Inhalt

Full eBook, All Chapters. Enjoy...

Why We Flop In Love

By Santosh Jha

(Revised & Updated 2017)

License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. Thanks for your support.

Preface:

Love, as we all know is the most cardinal, critical and concomitant emotion of our conscious and subconscious being. Such is the mystically munificent joy and satisfaction of the ubiquitous utility of love that we all wish to be in perpetuity and propensity of this divine endowment. However, the marvel of love lands many of us on the wrong side of love. As is true with most realities of humanity, there are more flops than successes in love.

We shall talk in details about how we can understand the mechanism and processes of love to avoid being a flop and to ensure sure successes. However, before we begin to do that, we need to accept something important, which shall create the ease of navigation to our understanding of love processes and mechanisms. We are fortunate to live in the new millennium, which has heralded a very facilitative new thinking. It was brewing up for over two decades but now as we moved into 21st century; we have the wisdom to answer many questions of wellness in a completely new light. The answers have come up as there has been a change in perception about the three core notions, essential for wellness and problem solutions.

These three notions are called 3Cs – Cognition, Consciousness and Causality. The new thinking offers new and scientifically appropriate perceptions about the three notions and helps humanity in understanding them in a new light. This is a huge boost for confidence required for empowerment and wellness.

Every new thing is received with skepticism. It is only natural. Most of us have a narcissistic affection towards what we think as right and just. No wisdom, no science, not even divinity are effective enough to open the closed doors of mind of a person. It is only a personal desire and disposition.

However, millions of people globally are benefitting by this new thinking and new perceptions about the 3Cs. This new thinking emerges out of the experience and knowledge of humanity for the last millions of years.

In the past, usually, all critical issues of life and living were addressed either with extreme ‘scientific positivism’ or with dogmatic ‘religious reductionism’. The right answers for wellness therefore looked elusive for humanity, be it relationships, faith or consciousness.

A ‘new thinking’ believes; answers are in the integrative and assimilative domain as both wisdoms have unbelievable commonality. Moreover, answers cannot be prescriptive but evolve within when one undergoes holistic option building. The new thinking is all about an assimilative and integrative approach and technique, drawing holistic resources from both traditional as well as modern wisdoms.

In this eBook, while dealing with love and its mechanism, this new thinking of 3Cs and overall holism of contemporary wisdom has been the guiding light. I humbly invite you to this new approach, which at times may not seem mainstream and populist but surely can lead to better acceptance of all shades of realism of love.

Table of Contents

Being The Master of Mechanism

A Progression Of Dualisms

Dualism And Non-Dualism of Love

The Higher Consciousness of Love

Cyclicality Of Love’s Dualism

Delving Deep Into ‘Whys’ And ‘Hows’ of Love

Of God’s Sons And Daughters!

As She Undoes It, You Focus On Doings

The ‘Mystery’ Of Being A Woman

Men Are Men, They Must Lead The Change

Cyclicality Of Causality Of Wellness

Accept My Gratitude

About The Author

Other Titles By The Author

Love Wisdom – 1

The sub-conscious mind is a stupid audience; applauding even the quirkiest of performances by our ‘conscious mind’, at the chaotic arena of life; especially in love. People, as ‘theatre’ of all joys and pains need to be wary of the ‘spectator-frenzy’, coaxing you to write ‘scandalous-scripts’ of life-dramas. Guard against passion, especially, when you are in love’s compassion.

Being The Master of Mechanism

It is a tragic but true reality – seven out of eight business ventures fail. Success has never been a rule in the long history of all ventures of humanity. Had it been, the world we have today would look drastically different. The good part however is, people have always learnt from their mistakes and evolved towards the goal of winning and success.

In love however, it seems, the real success rate is even worse, especially in the long run. Moreover, the worst part of love is – people are so unwilling to assess and analyze what led to the failure and are almost too finicky about learning from their mistakes – more inclined to shift the blame on others.

That is probably why; love remains the most unsuccessful venture of humanity.

Is it profanity and calamitous to relate ‘love’ with a ‘venture’ in economic terms? No doubt, it sounds very unpleasant but the fact remains that everyone looks for ‘success’ in love and anything, which is defined in terms of ‘success and failure’ or ‘hit and flop’, for its utility and fruition, needs to be accepted as ‘venture’! Especially, when, the success and failure is defined more in terms of cultural-benchmarks.

Let us make this all very simple. You buy petrol and fill the tank of your car. Do you expect that this petrol would run your car smoothly? Yes, we all do. However, your car does not start, or may be it does run but gives you a poor mileage and troubled driving. Do you blame petrol for it?

The simple fact is – the energy, which fuels a venture is largely neutral. It is the brilliance and efficacy of the system or mechanism, which uses this fuel energy, is decisive in the success of the entire venture.

Love only fuels our lives and it is so crucial for the start of the journey, the car – our lives, takes us on. However, whether we succeed or fail depends largely on the efficacy and brilliance of the car, an individual, not on the fuel. Of course, the fuel too shall trouble the car, if it has adulteration or in any other ways, fuel quality is dubious. The energy must always remain pure and pious. The sad part is, only we adulterate this pure and naturally available energy fuel of love!

Love is not a venture and it cannot fail or succeed. It is the catalyst in the venture. However, love fuels the mechanism of an individual and the fact remains that even if this fuel is pure and in its best form, the success of the process, it energizes shall depend on the individual’s quality and preparedness.

That is why, it is truly crucial, like in a business venture that we all first assess and analyze whether we are fully ready for venturing into a ‘process’ or ‘journey’, using the precious and pure energy fuel of love. All business needs complex pre-launch preparations and risk-analyses of multidimensional factors before they are finally launched in the troubled ocean called market.

Love, however is usually launched without any preparations. There is a clichéd that love is not made to happen, rather it happens. This somehow justifies the non-preparedness in love. However, when the associated troubles happen in love, we never repeat the clichéd that it happened and not made to happen. We always say, he or she made it all happen to me. Or, this or that set of things made it happen.

There is also this preposterous presumption that everyone born, automatically qualifies for two things – love and death! This hypothesis is the basic cause of most failures in love as well as death. Like love, we all need to be in ultimate and absolute ‘readiness’ to accept death, when it comes. However, very few greats actually prepare and are ready for the inevitability of death. Similar is the fate of we all in love. The inevitability of love accosts us and we are never prepared for it, let alone the state of readiness!

When something starts with a hypothesis that ‘what we want is what we should automatically get’, then the script for the failure is readied. Nothing qualifies for automatic qualification as a birthright in modern contemporary cultural milieu of humanity. A child born was once considered to have a birthright over his or her mother’s milk, as it is still in animal world. However, in modern world, governments all over the globe spend millions on advertising to appeal to all mothers that they should breastfeed their newborn. Why!

This metaphor of love like a business venture helps understand the intricacies of the mechanism of success or failure in love. Suppose, I have a marvelous product and after lots of research and value-addition into it, I launched it in the market. The trial had showed great response from sample customers, still my venture failed. There could be many reasons for my failure. May be, because my initial capital was small, I did not spend enough on reaching the information about my product to target customers. May be, my pricing was nasty. May be, the brand association of my product was not in sync with the larger utility perception of the customers. Or may be, everything else was right but the market sentiments were not conducive for new product. There is plethora of reasons and possibilities, which can make a business go awry.

The fact remains that success is never a function of singular entity. I may be good, but it does not always translate me and my efforts into success. There shall always remain in force multidimensional and probabilistic factors in the milieu, which shall be far more decisive for success. I cannot anyway discount them. My preparedness for success always has to count for all these factors and my success would depend on how skillfully I manage all the odds to breathe enough to have my imprint in the vast and tumultuous ocean of humanity.

One thing always has to be understood and accepted. If I create something, which has immense utility and fruition for me and some people around me, I shall have an instinctive tendency to give and share it with the entire world. There is then no success or failure involved in it. I shall offer it to anyone. If he or she takes it, it makes me happy. If they do not, or rather dislike it, I have no reason to be sad and put off. It is because, I am too happy with my own attainment of utility and even if it could not prove the same for others, it does not change my own sense of utility.

However, if I share it with an expectation that as this thing has proved of great utility for me, others must also accept it in the same sentiment and in return, they should thank, praise or pay me back, then I am exposing me to the travails of business venture.

Love is such a beautifully precious positioning of consciousness. We all must find and remain perpetually in the consciousness of absolute love and compassion. This pure and precious energy of love has loads of personal and subjective utility. It has immense utility and fruition for almost all, but in individual capacity. Love always has much larger utility and fruition for yourself and your own wellness; than it has in the domain of societal exchanges.

However, we all are social beings and this love we instinctively need to share with all, especially with someone very ‘special and exclusive’. This lands love in the domain of ‘market’, from the easy domain of personal to mutual; exposing it to personalized and subjective perceptions of utility and fruition of others. Some may like it, some may dump it and we find ourselves happy and hurt at the same time.

Moreover, the one ‘special and exclusive’ person, with whom, we wish to share the personal utility of love, happens to be at the center of one major and decisive ‘desire’ and ‘need’. We wish this person to be and remain in ‘exclusive’ and ‘subjective’ domain of our ‘particular’ shade of love. This itself lands love in precarious domains of society, culture and economic benchmarks, which love must also fulfill. The energy fuel of love is put in the car of marital-life or in bonded-pair necessities. The onus shifts on the car, not the fuel of love.

That is why; when love comes out of the happy domain of personal positioning of individual consciousness, it becomes a product for ‘trade’ and then, all the dimensions and probabilities of ‘market’ become applicable to it. We need to accept this dualism of love – something as a consciousness positioning and other as a socially exchangeable emotion of subjective utilities.

This dualism of love is so mystically beautiful, yet very intricately multidimensional and we need to understand, accept and master the mechanisms and processes of this mystical dualism to be successful in love. Once we accept that love, as life energy is instinctive, natural and intuitive in us since our birth. However, the operations this energy makes us perform in the stage of this world, is a very sincere and persevered skill, which we all need to nurture and nourish.

Someone said it very beautifully – there is a huge but mystical distinction between ‘hunger’ and ‘appetite’. Hunger is instinctive and natural to all of us. It is our life energy. However, we all live in civilized and cultured societies, where hunger has to run under a mechanism and process, benchmarked by societies and governments in its sense of mutuality. That is why, it has to take the shape and form of ‘appetite’.

Moreover, appetite is not only a cultural need, but also a larger utility of consciousness of body-mind positioning. Appetite is a beautiful metaphor of the very precious ‘poise’ of consciousness, as it makes us learn and value the artistry of patience and self-control. Appetite is a situation of peaceful and patient expectation of food to come your way. It is a beautiful emotion and feeling like being in a state of joy and ecstasy, expecting your lover to come in your arms and kiss you softly. You feel the ‘hunger’; it energizes your mystical joys of expectations of the inevitability of ‘joyful union’ with your lover, the center of your ‘desires’. This appetite itself is joyous and exhilarating.

The dualism of hunger and appetite need to be understood and mastered. The dualism of energy and mechanism has to be mastered. The dualism of mechanism and process needs to be mastered. This dualism is within body-mind mechanism, in the society and culture, in the material aspects of love’s energy, in the larger political and economic environment within which society and culture evolves and creates its benchmarks of right and wrong.

This cosmic dualism need to be understood and mastered to be successful in love. This artistry of mastery of mechanisms and processes of dualism of the energy of love is not something we are born with. We are born just with this energy fuel of love and absolute intimacy.

We shall talk about all possible aspects of this dualism of love here, so that we become the ‘masters of the mechanism’ and processes of love and not the ‘puppet of mechanisms’. The venture of love and absolute intimacy is a huge possession and attainments of our lives and we just cannot take it casually. We need loads of preparedness to arrive at the stage of readiness. We all are born and we cannot help it. We shall all reach love and death; we cannot help it either. However, we can surely ensure that when love and death happens, we are sincerely ready for it, welcoming it with beautifully assuring smile and satisfaction.

Most importantly, like all good ventures, the success affects not only individual, but the society at large. Being successful in love is also our cherished societal duty. Every successful love venture adds loads of wellness in the society and milieu around us. We all have to put in our share of wellness into this collectivity, where our future generations shall breathe.

Love Wisdom – 2

The art is in evolving to such a receptive consciousness, which is aligned to enjoyment and fruition in both ways – expecting and planning the randomizations for ‘specific’ joys as well as designing joys in ‘generic’ randomizations. Love lands you in a consciousness, which relishes the joys of this rainbowish dualism best.

A Progression Of Dualisms

The first and foremost dualism about love, which is very deep-rooted in our consciousnesses, is its acceptance as something mystical, at the cost of sustained refusal to see the more objective and elaborately realistic aspects. Most of us are happy refusing the growingly available practical facts by behavioral science as well as pure science on the mechanism and process of love.

The majority idea is – love is ideally acceptable with its three elements of Mystery, Magic and Marvel. Most of us feel, if love is made to be understood with objective technicalities of science, the three ‘M’s’ of love withers away. The three ‘M’s’ land most of us in inexplicable troubles and pains of love, still, we do not wish to understand the mechanism in its objective and scientific terms, which can put us in good stead, vis-à-vis all the love troubles.

The dualism is in the mysticism, magic and marvel of love. This mysticism of love is what most lovers get attracted to initially. This suits the consciousness of love. This marvel of love gives the young men and women huge kicks of life. Young minds get huge thrills in journeying amidst the mist of mysticism of love as precariousness of the enterprise always has its own joy. Similar is the human desire, when it comes to religion and spiritualism. Mysticism is preferred state here too. However, this mysticism further confuses those in love and faith and this confusion in turn leads to calamitous patterns of behaviors and actions in love. The resultant pain and chaos is cyclic.

Sciences may not be in a position right now to tell us in perfect details as why and how, what happens in love. However, there are huge research-backed substantiations explaining lot many aspects of the purely physical and bio-chemical mechanisms and processes of love, as human mind handles them. This surely takes away lots of mysticism, magic and marvel out of the age-old notion of love and archetypal imagery of love in society. However, it is hugely helpful in clearing the mist of confusion and chaos around the very core idea of love.

It is a humble suggestion that objective knowledge about something never ever takes away the subjective joys. It rather enhances them. We all know it very well that an actor on the movie screen is just portraying and professing a role or character still, we cry with them and get emotionally one with the fictitious character. The knowledge, that the actor is actually not dead and it is only the character he portrayed is dead in the movie, does not anyway reduce our emotional joy and satisfaction of movie viewing. The knowledge surely enhances our joys and nullifies the pain, as we know, at the end of day everything is back to real.

The dualism of love is actually the root cause of why such a beautifully powerful and beneficial facility called love becomes a cause of pain and trouble. When we do not understand the mechanism of something very clearly, mysticism is bound to creep in and it shall unleash the destructive energy of confusion. We need to understand the mechanism of love in scientifically explained terms to enhance the joy of love.

The mechanism of mind, explained in terms of detailed neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes in pure scientific traditions may not be suitable for all of us. Therefore, what we shall talk about here is just an outline and simplified description of the mechanism.

What we are attempting to bring out from our discussion is the ‘dualism’ inherent in the mechanism and processes of love, as human mind handles it. We also need to accept that it is not something which science is telling us now. Thousands of years back, great minds of spiritualism and philosophy have told similar facts about consciousness, the cardinal position of love in it and the dualism, which consciousness faces about the emotional positioning of love.

Human mind is where all mysticisms emanate and end. The multilayered mechanisms of mind is one huge mystery, humanity has been attempting to unravel since thousands of years. The spiritualism and philosophy have given its own interpretation. Science has taken over and presented great facts about mind mechanism, its structure and functions and this has led humanity to understand lot many things about consciousness.

Human brain is the central mechanism for ensuring the survival and excellence of human body and it has to be accepted that the conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses almost everything in terms of its primary and pivotal role of ensuring a mechanism for survival and excellence. This interpretation of human mind looks so demeaning as we all are inclined to accept ourselves as something big and a lofty and special creation of God. Accepting ourselves as an entity, with base idea of survival is revolting.

That is why, science says, “the idea of a self, in objecting terms is often pitted against the ‘self’ itself, which we have been used to accepting subjectively since thousands of years.”

However, as we have talked about it earlier, the mechanism, as we are, may not be easy for us to accept but it is very helpful in enhancing our joy and satisfaction. Just for knowing the mechanism, we need to accept that human mind ensures this survival and excellence through a continuous and complicated maintenance of a process called homeostasis – better understandable as ‘poise’. All wisdoms, old or new, since thousands of years, have talked about the importance of this idea called ‘poise’, explained in terms of philosophy and spiritualism. Science unravels its physiological, bio-chemical and psychosomatic aspects.

In lower organisms, the homeostasis or poise is only physiological and biological but as human mechanism is very complex, human mind has to perform a complex and multidimensional homeostasis. In humans, the poise also has to be bio-sociological, psychological, emotional, spiritual as well as volitional. We are talking about this all because, love has to do specifically with this homeostasis thing and the trouble it creates also emanates from this.

There are sufficient scientific researches to establish that when people are in true love and absolute intimacy, their overall homeostasis is in great shape and this reflects in their healthy state of mind and body as well as behavior-action. The reverse has also been established as researches show, when people are in instable and unsettled love elements, their body gets affected and they land in serious body-mind dysfunction and even death.

Science has also established that most of the behavior-action of humans is instinctive and intuitive. Even the learned behavior, the nurture part, in time becomes part of instinctive behavior and nature. The simple idea is, almost everything, which our conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses, has to be in consonance and conformity with the larger homeostasis, which is essential for survival and excellence.

The conscious as well as the subconscious minds operates in a way, which is mystical for most of us as most operations and processes are intangible and we are mostly oblivious of it. That is also why, love, which is a very potent, cardinal and critical element of behavioral and emotional expression of our consciousness, remains in the mist of mysticism, magic and marvel.

However, we all can now understand the mechanism of this mysticism of love consciousness and come out of the veil of mysticism, standing tall on the ground of practical and tangible realism. This we can do by understanding how essentially our larger consciousness is an intangible expression of homeostasis process and how love is the strongest and most authoritative voice of this consciousness; seeking perpetuity of ‘poise’ – the larger homeostasis.

The process of making of consciousness, which stays with us lifelong, starts even when we are in mother’s womb. The sense of ‘self’ or to say, the question as ‘who I am’, starts to take shape when in womb, a child gets the feel of sounds and vibrations around. The unconscious mind of child starts accepting these elements of his immediate milieu as part of its homeostasis requirements. Science admits; a newborn child is designed to be born as a genius. It readies itself for the environment outside the womb by imbibing the signals it receives inside the womb. That is why; modern couples start the education of their kids well in the womb itself.

From the day first, the human child is instinctively loaded with one facility, which helps him or her evolve his or her ‘self’ – the subjective consciousness. This facility is instinctive inquisitiveness – the insatiable inclination to know. This desire also seems to be a beautiful expression of the homeostasis mechanism of body-mind consciousness. The mind can maintain poise only when it incessantly updates information about the surrounding environment and makes prompt decisions about the utility of these information for maintaining homeostasis.

It is here the trouble seems to start for humanity. The need to know exposes the mind to loads of multiplicity of information in the larger environment. As subconscious mind of the child starts to accept and adopt most of them as ‘essential’ for his homeostasis, he or she becomes unconsciously predisposed to these information and they become part of his or her larger consciousness, which science refers to as love/belief system.

Even before a child grows up to become an adult, he or she already accepts thousands of beliefs. However, most of these beliefs are based on his or her personal and subjective interpretations of experiences, inferences, assumptions, probabilities, deductions, inductions, and loads of oversimplifications, which the subconscious mind is expert at making. Most of these beliefs are very much part of the subconscious mind and continue to present themselves as potent referrals for conscious mind even years after. We all have heard people saying, an adult’s love is very much a reflection of what he or she got in childhood. We all know, a love-deficit childhood engenders an adult with troubled love life.

All these beliefs, which a child acquires, form part of the ‘self’, the subjective consciousness, about which we always keep asking question as ‘who I am’. Our subconscious mind starts building an image of ‘self’ and this process expresses itself in mystically intangible ways. We unconsciously start extending the limits of our ‘self-image’ in things and beliefs around us. It starts with we identifying with our body first, then with our mind, our family, friends, neighbors, teachers, partners, the special someone and later with our career, assets, ethnicity, nationality, gender etc. As we grow in life, we identify more with ideas and issues. All these are expression of our ‘self’, the consciousness.

We adopt them in our minds and guard them very ferociously as if they were part of our ‘self’. We fight over our people and beliefs like we fight for our dear life and well-being. It is because, they are part of our self and anything against them threatens our homeostasis, making us react fiercely. This is mystical. We may think, we are fighting for the cause of our dear ones or dear beliefs but essentially, we are fighting for our own survival, which is expressed in terms of homeostasis.

We all know, how people feel so strongly about their family, loved ones, ethnicity and nationality. People go to the extent of sacrificing their lives for the dear cause of family and even nation. It is very simple to understand why people do not think twice, giving up their lives for lovers and even something as vague as loss of their favorite football club. People commit suicide even when their favorite pop star falls from stairs and hurts him or her seriously. This is no joke. These incidents somehow are very intense and as some people accept it as something seriously threatening their ‘self – their very homeostasis wellness, they feel, their very survival is threatened. The reaction can be very disproportionate and precarious. They often are in love!

We all need to understand and accept it with a non-judgmental and objective mind that usually, when we are in love; we are in the ‘mystical middle’ of a very intense and powerful dualism. True love is one beautiful and everlasting ‘poise’ of person and personality. However, in our pop culture, we all can see how love is one huge ‘psychosis’. The trouble is, both poise and psychosis can be simultaneously present and active in one single person, at any given time.

A person seeks to be in love to internalize this ‘poise’ to the core of his or her personality. However, the same person is battling against the psychosis on the periphery of his or her personality as the culture and society we live in, exposes him or her to loads of conflicts and competitiveness. This dualism often expresses itself in chaotic love emotions.

When we love someone, he or she becomes an essential and ingrained part of our ‘self-image’ and systemic wellness homeostasis. We start taking him or her for granted as part of ‘me’ and ‘mine’. That is why; when there is trouble in love, or a situation, where it seems the love-situation is unsettled, we feel hugely threatened. We unconsciously feel that our very survival and core wellness is threatened. In this unsettled situation, the very person, who was the ‘receiver’ of all our love- largesse, poses as the one, who is a threat to our wellness.

We all have experienced and witnessed this situation all around us when a lover kills his or her beloved and also kills himself or herself. Why? This dualism plays the villain. The dualism of the subconscious mind makes us do all unimaginable things. The simple reason is – when your love is threatened, your unconscious mind quickly attempts to identify the ‘enemy’, who threatened your survival instincts. As your beloved himself or herself is someone, who jolted your love-wellness, the unconscious mind identifies him or her as enemy. The war is then declared against this ‘enemy’.

The dualism is playing its mystical marvels to us. The special someone, the beloved, whom we love so much that we cannot think of living a moment without him or her, becomes our enemy number one. Depending on how we all have been culturally trained to treat our enemies, we start executing our battle-tactics against him or her. Those, who are well groomed, trained by parents and family to be accommodative and compassionate with even the enemies, shall never opt for violent and overtly physical battle-plans. However, they can be sadistic about them. Those, who have a culture of violence, can go to any limit as it is said, “Everything is fair in love and war”.

Global data shows that intimate partner violence is hugely on rise. Failed love and intimacy has become the chief pain-inflictor in our pop culture. The easiest expression of the desire to inflict pain on intimate partners is ‘promiscuity’ and ‘character assassination’. Sadism, aggression and behavioral hostility are sure signs of a troubled and unsettled wellness homeostasis of the person. This person shall be hugely intense and passionate in love. However, be sure, when things are on the low, such a person can be calamitous and extreme with expressions of his or her desire to secure his or her wellness.

As we said earlier, researches have confirmed that when a person’s dear ideas or people are in trouble, his or her bio-sociological, psychological, emotional and volitional homeostasis is disturbed and this leads him or her to dysfunctional health and even death. The perception of threat to their homeostasis is very subjective, varying hugely.

That is why, we all need to understand and accept; love needs huge preparedness. We all are given enough time for the preparations. When I am perfectly settled and in absolute ‘poise’ of my overall wellness homeostasis, then only I am ‘ready’ for assimilation and integration of love. Moreover, the special someone, I love, has to be in this ‘poise’ too. Then only the magic works!

A young father has his little daughter growing fast in a very big city of United States of America, where pop culture has taken the teenagers in perfect grip. The mother is very concerned and even tense. She worries for her teenage daughter and asks her husband, what to do to avoid any ‘accidents’. Nothing new! However, what the father of this teenage girl said to his wife is interesting. He said, “I am trying to figure out, what my daughter can do, which I cannot forgive. I love her and I think, the sky of my affection and compassion for her shall always remain much larger than her arms can stretch for possible wrongs.”

True love has to be like that. Love, in all its manifestations and expressions has to be like that. Love liberates, never suffocates. The ‘compassion’ of forgiveness shall always remain larger than the ‘accidents’ of ‘passion’, when you are in true love and absolute intimacy.

The father, in the above story, is in perfect ‘poise’ of his wellness homeostasis. His wellness is not threatened by his subjective ‘self-image’ of right and wrong. It is his poise, which is so beautifully and magnanimously reflected in his behavior and action. It is only natural that this father is a sure hero for the girl and this girl shall grow to be one ‘poised’ person.

From the day we are born, we are muffled by love, in one form or other. Our preparedness starts from that day. Initially, it is the responsibility of parents and family but later, we ourselves have to learn and unlearn our ways towards this ‘poise’ of our larger wellness homeostasis. If we have this poise, love shall be one huge theatre of song and dance within. And, when we choose to extend this wellness poise to someone special, we need to be sure, he or she is in the same ‘poise’.

Love, as an idea, deeply associated with the entity of homeostasis, is hugely beautiful and highly useful. Love is a mystical expression of the ‘sense of larger wellness’, which is a cardinal and potent condition for homeostasis.

What mind receives and expresses are through neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes. However, these processes are intangible and our conscious mind never is able to see or perceive them. It is when, these processes are translated in behavior and action then we understand and accept it. That is simply why; there is a sense of mysticism, in all our behavior-actions, which are expressed in subconscious state of mind.

The affectors of human emotions, which in turn impact the human mind’s decision-making choices of behavior-action are mostly intangible. That is why; there is a sense of mysticism and marvel around it.

Love also being an expression of intangible nature and essentially a neurochemical and neuroelectrical expression of the larger need of body’s homeostasis wellness, lands in the domain of mysticism, magic and marvel.

Love is an intangible and very subjective expression of emotions in terms of behavior-action to extend the domain of self’s homeostasis wellness in the ambient environment. When the self accepts and adopts something and someone as right and good for its homeostasis wellness, there is a neurochemical and neuroelectrical impulse to merge in as part of its larger ‘self’. This Process Is Body-Mind Consciousness Expressing In Terms Of The Emotion Of Love.

Love is essentially an extension of one’s ‘self’ and subjective consciousness to accept and accommodate a thing, idea or person in its fold. Therefore, love basically is a very selfish and self-indulged emotion, an expression of the self’s ever-present need to maintain its homeostasis. It is our higher consciousness, which assigns and aligns this ‘selfishness’ to lofty and noble values of life and living in societal space.

Love is a mind-mechanism and process in the side of ‘self’, for enhancement and aggrandizement of the broader need of survival and wellness. When we explain love in these terms, we shall see that there is nothing that remains in the veil of mysticism, magic and marvel. Everything, even weirdest of action-behavior in love can be explained and understood in scientifically calculable ways.

A person’s homeostasis often accepts contradictory ideas. It is possible that a person is a devout faithful, still that person relishing an abusive tongue. It is all in the subconscious. It became ingrained in that person’s subconscious mind probably early in his childhood and now forms part of his or her larger wellness homeostasis. Therefore, this person would love another person, who has similar faith system, however, would not desist from using bad mouth to him or her as the subconscious mind is used to accepting the abusive tongue as ‘good’ and acceptable. You may see a dualism and contradiction in it. You may think, if a person loves you, he or she should use nice language with you and should not be a boozer or a gambler. However, for that person, love is only an expression of his or her ‘self’ and his or her ‘self’ already accepts abuse and boozing as acceptable things for his or her wellness homeostasis.

If you attempt to reason it out with him or her that if he or she loves you, he or she should stop abuse and booze, he or she shall first of all look confused. He or she would not even understand why you are saying this. Because, he or she (his or her subconscious mind), does not see any contradiction and conflict in it. Most likely, he or she shall take your words of reasoning as a threat to his or her wellness homeostasis and would likely to go away. Nobody can compromise with his or her long preserved homeostasis.

Actually, this person loved you because you fitted in his or her larger scheme of homeostasis wellness. Now when you have put up ideas, which disturb his or her homeostasis, his or her sense of wellness is threatened and compromised. He or she is likely to stop loving you, or shall be unsettled and erratic in his or her action-behavior.

The subconscious mind is almost too obsessed with the idea of survival and homeostasis. That is why, when it is faced with some situation, which is unpredictable and for which it has no ready solutions, it shall start creating such ideas for ensuring his or her win and success, which shall be weird and even illusory. Not only that, it would also prompt the conscious mind to go ahead with those weird ideas in terms of action and behavior.

For example, when you ask someone you love deeply to do away with some nasty or not so good habit or idea with him or her. He or she would first resist it saying, ‘why do you want to change me?’ You may tell lot many things to convince him or her but with little success. Consider, what this person’s subconscious mind can come up with. It can device a series of questions, which shall essentially be his or defense against the change you want.

His or her subconscious mind shall create all possible patterns of action-behavior to ensure he or she wins against your suggestion for change. Homeostasis needs to always win for survival.

The person would ask:

Why is there a need for me to change, I am doing perfectly fine!
Why should you ask me to change, can’t you accept me as I am?
Why should I change and even if I have, why should I listen to you?
Oh! Do you think you are God! Even God cannot ask me that!
Why should I change if I am not convinced there is something wrong about it?
If I have to change, only I shall decide, no one has the right to judge me.
I am open to change but only for someone who first accepts me as I am.
I would change only for someone who loves me blindly.
I accept changes but it would be tough as I was made this way.
Give me time, I am a not good at it! Etc.

The general refrain of most people in love is, “why cannot you accept me as I am. The God accepts me and loves me the way I am, good or bad. Why can’t you? Are you greater than God? Love never puts conditions!” Etc.

Remember, the more intelligent a person is, more artistic and ingenious shall be his or her advocacy against change. More unsettled, ephemeral and indecisive one’s overall homeostasis is, more intense and vocally demonstrative he or she shall be in love. However, this person shall be tougher for you to change him or her and shall be equally demonstrative in denying changes.

This dualism needs to be understood. The unsettled homeostasis makes one to seek love more intensely, desperately and sincerely. Such love is usually highly demonstrative and aggressively centrifugal. Love is the emotion of search for larger wellness homeostasis and people, who have larger need for wellness poise, shall be very intense, highly possessive and overwhelming in love. This initially suits love needs of both the partners.

Everyone loves to be smothered and submerged in love’s intensity and its mystically disproportionate multidimensionality. However, this is the seed of big trouble-tree of love. If we wish to be swept away by the storm of love, we need also to be ready of the calamitous fallouts of this storm.

Love in its pure and pious form is never passionate but always compassionate. Love is a ‘well-poised’ consciousness positioning, an innate state of settled internal wellness, seldom in need of passionate and demonstrative expressions. Love’s expression is like systemic serenity of ‘song and dance’ staged within a person’s consciousness. You shall come to relish and feel at peace with his or her innate song-dance positioning, without that person saying anything to you.

The higher consciousness, in compassionate possession of the settled wellness of love shall be calm and composed like a deep ocean and blue sky. Such a person shall be widely accommodative, assimilative and integrative towards everything, like an ocean and sky. Compassion only assimilates; passion can often drift in the storm of disproportionate demonstrations of love.

We shall talk about this dualism and many other aspects of love’s conflicts and contradictions here. We shall definitely talk about how we all can rise above this dualism to be successful in love and intimacy. We are surely not only our mechanism. We are more than our mechanism and this ‘more’ in us can take better control and utility of this ‘mechanism’ when we understand and accept this mechanism and its operative processes in an objective way, through a holistic, assimilative and integrative perspective.

There is no need to reject our age-old ideas about love and intimacy. Because we have already talked that all wisdoms, old or new have beautiful commonality and mutuality in all ideas of humanity. Only their approach is different.

That is why, we shall talk about them in a holistic, assimilative and integrative way, accepting all wisdoms and rejecting nothing.

Love Wisdom – 3

Life is one long continuity, queued up with a series of constants. The key ‘constants’ are relationships. People, who love you, often accept you as ‘constant’. Naturally, the ‘continuity’ of ‘relationships’ is the casualty. Continuity of love owes it to constant evolving. This dualism needs to be understood and accepted!

Dualism And Non-Dualism of Love

The larger humanity has always accepted that there is something divine about love. That is partly because the experience, the feeling is amazingly and beautifully satisfying and seems in good congruence and conformity with the archetypal mechanism of divinity.

It is also because the spectrum of this super emotion is still indefinable and unfathomable for most humans. Love, the mysticism of human consciousness is the door to a non-dualistic consciousness and existence, which all genres of wisdom prescribe, be it religion-spiritualism, philosophy, psychology or pure science. Yet, it is so elusive for most, though most intrinsic in all living beings.

Almost all wisdom of humanity since ancient times has prescribed humanity to be in a perpetual and persistent consciousness of love. Every single human being too wants to be in the perpetuity of love. Still, love is the most elusive and evasive content in the lives of humans. It is because; it seems most of humans does not understand love in its non-dualistic avatar or form and remain hooked to its wider dualism. Like, most of us do not arrive and remain at this non-dualistic consciousness. Love in its holistic, assimilative and integrative form is a sure ticket to perpetuity of non-dualistic consciousness.

The key question is how to be in perpetuity of non-dualistic consciousness through Love. Let us attempt to unravel the mysticism of Love and its pluralistic dimensions.

There are levels or stages of development of consciousness. The consciousness in both cosmic sense as well as in individualistic sense starts with raw objectivity (subconscious), traverses through subjectivity (cultural mind) and needs to arrive at pure and exalted objectivity (higher consciousness).

This seems a mysterious and psychic process. However, in contrast, the mechanism is simple. A newborn also loves but his or her love is need based and purely led by survival instincts coded in his or her un-evolved mind since ages. This is a consciousness, which is bereft of dualism, conflict and different pulls of a cultured mind.

He or she grows and loves more as the instinctive love gets rainbowish colors of cultural mind. As we grow, homeostasis is in constant adjustments as we face a complex and colossal societal milieu. That is why, adolescents and teenagers are much more in need of careful and sufficient love, care and intimacy.

This is however, the transitional and supposedly, the worst stage of love. The love has to reach to the stage of pure objectivity where his or her love sheds and unlearns all that his or her cultural mind made him or her accept. This love is a product of higher consciousness and is akin to a newborn’s love but far more pure and truly objective.

There is a stage of life, let us say up to 25 years, when a person builds up his or her consciousness and accepts rather subconsciously, many cultural ideas, realities and benchmarks, making it part of his or her ‘self-image’. This is somehow an auto process as the core mechanism of mind extends the domain of the person’s larger wellness homeostasis, essential for his or her survival and excellence in the ambient milieu.

However, as we talked earlier, many of these ‘self-image’ of his or her consciousness is a product of his or her ambient culture and milieu, which is essentially very localized. They create loads of dualism and conflict within. After say 25 years, when his or her maturity is in right stage, he or she must start the process of very conscious ‘unlearning’, to prune and shed many elements in his or her ‘self-image’, which are at the root of his or her conflicts.

Suppose, a girl is raised by her mother in a single parent family, where she unconsciously was made to accept many negative ideas about her estranged father. As she grows, she is likely to have this in her mind that men are not faithful and she always need to guard her individuality. Irrespective of what is the truth about her father or the fact about men, she has to enter a love relationship with a neutral mind, never a predisposed or ‘affected’ mind. A pre-inclined mind shall hamper her relationship with her man. Therefore, she shall have to unlearn her ‘prejudices’ before she opts to have her own love life. This preparation and ultimate readiness is crucial for success in love. In love, unlearning is always a better virtue than learning.

There are two ways of arriving at a blank or value-neutral mind. One is you are born with. This is good but not desirable as it is animalistic and does not have a sense of distinction between different other levels of consciousness. Its sense of righteousness is very intuitive, confined to very restrictive instinctive definition of survival.

The other is a mind, which has been made blank by shedding, unlearning and unwinding the mind off all unconsciously acquired cultural elements of the consciousness and this is desirable as this mind has reached this stage after experiencing all shades of consciousness and consciously choosing to have a blank one, which is truly objective.

There is a dualism of subjective and objective consciousnesses that need to be understood through a metaphor, which has brilliant reference in religion-spiritualism and science also accepts it as the prescribed way. There is a metaphor of a bee flying and after seeing a flower landing on it and then sucking the nectar of the flower. This metaphor is also used for love.

In subjective consciousness, the lover would see himself as the bee and the flower as his love attraction. The act of nectar sucking is deemed as love’s object or the process of love sharing. The raw objectivity of a newborn would also liken it with bee and sucking as love. However, in this objectivity, the subject, that is bee, has different level of innocence and conscious involvement. In a newborn’s love, the prime thing is sucking and the bee, the subject is insignificant as the level of consciousness is missing. In a youth’s love, the bee, the subject is of prime importance and focus as the evolved and cultured mind has a subjective and egoistic consciousness, which is un-evolved in a newborn.

The pure and exalted objectivity of a higher consciousness sees it completely differently and has the edge. It sees bees and flower both as insignificant. It does not even consider them as subject. It considers the ‘fragrance and sweetness’ of nectar and the intrinsically ‘symbiotic’ process involved between bee and flower attracting them towards each other as the ‘real subjects’. They truly are the subjects as they are energizing the mechanism and both bee and flower are just non-egoistic and non-dualistic objects involved in this beautiful process called love, which satisfies both bee and flower needs.

Love is like the above metaphor. The bee and flower both are driven and guided by their basic instincts for which they are wired – the wellness homeostasis for survival and excellence. The objective consciousness is coded in their being. The bee needs flower for survival as it provides him with vital nectar. The flower equally needs the bee as the bee makes the process of pollination complete. Both love each other and the love intrinsically happens; it is spontaneous and innate. Man-woman love is also innate and spontaneous.

The humans however, have similarity only till here. They differ after that. The man loves the woman and woman loves the man. It is coded in their instinctive and raw objective consciousness but when love happens in grownups, it usually happens in subjective and dualistic consciousness, where the cultured mind and subjective being of lover and beloved become far more primary and usually, focus shifts from love to the dualisms of the consciousnesses of the two subjects involved. As it happens, then, love is either not existing or love becomes just the façade for the instinctive act of hardcore animalistic survival needs.

For true and exalted love to happen, it must follow the route of a non-dualistic and pure objective consciousness. In such a state of higher consciousness, both lover and beloved shed and dissolve their dualistic and cultured mind and finally accept themselves just as unnecessary burden of being objects of love. And then, the real subject of love – the fragrance, rainbow, song, dance and true magic and marvel of love falls in the linearity of a symmetrical and symbiotic sub-consciousness where cultured consciousnesses of egoistic selves of the two ‘objects’ of love dissolve into one singular and objective higher consciousness.

There is a parallel of love in music. When the music of highest order plays, it is like a beloved. You listen to it and turn into a lover. As you turn a lover, you stop listening to the music, you start experiencing it, you start imbibing it. Gradually, as you shed your dualistic mind, you forget that you are the ‘experiencer’. You turn into the ‘experience’ itself. Your non-dualistic consciousness creates a symmetrical linearity with the music and you finally become the music itself. When true love arrives; egos melt and love flows in all dimensions.

This was the metaphor for man-woman love but, love in its widest and most magnanimous avatar and manifestations follows the same process. Not only love, all basic emotions of humanity need to follow the same process of the cyclic journey from non-dualism to dualism and finally reaching back to non-dualism but in a pure and exalted avatar where subjects are transformed and metamorphosed and the core process takes over.

In contemporary world, love is the biggest casualty not because anything intrinsic has changed between man and woman. The big change is however in the subjects of love. Both man and woman have become far more dualistic in consciousness as their cultured mind does not allow them to shed their subjective egoistic consciousness.

That is why, even when love happens, the two refuse to shed their culturally segregated and conflicting consciousness as ‘subjects’ of love. Love takes a back seat as ‘subjects’ become the focus of love and love making. Finally, love dissipates and bodies of subjects become the theatre of something taken as love but it is just a mechanism with little or no essence of the brilliantly beautiful emotion of love.

This is so open and available for everyone to experience and experiment. For true love to happen and stay, the two ‘subjects’ have to ‘unlearn’ and shed the weights of their subjective consciousness. Rather, they have to cease to be subjects. In contemporary world, love does not stay as two subjects in love not only do not shed their subject tags rather play ingenious games of mind for one-upmanship of subjective superiority. Love evaporates the same moment.

Love happens to be more a casualty in the hands of women today as they have found a new ‘subject’ in their newly arrived subjective and dualistic consciousness. As their insecurity and sense of unsettled wellness makes their ‘subject’ more dominant and given to the cultural and mind game of one-upmanship, the other subject adds up and then love becomes a battleground. The divinity in love is lost. There is definitively no blame in it. It is just a matter of practical realism. This needs to be understood.

We all live in a very complex and competing world. Our cultures and ambient socio-cultural milieus have become intricately multidimensional. In such a milieu, an average person’s wellness is always in perpetuity of intangible and tangible threat perceptions. Confusion and conflict for modern humanity is something as ambient as polluted air.

In such circumstances, the wider homeostasis or poise of an average person is always disturbed – physiologically, emotionally, psychologically as well as bio-sociologically. It is our innate mechanism that when our homeostasis or overall poise is missing, we shall love more and wish to adopt and accommodate more ideas and people within our fold to add assurances to a ‘self-image’ facing threats to poise. However, in such a state of disturbed homeostasis, love shall always be conflicted and confused. This cyclic chaos adds to our overall disturbed poise and very unconsciously, loads of psychosis creeps in.

Women in contemporary societies and cultures are in for a great role-metamorphosis. Their self-image is undergoing a beautiful but precarious change. They are struggling far more than men to be at peace with their ‘self-image’ and widely unsettled larger homeostasis. It is only natural that when your homeostasis is unsettled, you shall have a psychotic perception of wellness and survival needs. That is why, we all can see and experience ourselves that women of all ages in contemporary modern societies want more love and wider expressions of this love for them. Moreover, as this ‘more love’ need is usually a larger expression of their more unsettled poise and an larger than real ‘survival and wellness’ needs, they stand more conflicted and contradicted in love and intimacy.

The tragedy is; men too are in for a role-transformation but better placed in the society and culture because of their age-old positioning. They remain largely true to their archetypal consciousness and approach women in same age-old ways. They do not accept and appreciate the metamorphosed consciousnesses of modern women and their transitional conflicts and psychosis.

Rather, men mostly react with their own inflated egos and indulge in the artistry of one-up-manship in the game of love. The two ‘subjects’ of love then enter the divine domain of love not as two people but as two warriors. Love becomes a battleground!

We shall not talk here about how effectively we can do the process of ‘unlearning’ and how we can reach to the stage of ‘higher consciousness’ as we have talked about in the ebook titled ‘Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes’.

Love Wisdom – 4

One, who loves you most, may turn out to be the one hating you most. Or the vice-versa. The subject remaining the ‘same’, the ‘change’ is in the object, which was the ephemeral medium of the energy of love. Let love be the energy between two subjects; not objects.

The Higher Consciousness of Love

The very cardinal and critical idea of a higher consciousness, which is non-dualistic and in complete awareness and control of all dualistic layers of consciousnesses as well as societal milieus, is the key to success in love. The higher consciousness is the ‘readiness’, in the part of both the lover as well as the beloved, which is an ‘indispensable requisite’ for entering the pure and pious domain of love.

We need to talk in detail about it to ensure, we all are huge successes in love. Successful individual loves are sure and certain guarantee of a societal culture where wellness is in perfect and profound poise. This has a cyclic effect – individual wellness in collectivity ensures societal wellness and which in turn engenders a conducive milieu for successes of individual loves.

The first readiness has to start from self. We have first right for ourselves then we also must have first duties for us. We need to ready ourselves for love first. We need to understand the mysticism, magic and marvel of ‘self’ and our ‘consciousness’ first. It shall makes us understand the mysticism, magic and marvel of love and shall makes us successful in love.

We are what we are but we all have a common mechanism of ‘self’. This self has the elements of mysticism, magic and marvel. The ‘self’ has the innate mechanism to be in a state of constant flux, playing to the multidimensionality of life and living dualisms. We all need to evolve and prepare the ‘self’ to rise above these dualisms and finally land in the higher consciousness of a non-dualistic personality positioning. Then only, we should be ready for receiving love.

Always remember, emotions are the language and communication of our mechanism, which is essentially neurochemical and neuroelectrical. The mysticism emanates out of this language, which our mind speaks to our body but we fail to decipher. The emotions, we receive and express are the ‘crucial intangible affectors’ of our mind consciousness. Emotions are our best friends but if handled carelessly, emotions can be our worst enemies. It happens when we do not have mastery over a language we use for communication. That is why, we all need to be deft handlers of our emotions, especially the emotion of love as it is an expression of our wellness poise.

Wellness is a function of wider poise of person and personality, which includes factors not only cognitive but also emotional. Wellness is the core emotion, the guiding energy of all pursuits of life. Love is the ‘powerful media’ of the larger emotion of wellness. Nothing is worth a penny, if it does not anyway enhance our overall wellness-quotient. Love as a ‘media’, as a beautiful and fruitful energy of wellness fails, if we handle it badly and if we are in unprepared state of mind consciousness.

A person is supposed to be in complete wellness when there is a balance, poise and perfect homeostasis, between the cognitive factors such as income, wealth, comfort, leisure and health as well as emotional factors such as trust, security, integration with family-friends-colleagues, connectivity, stability, sense of desirability and spiritual purpose, etc.

Love, like wellness is also not a singular and isolated emotion. It is a function of so many cognitive and emotional factors. Often, we have a tendency to see and accept only partial aspect of love and wellness. In addition, the two elements may culturally be referred as separate elements but are essentially two sides of the same coin of life. Love is the core prerequisite of larger wellness and wellness alone ensures the onset of the rainbowish colors of love and intimacy. It is our design.

Somehow, it is always easy to ‘show off’ something, hard to actually have them. Love, like wellness can be flamboyantly exhibitionist; it often is. However, to actually have wellness and love is tough and not given to showmanship or one-upmanship.

Deodorant makes one look ‘fresh’, he or she may not have taken bath for days. Exhibitionism is ‘virtual’ realism only. Real wellness, like real love is enduring and seldom tangibly demonstrative. Love, like wellness is intangible realism, not amenable for tantrums of tangibility.

Both love and wellness are emotions needing sincere and disciplined internalization. That is why; we have to be in ‘receptive-mode’ consciousness, the moment we are in love. True love shall never ever be friends with ‘reactive-mode’ consciousness. All wellness mechanisms need to be receptively taken in by a conscious mind and then absorbed and internalized deeply to make it a habit of the sub-consciousness.

We all have experienced it that prayers are just catalytic tools of the internalization of deeper faith in God. Prayers need to be internalized so that God becomes a part of our subconscious. The consciousness needs churches and temples, as well as prayers and other rituals only until faith is internalized.

Once love and wellness become part of our subconscious, we shall need no conscious and external expression of them as love and wellness shall become our instinctive habit. All other intangibles, like happiness and prosperity are internalized the same way.

That is why, love, like wellness needs loads of patient and persevered preparedness. This is however, one part of love. The second part is ensuring that your own readiness has a ‘match’ in the person, whom you make the ‘centre’ of your love expressions. This special someone needs to be in the same higher consciousness as you to have the fruition and utility of love.

The person, you love, has to be in perfect and profound wellness poise, otherwise, he or she shall never be in a consciousness of complete and perfect assimilation and integration, which love’s mutuality shall demand.

We have talked about how love is an expression of one’s ‘self’, seeking extension of its wellness homeostasis in the larger milieu. The person you love is not some other subject or object you think you hold dear and like. The fact is – the person you love is essentially the image of your own subject, your own self or consciousness, seeking another medium than your own body-mind to extend its domain. This is the expression of your intangible homeostasis need. It is therefore only natural that he or she, whom you love has to be a willing and highly navigable media, for easy and smooth assimilation into your ‘self-image’.

When two people in love are two brilliant, settled, poised, navigable, compassionately accommodative and malleable ‘media’, it shall be smooth and systemic assimilation of the two ‘selfs’ and two shall finally evolve to become one singular and symmetrical consciousness. This is the true success of love.

Only two higher consciousnesses can merge and melt into one consciousness. When this merger and assimilation happens, the two separate and exclusive ‘wellness needs’ become one singular and larger homeostasis. This ‘homeostatic love’ can never fail, it shall be an infinite success symmetry.

The onus of all these beautiful processes and evolution for the ultimate success of the ‘venture of love’ is on you. It is first your own preparedness, your own readiness for the start of the ‘venture’. It is also your responsibility to ensure that your special someone is also in the same state of readiness.

Always remember, success of any venture depends first on your ‘product’. Secondly, your product may be brilliant and of high value but no utility and value is universal. Only those shall buy and appreciate your product who have the similar need and taste for your product. It is therefore a venture owner’s onus to ensure both – the quality and sincerity of product as well as that of the target customer.

Never ever take love casually. You already know it, how love is so intrinsically and cardinally associated with your wellness poise. Love’s success can make your life. However, if love flops, it has a calamitous impact on you as it has the fatal effect of threatening your wellness homeostasis, which is essentially your larger sense of survival.

The person you once loved, unconsciously becomes part of your ‘self’. Even if you consciously choose to dump him or her out of your life and memory; your subconscious mind can never do it. Because; he or she becomes an ingrained elemental need of your socio-biological and psychological homeostasis. A flopped love has calamitous impact on your long-term wellness as it hugely unsettles your overall homeostasis. That is why, you have to be in a state of total and perfect readiness before you venture out for love.

Love Wisdom – 5

The body is both a canvas and paintbrush. It is a mystical mechanism of creating ‘paintings’ within mind-consciousness. The template it paints is truly magical and intangibly mystical. Love creates master as well as masterpieces within.

Cyclicality Of Love’s Dualism

This whole conundrum is all about something, which is probably the best faculty available with humans or, one can even say that this is the chief trouble for not only the humanity but all living and non-living entities in the cosmos.

This consciousness is such a powerful thing that there are only extremes associated with it – it is either the best thing or the worst. This extreme makes conflict of ideas. Many believe, as it is something so great, it must have been given by God to humanity. Others, who believe it is something of a huge trouble, are prompt to accept that such a thing could only be a slow and prolonged growth through various stages of the stupid energy of evolution.

Let us not be embroiled in this debate.

The far better and enjoyable option is to understand and relish the art and science of ‘consciousness’ in an integrative, assimilative and holistic way. Who gave us this consciousness, God or evolution, hardly matters. What matters is what and how we all do with it and about it. This consciousness has made many of our great ancestors create such wisdom for us that if we understand and use them in a way that have been prescribed, we all can find true joy and satisfaction and can make this world a better place to live.

We all know; there is wider acceptance about the dualistic nature of the consciousness. Thousands of years back, the early wisdom in ancient religious books also admit the dualism of consciousness. The prescription in almost all religion has been to lead the consciousness from this dualism to an exalted position of non-dualism. Later wisdoms as philosophy and psychology also speak of the same. The issues of dualism and non-dualism are however very poorly understood notions, as the debate about consciousness rages on and the core questions are still unanswered.

Try to understand it and to be able to do so, we do not have a better tool than Love! Love is something so intrinsic that every human being experiences it. It is a primary emotion that is now considered to be a wired realism for humanity. Yet, the best and most exalted form of love is an evolved and nurtured feeling. That is why; Love is the best tool to understand the core and cardinal idea of dualism and non-dualism. Divinity also provides us similar tools to unravel this non-dualism to us; however, love is definitely easier option. Those who can understand the non-dualism through love, can easily extend this idea to divinity.

Love and its dynamics are easy tools to understand how consciousness travels in different dimensions and how it keeps evolving to newer and higher planes in a typical wave-particle dualism of the cherished quantum consciousness.

We all are born with a consciousness, which looks like a non-dualistic consciousness as we are just and singularly only and purely ‘instinctive’. A newborn has a singular consciousness of pure ‘nature’ as the forces of ‘nurture’ are still not fully operative on the newly born. This state is not static as gradually, nurture unleashes its forces and the growing up baby has dualistic consciousness.

The nature and nurture cyclicality makes dualism of consciousness happen. The newborn is nothing but a consciousness of love. The newborn with non-dualistic consciousness is somehow only love but this is not the non-dualism, which wisdom of all genres accepts as something pure and desirable!

The child grows and finally imbibes all those ideas and emotions that nurture of a particular time-space linearity has to offer. The dualism gets more defined and the requirements and challenge of acquiring a non-dualistic consciousness gets more and more difficult and conflicting. The grown up child, well in his or her teens and youth still loves and feels far more energetic, keen and passionate for giving and getting love. It is because, his or her ‘self-image’ grows.

However, this is the worst time-space situation for him or her to be able to do so as his or her love is in the troubled realm of stark dualism. This dualism makes love more intense but more instable and conflicting too. This love has to reach a stage of non-dualism, which is now a tough ask as the grown up man or woman cannot revert to the intrinsic and singular non-dualistic love of a newborn. This is because, the forces of nature have given space to nurture in a big way and the person, torn between the two forces of nature and nurture is a classical case of a dualistic consciousness, which the ancient wisdom calls as maya.

The maya is all about the dualism of consciousness, the unsure and fluctuating domain of conflicting consciousness torn between the powerful forces of nature and nurture. The person in the midst of the dynamics of maya has a dualistic consciousness, which makes him, or her see myriads of realism and still he or she is not sure, which is the realism he or she should accept as singular and right one. We have talked in details about maya in the title named ‘Maya And Leela: Utility In Life’s Futility’.

The ancient wisdom says, sooner the person comes out of the dualism into the newly evolved and exalted position and situation of non-dualism, better off he or she is. The prescription in ancient wisdom is, “Blessed is he who came into being before he came into being.” This very prescription speaks of two core and cardinal processes of the evolution of consciousness.

First, it says, there are two stages of ‘coming into being’. That is, there are two stages of arriving at your consciousness. One is non-dualistic and another dualistic. Secondly, it says, it is a cyclic process. You arrive with something and after traversing a long journey reach back to the same stage. That is, starting from non-dualism, traversing various dimensions of dualism and then attaining the stage of higher non-dualism. However, the two forms of non-dualism, one at the start and another at the other end of journey are similar but not the same. The non-dualism after the cyclic journey is the pure and exalted one and the one at the start was not.

The prescription is; those who are blessed ones arrive at non-dualism of second stage before they arrive at the non-dualism of first stage. In philosophy, this dualism is expressed in the quote – “Child is the father of a man”. This however is an idealism. For common human being, the cyclic evolution is the only process available. The kid’s love has to evolve through the love of a young one and then reach at the love of a person who has it as pure, innocent and as sublime as the one he was born with but having completed the cyclic journey of dualism.

The process looks so simple and it seems this cyclic evolution of consciousness is an automatic one, available for all. The reality is far from it. This is just a prescribed route for all but only a few reach destinations following the route. The journey of dualism devours and dissipates a majority of humans. And, as modern cultural forces makes the journey of dualism far more intense, conflicting and over-empowering, it is now far more difficult for average humans to reach the ultimate positioning of the exalted non-dualism.

Love in contemporary culture, across the globe is the best and easiest parameter to understand the core and cardinal challenge for consciousness. In modern world, love everywhere is in the critical and conflicting domain of dualism. That is why; seldom, love exists and stays in its true form. The love one sees in the pop culture is dualistic. The man who proposes the love is not non-dualistic and that’s why he is offering love that is exposed to and mired with the conflict and dualism of nurture and confused nature. The woman who receives Love is far more in conflict and dualism.

The current century has witnessed men a bit improved from their archaic troubled positions. They remain true to their instincts yet, improved slightly in their nurtured consciousness, as times have changed. The women, especially in modern urban and liberal societal milieu are fast losing their natural and instinctive position, as defined traditionally and the contemporary nurture has landed them in a new situation they are still not in good terms with. Therefore, the dualism in women is far more chaotic, conflicting and instable compared to men. That is why; love is a casualty more in the hands of women today. Once again, it need be repeated – it is not a blame rather just a statement of possible realism!

It has to be understood with an objective consciousness, which is tough. A man usually approaches a woman with love as he always had. He finds the response to his love now largely at variance with what he earlier got. Because, the woman who receives his love, offers her far more conflict and dualism that she usually used to do. This has got to do with nurture changes that women have undergone in the last half a century. This is no blame game but just a statement of probabilistic factualism. Debates can be unending!

Somewhere, the old ‘poise’ of man-woman love has gone missing. Naturally, there emerges a tendency among men to look for this ‘missing’ thing in many ways. The balance has gone missing and the search for the missing from both ends, create such varied and experimental structures, which soon becomes a cultural rule or gets enhanced societal desirability and acceptability. The dualism of love becomes beyond redemption and non-dualism of love becomes an extinct possibility.

The love-debacle is just one aspect of human consciousness, which has gone beyond the possibility of a prescribed and ideal stage of non-dualism. In modern contemporary world, the dualism of human consciousness has been so much exacerbated and conflicted that now it seems almost impossible for someone to attain the idealism of the non-dualism.

The forces of culture and nurture are so powerful and so highly conflicting and chaotic that the dualism of consciousness is getting more intense and centripetal. The cherished energy powering the cyclic journey of first stage of non-dualism through the dualism to make it arrive at the exalted non-dualism of highest order has become so dissipated and disheveled that it is making human consciousness its favored prey.

Love Wisdom – 6

All brilliant, overwhelming and beautifully self-negating emotions and experiences of life are those ‘intangibles’, which are engendered ‘instinctively’ though the functioning of ‘tangibles’. Love portrays the joys of this rainbowish dualism best.

Delving Deep Into ‘Whys’ And ‘Hows’ of Love

Knowing, why and how about what is there to be known is a huge facility. Not all would admit that. It is definitely not easy, if not cumbersome to invest time and resources on this process and mechanism.

Moreover, for ages, our minds have been trained to see and accept only ‘whats’ and often we are told by mentors and guardians not to ‘waste time’ in endeavors to know ‘whys’ and ‘hows’! They were probably right as there was actually no reliable, measurable and provable answers about the ‘whys’ and ‘hows’!

Now, after centuries of hugely sacrificing and compassionate efforts by many great minds, we have good measure of satisfactory and provable knowledge of the mechanisms and the processes. It is really interesting as well as profitable to know about them and use the ‘new thinking’ and ‘new wisdom’ to know in detail about almost everything, which we have been used to accepting without really bothering to ask, ‘why and how’!

Almost all men would ask, ‘why the women are like that’, irrespective of them being in love with a woman or not. The wisest and best of the counsel they all would get from mentors and peers is, ‘only God knows the answer, so better accept what is there!’ This weird advocacy would come, as people did not know the mechanism and processes that go on to create a consciousness called woman!

Scientific evidences suggest, the reason should be looked into the thousands of years of evolution which engendered brain and sensory mechanisms in woman in a particular way and as these mechanisms are part of the wiring, or what they call genetic programming, most women would behave true to their instincts and wired consciousness!

Sample this. Most men would complain that women are so prone to seeing a simple thing as a complex issue and would unnecessarily or even naggingly, go into the trivial and finicky aspects of a particular issue or problem.

It is a saying, ‘men see straight and simple, women see curved and particular’. This is a huge trouble-tweet between the two genders that have been designed and evolved to live in peaceful and compatible co-existence. But they don’t!

Delve deeper into the aspects of ‘why and how’. The mechanism makes both of them stand in better stead! It needs to be understood. Evolution has shown us that most morphological as well as behavioral traits we humans developed since thousands of years come from what is now known as ‘sexual selection’. Evolution has been a function of natural selection as well as sexual selection but the later was most dominant force in later years of evolution as humans conquered many aspects of nature’s troubles.

The sexual selection is mostly a tool at the hands of females of a species. What we see as culture in human societies are mostly a process and mechanism of sexual selection as preferred and professed by women. The women, thousands of years back developed this social trait of nag, fussiness and adherence to trivial details. All this is a beautiful and very fruitful energy for both men and women. This energized many a suitable survival changes for humanity at large.

Scientific evidences suggest; very early in human evolution, women needed men as fathers of their child who were more considerate, compassionate and loyal. They still want the same. They devised a way and this became the tool for sexual selection of partners for women. Women found that those men, who were genetically inclined to pay attention to trivial details and were less agitated about unnecessary burdens on them, proved compassionate and loyal partners.

For this simple reason, women chose those men who had far more facial and body hair as this was a clear signal that such men were genetically suitable for mating. Even recent surveys showed, it is still true with most women. The simple genetic logic was, ‘if the man has so much extra energy and tolerance for something as silly and useless as body hair, he shall also be considerate and compassionate towards so many other uninteresting and cumbersome things which he shall have to as a father and good husband.’

Still, women would prefer a man who is less rich but given to a habit of feeding grains every morning to birds and squirrels than the one who is richer but screams at birds and squirrels for landing their shits on his precious car. You bet!

The simple goodness is in accepting this intangible mechanism and the beneath the skin ‘genetic logic’ and then move on to an inculcated or cultural trait that works fine for you. The men must understand the mechanism and suitably alter their behavior and action towards women.

Pick up flowers randomly and make it a bunch for your woman telling her that you wandered miles in the wood to pick them up for her and she shall be the happiest. No, please do not do that ever! Be genuine. Knowing the mechanism does not anyway license you to become fox-smart and indulge in ingenuity. This ingenuity of men has been responsible for the massacre of innocence in women. Now men rue the loss!

Always be genuinely simple and innocent before your woman. Be warned, women are genetically empowered to sniff out any fake or tricky ingenuity. If you love your woman, even if you do not, be genuine and always be true in your concern for her instinctive and innate urges and traits. Just do simple things, help her when she puts up a silly bargain in a shop and if not then at least do not get pissed. Just look concerned and interested. Appreciate when she overstresses herself over some trivial issue and make a case for simple thinking much later, when you have landed enough kisses on her lips and put her in a level mind, closing her as tight as possible in your embrace!

Women on their part should do their bit. They also need to accept and understand their instinctive and genetic consciousness. We live in a different world now. Women now have better tools for sexual selection and they are definitely more empowered. A hairy man may not be the right idea now as he might have hygiene issues! Therefore, a shaved and clean face and armpit man may be a better choice. You decide! Definitely, when things change in time and space scales, human culture also changes and a suitable change in instinctive action and behavior would surely help!

Scientists have been cautioning that an average human mind is still carrying loads of such instinctive choices and preferences, which were required thousands of years back and are now not only obsolete rather a huge burden for personal as well as societal growth and wellness. Both men and women need to prune the obsolete instincts and replace them with behavioral choices suitable for modern life and living to enhance wellness.

The non-dualistic love however shall always remain something both men and women should look for in selection of any relationship. When a man is in love, in true sense of non-dualism, he ceases to be a man itself! So does women! The gender logic melts in love and absolute intimacy. Experience it yourself!

When you are in true love and absolute intimacy, you do not see inside-out, rather start seeing outside-in! You and your ‘self’ become secondary and primary thing become she and ‘herself’. This is similar with women.

To explain non-dualistic love in terms of mechanism; it has now been established that when you love somebody truly, your consciousness shifts to a new plane. Usually, in both men and women, it is the top part of brain, the cortex area, which does most of thought and decision-making processing. However, it has now been proved that when you love, your cortex part of the brain stops functioning. The lower brains, the thalamus areas take over the consciousness and this part is purely and singularly instinctive and non-dualistic.

When they say, ‘love is blind’, the actual meaning is, ‘love makes subjective logic and thinking shut down’. The fact is; the cortex part of the brain is largely the ‘cultural mind’ and the source of all dualism in human consciousness. As love lands you in pure and exalted instinct, you start to see things in singularity and non-dualism. This your mechanism facilitates for you.

The mechanism has been designed over thousands of years for such facilitation. For example, it is known to all that a child can learn so many things faster and better than grownups. The reason is in mechanism. It is essential for the survival of all newborns, especially of a human newborn to learn fast so that the kid is quickly adjusted to his environment. This ensures higher chances for survival and later excellence.

To ensure that, brain formation is done fast and good even at conception levels. In the first month following conception, the cells in the neural tube start to multiply at an astonishing rate, reaching a maximum of 250,000 neurons a minute. Most of the brain’s lifetime supply of cells is produced by six months. By birth the brain has developed the total 100 billion brain cells, or ‘neurons’, it possesses.

By eight months of age the average infant, living in a stimulating, secure and loving environment, will have sparked 500 trillion of neural connections. By the age of two, an infant has developed around 1000 trillion of these connections. By the age of 18 the number of connections has been reduced to around 500 trillion - the same number the young adult had as an 8-month old.

As we learn and accept the intricacies of the processes and mechanisms of human body, we all become more and more aware and intelligent about ‘how’ and ‘why’ we are ‘what’ we are. This helps in a big way understanding our instinctive self and then, it is easy and clear as to how and why we all have to introduce behavioral and actionable changes in these genetic inclinations to attain larger excellence in not only our relationships but also in all aspects of our interaction with the larger society.

Knowing is always better, though cumbersome at times!

Love Wisdom – 7

Ingredients of Child’s Love: Innocence (80%), Trust (20%), Intelligence (0%)

Ingredients of Mature Love: Innocence (0%), Trust (20%), Intelligence (80%)

Conclusion – Trust quotient remaining the same, Love is a function of Innocence.

Of God’s Sons And Daughters!

Often, the gender discussion hovers around the term, man and woman. The gender discourse is restricted to the domain of man-woman complementarities and competitions. The ideal terms of reference, however seems to be, masculinity and feminity – of not only humanity but all species.

Since ages, some of the truly arrived people have always prescribed humanity to widen its worldview to assign equal weight and assimilation of all creatures living on earth. However, it is only natural that in all such discourse about masculinity and feminity, the issue restricts down to just man-woman entities. This itself kills the utility of any worthwhile discourse.

The archetypal idea of humans being planted by Gods on earth as part of some ‘larger design’ is at the core of this ‘limited worldview’ and this narcissism of counting only humans as something different from all other species on earth.

Evolution, in its very modern and objective factuality, is never seeing human species as entirely different and alien from other species. Humans as a species, is a result of billions of years of evolution is one idea, which is not accepted by humans in general in its intelligent discourses about gender issues.

It seems like, any discourse on man-woman entities cannot be holistically and meaningfully attempted, if it is restricted only to human race and ideas from all other species are not accommodated and assimilated as of equal relevance.

Interestingly, when it comes to accepting the ‘utility’ part of scientific advancement, in the form of technology and other human-use benefits, we accept the idea of evolution and its premise that humanity has evolved out of a chain of species over billions of years.

Most medicines, other medical cures, even some psychological theories are derived from first applying them on other species – rats and guinea pigs, etc. Pure Science has developed many solutions for humanity after finding huge similarities of humans with other species. Social sciences are however, happy believing humans as something aloof and away from other species.

One of the most crucial discourse of humanity today – the gender discourse too is afflicted with this same ‘partisan worldview’. That is why, the holism, which is required for understanding the gender discourse is always missing.

However, there is another trouble. Humans may love their pets and love to use animal products in big way, they feel insulted and dismayed at being compared to them. Humans are happy to use animal names as insults and abuse-words for other humans.

Humans think of themselves as sons and daughters of Gods but this same entitlement is not extended to other creatures. All religions admit that God is in all creatures and in almost all things – living or non-living. Still, a man is God’s son, but an insect is not.

Science would say, though not with authoritative surety that humans still have genes of their nocturnal predecessors of millions of years ago, very few humans would accept it. It is really very degrading, even for very intelligent ones, to see himself or herself as one in line with creatures like ape, reptiles and insects.

As we do not accept ourselves in an assimilative and holistic approach with all other creatures of the world, we fail to accept the missing fact that all questions and issues of humanity are millions of years old as they did not emanate now or few hundred years back. They came to fore when DNA was created and life-forms picked up on earth.

As, science has very recently been offering knowledge about the mechanisms of universe and human evolution, we are now first time in the history of civilizations, at a point where we can objectively, easily and happily see and accept the entire universe and all life-forms in single, assimilative and holistic perspective.

The first issue of human discourse, therefore is this issue of ‘assimilative and holistic worldview. All other issues like gender discourse shall automatically fall in line with the singularity of solutions, which this new worldview shall come up with.

Metaphorically, there are only two competing genders – one is energy and second is system (mechanism). For artistic and symbolic convenience, we can say, energy is masculine and system is feminine. Let us not push in the ‘human question’ of whether energy is better and important or the system! The question is useless.

The idealism is – system can be successful only when it has the will and skill to discipline the energy. Similarly, energy can be productive only when it operates through a system, which has larger capacity for constructive and creative use of energy for larger wellness.

Evolution tells us – this symbiosis is crucial but always ephemeral as nature is so positioned that the poise and order between ‘energy’ and ‘system’ is itself constantly evolving – towards good or bad. The idealism is always missing.

The modern, aware and endowed humanity, with objective and scientific worldview can attain this ‘missing’ poise and live in sufficient peace and wellness. The question is – can humanity attain this required ‘worldview’?

Love Wisdom – 8

No one can ‘teach’ anyone; everyone however, can ‘learn’ as, former is a reactive-situation; later a ‘receptive’ consciousness positioning. Love lands you in absolute reception of wisdoms as you excel as master internalizer.

As She Undoes It, You Focus On Doings

Acceptance somehow works magic for compatibility and cooperation. Different entities may not necessarily be competitive as complementarities are better with distinct things.

Once we admit with affection and compassion that men and women have been designed differently by evolution forces and this distinction was actually very suitable for the intrinsic good and wellness of humanity, we are all well off.

Now, science has proved that women brain has distinct make up. In simple words, women have this area responsible for language and expressions in both left and right lobes of their brain, whereas, men have only on one side.

It is truly beautiful to see, understand and accept that women have to be different from men and must have different somethings from men as it enhances survival and excellence of humanity as a whole. Women have different sensitivities and she expresses them in her own distinct ways…

So, when she is saying, when she wants you to listen, cease to be a man with a man’s instinct, rather become a man with a kid’s sensitivities. Accept her uniqueness with innocence and love her sensitivities, as it would land you in good stead too.

Pamper her, prompt her, take her in, kiss her eyes and tresses, navigate your touches through her chiseled undulations to facilitate her golden and honey-dew expressions. Evolution may be a stupid engineering, yet in has created two very complementing entities of male and female.

So, when your woman is expressing her sensitivities, her concerns or simply wishing to have her words, treat her as an angel and be extra inventive and even artistic in loving her. She needs it and deserves it.

Let her talk, you better zero in your energies on making her feel, she is the princess of your life. Keep looking in her eyes, kiss her lips often to thank her for her words, keep her silky frame warm in your embrace, to say a wordless thanks.

You actually do a favor not to her, but yourself as through her sensitivities, she is making a man out of you. A man creates utility and worth only because he has a woman accepting them all. Blame it on evolution, which created this mechanism. Humanity thriving for millions of years only corroborates – this mechanism is good and useful.

Love Wisdom – 9

Some think love is recreation; others take it as passion, mission, submission or admission. Love however is what it is – A Superposition.

The ‘Mystery’ Of Being A Woman

One of the top scientists of our time has given billions of men a reason to smile and be proud of what they always thought was the ‘right’ state of reality. Stephen Hawkins said sometime back he believed women as ‘complete mystery’ and his mind; which did a glorious lot in unraveling the mysteries of universe; was preoccupied by this mystery called women.

Men all ages and across geographical boundaries have believed this since ages and they have since long almost made their women also somehow accept that being ‘mysterious’ is very nearly a much-required feminine trait. Naturally, the neo-feminist movement looks so hell-bent to pull this tag off in as many ways as the cultural environments of their places allow them to.

If things are seen from mind perspective, mystery is in the mind of the person who believes something as mysterious as mystery is only till mind accepts it otherwise, which was always there even when the person accepted it as mysterious. Like, a man who has not seen a murder happening shall always accept ‘the murderer’ as a mystery but another person who was a witness to the murder shall never say so. Even when someone did not see the murderer, the murderer shall always remain a reality, because, murder is a reality for all. Mystery is on the side of those minds who do not know yet.

The point is, mystery is not on the side of women, they are what they are as something very real and anything but mysterious but men shall always call women ‘mysterious’ as if they still don’t know them but would someday, like the mysteries of cosmos!

Almost all credit of making women mysterious goes to men. Almost all societal, cultural and behavioral benchmarks for women were made by them. Since long, art, literature, sculpture and even scientific research have been all man-initiatives. What men created for women to follow had their natural hypocrisies and internal confusion about what they wanted from ‘their’ own women and ‘other’ women. This naturally had to reflect on women’s behavior as they accepted and behaved the way the dominant men-folk prescribed and commanded.

This issue is so vast and complicated to understand but find a reflection of this hypocrisy and conflict in men which made women ‘mysterious’ by the following example. Men wished ‘their’ women to be within confines of homes and live in veils. They imposed all possible etiquettes on them to keep away from freely mingling with men in society and even in family.

The men then themselves wrote loads and loads of poetry and verses complaining, lovingly or otherwise, about the ‘indifference, coyness and flinching loyalty’ of the women. The center of their energy was ‘other’ women. The father and husband wanted their women to be what men as lovers, pursuers and otherwise grumbled about. The women of those times had to adjust their stifled consciousness between the two conflicting benchmarks.

It was only natural that this dualism made women never a linear personality but a zigzag one. The men would naturally be confounded and they ended up covering their disgust and frustration by calling women ‘mysterious’.

Scientists now admit; all men start as ‘female’ brain as they are born but since ages, a woman’s brain has been vastly conditioned by what the ‘male’ brain wished. So, if women minds are ‘mysterious’ it is only because since ages, male minds have made them a ‘free for all laboratory’ of their own hypocrisies, conflicts and cunning inventiveness for personal gains.

Look at the history of mankind. All male adventures and misadventures have invariably resulted in adding a hell lot of conflicts and chaos in the lives of their women folks. Men shall win wars and women shall be raped and acquired as loot money. Men would lose wars and their women shall commit suicides. A man becomes successful, winner and mighty and he creates a huge harem for himself. A man loses and he shall make the lives of his women worse than those in harems. The men should actually ask, “Why are they the most mysterious creatures on earth?”

Still, globally, especially in the underdeveloped and developing societies, majority of women have one common enemy that is making their lives hell. It is ‘conflict’, which has since ages defined womanhood. The modern women too seem not better off as it is not easy to unwire the brain that has been fed with so much of conflicts for so long. It will take time for a real and true women brain, sans classical mind socialization to come and define women.

Actually, the human brain itself is in continuous evolution and the process is on for almost four million years now. Those were very uncertain and transition phase for humanity and it was only very natural for even the males to behave and act as they did. There is certainly no need for a blame game now. The need is to correct the archetypal stereotypes.

Even hundreds of years back, those men, who had the wisdom to understand life and its goodness, they were good and understood their women perfectly. They respected the individuality of all women, their or others. Today, the numbers of such men have increased but still, lots of brain evolution in most humans, men or women has to take shape.

It is very simple thing to understand, all humans are born as ‘female’ brain. Brain functioning is shaped very partly by genes but mostly by external environment in which the brain functions. The external environment has since ages been male-dominated and still is largely, in varying degrees across the globe.

The behavioral aspects of a male or female brain are a societal and collective product. This product shape has to be what a male viewpoint is. Therefore, if men say, women are mysterious; they must look to resolve the mystery by asking themselves and looking inside their own brains.

If one could accept a woman as a neutral mind and could see through their minds, they would find nothing mysterious. If one could also see the history and cultural shades inside women’s mind, one would never find them mysterious. They could be uncertain, unsure, insecure, conflicting and even stupid at times as men could also be, but never ‘mysterious’.

If you have a mature and evolved male brain, you can easily deconstruct a woman’s mind and when you do it with great admiration, respect and innocent objectivity, you shall find women anything but mystery.

You can easily see through their minds and find that as usual, in a woman’s mind, there are lots of histogenetic shades and contemporary societal impressions as well as colors of individual choices, as is evident in any brain, irrespective of gender divide.

And, if you believe firmly in the beauty of an unjudgmental mind, you shall find all women very beautifully predictable in all their unpredictabilities. This is no ‘mystery’, this is life and living and its garden of gorgeously stunning possibilities and choices, it is women.

Love Wisdom – 10

Lovers say, ‘I love you’ and joyously believe, it has taken place. This ‘illusion’ is the initial joy in love, but an ultimate calamity.

Men Are Men, They Must Lead The Change

The markets never fail to push this idea that ‘men are men’. However, as against the advert, the real men are a confounded lot. They ask, ‘what’s actually being a man and what’s so wrong being a man?’ The feminist psychologists are out with the jury, labeling modern man still being influenced by his ‘cave-man-gene’ and still not being in perfect tune with realities that the female world has evolved to.

The men are the confounded lot; they surely are when it comes to assessing their women. The men always have believed women are mysterious and this belief now has more elements of certainty. The men all over the world, especially in more urban-centric developed nations, where modernity has far more changes in women than men, find their women more mysterious. The men are confounded and ask why?

This is where the men go wrong and women probably say rightly that ‘men are men’. They should not ask ‘why’ but should always ask, ‘how’. Changes are evolutionary and when they happen, the smart way is to know ‘how’, never ask ‘why’. The universality and inevitability of change answers all ‘whys’. The solution is in knowing, accepting and appreciating ‘how’.

This cannot be avoided and wished away. Already too much damage has been done and it is men who have to come around to the changes that are wreaking havoc on social fabric. Developed societies fear, as the divorce rate is already half the marriage rate, what is in store for future? That is, half the marriages are failing and that too in quick time. In addition, domestic violence and intimate relationship violence are hitting all time high figures. In urban spaces of most developing nations, the gender conflict has already well into initial gender war, with growing rates of crimes and atrocities against women.

There is a lot that has happened in the female world and that too very fast. However, the man’s intuitive nature and his instincts have not yet evolved. Probably, will not in any near future. It takes years of socialization for any minor change in one’s intuitive behavior pattern. Recent researches have confirmed, female evolution has been better compared to men.

The changes in the environment of females are all too drastic and men feel at loss because they do not know, often not willing to accept, how these changes happened and how to deal with them. Acceptance is the first prerequisite of any meaningful change in male behavior pattern.

Things have almost taken a U-turn for men. Until a few decades back, men would go to work and women folks would be in exclusive charge of the families and household. The men would face the rigors of the work place and when they would come back to home, they would expect their women to be nice, soft, sweet and caring. The women were their wellness-recharge mechanism.

The men always said, ‘they can face the war with the world and still win it if their women supported them back home’. This has happened since thousands of years. Men still expect the same. It is part of their cultural mind and ingrained deep in the intuitive consciousness too. There is nothing wrong about expecting this. However, the evolution has added another equal face to this.

The women today are writing their success stories at work places. They are almost facing the same crisis and conflicts, which men faced since ages in the outer world of work and success. The women too are in huge need of a ‘wellness-recharge’ mechanism, which they had successfully provided to men for ages. They are now in a stage of living choices where they expect men at home to do the same for them. And why not? Home and family have always been this wellness-recharge mechanism. The trouble is, as both men and women are now busy and successful in their respective work places, there is no one back home to handle successfully this age-old role of the wellness-recharge provider.

It has to be understood and accepted. Everyone, be it a male or female, has a limit to his or her goodness. You need a lot of goodness and wellness emotional intelligence at your work place for success and achievement. It is a two-way process. You give a lot of goodness and wellness at an outside environment only when you get it replenished by your family members and especially spouse.

We are now all nuclear families where the entire support system boils down to one person, the wife or the husband. Therefore, every wife and every husband has a lot of and exclusive performance pressure of being the replenish-agent of the precious goodness and wellness.

We all live in a very fast-paced and over-stressed life and living milieu. We are all starved for time. There is an epidemic level crisis of intimacies in relationships, especially between spouses, as we do not have enough leisure and rest. Already, a section of psychologists in America are warning of a huge crisis of ‘sex-less marriages’ and labeling it as cause number one for estrangements between spouses. The intimacy-starved relationships have triggered off the looming crisis of intimacy-anorexia.

Men need to be more proactive and rational in understanding the crisis as women are now in state of relative insecurity and big transition. This is so because they are up against the established norms. They may not right now understand the ‘process of evolution’ as they are more concerned in making a space for themselves in the universe of success and achievements where men ruled for centuries.

Men will have to be appreciative of the fact that the modern times are the times of reciprocal and equitable aspirations between man and woman. Men need to relook at women, their newfound personalities and their emotional as well as intelligence needs in the changed milieu.

This is just a simple case of understanding ‘how’ of an evolutionary reality of our times and just be a bit more appreciative. Both husband and wife need to talk on this issue. As men and women share their joint responsibilities at home, they must also take turns in being ‘wellness-recharge’ for each other.

And, as this happens, do also ensure that sex may be postponed between couples but intimacy must not wait. A daily dose of intimacy and that too a large one between couples is a sure wellness-recharge technique. Men are men, so they must take lead not only at work place but surely also at home.

Love Wisdom – 11

Every person is a ‘potential’, however, we insist to see him or her as a ‘possibility’. A person’s utility and worth need be accepted independent of his or her possible success or failure as friend, lover et al. It is like wearing a red-tinted glass to accept a potato as a tomato. Trouble is with neither eyes nor vegetables; it is with our mind positioning.

Cyclicality Of Causality Of Wellness

There is this huge and very complex connect and symbiotic cyclicality around every one of us. This surely is a colossal structure of wellness-support-system nature has provided to all of us, which is so beautiful, dynamic and profitably productive that most of us humbly and affectionately accept it as ‘divinity and Godliness’.

We have always believed, thousands of years before science admitted it that everything, small or big, around us is connected and stand in some sort of causality and interlinked purposes. This has been designed in millions of years of evolution, through a series of accidents, which created such complex and colossal causality that most of us innately believe it to be ‘God’s own design’.

An individual, who is even far more inconsequential than a speck in the vast stretch of infinite-looking stretch of sea-beach, is also endowed with this natural mechanism of ‘divine wellness-support-system’. However, in our subjective and cultured consciousness, we often fail to sense out and refuse to configure this. Understanding this with humble and innocent conscious mind is a huge empowerment.

We all have to face the sad, bad, downcast and dreadful moments in life. This is primary cyclicality of this complex world we live in. Accepting this with objective and humble mind is first empowerment. When sad and down, everyone is immediately offered this natural wellness-support-system. Evolution may be a stupid engineering but it has its own beautiful marvels. Take a look:

A child of any species is the weakest and most vulnerable entity on earth. However, nature has designed this child in such beautifully amazing ways that it draws almost everyone to show love and care towards it. The grownups show a natural compassion and affection towards the child as they too have been designed this way. Ever wondered why? This is stupid engineering of evolution, designed accidently for survival.

Similar is the design for the old, diseased and people in extreme vulnerability. When someone becomes old, sick or otherwise in unhealthy shape of things, a particular hormone is produced by the body, which makes the affected person humble, compassionate and soft in all his or her behavior and actions. This ensures, all people around such affected person innately offer him or her, his or her best behavior and actions. Survival creates integrative cyclicality of causality.

This cyclicality of causality, which builds around us a natural wellness-support-system, is huge and very complex. All one needs to understand them with humble and innocent mind consciousness. Often, we do not do that. Rather, most of us, in our reactionary cultured consciousness, work towards negating this natural support.

When sad and down, the innate and instinctive mechanism hints us to become child-like so that the support system could start working. However, what most people do is just the reverse. The cultured mind overpowers the innate consciousness and we opt to cocoon ourselves in some self-designed world of psychosis.

The liberal and individualistic worldview has engendered an individual, which has become the ‘solo hero’ of all pursuits, attainments and achievements; often used to accepting oneself above social system and even at war with it. Naturally, the affected individual takes pride in waging a ‘lonely battle’ with his or her troubles. There is a growing tendency to involve people in joys and attainments but keep isolated when sad and down. This suits the ‘achiever’ inside cultural consciousness.

Please do accept humbly and innocently that isolation and keeping aloof from the natural support system of wellness is not an instinctive and innate positioning of your consciousness, it is purely a cultural one; that too a recent one. It is an unnatural societal and cultural benchmark of success and achievement to hide one’s troubles from people. The pop icons may opt to hush up when they go to a hospital as they are in this business of happiness. Not an average person.

Remember, how does a revolution happen? How big changes take place in societies against the prevailing powerful norms and benchmarks? Understand this energy. When one single pain and sorrow is owned and personalized by every single citizen of a nation or society; revolutions happen and are always successful. When an individual pain becomes a collective pain of millions and the emotions of millions become one single expression, revolutions happen and are always successful.

The trouble, we have in all societies and in all nations, emanate out of our cultural consciousness of being one and singular with collectivity only in our joys but never ever in pain. Revolutions and big changes have become extinct. They may look like beginning but die an infant death. We all as a collective have lost the innate magical art of merging our subjective and personalized consciousnesses into one singular, objective and collective consciousness at times of crisis and trouble.

We have stopped being natural and surrendered our consciousness to the popular cultural benchmarks, which stand as an unnatural and calamitous energy. We need to see this with an open eye and innocent hearts. We need to reinitiate and reinvent the art we have lost. Let your pain be my pain and be ever willing to reciprocate. Let the ‘divine wellness-support-system’ unravel its magic.

Yes, the start shall be very tough. Not many will accept to come up to share your pain, as this mind training to cocoon oneself in personal pains is a huge cultural benchmark of success and achievement. Most will initially call you a failure when you start sharing your pain with others. Things do not build in days; it shall take more time to un-build it. Learning is faster, unlearning is slow and difficult. Huge amount of patience is required. Winner has it in loads.

Over the years, most of us is modern, liberal, individualistic urbanized cultures have piled up huge loads of those age-old learning, which had to be unlearnt. In addition, fresh fill of popular benchmarks, which lead us away from our natural wellness-support-system have been added. This takes people away from ‘poise’ and lands them in psychosis.

The world around us is fast getting loaded with psychotic consciousnesses. It is rather interesting. There is a growing complaint that most people are presenting their fake personalities in social situations and the environment around is becoming replete with unnatural stuffs. Still, most would readily accept these fake and unnatural benchmarks. Populism is addictive and irrevocable iconism.

In contemporary modern world, may be, the real world has become so fake that people prefer to flock to the virtual world than be in real one! Even real personalities love to present and express themselves as virtual one. Almost all pop icons and their world transcend the real world parameters and truly reflect the virtual world, with loads of fairy-tale mystic. The fans follow icons.

Psychosis multiplies fast and sure. Gradually, the psychosis corrodes the distinction between the real and unreal. The psychotic consciousness finds wellness only in unreal or virtual world as the real world presents itself as ‘fake, tough and even brutal’. No doubt, the real world has almost lost its cherished wellness platform. It is tough even for a poised mind. The psychotic mind would definitely attempt to run away from real world’s troubles.

More and more people are also falling prey to some sort of intoxication. This only enhances psychosis. Then, there is this major trouble of fast-paced life, which does not allow psychosis a chance to revert to the poise position. Leisure is a key asset for humanity. We are fast losing this treasure. The pop benchmark hates leisure, as it extends the mind an excuse not to be reactive and instinctive.

The psychosis then is prone to fall prey to the unscrupulous elements within the larger world of mysticism. The psychotic mind has trouble deciphering the unreal from the real and that is why, mysticism lures such minds hugely. Mysticism provides an infinite realm of a suture zone between real and unreal. This suits the psychotic mind, which is desperately looking for an alternative wellness support system. The unscrupulous people profit.

The world of poised consciousness is worried. There is a fervent call to go back to where we started. This does not mean to go back to caves, as a psychotic mind thinks. The call is to simply ‘unlearn’ and be in unison with God’s own design.

This design has given us the natural wellness-support-system. This system is a must for perpetuity of the poise of our wellness – the homeostasis of body-mind consciousness. This system is automatically available to us if we do one simple thing. We present the face of our innocent love and absolute intimacy.

Love and intimacy is the wired, innate and intuitive mechanism coded deep within the DNA of our wellness homeostasis. In our dualistic consciousness, we keep procrastinating the innocence of the non-dualism of love and absolute intimacy.

Let this non-dualistic love and intimacy unravel its beautiful innocence and then watch, how brilliantly it facilitates the poise of wellness for all of us. Let us be in love and then let love and absolute intimacy melt us completely and finally make us love itself – the divine state of perpetuity of precious and pious poise.

#####

Accept My Gratitude

Writing something is a daunting task as there is always a lurking apprehension of it not being in utility for some readers. I however feel at ease, because of my faith in magnanimity of readers. I am happily sure; you shall forgive if my efforts could not be up to your expectations. Thank you so much for being with me and allowing me to share with you. Big thanks for your precious input in my charity, as all proceeds from my book sales go to charitable initiatives. Wish you an empowered life; with the prosperity of the consciousness.

About The Author

People say, what conspire to make you what you finally become are always behind the veil of intangibility. Someone called it ‘Intangible-Affectors’. Inquisitiveness was the soil, I was born with and the seeds, these intangible-affectors planted in me made me somewhat analytical. My long stint in media, in different capacities as journalist, as brand professional and strategic planning, conspired too! However, I must say it with all innocence at my behest that the chief conspirators of my making have been the loads of beautiful and multi-dimensional people, who traversed along me, in my life journey so far. The mutuality and innocence of love and compassion always prevailed and magically worked as the catalyst in my learning and most importantly, unlearning from these people. Unconsciously, these amazing people also worked out to be the live theatres of my experiments with my life’s scripts. I, sharing with you as a writer, is essentially my very modest way to express my gratitude for all of them. In my stupidities is my innocence of love for all my beautifully worthy conspirators!

Other Titles By Santosh Jha

Fiction:

Non-Fiction:

Do Write To Me.

sjwrite@gmail.com

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.08.2021

Nächste Seite

Seite 1 /