The Sight.

I look into the car’s window. I’m shocked. I stare at them kissing. Neither of them notices me. He looks like he has no care in the world and she looks happy, like the happiest girl on earth. I swallow my tears and go back inside the house. I go to the couch and drop myself in front of it. I try to catch my breath. I can’t let him see me like this. I won’t allow myself to look weak when he comes in. All I want to do is be here on the floor, crumpled but I can’t. I pull myself together and sit straight up on the couch. I look towards the door and wait. Minutes past and nothing happens. I slump into the couch and play around with my ring. A tear escapes, but I wipe it away in haste, not yet, I can’t cry until I know for sure that I will be alone. An hour passes, two hours pass. I stare at the door, in hate, focusing all my emotions in it. I can’t go out to face them together like that. I’m not strong enough for that, I have to do it separately. I hear the porch creak and I know it’s him. I stare at the door, burning a hole in it. The door knob jiggles and I tear my eyes from the door right away. I hear his footsteps as he sets down his jacket and briefcase. “I’m home darling.” He walks towards me and kisses my check. I avoid my gaze from his. “Hey?.... What’s wrong? What’s going on?” I look at him and it’s a mistake. He’s looking at me with so much love and care. How can he do that? How can he just lie to my face like that? He must have a reason for what he’s doing. I drop my eyes, “Nothing, nothing’s wrong. I’m just tired.” He smiles and kisses my forehead, “I think you’re working too hard. Let’s take a day off together and just be at home and order take out together?” I look at his eyes and try to make out his thoughts. “No. I can’t right now, I have a lot that’s going on right now at work.” He smiles in reassurance and just replies, “Don’t worry, I understand, I won’t disturb your work.” He stands up and walks out of the room. I let out my breath and take shaky breathes after. I can’t do this. After we worked so hard in getting this to work out. I can’t let this end here like this.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.09.2013

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