Broken

used to wish I was dead. That may be a terrible thing to say, but my life is nothing but torture. My mother is long gone and my father is useless. Actually I hate just about everything about him. My story is sad, and full of hurt. But I may as well tell you. Maybe it will help me feel better.
Well, I may as well start with me. I was born fourteen short years ago to Lindsay and jacob Williams. They named me, the second daughter they had, Adrianna May Williams. Most of the time I go by Anna when I am in good enough shape to go to school. Currently, I am enrolled in Maple Valley middle school. I am an eighth grader, so I will be a freshman next year, if I live that long. My mom finally had enough of my dad cheating and mistreatment that she left him. That was just four years ago. My dad wasn’t able to concentrate or hold a job. So, like the bum he is, he turned to drinking and smoking. And i’m not talking about cigarettes. Anyway, I have a little brother named Carter who is seven, and I used to have an older sister. Her name was Christina, she was fourteen when she died. A seventeen year old boy lost control of his car in the spring and ended up hitting her while she was walking down the street. That was a year after my mom left, to the day. My dad did not really care, sad right. Father is abusive to say the least, so I’ll start with what happened two weeks ago.
I was sitting at home babysitting like usual. When I heard the car pull in I hide Carter behind the stairs and told him not to come back out, NO MATTER WHAT. Then I went and waited by the door for my dad to burst dramatically through the door like he normally does when he is drunk. When he walked in the door, he was calm. But, I knew he was drinking because of the smell. It made even my stomach turn, and I’m used to the smell. He took a few seconds, then he turned toward me. His calmness scared me. Normally he just lunges at me, but he just motioned for me to come to him. I have already learned that I can’t disobey him without getting myself seriously hurt. “Yes father?” I asked him carefully so that my voice didn’t shake. If my dad hears you’re scared he uses that to his advantage. I stood there patiently waiting, knowing he wasn’t going to answer me. Finally, after what seemed like ages he raised his hand. I didn’t dare flinch because all that spells it more pain. His hand lashed out and connected with my cheek sending a burning sensation through it. I didn’t dare scream even though I wanted to. Then his habits got the best of him. He grabbed me by my arm and threw my toward the wall. The corner of my head bounced off the wall and blood gushed down my face. It hurt worse then anything else I ever felt. I even screamed out even though I shouldn’t have. My dad beat me for about half an hour more, then retreated into his room.
I ran straight to carter. He was cowering but he didn’t move one little bit. I picked him up and carried him into his room. As soon as I set him on his bed he looked at me and said, “Sissy, you’re bleeding from your head.” I smiled and kissed his head.
“Oh, don’t worry about me love, are you okay?” He just stared at me and nodded, smiling oh so slightly. I tucked him in and turned on his nightlight. Then I walked into my bathroom and looked in the mirror. I knew i definitely wasn’t going to school the next day. I cleaned my cuts and put butterfly stitches on my head. Knowing I couldn’t go to sleep yet, I went for a walk. I was gone maybe a half hour. By the time I got home I was very tired. Knowing I had a long day tomorrow, I went to sleep.
When I woke up it was 7:00 in the morning. I got up because I had to get Carter up and around for school. Then I would walk to school with him and sign him in. After Carter was up I went and covered up my bruises and scars. I knew my head couldn’t cover up, so I made up a lie. That I was at a friend’s house and I fell down her concrete stairs. I perfected that lie in just minutes. I may hate my dad but he is a amazing liar. So, in other words, he will get his way out of it. Then he will go so crazy on me that my chances of survival will be slim to none. Finally I was ready and made Carter breakfast. After he ate we walked the mile and a half to the school. I took him in the office and signed him in. Then I headed back home. By the time I got home it was nine o’clock. Dad was already gone, probably to the bar. I took some time to rest and heal. If I had my way, I would be going to school tomorrow. That was the highlight of my day.
At about two o’clock I got a call from the school asking that I get up there immediately. So I got up and walked there in just ten minutes. When I walked into the principal's office I saw what all the fuss was about. Apparently Carter had to draw a picture of his favorite person at their bravest moment. He drew me obviously, but he drew scars and my latest head wound. It had what looked like blood running down my face. Oh no! was the only thing running through my mind. Everyone was there, the principal, the school officer, Carter’s teacher, and Carter.Mrs.Hall, the principal motioned for me to sit down. I followed her instruction, sitting right next to Carter. “ So Carter, can you explain this picture to us one more time?” Mrs.Hall asked Carter.
“Well, that is my sissy Anna. And those are the scars and the head scratch that daddy gives her when he comes home smelling bad. Sissy is so brave she doesn’t even cry!” That was his response.
“Miss williams, what is your response to this?” The school officer said looking at me.
“It’s True, all of it.” My eyes started to tear up. Mrs.Hall and the officer were both making some type of report. Everything was silent, until the reports evened out.
“Miss, I am going to take you and your brother down to the hospital. We need a full body scan and x-ray. Is that okay?” The officer looked at me pending approval. I nodded in response. The hospital thing to two hours to complete. When it was over I was taken to the police station. Carter and I were sitting there together. He was half asleep. A detective motioned for me to come and join her in a room. I lingered around Carter until an officer came and got him. Then I gave in and joined her in the room.
“Okay, Miss. Williams, can I call you adrianna?” I nodded to answer her question. “Well, my name is detective Kiara Duncan, but you can call me Kiara. Alright?” Not being able to talk at the moment, I nodded again. She smiled nicely at me and started to talk again. “ Okay, now that introductions are out of the way, the reports tell me some interesting things. So let’s get down to business.” She paused determining how to word what she was trying to say. “ Did your dad every abuse you physically?” I almost wanted to cry. I nodded my head yes. She smiled at me and continued. “How about sexually.” This question I knew was going to come up. And knowing I couldn’t lie about it, I did the hardest thing I have ever had to do.
“Once,” I said nodding my head. I burst into tears. Kiara grabbed a box of tissues and put them in front of me.
“Here you go hun. I need you to explain what happened though. Okay?” I nodded again. Then I explained how he came home beyond drunk, and raped me. It was only that one time. But it could have happened again anytime.
She nodded smiling. After a hour more of her questions, she let me go. When I was walking back to see my brother I passed my dad. He was sober surprisingly. I didn’t miss the look he gave me, promising if he got away with this, that I would really regret it. I sat next to Carter and held him in my arms.
“Sissy, did I get you in big trouble?” I couldn’t stand that sad little look he gave me.
“No sweetie, you didn’t, you saved me.” He smiled at me when I told him that. Before long the detective came back out.
“Honey we are taking you and your brother from your dad’s custody and putting you guys in your aunts.” I couldn’t believe my ears. I was finally free from the demon in my life. The next day I was in another state in my aunt’s house. She was the closes to a mother that I have ever had, sending me gifts and everything for Christmas. We were close, and I still had my brother. That one day, everything changed. I had perfect grades. Perfect friends. And a perfect boyfriend. My brother drew that picture, and now he is my savior. And for the first time in my life, everything is exactly the way it should be.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.08.2012

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