ONE
"Annabel, get up. You're going to be late for school." I heard my dad yell up the stairs. I groaned and got up to shower.
Twenty minutes later I headed down to the kitchen. Dad was already there when I pushed open the door."Mornin' beautiful,"he said as he handed me a glass of orange juice.
"Umm,hi. What are you still doin here? Your usually at work by now."
"Yes, well, I thought you would like a ride to school this morning,"he said in an innocent voice. He hasn't offered me a ride to school or any chance to socialize since mom died.
She died on my eighth birthday in a car accident. There's just something about me and birthdays. Something terrible happens every year. I think I'm cursed. I mention that once to my therapist and he said that my reaction was normal for a 'disturbed young adult'. After that I just stuck with saying I was fine and that I wasn't afraid of my birthdays anymore. He bought it for the most part. I don't have to see him on a weekly bases now. The only time I see him is once a month to get a refill on my crazy pills. Dad hates it when I call them that so I made it a habit to always refer to them as that. "Oh, okay, well I was just going to take the bus," I said, confused.
"I must insist that you let me drive you," he said it in a light voice but in a way that says you have to whether you want to or not.
"Well, if you insist," I mumbled in a low voice that I thought he coudn't hear. I was wrong.
"Please, hold the sarcasim. I'm driving you to school and that's that," his voice was no longer light.
I rolled my eyes and downed the rest of my jucie.
I ran to the hall closet to grab my coat and scarf, picked my backpack off the floor where I dropped it the previous day, and ran to the car. A few minutes later dad apeared in the doorway of the house, trying to lock the front door and tie his tie at the same time. I sat there and let him struggle until he finally gave up on the tie for the moment and locked the door before running out to the car. I could see the frustration in his eyes as he tried to tie the tie again. I heard him mutter under his breath,"we are not leaving until I get this."
For the second time that morning I rolled my eyes. Unbuckleing my seat belt, I leaned over him and roughly pushed his hands out of the way and tied his tie,"There, can we go now?"
"How did you do that?" he puzzled in awe.
"It doesn't matter. Can we go now? I'm going to be late for school,"I snapped.
Okay here's the thing. I love my dad dispite the fact that he's a jerk and that he's never around. I don't mind if I'm late for school either. I'm just scared. The only time he ever wants to sit and 'talk' is to yell at me for a bad grade or for getting a detention or something bad like that. But I didn't do any thing this time. So what could he possibly want to yell at me for.
"We need to talk, Anna,"he sounded nervous. That scared me even more.
"What's up, dad?" I was surprised at how calm my voice sounded.
"I got a promotion at work and they want me to relocate,"I breathed a sigh of relief. We've been through this before. We've moved so many times that I just stopped trying to make new friends a long time ago. "So where are we going this time?"
"Well, see, that's what we need to talk about. They want me back in Italy."Uh-oh.
I used to live in Italy. It was my home. We left because mom got really scared about something right before her accident that caused her death. With her last words she made dad promise to get me out of Italy and to never ever come back. Her body is still buried out in Corniglia, Italy, where I was born. Right after her funneral, we hopped on a plane and never looked back. Until now.
"We can't go. You'll have to tell your boss to give you a different location. We can't go. You promised her," my words came out in a rush. I didn't have to say how 'her' was. His eyes and lips tightened at the mention of her. He doesn't like to be reminded of her. Hence, one of the reasons he doesn't love me.
"That's the thing, Anna. I promised Sole that you would never step foot in Italy again. I didn't say any thing about me returning. Do you understand what I'm saying, Annabel?" I did. I understood perfectly. He didn't want me any more and this is his way out of being a parent. He never wanted kids. The only reason he agreed to have me was because that's what my mother wanted. Sole got everything she wanted. I can't go home. He can, he is.
"What are you going to do with me?" I asked in a small voice. I knew this would happen. I knew one day I was going to lose him to. But I wasn't expecting it so soon. I thought he would at least wait until I was eighteen to leave me, to finally admit to his hate for me. I know he blames me for her death. I can see it in his eyes when he looks at me. i don't mind to much anymore. Hell, I blame myself anyway.
"Jesus Annabel, you make it sound like I'm throwing you away." Because that's how it feels.
"Isn't that what you're doing?" I realize we had stopped at a red light. I threw open the door of the car and ran through the intersection. I heard my dad yelling at me to come back. I heard cars honking their horns at me but I didn't stop to see where I was going, I didn't stop to think about what I was doing. I just ran and ran.
I didn't stop until I reached the edge of town. By then it had started to rain. It poured harder with each passing minute. I retraced my steps back to the park in the center of town. Siting on the swing, I wondered where I would go. I have no other family, no friends that I can stay with. I wondered if he would just drop me off at an orphanage or a foster care home or if he would simply be gone when I got back home. I pondered my new situation for hours and hours.


TWO


I didn't start walking back home until the sun went down. By the time I reached the end of the drive way it was almost midnight. All the lights in the house were on. I could see the christmas tree through the window. Dad was siting on the couch with his head in his hands, waiting up for me. This is the first time he's ever wait up. If I didn't know any better I would say he was crying. But that's impossible, the man has no feelings, no heart. His heart shattered a long time ago and he never bothered to pick up the peices again, not even for his own daughter.
I stood there, at the end of the drive way and watched his shaking shoulders. All day I refused to let myself cry but seeing this heartless man crying his eyes out broke me. I felt the tears start pouring down my face. Once they came they didn't stop. I can't imagine why he's crying. Surely he can't be crying because he's leaving. He wants to go. It's not like he's leaving anything he could ever miss.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to dry my eyes. It proved to be usless as more tears covered my face. I paused at the door before pushing it open and stepping through. I paused when I reached the living room. Dad hadn't heard me come in.
His shoulders had stopped shaking, maybe it was my imagination. He certainly wasn't crying now. I guess he was just frusated that he has to go find me before he leaves. That explaination fits better than a heartless man crying.
I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I could only think of one thing to say,"Did you ever love me or was I just the gift you could never exchange?"
He jumped at the sound of my voice, "Annabel, how can you say that? Your my daughter,"he took a couple steps toward me.
He didn't answer the question.
"By whose definition?" I ran out of the room without waiting for an answer. I tour up the stairs and slammed into my room. I pushed my dresser in front of my door, grabbed my pellow and layed down in the window seat, my head proped against the window. My silent tears became sobs.
I don't know how much time passed but finally my tears dried into hiccups. I heard foot steps in the hall that stopped at my door. I held my breath and prayed. Don't ask me what I prayed for. I wouldn't be able to tell you if it was for him to just walk away or if it was for him to come on in and tell me that I'm wrong, that he really does love me.
The door knob turned half way. I squeezed my eyes shut.
And he kept walking.
I breathed a sigh of relief and stared out the window, watching the snow fall.
My last thought before I fell asleep was that my birthday is three days away.


***********************************************

When I opened my eyes, my alarm clock said it was three in the morning. My neck was screaming at me to move. I, very carefuly, stood up and rolled my head on my shoulders, trying to work out the kinks. That done, I walked over to my dresser and pushed it away from my door. Then I got out some sweat pants and a tank top. Despite the freezing weather, the house always stays hot.
I walked back to my window, intending on closing the blinds when I saw a shadow standing on the side walk, staring up at me. I frooze, my hand falling back to my side. The figure outside cocked his head as if to say 'follow me', and turned to the alley way next to my house.
Have you ever seen a scary movie that made you scream at the stupid girls for following the creepy guy into the dark, scary places? I've seen them all and I still had the strange urge to follow him anyway.
Call me crazy but I grabbed my sweater and tip-toed down the hallway and stopped at the top of the stairs. I glanced back at my fathers door to see if he had heard me and was coming out to investigate. Even if he did hear me. I didn't think he would get out of bed just to see what I was doing. I was right.
I slowly made my way down stairs and though the kitchen, out the back door leading into the alley.
He was the frist thing I saw when I closed the door. Leaned up against the wall opposite of me was a young man, no more than three years older then me. He was tall with shaggy blonde hair. He looked built, like extremly built. The closer I looked the more I saw. He wore a small cross around his neck. Just under that cross was a thin scar that ran from under his chin and disappeared down his shirt. He wore a ring that looked like he belonged to a private club of some sort.
"You look well, Annabel,"he said.
"How do you know my name? Who are you?" He didn't look familiar so I didn't think I had ever met him before. I would remember a face like his.
He whispered something I couldn't hear.
Against my better judgement I took a step toward him , trying to catch whatever it was that he had said. "I'm sorry, what was that?"
"I said, we've been looking for you for a very long time now. You've caused a lot of trouble for us and in three days time you will pay for that," he lunged at me, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me toward him, trapping me between him and the other building behind him.I yelped when he leaned his body against me, preventing me from trying to struggle.
"Now be a good girl and don't scream. Don't worry I'm not going to kill you yet. You're not old enough yet. But in three days there will be nothing keeping me from ending your life and the lives of those just like you," he whispered in my ear.
"W..what? Who are you? Let me go," I was starting to panic. Who was this creep and how did he know me. A better question was why the hell did he want to kill me. And what did he mean 'those like me'? Did he mean the other unloved girls that hated there life? A thousand questions raced through my mind but they all disappeared when he started nibbling on my earlobe.
"I'll let you go when I'm ready. Mmm...You smell so good," okay, it was offical. This guy is a major creep. Worse yet, I was stupid enough to come out here to him.
I stopped yelling at myself in my head when his lips lowered to my neck. I thought I was going to be sick when he licked me. I was in big trouble. The way he was acting I was pretty sure he was planning on having his way with me. He already admitted to planning on killing me.
There was no way I was going to just stand here and let him do whatever he wants to me. I started thrashing and pulling and trying to throw him off of me. I only suceeded in pissing him off.
I didn't see the brooken medal pole sticking out of the wall until he lifted me up and and slammed me on it. The pole went straight through my shoulder.
There was nothing I could have done to stop the blood turning scream that ripped past my lips. I screamed so loud that I surprised the guy holding me and he let go. I could hear the slurping sound of my blood as I slid of the pole and down the wall, to the ground.
I couldn't see past my tears. The guy leaned down and whispered in my ear,"You think that was pain? That was only a taste of what is to come to you on your birthday. Then, you will be of age and I will kill you slowly and painfully. This was just a warning,"he grabbed my arm and brought it up to his lips. I thought he was going to kiss me. I was surprised when he bit me instead. He bit so hard he broke skin and left a gash that would need stiches.
I hardly felt the bit, my shoulder hurt to much to think, to feel anything else.
"You've been marked," and just like that, he was gone.
There were no more tears. The pain became a distant numb. I started seeing black spots. It was so hard to keep my head up. "Help....help me," I tried to scream it but it only came out as a whisper.
Suddenly, my dad's face came into my line of site. He had a phone to his ear and he was yelling something at the person on the other line.
"Anna! Annabel,answer me! Annabel, can you hear me? Baby, talk to me. Hang in there, Anna. You're going to be okay. You're going to be fine."
He looked so heartbroken. I tried to answer him, to assure him that I was fine, that I couldn't feel the pain any more, but I was to tired. I couldn't open my mouth and my eyes were closing.
The last thing I heard before the blackness took over was the sirens rushing to come and help me.


THREE


When I woke up, I saw the strangest thing. There was a little girl that looked about eight years old, leaning down over my face, looking at me like I was the most facinating thing she had ever seen.
"Good mornin'," the girl said with a southern accient.
"Who are you?" I had no idea where I was or who she was. I just barely remembered what had happened the night before...or was it the night before? I wasn't sure how much time had past.
"That is the question of my life. I don't remember. My docter says my name is Lily Lou. They say I have amneisa, isn't that a fun word to say, amnesia, amnesia," she laughed, "I guess I was in a car acident and bumped my head and now I don't remember much. My mom is always crying and crying and crying. She cryed so much that they made her leave for a while so she can calm down some," she leaned in to whisper, "I don't think she knows how to calm down," she giggled. She has that cute little girls voice that everyone loves and she talks a hundred miles an hour.
By this time I had survaed my surroundings. I was in your typical hospital room. The walls were painted a fading yellow, there were various tubes sticking out of my arms, hooked up to machines that beeped every time I shifted. Someone had changed me into a hospital gown. It looked like someone had slept on the fold out bed in front of the window, the pillows and blankets were still out ad unkept.
I looked toward the door and saw that it was cracked open. I could see the nurses and doctors rushing by, they seemed to be looking for something, or someone.
The door started to open and Lily Lou ran into the bathroom just inside the door, hiding. A short blonde headed nurse came in and looked around, hardly sparing me a glance. I cleared my throat until she settled her eyes on me and raised a questioning eyebrow. I nodded toward the bathroom and she got my meaning.
"You have three seconds Lou. One, Two..," the girl came sulking out of the bathroom. "Why must we play this game every week. No one wants to be bothered with your no sense, don't you get that?" the nurse scolded the little girl as she drug her out of the room. I heard her tell the other nurses and doctors that she found the girl.
Seconds after the door closed, it opened again. Instead of a nurse, it was my father.
He looked bed ragged and out of place. He also looked nervous, very nervous. "H..how are you feeling?" he shoved his hands in his pockets and stayed by the door. I just stared at him, my expression blank, or so I hoped.
A pained expression crossed his face when I didn't answer him. He looked down and crossed the room, over to the fold out couch where he started straightening things up.
"Soo...do you need anything?" he asked, looking at everything but me.
"Yeah, you," I meant to say it in my head but it slipped out and he winced. I could see him starting to pretend I hadn't said anything. He does that often. So much in fact that you would think I would be used to and I am, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt every time.
"Is it really so hard to try and care about me," my eye's were tearing up. At that second he looked so miserable and tried that I almost felt sorry I said anything. Then I remembered all the times I felt like that and only got even more angry.
Just like always, he changed the subject, "What happened in that alley, Annabel?" And just like always, I was crushed that he didn't even try to deny my accusation.
"What do you care? You're getting rid of me soon enough," I snapped at him. Again, he winced, but didn't say anything to deny it.
A few minutes went by before he asked again, "What happened in that alley,Annabel?" he used his super stern voice that says I have to answer him right away or it meant trouble.
"I'm not sure," I finally answered him.
"What do you mean you're not sure? How can you not be sure, you were there weren't you?" his temper was rising. I refuse to talk to him when he's angry, so I continued to stare at him till he understood why I wasn't talking.
He took a deep breath and tryed again,"What do you mean you're not sure,Anna?" this time he sounded concerned. "Who did this to you, Anna? Did you see what they looked like? Was there more than what person? What all did they do to you? I need to know this stuff, sweetheart. The police need to know."
"I don't know who he was, Aurthor. I've never seen him before, but he seemed to know me pretty well," I couldn't look him in the eye.
"What do you mean, Anna?" he's voice sounded frusterated.
"Never mind," I changed my mind about telling him. I couldn't tell anyone, espeacially him. He never understood me, what made me think he suddenly would now?

Impressum

Texte: This book is copyright and it is illegal to copy, so don't do it.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.11.2010

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Widmung:
thanks to my best friend Alexis Coomer,for pushing me to keep writing. I love you girl.