First Day

I wake up to the blaring noise of my alarm clock right in my ear. I roll over and hit the top of it, in the hope that I hit a button that would shut it off. It turns out that I didn't so I had to actually sit up and switch the alarm from On

to Off

.
I get up and walk over to my too big of a closet, and pick out something to wear for the first day of school. I'm not like those girls that have something planned for this day a week in advance. So I grab dark demin cut off short shorts, my blue/green loose off-the-shoulder shirt, underwear and my bra and head over to the bathroom to shower.
After I'm done cleansing myself I let the warm water fall on my head and run down my body just for the relaxing feeling. Then I reaslize I actually have to be somewhere in a half hour so I jump out, put my hair in a towel and get dressed.
When I'm done with my make up, which is really some eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara, I take my damp blonde hair out of the towel and blow dry it straight. Then I touch it up with my straightener and when I'm done it's about half way down my back. To dress up the outfit a little more I take one of my many necklaces and put it on while I go down the stairs for breakfast.
I go over to the fridge to see what fruit we have and I see a note on the door from my parents.

Had an early meeting this morning, there's some pineapple for you on the second shelf. Have a great first day! Love you!

love,
Mom and Dad

That's the 4th early meeting this week, and it's only Wednesday! Oh well, I'm not complaining too much. I'm happy I don't have those nosey parents that always want to be in my business. I'm usually busy anyway.
I look at the clock and it says 7:39. I still have some time before the 7:45 bus arrives so I go brush my teeth, put on my black Toms, grab my school stuff and head out the door. You'd think going into my senior year I would be driving myself to school by now, but no. I don't have a car. With all of the money that my parents have they still haven't found the need to buy me my own car so that I wouldn't have to take the stupid bus anymore. Hopefully for my 18th birthday that's coming up September 7th I'll finally get my own car. A girl can dream.
As I wait at the bus stop I see some unfamiliar faces walking towards me. They look like some incoming freshmen so I decided to be friendly this morning and introduce myself.
"Hi I'm Nicole but you guys can call me Nikki. Are you students at Valent High School?"
A girl that looks like a younger version of me answered in the sweetest voice ever "Yeah! We're some of the new freshmen this year. What year are you?"
"I'm a senior. So I'll tell you from experience, don't pick a lunch table in the middle of the lunch room because there will be at the LEAST 2 food fights this year and you don't want to be stuck in the middle of one of those." I say with a kind smile.
"We'll remember that. Thank you!" She says back cheerfully.
"No problem."
I turn around to see the bus pulling up and the doors fly open right in front of me. I step into the bus and say hello to the bus driver, who is different from last year. But they change every year so that's not a big deal. Then I search for my usual window seat in the second row from the back. I sit down and take out my phone and earbuds and play some music for the ride.
After a couple stops we finally pull up to the Valent. This place has been my home for the past 3 years. From tennis, to late rehearsals for the play/musical, to cheerleading, and finally attending every home game for football, basketball, and baseball, it's been great!
Right when I arrive I go straight to the gym for our first-day-of-school assembly. As I walk past small crowds of people I hear a couple whistles and hollers coming from the football team towards the back of the bleachers. I ignore them and go straight to the spot where me and Anna planned to meet for the assembly so we can sit by each other.
One second I'm sitting alone, spacing out, and another Anna is sitting right next to me filing her nails waiting for me to notice that she's there.
"Anna! Oh my gosh! How long have you been sitting there??"
She laughs. "Maybe a minute or two but you were too spacey to notice." she says with a smirk.
I give her one of the biggest hugs and say "I'm sorry! But Oh man! I haven't seen you in two weeks!! how was florida!? Nice tan" I nudge her playfully, "Any summer romances?!"
"Give or take a few", she says jokingly, "I did meet this one guy and he was pretty cool. Nothing to throw my crazy single senior year away on though!"
I laugh "Exactly! Wow can you believe that we're seniors!? This is crazy!! We're going to have so much fun!"
Right as I say that a loud piercing sound comes from the speakers and everybody quiets down. Our principle comes out with a microphone in her hand and begins the assembly with
"Welcome back everyone! Get ready for another amazing and exciting year here at Valent!"
Oh I've been ready.

That was unexpected...

"Can I see your schedule to check if we have anything this year!?"
"We probably don't have much, but sure."
She rips the paper out of my hands and scans it intensely. Anna squeals and hands it back to me with a smirk on her face.
"We have English, Lunch, AND P.E. together! how lucky is that!? I thought I was going to have to go through P.E. alone this year!"
I laugh and nudge her with my elbow, "You wouldn't be alone, you are so good at just going up to people and introducing yourself. You wouldv'e been fine."
She rolls her eyes and says "Well I guess I'm off to AP Chem. See you in English!"
I give her a little wave and head in the opposite direction to Calculus.
When I walk in I see the room is only half full so I decide to pick a good seat now. As I lay my binder down on the desk someone taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a preppy brounette with a pony tail and an argyle sweater on. Classic.
"Hi! I'm Samantha and I just transferred here from New York. Is this Calculus or did the last person I ask give me the wrong room because they didn't seem sure at all."
"No that person was right. This is Calculus, I'm Nikki." and I reach out to shake her hand. She takes my hand and gives it a good shake and says, "Thank you! You're so nice you know that?"
I laugh a little, "Thanks, I try I guess. Some people wouldn't agree."
"Well who needs them then." And just then the bell rings signaling us to take our seats. "I'll see you around then?" She asks.
"Yeah. Sure." I say with a smile before I sit down.
Classes always go by fast the first day back. This day is always the same. Teachers tell us what the goals are for this year, they tell us how important it is to not be tardy, blah blah blah. I've heard this so many times before. So by the time I was to my 4th period class I was ready to pass out. When my lunch bell rings I feel so relieved and go straight to my locker to grab my lunch. When I get to the cafeteria I sit down at my usual table that I've had the last 3 years of high school.
A little bit later Anna comes and sits down next to me. Following her is Dillion, Mark, Abby, Tyler, and Jess. Mark and Jess joined our table Sophomore year and ever since its always been the 7 of us.
Dillion has dark brown hair, blue eyes, and a pretty average build. Abby is very petite, with a light complextion, almost black shorter hair, and hazil eyes. Mark is the usual Jock, very muscular, green eyes, flowy blonde hair, and a smile that can blind you. Jess is the beautiful chearleeder that hates all the stuck-up prisses on the squad but puts up with them so she can get a scholarship to chear in college (her parents put her in tumbling since she was 4). She's blonde like me but a bit lighter and a shorter cut, light brown eyes and a figure girls would kill for. Then there's the jaw-droppingly handsome Tyler (a.k.a. my best guy friend) He has the best body (not too overwhelming) the most gorgeous eyes (deep blue), and messy brown hair that falls in front of his eyes whenever he looks up at you.
"Hey guys! I was afraid they would split us up this year." Mark says as he takes a seat.
"I guess not!" Anna replies in her flirtacious voice. She's had a crush on this kid since the beginning of Jr. year when he walked into school the first day completely grown out of his awkward phase.
Tyler comes around the table and sits nexts to me and gives me a little nudge.
"Haven't seen you in a couple days" he jokes, "How were your first couple classes?"
"Ehhh not too bad, It's going to be quite a year for Calc and AP lit." I say with a groan.
"Don't worry if all else fails, you can always become an actress" he winks at me.
"Psshhh, not even! I only do that stuff for fun." I say and roll my eyes. "That doesn't mean you can't be good, I've seen you and you're amazing."
I look down at my tray while I blush so that he doesn't make fun of me. He touches my cheek with the back of his hand and says, "That's so pretty"
I slap his hand away, "shut up" and I stick out my tongue.
He just shrugs, "It's only the truth." After he said that I couldn't help but smiling.
After lunch Tyler walks me to my locker.
"So now I have French which is going to be super boring." I say in a monotone voice.
"Don't worry, just think, after that class you get to see me for AP History." He says with a smile on his face.
I give him a warm smile back and say, "I guess that is a perk"
He steps closer to me so now I'm up against my locker, "You guess?" He says in a mischevious tone and he wraps his arm around my waist. My heart starts to beat faster, what has gotten into him lately?
"ummmmmm" is all I can say because I was at a loss for words. Then I feel his warm breath on my ear, "I'll see you after class" and his lips trail the side of my face and fills my stomach with tingles.
"o-ok" I say dumbfoundedly, He just laughs and kisses me on the cheek before turning to go to his next class.
What just happened??

Light at the end of the tunnel

I walk to Class in a daze. Did all of that really just happen or am I going crazy. There's no way Tyler could actually have feelings for me! We are best friends! Emphasis on the FRIENDS! What am I going to do?? I mean it's not like I haven't pictured it a couple times, he is super attractive, nice, hilarious, and one of the sweetest and most thoughtful friends I have.
I'm so confused, I have no idea how I'm going to face him after class. Can I please just disappear for awhile! This is going to be just GREAT! I have to think of a plan.
A little while later something just clicked in my head and I knew what I was going to do.
It seemed like this clock couldn't move fast enough! only a couple more seconds and.... *RING* the bell finally sounds so I pick up my stuff and sprint out the door to my locker. I shove my books in and grab my things for my next class. When I turn around I see Tyler walking towards my locker and my heart skips a couple beats.
"Hey beautiful, you look a little pale. Is something wrong?"
I didn't say anything, I didn't know what I should even say! I just look down and shake my head to try to clear it, with a little smile on my face.
Why am I freaking out so much about this? Tyler is obviously 100% hands down the best guy I've ever known and I bet he would make the perfect boyfriend!
He saw something flicker in my eyes so he steps closer to me and slips his hand around my waist. We keep our eyes on each other as he leans in to kiss me.
Then I take his hand and slip out under his arm. I turn around to see him staring at me in awe as I walk away so I say,
"It's not going to be that easy bud" I smile and wink at him before I turn back around and head to my next class.

This was kind of fun, playing hard to get. In my other relationship I was always so straight forward with Josh. But he ended up to be a jerk in the end.
He told me that he wasn't sure if he still felt the same way towards me as he had before. I was head over heals for this guy right? I wasn't in love because I don't know what being in love feels like but I definitely loved this kid! I just wasn't IN love. Does that make any sense?
Well anyway I told him that we should try at least and see where it goes because I didn't want to lose him blah blah blah. Well I was the idiot because he told me that he really wanted to try too but he was only staying with me because I wanted him to. It wasn't until he all out stopped acting like a boyfriend and started acting like he barely even knew me that I could see we were done. He hesitated with kissing me, he was a lot more quiet, and I saw in his eyes that he didn't want to be with me.
Why do girls have to be the ones that always want to hold on? I thought we could've worked through it but he didn't even give it a chance. He was so set on that relationship being over.
I was stupid for keeping it up so long, I wasted a month and a half trying to fix the relationship and he just kept pushing away. Of course he was going to say that he really wants to be friends. He said he likes hanging out with me and that I was SUCH and amazing person but I knew he didn't mean it. He was just trying to make me happy again. It would've worked too, except for the fact that after that he barely contacted me and gave me the excuse "I didn't know how much time you needed" Oh please! get over yourself! You were a sucky boyfriend that I thought could change but you proved me wrong there. Bottom line, He didn't even try to be in contact with me all summer. We broke up like a month before school ended and he's been distant ever since. Nice "friend" right?
Every time I start thinking about that I get a new-found bitterness towards him, so I should stop talking about it.
Anyway! While I was telling my whole last summer/Jr. year life story, the last bell of the day rang so I got up and went to my locker.
As I walked out of school, my intentions to go straight to the bus stop, Tyler pulls up in a new Jeep.
I run over to him, "Oh my gosh when did this happen??" I say in complete shock looking at the shiny new automobile.
"My parents surprised me this morning with it. I was going to tell you at lunch but I wanted to surprise you with a ride home today." And he shoots me one of his dasling smiles.
I smile back and say, "You are the best you know that?" and I climb into the big car.
"Of course I am, now do you have to go straight home?"
I pretend to ponder that for a bit and say, "Well I guess it depends on what you have in mind."
"Ooooh I don't know. How about some of your favorite ice cream of all time?"
"SCOOPS??"
"Mmmhmmm. Chocolate right? That's your favorite?"
"Yeah! And yours is.... Hold on I know this one!" He laughs at my concentrated facial expression.
"OH! Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough!!"
"Finally! I thought you were never going to get it." He says with a smile.
"Whatever Tye, I still got it. But yes! Lets go get scoops! I haven't had it since the last time you took me sophomore year, the day you got your license and your mom let you take the mini van." I say laughing.
He chuckles remembering that day. It was so long ago.
He speeds up a little bit and says, "Well then I guess we HAVE to go now! That's crazy!"
My smile fades to a little smirk and I say, "Well I've been... busy lately." I was so caught up in Josh last year that I forgot about how Tyler and I used to go to Scoops every friday after school. After I started dating Josh, that stopped. I think I was just so caught up in my first high school relationship, that I forgot about how much fun I used to have with Tyler. Josh was fun too but I never had the connection between him like I do with Tye. I guessed I learned my lesson by getting my heart broken by a guy that told me he loved me.
He could tell something was wrong in my voice. I see him look over at me out of the corner of my eye because my face is turned towards the window. He takes my hand in his and squeezes it.
"I'm not like him, you know that right?" He looks straight at me as he says this.
He always knows exactly what I'm thinking even if I try to hide it.
I lean closer to him and put my head on his shoulder, "Of course I know that."

Coincidence?

2 weeks! It has been 2 weeks since Tyler and I made it official. It's been great too. Dating your best friend is probably one of the smartest things someone can do. We are never afraid to tell each other when something is wrong, we know that the other is truly concerned and not just doing things to make the other one happy, and we just have a lot of fun together because we know what each other likes. I still haven't let him kiss me yet though because I told him I wanted our first kiss to be spontaneous and special. I'm going to make you work for that one Tye.

I had said to him with a mischevious smile on my face.
For our first date he took us out to a nice resturant and then laser tagging/go carting for the rest of the night becuase his friend got us unlimited rounds. I love how he made the date romantic but fun at the same time because a movie and dinner is so typical. Plus I got to kick his butt in go carting.
Anna said that we make the most adorable couple ever and that she is so happy for us. I'm so glad because Anna's opinion means the world to me and if she didn't apporove then there would be some serious decision making to do.
Homecoming is coming up in 2 weeks so Anna, Jess, Abby and Me are all going dress/shoe shopping this weekend!
"Alright we'll drive to your house to drop off Jess's and Abby's cars and I'll drive us all to the mall." Anna said before we all left for last period.
"Sounds good! Meet you guys at my house." I say as me and Tyler turn to walk to Anatomy together.
"Getting your homecoming dress today?" Tyler asks me.
"Yep! Me and Anna always go 2 weeks before homecoming because everything is on sale right now."
"I see. There's just so much time. Girls are weird with that stuff." He smiles at me.
I slap him on the shoulder playfully, "Hey, if you want a date that looks good I suggest you zip it." I laugh.
We got to our classroom and he puts his arm around my waist.
"You're going to look beautiful no matter what, so I'm not worried."
He leans down to kiss me and I give him a quick peck on the cheek, "Good one." and I turn with a smile into the classroom.

When the bells rings Tyler and I head to each other's lockers to get our stuff. Then we go out to the parking lot to his car so that he can drive me home.
"This week seemed like one of the longest weeks of my life." I groan and put my head back on the seat.
Tyler chuckles and reaches for my hand. He rubs it soothingly and kisses the top of it.
"This is very true, but don't worry. It was all worth it because now you get to relax with me at my lake house in Florida."
"I am so excited for that! I can't believe we have Monday, Tuesday, AND Wednesday off this coming week. Teacher conferences are the best." I say practically bouncing with excitment.
Tyler smiles at me and gives my hand a squeeze as we pull into my drive way. "I'm just as excited as you are. Especially because I get to spend the next 5 days with the best girl ever."
"Awwww you're too sweet." I give him a kiss on the cheek before I get out of the car and say, "See you bright and early tomorrow mornig hun!" and blow him a kiss.
He smiles and waves goodbye as he pulls out of my driveway.
I turn around to Anna, Jess, and Abby smiling and me and they all join in with "Awwwws!"
"Alright you guys can shut up now. Let's go shopping!" I say energetically.
They just laugh and we all hop into Anna's car.

"How about this one??" Anna gestures to a nice soft pink, one shoulder dress.
"Eh, it's okay I guess. It's not really me though."
I walk over to another rack of dresses and start to look through them. I hear Abby scream excitedly from across the isle and rush over to her.
"I found it! This is definitely the one! I HAVE to go try this on!!"
The dress she found was a shorter, emerald green, bandage dress with silver accents around the waist.
She is literally bouncing with excitement as she makes her way over to the dressing rooms.
"Well, that's one down and 3 more to go!"
I walk back over to where I was looking before and something caught my eye. Or should I say someONE. I squint a little bit to see if it was really him.
"Oh shit!" I whisper to myself and I duck down behind the dresses. crap crap crap crap crap!

I get down on my hands and knees and crawl to where Anna is. I pull on her and she jumps, freaked out, but gets down on the floor next to me.
"What the heck are you doing Nikki??"
"Guess who just walked in!?"
"Ummmm, who?"
I stand up a little bit and point in the direction where he was standing. She spots him and pulls me down onto the floor again.
"OH my gosh! You are so screwed if he sees you. Have you guys even talked at all since your broke up?"
"No Anna, I would've told you!" I look up and see him walking in this direction. "HE'S WALKING OVER HERE!" I whisper loudly to her.
I get back on my hand and knees and start to crawl to the dressing rooms but then I hear his voice.
"Nikki?... What are you doing on the floor?"
FML.

Stupid Emotions

I grab the first thing I see and stand up quickly.
"Oh, hey Josh. I um, saw this dress on the floor and liked the color so I uh picked it up."
He looks at it like he knew I was lying. Then I look down at it and realize that it was the ugliest printed shirt I have ever seen so I threw it behind me.
"But it's hideous, and it's not even a dress so.... yeah that wouldn't work very well."
I turn my attention to a different rack of dresses right next to me and search through it quickly without actually seeing what the dresses look like.
He comes up next to me and touches my arm. I flinch gently, not expecting his touch. He says to me, "So how have you been? We haven't talked in awhile."
"I didn't really have anything to say. But I guess since you're asking, I'm doing great. Thanks." I reply in a bitter tone.
"That's good. I'm glad to hear it. How's school going for you? You're probably in really tough classes this year. Although you're really smart so you're probably not having a lot of trouble."
"Yeah school is great. Thanks for asking. I'll see you around Josh."
"I can see that you're not quite over it. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I guess I'll see you later Nikki."
He starts to walk away when I say, "Over it? You think I'm not over us breaking up? Please Josh, I'm not one to hang onto the past. I am most definitely over it, I just don't see the point in us being friends."
"Why not?" He sounded a little hurt that I said that. Good.
"Why?? Really Josh? You screwed me over. You lead me on for so long and when we finally decided to break up, you told me it was 'sooooo' important to you that we at least stay friends. I mean I was fine with that until you acted like you didn't even give 2 shits about it and completely shut me out. So now you want to be friends? Well too bad, you lost your chance, because I wasn't waiting around this whole time for you to-"
He cut me off by putting his arm around my waist and bringing his face down to mine to kiss me. His lips were as soft as I remember and he kissed me so gently and so sweetly that I just melted in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him closer to me. He ran his tongue over my top and bottom lips and a jolt went through my body. I tightened my grip on him and brought my body in closer to his.
I hear Anna and Jess gasp from a distance, which immediately made me aware of what the heck I was doing. I drop my hold on him quickly and push him away from me urgently.
His face looks just as shocked as mine probably does because of how great that kiss was. He steps closer to me again but I put my hand on his chest. I shake my head and step back again.
"Are you saying you don't miss me at all after a kiss like that? I wouldn't believe you if you said you didn't."
That kiss was like nothing else I have ever experienced. It was more then just any old kiss that we have had before. There was a warmth in it that I could never explain how amazing it felt even if my life depended on it.
I couldn't even answer him. I put my hand over my face and walk away as quickly as I could without tripping over something. I hear Anna and Jess follow me out. Abby is at the counter making sure that the lady will hold her dress for her, and then sprints in our direction.
As I left the store, a feeling inside me grew and kept growing until I knew that I could not deny it even if i tried. It's the scariest yet the most beautiful feeling in the entire world. There was absolutely no way around this one.
I was in love with Josh.

The Kiss

Anna, Jess, and Abby all find me sitting on one of the benches in the mall with my face in my hands, trying to pull myself together.
"What the heck did I just see back there????" Anna says to me trying to pull me off of the bench.
I stand up and say, "Nothing. You saw nothing, because that did NOT just happen. I don't have feelings for him, I'm over him. I have Tyler... TYLER. Oh my gosh what the hell did I just do?? How am I supposed to tell him? My best friend... I'm going to hurt my best friend"
Jess puts her hands on my shoulders to stop me from pacing. "Calm down! You need to relax because this isn't that big of a deal. These kind of things happen all the time!"
We all look at her like she's crazy, "Alright maybe not ALL the time but you are not the first person that was kissed by her ex in a department store and are about to spend about a week with your current boyfriend at his summer house..." She starts to trail off because she knows how ridiculous she sounds right now.
"I saw that kiss Nikki, and there is no way you are over him. It looked like you two were going to morph into one person the way you constricted around him." Abby said shaking her head.
I groan and plop back down onto the bench.
"Well what am I supposed to do now? I have to tell Tyler. I can't just keep this from him."
Anna sits down next to me and says, "I think the real question is, which one do you actually love?"
And with that, I was completely silent, because I wasn't sure. Tyler was my best friend and he's so sweet and treats me so well. But then there's Josh, we have so much history together and he was my first love and that kiss... I can't even begin to explain it.
"Have you and Tyler even kissed yet?" Abby asks me.
"No we haven't... so how do I know if he's really the one ya know? I mean sure we can have unbelievable chemistry together and like a lot of the same things but if there's no spark in the kiss then the relationship is probably not meant to be... right?"
"You guys definitely have to kiss before you make up your mind about who you are going to choose Nikki."
Will that be the deciding factor in this? Is the kiss really that important in determining a relationship? I guess I'll find out sooner or later.

How the Hell Am I Supposed to Explain This??

As I sit on my bed, taking a quick break from packing, I hear my phone buzz on my dresser... again. Josh has not stopped calling or texting me ever since our little incident at the mall. This time is says "Please answer Nikki, I need to talk to you."
I give a long sigh and eventually say to myself, He'll never stop unless you say something.

Me: Fine Josh what is it?
I put my phone down for a just a second while I go grab a some yoga pants and a couple hoodies. When I check my phone again, he has already responded.
Josh: I have't stopped thinking about you... Do you think I can see you soon so we can talk in person?
Me: I don't know about soon but sure Josh. I'm going to Florida for the next 5 days...
Josh: Florida? With who?
I guess I should probably tell him about Tyler. He doesn't know that we're dating but I guess he'll find out soon enough.
Me: I'm going to Tyler's summer house he has there. Remember Tyler?
Josh: Oh... Yeah I remember... Alright, have fun then... I'll um just talk to you when you get back.
My stomach turned when I read that text. He cares so much that I'm with another guy this week... I mean I know I shouldn't care because Tyler IS my boyfriend but I do... UGH he's making this so difficult >.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 15.07.2012

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