my memories

 

 

 

HIDDEN MOMENTS

My memories

 

4/19/2012

 

MR. ROMEO JEFF FREDSON

 

 

 

 

Preface

How would one tell of his own life if he has not made success in his life? Well the author of this book (Romeo Fredson Jeff) who is studying science at Achimota Senior High School, and wishing to further his education at KNUST in Kumasi, has penned his past life experiences and its betterment now in his life so he could make impact in the lives of others. This book has a whole lot to teach young people that life is just a little flower one has to hold on very firmly and never leave the people who come with them and never lose hope.

With immense love he approaches any reader of strong interest in how, when, what and all the question tags in this very piece of his own.

To my dear mum I say God bless you for not neglecting this pregnancy. You really knew you would be able to raise me to be somebody one day.

To my dad thanks for the fatherly support to a son of your own.

To my siblings; you gave me the encouragement to each day`s work.

To my friends I love you all for inspiring my life.

To ma Silke, I love you for your endless and bountiful support to my educational, religious and social wellbeing. I say God bless you so much.

And all others observed……God bless you all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER ONE

This has been the place I have ever lived since the age of 10 years. I lived in complete poverty and hard life, back 10 years ago I was likened to a poor child: yet there was still love, affection, charity, devotion and discipline in my life. Though most of the time my mum was all I thought I had, I never knew that God was also watching.

Too young to understand why my mummy cried a lot and nearly died, I hardly felt peace in my heart. I would always grieve alongside my mum. I wholly took comfort in her. Few were the times when I saw my dad. He was far away from home, and I never understood why he was never around to help my mum. Sometimes I almost thought he was dead but he comes out of the blue; in fact unexpectedly. He comes out of nowhere into the light.

Before these times, back in 10 years, my parents were one happy couple and they made one good home; yes one but it all changed when little problems began to affect the good home. One was the loss of my dad’s job at airport shell, then he tried masonry yet that wasn`t enough, striving very hard he tried minor jobs. My mother on the other hand went teaching at a school called St. Francis catholic and really she was very good at doing it. But since she was the mother of five children by then, she had to stop and keep the home running and spend time with her lovely children.

Everything by then in life was merciless to us. We had to borrow foodstuffs from neighbors who were fairly good to us. The largest sum I can remember we owed was by then in old Ghana; 3,000,000.00. This depth kept piling until I could not tell how much we owed. Even up to now, I don’t really know the exact amount even though I can`t imagine how my parents were able to pay the depth. Most times we barely had three square meal. The main menu could be rice and stew or ``banku`` and okra soup or palmnut soup or groundnut soup this is was our local dish. This is really accompanied by lots of water just to keep the tommy full. Our small piece of land became a farm, where we planted maize, cocoyam, yam and plantains or potatoes. These crops barely do well because the nourishment of the land did not support the growth of the crops. When there was no money, nothing seemed to do well or work well. Our schooling was at stake. At home we were beaten when we failed to learn, my parents made us good pupils at home. Whenever little money came home it was always channeled into our education hoping for a better improvement in us: bringing home good grades in our exams. I especially felt the weakness at home because when my mummy got ill my daddy was away for a long time, I turn to be the female of the house, all because I was the firstborn child and capable of running the errands. I was about 8 or 9 years old, when I knew how to do everything a girl could do. I cook, fetch water, wash the dishes, sweep the room, and the compound. Sometimes I do feed my younger brothers and sisters. My sister was just 7 years and then she was followed by tripplets who were about three months old. Not long enough my mum got pregnant again with the expectation of a sixth born. She had had pains during the times when she gave birth to the five of us. She went through many operations to be able to deliver successfully. So this time she really felt pain having this one. Her wound of the previous birth was not properly healed. She cried a lot and even died out of weakness. I loved my mummy so much that I wouldn`t complain when I got too tired to be sent. I was there to make her happy. My mum was so loving and caring, she also cherished discipline. She beats me when I do something she told me not to do. She will wipe me till I am really dealt with. My dad will only talk twice the third time he would use a different strategy, i.e. he would beat me till I am very well beaten.

Discipline indeed was the key role of the house and that made me one strong person in life. Times and months passed by and my mum recovered from pain. She was also able to walk and stand on her feet but she was still pregnant when she started going round to look for aid. Every day she had to go out or else it would be a hell for us all. The most meal we took when she was away as “gari and stew” or “soakings”. We were being locked in the bedroom until she got back from her rounds. But as time went on she began to leave the house with my young brothers and sister (the triplets). Just my sister who is followed by the tripplets and I were left alone in that quiet and lonely house. This went on for several weeks and months. We didn`t know where they went or what they did. All I did know was they had been somewhere and then they are back. Until one day, in the afternoon around 12:00pm, my mum and siblings were back than their usual time of arrival. They really were happy when they came back. My mum upon their arrival told me that I should go pack my things for the next day, we were going somewhere called children’s home. I had never heard that before and likewise didn`t know what it is. But at least the name sounded cool to me. So I packed all my belongings and helped pack for my brothers and sisters. My brothers were not that old enough to pack for themselves so I helped them. It took me the whole day to stop thinking about where I would school and never be sacked, and what foods I would eat without asking for more. I kept thinking whiles working with my mum all day. For once in my life I could that my mum was relieved. She seemed to be hymning some nice tune; which sounded to as if she was thanking someone beyond what she could say. That evening I didn`t know my dad had heard of the good news. He came over from sogakope, where he resided to work in a local hospital. When he arrived I took his bags and loads from him and placed it in the room where the whole family slept.

After supper that evening, when everyone was ready to receive some fresh air on the porch, my parents sat us down to give us some notes of caution as to how we should behave when we get there. And for the second time in the day I saw my mum talk as if she had not a problem in the family. My father on the other hand was okay about the whole issue, and my siblings kept telling me all the nice things they saw at the home and even how they were attended to as visitors. All went so well with us that night. We needn`t have to stay awake to learn, just a good night sleep.

 

THE SIX BLESSINGS FOR MY READERS

In times of difficulties never lose hope for God`s time is the best.

Who so ever that God has blessed is blessed forever.

God is ready to do exceedingly above all other creatures and gods.

Your downfall now is just the beginning to achieving your destined success.

Do not listen to what others would say to bring you down.

It is not over yet your miracle is on the way to your door step.

 

CHAPTER TWO

Early the next morning we all woke up to bath and had some breakfast. My mummy and daddy were already awake. My mum was preparing breakfast when we woke up and for my father he was long gone to work. He came because of the news. After everybody had had their bath and got dressed, we all sat on mat, placed the foods on it whiles we ate. This day was so soon in my life and I still can`t believe it; that for such a long time my dreams and hopes were coming into reality. As our mouths were chirping up and down, I noticed the sight of a taxi in front of our gate, and the taxi driver coming out through our wooden gate and towards our main entrance door. The driver came over to the hall where we were having breakfast. I approached and greeted him. I asked him of his reason of invitation. He told me my mum asked him to come that very morning. I told him to wait while I go and get my mum. So waiting in the hall while I left to call my mum he was chatting with my younger siblings. There I knew who that person was. He is a friend to my mummy. When I returned I told him to wait a minute while my mum came out of the room. In about a minute later my mum came out of the room to receive the visitor (the driver). They went further away from the hall to speak. She came back after about thirty seconds to tell us to hurry and get our things prepared. So in about five minutes we had finished and were packing our things into the taxi. Sooner we were done with the packing and my mummy locked the empty room and we went sitting in the car. By the time we realized we were all hauling in the taxi going to our dream land. Finally we arrived at our destination, we came through a corner with a sigh post on it written ‘’Angle`s View’’, beside it was another with the name ‘’Kinder Paradise children`s home’’. I felt happy and relieved of too much thinking. In front of one of four giant blue gates the taxi came to a halt.

We got out of the car and took out our bags and luggage from the boot of the taxi. My mum paid the driver and he drove off. We took our bags and luggage through the gate on a paved ground. Every one of the children was very happy to meet us. I hadn`t seen any of them before but I really noticed that my brothers were here before. After all the welcome address at the entrance of the gate we were about to move when something held my leg, I turned around to see what that was. When I turned I saw a monkey which was named lucky, and just in front of us came running a dog also by the name freder. This was the first time I have ever in my life seen a monkey being a pet in a home alongside a tamed dog. All monkeys I have seen were either on TV or at the zoo when I once visited there; and for dogs I only see very wild ones around where I lived. That evening we were shown our respective place of aboard. I slept in the boys house whiles for the mean time my younger brothers and sisters slept in my mummy`s room.

For some months everything new to me became normal. I learnt everything and every rule in the home perfectly well. In the mornings there was devotion after our normal house chores at 8:30am and 6:00pm every day. Soon after I got there, I started schooling. Now I knew everybody in the home and I even made a lot of friends at school also. My first day at school was very memorable my friends took me round to great other colleagues of theirs at school during break time. In class I was next to kin. I past every test and I were almost exceptional from the others and as I took every day effective studies I began to imbibe more knowledge and understanding. I was very quick in understanding mathematics and English. As for the other subjects I barely failed. This was just the beginning of my academic improvement. But as time went on something new came up in my life. My friends always came to me during break telling me that there is a girl in their class who has falling for me. By then I did not know what they meant so I just told them to tell her I accept her to be my friend. When I was with my mum she had never told me anything like this; I guess I was too young then. She was called Adzokatse and was very rich as well. I might be tempted to follow her because of her wealth because I do not have to suffer to get anything I needed, but one thing I learnt from my mum was that if you chase too much wealth you might die young. But I didn`t take that notice before the gifts started coming in their quantities. Michael who was by then in her class was the messenger between both of us. We wrote to each other many times through him. She sent gifts through him to me I was just doing the receiving. I was very poor to also give back something to appreciate her gift we never met in person and I never knew her until my mum heard of it and got furious with me and gave me a strong warning to quite what I was doing. I hid to her and then one faithful day I met her and told her she should stop sending me gifts and stop writing because my mum was very angry with me. She was not very happy about what I told her but I can`t risk to get another beating from my mum or a worse from my dad. Soon enough we were transferred to a different place called pram pram. But before we were transferred I received another from Adzokatse telling me how much she loved me and that I had ruined her love for me. This time after I read the letter I understood what she meant when she was sending me those numerous gifts. Also I got the meaning of the kind of friendship she meant building with me. You see all this time since I never knew anything about a love relationship, I did not get her when she said to me in a previous letter that and I quote, ’Romeo I want us to be friends forever ‘. She was really infatuated about me. At least I was handsome and every girl would wish to have someone like me.

One month after we left for prampram, the place that ma silke had built for us the younger ones in Adenta. By then she built just one house and was on the foundation of the second house. The land area was very wide and big and for the exact measurement I cannot tell. There was a kitchen, a summer hut, a big playground in front and a big football park behind the house. We faced many adventures at this place with the breeding of mosquitoes, frogs, and scorpions. The house had seven bedrooms, two toilets, a living room, two corridors and two bathrooms. The number of us who relocated at this place was not that many so we all slept in the same house. The dormitories were divided into two. We had two mothers taking care at that time; my mum and one other mother who had worked with Mrs. Silke since the time when they started the project in the Volta region with just 20 children and later relocated in the Greater Accra region

At prampram, we also had two cooks who followed us all the way from Adenta. Their names include; sister Gifty Asilevi, and sister Gifty Edua. We had a watchman called brother Theophilus. Those times were very memorable, we schooled outside the home. Christ vision international school complex is the name of the school we attended. It was one of the top schools in prampram. They were very competitive when it comes to academic excellence as comparing it to other schools. Kinder Paradise children were very much recognized due to our hospitality and friendliness, as well as being good academicians.

 

                                                      

 

 

 

 

                                                             CHAPTER THREE

It did not take long before we had our own school at the home. We fled from the present school to ‘’kinder paradise Bonita school’’. A school by us, for us and to us. Now there was no time to waste when the school was just at our doorstep. I could wake up very early with the summer hut; our present dining hall. Just after devotion is breakfast time. There were only four tables (long tables with two benches at the side) and a plastic chair at the end of the tables for the mothers to those tables. After eating and at every meal we clean the dining hall in turns. The work was rotated after every week. Every table took turns to work. I was the leader and therefore I organized every one of my table members to work when it was our turn. At dining we observe some important rules such as; no talking and walking about. We sit till dining is over and then we can recollect our noise. On the individual table everyone had some work to do. There were people responsible to bring our table bowl; the big bowl in which we keep our food plates inside, then someone to wash the bowls that contained the food after it had been dished out. In fact we were trained to behave as responsible children. Discipline on the other hand was just like the journey from the nose to the eye. You would receive instant discipline when you intentionally refuse to take up your responsibility. In other words you would be instantly punished. It was an offense to leave your duties and leave for school. Since the distance from the house to the school was just like the spaces between your fingers, mothers would walk to the headmistress`s office to ask for permission for your execution out of the class to go and do your duties.

For me this was not a problem because, I wasn`t thought by my mum or dad to wake up without even brushing my teeth so certainly I cannot leave my duties undone. At school when I was in class six with my colleagues; Jephthah, Kingsley, derrick, nana yaa and Angelina, we were joined by others from Adenta. Some also came from the town. They were on scholarship but not all of them. They were Sarah, Yannick, Diata, Vida coming from Adenta and Joana, Rebecca, and Nathan Pinto coming from the town. The positions in the class were very competitive because everybody I would say was a SHARK (very brilliant). Sarah was a headache for me because since she came, she always topped the class whiles I just followed up with just one or two marks difference. Sometimes too she goes the extra mile. I just seemed not to understand why I could not retain my position in class that even the day I try harder it would just hook up to a tie. Our battles got stronger and stronger most times she comes first and I will climb up to her tail and other times I would almost win the battle but she strike it to a tie. She got the name ‘’knowledge mother’’, the short unstoppable determined lady. But I was given something a little bit humble ‘’wisdom father’’, the incredible challenging and strong humble guy. All of a sudden what seemed to me to be like a battle seemed into creating peace our names roamed the school; even to the extent of assuming us as lovers? My relationship with her became very close than before. At first I feared ladies but since I lived here I got used to talking to them every day. Even our duties were of gender balance and therefore I would have no chance of showing my fear. I simply had to work it out.

But day in and day out I studied harder and I stopped at nothing to strike a lot of ties. In mathematics I was very good so I felt comfortable yet the sense in winning the highest position in majority of the subjects bored me so much. Yet I kept myself always filled and prepared. One day for me I found lucky information that she was going home for some time to turn to some family issues and would be back soon. So when the day arrived she packed and got ready to go. She left one evening with some relatives of hers. But there was one thing I couldn`t understand about her going, that she might not come back. Upon hearing this news I was very much alarmed because even though I was happy that I would take up the position again, I was not happy about what I heard her say to me. ‘’Romeo I might not come back, pls. pray for me’’, she said. Wow this was very touchy yet very sad. I kept this message and thought of it. Why won`t she be able to come? Has she left the home forever or something really was worrying her. Now I almost every day thought of her presence and her absence as well. But I could not do anything about it. All I`ve got do was move on with my studies and learn hard to top the class again. My friends; Jephthah, and Yannick were one very good competitor in class and they were both good friends as well. They are very tight friends that not even magic could separate them. I was their friend too but I could not always be around them; I just did not like to be at one place for a certain time interval. I felt like moving around and sticking out with some other friends.

But we did love each other’s company and respected each other so well. We might quarrel but it only last for a short period in a day and we were back together. I used to say, ’it would be difficult for boys not to talk to themselves when they are at a disagreement even when they`ve fought but unlike ladies it is very predominant among them, some far and even more. Well I went on with my normal life and fought the thoughts that would come up each day.

With the absence of the top notorious but funny friend, I decided to make a new friend someone to keep my company and to fill the hole that was left in my moments. Well who did I find? I guess after a week I became fond of no one in particular. I spent most of the time playing football with younger kids and my brothers. I became so attached to football than to chatting with anyone. I loved football so much that every day I called all the young children in the house; I mean the boys of cause. I coached them to play football and thought them all the rules of the game. Even I was not that perfect but I guess I did learn from what I was teaching them. Sooner than later I got myself in to learning the big deal in football. Sometimes one must expect nothing but the worse and other times it turns vice versa. I also faced problems with the kids, some really wants to do their best but it seems to them that they are not doing their best. I would only have to encourage them and tell them that it takes just time to know ones full ability and one cannot jump into winning a race when he or she has not fully prepared. Later I got my friend Jephthah to helping me. He saw what I was doing to make the kids happy and drawing them to love the game they play. Once, before I got this whole football thing in to being, my small brother Jeddy told me he wanted to be a footballer and I was very happy that he did mention something I loved to watch on TV. As at then I did not know how to play football but I did know the rules of the game. Every day I got up myself and tried to learn how to play. Sometimes after some time of training I would get him involved and it did make some good time on the pitch together. That I can say we made some smiling and tiring moments together. He picked everything I thought him very fast, he was such an excellent student as well as a good footballer.

I was not very surprised that he did quite was very good and every one praised him when they played together on the field aside other good players I trained. For my brother I thought him earlier than now so he was very familiar with every exercise I brought up to teach them he sometimes was my training assistant. Until the time I left the team he was their captain and Joe another terrific player in the team was his assistant. I had almost eighteen (18) players in the team. I named the team little stars. This was due to their structure and body size, yet they could play with the elderly like those between the ages of 15, 16…., and above.

When I wrote my B.E.C.E and was about leaving for Adenta, I could not stand that I would be missing them. But I did left the team in the hands another friend I knew could handle the team when I was away. I mean a put him in charge of the team as the new manager of the team. All these people helped me when I was handling the team with Jephthah. With the team I won many games in and out of the home. They impact in the lives of others by showing their great ability in the field of soccer and by playing fair. When I left for about a year and half I was updated on their successes and loses adhered. I only promised to buy them football and other training attires.

To this very day I am still the founder of “little stars academy” and I am very proud of that. It is an achievement in most of my achievements’ in this home. That aside, I have also found time to make watch the realities of life. I was always thinking of the time when I was told that someone had fallen for me. Hmmmm…… I can`t forget the times I spent my life being a reached boy at Nadat Memorial School. I did not know how to make my own amends when there need arises, all I had to do was rely on people to do it for me.

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER FOUR

I have been realizing a change in my life ever since the day I got to know that nothing in life works as it is we need to make our own difference in it. Fantasizing with the pleasures of this earth had being a part of me. I knew not of anything but I kept doing them because they seemed very pleasant and agitating. I made friends everywhere I went but never knew how to keep them. I joined in doing stubborn things like stealing bread from the kitchen, fighting, insulting, disobeying rules and regulations and not telling the truth. Once I nearly hurt a little girl when I was about 12 years old. The girl could probably be 8 or 9 year; I wasn`t sure of. But I could not proceed with my intentions, something pulled me back and that was the memory of my mother`s punishable fist.

When I was young I was told that if I should cross lines with a girl, she would obviously get pregnant and I would have to take care of the baby which I knew I couldn`t do. So this rang in my memories every time I was with a girl. But at school I learnt that a girl at adolescence or experiences her first menstrual cycle can get pregnant no matter the age and period that she experienced her menses. You see since I feared so much to be beaten by my mum or dad I did not ventured even kissing a girl; you know of cause that, that is not baby producing and I cannot be caught for any wrong of such act. Yet I kept my virginity to this day and I am very proud of that. Most of the times the friends I stayed with influenced me into doing such acts but since I know enough to be easily lured into saying yes, I always ignored their calling. I also did say NO to one of them a time ago. Now I can`t tell who can lure me into such act anymore because I am fully loaded with aspirations and plan B`s in my mind. I have a whole lot of parental advice and love in my mind. My parents always say to me Romeo do not make friends so they won`t destroy you and now I know why, some friends are just bustards, they have no better intentions for themselves so in their failures they force you to join and later in life make fun of you when you are not able to make that which you wished for to come in to being. Well aside my parents advice I know for myself that I am the first born of five other siblings of mine who are looking up to me, and so I have to lead a path worthy of the family name and mentorship they have in me. I can`t say that I don`t have a friend I do but I always transfigure the advice of my parents to be “Romeo make good friends that would lead you towards your goal.” Why did I do it or say turn the advice this ways? It is because even the Bible says it Genesis 1:18, then the Lord God said “it is not good that the man should be alone so I will make him a helper.” And that was when he formed Eve out of the ribs of Adam; so I thought myself to love and cherish only good friends. The question in this case is that how would I know I am making only good friends, there is a saying that goes like this “show me your friend and I would show my true character.” So people cannot keep pretending to be good for the rest of their life if they really do not possess good friendship ethics. For me, it was my challenge to find the best friends I need to help me through this life.

Sometimes when I sit and begin to think about my past the question I ask myself is that why did I not foresee certain salient things that happened to me when I could have known how to solve it, then I realize how childish I was. Now things have changed I’m almost very upright, the friends I make are of better influence than previous ones. They always keep my company.

The wonders of this world would sigh a word worthy of me. I now believe and trust in a Heavenly Father (God) and his son (Jesus Christ of Nazareth). My ways are been straightened as well as my life in Him. My soul rests very calmly like the flow of a meadow in a tributary. My eyes seem to see more than it should see. I have a strong power to convince the creatures of the earth. Everything could speak to me but not as in the terms of their language. I understood the difference between human beings and animals.

I loved to be occupied by nothing but the natural view of the trees in the compound. Tall trees that looked like the mahogany tree, a garden full of flowers reflecting their positive illusions in my mind. Any time I passed or seat close by it; I watched it, I smelled the communication among the leaves, I see the tiny insects relax on it, suck nectars and remote from one kind of flower to another.

All the flowers had a unique feature. The roses proclaimed their love, the sunflowers proclaimed their brightness, the unfailing lilies never neglected their heights, and I watched until I fell asleep or dozed off. Until when very soon the images faded out of my dream and erupted into a human being with a total different exhibits I have to learn and maybe this one would make my dreams a reality. This I can`t tell off except I spend a tremendous time with.

Time and time went by and I got to know her better, the way she was known by people was not the way she is actually. The only thing that no one knew about her was that she has not been able to receive the lovely care she had ever longed for. She has lost her mum and she really does not know how that happened, I guess she can`t forgive any of her relatives they left her in and orphanage to be taking care of. No one wants to have her around in the house. So she only spent her whole life being an orphan but right down from her childish livelihood she has made an impact in the life of many people. She loves kids and she is always making people laugh from their sad moods each day.

Personally I have learnt a lot from her; in this very chapter and the next I am sharing them.

Arabella is the charming young girl that erupted in my dreams the day I awoke from my nap. She exhibits a whole lot of loving kindness, she is full of peace but she has a strong character that stands for her rights. She never allows herself to the defeat of others. When she is right about something but misconstrued she does not take it easy. Well I will also say that anytime I am around her I feel very comfortable to tell her anything about myself. I spend every time in my day around her. I always want to learn of the difference in her.

Before I got around her, I have wished to have a friend like her always. Yet she was a friend to another. And before this friendship, I had a friend who wanted to be my girlfriend. She said one Saturday evening, “Romeo I came here because of you, I want that we be friends not only friends but more than friends.” Then she said, “Romeo I love you and I want you to love me also.” By her words I was dump and I could not answer her that moment so I told her I would think about it. The following day I told her that about what she said the day before I can`t carry that through. I said to her, “Princess I can`t do this, my heart is not in this and so I don`t think I can.” She did nod her head that she agreed. But later people came to me telling that they have seen Princess crying for what have I done to her that she is weeping. “We know that she is your friend and just arrived yesterday, and today she is crying. What have you done to her?” So I went out to see for myself what they said. Lo and behold, there many girls outside the girls’ house shouting my name. I went closer to hear that it was the same story I was been told. Quickly I called Princess and I asked her is it because of the answer I gave you why you`re crying and she admitted it. Very young I was by then and I was also considering her feelings and not mine as well. I did not think about the long term effect of this incident so I told her okay, if it is accepting you that would make you happy, then I do love you too. It seemed after that everything came down to normal. I made her stay very comfortable. I was almost always around her. When she called for me I went. But after her stay was over and had to leave for home, I gave her a goodbye hug and told her to study hard for her exams in school. Then she left. Well earlier of her stay, there was a little problem again; the problem was that an issue from another girl came up. And that was she said, “Romeo woa ye me adea” in our local language (Twi) meaning I have done her something wrong. I asked what she meant by that and I was told that she proposed to me where I accepted. But the only thing I know was one day after church she told me that I depict a picture of her friend Paa Kwesi and I always remind her of him. She conveyed this message to me after Teresa came telling me that Teresa wants to talk to me. I told her I was glad that seeing me reflect some characters of her friend makes her happy. I also said to her that it has always been my prayer to make people happy and not to make them sad. Then she asked if we could be friends and I said yes. So when I heard the news I confronted and reminded her of the statement she made to me on that faithful day. “Can we be friends?” I never liked the idea of her trying to make a big deal out of nothing. I spoke to her telling her how I liked her but as a friend and as a sister in the home. And if she had wanted something she could have told me and not making me feel bad about her.

After Princess left, for like a week I wrote her a letter telling her how I wanted to make her enjoy her stay and that was the reason why I came back saying yes to her proposal. After the letter got to her and I got a feedback woo… it was a worse she could not study hard for her exams. At school all she did was to cry. For a whole month she learnt nothing but wept as if she had lost her parent or a loved one. Then there I got the heat and realized I had made a mistake and I had put myself in to a great mess and I have to find a way to solve this problem.

So I did not write back knowing that writing won`t solve the problem. After my final exam that took place (B.E.C.E.) I went to Adenta the elder youth home that is where she resides. Arriving at the place I knew it would not be easy to approach her but I had to, and I did. First she would not allow me to speak to her but later she did after I asked some of her friends to speak to her for me. Speaking to her I made understand that she could not be very happy when I would always pretend to love her. And I want her to understand that even though she might think that I am too young I still understood love more than she understands.

Love comes from the heart and does not pretend love is always ready to be with anyone. Love is the only thing that respects both old and young and does not reject the poor. Anyone who is love is blinded by his opponent’s faults. I told her that I am not willing to make her suffer my lose and she must understand that I can`t continue to make a fool out of myself. But she must keep her head up high to look for another friend who would be able to offer her what she needed. Final all I pleaded for, was for her not to note me to be a wicked person. I also told her that it doesn`t mean that we were enemies; she could still come to me for anything she needed.

For some time she had it very difficult to understand me but persistent talking with her and being with her made her to get to know what I meant better. But still thinks of what I did as something she cannot forget. Even till this day anytime she thinks of that issue she could not take it in. well then I found this girl I spoke off earlier (Arabella) she had a hard time with her life. In her relationship she is worse than any other relationship problems I solved in my life. All her boyfriends never fulfilled their promises. They had taste for other girls and regarded her as less because she does not give in to their sexual desires. She stood firm not to give in to them. But currently with the one she is with, he doesn`t talk to her frequently or ask about how she has been or if there was anything wrong with her. But she always feels the edge to ask of him.

Her life was so miserable and she always wish that God would give her a companion that would accept her just the way she is and not for sex. When I got closer to her it was because of one thing, I liked who she was even though the rumors that she is a devil and being wicked fled in to my ears I put death ears to them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CHAPTER FIVE

I began to understand this figure when I allowed myself to get close to her. When I stood with her through the times when people scolded at her she began to tell me her life story. Really God has been with her till this day. She has buried a lot of hatred in her towards people who had sexually abused her. She told she would tell me a very personal story and that before she tells me I should promise that I would not live her even if I get hurt by the story. But since I have already grew fond of her I promised to not neglect her and that we could still be friends.

Then there she told me something tragic one of which I never really expect to happen. She was raped by three young men one day when she was sent on an errand. She was very small and could not defend herself, she struggled but they were stronger than her. Shouted but no one heard her. I was very grieved when she told me. I was about getting up before she finished the story. But she was much worse than me so I sat and listened to her finish it. It was about time has to go to their house (girls` house) with the other s and the mother for the girls house. That night after everything, before, she left I told her that it was a tragedy but that would not destroy our friendship. I told her that I was going to help her deal with the problem and take the hatred out of her heart.

It pained me as well but the Bible teaches us to forgive those who wrong us. So my aim was to help her forgive her memory and those who did that to her. I asked her if she has been diagnosed to see if she was still safe. She told me that honestly she did not tell even her care takers about it. She only got to secure her life here in Kinder Paradise. She has been taken through some tests to show that she had no problem.

After some time together, she asked me a question, she asked me why I haven`t been that remorseful like people use to say. I replied her saying," I guess it is because you know me better than they do." With more time spent together I told her that I had always wished to have her as a friend but by then she was my best friend's girlfriend  and I did not want to get into their way. She laughed when I told her that I was very happy to have her as a friend now. I guessed she understood what I meant that was why she laughed.
   One thing about me was that I never knew how to propose to a girl I did not have that courage to do so. And now I like this girl more than the word like. She knew that I was in love with her, so  how was i going to tell her that i love her. This i had no idea of how to deal with the situation.On the 30th of December 2010; she asked me if I wanted to be her boyfriend. With such an approach I became so astonished to answer and she said," it`s okay if you want to be my boyfriend because I will accept you into my life as more than being just a friend." I couldn`t answer her. i just told her to give me the night to think about it. After that night she assured me that I can be her boyfriend, I went to bed practicing how I would tell her I would not left her think false of me. I kept practicing until I felt very tired and went to sleep. The following day which was the 31st of December 2010, when the girls had come over from the girls` house to have devotion and breakfast as well as spend the day at the boy’s house, I spent time with Arabella. She looked very beautiful and was also nicely dressed up in her favorite dressing code; jean trousers and a cute pinkish baby top. She exposed such glamore that i began to be day dreaming. Even the guys around asked her who she was going to meet that morning. She answered them by saying,' Whoever i 'm dressing for will have to tell me something sweet and nice. Something that will keep my running through the day.

After everything when there was time to talk to each other I called her and spoke to her about the relationship thing. I said, “Arable I know I have been a little coward I should have told you how I felt about you, but I was scared but please forgive me for my imprudence but I still want to tell you that I love you so much and I will not hurt you but keep you as my one and only true friend. i will play my role as a responsible boyfriend who never hurt you like people use to do by cheating on their girlfriends. I will live up your expectation and that which ill be a healthy relationship and a long lasting relationship between us. I promise to love you for whom you are and I will always be there for you.” Then we both promised that we would not make anyone feel bad about the other.

Really and truly for this one I would say that my heart was in this relationship, but problems began to rise not between us but around us. The mothers thought that she was a bad influence to so they spoke to me and told me not to get very involved with her so she won`t lead me astray. I knew and understood them very well but I couldn`t believe the fact that leaving her would solve the problem. So I thought it wise to speak to her to relate well with them so they won`t think she is a devil.

Honestly speaking I knew there was a good side of her hidden but only because she is easily aroused of things that easily get her to become angry and make people think she is not kind and was a bad nut. For me I have always hid to the instructions of my parents not doing really the exact thing but trying to find a way through this life. Even though I was not up to the age of falling in love, I have learnt a lot from not doing the bad things in a relationship and what could arise if I allow myself to be controlled by my feelings. I am a young boy with many aspirations and so I already had a future for this relationship. It was my ordain to make it a healthy one, I prayed to God to help me come out very successful in the relationship not to do things from immense feelings but on his rightful path of the word (the Bible). With time I prayed that anytime I was doing something wrong He should correct me any how He wanted it to be.

God did I guess answer my prayer, I guess I was spending too much time with her than my books, so there was a plan made to send her home. This I did not like but I can`t alter God`s plans. She one day told me that she could not continue her education up to the senior high level so asked her what she wanted to do and she said she would want to go to a vocational school. I spoke to her to think about it very carefully to see if she really wants to go to the vocational school. She came back the next morning with the same answer. Again I spoke to her a lot telling her that she must come out as a victor wherever she finds herself. Two weeks later she told me she was informed that she would be going home, and I told her I already knew of it but the reason why I did not tell her was that I did not want her to be depressed but very strong knowing that in all things God is with her and I would forever love her and pray for her.

After when she has left for the vocational school to pursue her aspiration, I did not sit back doing nothing I also studied very much to make up for the times I wasted. But when it was Fridays I went to visit her at school. The first day she left for school, I was very unhappy I was quite sad that someone who always to comfort in me and was always around me had left. Her absence left a space in my heart for almost a month. It was as though I had lost her forever. Going back to her first day at school, she felt very weary sad. She wasn`t given her pocket money and all that she needed by her, she was given only gari, “shemema” biscuit and a little sugar and a lot of cheese that which she did not like very much. Her very friend who was already in the school but from our place (KP), sent me a message that evening when she wasn`t yet back from school through Diata that, Arabella needed my help very much because she has got anything she desired to be given whiles the others were given to school that faithful morning. She could not eat the dining hall food, and everything given to her to bring to school was that which she was allergic to. And she also did not have any money; so she is pleading on my behalf if I could help her. She even said that she wept very much throughout the day and was missing me that much. When I heard that she cried I was very grieved for she had never cried since I got to know her. She had been the type that was very strong in the heart and mind. On hearing this news I was very touched. So that evening I gave out a sum of Gh₵ 10.00 to be given to her and I wrote a letter to her that same evening telling her that I would be buying her something’s she would be needing to make her feel comfortable. But fortunately for me, (Augustina) the one friend of Arabella, came with the same message and the list of things she would want me to buy. So I collected the list and told her that I would be coming over to the school, but she should not tell her. I also gave her the letter to be given to her as well as the money placed in it; that was on Monday evening.

After school on Friday, I went to melcom at Madina and bought all that was on the list and sent it in person to the school that same day. When I got to the school, she was very happy to see me and I was also happy to meet her. I gave her the items and she was very grateful, I also spoke to her to get used to the new change and she would be very happy. I encouraged her to study very hard and do away with her anger and furiousness, and also make friends. I told her that she should also expect that she would be quarried by her seniors every time but as soon as they see that she is of a good character they would stop and rather like her. I said a lot of things to make her happy and also promised to be there for her whenever she needed me. I promised to love her whiles she was still away from me. I made her understand that being away doesn`t mean one cannot care for each other but it was rather a test to see if one can really keep his or her promises to the other even when the person is away. After some encouragements and kind talks we all brought some funny moments we encountered together when we were still around each other. We also cracked some jokes to make the moments exciting. At around 5:30pm, I knew I was late than my usual time getting home after school each day, but I spent about 30 minutes with her and then we walked up to the school gate and there I gave her a sum of Gh₵ 5.00 to top up the items I bought for her. Then I gave her a hug and she bid me farewell. Then I left for home happy.

That night I slept very well, I was only remembering the time we had together in the day and how much happy I was to have seen her again. I kept visiting her from time to time and she really liked it sometimes I could not give her much but she still understood me. She even told me that when I do not have much for myself I shouldn`t buy anything for her. She seeing me is enough to make her happy and to believe that I was still very cautious of her. She also told me about the frequent changes she began to have from those who did not even like her the first time they saw her. She told me how much she has been loved and cared for by everyone around her. She said it was as if I knew that things would be very comfortable for her. Then she asked me if I was able to foresee someone’s future, and I said,” NO it is just a reality of life that one cannot be in one situation for a longer period.” So when I finally got home that evening, I was very relieved of the fact that she would be very happy with her stay at least, even without my presence around her she would be able to get on well with new friends.

My life went on and on in my day to day execution, I went to school and came back home in relieve but very tired and worn out. Since the day she left to the present, I worried less about her because, I was free minded to do other agendas; like studying, running errands and subjecting myself to duties pertaining to me. Situations changed as time unfolded it. My education on the other hand was very much a yielding success to the home academic expectancy.

6

THE TASK

CHAPTER 6

evey aspect of my life has been written in pieces of notes that i cannot put together. sometimes i am more than just a jerk. but other times i am as soft as a cushion. this part of my life after Arabella had gone is a very crazy one. i always felt lonely and left out in everything. Sometimes i do not fit in the gathering and i was alwsys pointed at for not doing the right thing or being the one to cause the downfall of a group. the thing is my head was not in the game and i was always thinking about Arabella.

Months passed and i visited her frequenly to make sure i was not missing her that much. i always shop and send it to her at school. We would have a long chat about her new environment and end it up by telling her how much i missed her. She would only smile to me and tell me you will always in here--pointing to her heart.. I will go home happy and refreshed. For like four months i was still fighting her absense and i was still visiting her. And i was okay with this act so much. It became a part of me to visit her every two weeks Fridays. A year passed by and i was no longer in that samwe mood but i kept visiting her and spending quality time with her at school. No one knew about this. i kept doing it in secrete until i finally broke the silence to a trusted friend i found in school. I wanted to introduce her to my girlfriend. My friend was by the name Ameena. She is a muslim but a close friend of mine. she was the only person i told my problems since my mum was no longer in the home.

 

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this is not the end of the story it is just a break in time!!!!!!!

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.03.2013

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This book is dedicated to my family and dear friends.