my eyes on her. She drags a hand in her hair. She sighs loudly. She goes up the stairs swiftly. I hear her steps faltered, and I hear a creak. She’s sitting on the stairs.
“Matthew, you need to take it a day at a time. You can do this,” she tells him. Again she sighs.
“We’re going to see each other at school. I can’t watch you twenty-four-seven. I need time for myself.” She stresses.
“Babe, please just give me some time. Okay? I’m not leaving you because of what you told me.” I hear her shuffle.
“Listen, I’m home. I’m gonna eat and do my homework. I’ll call you back. Okay?” Another pause.
“Yes, you too. Bye”
I pretend to do my homework. I listen to her steps. She’s coming down the stairs.
“How much did you hear?” She asked with her eyes popping out of her sockets.
“All of it,” I shrug. I uncross my legs and cross them again.
She sits next to me. She groans and drags another hand in her hair. Her eyes are dark as if she hasn’t slept.
“Are you okay?” I put my stuff on the coffee table.
“Yes.”
I give her a ‘seriously-you’re-lying-to-me?’ look.
“I’m okay. Okay, not completely. It’s been rough. Matt, he’s just not what I expected.” She fiddles with her fingers.
“What does that mean?” My tone is offensive, I don't mean it to be.
“It means there’s shit you don't know Jaz. That’s what that means!” Her reaction surprises me. I stand up.
“I know what he did to me. I know he never cared, I know he'll never question himself how made me feel. I know he made me feel like garbage. I remember hiding from him and hoping he doesn't find me. Did you forget Stacey?” Angry tears run down my face. My face is hot and my ears are ringing. She stands up and gets close to my face.
“Of course I do, I remember all the details. I’m doing this for you Jazielly! And it’s harder than I thought. I know things you don’t. I’m not saying what Matt did was okay. I was not even close to okay. Sometimes I feel things for him and then I remember all the shit he put you through. Then I feel sick. I wanna give up.” She walks back and forth the living room. “And it's fucking hard. If it was under different circumstances, I would be attracted to him. I know it's wrong! The stuff he tells me. It's so sad and I just don’t know if I can take it” She cries. She sits on the couch.
“What… what does he tell you?” I swallow.
“Everything and nothing. If I didn’t know you. If I didn’t know how he made you feel. I’d forgive him. But you’re my best friend and I just can’t forgive him. Not until you do.”
Forgiveness? No. He doesn’t deserve a centimeter of forgiveness.
“Forgive him?” I stare at her in shock.
“This is way too hard. I’m gonna go for a ride. I can’t deal with anyone right now.” She shakes her head. She takes the keys and her backpack and walks out of the door.
Whatever is going on it’s bigger than her. I can’t help feel badly on how a reacted. But it hurts me deeply on how I feel she is taking his side. It’s not fair. He’s taking her away from me and it makes me so hate him so much more. He’s changing her. She’s not the Stacey I know. At least not at the moment.

----------------------------------------

I went to my room after the argument with Stacey. My mom knocked on my door. She said she heard us arguing and wanted to see if I was okay. I told I was okay. She asked me what it was about, I explained to her it was boy stuff. She nodded and went back to her room.
A few minutes later I heard a very faint bang on my window. Thinking it was the tree branch hitting my window, I remained watching t.v and eating my fruit salad.

‘Tick.’

I stand up.

‘Tick’

I walk to the window.

‘Tick’

I open the shades. I see a figure waiting for me. I can’t see how because I don’t have my contacts in.
“Who’s that?” I squint to see if I can get a better look. I don’t.
“David, let me in.” He says in a breathy whisper.
The time I snuck him through the garage I didn’t think it through. The front door to my house literally faces the stairs. And the stairs literally take you to my room.
“Okay, I’m going to throw you the keys.”

I know I’m safe because my mom is sleeping. She will think that it’s Stacey coming home if she wakes up from the keys jiggling and the footsteps. Also, Stacey is not home. I sit in my bed and wait for him to come into my room. I feel like everything is moving so fast.
A year ago I never would’ve thought I’d ever had Dave in my room.
And three months ago, I never thought this would be the Dave I’ve gotten to know. The door opens and my heart skips. I can sense him because my hairs in the back of my neck shamelessly stand up. I hear him take off his shoes. He hates shoes. He says if he can walk barefoot for the rest of his life, he would. He doesn’t though, because welll… you can’t. Which is ironic because every time I see him he has a different pair of shoes. I’ll see him at school with Nikes on and when he comes to my house he has another pair.

“Hey,” his deep voice resonates across my body like a guitar.
“Hey,” I smile.
“Whatcha watching?” He rests his back on the headboard and stretched his legs on the bed.
“I have no idea. I haven’t been paying attention.” I take a bite out of my pineapple.
“Why what’s wrong?”
How does he know something is wrong? Maybe it’s just a guess. I mean, he can’t read me that good. Right?

“Stacey and I kinda argued today.” I put my bowl down on my nightstand and get in the same position as him.
“Matt and I argue a lot too.”
I cringe. He sees it.
“Was it about him? Matt, I mean?” He asks.
“Why do you want to know?”
We’ve never ever talked about anyone. Not Stace, Matt, Jason and especially Melanie.
“Yeah but I don’t want to get into it.” I find the remote to the television and put on Hulu.
“You know they’re together right?”
Of course, I know. But that’s not what bothers me. It bothers me because their relationship seems so real. By the looks of it, Stace does have actual feelings.
“Yep.”
“It doesn’t bother you.” It’s more of a statement than a question but I still answer it.
“Nope.”
“Hmmm.”

 

I put on ‘Rick and Morty.’ He laughs at the stuff Rick says. I put it on because I know he likes this show. I like to see him laugh. In school, he always has his guards up. His walls are so thick that I don’t think anyone can melt them. Then, these nights when we’re together it’s almost as if he doesn’t have to keep his walls up. He lets them down as soon as he walks into my door. His eyes are relaxed and his body is just comfortable.
I laugh at Morty.
“I thought this show wasn’t funny.” He knows it’s pretty comical. But no matter how many times I laugh, I always deny it. This show is stupid, to be honest. I can’t stand it, but the shows are fascinatingly weird.
“It’s not,” I try to hide my smile. I can’t though.
“Right.”

I lay down. He lays down, too. It’s dark in my room, the only light that’s illuminating is the t.v. I face him and he faces him. ‘Rick and Morty’ is forgotten.
“I wanna kiss you,” he whispers.
I bluntness takes me by surprise. He moves closer.
So close that can see small specks of bronze color in his eyes.
So so close that I notice his eyelashes curl and almost touch his brow bone.
And then he lips me mine. My eyes involuntarily close. His lip soft and luscious. His hands caress the side my face. His tongue touches my lips lightly and I open up for him. He tastes like nirvana. I moan and get closer to him.
Dave’s hand gently grazes my neck and travels down my side and make its way to the back of my knee. It stops there. My hand timidly skims his chest.
He turns me on my back and comes on top of me. I can feel all of him. His chest against my boobs, his stomach on mine. His weight comforts me. I love how big he is. David kisses me like it’s his most favorite thing in the world. He savors me and explores my mouth. His tongue meets mine and they dance around. Then, he sucks on my lower lips and gently bites it. It makes we want to explode.
Without thinking my legs go around his want looking for something. My stomach is filled with ache. An ache I have never felt before. And my boobs feel sore. As if they need something to caress them.
His mouth drags down to my neck. He licks and nips it has me panting. I wrap my legs tighter and feel something hard against. It causes the I’ve been looking for. It feels so good. I gasp when his tongue tastes my cleavage. My hands go to his hair and pull it tenderly. And his hands touch my tits and squeezes them. I moan loudly, the sensation feels like wonderful.
“Please,” I beg. I don’t know what I’m asking.
He seems to know because he grabs a handful of my ass and presses it against him. I grab his head and guide his mouth toward mine. Our teeth clash and tongues meet once again. He turns his head for more access and thrust his hips forward. I meet his thrust with my own.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” He murmurs.
“I’ve wanted you since..” he kisses me.
Since?
But the kiss erases all the questions I have. His veiny hand slides under my shirt. They’re so warm and rough.
“Ohhhh my,” I sigh. It feels amazing.
I lift my hands up.
“You sure?” He asks.
I bite my lip and nod.
My shirt is off.
“Your turn.”
Dave’s shirt is off in less than a second. He is beautiful. Washboard abs and a happy trail to die for. He open kisses me again with open mouth. Our hips are meeting each other with need.
“This feels so good,” I moan.
“You feel better than a dream.” He whispers as his mouth goes around a nipple over my bra.
“Ohhh shiiitttttt,” second time I’ve ever sworn. It feels so so good though.
He looks at me.
“Did you just.... Did you just swear?”
I sheepishly look at him, “maybe.”
My braver hands run down his pecs and abs. But stop at the top of his belt.
“Do you know how beautiful you look? You’re hazel eyes brighter than ever. Your hair all spread out in this pillow.” He gives me a peck on the lips.
“Thank you.” Not knowing what else to say.

 

A knock interrupts us.

“

Jaz?” It’s Stacey.

I clear my throat, “yeah?”

She turns the doorknob, but it’s locked.I usually never lock my door because I don’t have a reason to.

“We need to talk.”

“Can we talk tomorrow?”

“It’s about Matt.”

I earn a confused look by David.

“Tomorrow.”

I hear her shuffle. I can sense her frustration out the room. But I don’t feel like talking.

“Fine. Tomorrow and don’t try to avoid me,” I hear her stomp to her room.
Dave who was over me lays on the bed.

The mood is gone but I’m glad. I don’t think I would’ve stopped him if we went further.

“You okay,” he asks after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah of course,” I snicker. I was almost caught making out with David.

“Do you wanna stay over?” I ask.

He doesn't answer my question. He does spoon me. No shirt. The skin on skin feels nice. His body heat feels like a blanket. And just like that, I fall asleep.

Impressum

Texte: Misunderstood
Bildmaterialien: Misunderstood
Lektorat: Misunderstood and Gabby T.
Übersetzung: This book is MINE! It'll be very narcissistic, lifeless and un-motivational of you to steal MY book. Thanks for reading!
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 18.12.2013

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Widmung:
To my very good friend/family Gabby. Thanks for everything you've done! You are a great person and editor. To my brothers and their opinions. My friends and family. To all those people that have been bullied, keep your head up, don't give up because that is exactly what they want! BUT!!! Most Significant, I dedicate this to all my readers! Thank you.