Ho-Ho-Ho...Bleh

 

The Twelve Days of Self-Edits

 

 

On the first day of edits, my readers showed to me

A really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the second day of edits, my readers showed to me

Two dumb clichés and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the third day of edits, my readers showed to me

Three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the fourth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the fifth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the sixth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the seventh day of edits, my readers showed to me

Seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the eighth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Eight POV shifts, seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the ninth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Nine passive uses, eight POV shifts, seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the tenth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Ten grammar no-no’s, nine passive uses, eight POV shifts, seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the eleventh day of edits, my readers showed to me

Eleven contradictions, ten grammar no-no’s, nine passive uses, eight POV shifts, seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

On the twelfth day of edits, my readers showed to me

Twelve thousand typos, eleven contradictions, ten grammar no-no’s, nine passive uses, eight POV shifts, seven hundred adverbs, six comma splices,

Five info dumps!

Four confusing pronouns, three lines of “telling,” two dumb clichés, and a really bad adverbial phrase.

 

~#~#~#~#~#~

 

 

After which I contemplated beating myself senseless with a candy cane...

 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.12.2016

Alle Rechte vorbehalten

Widmung:
Based loosely on "The Twelve Days of Christmas," you can even sing this one!