I walked into my house after school today and noticed something very strange. I had a message. Now I realize this may seem like noting to the normal sixteen year old girl, but for me this is something. A big something. See, I have no friends. It’s not by choice and not my fault at all, I swear. I’m just… different.

But more about that later, back to the message. I only have one friend and she lives in England. But she never calls anyway, we are pen pals. Speaking of which, I am waiting for a letter from her.

Back to the message. So yeah the only people I really ever talk to are my mother and Elizabeth. But my mother is never home and she certainly has no reason to ever call me. So I’m standing here completely dumbfounded by this message when it occurs to me to just play the damn thing.

It’s my father.

“Hi Annabella, it’s your father. (like I didn’t know it was him already). I have a question for you and would appreciate it if you would give me a call.”

Then do you know what he did? He left his cell number. I mean come on, what kind of a father needs to leave his cell phone number for his own daughter. I think that sums up our relationship quite well.

So now I understand that a normal teenage person would just call her father back. Not me. Remember when i made the comment about our relationship? Well, I wasn’t kidding. See a few years ago I would have been thrilled to hear from my father, but he would have had no reason to call because he would have still been living here. Then he had to go on a business trip.

So if you don’t know yet, business trips never end well. Okay so that’s not fair, maybe some do. But my father’s did not. I now have a stepbrother and stepmother half way across the country…see what I mean?

Now I practically never hear from him, but that’s ok. I don’t need him.

Ill just call him back later.

***

By the time I walked around the house to make sure I really did unplug every possible plug in the house this morning before I left for school, I had forgotten about my father’s call all together. My OCD tends to take over my life like that. And that’s also not to say I was not happy for the forgetfulness.

After the outlet extravaganza I decided it was time for a walk. I absolutely love to walk. I rechecked all the outlets, slipped into my yellow converse, checked the lock on the door several times and was on my way. I never really decide where I'm going before I walk, but nine times out of ten I end up at my lake.

Okay so maybe it’s really not my lake at all, but I have a nice secluded spot on the north Shore of Sandy Lake. The area was cleared out a long time ago and there is a large, flat boulder in the middle that I sit on quite often. It overlooks a beautiful part of the lake and when I stay there late enough, as the sunset fades into darkens, I sometimes can forget who I am and what my life is like.

Alright, enough of the sappy stuff. Right now I'm just excited to be going on a walk. But today I find myself heading in a different direction. I walk the hour into town and find myself in front of a twenty story office building. Go figure, it’s my mothers.

She is a defense lawyer, and a damn good one at that. But that is probably all thanks to my father. After he left us, she threw herself into her work. Now she is one of the most sought after defense lawyers in Canada. Good for her. Too bad she forgot she had a daughter in the process.

That’s ok; I'm good on my own.

Now, I almost never actually go inside this building. I know that must seem strange, but think about it. There is my mother, plus all of her colleagues in power suites, plus the really creepy receptionist at the front desk. So maybe she’s really not that creepy. And maybe she is tall and thin and blond. Any maybe that is the opposite of the way I look. And maybe that is why I don’t like her. But let’s just stick with the creepy thing I said for now. I mean, all things considered, would you really want to go in there? I didn’t think so.

But today I decide I will go in, it’s time for a change.

I walk up the twenty-six steps and open the huge glass doors. I walk right up to the receptionist, (yes the creepy one is still there), and ask for Sandra Tommels. She has converted back to her maiden name since, well you know.

Blondie tells me she is on the seventeenth floor and that she is in a meeting and “would I like to wait”? Sorry, can’t say I actually want to wait. I press the button for the elevator, and decide to take the stairs instead.

By the time I have reached the seventeenth floor, I have gone up 173 stairs. If you don’t know, then let me be the first to tell you that is A LOT of stairs! But at least now I am finally at the top. I walk over to Suite 201 and open the door. My mother is standing at the front of a large, rectangle table, talking to a good 15 suites. She doesn’t even look nervous. Wow, why didn’t I get that gene?

She noticed me enter in the back of the room, but no one else did, so I took a seat and waited.

“That is going to have to be all for one day. Think over what I have told you and we will meet again a week from today.”

Now everyone is getting up to leave and start to notice me. There are some whispers that may not be about me at all, but it’s just the fact that they saw me at begin with; it’s beginning to make me nervous. Now I'm glad that I’m not my mother.

“Annabella, what do you think you are doing here? I am at work! You cannot just barge in there anytime you like.”

“Yeah but mother-“

“No ‘yeah but mother’ me. Annabella, honey, you can’t just come in here anytime you want. If you want to see me during work, you must at least wait until I am done.”

“Next thing you know you’re going to tell me to make an appointment!”

“Actually, yes, that is a wonderful idea. Why don’t you go downstairs and make an appointment to see me sometime tomorrow. Have Juliet schedule an hour of my time tomorrow, we will get lunch.”

“Are you serious? Why can’t we just-“

“Annabella darling I need to be getting back to work now. I will see you tonight if you are not in bed when I get home. “

Yup. That’s my mother. Sweetheart isn’t she?

***

That was more than enough of that. I took the elevator down this time, now wanting to deal with the constant increasing number of stairs going through my head. I passed by Blondie without a word, not caring in the slightest about making an appointment to see my self-concerned mother.

I storm out the double glass doors and down the twenty-six steps. It’s time for the other love of my life, second only to my converse: chocolate.

On my way home, I stop at the local convenience store for two Reeses, two Snickers, and just for the sake of it, three Twix.

Time to go home. I walk up the front steps, kick my converse into the corner, check all the outlets and locks in the house, and head up the stairs to bed. Its not quite as lateas I would normally go to bed but I'm liking the ‘changing things’ theory. I think I’ll read for a little while. I pick up my own personal bible, Kissing Doorknobs, and start to read it for the thirty-second time. I break into my Twix and start to drift off…

When I suddenly am jolted awake, remembering that my father called earlier. Oh great, he’s not even in my life anymore and he is still managing to keep me awake. Ok so now I need to decide what to do. Do I call him? No. that would make too much sense. But do I not call him? Is that right to not call my father back? Well of course its fine, I mean this guy did leave us high and dry. Leaving us for a new life in sunny California. Oh forget him. I’ll call him tomorrow.

***

By the time I wake up the next morning I am running very late. I jump out of bed and rush into the bathroom , practically fly into the shower when I suddenly remember…its Saturday. And guess what? I don’t have to be to work for three hours.

Alright, now I'm frustrated. What am I going to do for the next three hours. Well I can tell you what I'm not going to do. I am not, under any circumstances, going to call my father. Not a chance. Not yet anyway.

So for those who may not know, I work at a retirement home. Retirement home is the name, caring for old people is the game.

Okay so maybe its not quite like it sounds. And don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy it. I have met some very nice people at work. An old man who sits around telling stories of World War II and a lady who talks about her life for hours about her life making it on two dollars a week during the Great Depression. I help make them lunch and in turn, I get lifetime friends…okay so maybe only their lifetime, which in retrospect is now considerably shorter than mine, but still, you get my point.

So on the walk home from work, realize that I need to call my father at some point. Okay, I have made the elective decision that I will call him when I get home. Yeah… that’s a good idea. When I get home. After I take the long way home from work that is.

I reach my front steps once again. Walk to the door, unlock it. Okay here goes. I head for the phone when I suddenly decide to check the outlets in the home just one more time before I make that fateful phone call.

Alright, there’s no more avoiding it and I know it. I pick up the phone and dial. Rings once, twice, three times and I get a voicemail. Thank god. I leave a brief message and quickly hang up the phone.

I think I'm in the clear when suddenly, seemingly out of thin air, the phone rings. Our house phone never rings. This cannot be good. What do I do? Do I answer or throw the phone and run in the other direction?


I'm just about to take option two when I click talk. Here goes nothing.

“Hello?”
“Annabella?”
“Yes...”
"Hi Annie, it’s your father.”

Wow he really does think I'm oblivious doesn’t he? Great this conversation is going very well already cant you tell?

“Hi.”

“So Annie, I was thinking that you may want to come down to San Fransisco for a few weeks? Spend your birthday here? I know Holly and Jake would really like to see you.”

Great, the “steps” want to see me. Lucky me.

“Ummm…”

“Really think about it Annie, I think you would enjoy it. You would have your own room here and everything. And I know you do well enough in school to take a few days off. I don’t know, it’s just a thought. Why don’t you take a few days to think about it, run it by your mother and give me a call back? I can have a plane ticket waiting for you at the airport whenever you’re ready.”

“Okay Dad, I’ll think about it.”

And so ended our first conversation in about a year.

Now the question is, will I consider it? Yes, I think I really will give it some thought.

***

Okay, so here is the deal. I gave my fathers proposition some serious thought last night and this is what I came up with. My mother will not miss me. My school will not miss me. And really, there is no one else here to miss me. I can have my letters forwarded so I can keep in contact with Elizabeth, and that is everyone who will even notice. Plus that conversation with my mother on Friday really got to me. She doesn’t have enough time for me, so maybe my father will.

Here goes nothing. I pick up the phone and call my father again. He answers on the first wring.

“Hi Annabella, have you considered my offer already?”
“Yeah Dad I think I did and…”
“And?”
“And how fast can you have my ticket here?”
“Tomorrow if you like. What did your mother-“
“Okay then Dad, I will get to the airport tomorrow.’
“Sounds great Annie, I will meet you at LAX tomorrow evening. Who knows, maybe Holly and Jake will join me.”
“yeah Dad, sounds… okay I’ll see you then.”

And so ends our second conversation in a year. I will pack tonight, making sure I get my converse and Kissing Doorknobs ready to go. I decide to pack a lot, I mean, who knows how long I really will be there.

***

The next day, I take a cab to the airport. I walk up to the teller and he informs me that I have a ticket at the American Airlines counter.

About thirty minutes later I am sitting on a plane to California. Comfy, I must say. First class even. Wow, this could work out just fine.

I fell asleep for a while and awoke as the captain was announcing our decent into LAX.

After landing, I found the luggage, and then my father found me. Wow, he has started to gray. Not suprising, a double life can have that effect on a person.

Anyway, just as I get to my luggage, my father reaches me. A friendly hello and he says something quite common in this situation.

“I am so pleased your mother was okay with you coming all the way here Annie.”

What he does not know, I decided what with her work and oh so busy lifestyle, she wouldn’t even notice I was gone. I guess we will see if she finds out soon enough.

***

So just as my father had predicted, the whole family was there. Great, the steps want to see me. Lucky me.

I did have time to duck and run because I saw him before he saw me, but I decide that there was no point in it. Especially because by the time I formulated the full thought in my head, he saw me. Well, here goes nothing. Holly practically runs up to me to introduce herself, which kind of happened while she was giving me a hug, which was a little weird. But at least she is friendly. Jake just kind of meanders up and gives me a little head nod thing. Again, a little weird, but I'm guessing its just his age. My father finally makes his way to the front of the pack and practically suffocates me in a hug. Great, my dad is going to kill me and I just got here.

Well, the luggage took about five years to finally get to us and by the time it did I realize I am exhosted and my dad decides its time to hit the road. Finding the car also takes a bit longer then planned, but we do eventually reach a red Toyota Hilander. For some reason I am not surprised at this car. It’s a family car that still shows hes not lacking in money or style.

It’s a good hours drive to his house, some two story yellow suburban thing. Nice really, just a bit too ordinary. To every his own right?

Okay, so I had just walked up to the front door when this huge beast lunges out the door and practically eats my face off!

Alright, so maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point I think. A mammoth of a Golden Retriever runs out and puts his front paws right up onto my shoulders.

“Buddy, get down!”

Good old dad to the rescue! And with such an original name! wow what have I gotten myself into?

Well, we finally make our way into the house and I must admit, its pretty nice inside. Quite modern, with a conventional feel to it all the same. If Holly decorated this place, she sure did a nice job.

We make our way upstairs and as promised, I did get my own room. Nice one too. There is a four poster bed in the middle of the room with a table on one side topped with a lamp. There is a walk in closet on one wall, the one opposite the bed with a full length mirror on the front. On the wall in between there is a window and underneath the window is a desk and matching chair, all a deep redwood matching the bed frame. On the desk sits a new Dell laptop and another lamp. Besides the lamps, there is a ceiling fan with light. And opposite the wall with the window is a wall with several shelves tacked onto the walls, staggering along the wall. At the very end of that wall is a bookshelf, already full of books. Finally, the floor is carpeted in thick white matching the down comforter on the bed with an array of colored pillows.

Quite nice I must admit.

My father looks at me expectantly, like he wants me to say something which leads me to believe they did this room up for me. Some of the added comforts anyway.

“Wow, Dad, not bad.”
“Well, the style was mostly Holly, but we both put it together yesterday.”

While I was thinking of something nice to say, we hear Holly call “Dinner!”

My Dad gives me an apprehensive glance (which I understand to mean ‘Here goes nothing’) and we head downstairs.

When we reach the kitchen, Jake confirms my suspicion about Holly. She doesn’t cook. Ever evidently. This is a special occasion to them I guess.

We all take our places at the table and Holly brings over a bowl of some delicious smelling chicken riggies. I am soon to find out that not everything that smells good actually tastes the same way.

She places the bowl on the table with a huge smile on her face and I cant help but notice the concerned glances from my father and Jake.

No one reaches for the serving spoon, already lodged into the bowl.

“Okay, I will go first then!”

Poor Holly is so excited about their pasta dinner.

She reaches for the spoon and pulls out the whole bowl of pasta with her! Literally, the whole thing! Everyone is silent for about 30 seconds and then Holly bursts out laughing! She has this high pitched but humerous laugh that gets my father laughing. He has more of a deep chuckle the makes me giggle a little and even Jake gives off a grin that I think is the closest that the he comes to laughing at any time. Next, its my turn. I completely lose it and cant help myself from laughing.

We all sit there and just giggle at this for at least ten minutes! It really lightened to mood.

“So who wants to go to dinner?” my father asks “My treat!”

For some unbeknownst reason, to me anyway, this starts a whole new round of laughing.

Well, by the time we stop, we pile into the SUV and are on our way.

Eventually, we come across some little Italian restaurant and decide its about time we stop for a bite.

Inside is a bit crowded, but we are seated almost immediately.

The waitress comes by, says her name is Mary, and takes our drink orders. I notice that my father only gets a Coke. Just before he left us I had noticed he was drinking a whole lot more beers than before. My mother at her best again I'm sure.

We decide to just order this huge bowl of Chicken Riggies (I have never before been to a restaurant where you can order a platter of pasta and they bring you plates for everyone to eat from the platter. Its pretty cool I must say.)

I start to realize that my Dad has it pretty good now. And I'm starting to think that I could get used to this life with the laughter and the crazy dogs and thing that I find that I missed the most… a family.

***

Well, its been about a week now and my mother still has not called. I'm not going to lie…I really don’t want her to. I mean, I realize that my mother was never really a very attentive person, but think about it. What other parent do you know that could go a week without realizing that her only child is not living there anymore?! Yeah, that’s what I thought, I don’t know any others either.

But besides that, this week has been wonderful! Really! My father has been a real Dad and while hes still a little rusty at having a daughter, hes trying his hardest and getting quite good at it.

He does simple things that my mother never did. Like ask if I want to run to the store with him or suddenly he will shout out “Anyone up for some ice cream?” and everyone (including Buddy) will walk down to the ice cream parlor on the corner.

Then on the Wednesday about two weeks after my abrupt departure from my mothers life, the phone rings.

The funny thing is that this is not usually a big deal here. The phone rings all the time. People seem to like this family, which is a strange thing for me. I'm not used to being part of a family that actually is liked by the general public.

But anyway, it rings and my father picks up.

“Hello?”
“Oh, hi Sandra. What? Oh yes she is here. No I didn’t- What do you want me to- Okay I think-“

Yeah that about all he got out. The occasional “yeah but-“ or “I understand but you need to-.” My poor father.

So by the time he hangs up the phone I think I'm in for a good “talking to” as my mother would call it.

Instead he just looks at me and shrugs as if to say ‘yeah I know, I was married to her.’ And walks out of the room.

That was the first almost contact with my mother and know what I realized more than anything else? I really am not quite ready to go home yet.

***

The days since my mothers call have been great. I spend as much time with my father and his family as I can. I even find that I don’t long for my long walks alone anymore.

I think I have seen my Dad more in the last three weeks than I have seen my mother in the last three years. No joke.

Oh and something else? I really have come to like Holly. She is very nice and I really enjoy just hanging out with her. We go shopping sometimes which is totally cool because I haven’t really had the chance to go shopping with anyone else since… well probably since my mother forgot she had a daughter. And we even have learned to cook together!

Alright I will admit, we don’t so much as “cook” as “experiment” with some ingredients and hope they don’t explode before we put them on the table for dinner. The food we make is so much better than any of the gourmet food that my mother brings home as leftovers from her business ventures.

I know that I will have to call my mother soon, especially because I need to know what to do about school. But my father talked to me about something. He offered to enroll me in school here, finish out the year and see what happens after that.

I had so much trouble deciding to even call him that first day and now I think its so funny that I didn’t want to talk to him because now I cant see how I could ever want to go back home. Not yet anyway. I will give it a few more days of thought and then give my mother a call.

Maybe this is the change that my life was looking for.

***

Alright, so here's the deal…I have a problem.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm sure you’re sitting there saying ‘what else is new’ and under a different circumstance, I may (okay definitely would) agree with you.

But this is different. This is a BIG problem.

Alright, best to just get it out there.

My mother has called three times in the last week and I have avoided all the calls because guess what? I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE!

There, its out there happy? Cue laughing.

God, I cant imagine how redundant I must sound by now!

First, ignore my dad. Then live with my Dad. Then ignore my mom.

But I will give you one guess as to the difference between these two situations?

Okay, times up. If you didn’t get it by now you don’t pass GO and don’t collect $200.

I am not. I repeat, am NOT going to live with my mother again.

Everything just feels so right here, why would I want to leave? The step-mommy and brother and Dad…everything just is so right. I have even got used to “the beast.” Yeah, that’s what I decided will be my name for him.

But anyway, can’t get off track this time.

So what does one do in such a situation? Do I tell my mom? Or do I continue to ignore her calls and just go straight to my dad with my dilemma?

Dad. Deffinatelly my Dad.

But…..

Okay, so try to keep up with me on this one.

What if I told my Dad, but my Dad didn’t want me to stay? Or what if I told him and he ordered me to call my Mother immediately? Or what if he told me that I have completely lost my marbles and that ‘no insane individual is going to live under my roof’ and he kicks me out? Or what if he goes completely insane and just combusts? Ohmygod!!!!

Wow, I need to eat less cheese before I go to bed.

My Dad. Deffinatelly my Dad.

***

So heres the latest, I called my mom! I know, I'm incredible!

Okay, and here really is the latest…that was a lie. I know I know I'm terrible! But the thing is, I just cant seem to get up the courage to call her.

I have spent so much of my life with her avoiding me that I don’t really know how to talk to her.

But I realize that it must be done, so here goes nothing.

One ring. God what am I doing? Two rings. Where the hell does she think she is? Her daughter is calling after all! Three rings. Okay once more and I'm hanging up. Three rings. Alright this time I really mean it. Last time. Fourth ring. Alright, hanging up. Answer.

“Hello? Annabella?"

Damn. Why me?

“Hello? Annabella are you there?"

I guess I have to answer considering I did call her and all.

“Yea mother, I'm here.”
“Well, what did you call for?”
“I think we need to talk.”
“About what? Spit it out Dear I don’t have all day.”

Ever the nurturing mother she is

“I think I want to live here for a while.”

Chirp. Chirp. Silence.

“Hello? Are you there? I thought you didn’t have all day?”
“Don’t you sass me Annabella, I don’t know who you think you are but you have no right to just call me up and announce to me that you are not living with me anymore.”

Yeah well at least this time I let her know what I was doing considering she didn’t seem to appreciate when I left the country without telling her all that much.

“I think you should let me talk to your father now.”
“Would if I could but I cant.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Gotta go mom. Bye.”

And that was that. I hung up. Now do you see why I lied to begin with? You cant tell me you would have wanted to make that call. Didn’t think so. Knew you would join my side!

***

So I guess this means that I should talk to my father about all this, considering I still have not told him my decision to stay and all.

But this will also mean that he will have to have contact with my mother soon. The poor, poor man.

Then again, he was the fool who married her to begin with, so he can cope.

***

Well, I told him this morning, and guess what? He took the news quite well! He even offered to call my mother. Poor whelp.

He also called the local school (Jakes school I believe) to see if I could register this late in the year.

Great news. I can start as soon as I am registered. Lucky me.

So I guess this is it. The start of my new life.

My mother will adjust. No one home will miss me. And maybe one of these days I can even get my mother to actually forward my letters from Elizabeth here.

But until that time I guess I will just have to chill out here and let the good times roll.

Who knows, maybe I will even make a friend!

Haha I made a funny!

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.12.2010

Alle Rechte vorbehalten