My three beautiful children run up to me after the long day at work; yesterday, the paper had been dropped in my mailbox: I am officially drafted into the U.S. Army. I will be going to war for 10 months – maybe longer – and will be in training for the next 2 months.
I glanced at my children and wondered how I will leave them here without a father. Even when I come back, the training and war will have morphed my mind into something completely different – a monster, perhaps. Their father will no longer be here, only a man who has been changed into something completely different.
“Daddy! Look! I drew you something, it's a picture of you, me, Mommy, and ...” I stop listening but nod at the appropriate places; Gabriella can talk for hours without anyone having to put in a comment. I look up at my wife, and she returns an understanding glance; we both have to tell them somehow, or maybe I will just do it and leave the consoling up to her. I don't know yet. Either way, I miss them all so much already.

I'm walking up a treacherous hillside, out of breath and gasping for air. I listen to the gunshots; hear the screams of the victims in front of the flying, angry bullets. Being in this war; let's just say it's not desirable. I feel the heat of a bullet stream past me and I duck into the grass; I crawl down the rocky side of this mountain of a hill and find a cave. Empty: a rarity around this time.
I can still hear the rumbling of the machines, the screams, the frantic footsteps – but they're muffled. I don't even have time to consider jumping into the cave to get away from it all before I hear heavy footsteps coming closer. I grab the gun that's hanging over my chest and cock it before the guy stops me.
Jim. By the time I realize what I was about to do, I drop the gun and Jim yells at the top of his lungs. He shoots the guys running up behind me right after I duck; he cuts it so close that I feel the air around the bullet shift and shatter like glass, pressing against the back of my neck. The guy drops and Jim pushes me over to the side and starts screaming at me, only I can't hear him – the bullet's voice still ringing in my ears. Jim looks really mad, though; so mad that his face is almost purple and a vein sticks out on his forehead like those cartoons my children back home watch. I miss them, that's all I can think about as I sit there, mute, watching Jim shout and scream – the enemies too focused on killing the other men to pay attention to us, for some reason. An easy target, Jim is. I start glancing at the cave again, wondering how I'm going to get Jim to calm down and get in there so he can finish his tantrum without risk, but then I saw his movement cease out the corner of my eye.

We've been running all day; I had no idea that I was this out of shape. I've never been in a fight, nor have I ever tried to get into one – I'm the biggest wuss I know. I pray my son's stronger than me.
The best soldier is Jim Ellis; he can get under and out of those wires in under a minute without breaking a sweat. The thing about Jim, though, is that he tries to help all of us out - “us” meaning the ones that can't do crap. He's a very good man; he wants everyone to be a good soldier. He's my bunk mate and has my back when I screw up on something, like not making the bed right or if my uniform looks out of place.
Jim's tough, though. He never shows emotion; even if he's angry he doesn't show it.
The battle we fought, I was scared beyond my mind. I probably shot all of ten bullets the whole battle – hiding the rest of it. Jim was there, shooting all of the guys that came at me, beating them down with the shear force of his fist. We lost a lot of men that day, and the only reason I wasn't one of them was because Jim was there. On the way back to the base after the battle, Jim finally said something to me.
“Hey, are you okay, man?”
I looked at him; I didn't know how to respond. Plus, I was thinking of something to say to him – how to thank him, because Jim is a hard person to thank.
“Look, don't say thanks, okay? It's fine; I get it. You're a good man, and you have a family to get back to; I get it,” he said. I just looked at him, then he smiled and punched my shoulder – harder than he probably intended. Since then, me and Jim just kind of stuck together. I've been trying to pay him back ever since.

I glance up and notice that Jim stopped yelling and I'm not sure why; he's just standing there, looking at me. His face is becoming drained of color and it's softening. I now know what's happening; Jim's dead. It's two seconds before I realize I should move, and then he falls. I push him off me and run; I hate myself, I hate this war. I can't even stop to mourn – but of course, Jim wouldn't want me to mourn. He would probably punch me dead in the jaw if he saw me upset and sad, call me a wimp; “You idiot!” he'd say, “You're in the middle of a war! You're supposed to be fighting for your life; 'Don't think, just do,' like what Sargent says!”
I run up the hill and through the bloody mass of bodies – alive and dead. I hear the Cruch and crack of soldiers’ bones. I kill anyone in my path, using every weapon that is on my person. I stab and pound and shoot with all I've got; Sargent would be very surprised – Jim would be surprised, too. I fight 'til I'm mad with remorse and anger. I fight to get back home, 'til I can't stand on my two feet anymore, 'til the anger and remorse finally take over every fiber of my being, driving me insane. I fight for a million years, and then I finally drop.
A bullet pounded its way into my body, right under the ribcage. I push myself over the hill and fall to the sand on the shore. I begin to think of everything that got me here in the first place, everything that's happened until this point; it all just flashes through my mind: me marrying my wife, her having my children, moving into our house, Germany, Russia, Japan, the bombings, me getting drafted and sent off to a war I don't even want to fight, the quick training, coming here. It flashes through my mind in a matter of seconds.
That's when I see it, the cave. Hallucinations are coming. I can hear... Nothing. I see the cave open up and swallow me whole. On the other side, my kids and wife are there, along with two men in uniform in front of them. My wife is crying, and my kids look concerned.

Impressum

Bildmaterialien: I guess Google Images.
Lektorat: Too many people to name, so thanks to those people, :).
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.08.2012

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Widmung:
To my mother, who I love with all my heart. Even though you can't ever REALLY edit my stories, I love you more than you realize.