Chapter 1
Prologue- This can’t be happening to me. Why does this always happen to the people I love? Why?
Chapter 2
Carrie and I were lying on the bed, bored out of our minds. “What should we do?” I asked. “Uh, I don’t know… Hey, isn’t John having a party tonight?” She asked.
“Yeah.” I replied. “Well then, come on!! Get yo lazy ass off of that bed and lets go get ready!” she yelled as she jumped off the bed.
I laughed, and walked into my walk- in closet. “Hmph. What should I wear?” I asked her, since she’s the fashionista. She walked over to where I was standing. “Hmm. OOH! I KNOW! You should wear this!” she exclaimed. She had picked out some bootie shorts, black fishnet tights, a black tight shirt, some black Converse, and a plain black hoodie. Yeah, I like black, she knows me so much.
My name is Kristen and I’m 18 years old. Right now, it’s Sunday. Thank goodness, I hate school. You have to choose the right group to hang out, or else you’re a loner. Carrie over there, hangs out with the ‘in’ crowd. She’s probably the only non- stuck up person in the group.
We met in kindergarten. I was being bullied by a snobby rich girl, and at that time, her family was poor, and she was gorgeous. She still is. She walked up to the snobby girl, and pushed her away. “Stop it! That’s mean!” she had said. And we were best friends ever since.
I know I’m the kind of person who strikes you as emo, and I am. Cassie was the exact opposite.
She’s bright, sweet, caring, and popular. I guess the only reason I was accepted into the ‘in’ crowd was because of her. And because she refused to let me go. She’s one of those people who everyone liked.
So the other people had no choice but to accept me. But I see them look at me like I’m a freak.
Which I guess I am too. Cassie had light blond hair. So light, it looks white. She’s about 5’3 , she Scottish, and had a perfect tan.
I have jet black hair, chopped into short layers, done by yours truly. I put it up in a bun most of the time. The other times, I let it hang in my face. I’m 5’7 and I’m all- American. My skin is pale white, I don’t bother getting tans, I think they’re a waste of time. I have brown eyes, Cassie had bright blue eyes. I painted my nails black, she did her nails yellow. She just has that really bubbly personality.
We walked down the stairs and she grabbed the keys. We got in her car and she drove to John’s house.
By the time we got there, it was around 8. and the party was already loud and packed.
Cassie and I walked into the house and passed a bunch of people passed out on the lawn, the couches, you name it.
The people who weren’t passed out or vomiting their brains out, were either dancing their butt off, chugging beer, playing pool, or making out in a corner. A typical teenage scene, if you ask me. This isn’t my scene at all though; I would rather be sitting at home, reading a book and listening to music or something.
I looked around, trying to find Cassie, but she was nowhere to be found. Great, not I’m going to walk around with nothing to do. I should probably go home. I turned towards the door, but then I remembered that Cassie was my ride. I sighed and looked at the ground , trying to avoid attention. I also had a couple of shots. I started stumbling, and ended up walking into the schools biggest bully.
“Hey, watch it bitch!” he yelled, pushing me to the ground. “Dude, isn’t that Cassie’s friend?” one of his friends asked. “Shit, it is!” he gasped as Cassie stumbled into the circle that formed around the bully, his friend, and I.
She looked at me on the ground and her eyes widened. She turned to the bully, “Matt, did you do this to her?” she slurred while pointing a wobbly finger at me. She didn’t let him answer and turned to me, “Did he do this to you?”
I opened my mouth to answer, but my brain as all foggy. “You know what? Imma deal with you tomorrowwaah. I’m tired. Leggo Kris, c’mon.” she yawned.
“Dude, she let you go!” someone in the crowd yelled, surprised. She once beat a guy up, broke his nose, and sent him to the hospital. Just for slapping me and calling me names. And lemme tell ya, he weighed a ton and she didn’t even get a scratch.
She grabbed my hand, and we both stumbled out the door.
Chapter 3
I knew I should’ve driven us both home because I was less drunk than her, but she insisted that she drove.
Her eyes were half closed, but when they closed, she would jerk herself awake.
Neither of us saw it coming. One moment the intersection was clear, and free of cars, and the next, the truck crashed into us, hitting the driver’s side. The force of the truck was so hard; the car tumbled to its side. None of us had our seatbelts on either. Cassie turned to me, her head was so bloody, and I could barely see it.
She gave me a weak smile.
And that was the last thing a saw before I fell into a deep pool of blackness.
Chapter 4
Pain. I felt it everywhere, everywhere but my left arm. I lay there, and it all came crashing to me. The party. The truck. The accident. Cassie.
“No, no. NO!” I yelled. I twisted and turned frantically. I squeezed my eyes shut, “No. CASSIE!” I sat up really fast, causing my whole body pain. My eyes were blurry, but I could hear someone calling my name and telling me it’s ok and gently laying me back onto the bed. As my vision cleared up, I saw that the person was my mom. I was in a hospital. “Mom, where’s Cassie?” I asked. Her eyes welled up with tears, she covered her mouth and shook her head. My eyes widened, “NO! This can’t be happening! Not her too! No!” The monitor started beeping like crazy, and doctors rushed in the room. “Ma’am, I’m afraid you’re going to have to leave.” the doctor said in a soft, but firm voice. My mother nodded and walked out of the room.
I lie there, gasping for breath, and tried to calm my nerves down. My heart ached, and it felt like someone stabbed me there. “We’re going to have to keep you here over night.” The doctor said. I just nodded my head.
My eyes started stinging, as tears rolled down the side of my face. I turned my body so that it was facing the window. “Poor girl. She’s gone through a lot.” a nurse said. “Yes, I know.” Another said. I tuned out and stared out the window, and fell asleep.
Chapter 5
The next time I woke up, my mom was asleep beside my bed. She looked so young, and innocent. If I didn’t know her, I would’ve thought she was only 32, and living her dreams. But I do know her, she’s really 46, and I know how much pain she’s been through. She tries her best to suck it up, for my sake, but I hear her crying herself to sleep every night.
I slowly push myself up to a sitting position, trying not to wake her up. I do though, and she lifts her head up and looked at me. “Honey…”
“I’m ok mom, don’t worry about me.”
“You’re all that I have left! I have to worry about you!” she said, I could tell this was going to turn into an argument. I didn’t feel like yelling at someone, so I just layed back down and fell asleep.
When I woke up, my mom was shaking me awake. “C’mon sweetie, the doctor said you’re free to go.” I silently got up and walked to the car.
I opened the door and sat down. My mom started the car and drove to our house. We drove in silence and I stared out the window, thinking about how unfair it is for Cassie to die. Why does it have to be her! It could’ve been me. It should’ve been me. I should’ve been driving, instead of her. This is all my fault! My mom looked at the rearview mirror with a sad face.
Chapter 6
The next few weeks was hell. People pointed and laughed. They stared at me and whispered behind their books. I mean, this happens all the time, but before, I had Cassie. Now I don’t have anyone. She was my only friend, now she’s gone. When I walk into class, everyone turns and look at me. When I eat lunch, I don’t have anywhere to go. The pops (popular people) kicked me out of their group, I don’t really care. But all the tables are full; none would let me sit at their tables anyway. So I went outside. All the tables were also full. I skipped lunch that day.
It’s been 2 months since Cassie died, and all the kids wouldn’t stop bullying me. I had enough. Enough of the bullying, enough of the stares and the whispers. Enough of Florida.
I came home with an egg covered car, and I was crying. I walked through the door and my mother ran up to me, “Kristen! Honey, what happened?” I didn’t answer her and ran upstairs. Later that night, she walked in my room and sat on my bed. My back was to her, but I turned so I was facing her. “I’m sorry about your car.” She said, rubbing my back. My eyes and nose stung, then tears fell. “Mom, I can’t take it anymore. I have to get away. The teasing, the whispers. I can’t take it anymore!” I bursted. She sighed, and she looked like she was deciding between letting it be, or doing something about it. “What do you want to do?” she finally asked. “Can I just go away for a while?” I asked. She closed her eyes and sighed, “Okay. Where do you want to go?”
“Anywhere."
Chapter 7
I spent the whole night packing my stuff. While I was doing that, my mom was making arrangements for my flight to California.
I looked at my bag. I keep on thinking that I'm forgetting something... Eh, whatever. I walked over to my table and grabbed a couple thousand bucks. Oh yeah, my mom's a multi- millionare. None knows about that except for Cassie. I closed my eyes, trying not to cry. I blew out a breath and fell on my bed. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.
The next morning, I woke up to my mom shaking me. I groaned and turned over. "Honey, you're leaving today. So wake up!" I sighed, got out of bed and gathered my stuff up.
Chapter 8
Before I knew it, I was at the airport and saying goodbye to my mom. I felt tears fall down my face. “Sweetie, you don’t have to do this…” my mom said. “But I want to.”
We hugged and I boarded the plane. I sat next to an old but really nice lady. I had the window seat. I took a ragged breath and looked out the windows.
I wish I was a bird. They’re carefree, they don’t have things that tie them down, and they can go anywhere.
I closed my eyes and tried not to think about anything else.
When I woke up, the flight attendant person was selling food. She got to my row, and I reached in my pocket for some money, but the nice old lady beside me stopped me and said, “What do you want to eat? I’ll buy something for you. I can tell you’re going through a rough time.” I smiled and asked for a bag of chips. The lady paid for it and I said thanks.
She smiled back at me. She’s so nice. We talked for the rest of the flight, and then the pilot announced that we were there. I said goodbye to Julie (the nice old lady)and got my things.
Chapter 9
I stood outside the airport and looked around. I sighed, “Well, this is it.” A new beginning. I took a big breath, and limped towards the fountain while looking down at the ground. (A habit I can’t seem to get rid of) When I got there, I sat down at the edge and stared into the water. I reached into my pocket -with my right hand because my left arm was in a cast- and pulled out a quarter. I made a wish and threw it into the water as far as I could. I wish everything would be ok.
Looking at the ground, I turned around and walked right into a hard chest. “Watch it, bitch!” the person I walked into said. That’s what Matt said the night Cassie died… I mumbled a sorry and tried to run away before the water works came. But a hand grabbed mine and I turned around.
“Are you ok?” a guy asked. “Yeah! Yeah. I’m fine.” I managed to get out. Then I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I let the tears fall. The guy pulled me into a hug, “Sorry about Sam.” He glared at Sam. “I’m Will.” Who does he think he is? Hugging strangers in front of an airport... “We were just headed to the park. By the way, what’s your name?” he asked.
“Kristen.” I mumbled. “Well Kristen, you wanna come with us?” I stood there, mouth slightly agape. “Uh...” He didn’t wait for an answer, and grabbed my hand –once again- and tugged me towards the park.
Chapter 10
"Wait! Who do you think you are?!" I asked. Sam scoffed and folded his arms. He trailed behind us. Close enough so we know he’s there, but far enough so people will think he’s not with us. I think I’m being kidnapped. I’m being forced to go somewhere I don’t want to go.
I jogged while the guys rode their skateboards. We had to stop a few times; you know you’re out of shape when you can’t even jog for a few minutes. Man, I wish I brought my skateboard. And plus, I had to carry my bags with my right hand too. I had 6 bags in all. I carried two, Will carried 3, and Sam carried one. We finally arrived, Will had a big smile on his face, and Sam gave me a -if –you- even- look- like- you- know- me- you’re- dead- look and skated off. I sat down on the bench and watched they guys skate. Huh, they’re pretty good. Some people walked up to me and we started chatting. After they left, I was all alone. I chose a really secluded spot, and all of a sudden; a hand covered my mouth, and dragged me off.
Chapter 11
I tried to scream and struggle, but he had a death grip on me. His hand was replaced by a cloth. It smelled weird and my eyes started to cross. My body went limp. All I could do was try and keep my eyes open. I was drifting in and out of consciousness. And in the distance, far, far away, I heard a faint shout.
~~~
I knew that girl was trouble. Really. I go away for just a moment, and she goes and gets kidnapped. I was hanging out with my friends, and when I looked over at her, she wasn’t there. I looked around and saw that she was being dragged off by some guy in a trench coat. I grumbled and ran after them “Hey! Hey you!” I yelled. The guy didn’t stop. Kristen was struggling to get away from him, but no luck.
Then he pulled out a white cloth and held it to her mouth. She instantly went limp. I grunted and pounded my legs harder. The when I was close enough, I did a flying tackle. I landed on him and we both flew to the ground, Kristen was on the ground, and she wasn’t moving. I looked down at her kidnapper, and threw a few punches. He tried to get up, but I was heavier.
Finally, he managed to get up and run away. I didn’t bother chasing after him. I knelt down next to Kristen. Her little body was moving up and down with every breath. She’ll be ok, I thought.
Then I saw Will running towards us. “Hey man, is she ok? What happened?” he asked. “Some guy tried to drag her off.” I replied. “Oh.” was all he said. He bent down and picked her up, bridal style. We went by the skate park and got her stuff.
Chapter 12
I gasped and jerked awake. Damn, I just had the weirdest dream ever. I dreamt that I had met two guys and then I got kidnapped. I opened my eyes, and Will was looking down at me, concerned. Nope, I guess that wasn’t a dream then. I scowled. “You ok?” he asked. I had just noticed that he was carrying me; I freaked out and jumped out of his arms. I landed on my butt and winced. Sam walks by with his arms crossed and muttered, “Serves you right.”
I got up and dusted my butt off. “Thanks. Uh, for helping me.” I muttered, looking at the ground. “No problem.” Will replied with a lopsided grin. I started walking away, but Will asked, “Hey, where are you going?” “Uh, I don’t know, probably rent a hotel and walk around, why?” I asked. “Well, um, I was wondering, um, if you’d wanna, I don’t know, come stay with us?” as soon as those words left his mouth, Sam yelled, “Hell no!” I glared at Sam, then I said, “Nah, I’ll pass. I think I need some time alone.” I gave Will a weak smile, grabbed my things, and walked off to nowhere in particular. I sighed, I haven’t been here for more than one day, and I already miss my mom. I wonder what she’s doing. I walked around and shopped for clothes.
By the end of the day, my arms were full of bags. I quickly went to the nearest hotel, and rented out a room. The girl at the counter handed me a key to a room in the third floor. I got into the elevator and clicked the 3 button.
I finally made it to my room and then I searched for the card. Ughh! Where did it go? Oh, found it. It was in my pocket. I reached in and grabbed it, trying not to make the bag fall on the ground.
It did though. “Aw, poo.” I muttered under my breath. I heard a chuckle behind me, I turned around so fast, I fell on the ground, along with all the other bags. This is so embarrassing..
Chapter 13
“You ok?” the guy who scared me asked. “Yeah.” I muttered. “Do you need help with that?” he motioned to the bags on the floor. “Sure.” I said quietly. He picked up all the bags without a wince or anything. The bags must have weighed 10 pounds!
I slid the card in the slot and the green light flashed. I opened the door and motioned him in. Yes, I was stupid for inviting a stranger into my hotel room. He looked around and whistled, “Damn, this place is big.” I smiled and told him to set the bags in a corner.
After he did that, we stood there in an awkward silence. “Um, do you want coffee?” I asked, spotting a water boiler and a few packs. “Sure.” He said.
I walked over to the table and made the coffee. Five minutes later, I returned with the coffee. He was still standing, so I said, “Why don’t you take a seat?”
“Okay.”
He sat down on the couch. I went over and sat on the bed with both of our coffees. I handed one to him. He took it and thanked me. We lapsed into another silence. “So, you’re not from around here, aren’t you?” he asked. “Nah. I’m from Florida.” I said. “What brings you do California?” he asked. I looked down and my eyes started watering.
Cassie. She was my best friend, the only friend I had. The person who listened to everything I said, even if she can be a little annoying. She was like a sister to me. And now she’s gone.
“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” He said, worried.
I shook my head. He came over and sat next to me and rubbed my back, “Shh, it’s ok.” That’s when the dam broke. My body wracked with every sob. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and wrapped my arms around him. He seemed surprised at first, but he hugged me back a few seconds later. He continued rubbing my back and whispering things like, “It’s ok.”
Look at me, I let a complete stranger in and now I’m crying on his shirt.
After what seemed like forever, I pulled away and sniffled. “I’m sorry for ruining your shirt.”
“Hey, it’s ok. Don’t worry about it.” He reassured me. He didn’t question why I suddenly started crying. He just sat there and comforted me. I could tell he was going to be a friend. Right after a find out his name. “What’s your name?” I asked after I calmed down somewhat. “Ryan. What’s yours?”
“Kristen.” I replied. He nodded and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s getting kinda late, I have to go. Are you free tomorrow?” Ryan asked. “Yeah.”
“Wanna hang out?” he asked. “Sure.”
He got up and walked to the door. I followed him. He pulled the door open and turned around. “It’s nice to meet you Kristen.”
I ran up to him and hugged him tightly. He stood still for a second and I thought I scared him off, but he hugged me back. “It nice to meet you too, Ryan. And thanks for today.” I squeezed him one more time and let go. I stepped back and he waved at me. “Bye!” I lifted my hand, “Bye.”
Chapter 14
I felt tears prickling my eyes as I ran to the bathroom. I left the door open and braced my arms on the sink. I looked up to the mirror and took in my appearance. Everything around me was posh, clean, and belonged there. I was the only one who didn’t.
I’ll never fit in. I never did in the first place. I shut my eyes tightly. I felt a lump in my throat.
My eyes were swollen, my lips were too fat, my cheekbones weren’t right, my hair was all matted and jacked up. Cassie use to fix my hair all the time, I didn’t know how to dress myself. Cassie..
The thought of her brought more tears. I blinked my eyes rapidly. I miss her.. so much.
This is too much. I needed to get rid of these feelings.. I needed to move on. I needed to face the fact that she’s gone. I sniffled, and went over to my luggage. I searched around for what I was looking for while wiping tears from my eyes.
My hand grazed a sharp edge. I wrapped my fingers around the object and pulled it out. I didn’t care that finger was bleeding, I really didn’t.
I prodded to the bathroom and slid down the wall. I bit my lip and slid the razor blade slide down my arm. I felt it; I felt the cool, hard metal go down my pale skin.
I squeezed my eyes shut as tears free fell down my cheeks. Blood was dripping down my arm. The pain felt good, it made me feel like I wasn’t in my body, like I was a ghost. The pain made me forget what happened.
I sniffled and slid it back down my already bloody skin. And again, and again.. My eyes were blurry with tears, and I kept seeing back spots in my vision.
“Hey, I forgot my keys, I’ll- WHAT THE HELL?!” Someone yelled. I was too tired, too out of breath, to care. I felt myself being lifted up. The razor blade dropped on the ground with a clang.
“Hey, Kristen, KRISTEN. Stay with me!” That was the last thing I heard before the world went black.
Impressum
Texte: This is all my imagination. Don't copy it, or I'll hunt you down. Jaykay ;D
Bildmaterialien: Images from google(:
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.03.2012
Alle Rechte vorbehalten
Widmung:
To all the people who have lost someone they loved.
Book song: Only Place I Call Home by Every Avenue.