Hope's Funeral

I was walking down the alise as I saw everybody dressed in black. I felt tacki and not wanted because I was the only one wearing blue and gray. I was at my best friend Hope's funeral. To be honest if she didn't die the way she had not this many people would be here. I sat in a pue were I was two seats down from her mourning family. I knew they hated me. As the cermon went on I had a flash back about that summer the last summer I spent with Hope. It all started when we were in Hope's backyard.
&
Me: Hope look there is no way you are going to Las Vagas
Hope: Anything is possible
Me: Yeah but you going to Las Vagas isn't
Hope: And how do you figure that
Me: Look you need money, transportation, food
She had cute me off.
Hope: Josh my dear you think way to out of the box
Me: Well thats a good thing because if I didn't you would be a wild one
Hope: I like wild
She put up her fingers and meowned like a cat
Me: Why do you want to go to Las Vagas so bad
Hope: Look life is short and I have so many places I would like to go and Las Vagas is one of them.
I didn't understand her when she told me life was short but she was right.
Hope: Look no one will be here forever, so I made me a list of things I want to do before my time rises and lift me up and shift me off to a newer place.
Me: Were is all this comming from
Hope: Nothing I'm sorry if I freaked you out
She walked to her house and blew me a kiss as I walked in mines. Me and Hope had been best friends since forever and now everything has been takened from me. I had to snap out of it as we walked up to her white casket and saw her beautiful lifeless body waiting for us to see. It didn't feel real, nothing did. When I looked at her it just felt as if she was asleep and she would soon wake up and jump on my back like she always did. A tear ran down my cheek as I rembered.

Remebering Hope

Hope: Lets do something fun today
Me: Like what
Hope: Lets go to the water park or something
Me: I thought you couldn't swim
Hope: Yeah but I will have you there
I smiled and picked her up as the dress she had on twirled in the spring/fall breeze. Her hair wooshed back in forth in the sun.
Hope: Don't you just love life?
Me: Yeah
All these things Hope was saying were really confusing me. She talked about life a lot and now I know why.
Hope: So are you comming or what?
Me: Yeah hold on
I went in my house grabbbed some swim geer and walked to the water park.
&
I was sitting on my bed when I herd a knock at the door. It was Hope.
Me: Parents arguing again
Hope: Yeah I just don't get it
Me: Well it's life right?
Hope: Yeah but why does it have to be this way?
Me: Your asking the wrong person
She laughed as she pushed me on the couch.
Hope: Don't you ever wonder whats it like up there?
Me: Up where?
Hope: Heaven
Me: Look why do you keep talking about this stuff?
Hope: Why not, we won't be here forever
Me: Shutup
I shedded tears as I remebered when my mom and dad died.
Hope: I'm sorry
Me: No your not, I'm tired of hearing about life and death.

I shedded tears as I remebered when my mom and dad died.
Hope: I'm sorry
Me: No your not, I'm tired of hearing about life and death.
Hope: Look I know you have lost two important people in your life but you can't keep hiding from it.
Me: Shutup
Hope started crying as she ran out the house. Then she yelled you just don't get it. I yelled get what, but she didn't answer. I walked back in the house and walked to the attic were I held all the pics of my late parents. I picked up one were I saw me and my mom and dad. I had to be like 6 because they died when I was eight and we hadn't took a picture since. But now I'm 16 and all grown up.

Hope Is Sick

Me and Hope always walked to school together but since we got in that argument we didn't walk. I walked in the building as I saw Hope leaning on her locker.
Me: Hey look I'm sorry about yesterday
Hope: Everything is fine
Me: You look weak are you ok?
Hope: Yeah I just didn't get enough sleep last night don't worry
I snapped out of my daze and thought, Hope looked weaker everyday and I didn't think nothing of it. Then I thought again.
Me: Are you sure you don't want me to take you to the nurse?
Hope: No but if your my mom sure
I pushed her into the locker and we both laughed as we walked to our class before the bell had rung.
&
I was at Hope house, We were sitting on her bed.
Hope: Umm excuse me I have to use the bathroom
Me: Ok but don't take to long
Hope: I will make sure I do the opposite
I laughed and layed back on the bed. It was 30 mintues now and Hope was still in the bathroom. So I got up and knocked on the door. But no answer.
Me: Are you ok in there?
Hope: Yeah I think the school lunch got me
I laughed then she opened the door. I grabbed her but let go.
Me: Whoa you are very hot
Hope: Yeah I know its hot in this house
Me: Are you sure your ok?
Hope: Why wouldn't I be its probably a fever my parents should be home they will give me some medicine.
Me: Ok but I gotta go
Hope: Bye take care
Me: You do the same
I walked out her house and walked to mines.

Telling Josh

We were in class and Hope was not looking good again. I had saw she had rashes everywhere and she was pale.
Me: Are you a vampire or what?
Hope: No why would you say that?
Me: Your pale
Hope: Oh silly
Me: Hope I'm getting worried about you. I mean look at you, you don't look the same
Hope: I'm fine I just need some BOOM!!!!!!!!
I hurried and picked her up, Hope had passed out in the middle of the floor. All kids rushed over to her. The teacher steped in and took her to the nurse. I didn't want to let go of her.
&
I had walked to Hopes house. She answered it.
Me: Look Hope I need an explanation you haven't been to school for weeks, whats going on?
Hope: Sit down
Me: No I don't want to sit down tell me now I had demanded
Hope: No you need to sit down
Tears started to run down her eyes.
Me: Why are you crying?
Hope: Just take a seat
I took a seat.
Hope: Look I umm
She kept studering I didn't know what she was talking about.
Hope: Josh I have Lekumia
My mouth had dropped opened.
Me: Your just playing right?
Hope: No I only have umm
Me: Stop studering and just say it!!
Hope: I only have 3 months to live
I got up.
Hope: Where are you going?
Me: Look right now I just don't feel like talking.
Hope: Look I need you Josh don't leave me
Me: Leave you, I could never do that but I see you can. Why didn't you tell me this. Everybody I loved so much and cared about are leaving me. This is what I was afraid of.
Hope: Afraid of what?
Me: I fall in love and then you leave. I thought bestfriends never kept secrets.
Hope: Belive me I didn't want to lie to you but I just didn't know how to tell you. I love you so much.
She kissed me.
I started to cry and so did she but I had to stay stong for her.
&
I got out of my daze and I was still sitting in the pue waiting until everybody saw her body. My aunt said we should go to the car so we can be there to the final cermony. I hated going to cemetaries. I hated that this would be the last time I see her. I loved her smile, She would light up my day. But now the darkness has come back and I'm caught up in a webb again trying to break out of it. But how? I had so many questions for Hope. Like why did she leave me or did she ever think about my feelings. Anger started to come up and tears came down my cheeks. But I didn't want to cry. Hope needed me and I had let her down. I went back to thinking as we waited for the police to start directing the traffic.

Hope

Hope: I love you so much but no matter what happens I want you to have a good life.
Me: But Hope my life is incomplete without you
Hope: Don't say that, when you grow old and have kids you will see me again, and in a better place.
Me: Hope I love you so much I can't let you go.
She let go of my hand and grabbed a tissue and handed it to me.
Me: Isn't this a little backwards?
Hope: What is?
Me: I'm suppose to be supplying the tissues for you
She laughed.
Me: Aren't you scared?
Hope: Of what? dying
Me: Yeah
Hope: No I'm just afraid of loosing you and my family.
Me: Hope you will always be in my heart.
Hope: I know that and you will always be in mines.
Me: Does your parents know?
Hope: They know I have lekumia but they don't know I only have 3 months to live
Me: Are you going to tell them?
She was silent.
Me: Are you?
Hope: NO
Me: Why not?
Hope: Look your my bestfriend right?
Me: Yeah, right
Hope: And if I was to tell you to keep a secret you promise you would keep it
Me: Yes
Hope: Well I don't want them to know, I want them to feel the pain when my time is up.
Me: Hope your kidding
Hope: No they haven't been here for me now and they won't be there for me when I die so why should I care.
Me: Hope you have to tell them
Hope: No and you said you wouldn't tell them right
Me: But Hope
Hope: Josh please I'm counting on you
Me: Fine
She hugged me and kissed me.
I could feel her body getting weaker and weaker. I had wished a miracle would soon come one day and me and Hope be together forever with our four kids.
Me: Hope you stay strong and you will grow to be old.
She laughed and put her head on my chest.

The Cemetary

We had finally arrived at the cemetary and I was nervous. My aunt had brought flowers and I brought our friendship bracelet she had made for me and her. As the cermony went on it was the final. I layed the flowers and bracelet on her white casket as they pulled it down. Then I blew a kiss at her. I walked over to her parents.
Me: Umm sorry for your lost
Mrs. Bate: Look I will never be able to trust you again. My baby gurl could've had a whole life ahead of her
Me: How is her death my fault?
Mr. Bate: You didn't tell us our gurl only had 2 months to live
Me: The doc told her 3 but I guess not, and belive me I wanted to tell you guys but she told me to promise and not to tell you all.
Mrs. Bate: Well how come?
Me: She said you were never in her life when she was alive and you won't be in hers when she died.
Mr. Bate: Enough!
Me: So look don't blame me, I loved your daughter so much
Mrs. Bate: And she loved you
Me: What?
Mrs. Bate: Look we didn't know how to tell you this but Hope was pregnant.
Me: What you must have mistakened
Mr. Bate: No she died early because of it
Me: Why didn't she tell me?
Mrs. Bate: She was afraid
Tears ran down my eyes.
Me: Well how do you know that?
They handed me a diary that said HOPE'S SECRETS. They showed me the page. It read

Dear Bestfriend,
It's been alot and I have kept so many things from you. Like one I was pregnant with your baby.

I stoped I couldn't read no more. I threw the book on the ground and walked to the car. Then I went back to rembering as the tears ran down.

Hope: Look everything will be ok
Me: One more question
Hope: What?
Me: Aren't you mad?
Hope: When I first found out that I had lekumia I couldn't belive my ears. Then they told me I had only 3 months to live I was devestated, I was mad and angry but I had to do whats right. Stope being mad at God and get over it. He is taking me to a better place.
Tears ran down her eyes.
Me: Look I love you so much
Hope: I wish I could stay but God has better plans for me.
Tears came out my eyes.
Me: Hope I won't you to finish the list you made
Hope: I can't, Josh you were right going to Las Vagas is impossible
Me: No I was stupid and wrong!
Hope: I can't

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.06.2012

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Widmung:
I dedicte this book to my friends.