1. Welcome to the City.

If you were to venture one day to the city of Carmago you would find at the heart of the many streets and intersections a coffee shop called Ben Dover’s Café. The café was never short of customers, was almost always filled to the brim with coffee/cappuccino-fuelled fanatics. The popularity of this little café has never ceased to be beaten but alas those that tried have failed and the reason? The man that was behind the establishment of such a fine institution was of course Ben Dover – a big guy with a big heart whose number one priority was his duty towards others. To everyone else a customer was money but to Ben they were royalty - the means to fund his living. And that is why a small coffee shop like Ben Dover’s Café really was the heart of the city.

Adorned with characteristics to suit all, Ben was never short of friends…but his love life that was a whole different story. A sorry one, a morbid, solitary tale that was doomed to failure. In fact it never got off the shelf. All girls ever saw was his almost laughable exterior, his slightly extravagant dress sense and most undoubtedly his weight. Although conditionally unsuccessful in finding someone to love, tonight was a night to romance- he had a date, and boy was he excited.
“So Ben, you’re rather chirpy today, who’s the lucky lady?” Jose, Ben’s best friend commented through his floppy bed head hair.

Ben glanced up from the box he was opening, an unrestrained smile imprinted on his face. He had known José since he was a small boy and they’d grown up together. Be it scraped knees, first loves, broken hearts- they had done it together. He couldn’t withhold what could possibly the most important part instalment in his life so far.
“That good huh?” Jose laughed.
“Well to answer your question Jose, I’d say yes she is. Quite a number really, something fancy to hang off my arm, you get my drift…?” Ben said.
Aiming to bombard Ben with questions, Jose hacked over them in his head. His dark blue eyes roved excitedly as he glanced expectedly at his friend.
“So what’s her name?”
Ben bit his lip.
“Um… Hayleigh I think.”
“You think? When did you meet this girl Ben?”
There was a small silence. Turning slightly scarlet, he uttered his reply.
“About a hour ago on my lunch break, I met her in McDonald’s, she looked a little, well, lost so I said my greetings and she was all over me like a rash… it was like I was a celebrity…”
“So naturally you…”
“Invite her to go out of course.” Ben grinned, finishing the sentence.
Jose rolled his eyes. Ben’s dates were always a case of feeling sorry for people, and generally always ended in tears. Somehow or the other Ben ended up being taken for a ride—a very long, nauseating, almost suicidal ride… Still beggars can’t be choosers.


2. The First Date

That evening Ben applied the finishing touches to his outfit. With a checked red and white shirt, black checked trousers and a dashing of cologne he felt the business—all it took was a touch of classiness and he could be transformed into a true gentleman. Hayleigh was going to be so pleased!

Grabbing his mouth freshener, he paraded into the café’s lobby, enjoying his ten minutes of fame from his customers before leaving for the date that could very well change his life. Planning to meet Hayleigh outside the restaurants doors, Ben was slightly amused to see her already standing there; looking slightly on the impatient side…wasn’t it in the daters’ handbook that the lady arrives a few minutes later? Figuring she must’ve had a new version he hurried to greet her.
“Hayleigh! Good evening!” Ben said chirpily.
Hayleigh’s mouth was set in a firm frown.
“Where have you been!? I’ve been waiting ages, I looked such a loner standing here all on my own, I could see all those couples pitying me as they walked past and here’s me thinking I’ve got a date, I HAVE, he’s just STANDING ME UP!”
“What! But we weren’t supposed to meet till 8pm I’m on time, bang on in fact look.” He said, indicating to his watch.
“Argh! You’re so out of date, you should know the gentleman always arrives half an hour early!”
“Do they?” Ben murmured; his face befuddled.
Hayleigh sighed, threw her hands up in frustration.
“Oh forget it, come on let’s get down to it.”
His chirpy grin slipping slightly, Ben followed Hayleigh into the restaurants entrance hall.

Greeted at the podium by a waiter, Ben was asked for his name.
“Ben Dover.” He replied.
“Excuse me sir? I asked for your name, not a crude comment. What is your name?”
Mystified Ben repeated himself.
“Sir would you PLEASE tell me your name.”
“Ben Dover!” he repeated calmly.
“No sir, I will NOT bend over! If you carry on these shenanigans I will report you to the manager!”
Cursing the day his mother decided to christen him Ben, he tried to joke through his embarrassment.
“No I assure you I’m not asking you to bend over, my name is Ben Dover,” he said, with as much assurance as he could muster.
The waiter glanced suspiciously at Ben, a judgmental remark plastered on his face.
“Prove it.” He muttered through clenched teeth.

By now the whole episode had lasted far too long, and gathered behind them stood many people, all in their Sunday Best, looking intolerant to wait. Groaning Ben delved through his pockets, fumbling over aged receipts and bus tickets to try and find some sort of identification. Eventually he came upon his bus pass, pulling it out he showed it to the waiter. Reluctantly the waiter nodded, wrote down Ben’s name and led them into the seating area.
“Smoking or non smoking?” he said slowly.
“No smoking please.” Ben said.
“Hey wait I have a part in this too, I want to sit in the smoking area!” Hayleigh piped up.
Ben’s enthusiasm for the night all having dried up, a scowl set to curd cream formed on his lips. An acrid glare enveloping both the waiter and Hayleigh he agreed to her terms.
“Sure whatever, like the date isn’t ruined enough already.”
The pair was led to a seating area enveloped in cigarette fumes. Ben couldn’t stand smoking and this was worse then he could possibly imagine. Despite the smoke the table looked pretty with a white tablecloth, smart china vase and a single red rose in its helm. A candle burned brightly by the vase; perfect for lighting your fags with he thought dryly.

Despite the bad start Ben decided to be a gentleman and pulled out Hayleigh’s seat for her. She sat down almost as quickly as he pulled the chair out, staring at him as if to wonder why he was still standing there. Trying to not let it bother him Ben sat down and quickly glanced over the menu. This kind of eatery wouldn’t have been his normal choice and much of the menu didn’t sound too appetising. Frogs legs anyone? Deciding the best option was a lasagne with a unique twist he wondered what Hayleigh would decide to order. The answer arrived fifteen minutes later in the form of a simple salad that looked so unappetising even a rabbit might turn its nose up. Sighing Ben decided he had to make something of the date and tried striking conversation.
“So Hayleigh, what sort of things do you like doing?”
“Erm Ben, if that’s what your name is; how could you embarrass me like that? Standing for 20 minutes as you try to sort your stupid name out, and why have a bloody name like that anyway? And I’m stressed enough as it is without that to back it up!”
Ben was gob smacked, could the night get any worse?

Sniffing slightly Hayleigh pulled out a pocket mirror from her handbag and peered cautiously at her reflection, every now and again she would purse her lips, lift her eyes and then frown, cursing at the image.
“Umm Hayleigh?” Ben said.
“Yeah what?”
“Could you please put the mirror down?”
She glanced up, her eyes narrowed—from her expression it was clear she was not impressed.
“You think I’m a ugly goon don’t you!” she accused.
“No, no I don’t you’re lovely, in fact I never got the chance to say it tonight but you look beautiful.”
It was clear Hayleigh didn’t believe a word of it, in her disillusioned state of mind any positive comment meant the opposite.

Rifling through her bag she took out two packets of pills and put them on the table. She took two of each before washing them down with a glass of wine. Ben looked curiously at the pill bottles trying to read what the writing said on them. All he could make out was some sort of medical jargon that didn’t make any sense to him. Glancing up Hayleigh caught him staring at her, he quickly averted his eyes but she knew he had been looking.
“What are you looking at? These are my sweeties if you’re interested.” She said proudly.
“Sweeties? What do you mean they look like medicine to me.” Ben muttered.
She looked at Ben as if he was stupid.
“Of course it’s medicine, it keeps my mood swings under control but I prefer to call them my sweets because I don’t like taking medicine too much. I was supposed to take two earlier in MacDonald’s but I didn’t want to.”
A sense of uneasiness rose up Ben’s spine. Did Hayleigh have some sort of mental issues?
“Erm not to state the obvious but if you were supposed to take your pills to keep you happy why didn’t you.”
She shrugged, her gaze suggesting she was bored.
“I don’t know, just doesn’t go so well with my food I guess. So at least if I take them now I’ll still be getting my proper dose.”
Not wanting to argue Ben nodded weakly. He looked around him trying to find the nearest exit but in the end his courteous manners meant he decided to stay. He smiled, racking his brains to think of something interesting to say.
“So… this is nice isn’t it?”
Glancing up he saw she was more interested in staring at the couple next door.

He could sense their embarrassment as she sat and watched them eat their food, her mouth watering as they started on their Italian delicacies. Just witnessing such an act made him feel uncomfortable and desperate to leave. At this rate Ben would be able to write a book on some of the world’s worst dates imaginable.
“Err Hayleigh… I don’t mean to interrupt but I think they’re trying to eat in peace.”
Her head turned quickly, her eyes as sharp as a vultures trained on Ben’s face taking in his features. She was silent for a moment, almost as if she was contemplating what action to take next.
“Have you got a problem with me?” She said quietly, her voice drowned in anger.
“No I just don’t think you should be looking at people when they’re eating.” He said calmly.
The couple glanced over, their gaze both sympathetic and thankful.
“I was just interested okay.” She said finally.
“Okay.” Ben muttered.
As time went on he wished he had a back up plan but he was always too nice for his own good. Even if Hayleigh was a crazy mare it was only right to pay the bill and see her home, or even into the nearest taxi. Glancing at their empty plates Ben decided it was time to signal the waiter.

As Ben glanced around the room trying to catch the eye of the nearest waiter available Hayleigh began to fidget nervously in her chair. Hearing a loud clattering noise Ben turned around to see the table’s vase had been knocked violently onto the floor. The single red rose lay pitifully on the floor, like the symbol of oncoming danger.

Clearly Ben should have paid more attention to it as his gaze rose from the flower to Hayleigh’s face. An appalled look seemed to eat away at her; it was like she wanted to rip the flesh of anyone who came in her way. It was obvious the chemical balance in Hayleigh’s brain had gone drastically wrong, as she seemed set to cause a scene. Pushing the table away from her, straight into Ben’s belly, she picked up her glass and waved it about dangerously. Meanwhile Ben looked on, a cagey expression transforming his face. Her behaviour was questionable, what was she going to do?
“Hayleigh…please what’s wrong?” he started.
“How dare you ruin my night out like this Ben, all I was looking for was a bit of companionship and you wreck it all with your pathetic acts and dumb comments. I hope you know what an upset you’ve given me, and when I’m already depressed too! If I ever see you again it’d be too soon, good riddance!” she yelled, throwing the contents of her glass at Ben before storming off.
Without a single look back she threw the now empty glass onto the floor. The sound of the glass shattering shocked the restaurant into silence as the chaos created the wake of calm.


3. Wrong place, wrong time

Equally dripping wet and humiliated, Ben welcomed all revolted glares with his own bitter stare. This wasn’t the first time he’d been humiliated by a date but it was certainly the only time he’d been surprised by a girl who hadn’t taken her happy pills. Every time he went all out to impress a girl and what did he get in return? At best a battered ego and at worst he lost every inch of dignity he struggled to maintain. What right did these girls have to use that sort of power over him? Still when he tried to look on the bright side of things, he realised he could make a fair few dollars from a book on his ordeals.

Trying to compose himself he turned around to see a waiter standing directly behind him. The waiter who was clearly trying to suppress his laughter had a pinched smile on his face, his laughing eyes denying the emotion he was trying to hold in.
“Sir, would you like a tissue with that?” he muttered through clenched teeth.
As Ben stared through weary eyes—captured the look of mock on the waiters face—he just snapped. A sensation of searing rage pouring through him, Ben’s face clouded, his eyebrows funnelled together, and his fist burrowed itself into the waiters face.
“Now you can shove your service, and your tissue and your wine where the sun don’t shine!!” Ben screeched.

Meaty, strong arms clamped onto Ben’s as he was pulled off the livid waiter, only to be roughly escorted to the manager’s office. As he was ushered through the crowded dining room, all that had viewed the scene dismissed feelings of repugnance through their glares—sent Ben’s rowdy exterior slinking back into the cage it escaped from as a sorry, apologetic face replaced it.

Ben wasn’t a violent man, it was simply a case of wrong place, wrong time. Angry at the way women had treated him he was bound to snap at one point or another, but why did it have to be here. Beating the stuffing out of his old teddy would have been a much more safe bet. Cursing himself Ben made a vow never to let a woman affect him like that again. The two men holding onto him seemed determined never to let him go, surely they could see this was a accident? Hoping for the best Ben braced himself as he entered the managers office.

Inside the office Ben sat quietly in a chair, his mind focused on forming a reasonably acceptable apology. As he glanced up from pondering the manager’s face blared a demeaning sense of incrimination. By the looks of it Ben wasn’t going to be let away with just a warning. Gulping slowly Ben felt the prickles of sweat forming like colonies on his forehead, felt the trickle of anxiety slither down his spine. As the waiter in question entered the office, a triumphant smirk formed on his lips, Ben could feel his rage bubbling up once more. He knew he couldn’t let it consume him, he had to control the rage and remember the good times, the people in his coffee shop, his best friend Jose.

The manager was a tall stocky man, with a baldhead and unshaved stubble on his face. He wasn’t what you would call attractive but he was sure women were drawn to the man’s rugged exterior and his bad boy attitude. His smart attire made him look like he was straight out of a gangster movie.
“So Ben I hear you did this to our wonderful waiters face?” The manager started, addressing Ben.
“Yes I did, but I can tell you it wasn’t without reason!” Ben muttered.
“Is this true Brendan?” the manager questioned to the waiter.
The waiter feigned shock.
“No, no way he came at me like a animal, pushing me to the ground before punching my face in!”
“That’s a lie and you know it is!” Ben shouted.
The manager turned round slowly, his beady eyes settling on Ben’s form.
“A lie? So would you like to explain what really happened?”
“First of all when I came in here with a girl he seemed to think I was telling him to bend over when it was my name! Then when the girl got a little, well, rowdy she threw drink all over me and HE came and sneered in my face, trying ever so hard to force his laughter back. If he had no self control he would’ve been laughing in my face!” Ben muttered.
The manager let out a low chortle, his face set in a sneer.
“So you reckon that’s a good enough reason to launch a savage attack on one of our best waiters? These waiters give you their time, their hours of service and you throw it back in their face by pulling a stunt like this… I think we’re going to have to get the police in to sort this out.” The manager snorted.
The colour drained from Ben’s face and he seemed to go positively white as he absorbed the manager’s words.
“What! But you can’t…”
“Why can’t we? You assaulted a waiter that’s news enough for us.”
“Oh man.” Ben groaned, his face in his hands.
What if he got sent to jail, what would happen to his coffee shop, the heart of the community? It would go down like a block of demolished flats. And so would Ben.

Swallowing his pride Ben tried to apologise.
“Please sir, can’t I just give my sincere apology and then we can just sweep this under the carpet?” he said hopefully.
The manager’s eyes gawked at Ben as if he was crazy. He looked around the room and smiled at the waiter who sat there innocently, like butter wouldn’t melt.
“After an indecent assault against our waiters? You’d be lucky my son. The police are on their way, what they do with you is their own choice.”
“This is outrageous!” Ben yelled.
“You would say that.” The waiter laughed.
Minutes later the police arrived, their manner both professional and stern.
“Where is he?” they asked.
The manager pointed directly at Ben and smirked as the cops closed the handcuffs on Ben’s wrists. The cuffs felt cold and restrictive on his wrists and he could only bear to think positive thoughts as they led him away. Anything negative would be enough to destroy him.


4. Allo Allo

As the police car pulled up outside the station Ben suddenly felt very self-conscious. He’d never had so much as a speed ticket in his life and now he had been arrested for assault. The handcuffs felt heavy and imprisoning on his wrists, the air claustrophobic and suffocating. His eyes scanned the exterior of the modern police station with its multi million-dollar security.

With barbed wire mounted on 10-foot walls there wasn’t much hope of a prisoner escaping from here. As the policeman opened the door for him he shuffled out his weight making it difficult to get up properly. He took a good look around at the car park; it was virtually empty the police wagons out protecting the streets from hooligans like him. The car park was bright with light as floodlights directed the way. No one would be joyriding a police car in a hurry!

With a smirk imprinted on his lips he felt a bit of resilience come back. If he was going to go down, it wasn’t without a fight. As he followed the footsteps of the chief officer, he felt his heart pacing in rhythm with the beat of his feet, pounding faster and faster as his eyes fixed on the heavy metal gate. The gate led into the heart of the police station, a station that some would call the beginning passage to hell. As he was led through the gate into a tunnel of locks and more gates Ben tried to calm himself down, singing happy songs in his head. As he gave his details to the receptionist he waited patiently to be taken into the interview room. Led into the police station, Ben’s details were taken before he was taken to the interview room.

The interviewer checked over Ben, his eyes curious.
“Haven’t seen you around here before.”
“Well I don’t tend to commit crimes often.” Ben replied sarcastically.
“I see. What are you in for?”
“Hitting a waiter out of self defence, I don’t even know why I’m here it wasn’t even that serious!”
“Speak poorly of your case again and we’ll detain you for breach of rules held here.”
Ben sighed, his face sucked into a deep look of depression.
“Interview starting at 21:02 hours.” The police officer said, as he pressed the record tape on the player.
“Right if you go from start to finish and tell us your account of today’s events please.”
“Well I was meeting this girl Hayleigh for a date, I met her and then we went up to the podium to get a seat but the waiter serving me…. He seemed to think I was telling him to bend over!” Ben explained.
“Were you?”
The lines on Ben’s face tightened. Why did he always end up having to defend his own perfectly reasonable actions!?
“No of course not, my name is Ben Dover!”
“I see…” the officer sniggered slightly.
“Oh yeah that’s it laugh, it isn’t that bad!”
“No of course not.” He replied, trying hard to keep a straight face.
“Okay anyway what happened after that?”
“Well I tried for half an hour to book a seat with him thinking every time I was telling him to bend over and finally I show him some ID and he accepts my name. Then after a disastrous date he mocked me in every way he could, and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I hit him!” Ben exclaimed.
He hoped his frank explanation of events would be enough to settle such a petty issue.
“Let me stop you there, he annoyed you in every way he could? When he kindly offered you a tissue to clean yourself up?” the officer snorted.
Ben felt powerless; whatever he said would just be upstaged by the waiter’s claims.
“It was the look on his face, it was sheer mocking! Surely you know the feeling!” Ben stressed.
The officer shook his head.
“Afraid not. Well we’ve got both your statements and considering this is your first offence and you don’t appear to be a violent person let this be a sharp warning to you.”
A blanket of relief engulfed Ben; he’d won!
“Will I have a criminal record?”
“No… but should you commit this offence again you may be officially charged with assault.”
“Don’t worry officer that won’t happen again!”
“Glad to hear it.”
Triumphant that he was a free man Ben left the interview room in delight. Meanwhile, the officer glanced over at the door, a bemused expression plastered on his face.
“Ben Dover!” he spoke duly, not quite believing the ridiculousness of the name.

The next morning Ben was roused from sleep by the sound of a sharp rapping on the door. Irritated that he’d been woken early on a Sunday he ignored the knocking. In answer to this act of ignorance, the rapping rose up a notch on the sound wave scale.
“Alright, alright I’m coming! Jesus what’s so urgent in this time of morning anyways?” Ben yelled.
Yanking the door open Ben was surprised to see an anxious looking Jose on the doorstep. Sweat lined his brow and perspiration swarmed on his forehead.
“Jose what ever is wrong?!” Ben cried.
“You better have a look at this.” He replied, shoving a newspaper in Ben’s face.
Taking the newspaper Ben’s eyes scanned frantically over the front page article.

BEN DOVER MUGGING RIOT the headline read, jumping like bullets straight through Ben’s eyes. His heart racing he read on.

Last night around the time of 12:30am a local waiter Cristiano Marko was mugged roughly by a man he claims announced his presence, as “Ben Dover”. The magnitude of events clearly tides in with the earlier incident in which the man in question, Ben Dover, punched the waiter in what he claimed was ‘self defenced’. Police are taking the uncalled for matter very seriously, in which the victims car, a red Larda was stolen.

Ben dropped the paper in disbelief. What the paper was claiming was totally and utterly ridiculous, he was in bed at the time the incident took place.
“Jose there’s no question that this is a pathetic matter.”
Jose stared uneasily at his friend.
“Ben, are you not taking any of this in? The police are going to come and question you again. You went on the date with Hayleigh last night didn’t you.”
Ben nodded solemnly. Jose rolled his eyes as if to say ‘I told you so’.
“Look don’t even start on the pep talk okay ‘cos I don’t want to know right now.”
“But Ben you know what taking in all those waifs and strangers does to you, you end up in a state like this! And there’s this waiter claiming it was you who mugged him! Why you would want a car like that I don’t know but that’s not the point.”
Frustrated Ben peered through the corridor leading to the stairs.
“When are the police gonna come knocking?”
“How about now?” Jose murmured, his gaze settling on the two officers scaling the stairs.

The whitewashed walls of the police interview room had started to become familiar territory for Ben as he sat facing two officers that looked like their frowns had been set in stone. Aggravation invaded him as the chief officer loitered in chat with his companion whilst setting up the tape recorder. Drumming his fingers against the table as a hint Ben was relieved to see the tape had started to roll.
“Interview started at 9:30am. With Mister Ben Dover. Accompanying officers are Mr Smith and Johnson.”
“So Ben where were you in the early hours of this morning?”
“In bed.” Ben replied simply.
“What were you doing in bed?”
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“You know what people usually do in bed…” he paused for effect.
“Sleeping.” He finished.
Officer Smith shuffled his notes.
“Yes of course. So do you have anyone to back up this alibi?”
Ben thought frantically, roving over his acquaintances in his head, in the end only one came to light.
“Barney can.”
“Well what’s Barney’s number, we need to be able to interview him.”
“Oh Barney wouldn’t like that.”
A frown erupted on Smith’s face.
“Look Ben do you want to get out of here or not? At this rate it looks like you’ll be punished for something you may or may not have done!”
“No seriously you wouldn’t get much sense out of Barney.” Ben insisted.
“Why not?”
“Because Barney’s a fish.” Ben said glumly.
Whilst Smith’s exasperation towards Ben’s attitude was hard to contain, Johnson found the sudden revelation quite amusing.
“Yes Dover I’m sure Barney would love to back you up but he can’t think past his next swim around the bowl right now, so I suggest that you pull your act together or face a cosy night down in the cells.” Smith said sternly.
“You know if you had a parrot you might have been able to use him as a witness in this case.” Johnson chuckled.
“Funny.” Ben mumbled under his breath.
“Carrying on. I’m sure you know by now of the serious event that took place at 12:30 this morning. The waiter in question Cristiano Marko was indeed assaulted by you earlier in the evening, in which you came to be questioned in this very here interview room, am I correct?”
“Yes sir.” Ben muttered.
“And am I therefore correct to assume that you later, severely annoyed with the turn of events waited out for Cristiano and mugged him, stealing in your conquest his Larda car?”
“No!” Ben insisted.
“I would never steal, my mum brought me up to be a good lad not a ruffian.” He continued.
As honest as he was being it was doubtful that the officers would believe his side of the story. How he got roped into this he didn’t know.
“Look officer are you sure the waiter heard the assailant correctly?”
“Yes of course, he recalls hearing the name Ben Dover.”
Imagining the event in his mind eye Ben realised something, something drastic.
“You say he said he was sure he heard my name? Well maybe he heard bend over. You can tell how similar they are, I get made a laughing stock out of it! Please for goodness sake, investigate it.”
A look of desperation filled Ben’s eyes as he looked at the officers for pity. Scratching his head in hope of stirring his grey matter officer Smith looked thoughtful.
“Now I think about it, it does sound that way…”
“Thank you!” Ben sighed.
“But… we can’t rely on that alone, we need evidence. Hopefully we can turn up the car, see if your fingerprints are on it.”
“But that will take ages!”
“Or we’ve got some CCTV footage, we can go over that see if the figure matches your physical description.”
“Perfect, then we can sort out this fiasco once and for all.” Ben said triumphantly.
Only it wasn’t that simple…

Slipping the CCTV footage into the video slot a musky, dark image appeared on the screen. Within that image came the profile of Cristiano making his way to his car, his keys jangling merrily at his side—then like a shadow of the night another profile slipped out of the darkness. Silence filled the interview room as the trio stared intently at the monitor.
“What the…” Smith muttered.
Visible for all to see was the physicality of the assailant. All six foot of him—encased in what could be only described as a mountain of hair – with the addition of specs.
“Well I guess what we’re looking for is a Cousin IT look-alike.” Johnson sniggered.
Ben banged his head on the table in defeat.
“This isn’t funny!” he whimpered.
“Hey wait a minute, Cristiano is slumped over the bonnet and is being body searched by Cousin IT here, do you think that could’ve been when he mistake the words bend over for Ben Dover?” Smith suggested.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Ben cried.
Switching off the video Smith turned to address Ben.
“Although we’ve seen footage of the incident, it doesn’t actually tell us anything we didn’t already know…”
“Except that someone is in dire need of a haircut.” Johnson added.
Smith turned to Johnson a satirical look on his face.
“Or maybe they were just in fancy dress.” He suggested.
“Well there’s that too of course.”
“Anyway, the video doesn’t prove anything conclusive- it could be anyone in that costume—including you. It does show however that at some point Cristiano was leaning over the bonnet. He may have been forced to having previously misinterpreted the hairy assailants order ‘Bend over’ as ‘Ben Dover’, returning for his revenge. Thus disobeying the assailants commands and being punished in return.”
A round of applause filled the room.
“Here, here.” Ben agreed.
Smith smiled weakly.
“It doesn’t mean you’re off the hook yet, we hopefully should uncover the stolen car soon and that should unearth some answers. Until then we’ve got nothing to hold you here any longer- no real substantial evidence.”
Ben’s face lit up.
“So I’m free to go?”
“For now. But if that car has got any of your fingerprints on it you’ll be back in this interview room quicker then you can say ‘Bobs your uncle’.”
“Or bend over and give me fifty!” Johnson added.
The look on Ben’s face was clearly far from comical.


5. The Hoover Demonstration

Hour’s later standing at the bar, Jose couldn’t quite work out what the dim expression on Ben’s face was there for. Notable for his chirpy, friendly service the customers were sure going to get a dodgy deal with his current snappy state.
“Ben you’ve practically got off Scot free with the police, what’s the problem?” Jose enquired.
Ben stayed put with his back facing Jose. He pretended to be filling a mug of already overflowing coffee.
“Not quite, they’ve got to find the car yet.”
“But your prints wont be on the car will they…”
“No.” Ben sniffed.
“So what’s the real problem?”
“Nothing.”
Intrigued by Ben’s evident huff Jose pried further.
“You’ll make the cream curdle.” Jose sniggered.
That did the trick. Ben spun round angrily forgetting that at that moment in time he was holding a steaming mug of coffee. Naturally, the contents went everywhere. Perfect.
“For pete’s sake!” Ben screamed; disrupting what was a fairly quiet afternoon.
Jose hurried over taking the spilt coffee from Ben’s hand.
“Hey Mary can you take over for a minute, Ben needs a quiet word.”
“Sure.” She replied.
Scurrying into the back office dragging a reluctant Ben with him Jose planned to sort this out once and for all.
“Ben, really what is the problem?”
“Nothing - like I said.” Ben sniffed.
“Look I know you, you’re never like this, all this business with the police and that disastrous date it’s messed you up! You need some serious therapy and I know exactly the place.” Jose paused slightly, a mysterious smile appearing on his lips.

“Where is this place? Where are we going?” Ben demanded.
“It’s auction night at the Wackodollars it’s going to be a blast!”
“Auction night? What? How?”
“A man gets auctioned off a night to a unlimited number of women, however many want to have him basically. The main purpose is you get to have some sort of courtship with these women and one of them has got to turn out good! Don’t I come up with great ideas!?” Jose grinned.
“Oh yeah, you should be a philosopher.” Ben said dryly.
A middle-aged lady met arriving backstage the duo, she looked at Jose then glanced curiously at Ben.
“So gentlemen, is this polite, strong looking man our auction for tonight?”
“Sure is.” Jose grinned, slapping Ben on the back.
“What’s his name?” she said, addressing Ben as if he was a child.
“Ben Dover.” Jose said boldly.
The lady stared hard at Ben, her eyes roving his
“I just hope he’s good with his hands.” The lady muttered, walking off.
Ben gulped; these women sure seemed forward. Why did Jose have to drag him into this?


As the cue to go onstage grew nearer Ben could feel his heart slowly begin to gain pace. He could just imagine what it would be like out there: the audience used to a load of bronzed, toned baby oiled hunks will be welcomed to an excessively large slab of reality. Before he knew it Jose was ushering him out onto the stage, the host excitedly announcing Ben’s arrival. Ben gulped anxiously. Staring back at him from the audience were around 10 rows of women…old women. Now these ladies certainly weren’t what he expected to be sharpening the knife on a daily basis. Hoping the ladies were all wolves in sheep’s clothing and would suddenly burst into a whirlwind of young skin and modern clothes Ben waited in anticipation. Suddenly the prop assistant ran on stage with a vacuum cleaner, plugging it in quickly they handed the object over to Ben.
“Right ladies, Ben will now demonstrate how good he is with his sucking skills.”
Ben’s mouth dropped open in a large oval shape. Who would have thought it hey, what these old ladies hide under their bingo and knitting routines? Stuck to the spot through shock Ben just gaped at the host.
“Come on now Ben darling get on with your sucking.”
He obeyed immediately and picking up the vacuum put his mouth to the nozzle – and lo and bygone he started sucking in what became a close competition with the vacuum winning.

The host and audience were mortified and stared at Ben as if he was something that had escaped straight out of an asylum.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” the host yelled.
Ben put down the vacuum and rubbed his now throbbing lip.
“I was doing what you told me to do… sucking…” the realisation slowly dawned on him.
“I meant suck the dust off the floor you nincompoop! What sort of sick sex show do you think this is?!” the host screamed.
“So this wasn’t an auction for hungry young females who wanted a date…?”
“No… this was a auction for ladies who wanted a helping hand in their cleaning NOT THEIR KNICKERS!”
Ben suddenly felt very humiliated, and he knew who was right at the foot of the blame - JOSE!
Just as he went to walk off stage Jose came running breathlessly through the side exit.
“Ben, Ben, we got the wrong place… it’s the Wallodollars not the Wackodollars.”
“You’re telling me.” Ben hissed slowly.

Sensing a hostile aura Ben knew he had to leave. Turning his back on Jose he stormed towards the exit.
“Ben, wait up!” Jose shouted.
Ben carried on walking.
“Come on Ben you know I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“Do you know how humiliated I feel?!” Ben said without stopping.
Jose sighed.
“I made a mistake yeah, and I’m sorry. Why can’t you see the funny side of it? Where’s the old Ben gone?” Jose asked sadly.
Finally Ben stopped. His shoulders slumped and his face fell.
“I’m just so lonely Jose, everyone thinks I’m some sort of joke and for once I want to be taken seriously. Just because I’m big doesn’t mean I don’t want a girlfriend, a family. Why wont anyone give me a chance?!”
Joes’s eyes widened as he saw his usually strong and defiant friend’s face transform into one of wretched misery.
“Why won’t anyone take me seriously Jose? Why?” Ben said once more, his eyes full of sadness.

Hating the sight of his best friend looking so sad Jose pulled Ben into his arms. He had to think of some way to get Ben a girlfriend, one who would respect Ben for who he was. But how? His last idea went down the pan and Ben was unlikely to go to another charity auction in a hurry. Then as if a light had gone on in his head Jose got an idea. Joining a gym! Girls aplenty were bound to be working out, getting in a sweat and looking for men in Lycra surely?
“Hey Ben I’ve got an idea!” Jose said brightly.
Ben pulled away wiping his eyes on his sleeve.
“Another bright idea?” he sneered.
Jose smiled.
“This is a really, really good idea to get a girl.”
“Enlighten me.”
“Well let’s join a gym!”
Ben’s mouth dropped into a large oval and Jose realised the implication of what he’d said.
“Oh I’ve done it again haven’t I?” Jose realised upon seeing Ben’s mortified face.
“I know I’m fat Jose but no need to rub it in! Jesus is that all you’ve got to say lose weight and you’ll get a girl, is that it? No ladies for you at your size hey Ben. You’re just a fat, ugly loser with no hopes!” Ben yelled.
Wishing the ground would swallow him up Jose grimaced. He had to put this right, somehow.
“You know I would never think that Ben, okay sure you would probably do better if you lost a few pounds but...”
“Oh I knew it! I thought maybe you didn’t mean what you said but hey that just confirmed it!”

Turning on his heels Ben went to leave. Grabbing his shoulder Jose pulled him back. The pair stared at each other, Ben’s eyes full of hurt and Jose’s apologetic.
“No! God why do you keep getting the wrong idea?? Look, like I said your chances would increase if you were slimmer but I wanted you to join a gym because girls are there, lots of them!”
Ben’s face softened.
“Really?” he said quietly.
“Yes! I just want you to be happy Ben that’s all.”
“Maybe I could lose a few pounds while I’m there too…” Ben said.
“Whatever makes you happy.” Jose laughed.
Unbeknown to Ben Jose’s fingers were firmly crossed behind his back.


6. Gym will fix it

A bold, red banner illuminated the gym’s entrance, immediately introducing itself as Big Bob’s Bionic Gym – the one for big biceps, big brains and big packages.
“So Ben, big I mean old chap you ready to meet some ladies?” Jose asked chirpily.
Ben turned away from the gym’s name and turned to face Jose.
“What’s with the name?” Ben enquired.
“What name?”
“The gyms name of course.”
Jose glanced up at the banner, unfazed by what he saw he turned back to Ben.
“Oh that.”
“Yes that…?”
“You mean the big packages thing?”
Ben nodded.
“Well duh.” He continued.
“Don’t worry Ben even you qualify for this one.” Jose laughed.
Ben stood motionless for a second not quite aware of Jose’s meaning. Was Jose insulting him? Confused he hurried to catch up with his friend.

The interior of the lobby was extremely well lit and had a strong smell of chlorine that stung the nose like an angry wasp stings its foes. Ben glanced around taking in the interior fixtures. Two female clerks, both sat in identical positions with identical bored expressions engraved in their features manned a reception area. One slowly filed her nails whilst the other stared into space. Working in a gym must be such a riveting occupation Ben thought dryly. Aside from Ben and Jose there were little customers, obviously the result of the girls apparent boredom. Still at least they wouldn’t have to queue, Ben thought brightly.
“Hey Ben I’ve already got a membership here so I’m just going to get prepped while you register, is that okay?” Jose asked.
“Yeah sure, go on. Just come back here when you’re ready.”
“Sure thing, see you in a minute.” Jose grinned, walking off in the direction of the opposite door.
Following Jose’s leave Ben reverted back to his analysis of the gym’s lobby. By now only one receptionist remained and still she maintained that constant, steely gaze of nothingness. Guessing the other clerk had gone to check out things in the back Ben felt fairly confident in approaching the counter; he smiled waiting for a response. He didn’t get one.

Unaware of whether the remaining receptionist was rude or just damn right stupid Ben waited a few minutes more. Still receiving no response Ben began to get angry. Waving his hand in the girls face he couldn’t understand why she didn’t even flinch – blink – move even… what was wrong with her? Did she have some sort of muscle paralysis?
“Hello anybody in there?!?” Ben shouted.
Once more all Ben heard was the echo of his own voice. Sustaining her eerie, steady and overbearing gaze the clerk’s stare blared at Ben instantly sending a shiver of anxiety down his spine. He couldn’t help but notice how awfully unnerving her look was – it was like she had been framed or something. His eyes searched desperately for the other receptionist but found nothing, nothing but this poor excuse of a receptionist - what ever happened to customer service? Frustrated Ben tapped robustly on the girls arm and to his shock her body seemed to tip over, falling heavily to the floor.
“Dear god, all I did was tap her!” Ben exclaimed through his shock as the other clerk finally came rushing in.

Rushing to see the commotion in the lobby, Lola, the vacant receptionist, appeared again. As she approached the doorway her eyes locked on Ben’s desperate, uneasy figure. His eyes roamed anxiously whilst portraying an emotion of deep despair. Glancing away from Ben her eyes fell on her companion – the customer service cardboard dummy. Oh dear – another day, another sucker. How many more people were going to think dear old Susie Service was real? Surely that scary scare should ring some bells in people’s minds. Glancing back at Ben’s frantic face she changed her mind – obviously not.
“Oh no you killed her!” Lola exclaimed.
Ben gasped; it was only then that he’d noticed the second receptionist had returned.

Up close she certainly seemed more attractive then far away. Her eyes, framed by lashings of mascara, were a deep sea blue, her nose a mere button, her mouth a crescent of smooth, unmarked skin. Tiny freckles were scattered on the base of her nose and extended onto her cheeks. Her blonde, layered hair fell loosely around her shoulders, as Ben watched she automatically tucked several hairs behind her ears.
“Yep, she’s a goner. In fact…” reaching down she gathered up the dropped leaflets that were once sat neatly in Susie Service’s deposit tray.
“Here’s her lifeline now.” Lola laughed as the leaflets dropped all over Ben’s head.
“Ahhh, what the heck, Jesus, I thought this was blood.”
Lola rolled her eyes.
“No, its leaflet’s. Susie Service’s leaflets. She’s a flipping cardboard cut out!”
Ben breathed a huge sigh of relief.
“Thank god for that!” Ben laughed.
Smiling weakly Lola tried to maintain her grip on reality – it certainly was hard to uphold in this mad house.
“So I’m guessing you came here for something. So what have you got, the small package or the big package?” she asked politely.
Ben suddenly felt very offended. Were receptionists supposed to intrude into your personal circumstances like this?
“Excuse me?”
The receptionist stared blankly.
“Small package or big package, simple question isn’t it?” she asked.
Ben’s forehead furrowed and his brow knitted together as he tried to interpret the situation. As perplexing as it seemed, he knew this complexity of big packages had something to do with the gym’s name. But what?
“Don’t you think what you’re asking me is a little rude?!” Ben said finally.
Lola groaned.
“For gods sake! There’s two types of memberships and they’re known as small and big packages.” Lola explained as if she was talking to a two year old. She’d probably get more sense out of one anyway.
“Oh.” Ben uttered as reality hit hard. Again.
“Now it all makes sense!” Ben laughed.
“Uh huh. Shall I explain what each membership involves?” Lola asked.
“Oh yes please.”
“Right. Small package gym membership you’re entitled to using all machinery and equipment except the sauna rooms, Jacuzzi and swimming pool. Big package membership you’re obviously entitled to using everything you could ever wish to use.”
Ben smiled. He knew what he was going to choose – it was the big package thorough and through.
“Well I think it will have to be the big package please, got to have all avenues covered haven’t you – never know what might crop up!” Ben said jollily.
“Of course sir. By the way I need to know what your name is, to enter it into the system.” Lola requested.
“My name?” Ben stuttered.
Lola nodded slowly, her face set in a slightly sarcastic tone. This guy was a bag of laughs, really he was.
“It’s Ben Dover.” Ben uttered quickly.
“Sorry I didn’t quite catch that.” Lola said, “Repeat please.”
Shifting his body to the side Ben repeated his name, slower this time.
“Ahhh Ben Dover. What a curious name.” Lola grinned.
Ben’s face settled into an intimidating manner.
“No need to let out any little gags – I’ve heard them all, believe me.” Ben muttered.
Lola’s eyes locked with Ben’s. A sense of individualism was portrayed. One that said I’m not like all the others, so don’t you dare compare them to me.
“Your card.” Lola said, handing Ben the membership card.
“Of course, thanks.” Ben muttered, turning away. Just then Jose came out of the door he had left in.
“What’s holding you Ben, come on!”
“Sure.” Ben said taking a final glance at Lola before following Jose towards the business end of the gym.

Compared to the lobby the gym was a flurry of energy. Females and males, tall and small, fat and thin, chubby and in-between – the gym was full of them – working heatedly to achieve the goal that is set in every persons mind almost from birth – of gaining the perfect body, the toned, defined set of abs. A flood of colour hit Ben’s eyes as he took in all the varying gym outfits – red lycra, purple lycra, black sweatpants, black leggings… the list went on and on. At least Ben wouldn’t look out of place here, a place where not one person is the same.
“Come on Ben get changed!” Jose insisted.
“Okay, okay I won’t be a minute.”
“You better not be you wasted enough time just registering.”
“Yes well there’s a story behind that one.”
“I’d love to hear it.” Jose suggested.
Ben shrugged.
“You’ve heard it all before.”
Jose only wished he hadn’t. Amazingly Ben only took a few minutes to get ready, was soon jogging out of the changing room equipped in his black and red adidas tracksuit.
“Right Jose you all prepped and ready to go?” Ben grinned.
“Ready when you are.”
“Right…” Ben muttered, his eyes frantically scanning the room.
Many of the machines were being used but a set of treadmills at the exterior of the gym lay empty.
“They’re beckoning us Jose.” Ben said.
“Best not disappoint them then hey Ben.” Jose replied.

Stepping onto the treadmill Ben pressed the power button and waited for the machine to kick into life. The treadmill was only set on low – perfectly apt for a beginner. After a few minutes of slowly trundling along Ben got bored, setting the dial a notch higher he perceived the faster pace as challenging for around ten minutes – then he got bored of that too. Even for a newcomer like himself the treadmill seemed to be rattling along so slowly.
“Hey Jose.” Ben said.
“Mmm?” Jose questioned without looking at Ben.
“These things go a bit slow don’t they?”
“Do they?” Jose replied.
“Oh yeah. I mean where’s the challenge in walking practically?”
“Walking? If it’s that low set it higher Ben.” Jose said in a matter of fact tone.
Obedient as a dog to his master Ben set the dial one notch from the top.
“Now lets see how I man this baby.” Ben grinned ready to face the challenge.

It certainly came fast. As the belt of the treadmill thundered along at a rapid pace Ben’s feet flailed out underneath him, grabbing on for dear life his hands lunged at the safety bars gripping them like they would grip a roofs edge should they be hanging off them. His body taken in surprise, Ben felt his heart in his mouth, his breath frantic and desperate, hounding his body.
“Jose, need a little help here please!” Ben cried out.
Jose leaned over, his fingers quickly pressing the emergency stop button. Ben waited for the belt to halt – shudder – as it began to slow but nothing happened, the belt maintained its speedy, unaltered pace.
“I told you to stop it!” Ben shouted, his fraught eyes fixing on Jose.
“I did! You must have broke it, the emergency button wouldn’t work.”
“I did not!” Ben exclaimed.
His energy levels ceasing Ben didn’t think he could keep this up any longer. On the plus side he was bound to have lost a few pounds, after all, running at this rate must be a mini marathon at least!
“Come on Ben just jump off, at least then we can just go and sort the machine out with the staff.”
“Jump off!? I might hurt myself!” Ben stammered.
“A grazed knee is hardly a sign of a dented ego is it Ben?” Jose questioned.
Ben sniffed. He didn’t really like the idea but he wasn’t superman, he didn’t have the energy of a hero, therefore, a bit of a cut or bruise is surely a sign that he was half a hero – after all he stuck it out this long.

Facing facts though his physical state was quite a mess. His face was a pit of perspiration by now; the sweat clinging to his skin like glue, the stickiness leaving him feeling clammy and dank. He was going to have to take Jose’s advice. Braving himself Ben took a deep breath and tried to make his lunge to safety with as much dignity as he could muster. In typical Ben Dover style he failed miserably and fell flat on his face. His body meeting the floor with a thunderous smack shook not only everyone around him - with laughter - but himself with shame – dismay – because he knew once again he was the laughing stock, the fat guy who couldn’t do anything for mistakes. He couldn’t stand the looks of pity in some eyes, amusement in others… why was he any different to them, after all no one had the perfect body in here. But he wasn’t going to let them see him fall, oh no, he was going to come back, keep coming back and show every single one of them he meant business and that this ‘fat guy’ was worth more then the hundreds of them put together. Defiant in his attitude Ben got up, dusted himself off and grinned at the staring crowd.
“So how was that for a party trick?” he said loudly.
Everyone laughed. But this time there was a significant difference, they were laughing with him, not at him. And that’s when he became known at the gym as the jokester.


7. Francesca

It was a typical weekday morning in Ben Dover’s café as the cock-crow hour dawned and the flood of groggy, straight-out-of bed workers rushed in for that essential pick me up that came in the form of coffee. Many of Ben’s customers were regulars and over the years Ben had come to know them by name. There were always newcomers however and as Ben watched the inflow of customers he realised today was the day for new faces as a young, fresh-faced girl in her twenties came through the doors. She was petite and well dressed in tailored black trousers, smart black court shoes fronted by a small neat buckle in the shape of a triangle and a tidy white blouse that was hidden by a quaint little white cardigan, the cardigan remained unbuttoned and Ben could see by her name tag that this ladies name was Francesca.

Bitten by the wind her pale skin flushed pink and she shivered slightly from the brief cold that had yet to leave her in the warm coffee shop. Her small, olive eyes rounded the café with a refreshing interest as her mouth broke into a small smile.
“Hello how can I help you?” Ben asked with a smile.
Francesca grinned warmly, her face lighting up.
“I’ll have a moccachoccalatte and a warm bagel please, I need something to ward off this horrible cold,” she requested.
“Sure.” Ben replied taking her money.
She certainly seemed like a friendly character and broke into many minutes of friendly banter with Ben as she ate her breakfast. In the midst of serving customers Ben learnt a few interesting things about Francesca, firstly she was single and had been for many months, secondly she worked as a banker at Abbey National and thirdly she paid much attention to Ben, consistently praising him for running such a well serviced establishment. Ben was happy that Francesca had ventured into his café that morning, not only had it given him a new customer but it gave him a invitation into a mysterious ladies life, one that he would certainly be interested in accepting.

As the days passed Francesca became a regular fixture in the early morning rush, often chatting to Ben as she ate her bagel and drank her coffee. Through the snatches of information Ben gained as he chatted to Francesca he learnt a little bit more about her every second, from her favourite colour, to her preferred holiday destination. He’d begin to notice things about her too, like the way her eyes lit up when she smiled or how her ears jiggled when she laughed. It was curious observations but one that made Ben realise that Francesca had reminded of the woman he didn’t have – the woman who ideally he would love to be with should she want to be with him. He wanted to ask her for a date but why would a girl like her want to go on a date with him? After all she was sensible looking, smart, interesting and pretty girl; not an insane, insomniac like Hayleigh. Just the thought of her sent him into a cold sweat; he’d never been in trouble with the police before her yet now he had the blight of the police order hanging over him. Only girls like Hayleigh were interested in guys like him he thought miserably. They latched on like a leech driving their claws deep till they took him for all he had and then spat out his poor, sorry remains once more. But then Ben had always believed in fate, it’s how he managed to pull himself up off the floor each time girls like Hayleigh had blew him off, and there had been many times.

He believed in his heart that he’d find a nice girl one day and settle down, have a family and live happily ever after and although life wasn’t a fairy tale Ben knew one day he’d have his happy ending, all he needed was to keep trying, maybe Francesca would be the one? Guessing it was now or never Ben plucked up the courage to ask her for a date.
“So what do you think?” Ben asked expectantly.
Francesca’s eyes narrowed and hesitantly she began to bite her lip. The remains of her bagel seemed to provoke a sudden interest in Francesca then as her fingers, with the slightly chipped pink nail varnish and chewed nails, began to play with the crumbs.

Ben knew he’d hit her off guard and that he’d probably never had a hope in hell of getting a date with her; she just didn’t have the heart to tell him. Ben nodded as if he knew what was round the corner- her looking back up-her polite no then the excuse.
“Yes. Okay sure.” Francesca said finally.
Ben gasped. Had he heard her right? She smiled at him her eyes warm but slightly mysterious in nature.
“Where do you want to go?” she continued.
That confirmed it for him. Ben’s face instantly creased into a huge, beaming smile, his green eyes wide with incredible elation. None of the past mattered now; he had his whole future to think of, a future very possible filled by a lady whose name went by the very knowledgeable Francesca.
“How about a date at the bowling? I’m paying?” Ben asked.
Francesca smiled again.
“Sure.” She replied.
It was a simple one-word answer but it made Ben’s insides fizzle in expectant delight.


8. Bowling for a winner

Upon entering the bowling alley Ben felt like a kid again as the bright lights, excited voices and the sound of bowling balls impacting skittles hit his senses, throwing him into a childlike world of innocent joy and excitement. Francesca had planned to meet him inside and she hadn’t disappointed him. Unaware of his presence she sat, alone, with her back to him on a stool at the bar.

Grabbing his bowling shoes Ben approached Francesca and alerted her to his company with a cheery hello. She turned around with a queer smile, her olive eyes enquiring in his direction. Casual but stylishly dressed she wore boot cut jeans and a tight black strappy top. Her almond coloured hair was pulled back into a loose up do that was held in place with a black clip, whispery strands fell loosely from the style and were left to decorate her forehead. She had on a perfume that smelt nice but Ben couldn’t quite place the scent- flowers maybe? He was never too good in identifying smells.
“Hi Ben. You ready to go?” she asked.
“Yep, come on Fran it’s time for me to wow you with my superb bowling skills.”
“Not if I beat you to it.” She shrieked, running in front of Ben.

In the aftermath of much childlike behaviour – playful shoves and pushes – both Ben and Francesca arrived at the lane at the same time. Slipping the clown like bowling shoes onto his feet Ben dawdled in chitchat with Francesca whilst she too put on the most stylish fashion icon known to man.
“Who’s bowling first?” Francesca asked politely.
“As I’m a gentleman it’s ladies first of course.” Ben smiled.
Francesca giggled, her laugh was girly but not annoying – in fact Ben thought it was rather cute.
Inputting their details into the machine Ben motioned for Francesca to get ready. She reacted by gracefully picking up the ball between her thumb and forefingers and with a gentle but powerful run catapulted the ball into the lane. The ball rolled steadily, Ben held his breath as the ball neared the skittles; with one knock Francesca had won a strike!
Francesca whooped and turned to face Ben, her eyes challenging.
“Beat that buster!” she laughed.
Ben smiled coolly. She may have got the first strike but that was only because he’d let her go first, he’d soon be matching her score and her smile would be on the other side of her face. Ben may have been a gentleman when it came to his perfect etiquette but when it came to gaming it was a whole different ball game, if you excuse the pun.
“Go on Ben it’s your turn or can’t you face it, do you just want to hand the whole game over to me now and have it over with?” she sniggered.
Ben rebuffed such a suggestion.
“Me give up? Never!” he snorted.

Stepping boldly to the balls Ben glanced over at Francesca his face set into a mild smirk. Acting as professional as he could possibly muster Ben slotted his forefingers and thumb into the holes, all the while maintaining his cocky grin at Francesca. She smiled innocently, waiting for Ben to attempt his turn. Picking up the ball he walked over to the lane and did a little jog, warming his muscles up for lift off. His foot taking one step back, then another and another Ben found himself around four inches from the lane.

Taking a deep breath he steadied his bowling hand, this was it, it was time, running towards the lane he held the ball loose, ready for lift off. He was sure he’d thrown it but nothing had happened. Confused Ben glanced down at his hand; the ball was still attached.
“Is everything okay over there?” Francesca asked.
“Um, yes everything’s fine, the ball just didn’t come off last time, but not to worry I’ll just do it again.” Ben laughed.
“Okay doke.” She replied.
Repeating the process that should get him a master strike Ben flung himself out and waited for the sound of clunking skittles, only the sound didn’t come. Uneasiness had begun to sweep Ben’s system by this time as he realised there may be a reason for the balls apparent dislike to knocking skittles over.

Curiously he peered at his fingers in the holes, they certainly seemed to be fused solidly. If Francesca found out about this she’d be ribbing him for months. He couldn’t let that happen so sneakily he wet his fingers and then tried moving them about a bit – still nothing.
“Ben what’s wrong? Are you okay over there or do you need a little help?”
“No!” Ben said urgently.
“No? You sound a little worried, are you sure?” she said gently.
Ben grimaced.
“No, that’s a certain no okay Fran, its all systems go here.” Ben muttered.
Curiosity sprouted on Francesca’s features, was he plotting something? A ploy in which he could somehow throw a move that would gain him full marks every time? It was all so suspicious.
“Well why aren’t you bowling then?”
“I’m just… you know working my way up to it.”
“Okay…” she said suspiciously.
The slightly lubricated finger trick hadn’t worked in loosening his fingers so Ben had to think of something else. Glancing around the limited space he had to work in he spotted his glass of coke. He didn’t really fancy pouring his drink all over his hand but hey if it worked it would’ve been for a good cause wouldn’t it. And he could always buy another one. Aiming the glass he poured some of it in the holes and then twisted his fingers round, they still wouldn’t budge!!

Glancing slyly behind him Ben clocked Francesca glancing in the exact same direction her face unsure, as if she’d got an inkling of what he was up to. Gulping Ben turned back to the ball. How was he going to get out of this one? Maybe he should just own up but then Francesca would have the satisfaction of knowing Ben couldn’t even bowl the ball let alone get a strike! No that wasn’t the way… his brain working overtime Ben conjured a plan.
“Ben are we going to be here all night or are you just going to you know bowl the ball?” Francesca muttered; her voice slightly irritated.
“Yes Franny, I’m going to bowl right this very second.” Ben said chirpily.
Hoping his plan would work Ben pushed the stuck bowling ball up his jumper; he already had a spare tire so Francesca would be unlikely to notice the extra weight he’d suddenly put on since they’d entered the bowling alley.

Directing his free hand towards a new ball Ben carefully picked it up. It was certainly heavy carrying all this extra weight; he hoped his aim would still be up to shot. Tottering backwards Ben ran unsteadily towards the lane his arm outstretched ready to propel the ball forwards. Luckily for Ben this ball flew off his fingers like a rocket, trundling down the lane like it had nothing to lose…unluckily however the extra weight Ben was hiding under his jumper and the sudden burst of energy from the flying ball sent Ben with it, hurtling his stunned exterior onto the bowling lane. Groaning Ben rolled onto his back, slowly opening his eyes he saw Francesca’s figure hunched over his, her face creased into genuine concern.
“Ben, are you okay? Did you faint or something?”
“No I…” Ben stuttered.
Francesca’s eyes suddenly grew wide.
“Hey what the hell is that!?” she muttered, her fingers pointing to Ben’s extended midriff.
Throughout his little performance the bowling ball had shrewdly stayed in place. His face sheepish Ben knew his defiant act of attempting to keep in the game was a mistake. He should’ve just admitted his fingers were stuck in the first place at least Francesca wouldn’t think he was the fool she would think he was when his secret was revealed.
“The aliens did it.” Ben said lamely.
Francesca’s eyes turned sceptical. She clearly didn’t believe a word of it - and Ben was glad because if she had believed him then she obviously wasn’t the quick girl Ben thought her to be. Ben laughed, unveiling the bowling ball he glanced up at Francesca.
“You’re a clever girl, I didn’t think you’d work out I’d put on a stone or two since we came in here.” He said.
With her sudden insight Ben’s peculiar actions became perfectly understandable.
“I knew you were up to something Ben Dover! What the hell have you got a bowling ball stuffed up your shirt for?”
“Oh I was planning on taking it home and adding it to my collection.” Ben muttered sarcastically.
Francesca gasped, had she got Ben’s character wrong? Was his friendly, happy go lucky coffee shop ownership image just a pretence to hide his darker side – his side as a thief!? Ben looked at Francesca curiously; her eyes had widened with shock her mouth open slightly in amazement.
“You’ve fooled all these people all this time…. Jesus Christ how did you do it?”
Ben chewed his lip in bewilderment.
“Fran I was joking yeah? I don’t really have a collection of these at home.”
Her face sprouted into a deep emotion of relief.
“Oh thank god for that.” She laughed.
Ben’s eyes roved Francesca’s in worry. She spotted his sprout of concern and smiled awkwardly.
“Sarcasm doesn’t hit my funny bone.” She trilled.
“Fair enough now can you get me some help here!” Ben mumbled.
“What do you need help for?”
“This!” Ben shrieked pointing to his stuck fingers.
“Oooh.” She giggled.
The giggling didn’t stop there; in fact her giggling roared relentelessly for many minutes more. It wasn’t long before Ben grew tired of it and changed his mind about it being cute.
“Okay I get that you find it’s funny now come on get someone to get this ball off me.”
Francesca glanced at Ben her face creased in laughter; humour tears fell down her cheeks and her olive eyes crinkled in amusement. Just at that moment Ben realised this was probably the happiest Francesca had been in a long time. He hadn’t seen her laugh before but now he was glad he had, it was truly incredible - how her laugh transformed her face into a mirage of beauty. It may have been a cliché but it was true – a smile, a true smile in the form of a rippling laugh could transform even the hardest of face into a figure of beauty as happiness - it lit up the soul.
“Come on Ben I’ll give it a go.” She said finally, managing briefly to get a grip on her laughter.
Grasping the ball firmly in her hands she pulled at the ball with all her might; the effort infused into pulling was evident by the strained expression on her face, the determination in her eyes but despite her efforts the ball grasped Ben’s fingers as if it were some sort of modern day torture device. Dropping the ball Francesca stepped back for a breather. Glancing around Ben realised they’d got an audience; onlookers stared nosily at the scene, the shorter ones peering over taller shoulders.

Many of the bystanders sniggered at the ridiculousness of Ben’s feat imagining in their minds eye that it was his weight that contributed to his humiliating position. Others just shook their head in pity. Ben knew his situation looked a little odd, he even knew it was probably his own fault his fingers got stuck after all he was the one with a weight problem but what he knew most of all was the fact that it was downright rude to stare at someone and not offer to help!
“Right I’ve had enough of this I’m leaving.” Ben yelled, grabbing his coat.
Stumbling slightly a flustered Ben tucked his coat under the crook of his arm, held the bowling ball in his free hand and stumbled off. Francesca like the others watched flabbergasted as Ben fled the scene, his body shaking with every step he took.
“Show’s over.” Francesca yelled to those around her as she ran to catch up with Ben.
Just as she came into the reception of the bowling alley she heard a commotion overhead. Peering gingerly around the corner she saw Ben being accosted by a clerk
“What are you doing with our bowling ball?” the clerk enquired.
Ben glared irritably at the clerk.
“It’s stuck.” He said through gritted teeth.
The clerk scratched his head.
“Stuck?”
“Yes that’s what I said, what are you an echo?” Ben said rudely.
Francesca winced, that really wasn’t the way to talk to someone. In retaliation to Ben’s rudeness the clerk stood up straight, all 6ft of him, his eyes cruelly sizing Ben up.
“Okay smart arse, show me how this bowling alleys property is ‘stuck’ as you put it.”
“Pull my finger.” Ben muttered.
“Pull your finger? What?” the clerk questioned, his face not only irritated but confused too.
Ben rolled his eyes.
“The bowling ball is stuck to my fingers so by pulling the ball you will be pulling my fingers get it?”
“I’m telling you mate, if you’re lying about this…” the clerk threatened.
“I swear…” Ben said truthfully.

Grabbing hold of the ball the clerk pulled firmly, Ben watched the clerk’s attempt, his face smug in the knowledge that he’d fail. A second later Ben’s smug expression evaporated into disbelief as the ball came away in the clerk’s hands with a loud pop. The clerks face blared incrimination as a stunned faced Ben’s realised the implications of this extremely unexpected outcome.
“You swear do you mate? Little thief’s like you will get what’s coming to them!” the clerk roared.
Ben’s heart was in his mouth as he clocked the exit. He knew he didn’t have much time and certainly not enough to explain the truth. Consumed by nerves Ben willed his legs to move but under the pressure his legs had gone to jelly and shook in sheer trepidation. His eyes shifting anxiously, his face desperate Ben screamed silently for a saviour.
“Run!” a girls voice yelled.
Shocked by her sudden appearance Ben let Francesca’s flurry of energy bundle him out the bowling alleys exit down towards the street. As they escaped adrenaline-flooded Ben’s body filling him with a feeling of exhilaration so strong he’d never felt it before. For the first time in his life a girl had saved him from his own worst enemy – himself.


9. A picture of innocence

A while from the bowling alley Ben stopped; his back arched, his hands resting on his hips he gasped hungrily for breath. Directly behind him Francesca didn’t see Ben’s sudden stoop and crashed into him, the force of the impact sending her bag flying into the floor. The bag had fallen at Ben’s feet, its contents sprawled chaotically over the ground: lip-glosses, makeup items, a compact mirror, a purse and a photo attached to some keys. The photo seemed instantly to catch Ben’s attention as his eyes were drawn to it. It was dated, probably five or six years old and it contained the image of a man and woman proudly looking down at a newborn baby nestled in the crook of its dad’s arms. It seemed such a cosy, heart-warming image, the type of photo Ben could only imagine happening to him in his dreams.

Frantically stuffing her possessions back in her bag Francesca’s hand reached for the photo. His gaze hovering on the picture Ben’s mind was pondering on what he’d seen, the effect it had on him. As she grabbed the snap Ben’s eyes fell on her face, his eyes locked with hers, a direct, inquisitive emotion was portrayed through his eyes, penetrated through Francesca’s vision like a bullet. Ben held the gaze till Francesca turned away. He didn’t know what it was but something had made him feel uneasy, initiated the seeds of doubt in his stomach. It seemed he wasn’t the only one; Francesca stood awkwardly on the spot, her mouth pursed into a fake smile. Shoving the niggling doubt aside Ben smiled warmly, her eyes meeting his smile Francesca let her insecurity fade, transforming her forced smile into a reality that Ben recognised as a Francesca trademark.
“Who was in the photo?” Ben enquired curiously.
“Oh the photo… that was just me, my brother and his baby.”
“Oh?” Ben replied.
In his minds eye Ben could see the imprint of the photo; the image of two ecstatically happy people holding a baby, Ben wasn’t stupid that didn’t look like a sibling photo but then what was he to know, he was an only child after all.
“Well you sure have a cosy family life that’s all I can say.” Ben muttered, a hint of sadness in his voice.
Francesca looked at Ben, her eyes kind.
“Aw Ben, don’t worry about it I’m sure you’ll have a big family of your own one day.”
Ben looked at Francesca his face full of hope.
“Really? You think that?” his voice was high-pitched like a child excitedly questioning their parent.

No one had ever offered Ben that much hope before, the hope of having his fairy tale come true and so he grasped it dearly. His face was expectant, encouraged by her words, but he still needed the guarantee, the motion that would make it completely true. Her voice silenced she slipped her arm into Ben’s. It was a common knowledge that actions spoke louder then words, Ben had said it himself many times, but at this moment her actions told him everything he could ever want to know without even saying a word. As they neared the town Francesca suddenly cleared her throat.
“Hey Ben.” She said.
“Yeah what’s up?”
“I think in all the rush you forgot your shoes.” She said.
Glancing down Ben took in the hideous bowling shoes and laughed.
“Guess I’ll have something to add to my collection after all.” He added quietly.

A few days later as he tried to fill in paperwork Ben felt his mind diverging unhelpfully to the issues of his love life. He hadn’t heard from Francesca since their date, she hadn’t even come in for coffee. It pained him to think of her absence as he knew in his heart that it was probably Friday’s disastrous events making her think twice about even contemplating a life with a calamity zone like himself. As negative thoughts threatened to destroy his positive, upbeat mood Ben delved deep into his memories, relishing in the reality of the memory as her words flooded his head once more, those precious words of hope that made his dream of having a family that much easier to grasp.

Why would she offer such hope just to disappear into oblivion? It didn’t make any rational sense to Ben and he realised her absence was probably down to an illness, nothing more, nothing less. His mind at rest Ben found the art of concentration flood his head once more. An hour later Ben’s concentration was knocked once again as a loud noise from the café alerted his attention. Away from the café while he’d filled in necessary paperwork Ben’s staff were left to hold the fort. Aside from being Ben’s loyal binder, Jose, whose occupation involved working as headwaiter at the café, was left to cover Ben’s customer relations whilst he was away.

Today something was clearly rubbing him up the wrong way as his voice strained from shouting had a tone of agitation Ben had never even heard before. Unwilling to walk into a war zone Ben pricked his ears up, anxious to hear the next instalment in the loud argument outside.
“Oi you where do you think you’re going?! What do you want?” José yelled angrily.
As José spoke his voice was drowned by a loud, irate reply that seemed very near indeed. It was almost to close for comfort.
“Ben Dover!” he roared, spying the back room.
The walls seemed to shake as the irate man thundered down the short corridor. Only too willing to obey to the unidentified assailants commands Ben hurriedly jumped under the clothed table, quickly bending down out of sight. Crawling backwards as far as he could his back hit the far table leg, constricting him of space and forcing him to hug his body close, anything to avoid being spotted. Aware a single sound could lead his aggressor to locate his whereabouts Ben held his breath silently willing the man, whoever he was, to leave him alone.

Seconds dragged by agonisingly as Ben’s chest suppressed from the lack of air ached under the strain, Ben could feel his body aching for breath but knew he had to wait till the man had gone. Unknown to Ben the man had fled up the stairs searching Ben’s flat for his prey, finding nothing however he raced back to the backroom knocking over chairs and looking in cupboards in his destructive search of Ben’s belongings. Scratching his forehead the man stared angrily around the room, his eyes exploring and uncovering any possible hideout this Ben could stash himself in. From what he’d heard though he’d have a lot of trouble doing just that, most hiding places, they just weren’t big enough.

His mouth set in a cruel jeer the man spied the one place he hadn’t looked in the first place… under the table…it was so obvious yet it had passed him by. Tiptoeing he edged closer to the edge of the table, his hand outstretched ready to pull the tablecloth from shielding his foe. Underneath the table Ben heard the slight creaking of floorboards under somebody’s weight, saw the pair of ruffled jeans standing like thick posts just inches away. His breath stuck in his throat Ben felt his heart hammering in his chest as a finger reached for the underside of the cloth. As Ben waited to heed his fate the sound of what appeared to be a wounded cat entered his hearing range.
“Now get the hell out of here!” José yelled.
The abandonment and isolation Ben had felt when the man had entered the backroom unobstructed fell away. Jose hadn’t deserted him after all!
Peeking gingerly from under the table Ben saw Jose accompanied by two tall, well-built men.
“Sorry Ben I had to get back up, that man was a loose cannon!! I don’t know who he was but he was really on to you, have you upset anyone lately?” José asked gently.
Ben stared at José his face confused. Recalling over the last couple of weeks Ben couldn’t interpret a single time where he’d upset somebody so much that they felt they had to hound him down in such a rash, angry manner – avenge him for the wrong doings that Ben was unaware he’d even committed.
“I don’t think so…oh hang on a minute there was the bowling alley attendant, he thinks I nicked his bowling ball on purpose…he probably came here to teach me a lesson.” Ben said slowly.
Jose gazed curiously at Ben.
“Well that bowling ball must’ve meant a awful lot to him for him to waste his time tracking you down and then invading this place to hound you out.” Jose muttered.
Ben shrugged.
“Guess he doesn’t have much of a social life hey.”
Jose laughed; it was always in Ben’s character to make a joke out of a hairy situation, even if things were more complicated then they seemed. Smiling gaily Ben knelt down; slowly picking up the pieces of the backroom that were obstructed when the whirlwind of destruction momentarily flew through it.
“Lets just hope your lifetime of crime is over in that case Ben.” Jose muttered softly under his breath.

The next afternoon business was pretty quiet. As Ben polished the surfaces of the counter till they sparkled he was alerted by the rushed entry of a man entering the café. The man who stood around 6ft tall had messy, gelled brown hair, deep blue eyes and a hard sneer on his unfriendly face.
“Are you Ben?” the man roared.
Ben felt something inside him stir. Unaware of why he felt Goosebumps sprouting on his arms, an unavoidable chill whispering along his spine.
“Well?” he repeated.
Ben stood motionless for a second, who was this guy, why did he have such a weird affect on him? Frightened by the affect this man had on him Ben felt his hand silently slip under the counter, his fingers gently gripping the blade of a chopping knife.
“Yes… I’m Ben… who are you.” He said slowly.
The mystery of the unnamed man continued as he slowly nodded his head, his mask of anger slipping slightly.
“I’ve got someone for you to meet. Wait here.”
Curious Ben agreed. As the seconds dragged by Ben’s fear intensified… what was it this man had to show him? He felt the skin on his palm graze as the cuts of the knife dug into it.

Staring straight at the door Ben saw the man enter again followed by Francesca and a child. He felt his knees buckle, and the knife slipped instantly from his palm to the floor. As his eyes clouded over an image of a photo falling at his feet engulfed his mind, the ecstasy of this couple…such joy produced by the birth of a child… their child. A child that was standing a mere ten feet in front of him. A child produced by Francesca and her lover. She had lied to him and he’d been a fool once again.

What she did hurt more then any of the shenanigans caused by the other girls in his past, they’d never lied to him, not in the way she had. How could anyone do that? Deny the existence of their own child and their lover? Angry tears brimmed Ben’s eyes, his face becoming both sorrowful and lost as he stared at the girl he thought he knew. But the truth was he didn’t know her, didn’t know her at all.
“I’m sorry.” Francesca said meekly.
“Sorry? Is that all you can say?”
She bit her lip, her eyes avoiding Ben’s. It was the same indecisive expression she’d had the day he’d asked her out.
“I just wanted to see what it was like to be single again for once… I’m sorry Ben I just got so caught up in all the lies I denied my family even existed… I almost started to believe it myself.”
Disgusted Ben shook his head. Those words destroyed him more then her betrayal ever would. The denial of a family, a family he would die to have, what sort of person could even think of doing such a thing?
“I don’t know how you live with yourself Francesca. Most of all I don’t know how you could have done this to me, said those words when you KNEW how badly I wanted a family, what I’d do to have one. GET OUT.”
Without a word she slipped out of the café followed by her child and lover. Bending down to pick up the dropped knife Ben breathed a sigh of irritation.
“Didn’t even spend a penny. Bloody typical.”
The few customers that had witnessed the incident smiled with relief. He hadn’t lost his sense of humour after all.


10. Keeping it together

A fleeted glance out of the corner of his eye brought a dismal, pitched darkness, one lacking the illumination of a friendly moon – pretty stars. Diverting his gaze to his watch Ben saw the time, almost 11pm, practically closing time. He couldn’t stop though, he needed to keep working up a sweat, lose all the disgusting stones of fat clinging onto his meaty frame. If that’s what it took to get a girl it was the only way, no matter how tired and dehydrated he felt; he had to deny himself the luxuries of life if he ever wanted to find love.
******************************************************************
Making the last, customary checks of the night Lola walked around the gym making sure there wasn’t any late night enthusiasts lurking away in a cupboard somewhere. Walking wearily into the darkened gym she was surprised to hear the frenzied pace of a machine working in the corner. Her eyes allured by the noise followed it through the sea of desertion to a large figure slumped over one of the bicycle machines. She recognised it immediately as Ben, after all who would be able to forget his accident-prone persona.
“Hey Ben it’s lights out time. Better get your stuff and get on your way yeah?” Lola called out.
In response to Lola Ben’s hands grasped the handles of the bike firmer, his feet pounding away at the pedals. Didn’t she see? He needed to lose this weight; he didn’t need people like her demanding he get on his way.
“Didn’t you hear me?? I said its lights out time!” Lola repeated; her voice slightly irritated.
Ben gritted his teeth in determination, inside his mind he felt the same words revolving repeatedly round and round like a corkscrew, pounding at his temples, clawing at his sanity. Fat, fat, fat, again and again, it was all he heard. So many paths he could’ve walked down but they were all blocked, blocked by a disgusting, blubber ridden river of fatness. Only he could change that, and getting fit was the only way. Infuriated by his rudeness Lola stormed over to Ben, her mind intent on planting a ban on him for refusing to vacate the premises when asked.
“She said I’d have a family one day you know…people who loved me.” Ben said suddenly.
She stopped in her tracks. Suddenly exhausted from hours of non-stop exercising Ben stopped, climbed off the bike and with shaky steps fell to the floor.

Lola glanced down at him, aghast to see such a chirpy fellow look so crestfallen and lost, his face dripping with sweat looked hot and contorted with strain. Emerald green eyes stared up at her, full of an emotion she couldn’t recognise – pain, hurt – desolation? Maybe it was all three.
“Who said that?” she asked gently.
“Francesca… this girl I knew, I thought she liked me, wanted me. But the whole time she had a family of her own, was just using me, to see what it was like to be single again she said. Typical hey, a scapegoat as usual, that’s all I’m really useful for.”
“Hey don’t say that.” Lola said.
Ben rolled his eyes, a smirk in the shape of a lopsided grin falling on his lips.
“Why not? It’s what I am, all girls think so anyway. Because I look this way they never see inside, to see the person I am.”
Unconsciously her eyes fell from his gaze; trailed over the circumference of his face, fell on his lips.
“What’s wrong with you?”
The smirk dissolved into a sarcastic sneer, his eyebrows raised in scorn.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know just to spare my feelings, I’m sure a girl like you sees it just as much as every other girl.”
“No… enlighten me?”
“I’m fat!! Look at the size of me!” he yelled indignantly, his hands roughly gripping onto mounds of flesh.
A chortle escaping her lips she just grinned at Ben, her eyes smiling.
The irony lost on him his face demanded an explanation, he was pouring his heart out to her and she just laughed?! Lowering her body to his level she stepped nearer to Ben, so near he could hear her heartbeat, feel the warm trickle of her breath on his neck. Her hair fell playfully over her face framing her pretty eyes, her cute nose, he’d found her attractive before but this close she really was a picture, no picture wouldn’t do her justice, she was a masterpiece…

Astounded by her closeness his breath caught in his throat as she silently lifted her hand, her gold charm bracelet catching his eye as her fingers swept gently over the scorned tears that fell down his cheek. It seemed such a feminine, tender emotion, one of such depths he’d never experienced it before.
“No I don’t see that… what I see is those eyes of yours, so green they could rival a ocean. Or even one of the prettiest gems in the world. Now if no one else can see that they’re not worth the ground they stand on are they…” she whispered, her voice inches from Ben’s ears.

They say the eyes are the insight to the soul and at that moment Ben’s certainly were. His feelings of fatness washed over him as such a genuine; heart given comment took their place. A grateful smile engulfed his face, beaming at the benefactor of happiness. She smiled back; suddenly aware her lips were inches from his. As the tension increased Lola remembered her duty, backed off suddenly from a flabbergasted Ben.
“Hey I really think it is time to go now, yeah. I hope you’re okay now but I’ll probably lose my job if we don’t get out of here soon.”
“Okay, thanks. For everything.” Ben muttered.
“Anytime.” She grinned.
That night, that near kiss… it paved the slave for everything.


11. LaLa Lola

Dappled rays of sunlight filtered through the crack in the curtains, illuminating the sleeping form in the bed. Stuck in a half conscious, half unconscious state of mind Ben felt himself drift in and out of sleep, every time he felt like he was falling, falling into a state of oblivion he had no idea how to get out of, and every time he woke just before his fate could be realised as a hand, a slender, female hand became his saviour. Whose hand was it? Who was offering him this chance of salvation? Feeling his stomach jerk once more he knew he was falling, felt the sharp wind at his skin pinching as the depths grew wider, his eyes saw nothing but the morbid blankness till once again a hand, then a body then a… gasping he sat bolt upright in bed. Now he’d never know who the mysterious alias was.

As his heart gradually slowed down to a gentle beat he glanced around the room, saw nothing but Barney, swimming nonchalantly around his little tank, air bubbles piercing the picture perfect image. He waited till his heart stopped hammering before attempting to pull back the twisted covers, his muscles aching from his strenuous workout the night before. Staggering into the shower he let the warm flows of water wash the aches away, rubbing at the joints gingerly with his fingers he thought over the previous evening, remembered how close her face had been to his, the way she had looked at him. So why did she pull away? Did she like him or not? He didn’t really know but the truth was she had the chance to kiss him and she didn’t so obviously it was all a mistake, no surprises there then. Sighing Ben languished in the last few seconds of the warming spray before getting ready for work.

Exhausted from a frantic, busy morning Ben wound down for his lunch break. Glancing over at José he caught his eye, nodded at the chrome timepiece on the wall.
“You ready for lunch mate?”
Jose swiped at his brow.
“Just about.” He grinned.
Grabbing their jackets from the back room the two men headed towards the local pub, an image of a cool, refreshing beer languishing seductively in their minds eye. Work might not have been finished yet but one beer wouldn’t hurt, and Ben for one was in serious need of a relaxant, a tasty beverage that would relax his languid body, unleash the confusing, mixed up images of the night before that he was dying to be rid of, yet didn’t know how.
“Soo…” Jose started, coming back with two pints of Guinness.
Ben looked up, noted the inquisitive look on his friend’s face.
“What happened to you yesterday? You didn’t turn up for the evening shift or lockdown, you was lucky I was there or your shop would’ve been a free house for all the local thieves round these parts.”
A sheepish look crossed Ben’s face.
“Sorry…” he paused suddenly, as if deep in thought. “I just felt so down after that Francesca debacle that I spent all evening and night in the gym, I had to try and get rid of the fat that seems to describe my whole person.”
Jose shook his head, his eyes sad. Why did Ben think being overweight made a huge impact on people’s opinion of him? If they thought any less of him as a person just because of that they’re hardly worth knowing in the first place. If only he could see that. Noting the knowing look on Jose’s face Ben took a long gulp of his beer, felt the images of last night regurgitate themselves on his tongue.
“She was going to kiss me, I know she was. But she didn’t, she stopped, why?!” Ben muttered; his voice strained.
His eyebrows rising in shock José gasped in disbelief and puzzlement.
“Who? Francesca?”
“No. The gym receptionist… Lola…”
His face aghast, his eyes wide and staring Jose’s whole demeanour screamed for an explanation.
“Wow… you certainly made an impact on her then hey Ben!” Jose gasped.
“I don’t know… I don’t understand it myself, how it happened, it just did. I keep going over it in my mind and seeing her face inches from mine, her lips even closer and I’m thinking WHY? Why did it happen… but most of all… why didn’t she kiss me?” He trailed off, his voice sad.

Dipping his finger in his beer he traced his finger around the rim, his eyes down set and confused. Jose smiled, reached out for his friend, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder.
“Here it can only be a good thing you two coming so close to kissing. It doesn’t matter that she pulled away; maybe she just felt it was a wrong moment, you were upset and she didn’t want to take advantage. It’s nothing at all to do with you being hideous and her feeling sorry for you.”
His mood lifting with Jose’s words of optimism, Ben smiled and looked away from the beer.
“You know you are so right! I’m going to get out there and make the first move! Just you watch this space, this time tomorrow I’ll no longer be a single man!” Ben crowed triumphantly.

His once relinquished human spirit shining once more he downed his pint and threw back his chair, heading for the door. Jose stared bewilderingly at his friend’s rapidly retreated figure. How on earth had he gone from doom and gloom to ecstatic and happy in ten seconds flat? It didn’t seem human. Realising he was unaware of the new and improved Ben’s intentions Jose grabbed his coat and followed in Ben’s wake.

His eyes sweeping the length of the narrow, tightly packed street Jose found his gaze settling on the large, gaily swaying figure in the distance.
“Hey Ben… Ben wait!!” Jose yelled, projecting his voice in front of him.
Aware of his name being called Ben stopped in his tracks, turned around and squinted curiously at the rapidly approaching Jose.
“Hello my friend.” Ben said happily.
“What may I do you for?”
His overly joyful mood was as mystifying as it was pleasant.
“I was just wondering where you were off to so suddenly… and in such a lovely mood, when ten minutes ago you were on the brink of depression!” Jose said.
Ben winked.
“Ah, yes, well I heard what you were saying and realised you were so right. Why would Lola get so close to kissing me if she didn’t actually want to? Obviously like you said she was scared of making the first move so I thought if I do it then she’s got nothing to fear has she!”
Jose nodded hesitantly.
“Yeah sure but I don’t know, you’re not going to do anything silly now are you?”
Pulling his friend into a huge bear hug Ben pulled back and grinned, an impish look imprinted on his face.
“You know me Jose.”
“Yes only too well and I also know your relationship history. Ben if you and her have any future you don’t want to be going and scaring the poor girl off!” Jose insisted.
“Oh nonsense. She likes me and I’m just going to show her I like her, and I don’t care what you say, I’m going. Ta-ra.”
Furious at Jose’s pathetic attempts at reasoning Ben turned his back and stormed off into the distance. Whilst he had always managed to retain dignity and pride from shattered dreams of love, Fran’s betrayal of the one thing he had ever wanted – family - had really jeopardised any further chances of happiness. But now he had a hope, a tiny shining light in the distance that could soon be dazzling if only he let it. Lola was different, he knew she was and he was going to do everything in his power to show her this. Realising that you can only really learn from your mistakes Jose remained where he stood, hoping with all his being that this time it really wouldn’t be a mistake. He would truly hate trying to salvage the few remaining slivers of Ben’s broken heart…


12. Hope Blooms

Clutching a bouquet of white roses as pure as they were symbolic Ben walked towards the entrance of the leisure centre. He hadn’t quite worked out the mechanics of his plan or how he would approach her but he knew as soon as he stepped inside it would come to him. As natural as a bird in flight... or so he thought. Alone in his thoughts he felt the first flutters of anxiety seeping into his stomach, the overwhelming sensation of panic intensified by his pounding heart. His terror increasing he felt his courage dwindling his body consumed by the ravishing effect of fear. He knew he had to fight this; he couldn’t let being scared of what might happen scare him off romance for life. If he did that he’d end up a lonely old man with ten cats. That version of a future to him was a fate worse then death. Finding a bench he sat down took several deep breaths and slowly regained his self-control.

Calm and placid he felt himself drifting his mind consumed with thoughts of Lola and the feeling of her breath playing off his neck. As he daydreamed his self-conscious revived thoughts of the past, corrupting his sense of mental conviction as it replayed moments of humiliation, embarrassment and pain. The images taunted him, reminded him of just how much a fool he was when it came to love, it was almost telling him to give up, give up or you’ll just inflict pain on yourself over and over again. The voice of his sub-conscious was strong but his heart was stronger. He knew what he wanted and he knew nothing would stop him getting it. If people just gave up after a little knock or break people lives would just be lying in tatters. No fighter gives up on his or her dream, not when it consumes them, gives them their sole reason for living and moving on. Ben was a fighter and he knew what he had to do. Picking up the flowers he smiled and stepped towards the centre, his panic all having disappeared.
“Lola… hi.” Ben grinned nervously, hiding the flowers behind his back.

Glancing up from a pile of paperwork Lola smiled breezily at Ben, her face vacant of any awkwardness. Even in the gaudy fluorescent lights her skin remained a creamy honey colour, seemingly devoid of any post-adolescent spots or scars. Her deep blue eyes set against a background of gold eye shadow had the magnitude of an ocean, its depths unending and soul immortal.
“Hi, how can I help you?” she said smoothly.
Stepping up to the counter Ben whisked the flowers out in front of him.
“For you!” he grinned, his gaze as delightful as a puppy.
Her eyes flitted anxiously; she barely glanced at the flowers. Then in almost a favour to him she gazed at the flowers for a few seconds, her smile sad. The smile was hardly readable though and could easily be read as a frown. She’d planned it that way.
“Thank you Ben but why are you bringing me flowers?” she muttered, her voice questionable.
Inside him something dropped. His heart felt heavy like someone had just chained it to an anchor and threw it deep into a bottomless ocean. Her face was composed, cool, her mouth set in a dubious frown. It was like she didn’t even recognise him, that what happened last night didn’t happen at all, like he’d dreamed it all, right down to the last little detail – the near kiss.
“But… last night. What happened there, we almost…”
“Almost what Ben?” she murmured, cutting in.
Set in a questionable expression her face dared him to say it, dare to admit to a near kiss that would almost certainly be denied by the other party concerned. Bewildered by the sudden turn of events Ben felt his gaze drift to her eyes, tried to search them frantically for an answer. He saw nothing, nothing but his own sorry reflection.
“Nothing. I guess. You’ve said everything you needed to say.” Ben said sadly.
Turning away from the desk he limped dejectedly towards the exit, throwing the beautiful, pure white roses in the bin. As that lost stare fell resignedly towards his feet Lola felt the worst person on the planet. How could she have done that to him when she knew perfectly well what had gone on last night, how near they had come to kissing. It felt so right then, it really did but she couldn’t have gone ahead with it because she had a reputation to uphold. That was the sorriest bit of truth that she had to admit to herself that her reputation meant far more to her then happiness, the chance of love. The only two bits who ever came close to kissing her were just that – two bits – with little personality and model looks to match. They never made her laugh, didn’t even really do it for her in the bedroom but the point was they looked the part and in this image conscious society that was the only thing that counts. Glancing around the empty foyer she felt her eyes settle on the bin, the roses sticking out awkwardly - a pitiful end for such pretty flowers. Feeling she owed it to him to at least preserve the amount of money he’d spent on those things she walked over, pulled them out of the bin and found a vase. Settling the flowers on the counter she went back to work, her mind dwelling on last nights events one time too many.


13. Pack up your troubles…

Walking slowly back to the café Ben felt dead inside. His self-conscious had warned him and he hadn’t taken the slightest bit of notice. Now he was the sorry wreck it had warned him he’d be. The humiliation he felt was beyond words, beyond emotion, beyond expression. At this moment he felt a bottle of scotch and a loaded gun would be the perfect end to his misery. Deep down though he knew he couldn’t do it, how could he leave Barney an orphan, left to wallow alone in dirty, unchanged water? The poor little fish would be heartbroken, wondering incessantly why his owner had just left him to die. He also owed it to his friends, Jose had warned him after all and finding him sitting rigidly on a chair with his skull blown away would kill him. Even if he meant nothing to women he meant a hell of a lot to this community and he’d be damned if he was going to give up his place just yet. The scotch still sounded good though. Dragging his feet behind him he eventually made it home, heading instantly for the backdoor, his mind screaming for silence. Crawling onto his bed he lay flat on his back determined not to cry, not to sleep, not to think. Crying would mean sadness, and sleeping would mean dreams – dreams of a girl he could not have. Thinking meant existing and that was the worst possible thing he could think of doing right now. Hoping to fall into meditation with his eyes closed he lay back, his determination pushing his darkly thoughts out of his mind. Inevitably as soon as his head hit the pillow he fell unconscious, drifting in and out of a dream like state, his dreams haunted by visions of his future.

The smell hit you first, so stale and musty it reminded you of a mixture between a museum and a back street alley. Unforgettable connotations of urine and body odour flooded your mind as you walked the length of a narrow hallway flanked by framed photos of cats. Unaware of just what you were going to find in the front room you pulled your white suit nearer, desperate for any bugs roaming in this flat to stay just where they were. The air felt cold, like the heating had been off for a very long time, longer then weeks, months even. Bracing yourself for the unknown you initiate the holy sign the Son of God died on, miming the path of a cross. If god couldn’t protect you here, no one could. Opening the door you step into a room of horrors. Flat on his back a morbidly obese old man lay on a soiled, bright yellow sofa, several holes clearly visible in the underside of the fabric. Beneath a sea of dirty belongings and mewing cats, lay a bare wood floor, stained from years of use as a litter tray for the animals. The room stunk, in the truest sense of the word; it was a smell that would remain with you for years to come, a mixture of death and excretions. Gagging on the bitter inhalations you walk towards the man see he is holding a notepad in his limp fist. He couldn’t have been dead long, a few days at the most but decomposition was already settling in, the skin on his face rigid and taut. Shuddering you pull the notebook out of his hand, glancing at the last entry on the page:

Dear salvation,

Life never really became what I wanted it to, in all my years I had wished for a family. I never got it… eventually the coffee shop became my family but in the end even that ceased to trade. Starbucks, the flash shop that could offer a customer everything, they stole my heart. It tore me up to see my shop gone like that, boarded and desolate, a bit like me really. Too bad Ben, there are losers in life and you’re one of them. Not once did I quit on life. Not once and still it came back and bit me on the bum! Women were my downfall… cats became my life…

Screaming Ben woke from his drunken haze. The room was dark, the furniture swarmed in a torrent of darkness that he feared his dream still lingered in. Blinking he struggled to focus, his vision was blurry, his heart still racing from his glimpse into an unimaginable future. It had seemed so real like he really was the dead guy in a seedy, downtown dung hole.

Feeling his stomach lurch Ben jumped to his feet, the alcohol had finally taken effect. Stumbling out of the bathroom he sat down reached for the bedside phone and dialled Jose’s number. Several rings occurred before José reached for the phone, his mind worrying who would want to call at this ungodly hour.
“Hello?” he said sleepily.
“Joseeeee.” Ben slurred.
Jose blinked worriedly, it wasn’t often Ben was drunk as a skunk, what was up with him?
“Ben, are you okay? What are you calling for?” José asked gently.
“Well to be perfectly honestst I am feeling a little bit out of sorrtss right now. I made a complete fool out of mashelf earlier, you were right yet again José. Mr I know evreything.” Ben said miserably.
“What did you do Ben, what happened?”
“Welslh she threw it in my face, everything, it didn’t mean a thing. Bashically she thinks I’m a fat piece of work, she didn’t even admit to it happening… gods am I really that bad!” he said sadly.
Jose felt anger rising inside of him.
“She denied it because of what you look like? Is that what you’re saying Ben?”
Ben laughed.
“Yesh that is what’s I’m saying stoopid. I even bought her nice white roses, cosht a bomb they did and she wouldn’t even look at them… it hurt José, it really hurt. So soon after Fraschecia I get knocked down again.. I really thought it had meant something Joshe, it looked that way… but then I’m just fat aren’t I. That’s all I’ll ever be.”
Jose had feared this would happen but even so it wasn’t right, it was downright wrong. That Lola may be pretty but she definitely had no heart. To diminish such a heartfelt gesture with such despicable actions made him question the very existence of human nature. What right did she have?
“Ben I’m sorry. I really am, all I can say is I hope she sees what a mistake she’s made.” Jose muttered.
“Yesh, don’t we all, never minds Joshe, never minds, plenty more sharks in the sea. Haha! Anyways I best let you sleeppp goodnight joshe.”
“Night Ben.”
With that both receivers went down with a soft click.


14. Sunlight and sunshine

Nature can sometimes be so serene it’s breathtaking; that evening it certainly was. Gazing longingly through the café’s window Ben watched the sky transform as easily as a painter would stroke his brush. Encircled against a soft background of deep orange hues and pastel pinks lay the setting sun, its supreme orange glow still dominating the skyline. Sighing he brushed his hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes. It had been a long day, both hung over and tired from last night’s shenanigans he had hardly wanted to get out of bed, but he had to. He had a job to do, a café to run. Just because his love life was a mess it didn’t mean he could just let his customers down.

So on a day where he wished he could just pull the covers over his head and hibernate he plastered on a smile and opened up for the morning rush. In a way it took his mind off things, he still liked Lola, but he knew if she wasn’t interested, she wasn’t interested, there was no way he would be made a fool of twice. Giving the counter one last wipe down Ben glanced at José, sitting at one of the bar nooks, nursing a cup of extra strong cappuccino.
“Hey José fancy the gym?”
José who’d just taken a big gulp of his drunk felt his throat tighten, the hot liquid scorching his throat as he choked in shock. Did Ben really want to go back to the gym so soon after everything that happened? If he did then he’s even more of a man then he already believed him to be.
“Are you sure Ben? After everything…”
“That happened? Don’t worry about it José I’m okay, I mean I’m not over it completely but I’m just going to get on with life and see what falls into my lap, best way to go about it!” Ben grinned.
His unease settling José returned the smile. Ben was a trooper, he really was, he took his knocks but unlike some he didn’t break he bounced. Turning the open sign to closed Ben shut the blinds, watched as the quickly descending shutters replaced the twilight scene. Closing his eyes his mind flashed, his memory intent in capturing a glimpse of the wreck he was last night. That night he was at his lowest and he was determined never to stoop to such lows ever again. Pulling on his coat he checked he had his wallet, opened the door and stepped onto the threshold waiting patiently for Jose to follow.

As he approached the gym’s entrance Ben could feel his heart hammering in his chest. His mind was spinning, the humiliation of last night battering his determination to get on with life. He knew he had to get back into his fitness routine; he couldn’t let a silly misunderstanding ruin his good intentions. It would still hurt though, seeing the girl who misled him every time he went to the gym.
“Jose, when we get in there would you sign me in? I really don’t think I can face it. I’d really appreciate it.” Ben started.
Jose stopped, smiling he held out his hand.
“Hand it over then and we can get on those bikes faster then you can say germonio.” Jose laughed.
Pulling out his wallet Ben thumbed the membership card and gently placed it in his friend’s palm.
“Take care of it.”
“Oh I will, don’t worry about that.” Jose replied.
Relieved that he didn’t have to go through the awkwardness of meeting with Lola so soon Ben felt glad to have such a decent friend. Reaching the lobby the pair went in opposite directions, José heading towards reception with Ben strolling towards the changing rooms, his head down and his pace fast. Incensed by how Lola had treated his friend Jose could feel aggravation building up inside, it showed on his face, in the way he moved, it could control him if he let it. But he didn’t. He wasn’t here to make a scene, after all what happened was a private matter, he didn’t want the world to know what evil roamed the streets.

Tucked away in the corner of reception Lola sat at a computer, absentmindedly tapping various data into a computer programme. She didn’t notice she had company; her mind obviously consumed on far more important issues then her work.
“If you’ve got a minute.” He muttered loudly.
Casting her gaze from the computer she saw José waiting impatiently on the other side of the counter. Just seeing him made her nervous, wherever José went Ben usually followed. She knew what she had said the other day was so wrong and she felt awful for it. Faking a smile she moved towards the counter, her fingers nervously twisting a ringlet of hair.
“Hi Jose, how can I help?” she asked.
“By having a heart for a start.” He said slowly.
She grimaced. It was obvious he was going to give her a hard time from the moment she clocked eyes on him.
“Look I’m sorry yeah, I didn’t realise I’d led him on like that.” She started.
“Is that your attempt at a apology? If so it’s pathetic and I’m not the one you should be saying it to for a start!! Just because you’re pretty doesn’t mean you have the right to destroy someone’s spirit like that, you don’t know how much heartache he’s been through.” Jose shouted.

Lola could feel the hot hears pricking her eyes, her throat constricted by the lump she tried so hard to swallow. She’d bitten her lip so hard she could taste blood. She knew Ben was a decent guy it was just hard to see past what everyone else saw sometimes. She was only human after all, she judged people on how they looked, how they acted; the image they put across. When she looked at Ben she saw through the fat, saw the beautiful person inside, so why should it matter what people thought he looked like. Beauty was superficial, looks fade but the personality remains forever.
“Okay, I accept you had to get that off your chest. Where is Ben I’d like to make a personal apology.” She mustered.

Jose could see she was on the verge of tears; maybe she wasn’t as much of an ice queen as he thought. He couldn’t put his finger on it but he felt he hadn’t got the whole story, that somehow, she was holding back on her feelings. It seemed clear to him that the tenderness evoked from Lola the night Ben broke down in the gym was genuine. Her struggle to maintain glamorous and respected conflicted with her true longing to just live as her heart desired.
“He went to change… he’s probably halfway to Timbuktu by now with all the cycling he’s doing.” He laughed.
Lola smiled lightly, her face relieved. It was as if the intensity of the last few minutes had simply been a figment of her imagination. She looked over at the computer, noting the flashing document she had yet to finish. The gym’s annual report was due in just two hours but there were more important things in life then a few documents.
“I think it’s about time I apologised… will you look after the front desk for me I won’t be too long.” She asked.
She stared at him expectantly her eyes full of hope, he hesitated; his posture slumped. He wanted his friend do be happy more then anything but could he take another knock from the girl who broke his heart?
“Please José I’m not going to say anything bad I just want to talk to him!”
Deep down he knew a kind word from her would make his day. Smiling he headed towards the entry door to reception.
“Sign me up.” He grinned.
She laughed then headed down the hall, her heart hammering in anticipation.


15. A moment in the sauna

The smell hit him before he even reached the changing room, an odour thick with the smell of sweat and cheesy feet. It was hardly the most pleasant part of going to the gym; in fact it was almost enough to make him run out the other way. Wrinkling his nose he plonked his gym bag on the bench, scanning the room for the best place to get changed. He hated his body so much he hated anyone seeing it, even if they didn’t pay any notice. A few guys were over the far side of the room, spraying deodorant onto their freshly showered bodies. Sneakily Ben looked over, squinting his eyes. As he stared his target stretched, his arms splayed showing the muscular physique of his body. What he’d do to have a body like that! Ben thought sadly, eyeing up the several spare tires padding his t-shirt. Turning his back to the stud and the three other well built guys Ben sifted through the bag looking for his Lycra. Putting his bag in the locker he headed towards the gym. As he walked down the brightly lit corridor he spotted the door to the sauna. He’d read somewhere once that the more you sweat, the more fat you burn off. He stood there glancing from the sauna door to the gymnasium; which was the wiser choice? He certainly wouldn’t have to do as much work in the sauna; heck it was probably no different to touching up your tan on a hot, sandy, Spanish beach.

A loud chorus of raucous laughter hit his ears as he headed for his locker. The room was filled with a bunch of cocky university students, their faces fresh and handsome. Pulling his bag out of his locker he headed for the bench. Embarrassment sank through him as he self-consciously undressed only too aware of the stares of the students. He had his back to them, ashamed of what they would say; hell, even think if they saw how he looked from the front.

Dropping his pants he went to pick up his towel when it fell onto the floor. He stared in horror at the towel, his only salvation from inquisitive, prying eyes. Glancing anxiously at the students he quickly bent down to pick it up, his heart racing wildly
“Cor you’ve got a better pair of boobs then my missus! She’d be well jealous!” one bloke laughed.
Ben felt his face seer from the heat of humiliation, the jibes pushing him towards tears. Gritting his teeth he thrust the towel over his body, angry at the cheek they had to ridicule him.
“Takes one to know one huh.” Ben growled as he stormed out.
“Hey son the Marine Wildlife conservation society were looking for you, they’re missing one of their whales!”
The humourless joke drew guffaws from the group of defiantly foolish students. Ben refused to let it get to him, they’d be fat one day; they were students after all. The thought drawing a smile to his face he laughed and pushed open the door to the sauna.

The heat hit him heavily in the face, the steam engulfing every little part of him. It reminded him of the sticky, humid days of midsummer, where the air was so sticky the sweat ran down. Drawing a hand to his forehead he wiped the perspiration with a clammy hand, taking a seat on the wooden bench. There was only one other person in the sauna, a beautiful petite redhead whose blue eyes were so bright it reminded him of a sapphire.

Her china doll complexion and pale skin contrasted largely with her scarlet red bikini, its sheer colour immediately drawing your eyes to her chest. Ben gasped and quickly looked away, embarrassed at the stare he gave the girl. She was probably the second most beautiful girl he had seen in such a short space of time.
“Hi.” She smiled.
Ben looked around to see whom she was talking to even though he knew there was no one else in the sauna.
“You, I’m talking to you. How are you?”
“Erm… I’m uh-okay thanks. What about you?”
She laughed and stared at him warmly. He couldn’t believe what a fool he was being, it was like his tongue had dissolved leaving him unable to string sentences together.
“You come here much?” she said.
“No… well yes I do sometimes but, lately I haven’t… I just haven’t been able bring myself.”
She looked at him curiously as if wanting him to go on.
“May I ask why you haven’t been able to come here?”
Ben looked down unsure whether he wanted to reveal details that close to his heart. His eyes fixed on the door, his gaze blurring in the hot steam.
“I liked someone here, someone who I’d pretty much see every time I set foot in this place! But even though she didn’t like me back I had to show her I wasn’t afraid! I wasn’t afraid of facing her, all I had done was care…”
The girl let out a whistle, her face etched in sympathy. Ben looked over saw the pity then shook his head in disagreement.
“No don’t pity me, that’s not what I want… everyone has times in their lives when they like people who don’t like them back it just part of growing up and growing as a person… I just get it a lot more then most people that’s all.”
She smiled.
“Why are you opening your heart to me?” she questioned softly.
He stopped for a minute, his mind consumed in thought.
“You know that’s a good point… I just know you won’t tell.” He laughed.
“My lips are sealed.” She said quietly, a wink in her eyes.

Suddenly it felt like the atmosphere had changed, there was something crackling in the air; it felt to Ben like tension. Sweat dripped off his brow, as the temperature seemed to soar, leaving him hot and eager for something to happen. The girl sat there provocatively, her leg splayed out in front of her. Ben’s eyes followed the path of her leg, absorbing every mesmerizing detail, imagining her pleasure as his lips kissed her calf. Suddenly she stood up, the quick movement shattering Ben’s daydream and bringing him back to reality.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, his face concerned.
Had she noticed him staring at her?
“No I’m just going to get something, I won’t be long.”
She smiled and then walked towards the door, her body sashaying naturally like the trees.

Ben watched her go his heart hammering in anticipation. Not long ago he had wondered if there was really any point coming back to the gym, not when he had to see Lola every time he stepped foot in there. But there was something pushing him, some invisible force that was the reason for his return. Was fate finally pushing his buttons? Or maybe cupid had woken up from the 20-year coma that he’d fallen into the moment Ben hit puberty. Whatever it was it certainly made him feel better; fancy that a beautiful auburn beauty talking to him, making him feel like one of the most handsome men on the planet.

His mind raced forward ten years, spilling out images of a couple at the altar, a beautiful white sandy beach and turquoise sea, two small children running in the surf closely followed by their happy mum and dad. Basking in the glorious images he slipped his towel loose letting it fall onto the floor. He had felt that tension earlier; it was so intense it sent shivers down his spine. If he felt it surely she had too. He knew where the heights of passion could take you and an empty sauna was as adventurous as they came. Writhing in pleasure, their backs arched against the hard, clammy marble wall, the heat soaring from more then just the coals.

Waiting anxiously Ben threw the bucket of water on the coals, wanting the thick steam to hide him like a gift-wrapped present. When the steam cleared she would have the surprise of a lifetime. As soon as he put the bucket on the floor the door opened, a figure moving through the white cloud towards where he was sitting. Ben held his breath, his body shaking in excitement as she clambered up beside him.

The air was still so misty he couldn’t make her out, but a snatch of red confirmed it was the auburn beauty. Sucking in his stomach as much as he could master he shifted his weight towards her, sliding his body easily across the bench. She looked at him but didn’t move away or even utter a word. Slipping his hand into hers he quickly placed it in his lap.
“Ohh you are keen!” a woman with a German accent said.

Startled Ben shot back his face aghast. As the room eventually became clear he could make out a figure of a tall, dumpy woman. She was about fifty years old with a brown greying bob. With tight skin and few wrinkles she looked a lot younger then she actually was, clearly she looked after herself. She smiled leeringly at Ben; her jowls making her look creepy and unfriendly.
“Did you want a favour my lovely? I’m very good at them you know and well you did give yourself to me so quickly.” She smiled.
“No…n…o. I’m done now thanks, it was a mistaken identity. Sorry if I offended you. I’ve got to go!” he stuttered, grabbing his towel.
His face burning in humiliation Ben staggered to the door his head held low.
“Ohh darling, come back! We’d have such fun together!”
“No chance.” Ben whispered under his breath.
Yanking open the door Ben took the long walk of shame towards the changing rooms.


16. Sorry

Her heart racing in anticipation Lola ran through her words in her head. What on earth could she possibly say to make him forgive her? She knew now she felt something for him and she couldn’t hide it anymore… but what if it was too late. But if she didn’t find out she’d live forever not knowing and that wasn’t worth thinking about. The steam emerged like a shroud camouflaging Lola as she stepped into the sauna. She blinked quickly, her face now moist with sweat. Wiping her brow and her eyes she glanced around her, quickly scanning the room for Ben hiding in a corner. Apart from a frumpy German lady sprawled on the bench the room was empty, had Jose lied about Ben being in here? She wouldn’t put it past him.
“Wha’ you looking for lady?” the German woman piped up.
“Oh… just a guy. I was told he’d be in here… But don’t worry it’s not important.” Lola sighed.
She started to walk away when the women coughed loudly.
“Big boy was he?!”
“Quite big… why’s that? Was he in here after all?”
The woman’s bushy eyebrow rose, her forehead wrinkling. She laughed a hearty, deep cackle.
“Well he was here.. He was keen for me to feel his crown jewels. Very keen indeed.”
Confusion etched across Lola’s face.
“What are you talking about?” she muttered.
“Well he waited till I came in shuffled over and plunged my hand in his crotch! My he was a big boy in more ways then one!” she giggled.
Lola’s face flooded with disbelief, her large blue eyes wide with doubt. If what the woman was saying was true then she had a duty to report it. But Ben was no pervert; she couldn’t do it, even if it meant losing her job.
“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that…” Lola whispered, slowly backing away.
The German lady giggled suddenly twisting her torso on the bench. She turned to face Lola, her head resting on her hand. As the woman stared Lola felt mesmerised by the eerie expression imprinted on the woman’s face. It seemed so alluring, like a look she had practised for many, many years. She couldn’t put her finger on it but the expression reminded her of looks from films, candid films… porn films. Jesus, she was a porn star!
“Did you like the look darling? I practise it on everyone, works like a dream. It’s done me good in this business, started out as a streetwalker, and worked my way up to porn star. Not classy I know but well one has to earn ones richness somehow!” the lady laughed.

Lola smiled weakly, her mind racing. What was a porn star doing in a gym? It wasn’t exactly the right sort of venue for her type of business – unless – someone had poked his or her nose in along the way.
“What made you come to the gym today?” Lola asked.
“Oh some young boy phoned me up, he found my number in yellow pages. He said he knew I specialised in porn films but would I be willing to come and sit in the sauna for fifty quid. Well I only live down the road and it was easy money so why not!”
Lola nodded.
“Do you know who they are? Are they in the gym now?”
“Oh I think so, I met them out in the hall, got my money. There was about 6 of them, all students standing with this really pretty girl. Must have been one of their girlfriends. Any guy would fall in love with her.”
Lola felt the realisation shoot through her eyes, projecting intense feelings of pity and compassion for Ben. Even if he didn’t see it she could, yet again he was another pawn in someone’s game. How could anyone play a trick so cruel? She vowed he’d never find out.
“Thank you for letting me know.” Lola said quietly, her voice sober.
“Anytime, business’s business you know, can’t refuse it cos I don’t like the ethics of the job.”
“No, in your line of work ethics hardly comes into it!” Lola snapped, walking out.
“Oi there was no need for that!” the German shrill echoed as the door slammed shut.

The reception was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. Jose sighed, stretching his arms out in front of him, clicking each finger in turn. Loading up Msn Messenger he soon became engaged in banal chatter. The sound of high heels entered his subconscious, detracting his attention from the computer. He glanced up saw Lola heading toward the desk, her face flushed, her eyes narrowed.
“You alright Lola? Did you find Ben?”
“No not really. I found some German bint who claimed Ben shoved her hand in his crotch. I can believe it as well, some lads put her up to it.”
Jose couldn’t believe it. The hilarity of the situation hit him immediately, his lips twitching as the giggles threatened to strike.
“Seriously? That’s quite funny…”
Lola glared at him, her eyes full of contempt.
“But it’s not a very nice thing to do… do you know where he went?”
“No the lady said he just walked out of the sauna, she didn’t know where he went.”
“So she didn’t follow him then?”
“I’ll give you ten seconds to get out of my sight…” Lola started, a note of frustration in her voice.
Jose looked at the screen; five chat windows were flashing red, if he went he would miss all the juicy gossip his friends had to offer. Looking at Lola he pointed at the screen, his sweetest smile plastered on his lips. She looked at the screen, her patience wavering as soon as she saw the chat programme. Not only was he chatting on a banned programme but he’d closed several of her word documents!
“Five, four, three…”
“Okay, okay I’m going. That’s the last time I do you a favour hey.” Jose sighed.
Rolling his eyes he grabbed his coat and headed for the exit.
“By the way…”
“Just go…” Lola interrupted.
“Okay fine, just tell Ben where I am if you see him! Laters!” his voice trailed off as he left the building.

Sighing heavily Lola sank into her chair; it was still warm from Jose’s recent occupation. She stretched, pulling her long limbs high above her head, trying to get some energy back into her bones. Weary and irritable she just wanted to go home to her warm, comfortable bed. Her mind drifted off languishing in the memory of her pretty lilac bedroom with her king sized dream easy bed. It had a massive duvet with two pillows on each side and she didn’t have to share it with anyone. Result! Screwing her eyes shut she tried to wipe away the sleepiness, the palms of her hand drawing residues of her once fresh eye shadow. Blinking sleepily she glanced in front of her, saw the large shape sneaking towards the exit.
“Hey, hey Ben, were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?”
He turned round slowly, his face sheepish.
“Oh err.. Well hi Lola, you looked a bit zonked, I didn’t want to disturb you.”
“Aww how sweet, come on how was the sauna?”
His eyes sank to the floor; if he looked at her she might be able to detect his embarrassment.
“How did you know I was in there?”
“Oh… Erm José told me, I went looking for you but you’d gone so I came back here.”
His eyebrows rose in surprise, a brief smile on his lips.
“You came looking for me? Why?”
She giggled, her face coy and her eyes alluring.
“I wanted to ask you something.”
“Go on don’t keep me in suspense.”
“Will you go on a date with me? Please?”
Ben stared at her in shock, his mouth threatening to catch flies.

The words swam boldly before his eyes but he couldn’t seem to understand a word of them. All he could think was the girl of his dreams had asked the question that would make him feel like a King.
Lola stood there quietly, her face expectant in anticipation of his answer.

He looked up his gaze catching hers; her blue eyes were so pretty he could spend every minute of the day just envisioning the sea. She was his dream, his happy ending.
“I’m sorry but I can’t go on a date with you.” He said softly.
Her eyes instantly deepened, an emotion of sheer disbelief exploding within her irises. Their eyes locked and he was unable to look away as a shimmer of tears swept across her eyes. She didn’t bother to wipe it way, she wanted it to show, to show him how she felt.
“Why? I thought it was what you wanted?” she managed, her voice cracking.
“More then anything in the world.”
And with that he fled, unable to take another moment staring at her devastated face.

Lola watched him go, the feeling inside of her chest threatening to strangle her. She could barely swallow as a huge lump of emotion jammed itself in her windpipe. Struggling to understand her mind throbbed as she went over the memories of the past few days. If he had wanted her so much why on earth had he refused to date her? Even more confusing was his claim that a date with her was what he wanted more then anything in the world. Nausea swirled in her stomach as images of his refusal played before her eyes. It turned out he had meant something to her after all, and she couldn’t let this go. Not without a fight. She had to make him see they were perfect for each other, whatever it took…


17. Time to escape

Partly hidden by clouds the full moon seemed beautiful and omnipotent as its rays lit up the path like the golden steps towards heaven. Ben walked slowly towards the park, his feet dragging heavily behind him. He felt like a man condemned, like a deep depression had hit and engulfed him in its poisonous odour. Staring at the ground his eyes locked on the bright rays of light leading his way, it seemed strange, almost like a message from God.

Pausing he looked up to the sky, his gaze falling on a blanket of darkness impregnated with diamond like stars. Every night as a boy his mum had read to him and told him to look upon the moon to keep him safe. He had no idea why but now when he thought about it he could see the serenity that came from its milky luminosity, the only refuge from the bleakness of the night.

Pulling his gaze away he walked on towards the park, not knowing where he was going or what for. The park was a small affair, with only one set of swings, a slide and a roundabout. Long defaced by graffiti the park looked ghostly and eerie in the moonlight, the characteristic scrawls of the artists glaring like ghouls caught out with a torch. He sat on the swing his eyes staring off into the horizon. Beyond him was a large green field, fenced by hundreds of oak and elm trees, their leafy branches stretching far into the sky.

As he swung his mind fell blank, memories of a miserable past swamping over him. He thought life could be so easy, with his easygoing personality that he would soon be a Mr right to his Mrs. Only it had never happened, every date was a disaster or he’d been taking for a fool. He used to be able to look back and laugh, till now… Lola was everything he could have asked for but he couldn’t let her settle for second best. If she did, one day she would look back and wonder how feeling sorry for someone could turn into marriage. He knew deep down that he was at his lowest point, that his lack of self-esteem and bad luck had sent him tumbling towards the hole in the crevice. He didn’t know how much longer he could hold on.

Gazing around him he realised his eyes were wet; the small tears rolling down his face. He stepped to his feet, heading for the park gates, walking blindly, the tears blinding his vision. Wiping his eyes he looked around him, he was in a clearing, the path on his right leading towards the main road, the left snaking deeper into the woods. He didn’t feel like going home yet, maybe taking a stroll down a path on a moonlit night would be just what he needs to clear his head.

Twigs cracked under his feet as he manoeuvred himself through the undergrowth, stumbling through the close-set trees to find the well-trodden path. Small drops of rain fell lightly through the sky, peppering Ben’s face and body with a light dampness. The air smelt heavy and he could sense heavy rain was on the way. A shrill wind whistled through the wood, blowing the smaller trees with a large ferocity. As soon as the wind picked up the rain increased, the small drops becoming increasingly fat and heavy, falling out of the sky like large grey pellets. He walked on a bit further, his pace increasing as he dodged from tree to tree trying to find some sort of shelter. Sinking down next to a large, dominant oak he sat for a second contemplating what he would do with his life. He’d already lived a quarter of his lifespan, what could he possibly do with the rest of it? Emigrate maybe?

Standing up he put his hands absent-mindly on the trees bark, felt the rough texture of an old rope swing. As soon as his fingers touched the wood a dark thought crept through his mind, growing stronger and more appealing as the minutes crept by. With wet eyes he stared at the rope, it looked strong, sturdy, with a huge knot tied on the end. He closed his eyes and for a minute he was ten again, running around with his friends, lighting campfires and making swings without a care in the world… there was even a chance this could be the swing he made all those years ago. Maybe it was fate… Without a second thought he grabbed the rope and began climbing the tree. This was his moment.

As a boy climbing trees had been fun but as a sixteen stone chubby man it was sheer torture. He breathed heavily, the sweat pouring off his face. Glancing up the rain fell in his eyes; blinding him briefly as his vision was filled with chasms of light through the sheets of water. He blinked once, twice, the eyelashes thick with moisture dripping down his face. Was this really worth it he thought suddenly? Should he turn back? With a sudden determination he shifted himself up, reaching for the next branch.

A sharp shrill ringing cut into José’s dreams, made him think the pretty girl smiling down at him had suddenly swallowed a phone. Groaning he pulled himself out of his happy dream, picked up the warbling phone.
“Hello?” he groaned.
“Jose… it’s me…” Ben whispered.
“Ben, why are you whispering? Is something wrong?”
“I’m going to do it Ben, it will suit everyone in the long run.”
A cold chill tingled down Jose’s spine. He shuddered, tried to shake the feeling off.
“I hope you’re not doing what I think you’re doing. Where are you!” José said urgently.
“In the park. I just want to say I love you and I love Lola too. Look after her for me.” Ben said, his voice final and calm.
Anxiety flooded through José’s body, his heart pounding heavily in his chest. What was Ben doing?!
“What park Ben? Is it where we used to play as kids? Tell me for gods sake!”
“Goodbye Jose.”
“BEN!”
Silence.
The phone beeped then an automated voice said the caller had gone.
“SHIT!! SHIT!! SHIT!!” Jose shouted, throwing the phone on the bed.

He ran over to his wardrobe, shoved his feet into a pair of jeans and threw a jumper over his head. He might look a state but looks didn’t matter now, he had a friend to save. His heart was in his mouth as he fled his house, jumped in his little Mini Metro and swore while the freezing car sent the cold right through him. Shaking, his heart racing he struggled to fit the keys in the ignition, dropped them twice before he managed to start the car. He didn’t know how long he had, if Ben had already done what he had planned to do. Maybe he could stop him, he just didn’t know and that was the worst thing in the world… not knowing.

His eyes glued to the road, he pressed his foot heavily on the acceleration, driving dangerously fast through the dark, empty streets. As he approached the park all he could see was darkness. He had no idea this was the right park, or even where the hell Ben would be. Parking up he walked steadily through the children’s playground, his eyes examining each part of the park with a steely gaze. As he came to the end of the park he stopped, his eyes falling on the wooded enclosure just ahead.

His mind cast back over the years, remembered the two of them as boys. Running onto the swings, playing on the roundabout, making their very own rope swing. He froze, his breath condensing in front of him. He should have known Ben would go there; go back to the time in his memory where his world was colourful. As he ran the three hundred yards to the place where they’d had so much fun as boys a whole number of scenarios raced through his mind, each one more tormenting and devastating then the first. The reality however was very, very different.

Jose couldn’t quite believe his eyes. Rubbing his eyes he looked again. The image was sobering, and pierced right through him. Ben lay sobbing on the floor, the broken rope still wrapped around his neck. The weight that had tarnished his life had been what saved him from a painful death.
“The rope broke. I can’t even kill myself properly.”
Jose smiled.
“Oh come on Ben, did you really think a 15 year old rope would support a grown mans weight?! You know you don’t use a rope swing with your neck don’t you?”
That knocked Ben for six. His eyes widened in bewilderment.
“What are you talking about? I meant to…”
“No you didn’t. You wouldn’t do that to us, you quite simply forgot how to use a rope swing. Silly twerp.” Jose laughed.
“Well you know I was always one to come up with new ways of doing things.”
“Oh you certainly did that. Come on pick yourself up, you pulled me out of the best dream I’ve had in months and I would really like to get back to it!”

Ben smiled, looked down at his feet. The rain that had saturated his body was coming to a gentle spit. It was like the darkness had gone and sunshine would soon return. He couldn’t understand why Jose couldn’t admit to what Ben had done but maybe it was really for the best. He felt very foolish indeed, José was right; people would be lost without him!

Wiping his eyes Ben pulled himself to his feet wiped his eyes and smiled kindly at José. He always knew his best friend would be there for him in his time of need, and he was right. With a grimace he pulled the remaining part of the rope over his neck, dropping it onto the floor. He looked at it with amazement, amazement at what he had been willing to do just minutes ago. He couldn’t believe one irrational and thoughtless moment could’ve ruined everything. Sighing he turned away.
“So what was the dream about eh?” Ben laughed.
“If I told you I would have to kill you…”
“Maybe another night then.” Ben said lightly.
A smile crossed Jose’s face and he gave Ben a sharp pat on the back. The pair started to walk on, neither of them taking a look back. After all the past is the past.

18. Love Comes Knocking

The next morning Ben woke from a dreamless sleep with a start. For a few seconds his mind lay strangely empty, like someone had sucked every thought and emotion out during the night. Squeezing his eyes shut he rubbed at his temples with his fingers, prodding his head as if trying to get answers.

Slowly but surely his memory slipped into place like pieces in a puzzle. It all started with Lola saying she wanted to go out with him but he knew it was out of pity and he couldn’t let her go through with that. The image of those last heady, fearful moments as he sat in the high branches of the tree swamped him, filled him with disdain. He had been so scared but so ready, ready to end the torment. But the rope had broken and surely that must have meant something. Even old rope doesn’t break if it’s sturdy right?

A loud knocking turned his attention to the door, he wasn’t even dressed; surely they’d come back later? Sighing he sank back onto the pillows, eager to sleep, get rid of all his woes. As he closed his eyes another round of knocking came from the door, he opened one eye then closed it again. After three blissful seconds a mighty chorus of knocks came from the door, they weren’t going to give up till he’d gotten his lard arse out of bed. With a lot of effort he sat up, pulled the covers off and started towards the door.

Wearing only his old, baggy boxer shorts he pulled open the door, yawning as he did so. Stood in front of him was a large cardboard cut out, very much like the one he remembered knocking over at the gym. Unless the cardboard lady had really grown a mind of its own and walked over to demand a reprieve for being knocked over he couldn’t quite understand how it had managed to get here. He looked around the figure, trying to see if anyone was hiding behind it, only to find the hallway was deserted. A cold shiver engulfed his body as it’s reacted to the sudden fear he felt.

Was some one trying to play a trick on him and if so who? Why? Shaking his head he pushed the figure over and went back inside. He had barely sat down on the bed when the knocking came again, quietly at first before becoming incessantly louder. Groaning he stormed up to the door, flinging it open and coming face to face with the cardboard cut out standing back in its original position.
“For pities sake!” he shouted shoving the cutout over.
“Oww careful!” a girls voice said.
The voice was strangely familiar, and it was with a quick realisation that the penny dropped.
“I should’ve known that cut out could only come from you!”
She smiled, her eyes lighting up in a grin that could warm a whole room.
“I kind of hoped you would, you seem kind of angry!” she said lightly.

He looked at her properly for the first time in a couple of days, drinking in her features, her incredible beauty. Every time he looked at her he fell in love.
“Why are you here? After what I said to you yesterday I thought you’d never want to see me again!” Ben whispered, staring down at the floor.
“Look at me…” she said quietly.
“I can’t. I don’t want you to pity me, I know that’s why you said what you did yesterday.”
She shook her head angrily. He didn’t understand, he could never understand!
“No, that isn’t the reason. Look at me for gods sake!” her voice rose in tone, more urgent then before.

Still he gaze remained on the dark pink fuchsia carpet. His gaze was so intent it seemed like his eyes were boring in on the particles, clearing enough to spot a tiny spot of fluff. If he looked at her he’d never be able to look away.
“LOOK AT ME GOD DAMN IT!” she shouted, her hand forcing his chin up so he couldn’t look away.

Her eyes were watery, an emotion of pure agony alive in them. He couldn’t stand to see her look so hurt. Their eyes locked, a feeling of mutual understanding falling over them like a cloud of dust. Leaning forward she kissed him on the lips, lightly at first, then more passionately. Her kiss was such a shock for a moment he was frozen, his heart thumping loudly in his chest. Then like a spell was broken he fell into the kiss, his lips responding to hers, eager to realise how it felt to kiss the girl he loved so much. Pulling away Ben put his hands gently on her shoulders, looked tenderly into her eyes and gave her a soft kiss on the nose.
“So what does this mean?”
“This means you’re taking me out for some brunch. Grab your coat!” she laughed.
A coy grin on her face she stepped past him into his flat, parking herself on one of his cream sofas. Now she really was home.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.03.2010

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