Copyright

The characters and events in this book are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons alive or dead is entirely coincidental.

 

Copyright 2018 Jess Wygle

Preface

Her hands shook as she fixed the blade between her finger and thumb. She shook with fear. Fear she’d be caught before she could get it done. Her eyes stung from the mascara that was now tracking down her cheeks in sludgy, tear-laden trails. Her naked body shivered against the cold of the bathroom tile, her shoulders sagged, her heart raced. She stared at the spot. The thin skin of her wrist that did little to hide the life-pumping veins beneath. Her pulse throbbed visibly. She gulped hard, wiped her running nose with her forearm, then strategically placed the blade.

She squeezed her eyes closed, mentally reminding herself why it had to be done. She had searched for another escape, for another way out, but there were none. This was her last and only option. She was painfully and tragically alone. She was a prisoner in more ways than one, and this blade was the key to her freedom.

With her fingers still clasping the blade tightly, she pushed the sharpened metal into her flesh. When she felt the skin pop, she pulled down swiftly and with intent, cutting long and deep. She gasped in pain as the blade clinked on the floor. Blood spouted quickly and proficiently from the wound. She sobbed harder, dropping her arms to her sides. A great crimson pool formed around her, warming her chilled skin.

She could hear him on the other side of the door now, calling her name, knocking. She didn’t call back. Her head felt light and her body felt heavy. Her breathing slowed and she suddenly felt very tired. It was a numb, peaceful kind of tired she'd never before felt, but it was welcomed. The pain she'd been carrying in her heart for as long as she could remember seemed like a fleeting nightmare in that moment.

His knocking turned to pounding and his calling turned to shouting. She could hear him fumbling with the knob. And as she drifted, she could hear his entire body colliding with the door, pleading in desperation. She slowly closed her eyes and succumbed to the darkness.

It was over.

2010 - Olivia

 

 

 

 

 

I was stuck. I was stuck in a job that I loved but held me back from doing what I had always envisioned myself doing. I studied marketing for four long years. That was where I wanted to be. But now, almost seven years later, so many opportunities have passed me by. I've become something completely different than the person I'd worked so hard to become.

I was a nanny.

It was initially just a way for me to make money while I was in between jobs. The Washburn’s, Brad and April, along with their three daughters, Stella, Darby, and Harlow, they mean more to me than just business; just part of my job. They’re all part of my life, part of who I am, which makes it so much harder for me to make an exit plan. I love them all more than I should. I wove myself into the fabric of their lives. I can feel they’ve done the same to me, either consciously or unconsciously. Regardless, we’re all in the same boat now, wondering when it will all end. Not one of us wanting to step foot on dry land.

I pulled into the Calabasas drive promptly at 6:30am, just as I did every morning. I parked my Toyota in front of the third garage stall, a stall that is vacant except for the myriad of outdoor toys, bikes, and sports equipment. Normally, Brad’s Mercedes is parked here. He works early and until late in the evening as an executive with a global manufacturing company, so we don’t usually cross paths.

I locked my car and walked around to the side garage door, unlocking it with my key. A sensor light came on when I entered. I locked the door behind me. Once inside, I was greeted to a quiet home, the only time of day when the house is virtually still. April has been up for a while, I presumed. The kitchen smelled of fresh coffee and her laptop was open and glowing on the kitchen island.

I hung my purse from a hook in the mudroom and headed toward the stairs. At the top, a set of closed double doors was where April was undoubtedly preparing for her busy work day, though I heard nothing coming from the other side.

I looked right and see Stella’s bathroom light on. I could hear the faucet running. Stella, the fourth-grader, was the first of the Washburn girls to fill my heart. She was a very determined and motivated child, taking after her mother in so many ways. She preferred to be punctual and presentable. An old soul.

I turned to the left and entered the darkened room of Darby. She was the feisty, odd-ball of the family. A middle child through and through. I flicked on her closet light, sending a beam right across Darby’s bed. “Good morning, Bee Bee. It’s time to get up,” I cooed in Darby's ear, rubbing her back. The girl stirred, stretching and pulling against the cocoon of blankets she created for herself.

“I thought it was Saturday,” the girl groaned between yawns.

“Nope. It’s only Thursday.”

Darby scoffed the way an adolescent does best, burying her head into her pillow. It’s not that she didn’t want to go to school, it’s that she didn’t want to get out of bed. She could sleep the entire day away if allowed.

“I’m going to go wake up your sister. Please be out of bed and getting dressed when I come back in.” I give her a small pat on her bottom before leaving the room and moving across the hall into another darkened room.

Little miss Harlow is still sound asleep in her bed, knees tucked under her chest and her tiny little diapered butt poking up in the air. I scooped her up and pulled her to my chest. Harlow slowly wrapped her arms around my neck and legs around my waist. I moved into the rocking chair in the corner and rocked with her for a moment, allowing her to wake up slowly.

The pace of my morning only quickened from that point. I dressed Harlow and had to approve or disapprove of Darby’s outfit of choice. I got all three girls downstairs for breakfast, packed their lunches, got shoes on all six feet, and piled them into the family’s GMC. It was a system we had perfected.

Once the older two girls were at school, Harlow and I spend the day together. Being a private nanny, my precise job description was never really pinned down by my employers, so I do a bit more than just nannying. I do light house cleaning, some cooking, I run errands for the family and take the kids to doctor’s appointments when needed. I’ve packed bags for the girls for vacations. I've even attended vacations with the family. I don’t mind helping out where and when I'm needed. I kind of became a universal helper within the Washburn family.

When we got back to the house, I was surprised to see Brad's car parked in the garage. I immediately think something is wrong. It’s not like him to be home in the middle of the day. Harlow and I walked into the kitchen. Both Brad and April were talking around the kitchen island. They both turned and greeted us as we entered. Harlow practically jumped out of my arms to get to her father.

“Hey, Olivia,” Brad said, picking up the excited toddler.

“Good morning,” I replied. “You’re home early.”

Brad nodded, kissing Harlow on her pudgy cheek. “Yeah I’ve got a bit of a crisis to deal with in Manila. We're actually glad we caught you.”

I looked from Brad to April. “Oh no, is everything okay?”

“We had a fire at one of our plants there,” Brad started. “It was pretty bad. We lost a few workers, unfortunately, and the building itself is a total loss. It’s a huge mess and I need to be on the ground to ensure the transition and the clean up and everything goes smoothly. I could be gone for a month, maybe two.”

“Oh wow. Okay,” I said. It wasn't unusual for Brad to go away for extended period of times. A lot of the locations he managed were overseas. Usually, the trips were planned weeks, if not months in advance, though.

“And I’ve got that Dunbar case that I need to be in San Francisco for this week,” April added. “So, we were hoping you’d be able to stay at the house for a couple nights this week and possibly more. It will depend on the status of the case and when Brad will be back stateside?”

“Oh, absolutely. I’m happy to help out however I can," I replied without hesitation.

April sighed heavily. “Oh, you are a lifesaver. I’m so sorry we sprung this on you with such short notice, but thank you. We appreciate your flexibility. That takes a huge weight off our shoulders.”

“It's no problem. I don't have anything going on.," I said. I usually didn't have much of anything going on. My life revolved around the Washburns. "Was the fire accidental?” I asked.

Brad shrugged, setting Harlow down. The little girl skittered off into the other room. “There hasn’t been any kind of report yet. It’s likely it was, but we’ve had all those problems with the workers, it wouldn’t surprise me if it was arson. It’s really a tossup at this point. We have IT working to get the security footage uploaded for evidence.” He pulled out his cell phone while he was talking and absentmindedly scrolled, a quirk possessed by both Mr. and Mrs. Washburn.

“And I’m guessing you’re leaving as soon as possible?”

Brad nodded, still keeping his eyes on his phone. “Yes, I’m just checking to see when I have to be at the airport. Would you be able to take me?” he asked me.

“Sure thing.”

Brad and April both went off to pack for their trips while I kept Harlow entertained with a book reading session. When Brad was ready, I packed Harlow into her seat while Brad loaded his bags in the back. The trip to the airport was filled with Harlow jabbering incoherently and Brad talking frantically on his phone.

Harlow threw a brief fit upon realizing her father was leaving. I was able to squash it by using my secret weapon. Stickers. Harlow wiped her own tears away before accepting the sheet of metallic stickers of Disney princesses. She proceeded to stick them to her arms as I made my way towards Burbank. “We’re going to stop at my house before we go home, okay?”

“Why?” Harlow asked. A sticker of Cinderella was now stuck to her cheek.

“Well, I am going to stay at your house for a few nights, so I need to get some clothes.”

“Stay at my house?”

“Yeah,” I replied with an enthusiastic nod.

“Stay in my room?”

“I will probably sleep in the spare room. The room I usually stay in when I’m at your house, you know, just at the bottom of the stairs?”

“No. Olee sleep with me,” Harlow protested.

I smirked. The moniker 'Olee' came from Stella and was passed down to both of her younger sisters. And even though all three girls are fully capable of pronouncing Olivia properly, they prefer to call me Olee. And it didn’t bother me in the least.

When we got to my house, Harlow raced me to the front door. She won, naturally, and waited impatiently for me to unlock the door. Once unlocked, she stormed inside and raced for the kitchen where my beta fish, Gill, swam lazily in his bowl. “Take Gill to Low Low house?” Harlow asked, propping herself up on the step stool to get a better view.

“You know, I bet Gill would love to come, but he gets really car sick. Let’s just feed him before we leave and maybe we’ll come back in a few days to feed him again.”

I rationed out food for Harlow to feed Gill while I went to my room and packed a bag. When Harlow grew bored of the fish, she joined me in my room, jumping on my bed for a brief minute and then stuffing her tiny feet into each one of the shoes in my closet.

"Alright, girlfriend, let's get out of here," I said, zipping up my duffle bag. "We'll have to go get your sisters from school soon."

Outside, my neighbor, Shelby, waved. She was getting her mail as we made our way to the car. “Hey, Harlow. What are you two doing?”

“Mommy and Daddy go bye-bye. Olee sleep at Low Low house.”

“Oh really?” Shelby said, stopping alongside my car. “You’re moving in? For how long?” Shelby asked me as I tossed my bag into the back seat.

“The week, at least, but it could be longer,” I said.

“Well shoot, I was going to come over and watch Grey’s with you tonight.” Shelby offered me the closest thing to a social life I've had in years. She suffered from Lupus and worked from home, therefore didn't get out much, just like me. We spent most nights together, usually at my house as she spent all day in hers. And when we did get out, it was almost always with the other person. "Is everything okay with them?" she asked of April and Brad.

I nodded. “Yeah, just work stuff that came up suddenly. Could you just keep an eye on the place for me? I’ll be back to feed Gill in a few days.”

“Absolutely,” Shelby said. She didn’t stick around to talk for too long. The sun was now one of her enemies and needed to get back inside. She gave Harlow a high five before departing. After a quick potty break, Harlow and I were back on the road and heading towards Calabasas. 

“Okay, Stella does not have volleyball on Thursday, so I crossed that off of the calendar for you,” April explained when Harlow and I got back to their house. April’s bags were packed and sitting beside the back door. “Harlow was supposed to have her teeth cleaned on Friday, but I’m going to reschedule. I’ll spare you that nightmare. And Brad’s friend recently updated our security system, so if it isn’t working for one reason or another, I left his card for you to call. I also left you the number to the hotel I’m staying at just in case you need me and can’t reach me on my cell. My flight info is there, too. Okay, am I forgetting anything?”

April looked at me and I was smiling. “I think we will be perfectly fine. I don’t want you to worry," I assured her.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it," April said. "I just feel like we sprung this on you. I didn’t really have any time to prepare to leave you with the kids. I woke up this morning thinking Brad would be here with them while I’m gone. I feel like I’m forgetting something.”

“You can just text me if you think of it. I promise, it’ll be alright,” I continued to reassure her. “I’ve been here long enough. I know how things go. Don’t worry about us.”

“Okay, well I’ve got to go. I’ll call the girls when I get settled in tonight. Thanks again, Olivia. I don’t know where we would be without you.”

Harlow lost her composure once again after kissing her mother good-bye, but I was able to calm her with a car ride to pick up her sisters.

2018 - Olivia

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stuffing random belongings in my travel bag, I stole a glance in the mirror at my own reflection. My eyes were bloodshot and overflowing with tears. My battered cheek was swelling and already starting to bruise. A blood vessel in my eye had broken. A thin crack striped my lip where the skin had broken. My head throbbed with each beat of my frantic, broken heart.

My shaking hands had hastily filled a single duffle bag. I didn’t want to take any more than I needed. I heard a honking downstairs. The cab was here.

I took one last quick look around the room. I worked to swallow the lump in my throat. How could this be happening? We were so happy, but I had been so blind. Part of me felt as if I let this happen. I ran my fingertips over the comforter laying perfectly over our bed before scooping up the bag and sweeping out of the room.

On the kitchen counter, I had left my cell phone, wiped clean and reset to factory settings, my credit cards, my car keys, and my wedding ring. A ring he had given me when committing himself to me, to our furture. Now, it meant something else. Lies. It was all lies. I ripped a piece of paper off the small notepad in the drawer and jotted a quick note before heading for the door.

I hesitated at the threshold of the front door. Was I doing the right thing? Was I being too brash? Had I taken enough time to consider all my options? Have I seen things from every possible angle? Was there any way I would regret this?

The car horn outside snapped me back to reality. I sucked in a gulp of air before shutting the door behind me. It was as if I was shutting the door on my past. I silently wished I would never come back here ever again.

“Where to?” the driver asked after the suitcases had been secured in the trunk.

I sighed heavily. “The Omni please,” I replied quietly. 

We drove along the coast, headed for the City of Angels. “Looks like there’s a storm coming in,” the driver noted. The waves were striking the shoreline hard and the water looked dark, almost possessed with an oncoming rage. The wind whipped the palms and the top layer of sand. The clouds rolled in menacingly and the scent of earth was in the air.

Mother Nature wasn’t the only one stirring up a storm.

2010 - Olivia

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You’re standing on my toe.”

“Shove over then!”

“I was here first.”

“I told you I was coming. You just cut in front of me.”

Stella and Darby had been at each other’s throats since they got home from school and finding out their parents had both left town without notice. Stella was not impressed that her mom had forgotten to get a present for her friend's birthday before leaving town. And even though I told Stella I would help her go shopping for the gift, she was still upset about it. Darby had been working with her dad on her multiplication table and she was being tested on it the next day. She wanted one more night to practice with him. So, they were taking out their frustrations on each other, and in doing so, they were taking them out on me.

Harlow seemed to be the only one excited that I was staying at the house for the week. She brought down all the stuffed animals from her bedroom and put them on the spare room bed. She was afraid I’d be lonely at night. What she was actually doing was attempting to secure her spot in my bed. She thought she was being sneaky about it, too.

“Low, you can lay in here with me, but you have to sleep in your own bed tonight, okay?” I reminded her. It took some persuading, but we came to an agreement.

By night three of me staying with the girls, things had simmered down and we fell into our normal routine fairly effortlessly. The girls all agreed that I make better enchiladas than their mother and we made a habit of breaking into spontaneous dance while we all brushed our teeth. 

“I don’t know how you do it,” Shelby said on the other end of the phone. It was nearly 10pm, but it felt much later than that. The house was still and the girls were all sleeping. I was draped across the bed in the spare room, drained physically and mentally.

“It could be much worse,” I replied. “The girls are all really good girls. They're well-behaved and respectful. Don't get me wrong, they have their moments, but everyone does.”

“But you’re with them all day and all night," Shelby groaned. "Doesn’t that get old after a while? I mean there is literally no break. You're on the job 24/7 right now.”

I sighed. “It’s not that bad. I have this time right now. I have nap time when Harlow asleep. I'm not doing anything differently than a single mom would have to endure."

Shelby scoffed on the other end. “You're not their mother, though. They're your job. What you’re doing isn’t working. It’s more like a lifestyle you get paid for.”

I chuckled. “Well, listen, if I’m still here on Monday, you can come over here to watch Grey’s with me.”

“Deal. Call me tomorrow, though. I’m not a huge fan of losing out on our weekly wine-and-complain time.”

I chuckled again. “Will do. Later.”

“Bye.”

I set my phone down on the nightstand and rubbed my face, kneading the exhaustion out of my pores with my palms. In all honesty, I did miss my freedoms at times. This job did have a way of making me feel trapped, but I would never admit it aloud. I would never breathe life into the idea. I wasn’t unhappy, but I was lonely and tired.

On the other side of things, I knew I wouldn’t get these opportunities much longer, so I tried to keep my eye on the brighter side of things. Someday I will be stuck in the rat race, in a cubicle, in front of a computer screen, tethered to my cell phone, and I will miss these days. Days filled with sippy cups and homework and grocery shopping and the unrelenting stubbornness of young girls and the beauty of spontaneity. Someday, I will long for this again.

I crept up the stairs of the quiet house and checked in on each girl. To my surprise, Stella was still awake in her bed with a book on her lap and a head lamp around her forehead. “You’re still up?” I gasped on a whisper. “Can you please put the book down and get some sleep?”

“I only have two more chapters and then I’m done. I won’t be able to sleep if I don’t know how it ends,” she pleaded.

I sighed with a weak smile. “Okay, but as soon as you read the last word, it’s lights out, deal?”

Stella agreed to my compromise and I shut the door. Darby's sleeping body was nearly hanging off her bed when I poked my head in her room. I corrected her and was pleased I could do so without waking her. Harlow was on her back, arms up by her head, sleeping soundly while stars illuminated by her night light spun slowly on her ceiling.

I padded down the stairs and back into the spare room. I shut the door, turned off the lights, and clicked on the TV. I cocooned myself in the covers and turned the volume down to a whisper, creating the perfect atmosphere for me to drift off to sleep.

Siren.

Alarm.

The alarm was going off. I shot straight up in my bed and then sprang to my feet, disoriented. I didn’t know what time it was or how long I’d been sleeping, but I knew the alarm meant someone was either trying to get into the house or they were already in the house.

I ran to the door of the spare room and pulled it open before halting. I spun around and grabbed my phone when I heard cries coming from upstairs. I skipped every other step on my way up to the second floor. Stella was standing in her doorway rubbing her eyes. “What’s going on?” she asked me sleepily.

“Go into Harlow’s room,” I said, nudging her in that direction. I opened Darby’s door. The girl was sitting on her bed crying. I scooped her up and ran her into Harlow’s room, shutting and locking the door behind me. Stella was standing awkwardly in the middle of the room still rubbing her eyes. Darby was sobbing into my shoulder and Harlow was jumping in her bed.

“Okay, listen,” I said, pulling Darby away from my chest. “Everything is okay. I’m right here. We’re all together. Calm down. I have to make a call, okay? Just sit here for one minute.”

I set Darby on the edge of Harlow’s bed. I lifted my phone and started to dial 911 when the phone started ringing. It was Brad. “Hello?”

“Hey, I got an alert that the house alarm was going off. Are you guys okay? Everyone alright?” Brad asked frantically.

“Yes, we’re all in Harlow’s room. I’ve got the door locked. I’m not sure what’s going on.”

I heard Brad sigh in relief. “The side door to the garage was opened," he explained quickly. "Callem will be coming to check on you and the police have been alerted. They’re on their way. Do not leave that room until I call you again, okay?”

“Okay.” Brad disconnected the call and I was left with more questions than I had before he called. I sat down next to Darby and pulled Harlow onto my lap. Stella had found a seat on the rocker. “That was your Daddy. He says he is so glad we’re all okay and he wants us to stay here until someone comes to help us.”

“Who’s coming? Darby asked. “Is Daddy coming?”

“No, Daddy is really far away. He’s sending someone else to come into the house and to make sure we’re all safe.”

“Why wouldn’t we be safe?” Darby asked, tears still streaked down her eyes.

“Because someone tried to break into the house,” Stella said dismissively.

I sighed. “We don’t know that,” I said quickly, hoping to extinguish any fires of fear in Darby before they could grow too big. “It could just be a false alarm. Your mom said this system was new and maybe it just went off by accident. We don’t know yet. But just to make sure it’s nothing, we’re going to have some people come over and check on us and turn the alarm off, okay?”

Darby didn’t answer. I shot Stella a look of disapproval that she dismissed even easier than she had dismissed her frightened sister.

We sat for nearly forty minutes. The whole time, I was conjuring up a game plan in the event that someone was actually in the house and tried to break into the room before police got there. There wasn't much I could do to keep the girls safe in that room, but prepping myself for the worst case scenario and arming myself with a plan was better than just sitting on my thumbs.

I held the girls tight, praying it wouldn’t come to that. Finally, my cell phone rang again, but it wasn’t Brad, it was a number I didn’t know. “Hello?”

“Hi, this is Callem Tate. I’m outside the house and I will be disconnecting the alarm in a moment. Please do not come out of the room until I’ve had a chance to look through the house. I will knock on the door four times and identify myself when it is safe for you to exit.”

“Okay. Thank you.” The call was disconnected. A moment later, the alarm turned off, leaving a ringing in my ears.

“All done,” Harlow whispered.

Stella, who had fallen back to sleep in the rocker, opened her eyes and sat up. “Does that mean I can go back to bed?”

“No, not yet. They’re working on the alarm and don’t want us to come out because we could accidentally set it off again,” I fibbed in order to avoid creating unnecessary worry. “They’ll come get us when it’s okay to go out, okay? Just hang tight. Not much longer.”

A few moments later, I saw the hallway light come on from under the door. I listened as doors opened and footsteps moved from room to room. After another couple of minutes, I heard four knocks at Harlow’s door and a man’s voice. “This is Callem Tate. You can come out now.”

I stood up and opened the door. I smiled at Callem. “Thank you so much, but please don’t say anything in front of the girls,” I whispered quickly.

Callem nodded and stepped aside to let Stella pass. Stella made a beeline for her bedroom and shut the door without saying a word. Darby ran from Harlow’s bed and clung to my leg. She, unlike her older sister, was shaken by the event. Harlow began taking toys off her shelf to start playing with.

“Um, I’ll meet you downstairs.” Callem could clearly see I had my hands full at the moment.

I put Harlow to bed first after we picked up the mess she made. Darby was a little more difficult. I had to sit with her for a few minutes before she was comfortable enough to allow me to leave. I checked in on Stella and she was already fast asleep. Success.

Downstairs, all the lights were on in the house. Two uniformed officers stood in the kitchen with Callem as well as Pete, one of the security guards from the neighborhood. I looked around the great room, looking for imperfections or a void where an item once had been, but everything appeared to be in place. Approaching the group of men, I suddenly felt very exposed. I was in a pair of small shorts and an oversized sweater that hung off my shoulder, not to mention the fact that I was without a bra.

The two officers were the first to address me. Pete stood off to the side, halfway including himself in the situation while Callem was engrossed in the laptop he had brought and set up on the kitchen island. “It appears one of your neighbors wandered into your house by accident,” the first officer explained.

“This isn’t my house. I’m just the sitter,” I explained.

The officer nodded. “Well, he was a little intoxicated and mistook this house for his own. He must have thought he was locked out and threw a rock through the window in your side garage door, triggering the alarm. He made it all the way into the living room where he passed out on the couch. We don’t suspect any foul play or that you were in any danger, but you did the right thing nonetheless.”

I sighed. “That is somehow relieving, but a little scary at the same time. He got in pretty easily.”

The officers both nodded. “You have the option to press charges, if you’d like.”

I shook my head. “I’m not the homeowner.”

The second officer stepped in. “You don’t necessarily have to be. You’re residing here at the moment and if you felt threatened or attacked in anyway, you have the right to press charges.”

I shook my head again. “No, no, it was a misunderstanding. I’m sure the homeowners will want to be reimbursed for any damages, but I’m not going to press charges. There's no need. The kids are fine. I’m fine. I’m thankful that you all responded so quickly.”

The first officer nodded. “We’ll be taking him in on public intox so he won’t be in the neighborhood for a couple of hours. No threat of a repeat tonight.”

The officers

Impressum

Verlag: BookRix GmbH & Co. KG

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 23.07.2018
ISBN: 978-3-7438-7584-5

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