Be cheerful

 The best lesson that I have learned all through these years is 'Be cheerful.' Every day if I meet cheerful people on the way to my office, it always becomes the best day of the week. The old lady who brings milk sachets to our home every day around 5:45 am is the first cheerful person I meet day to-day. With her cheerful good morning wishes, I start my day positively with good cheer.

 

I always admire people who are always cheerful and move around with a constant smile. Knowingly or unknowingly they bring some positive energy to every one they interact. Whenever I feel low and go into a shell of recluse, I think about these cheerful people. Some of my friends who always looked bubbly and cheerful never complained and they went on with their work even when they faced challenges or problems in their life.

 

Some of the bus conductors I meet in the bus every day, always looked cheerful and beamed with a mark of high spirits and happiness. Working as a conductor in the bus is not an easy job. Peak hours are pressure filled hours and the buses brimmed with crowd. To tackle the crowd and reach the destination without much hassle can rise their blood pressure and make them scream at the irresponsible passengers. Yet, some of these people looked cheerful and vibrant always.

 

I feel so mean and low when I complain sitting in a room with centralized AC and comfortable seats. Thousands of people live a struggled life than I live today. My life is thousand times better than their wretched lives. I remember a lady whom I met while I assisted a team from Australia to shoot a documentary film on people who lived with AIDS. The lady was a widow and tested positive for AIDS. She got the infection from her husband and one of her children also tested positive for AIDS. They lived in a room much smaller than our drawing room. Thatched roof covered the house and I could feel poverty personified in every corner of their house, Yet, she looked cheerful and kept on smiling. It gave me an opportunity to feel grateful and thank God for the comfortable life I lived. Whatever it may be, learn to be cheerful.

 

The security guard at our office who always wishes me good morning with a cheerful smile lives away from his family and works round the clock. Yet, he never complained and spoke to every one with a smile on his face. These people are god send and who constantly remind us that life is here to live and enjoy every second with love.

Healing

 

Healing from getting hurt is a process that everyone must have gone through at least once in their life times.

 

Getting healed from being hurt is a lengthy process that may take seconds, minutes, hours, days or years.  Unfortunately, I had been always the target to get hurt from the days I could remember.  To come out of that state of mind and feel normal again - was a task for me.  But, Writing helped me to heal my wounded heart. Writing down my thoughts in poems or in short passages, helped me to rewind and gather the lost spirit within seconds.

 

It also helped me to forgive and forget the person who deliberately wished to hurt me and see me in tears.  Healing at heart taught me not to have grudges at heart and take things in a lighter spirit.

 

Healing helped me to grow into a matured person with the ability to handle tougher situations at life. It even helped me to smile or avoid things that will hurt me.

 

Some words that helped me to learn more on healing:

 

Healing: “Healing is a spontaneous event that comes about through a kind of grace. It can happen anytime, and in any place. It may or may not happen in the context of a healing session. It may come about simply with a smile from a stranger, the breeze blowing through the trees, the song of a bird — some reminder of our connectedness and wholeness — the beauty of Life just as it is at this moment for us.

 

Healing -different levels

 

“Healing can happen on many different levels.

 

Sometimes our healing is not what we expect. We need to be open to the gifts which life is always ready to give us. It may be that a physical problem heals, but it may also stay awhile to teach us something.

 

Sometimes a health challenge is a doorway to a deeper healing, a cry from deep within for attention to some part of us that has been unloved and feels separated from the Whole.

 

“Regardless of whether our focus in healing is on the physical, mental, emotional or spiritual level, all levels are invariably touched by the process, and none can be separated out from the rest.”

 

 Lesson learned:  Never hurt anyone with your words or deeds, because they will come back to hit you with added force.

Being grateful

 The world is turning more materialistic day by day. Every day in every walk of life, I can see people who are ungrateful and who without shame want to get their things done at the cost of others. Unfortunately, I have met the maximum number of ungrateful people who took granted of my broadmindedness and the willingness to understand their problems. My in-laws were the first set of ungrateful people who took everything granted and cheated us. Now they boast as if they have achieved the best in their life and we were fools who deliberately gave in for their whims and fancies. Yet, I believe, our sacrifices will not go waste. God will reward us in a better way.

 

The next incident happened when I was taking tuition at home. A young boy of eight years who was then studying in third standard came for his tuition. His father was working in Dubai and his mother was staying with her parents along with her children. He will come directly to my home from school. He will have his packed evening food at my home and I will mix and give him the evening drink. He studied till he was in his 9th grade.The boy's father came back from Dubai and took them back there. The boy's mother promised me that she will try to get some teaching position in a school over there. Till now I have not heard anything from her. Without expecting anything from her, I helped her when she desperately needed help. She could not spare not even five minutes to call and talk to me whenever she comes to India.

 

The world is becoming a place not fit for people like me. People, who desperately approach you for some help, never turn again once their work is done. What is this attitude? Is this because of the materialistic world or is this because of the way they were brought up? I could not decide.

 

I remember a story in Mahabharata. Karnan even after knowing that he was the eldest son of Kundi Devi and he was the eldest brother of Dharma and the others, he did not go away from Dhuriyodhana. To show his gratitude to his friend Dhuriyodhana, he stayed with him till he died in the battle of Kurushetra. It will be really a wonder, if I can meet such a person now in this world.

 

I think it will be apt to quote here the words of the famous Tamil Saint, Thiruvalluvar. Thiruvalluvar, in his universally acclaimed Tamil literary work 'Thirukkural' tells something about being ungrateful. He tells that there might be some way to redeem for people who are not thankful. But there is no way to redeem if the people are ungrateful. That will be the worst sin in the world and no one can help them to get out of it.

The virtue-killer may be saved

Not benefit-killer who is damned. (Thirukkural - 110)

Everything happens

Everything happens for your own good!!

 

A phrase that gives solace to your ripped heart when you face unhealthy and unhappy situations at your workplace or at home.  

 

Whatever happens to you is due to your bad and good karma.  The saying may be a silent reminder for you to analyze and find out what went wrong and how you need to act accordingly.

 

It may be easy to tell others who undergo emotional swings and find it hard to accept things as it is.  But, it is true.  Every cloud passes away. Don't take anything into your heart literally for the tough situations make you a tough person to face problems in a positive way.

 

How long will it go?  That's true.   There is always a saturation point to everything.  Nothing should not go beyond that limit.  If it goes beyond the limit, there ends your patience, your hopes and your dreams. 

 

Prayers can help you to be at ease and hope for the best.  Every cloud will have a shining edge.  When your storm cloud passes away, definetely there will be clouds streaked with light that could make you smile.

Go with the flow...

 The ultimate lesson that life has taught me: "Go with the flow".  

 

 Whenever I faced situations that tested my patience and made my heart swell with unknown pressure, I keep on repeating these words - Go with the flow.

 

In a way, it helped me to feel at peace and bring my anxiety level down.   It helped me to handle situation applying my head, instead of taking it to my heart.

 

Getting emotional is always easy.  But to face a situation with a stone like heart is not an easy one.  Yet, it must be the choice of that stressful moment.  It helped me to overcome so many situations that otherwise would have brought my spirits low and make me feel depressed and unhappy.

Keep your mouth shut

The recent experience at the work place made me decide once again, 'keep my mouth shut.' Working among a set of youngsters who belong to Gen Y, made me once again feel 'Hi, you are a baby boomer, keep your mouth shut.'

 

Recession has taken in its toll, the bright prospects of people who are called baby boomers. I don't know if whatever I did was out of my own interest or a mere assumption that they may need my expert opinions to improve their writing skills. Unexpectedly it hit me hard on my face just like a boomerang. Maintain your distance and keep yourself aloof is what they want to tell me. With a heavy heart I decided I will keep my mouth shut.

 

The past experiences have also taught me to keep my mouth shut and open it only if it is much necessary. It is going to be one year here and I have misunderstood everyone around me. They are what they are and the fault lies only with me, I failed to understand my position and have forgotten the thin line that separated me from them. Yes, it is a lesson learned. Keep my mouth shut.

 

Even while we were living as a joint family, people around me always wanted me to keep my mouth shut and carry on with my work. Even if I found something wrong, I must keep my mouth shut. No one wanted me to question and enquire why it happened so. Is there any fault in the way I tell things or do they don't want me to share my questions? Anyway I learned my lesson to keep my mouth shut and open only to eat.

Don't exploit others

 One of the lessons that I have learned after being exploited for many years is never to exploit others. Some people may tell that I will get exploited only if I allow that to happen. But no one can deny the fact that when circumstances decide your fate, exploitation will be the first one to catch the veins. After missing some wonderful opportunities much against my wish, my agony of getting exploited started when I started to work as a kindergarten teacher in a primary school.

 

For a meager income I accepted to work with a valid reason that I don't want to let my family go hungry even without a single meal. With so many dreams and self acclaimed skills, I learned to stoop my level down, so that our hunger will be conquered. Exploitation has been right there in my life for more than 25 years. Though I know clearly that I am being exploited, when people take me granted and make me slog, I could not tell 'no'. The reason is I don't want to let my family go hungry.

 

Whatever it may be, I have decided not to exploit anyone for my sake. I don't talk about lucky ones who get a well paid job and enjoy life. I want to talk about people who slog like slaves for pennies to get their stomachs filled. In Chennai, I can see so many people employed for a few thousand rupees and work with their half filled stomachs. We could not blame them for their sufferings. People suffer due to choice and not because of chance. I read this quote somewhere.

 

When choice becomes the ultimate thing to decide, every one succumbs to the heavy strings of fate. My humble request to every one is 'Never exploit others for your sake.' The tears of the exploited people are strong. People who exploit others will have their turn one day. Something will happen to make them realize how painful it is to get exploited.

Good At All Levels

Now also I remember those words my mother kept on repeating:

 

Good thoughts, Good action, Good people

 

These are the three things we must always wish to have with us.

 

It is always a blessing to live with good people, who have good thoughts and who always shun bad and do only good to others.

 

Whatever challenges you face in your life, good deeds, good thoughts and good people always come to your rescue.

 

The vibrant positive energy will always be there around you and help you to be good at any circumstance in your life.

 

I remember the comment once I received from an elderly person: "Too good to believe"

 

In this materialistic world when people wish to have a comfortable life at all levels what I tell may sound weird. But my experience has taught me always wish good and that will invite good things to you.

 

Lesson learned: Be good always to bring in good tidings at your side.

Be thick skinned

 

 

All through this life, I have been a sensitive person. I could not resist reacting at once to whatever that I felt is not right. The three years I worked at South India AIDS Action Programme gave me a chance to come out of this. I got the opportunity to attend many counseling workshops and interact with people who faced much stress in life. Numerous sessions that discussed so many sensitive issues made me insensitive to petty things in life. I realized life is to live and it is not worth to have grudges at heart. In short, learn to be thick skinned. In detail, learn to ignore things that will stand in your way of improvement.

 

I am now at ease and could face easily a situation that could test my nerves. At the same time, my mind silently works behind and thinks how to handle such a situation in a better way and come out successful. It is not easy to practice, but I tried my level best and have succeeded in it.

 

Now a days every office conducts communication sessions to strengthen the relationship between the employees and the management. In a corporate environment, stress fills every divided bay. Targets take the priority and the human beings are treated as machines with life. At first this situation looked overwhelming and scary to me. Yet, I found a way out. I planned and scheduled my work and this helped me to finish everything on time.

 

Earlier, when we moved out of the joint family, we were at loss. People at home cheated us and turned ungrateful. Loosing everything, except my education and knowledge at hand, we walked out of them. Initially, it was so painful to forget everything and lead a normal life. Once a friend asked me to forgive them and start our life afresh. That was an eye opener. From that day onwards I started to lead a new life.

 

Even if I meet them now on my way to the office or else where, I could walk with my chin upright and ignore their stares. Whatever I did was my responsibility as the eldest one and still God is there to guide me in a better way. I am here to live my life and I will cherish every minute I am here in this world. Let God make them realize their faults. Till then, I will be thick skinned and move forward with out a grudge.

Am I a Baby Boomer?

 

 

Remember young folks, you will also get old one day and life will make you realize how you ever took the least initiative to keep your old buddies comfortable.

 

Life is once again making me learn a new lesson.  The widening generation gap that exists between me and my younger colleagues sucks my life and leaves me demotivated and depressed.

 

Will these youngsters at least spare a few seconds to be considerate and helpful to lend their moral support?

Beginning Again

 
I am always at crossroads. Whenever I begin to do something, it gets me on my toes for it will not happen at the first instance. I need to keep on beginning again and again until I get it done. The hurdles never bog me down but they inspire me to the core and make me work hard to achieve it without fail.

I think of my teenage days when I wanted to conquer the world by doing something different. But life had other plans for me. Yet, I decided to go with the flow and achieve my best. Days of struggles left me numb with pain.

The three years I spent at home - like a closed prison - where I could only watch the clear sky. Though I lived with my parents, those are the days which helped me to be strong at heart and keep on trying my best. Words came as the healer to my loneliness. I wrote every day and shared my feelings and thoughts on white, blank papers and those sheets of papers became my audience. When I joined the nursery school as a teacher, my cherished goals looked bleak and away from my hold.

Lesson learned - Begin again and again and again till you reach your goal.

Impressum

Texte: Kalai Selvi Arivalagan
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.03.2011

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