The soothing sound of Mexican guitars filled my ears as I turned on the CD player and closed my eyes. I was ready to enter my world, a world where anything and everything could, and did happen. I sat back in my chair and listened to the guitar sing, it's voice harmonious and soft, bringing thoughts of warmth, comfort, love, and loss. I felt the emotion behind each song deep in my heart, until it became a part of me. Now I was the music, and the music was me, the gentile melody of my life. And then I went blank, the world around me faded. I no longer smelled my candle burning, nor felt the plush of my chair. My mind raced away from this world, leaving behind only my body.
I felt the sun's rays caress my cheeks and brow, it's touch as soft as satin silk. The birds sang a tropical melody in the distance, wild birds I had never heard nor seen before, with calls as beautiful as they were wild. The sound of waves lapping at the shoreline now joined the birds, giving more and more reality to my made up world. The sweet smell of the ocean tickled my nose, and the faint aroma of wildflowers joined it in an elegant, graceful dance. The grains of sand beneath my feet were smooth and soft, I encased my feet up until my ankle in the warmth of the sand and sighed. Then I opened my eyes.
The ocean was bluer than I had ever seen it back at home, it's wild, rolling surface an elegant, yet feral portrait of several different hues. Wave after rolling, white wave kissed the shore, then slid back home, to the wild sea. Pale, white sails dotted the horizon, and the sky was a brilliant mixture of reds and oranges. The sun was just barely visible, as it continued around to greet the other side of the world. I looked around to the sides, and behind me, to see a forest, amazon-like in it's fierce beauty. Palm trees surrounded me completely, mixed in with a few other coniferous trees. At their feet was a blanket of flowers. Every color of the rainbow was well represented here, each in multiple hues. Berry bushes sported their bountiful harvests in the distance, and a few tropical fruit trees were mixed into this forest as well.
As I looked to my right, I saw what was the best sight of all. A horse as white as snow, with eyes of endless chocolate brown stood there, all saddled up and waiting just for me. I put my foot in the stirrup and launched myself into the saddle, my eyes gleaming with--

"Isabelle!! ISABELLE!!!!!" I jumped as my Aunt Terri took my arm, forcing me out of my dream world.
"What?" I demanded, taking the headphones off.
"Good grief, pay attention! I said it's time for you to get ready to go. Piano lessons start in half an hour!" With that she wandered back into the hall.
"Oh, not this again, Terri!" Uncle Remmy seemed to appear from out of nowhere, drunk as usual. "Why waste my money on those stupid piano lessons, I can't afford it!"
"Remmy, it's not YOUR money, it's Isabelle's and mine as well. See, this is why I left you. You're nothing but a greedy drunk! Isabelle, please brush your hair and come downstairs, love." Aunt Terri took Uncle Remmy's arm and drug him back downstairs.
"Fine." I murmured to thin air. "I guess this is what I get for putting myself somewhere so perfect. Oh, how I do wish I could go there..." But I knew I could not. So, if only for my Aunt, I took up my brush and set at getting ready for my piano lessons.


I sighed as I walked through the door after a long day at school. Why did I have to go to school? Oh, yes, I knew the typical answers all right. "Oh, because you are fifteen dear, with so much to learn about the world. You go to school to learn it all." That was what I got from my Aunt, at least. And she doesn't even live here! She just keeps showing up to take care of me. But I suppose I could have it worse. I thought, She could not come at all, and then where would I be? My parents are dead, they died of some odd disease in some third world country. I don't even know where they died. They left me to my Aunt and Uncle, and that was both a mistake and a blessing. Uncle Remmy was my favorite uncle until my father, his brother, died. Then he started drinking. Aunt Terri divorced him, but I was granted to Uncle Remmy. Stupid government!
I threw down my overloaded backpack, and glared at it so intensely that I thought it might just go up in flames. However I was not that lucky. I abandoned my backpack in the living room, and headed up to my room. I had all weekend to do my homework, right now I needed an escape.
I walked through the door of my room, and had to smile. I love my room, my sanctuary, my lair, whatever you will call it. It was a mixture of Queen Anne and Japanese styles. My bed and dressers were black, with beautiful Lilly and rose patterns carved into them. The bed was a canopy bed, with deep red silky fabric hanging from the top. The covers were luxurious, soft and oh, so warm. They were black, red and gold, with elegant Japanese symbols on them. On every surface stood a black vase with a different type of bird painted on it. Inside were cherry blossoms, always cherry blossoms. Candles of all colors, prints, scents and sizes were everywhere, and rose petals lined the floors, surfaces and every where else. A Japanese dressing screen stood in one corner, a beautiful scene of a blooming cherry tree painted on it. On one wall was a double glass door that lead out onto a balcony. The candles, vases and rose petals continued out here. Two beanbags, one black, on a deep red, and both made of velvet, sat side by side. Between them was a low wicker table, with black metal frames. My mother called me "little miss elegant" but I don't care, I love beauty and elegance.
I kicked off my shoes and crossed the soft, burgundy carpet. Opening the double doors, I slid out onto the balcony. With a smile, I sunk down into the red beanbag and grabbed the remote for my CD player. I picked out a soothing New Age CD, the haunting melodies on this one often made me think about the stars and planets. Today, though, it just lulled me into a sweet sense of assurance and security. My body became light, and the world soon became invisible to me.
Before I opened my eyes, I tried to guess where I had landed. Immediately, I knew. The smells of leather, grain, hay, straw and horse all mixed together in a wordless harmony. I could hear the horses breathing, and snorting, a few whinnied in greeting. I opened my eyes to find myself sitting in heaven.
I was surrounded on each side by large box stalls, each housing a gorgeous horse. There were bays and whites, grays, duns, palominos, paints, appaloosas and even a black or two. Each of their eyes spoke expressively, begging me for treats. I smiled, and moved on. Around a corner were the cross ties, and there, I knew, stood my horse, Phoenix. He was black, as black as midnight when the stars and moon are invisible. No white showed anywhere. His mane and tail were long and silky, his forelock falling gracefully over his soft brown eyes. Eyes that were filled with love for me. He stood a demanding 16 hands, but that was no problem. I did not fear him, for he would never hurt me. My brushes and saddle stood off to the right. I picked up a soft brush and went to work at smoothing out his glossy coat, though it did not need it.
Once I had brushed his body, mane and tail and picked his hooves, I pulled a bright red saddle pad from the saddle rack., setting it squarely on Phoenix's back, careful to make sure it was in the right position. Then followed my black forward seat English saddle, it's seat a comfortable velor fabric. On Phoenix's legs I put red wraps, and then I added his bridle and reins. At last we were ready! I pulled my boots and helmet on before leading Phoenix out of the barn. Putting one foot in the stirrup I vaulted into my saddle, and nudged my boy forward.
And now we were flying, his smooth canter was all that mattered. I closed my eyes and held on to his silky mane, even though I didn't need to. Before long my heart beat in pace with his, as did my breath. There seemed to be no line between girl and horse, no sign of where I ended and Phoenix began. I sighed, this was where I belonged.
As Phoenix tired, I reined him in. I slid from the saddle, setting Phoenix free to graze. Night fell then, the stars and moon lighting the land almost as brightly as the sun had. Phoenix came to lay at my feet as I sat on the ground, my back against a rock. He laid his head in my lap and was soon asleep. I gazed at the stars until the chirping crickets' lullaby and Phoenix's steady breathing took me off to sleep.

I opened my eyes now, fully relaxed and now at peace. Phoenix was one of my favorite imaginary horses, if only for his jet black coat and wild at heart nature. All of my horses were special, and each cared more about me than any other person I had ever known. Yes, it was true that I have three square meals and a roof over my head, and I am grateful for that. My parents died a long time ago, however. Before they left they gave me this room, but, if it weren't for the lock on my door, my greedy Uncle Remmy would have pawned it all already.
Uncle Remmy was my caregiver now, but he did an awful job! He gambles and drinks a lot, but it is either him or an orphanage, so, I suffer. He won't let me do anything fun, he practicably enslaves me at times. I wish my world was real. I wish I could slip away into my made up world where I am happy, but the closest I can get is my imagination. That will just have to do for now.


Uncle Remmy was off gambling... again! He was always off gambling, with my parents money as well! I can't stand to see him dwindle our resources and then complain about the cost of feeding me! He had probably blown over three thousand dollars on booze and at the tracks during that week alone. But now was not the time for me to worry about that.
I was free, for once in my lifetime. And I had plans for myself. Unbeknownst to my Uncle, I had a job. It was part-time and paid poorly, but I had now earned enough to take myself riding. I grabbed my purse and stuffed the money into it, grinning happily.
Running down the stars I practically ran right into Uncle Remmy. I yelled as his hand closed around my wrist. He scowled at me.
“And where are you going?” He demanded, his coarse voice practically a snarl.
“Just out with my friends. Nothing special, just walking around the mall, window shopping, maybe get a pizza.” I lied, hoping I was not a see through as I felt. He glared at me for a moment, then stumbled off to the couch to pass out. I hoped for a moment that he would get alcohol poisoning, but then I realized how cruel that thought was. After all, I would end up in an orphanage if he did. Maybe I should wait a few years to wish death upon my uncle!
I bolted out the door, happy just to be out of that house and away from the alcohol on Uncle Remmy's breath. I grabbed my bike and peddled furiously in the direction of the city bus stop. I was going horse riding.


The horse they gave me was a bay, and very pretty to look at. Her name was Azure, and she was so much fun to ride! Riding was just as I had expected it, and even better. The feel of such a strong, able-bodied, yet gentile animal beneath you is impossible to describe. The walk and trot are fun, enjoyable, but it is the canter that I love most. As Azure loped for me, I felt as if we had taken wing, her smooth gait was all that mattered, and it took away my daily stress. Even if it was temporary, I was grateful.


Back at home, Uncle Remmy was snoring. He snored loudly, but it didn't matter. I slipped up to my room, and locked the door. Today had been such a dream, and I wished that it would never end. As I put my pajamas on and slid into bed I made a fervent wish, I wish that I could slip away into my dream world, that I could just disappear into into it and never have to return. I turned out my light with a sigh, knowing that that was a wish that could never come true.


I glared at the light pouring from the strange object. I hated being woken up in the night, but this was just odd. The light seemed to just be floating in my room, an unknown object behind it. BANG! Something hard landed on the floor and the light was immediately extinguished. I stared at the middle of my floor.
A door now stood, with no help at all, in the middle of my room. It fit right in, a beautiful mahogany wood door, with entricitly carved patterns on it. The images were of horses, galloping, resting, riding, just about every image of a horse imaginable was there. I suddenly had an urge to open the door, and see what was beyond it. Probably just my dresser, though!
Even with my doubts, I was drawn to the strange door. I walked up to it, and put my hand on the knob, still unsure.
“What the hell is with all the NOISE!!!” Uncle Remmy burst into my room, having actually managed to bust the bolt from the frame. I panicked, opened the door and flew inside. I heard a soft whooshing noise, and Uncle Remmy banging on the other side of the door, then silence. I looked around, startled. Where was I? And then I knew. I was home.
My favorite house, a Victorian style mansion I had seen in a magazine once, stood in front of me. Three huge stables, complete with arenas, round pens and pasture land were just down a path. I could hear the ocean behind me. This was where I had always dreamed of living.
I stepped inside of the house, and it was furnished just how I like it. I ran back outside and down to the stables. I strode through to see all kinds of horses, each as happy to see me as I was to see them. And then I saw them, standing in a row outside. Phoenix, Phantom, Siren, Legacy, Skye and Liberty. These were the special horses I had dreamed up to fill the lonely spaces since my parent's death. Finally, my dreams had been fabricated.
I hugged each horse, taking it all in. Then, I walked slowly up to the mahogany door. It stood there waiting, as if I might want to go back, but now there was a key in the lock. I turned it, and the door disappeared. I jumped, startled. Could I never go back? The key still sat in my hand, and I knew I could if I wanted to. But I didn't, and I wouldn't. Why would I? There was nothing back there to live for, and here my life, a most wonderful life, was just beginning to unfold.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 26.04.2010

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Widmung:
This book is for my real live dreams come true. For Snowflake, Jazz, Red and Katy and any other horse who has helped me to realize my dreams.