The Faces of Cancer

By Judy T. Lloyd



When you first hear the words,
"You have cancer." your mind freezes on that word. You have so many reactions to this disease that you wonder if when you will start breathing again.

The following is the people that I met during my Relay For Life walk with cancer. How do you put a face on something that to you is hideous?

How do you reconcile the words chemotherapy,radiation, markers,radical surgery to a child whose parent must go through this walk?

How do you even reconcile the disease to a child who has been given the diagnosis of cancer?

Are the people that you see that appear to be normal on the outside get to see what their cancer looks like?


For years I had tried to figure out all the above questions. I admit that the word cancer was devastating. Along the way, many friends would lose their lives to this disease. Just as many would survive whose stories begged to be told. We would go through denial,trials,and enough tests to write our own medical books. We learned more about cancer than we had truthfully wanted to know. We would jokingly say that were members of the AMA. Some still don't want to know but we do not criticize them. Each survivor and caregiver has to learn how to cope.

You learn to cope by using visualization and other methods of treatment. Prayer is very helpful. Okay I tried all the diets and foods reccomended but found they did little to keep cancer at bay. I do believe in not smoking or drinking. On some occasions though a cold beer helps. Gilda Radnar became very angry when everything she tried failed. For me it was visualizing Scrubbin Bubbles scrubbing away at my tumour. Others may exercise and visualize say Pac Men in their blood stream gobbling the errant cells. I do believe the mind plays an important part of healing.


We would form support groups which one lady called better than Prozac and it was not addictive. However for those who need to calm their nerves I do reccomend that they use tranquilizers. It goes a long way to help deal with the trauma of cancer and the pain. I found that out in 2000 when my cancer had come back for the third time. Pain can be an enemy or it can be a friend, when you take medication to reduce the pain it also reduces your blood pressure.

In the early days my support group sponsored Relay For Life in Richmond,Virginia. It was there that I met Robin Yoder who was the first social worker licensed to deal with cancer patients and their families. Robin is a cancer survivor after having osteo sacoma when she was a child. She survived and dedicated her life to helping others cope with cancer. This is so true of others. So Robin if you ever read this Thank You. During this time we went to Relay For Life events and they were held overnight. They held a Survivor Day and we all could pig out at the feast set before us. Eating is very essential to your treatment once you start to recover.

The hospital that I had treatmenst and surgery was CJW. It is better known as the Johnston Willis campus. My doctor was Dr. Charles Jones a top notch onocologist in women's cancer. My radiologist was Dr. Bernard Tinsley. This group of doctors answered a lot of questions including a picture of what my particular cancer looked like. However I found the best answers came from the nurses and the survivors.

Image if you will a cluster of points that are rubbing against extremely sensitive tissue and just burying itself like a Bot Fly. The difference is once the Bot Fly is discovered it can be killed easily. That is not so true with cancer. Breast cancer appears like a star shaped image on the xrays. I fully recall a childhood friend named Cheryl Kay whose mother died when we were both young from cancer. Cheryl herself would later be diagnosed with breast cancer and she had a double mastectomy. If my cancer came back I would have the same operation.

In the cover photo you see Georgia Pumpkin Arnold, Corene Knicely, Nancye Adkins they are breast cancer survivors. Taylor Finch is also holding the ACS banner well as I. All of them had different surgical proceedures. Corene asked me what I thought about her having a mastectomy. I said to her that it was her decision, but if it was me I would have a mastectomy. Linda Turner another breast cancer survivor who is in the background had a mastectomy. Janine Majesky opted for a lumpectomy and she was fine with that.

You can not really force someone to do a certain type of proceedure. Herndon Jeffreys my "adopted son",former minister and friend whose own mother had both types of surgeries when she had cancer. Unfortunately his mother died as did his father who died of prostate cancer the fall before the Relay. Herndon is goofing off in the picture by pouring water over Paul Knicely.

Taylor Finch is an ten year old that was diagnosed with Leukemia. She is very much a fighting spirit and so therefore we made her our Honorary Chairman. We won the spirit award for team spirit. Taylor is still undergoing treatment and came up with ideas for the Relay. So we celebrate Taylor.

The Chairpersons for our first Relay were Scott Lewis and Melanie Armes. They are in the picture too. Both of them are young,energetic people who have seen too often how cancer affected the people they loved. I was a chairman but the energy that I spent trying to recover from a CRC related surgery was taxing. I am glad these two took over because the job was well done.

All of us who marched down that hill in Nottoway were either survivors or caregivers. Amy Nunnally who is leading us through the gate was the top fund raiser in our group. We were giddy with excitement but determined that we would make the difference in peoples lives in our county. Jennifer Hughes the only paid ACS worker helped to make the event one that goes down in history of Nottoway as the best thing that ever happened.

So we walked and we walked, we sang songs, we listened to the bands and we were overwhelmed by the sheer number of people that came. Yes it was hot. But when the final tally was done we had raised almost three times the amount we set as our goal. The next day volunteers were beginning to plan our next relay.

When I look at the face of cancer I celebrate Doris Vandal Holman, my mentor who encouraged me to write and is a two time cancer survivor.

I see the face of my mother Virginia Alice Pace Tharpe who death occured in 2001. Her face reflected that of my cousin Bruce Eggleston,my aunt Josephine Robinette, my cousin Margaret Williams, brothers Joe and Heywood. There are others in my mother's family. I placed my name in luminary bag. I put the names of my mother and mother-in-law to remember. We all had names in the numerous luminary bags. We walked around to read the names on the bags, there were so many. Little did anyone believe that there could be that many, but there were. There were enough to encircle the huge field plus the bleachers. At night when they were lit was very poignant. There was not a sound and we all shed tears as the words CURE was changed to HOPE.

During the day the caregivers came out to walk. They walked the second lap with us. There were special laps and special memories. Especially the Blackstone Firefighters who walked in the heat in full gear to garner money for the Relay. There are faces who will forever be carved in the marble of our hearts. Faces of love, of courage. Anyone who faces cancer and its complications are courageous. Whether they want to admit that fact, they perserve.

Pumkin Arnold

For years your laughter would ring throughout the church.
The day I heard you cry put my heart into a lurch.
You can joke and love others with the best of us.
It was with great joy that I could call you a friend.
Never do I want the hear the sound of your tears again.
Unless they are tears of joy for a grandchild. Pumpkin we want to stay with us for a long while.

Oh those caregivers had a time with you down at the clinic.
You never let them forget you were not a statistic even for one minute.
You rang the bell for three times well.
That indeed makes my heart swell.

Walk on Pumpkin and you keep that spirit which spilled over into our walk with cancer. You are the reason that they listened when I said we need to do a Relay For Life. I truly do wish that this disease had not come to you but in all things we must glorify God. He has brought us through we will continue to walk the race until there is no race to be run. We celebrate you.

I remember Lacy Ward, a gracious black lady who had cancer in her esophagous. The lady that I would have never met if I had not had cancer, you taught me so much. Like the great teacher you were you told us of the brush altar, the mourning seat among other things. I sent you violet seeds because you were like a rare violet. The day that you died I built a brush altar. It was you that made me want to attend the Survivor's Day in Farmville. I bet you would have laughed at us trying to hand up the banner for the ACS and it was blown over the building. Nevertheless we got it back. Your name joins mine which is inscribed on a bronze plate on the Tree of Life. It still hangs in the lobby.

We celebrate Janine Majesky decided to have an lumpectomy, that too was her decision to make. She is courageous because she made a decision most cancer survivors don't make. We have the tendency to get rid of the tumor quick. When we talked we spoke of how each person is born with the genes for at least six different kinds of cancer. So far Janine has seemed to beat the odds. Her cancer was as small as the period at the end of this sentence. This shows what getting a mammogram can do. I am sure that the others who walked with us have made similiar decisions.

Linda Turner sings in the choir where I go to church now. Her sense of humor and dedication makes her a very good friend. That is one thing we learned that we needed to survive is to have a sense of humor. When you can laugh about the laxatives they give you as prep before surgery, you can laugh about anything. Survivors have a silly sense of humor. Image the reaction on the faces of the choir when one survivor breast appliance fell off and hit the floor? That is a face of cancer. Relay For Life is where you have fun and share stories with each other.

How could we forget each town mayors kissing the pig. The pig was not impressed with two of the mayors which goes to show that a politician can't always sell slop to a pig. Or is it the times but we thank Joe Morrisette,Hank Crittenden and Billy Coleburn for their gracious participation. They are the pictures of those who are caring and caregivers. Billy Coleburn was very helpful in taking pictures of the event and keeping everyone informed. His father is a survivor.

If asked who has been affected by cancer, the answer would be is there anyone who hasn't been. You will see even before you read this that one in three people will either have cancer of have a relative with cancer. So you too are the face of cancer.

Cancer is a disease composed of over one hundred other diseases. There are many forms of cancer. Breast cancer is one that is often talked about but other cancers occur just as rampantly and sometimes we do not know what started the gene that turned into cancer. Corene Knicely for example was very active in church and worked a lot with EMAUS. After Hurricane Katrina struck New Orleans she went down with others to help feed the stricken. Corene came back with what they term "the Katrina Cough" Not long after that she discovered that she had breast cancer. She also had lung cancer as for why her at this particular time no one knows. She is also the face of cancer.

You would think well good people don't get sick this way. That has always been a serious bone of contention with me. I was once asked.
"What did you do wrong that you got cancer."
"I do not know but I do know that I will go to prison if you ever dare speak to me again." Unfortunately that person died from cancer which I regret.
But consider Doris Vandal Holman that is Dr. Vandal Holman who is a retired school teacher and Cumberland County Rescue Squad Volunteer along with the fact she is an National Chaplain who works with the Red Cross. She is both a lady and a tiger. She has counseled more people and helped them than I can count. She is a survivor and hers is the face of cancer. I say lady because she can baptize a baby and hold the hand of the dying with compassion. She is a tiger and if you think that she suffers fools lightly you are mistaken. Just watch her when someone dares to hurt one of her natural children and the many children she holds in her heart.

I remember Mrs. Annie Wright a ninty-eight year old lady who died while I was her caregiver of brain cancer. Mrs. Wright loved to play her organ and even played after she was sick. Her son had put it in her room in his home but she could not play the last days of her life. The Hospice nurse and I sang to her favorite song entitled "I Know I Have Been Sealed To The Day Of Redeemption." She lifted her fingers to air play the song as she was dying. I know she was sealed to the day of redeemption too. She was the face of cancer.

There were those of us who remembered Swan Boswell,Mrs. Sally Wingo, Lisa Morris, Hucky,Wayne Rickman and so many others who lived in Nottoway and sadly died of cancer. It seemed so unfair but then I do not know of anything that is fair.

When you ask what is the face of cancer, look around you and you will see it. You will see it in the mother,the army officer,the child and you will see it in the eyes of those who deal with and fight cancer everyday.

You will see it on the faces of those on the front cover and you will see it on the faces of the famous and not so famous. This year Farrah Fawcett,Ted Kennedy,Patrick Swayze died from cancer. Yet the race goes on and we continue to walk the walks praying as we go. We pray that next year there won't be new faces walking.

The reality is we will see them, but more and more these days the survivors are celebrating birthdays. I survived my 61st birthday. While there were others in my family that did not, I will walk. I will walk as long as one person is told that they have cancer. Many others have walked the path before me and they perserved. Many have left carbon footprints of their life, but none were the lesser. We will walk for those whose faces we will not see at the next Relay For Life.

Would I Have Walked Differently

By Judy T. Lloyd

Would I have walked differently than I did today?
In my heart there are so many words I liked to say.
Would I have walked with giants instead of mere men?
I have walked with giants who were men and would do so again.

Would I have walked while others mourn?
I will walk because of him that was born.
He walked a different path to save us.
Would I have walked differently had I Known?

I believe that I would have walked no different than today.
I would have walked by myself just to say.
I would not walk differently had I known.
I would have walked even if no son had shone.

Yes I would have walked the same way because
of what you did today.
I would have walked laughing and crying all the way.
I would have walked and then kneel to pray.

To those that ever walk in a Relay For Life and to those that walked with us on June 14, 2009 the path is still there. Many names will be on bricks to remember them and to honor others. To those that are planning a Relay For Life in your community, I commend you.

WE WALK FOR LIFE

WE ARE THE FACES OF CANCER.

Light The Candle

By Judy T. Lloyd

Oh dear Lord before I go to bed tonight.
Let me light a candle so bright.
One to shine for those have gone before.
One to shine to open the door.
For each candle has a name.
We have only to see them in the flame.

Impressum

Texte: I reserve exclusive rights to this book and I give publishing rights to BookRix.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.12.2009

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Widmung:
I dedicate this book to all of the Nottoway County Relay For Life teams,survivors,caregivers who made the Relay work,