“Honey, are you ready?” Henry Shinkerman called to his wife. He carefully examined himself in the long oval mirror mounted by the door of their 317th floor apartment. His necktie began in a tidy knot that had tied itself just perfectly, but as always he was left to manually adjust the three buttons at its flared out bottom.

“I’ll be down in time!” The voice of his wife, Joanna, bounced down the stairs and Henry winced. He breathed deeply as he finished buttoning his tie, ensuring it would neither flap nor flip on the way to the car, which in turn would ensure that he wouldn’t hear any complaints about his unkempt appearance. No, today Henry looked absolutely perfect.

“Sweetheart, we have a long way to go, I don’t want to ruin our anniversary!” Henry blinked and checked the time on the clock inside his eyelid: 4:48PM, December 31st 2471. He sighed and reached into his coat pocket, then pulled out two slips of paper. The first was a reservation slip for dinner; the other was a receipt for work he’d recently ordered on the car. A grin crept across his face as he thought about the two new modifications; he couldn’t wait to try them out tonight. He had dropped the car at the shop nearly two weeks ago and Joanna picked it up just this morning.

“I’m ready, do you still love me?” Joanna glided down the stairs, her sculpted legs unmoving in the skin-tight dress that seemed painted over every curve from her sumptuous child-bearing hips to her flawlessly round and gravity-defying breasts. In every sense that one could observe with the eye, she was the perfect woman, and Henry knew in his wallet that she was the best that money could buy. He smiled as she floated down to him, her anti-gravity high-heels never touching the floor. He pulled her close and kissed her with forced affection.


“I will love you until the End of Time,” he said softly; then with a turn he formed his arm into a loop for her to hold onto and tugged open the front door. As the pair slipped quietly into the night, Henry admired the open sky and the billions of stars visible from this height. This will be a night to remember, He thought. In perfect gentlemanly fashion, Henry opened the door for his wife and helped her into the car, carefully closed it behind her and stepped to the other side. He pressed the accelerator and the car lifted off the parking platform.

They accelerated rapidly into the sky, hitting only a little turbulence along the way. Henry smiled over and again until he realized something was wrong. Inertia pressed the two back into their seats as the car accelerated all on its own, arcing up through the atmosphere as the speedometer ticked ever upward-70 Kilometers Per Second-73-75-78. “Oh crap, we have a problem!” Henry said as panic rose in his chest. Joanna grinned and said in her perfect voice, “Do we?” She clicked her tongue and giggled, then said with an unexpected bit of cheer, “I don’t think anyone here has a problem except for you”. And as the speedometer clicked upward, 84-85-86—87. She spoke with even more cheer as Henry stared at her in horrified disbelief, “Oh look dear, time’s almost up”.

As the speedometer ticked over 88KPS, a flash of light blinded Henry and he screamed in terror. Joanna laughed like a schoolgirl seeing a naked boy for the first time as she said “Oh, baby, don’t worry, everything’s gonna be all right. You won’t have to worry about anything. Ever again“. Henry opened his eyes and looked around with fear. They appeared to be in deep space; the Earth was nowhere in sight as he quickly turned to face the rear of the car. All he could see behind them were the remains of a trail of dying flames in the vacuum. There were no stars, no planets-nothing.

“What’s going on? Where the hell are we?” Henry demanded, hyperventilating. His heart pounded like a stampede of elephants in his chest. Joanna grinned and her eyes sparkled like diamonds. “We’ve arrived at your final destination, love. This is where you answer for screwing my friend Nina for the last 6 months and promising to marry her after you made sure I’d never be found.” Henry’s heart sank. Oh god, how could she know? “Oh, Joanna, I’m so sorry, she came on to me! I couldn’t help it, but you have to know that I didn’t love her! I only ever loved you”. And then with eyes that swelled with tears he added, pleading, “I will love you until the End of Time!” Joanna smiled again, and her eyes narrowed as she leaned in close to Henry, her lips just barely touching his.

“This is the End of Time” she whispered, “courtesy of the Temporal Capacitor you had installed. Remember?” With a pleased expression she reached into Henry’s coat pocket and removed the dinner reservation slip, which read 5:00PM, January 1st, 2472. Tears streamed down Henry’s face as the reality of his predicament sank in. Joanna opened the glove compartment, removed a small black box and lifted it so the lid was facing Henry and he couldn’t see its contents.

“How did you know?” he asked, his voice barely a whimper.

Joanna smiled as she gently caressed the red button marked “Remote Eject” inside the box, then with a look that most would describe as sweet and innocent, she said simply, “Because I’ve been screwing Nina since we were in High School, and just like with me, you never satisfied her the way I can. We share everything. And from now on, we’ll share it without you. Goodbye now!”

And without a moment’s hesitation, Joanna pressed the button. The roof on Henry’s side of the car turned to a translucent liquid and with a loud “Pop!” Henry was ejected into the vacuum of an empty Universe. The last thing He saw as he began to asphyxiate in the inky blackness was his wife waving to him as the car raced away and disappeared in a flash of flame and light.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 29.11.2009

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