Hidden in the Dark

All my life I've listened,
never to be heard.
All my life I've cried,
not showing the tears.
All my life I've tried to forget,
always to remember.
All my life I've wanted,
never to receive.
All my life I've faked a smile,
always to turn around and frown.
All my life I've attempted to love,
always to be rejected.
All my life I've tried to run from myself,
always to be caught again.
All my life I was alone,
even when I was surrounded by people.
All my life I've been tainted,
wishing I could undo his mistakes .
All my life I've waited for someone to hear my screams,
only to be smothered again.
All my life I've been the girl who wears black,
just wanting to show how I felt.
All my life I've tried to show my creativity,
almost always to be ridiculed.
All my life I was in the back of the room,
hiding from the judgmental eyes of my peers.
All my life I've been asked whats wrong,
always to reply "nothing."
All my life I've been hidden in the dark,
And that's where I'll always stay.


The love of the Reaper

The black abyss waits,
It awaits your arrival,
And it awaits your denial.

And I can’t ignore deaths cold hands.
To be wrapped in his embrace.
The tastes of his corpse like lips caress my face.

No one can save me now,
Now I will take a bow
As I take a knee,

He knows , I know, he’s waiting for me.
I will go in to nothingness;
And my face he will caress,
With his cold white fingers,
And I know his love still lingers.

Giving me a kiss of icy seclusion,
His eyes loving seem as an illusion.
We ride in a cage of forgotten life,
He carries along with him a tall scythe.

But we will escape this place,
And live among the human race.
I will forever be by his side,
For he loved me even after I died.


I FELL

I called out his name,
But he never came.
I screamed, I yelled, I cried,
And that night i died.
I was waiting for him,
And the night grew cold and dim.
I was alone and afraid,
That's when I took the blade.
He left me alone,
with no home.
So I wanted to end my life,
Using the little knife.
A blade made of steel,
will let him know my love is real.
i opened a vein,
But him I still couldn't blame.
I fell to the dirt,
As my heart began to hurt.
He had done nothing wrong,
But my love for him was far to strong.
Yes he moved on,
But i realized how much I needed him when he was gone.
My heart had shattered,
But to him it never really mattered.
Do I still love him? Yes I do.
And my love for him will always and forever be true.


Fear
Most people are ruled by the fear of getting hurt physically and emotionally. Like for example ,being emotionally afraid,
this is a fear more terrifying than pain for most people.
They can fall completely and totally in love and are terrified of giving their heart away because
they fear that person may end up breaking it instead of keeping it safe.
People also have a fear of being in physical pain or of death only because , well it hurts.
You can't not be afraid. Everybody's afraid of something. Even you.

Inside me is silence
I feel as if i'm dying and yet my body is warm.
I wonder if this is a sideaffect of falling in love
and then having your heart shatter in your own hands.
Love is intended to last forever, but what happens
when forever dies, does love die along with it, or
does true love last even after forever?
It's the end of my world, my sanity, and my heart.
But it's just the begining of your torture.
Now you will understand how I felt when you
screwed with my emotions and left me.
Now when your final breath comes you will wish
that you were in my arms.
But you will go all alone and into nothing
but complete and utter darkness.
Your body will tremble, full of
fear for your hell is near.


Shards

My heart was broken when I saw the way you looked at her.
My friend, my competion, she was the only thing that stood in the way of my happiness.
Now this is the only thing I can really say:
My heart lay shattered upon the dead ground in pieces
just waiting to be picked by someone with the loving hand that can put the pieces back together,
But for some reason those hands seem impossible to find ,I wonder if you could helpwith this mess.
But if you love her leave the shards upon the ground
and be happy with your perfect match, your love, my friend but no longer my competition,
or would you rather have me, were is your heart at?? Do you already know what you want??
Have you chosen or are you still confused like I am.
Is yourheart as brocken as mine??
I would gladly put it all back together and guard it from all of the evil people,
The people who would try to take it and shred it into the little pieces it used to be ,
you would be safe and protected by my love, but I am lost in this world of confusion,love ,and helplessness.
Please help me find my way back, back to where I am free to love and live by my own rules.
Help me fix the SHARDS.

Do you really?

As darkness rips at my blinding eyes,
I fade away into the night.
which starts to devour me.
Even though I love you I am afraid of what you really think of me,
and how you really feel.
Even though you smile at me with those loving eyes, and arms that
were always open wide, I can't help but wonder if its all a disguise.
I have only one question:
Do you really love me ?

Brutal Romance

A girl once had a brutal romance,
for his love kept her in a trance.
He stayed with her for months,
And said he loved her, only once.
When she saw the way he looked at you,
thats when she knew his love couldn't be true.
It was only her love for him she could feel,
When she realized his love was not real.
It was the way his eyes grew wide,
that let her know he had lied.
So to you, she gave him away ,
In hope that he would return to her the next day.
Thats when she realized that stupid little mistakes,
lead to even bigger heart brakes.
As he departed she whispered " Je T'aime encore".
She said this to her betrayer.
Je t'aime encore - I still love you


Evil

As her body grew cold,
Her story began to unfold.
At eight years,
He started her fears.
As she went through school,
Acting like everything was cool.
She was afraid of him and her being alone,
Especially at home.
Tell her mother, ha, she tried.
When she didn't believe her, she cried.
That night an eight year old girl learned about suicide.
She broke a mirror and the blood flowed as a tide.
She gazed at the shattered glass,
That seemed to reflect her past.
She saw images of a broken girl,
and the man that ended her world.
That night she cried,
and that night a little girls innocence died.


Dark Angel
(Dedicated to Jonathan Kates)

Why do you come to me in my sleep?
My dark angel, my sweet.Always in my dreams you appear,
Just to save me from another nightmare.
Why do you hide from the light?
My dark angelic knight,
My winged immortal with alabaster skin,
Though you have committed such a sadistic sin.
On his throne you decided to sit,
And you took his trust and betrayed it.
He took you and cast you down,
Far beneath the mortal ground.
He banned your followers from heaven as well,
Because they listened to what you had to tell.
The dark and sadistic creatures you now govern,
He said “To heaven you can no longer return.
It started out as a game,
Because all you really wanted was his fame.
Now you thrive on the hearts of the broken.
At this moment it’s my heart you have taken.
You continue to fool me and draw me closer.
For you think no woman can love a monster.
So please tell me what I can do,
Because dark prince I do love you.


~Broken~
[I run to the bathroom and hit the mirror.]

The door is closed and I hide behind it.
I sat there in the bathroom, crying.
All because you had been lying.
So when I found out about her,
I let you go.
" Why in the world did I do that?"
I whispered to myself.
I turned and looked at the broken mirror.
It was shattered like the girl looking into it.
I thought I could fix it,
So I started to pick up the pieces.
Putting the shards back in the frame.
But it fell again,
and cut my hand.
I was frustrated so I hit the metal backing
where the mirror used to be .
I then stared into the pieces of glass,
I saw your smile and my frown.
You were with her and I was alone, bleeding.
I picked up the slivers of glass,
and they finally stayed in the frame.
But all I saw were the scars from being broken.
It reminded me of my broken heart .
So I hit it again, they fell, and I realized,
a broken heart is like broken glass
because its better to leave it alone,
Than get yourself hurt trying to put them back together.

Trapped

As I look upon this mirror,
I wish a wish that I know will not come true.
I wish for someone to see me.
Someone who would not leave me alone.

For I am trapped in this wall
Of another dimension.
Asking for something more, more than just this
This is like a simple kiss.

Wanted yes, but wanting more
Of course who doesn’t
I want more than a kiss.
I want love again.

Before the day of my everlasting rest.
I would like to hear those words again.
As they mean it best,
After that I felt the curse begin.

The curse like Snow White,
But hers was not death.
Though I wish my curse was a easy as hers.


Oblivion

Two lovers are on the trail of hate and betrayal.
For one of them is lying to their heart.
as they walk down the path of deception,
They step over the line that leads into oblivion.
The one with the true heart,
begins to see the lies in her lovers eyes.
She released his hand and looked into the eyes of her betrayer.
As a cascade of tears escaped his eyes,
she then knew that her accusation was true.
He broke down and said he was sorry,
he begged for her forgiveness,
Which she gave,
even though she knew he didn't deserve it.
She took a moment and looked down at the ground,
Her heart beat began to increase.
She looked up and said
" Death is just another form of love."
She took out a blade and pressed it into her wrist.
She dug deeper and deeper until a cascade of red rubies fell to the ground.
She stood there bleeding to death.
She collapsed to the ground lily-white and cold.
He caught her in his arms he pulled her closer,
trying to comfort her as she slipped away into oblivion.
Cradled and comforted she fell into an eternal sleep.
Her last breath came out and he cried.
And the words she said still haunt him to this day,
" Death is just another form of love".
His guilt on the other hand was buried with her lily-white body.
But the love they had still lingers.
Of course he doesn't tell his new love.
Because all this happened just because he lied.


The Immortals: part I

His body was like angelic perfection,
and in his glassy blue eyes she could see her reflection.

He stole her breath with just one kiss,
but his touch sent her into a frenzy of bliss.
His body began to mold with hers,
and after that her mind just blurs.

Icy mint is what she could taste,
and then her logic was completely hazed.
It was as if his mouth had been laced,
because her heart beat now raced.

His mouth went from hers to her jugular vein,
but her blood he didn't want to drain.
Seconds before he wanted her life,
but now he wanted her as his wife.

He picked her up without a sound,
and jumped from the window to the ground.
He took her to the forest on the outside of town,
turned her and laid her down.


The Immortals: Part II

As the heaven's cried,
her mortal body died.
Her sun-kissed skin faded to lily white,
and her eyes grew as dark as the night.

Her vision increased,
but her heartbeat ceased.
The blood in her veins stopped it's flow,
and the hunger inside began to grow.

Her hair Straightened,
and her beauty greatened.
The first breath that she tried to take,
was the sensation of being burned at the stake.

She then realized that she was to walk at night,
For her body couldn't handle sunlight.
So when the sun came up they hid underground,
Together they stayed safe and sound.


The Immortals: Part III

In the veil of the mountain they wait.
The angelic man and his beautiful mate.
They Stay hidden, out of sight,
waiting for the veil of night.

Four Ivory arms reach out,
the immortals there is no doubt.
The celestial creatures open their eyes,
remembering their last sunrise.

They escape from the earth and stand.
Then they started to scan the moonlit land.
They have spotted the life they are going to steal.
A young man will be their next meal.

They have a simple plan,
to capture this unsuspecting man.
She will use her heavenly voice,
he follows because he has no choice.

And while he is ensnared by her,
the man will commit the murder.
Are they angels from above?
Their beauty would suggest so, as would their love.

Or are they demons from far below?
From seeing all the innocent blood they let flow, you would think so.
They are a bloody but beautiful vision,
So be wise when you make your decision.


If He Only Knew

If he only knew that I melt when he looks my way,
And his smile gives the world around him life.


If he only knew my heart beats faster when he says my name,
And that his laugh makes even the darkest days bright.


If he only knew that his touch gives me my confidence,
And his warmth makes me breathless.


I want to tell him “I love him”
I want to say he means the world to me.


To tell him I’ll always be there when he needs me.
Even if he doesn’t want to admit it.


I wish I could say that I need him more than he knows,
But I won’t because I don’t want to lose what we have.


I wish I had the courage to tell him
that my heart has always been his.
But my fear of rejection overpowers me.

In the end I want him to know that
I’ll always love him even if he has to leave.
That I’m so in love that if he asked me to wait I would.

If he only knew that I can’t stand not seeing him.
That even when we’re apart he’s on my mind.


If he only knew that every time I saw him with a girl,
that my heart broke in two.


But the biggest thing that hurts me,
is he’ll never know what you know now that you’ve read this.


The Real Me

Everyone who 'knows' me,
only sees what i show.
If they got the whole person.
Their impression of me would change.
I show the tame side
But one day the world will know all of me.
I show as much as can be handled.
Even my friends think I'm bad now.
Wait until they see what my real writing is like.
My poetry is calm on here.
But the story behind this girl leads to Violence.
Sometimes I might show a piece of my insanity.
But still not as bad as they could have been.
I don't want to scare you away.
No.. that's not my goal.
I want to give you the whole story.
But I don't want to lose you yet.
So after you read this don't ask me questions.
Don't ask what I meant.
Just leave it alone until I think you can handle it.
because even if your sure you can take what I've got.
I can assure you, your not ready.
I don't want to put you down or say your weak.
Because I know for a fact your strong.
You've held on to me longer than most.
And I can never thank you enough.
You kept me grounded.
Even when I thought I'd lost my grip.
Every hug you gave left me a reason to get up the next morning.
So one day when you know the real me I hope you will stay.
Don't leave me because god only knows I won't last long in this world.


Pills

Did you know your rejection almost killed me?
and yes my heart has been broken by you.
Did you know every time you yelled you lowered my self confidence?
Yes your words do hurt me even if I don't show it.
Did you know my past has been adding to my own self hatred?
Even though I know I can't fix what he did.
Did you know that when you say "I love you" I don't believe you?
I never have either and I'm not sure if I should.
Did you know i miss you even when your right next to me?
Your so close and yet I can't touch you.
Did you know that I have tried to commit suicide over 7 times?
And most of them were by overdosing.
Did you know they were all prescription pills?
And I stayed up all night trying not to throw them up.
I was all blurry visioned and clumsy.
I fell every where I couldn't stand up And I couldn't stay awake.
I nearly died, but at the last moment I started to breathe again.
This poem isn't made to make you feel guilty,
but you hurt me more than I ever let you know.
So next time I want to talk to you, listen.
Don't push me away I need the comfort of an open heart.
Not just another judgmental mind.
Don't make the pills my only friend.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 25.12.2010

Alle Rechte vorbehalten