Prologue
July 2011
“Push Siera Push” is all 17 year old Siera kept hearing in her ear while she felt like her insides were being ripped apart. She was sweating profusely, and was losing her breathe.
“I can’t do this, I feel like I’m dying.”
“Yes you can just give me a couple more pushes and she will be here, and you will be fine.” Said the nurse. She looked around her and seen all of the nurses and doctors, and still didn’t have any hope. That was until she looked over and seen Tyes’ face. He was her boyfriend of two years, and she loved him to death. He was her strength when she was weak, and her sunshine through the rain; right now she needed his strength to pull her through because she didn’t have any of her own. “Baby I’m going to need you to be strong, and push so our beautiful baby girl can be brought into this world.” Siera shook her head up and down, and gave a few more good pushes before she heard the softest cry she had ever heard. Tye cut the umbilical cord, and that is when she finally saw her face. Siera cried tears of joy, her and Tye had done this whole thing without their parents. Her mom, because she had hated Siera since the day she was born. His parents, because they never supported their decision to keep her. “Here’s your beautiful baby girl, what are you going to name her?” the doctor asked while handing her the baby.
“My baby, Taylen Marie Rayne”


Chapter One
September 2011
It was the first day of Sieras’ senior year and also her first time being away from Taylen. She had been raising the little girl on her own, because a couple weeks ago Tyes’ family decided to pick up and move to Atlanta. Deep down inside Siera knew that he really didn’t care if he left her or not. Right after she had the baby things between them started to change. She found out that he was cheating on her during her pregnancy, and they have been broken up ever since. He hadn’t been to see the baby in weeks, but was constantly out partying with his friends. Siera sat at home playing the role of the mother and father alone. Her own mother Veronica hadn’t been much of a help to her teenage daughter and new grandchild. She could barely look Siera or Taylen in their faces. She would leave the house for hours at a time, leaving Siera with no food or even transportation to get her and the baby from place to place. When she would come home, see would be drunk, loud, and with a different man. She acted as though a baby didn’t live in the house with her. Every chance she got she reminded her daughter that if she didn’t like her actions that she could “get out” and that is what Siera planned to do as soon as she got on her feet.
For as long as Siera could remember she felt as though her mother hated her. She left her at home by herself at a very young age and Siera burned their first home down trying to cook her own food. Instead of blaming herself, she blamed the 5 year old little girl and beat her so bad that a teacher took notice and social services got involved. She was taken from her mother for three years and returned when she was 8 years old. She hoped that things would change with her mother, but when she returned they were worse. She never knew her father, her mother would always tell her that he was some broke bum that was only a one night stand. She would tell Siera that not only was meeting her father a mistake, but having her was too. Through the years she just learned to let her mothers’ ill feelings, and ignorant comments go, and moved on with her life. Siera knew that she would have to do what she had to do to make a better life for her child, and that was finishing; with or without the help of Tye.
Siera took Taylen to the local day care that was providing her with free child care for two months. That was a very huge help to her considering the fact that she was broke; she knew that she would have to find a job really soon. When she walked into school that day, it felt so weird. She felt as though she was an adult and the rest of her classmates were immature children. A lot of people whispered when she walked past, but she didn’t pay them any mind. Others asked about the baby and how she was adjusting to motherhood. She answered their questions, when really she didn’t feel like being social with anyone. The only thing that she was worried about was getting home to her baby girl. The day went fairly quick, and before she knew it she was picking Taylen up from day care.
When she arrived home her mother wasn’t there as usual. She left a note saying that she would be back in a couple of hours. Luckily for Siera she and the baby had everything that they needed. She put Taylen in the bath and began to wash her, while she was doing this her phone started to ring. “Hello” she said into the receiver
“hey how was your first day of school” the person on the other line said. She knew by his voice it was Tye.
“Tye how dare you call here, talking like everything is okay? I haven’t talked you in months. What happened to oh hey Siera how is my daughter doing? Or, I’m sorry for how everything turned out with us? But you’re going to call here like everything is normal and it’s not.” she found herself yelling and Taylen crying.
“Look I got to go my baby is crying because you got me all upset. One more thing, please don’t call here again. You made your choice on what you wanted to do a long time ago.” She said to him and hung up the phone. She picked Taylen up out of the tub, hugged her baby and cried. She knew that Tye loved his daughter and maybe even her. But the way that he just didn’t come see Taylen before he left and even when he was there was too much for her to handle. As a mother that showed her that he could pick up and leave their daughters life again if she ever let him back in, and that is something she knew she had to protect her from.
Later that night after putting Taylen down for bed, Siera got on her knees and said a prayer. “God I don’t know if you’re listening to me, but I am here asking you to please give me the strength to raise my daughter alone, and the right way. When I am wrong, show me right, and when it gets dark please lead me back to the light. Thank you.” After her prayer Siera climbed into bed and prepared herself for the hard days to come.


Chapter 2
November 2011
Sieras’ two months of free day care were going to be up in a few days. She had filled out a bunch of job applications, but no one had called her back yet. To top things off she and her mother had been arguing more than normal lately. She threatened to kick her and the baby out, because she said that Taylen cried too much and that is shouldn’t be her responsible to provide a home for her grown daughter and a baby that wasn’t hers. School had been going good for Siera so far, and the first two months went very fast. She started to miss being a real teenager, going out with friends, and not having any responsibilities. Through all of those feelings, she didn’t regret her daughter for the world, and would do anything to provide a better life for her.
That morning Siera dropped the baby of at day care, and the owner reminded her that her first actual payment of $200 would be due in 4 days. Siera told the woman that she would have the money for her, even though deep down knowing that she wouldn’t. She went to school that morning with a lot on her mind. She slept in every class that day, because Taylen had been up all night the night before. When school was finally over, all Siera wanted to do was sleep. She called the daycare to ask if Taylen could stay another hour to or two, because she had some important errands to run. The owner said yes to pick her up at 5:30 that meant two hours of sleep for Siera. When she got home, her mother was there on the couch passed out. She walked past her mother and went into her room and climbed into bed. For some reason she couldn’t sleep, she had too much on her mind. She thought about Tye and the relationship they had and how things would be different if he was there for her. She really loved Tye; she loved him past her heart, but in her soul. He was the closest thing to real unconditional love that she had in her whole life. She just couldn’t get over the fact that he just abandoned her, and especially her daughter. She knew that she he didn’t have any control over the move that his family had made, but even before that he had his priorities screwed up. She had matured, and he didn’t and that is where everything went wrong. She still didn’t know how she was going to get the money to pay for Taylens child care. She knew that if she didn’t she would have to miss school to stay home and take care of her baby. Her last resort was to ask her mother. She didn’t to, but she had to do what she needed to do for her child. She got up out of her bed, and walked into the living room. Her mother was now up watching television.
“Mom I need a really big favor, it’s not for me it’s for the baby”
“You think because it’s for the baby that I’m going to say yes?” her mother said in a smart voice. Instead of starting an argument with her mom she just shook her head.
“I was wondering if you would be able to let me borrow $200 dollars to pay for daycare for the baby, because my free two months are over. I’ll pay you back as soon as I get the money.” Her mother looked at her, and chuckled. Siera couldn’t figure out what was so funny, finally her mother looked at her and said “First off I told you not to have that damn baby, but you just had to thinking that it was going to keep Tye around; but look he still left you. I barely want you two living here at my house, so what would make you think that I would pay for her to go to daycare?” Siera was shocked at her mothers’ words. She knew that she hated her, but she thought her mother would at least have a heart for the innocent child. Tears weld up in Sieras’ eyes she just couldn’t believe her mother.
“You know what mom you are really something. You really hate me don’t you? I think its because you’re jealous of me. I found someone who loved me and cared for me, something that you never had. I’m smart, I’m beautiful, and I’m everything that you’re not. I didn’t get pregnant and just stop going to school like you. I’m still going, and I’m going to finish. I don’t have to sleep with every man who tells me I’m pretty to make me feel good about myself. When it comes to my child I didn’t have her to try to keep a man, I kept her because I was excepting responsibility for my actions. I kept her because I wanted to be a better mom to her that you have ever been to me. One thing for sure and two things for certain, I will succeed with or without. I will make the best life for my daughter, something that you never did.” Her mother just looked at her with a blank stare on her face. Deep down Siera knew that her mother knew that everything she had said was the truth. Siera got up and went to her room to put her shoes and coat on, it was time to go get Taylen. On her way out the house she just looked at her mother, who was on the couch smoking a cigarette like nothing had happened.
She didn’t know how she was going to pay for child care, but one thing she did know was that she would find a way to make this work because she was not quitting school.


Chapter 3
January 2012
Siera didn’t have child care anymore, so just began to take Taylen to school with her. She knew it was against the rules, but she didn’t care. If they wanted her there, and wanted her to finish they were going to have to deal with her and her child. Some of the teachers tripped over it, but most of them didn’t care. They actually commended her for her dedication on finishing school with a child. Some of the female teachers would actually watch Taylen for Siera during their free periods so she could focus in her other classes. This lasted for a couple of weeks. One day while she was in the computer lab typing a research paper, the principal called her to the office over the loud speaker. Deep down she already knew what it was for, so she prepared herself for the worst. When she walked into the office Mrs. Trice was on the phone. When she hung up she looked at Siera and said “I’m really proud of you for still coming to school every day, while being not only a single mother, but a teen mother. I have got a couple of phone calls from parents who are concerned about you bringing the baby to class with you. Now I know that you are trying to do the right thing, and I am not looking down on you. As the principle I have to do what is best for this school as a whole, not just to satisfy just one. So I’m pretty sure you know what I have to do. I’m so sorry Siera.” Siera looked at her with tears in her eyes, she knew that she was right, but deep down she wished that she could have made an exception.
“Ok Mrs. Trice I understand, thank you” she said as she got up to leave the office.
“Siera you can finish out this school day, but no more after this. I’m sorry again.” She looked at her and shook her head.
At the end of the day she put Taylen in her car seat and walked home. While walking she thought about what she was going to do, she knew that she couldn’t afford to miss school during her senior year. She thought of maybe being able to do home school for a while until she could afford to put Taylen back in child care. When she got home she decided to call Mrs. Trice to ask her a few questions. She answered on the first ring “ Hello umm Mrs. Trice this is Siera Torrence, I was calling to see if there was any way possible that I could do home school or come and get my work every day and do it here at home until I can afford child care?”
“Well Siera I know the only way that you are able to do work at home and still pass is through suspension and home school. Now I can make a few phone calls to find out, and I can call you back in about 10 minutes with your answer.”
“Ok thank you so much Mrs. Trice” Siera said then hung up the phone. She was so nervous while waiting for her phone call. She went and made Taylen a bottle and put her in the tub. She had the prettiest baby in the world. Taylen had a head full of hair, with hazel eyes; they were just like her fathers. She had two deep dimples which she got from Siera, with caramel colored skin. She loved her daughter so much and couldn’t imagine her life without her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing. She knew it was Mrs. Trice; she took a deep breath and answered the phone. “Hello”
“Hi Siera this is Mrs. Trice calling back, I spoke with a couple of people. I found out that you are not eligible for home schooling.” Siera sat in silence on the phone, one thing she couldn’t do was cry. She had cried all her tears. There was nothing else she could do.
“Thank you for checking for me”
“You’re welcome Siera, good luck.” With that she hung up the phone. She picked Taylen up looked at her and smiled. No matter what she wasn’t going to let this hold her back, she was going to finish one way or another.


Chapter 4
March 2012
Siera hadn’t been to school in two months. It hurt her so much to think that she may not be able to graduate this year, she was so far behind. She sat in the house everyday with Taylen and her mother. Her mother really meant it when she said that she wasn’t going to help her out with the baby. It pissed Siera off, because her mother didn’t have anything to do during the day. She sat in the same spot in front of the TV and smoked cigarettes back to back. Siera really loved her mom, but she didn’t know why after all the hatred Veronica had showed her. Maybe because she was her mother and she felt like she had to, or maybe because she wasn’t a selfish person. Siera could never figure it out.
One day while she was lying in the bed playing with Taylen her telephone rang. It was Macys offering her employment. Siera said yes. She didn’t even have to get an interview. Siera needed the money bad; she had so many plans on which she was going to do. She planned on sending Taylen back to daycare so she could return to school. She was going to save her money so that she could get a home for her and her daughter. She was so happy. She went into the living room to share the good news with her mother.
“Mom I got a job at Macys, they just called. I’m going back to school in two weeks”
“Good, now since you have a job you have until April to be out of my house.” Siera couldn’t believe her mom, but yet again she could. Instead of arguing Siera just said ok. She wasn’t letting anyone take the joy she felt inside of her away. She went back in her room, and hugged Taylen so tight. She was happy, and this was just the first step in the right direction.
“Taylen Marie Rayne all we need is each other. We will end up on top.”
Siera called Mrs. Trice to tell her that she would be returning to school in about two weeks. Mrs. Trice told her that was fine, and that she would have to put in over time to catch up. Something that Siera already knew. Mrs. Trice also proceeded to tell her about a program that gives housing to teenage mothers, and pays there first three months’ rent for them. The program was through welfare, and there was not a long waiting list. That made Siera happier than she was when she got the call about the job.
Siera woke early the next morning got Taylen and herself together, and walked to the welfare office. She prayed the walk there, praying that she would get approved for an apartment. When she walked in they directed to her the office of Ms. Merlin. “Hello Ms. Torrence it’s nice to meet you, and who is this pretty little lady?” Ms. Merlin said
“This is Ms. Taylen Rayne”
“Okay so you’re interested in the teenage housing program”
“Yes ma’am I am”
“Okay well I am going to ask you a few questions. Just to put into the system. We can actually find out if you’re approved today. If you are you will get your keys today and you can move in whenever you like.” Siera was ecstatic. She asked her a series of questions, about her personal life with her mother. Taylens’ father Tye, and about her employment. After answering all of the questions, Siera found out that she was approved for the apartment, which was fully furnished. Ms. Merlin gave her the keys, and told her that she was able to move in whenever she liked. Her first payment of rent would be due May. She walked to her new apartment, that wasn’t far from where she lived now. She loved it, it was a bit small but it was big enough for her and her baby girl. She loved it even more, because it was hers.
She decided not to tell her mother about the apartment just yet, because she would have probably tried to make her leave that day. Siera didn’t want to leave her mothers until she got back into school and Taylen back into daycare. Siera felt like she was on top of the world and nothing could bring her down.


Chapter 5
May 2012
Things had been going very good for Siera. She had been living on her own since March, and she had caught up in school. She ended up doing so well just brought up her class rank from 26 to 6 out of a class of 185, and graduation was on May 27th. She hadn’t talked to her mother; she didn’t let it bother her that much though. She felt as though if God wanted them to come together, he would bring them together. If not then she wasn’t going to push it, and stress herself out because she was doing too well to let Veronicas misery bring her down. She loved working at Macys and being able to provide for Taylen and herself on her own. She got accepted to The University of Alabama in Birmingham, she found out that they offered the same housing program down there so she would be moving to Alabama in the fall. The University had decided to pay for her education for four years due to her academic rigor. Siera often thought about Tye, and what life could have been like with him and their daughter. She couldn’t dwell on that because she had made a good life for herself without him and his family. Taylen was growing up so fast. She looked like a little angel, Siera was so proud to be her mother; she was now nine months old. She was the happiest baby Siera had ever seen. She couldn’t wait for school to be done, so she and Taylen could move to a bigger city. She hated living in such a small town. Siera hadn’t been more happier in her life, she had begun dating a guy named Jamal. She really like him, he was everything she needed in a man. He worked at a steel mill, and had his own place. He didn’t judge Siera about her past, and he didn’t rush her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Taylen loved him too, every time he would come around Taylen would act a fool. He truly made Siera happy, and she wanted him in her future. Today was the day that Siera was to pay her rent for the first time. When she drove to the welfare office, and handed Ms. Merlin the money she was overcome with joy. She finally had made it, and she did it alone. She knew that people had doubted her, but she showed them that she was capable. She was furthering her career as a High School English Teacher, and making a better life for her and her daughter. No one could bring her down.


Epilogue
August 2012
Siera and Taylen were living comfortably in Alabama. Even though they didn’t have any family there, but it felt like home. She was starting her classes at the University and they provided daycare for her. She started working at the Macys down there, and had a new title as assistant manager.
Her mother came to graduation and apologized for everything that had happened in the past. She and Siera sat down and had a long talk, and they are now working on their relationship.
Siera and Jamal decided that they wanted to become official, and was going to transfer his job to Alabama to be with her and Taylen.
Tye called every now and then. He lived in Atlanta; he went to Georgia State on a football scholarship. He still hadn’t grown up, but Siera wasn’t mad. He claimed that he was going to make a trip down to Alabama to see Taylen, and surprisingly to herself Siera was ok with it. She felt as though it wasn’t her choice to keep him out of her life that would be Taylens choice when she got older if he started to mess up. It was just her job to be by her daughters’ side to pick her up if things went wrong.
Through all the joy, pain, sunshine and rain, Siera made it through. With the love, and the beautiful smile of her princess, Taylen Marie Rayne.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.02.2012

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