"Hold your breath when the blackbird flies."

"Hold your breath when the black bird flies, count to seventeen and close your eyes, I'll keep you safe tonight." -S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W -My Chemical Romance

~~~~

One. Two. Three gunshots.

Them.

They found me. Oh God. They found me. Don't panic. Don't panic. Just stay calm, 'Lena. They won't find you here. They just can't. Not here, not now. Not in front of all of these people.

Wrong.

They'll go through anything to get me and my secrets. Oh my God. They're here. Right outside the door. I tense up, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. They're not real. I kept telling myself that over and over, taking deep breaths with my eyes closed. They're still here. Nobody else seemed to notice. Not even the teacher. I just wanted to scream They're here! Everybody get out! but I can't. I just can't.

They're here.

My eyes were trained on the door knob of the solid pine door. I could see a white-masked face in the tiny window that was plastered in the middle of the door. I stared. and stared. and stared.

Then wham! The door flew open, and they ran in. All of them. White masked men, all dressed in white, one pushing a cart with everything on it staying perfectly still. I cought a glimpse of it as I fell to the floor, trying to get away but failing.

A scalpel, surgical scissors, and some other shiny metal tools that I can't actually name.

But that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about my secrets. I swore to myself they'll never get them.

But they just might. They had a pretty good grip on me. I couldn't shake them off. All the squirming and fidgeting won't do anything. All I could do was sit there and take it. Of course I screamed, but other than that, I couldn't do anything. I failed. I failed the world. It's my fault that everybody's going to die.

My fault that They got to me.

My fault that I can't stay conscious to help myself.

~~~~

I woke up in a strange room, not the same place I was before They got to me, which was a classroom, but in a white room. A pure, white, room. I swear, it's like they just put me under quarantine. Why not just fly a yellow jack right outside my door, just to let everybody know "Hey! This room contains a girl that has an infectious mental disorder!" Ha, no. Screw this place. I'll walk right out of here.

Wait, I can't. I'm still laying down. But I can fix that. I sat up, rather quickly, and it made me a little dizzy. I blinked for a moment, then stood up, reaching up to touch my hair, but it was covered by a banadage. I looked around and found a tiny bathroom on the other side of the room. Perfect. I walked to it and yeah, it was tiny. A toilet in one corner, with the toilet paper holder on the side of the counter next to it, and a small counter with soap, and a sink, and a little mirror above it. There were no cabinets, but oh well. I slowly tore off the bandage and my hair just fell down to my hips.. I touched my head and flinched. Ow, something bad happened. I don't really remember anything but being in a classroom, then passing out. I shrugged the pain off and shook out my hair. It was naturally straight, completely straight and thick, and it was always fell down to my hips.

I really don't know why I'm talking about my hair... I get cought up in so many things. ADD and schizophrenia.... what a great mix. Anyways, what I should be worrying about is Them. They got to me, and that means they're just going to get closer and closer. Bit by bit. They'll do anything, literally anything to get to my secrets. It's a terrible thing to think about, so I don't think about it half the time.

Y'know they're going to get to you.

I jumped and turned around. Bert. I scowled at him as if to say 'What in the living hell are you doing here.' He just chuckled and shook his head, his jet black strands falling in front of his face. They're close. I just turned around and tuned him out, then I looked back over my shoulder and he was gone. I knew he was just a figment of my imagination, but he always popped up out of nowhere and I couldn't help but think 'Hey, this guy is actually real.'

I hate my brain.

I just stared at myself in the mirror, wondering how I'm still in the same clothes as I was before I even came here. Just a simple black shirt and skinny jeans, with my special hand-made vans of course. I thought they'd maybe put in me one of those stupid hospital gowns. I hate those so much.

Wow, I get off of topic a lot, don't I? I need to worry about getting out of here... Yeah, I'll do that now.

I walked out of the bathroom, slowly walking towards the other door, most likely the exit out of this colorless asylum, and opened it, looking out of the pure, clean door and side to side of the hallway. Man, what the hell is up with all the white? Can't a hospital have some color? I'm an artist and this is really annoying.

But I got over it quickly and walked out, walking to the right, knowing it was the right way. Don't ask how I know this, I just know things.

I walked to the end of the hallway and looked out one of the big windows that took up almost the whole wall going up and down, there were about 27 of them going to the other sides of the hallway I was now in. I looked up at the tree that was covering the window I was looking out of and held my breath, seeing a black bird. It flew and I closed my eyes, counting to seventeen. It was a strange habit I had grown into as a child. I considered it good luck. Maybe that blackbird can give me a little bit of luck here...

"Hey.."

I jumped a voice coming from down the hallway, breaking my perfect silence. I looked over at the person and glared. I like my silence and this guy just ruined it. He squinted at me and walked closer and closer until he was about a foot away from me, "What're you doing out here? You're not supposed to be out of your room." He informed me and I just shrugged. I don't talk. At all. It raises my risk of Them finding me.

"You don't talk, do you?" He asked, crossing his arms. I shook my head and looked him straight in the eye. It helped me 'talk' to people better. He had blue-gray eyes with long, black hair. I got to admit, he is really cute, but I'm not the one to date. No one wants to go out with a mentally ill girl.

No one.

"Okay, then. What room are you in? I'll take you back..." I nodded and took out my mini sketch pad. It was something I always carried around with me to 'talk' to people. I opened it and just took the pen that was hanging from his white scrubs, not even caring about where it has been, which was rather strange of me to do because I'm very sensative about that stuff. But I just didn't care. I wrote down my room number neatly, as always, on a blank page and showed him. He nodded and he walked ahead of me, leading me back to room.

Everything was still white. Even this guys scrubs.

This place needs some color....

"Take my hand and Never be Afraid Again."

So take, my fucking hand and never be afaraid again." - Out Lady of Sorrows- My Chemical Romance

~~~

It feels like hours and hours, and my God more hours have gone by since that guy had walked me back to my room, but it's only been like, twenty minutes. Time seems to go by slower when you're slowly losing your mind... Wait, but I'm not crazy... am I? Man, I don't even know anymore. I think the loss of color is making me go even crazier. I just can't fucking stand it anymore!

Shut up, you're not crazy. This is all real.

"Damn it Bert, go away!" I shook my head, covering my ears and refusing to look at the black haired man.

Fine. But I'll be back.

I could hear that stupid smirk on his voice and I looked back, he just dissapeared. It was rather frustrating to have somebody come and go like that, not even stay for like, ten minutes straight. I'm tired of him and I want him out of my life. But I don't think that'll happen. He's going to stay there forever, until the day I die.

Just another thing to look forward to.

~~~

5-29-13

Bert needs to shut up. Seriously. I'm getting tired of his bullshit. Coming and going without a word. I need to push him out of my mind. Make him go away. Force him out of my life. I need to get everyone out of my life. I just want the world to shut up, and go away. I don't need it, anyways. I just need me, my self, and I.

No one else.

~~~

 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.05.2013

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Widmung:
Dedicated to, a friend of my known as Ciera (Caedls) because she helped with the title name. So. Also, to my most favorite people ever, Gerard Way and Frank Iero, Ray Toro, and Mikey Way. Ah.