The moving motion outside the car stops. My day dream stops as well. I turn of my ipod and look to the front seat, at my dad. I open the car door and look around. Nice glass house. I hear rushing water beyond some willows. I start to walk that direction. The grass is nice and green. The willows are beautiful. My own little forest. The trees finally end, and there is a nice grassy meadow. I see a river. I smile. There was a huge mountain/rock place I could climb. I turn and see a waterfall. The sun came down and made everything glow. That’s why I like 4pm-6pm. It makes things glow.
I turn around and walk back to the house. My parents stand there, talking. “I love it!” I yell. They turn and smile. “We could go fishing!” I yell. “And hiking!” I add. Now all I needed was my favorite band.
“I’m going to take a walk.” I say. They nod, and I walk back through the trees, and follow the river, towards the rocks. I See a cave, but there is an opening. I squint. I can make out a weird figure. Oh. I hear music. A beautiful mans voice, familiar lyrics, and a beautiful tune on the guitar. I lean on the caves opening side, watching and listening. I knew it was from panic at the disco, Time to dance. I smile, and lean closer, and a rock falls. Crap. The music stops and he looks this way. I hurry away. “Wait!” I hear. I turn and trip. Awww dammit! I see a boy-looks my age, come running out of the cave, with a guitar in hand. He turns and then spots me. I smile, blushing. “Are you ok?” He asks. I bite my lip. “Yeah.” I say, getting up.
He smiles. “I-I’m not a creeper or anything.” My voice goes sqeaky, then goes low, then normal. I am nervous, and I bet he can tell. “oh, that’s fine, I like having an admirer.” He says, tension gone. I begin to come relaxed. “Oh, well I just can’t help hearing beautiful music, I-I love live music, or from an ipod, but I-“ I stop. I was babbling. He laughs. “Well, My name is Ryan.” He says. I smile. “I’m Rose.” I say. “I will see you later?” He asks. I blush. “Sure, I think I might be spending a lot of time here…” I say and turn around. I feel his hands on my back. I turn. “Yeah?” I ask. He smiles, his face shows shock. he gulps. “See you later.” He says. I smile and walk away. I walk away only to hear,
“Baby, I love you
I never want to let you go
The more I think about,
The more I want to let you know...
That everything you do,
Is super fucking cute
And I can't stand it

I've been searching for
A girl that's just like you
Cause I know
That your heart is true…”
*Never SHout Never

I smile as I walk away.
I go to the big city. We were on the outskirts of Chicago. There were some pretty wild parties, from what I heard. I walk around with my mom. I see some guys sitting at a table outside. We were at a mall. They smile. I smile back. I turn around. I hear them. “Dibs.” I hear one. “Dude!” I hear another. I smile, fighting the urge to laugh. “Dude! Jeez, Brendon, lay off.” I hear the first one. I hear foot steps.
“Hey.” I hear the guy. I turn. “Want to go to a party?” He asks. “What time?” I ask, startling him, because I am not saying anything like, “Will you be there?” I might use that one day, though. “Tomorrow night at nine.” He says. I nod. I didn’t want to call him. “Here’s my number, because I’m new and don’t know where the hell anything is.” I say, and give him my number.
My mom walks out of the mall going to the car. She had to get her meds…jeez. “Whats your name?” I ask, backing up towards my mom. “Chase.” He says. I smile. “Call me Rose.” I say, and walk away. I can say that to boys I don’t really like. But if it were Ryan, I don’t know if I could…

I walk through my forest. I hear the guitar. I left my hair down. Every time I turn my head, its softness touches my neck, my back, and my face. I see him sitting by the river singing. I walk slowly to where he is. He turns and smiles. “You inspire me.” He says, strumming the guitar. I smile. “I do?” I ask. He nods. “Want to hear a song?” He asks. I nod. I would tell him about the party later.
“Your so real, I can touch, so beautiful, Shes just so real! Green eyes, Blue skies, those beautiful eyes! Sun flowers, good things, no more waiting…
Green eyes, Blue skies, red cheeks, musical laugh, soft touch, voice like velvet,…
Her smile helps me make it through,
So beautiful,
Bright lights, dark nights, no fights, She’s a beautiful sight,
She makes no sense, but we do, she’s got me obsessing, I can’t forget about her,
Rain falls, she laughs, days pass!
Soon to be,
Green eyes, blue skies, red cheeks,
She can’t,
But I can,
The time is off balance,
Was I wrong?
No, no more pretending,
Hope this isn’t a misunderstanding,
Gold hair flowing,
Shes dancing,
I’m fighting,
It’s time I stand,
I couldn’t stand it,
Now shes here,
Now I’m realizing and understanding,
Will she do the same?”
He says the last part, and looks at me. This moment is all intense. He sets the guitar down, and somehow, I’m right near his face. Are noses and inch apart. If I kiss him, two things could happen.
1. He doesn’t want it, and things get all awkward and I run away.
2. He wants it, but I’m a bad kisser, but he doesn’t tell me


What if He kisses me? Just kiss him, I decide. I lean in more. I feel his breathing on me. I lean in more and he pulls away. “Sorry.” I say, looking away. Angry tears threatening to come. I push myself off the ground. “You know what? I’m just going to go, I like the song.” I say, and run away. I turn to see him staring straight at the spot I was at, then looking at me. “Wait!” He says. I turn around and run.
I get home. “Rose, you have a call.” My dad says. I nod and look at the phone. I call the number on my cell phone. “Hello?” a guy voice answers. I smile. “Hello Chase.” I say. “Hello-Uhh-err…” I hear him stutter. “Rose.” I say. “Oh, hey Rose, Where’s your house, I could pick you up…” He says. So I tell him where I live and wait outside on my porch.
I see Ryan walking towards me. Crap. I see the car pull up. “Hey, whos this?” Chase asks. He was good looking…not as good as Ryan though. I smile. “Just a friend, Bye, Ryan.” I say and get in the car. Ryan stands there, astonished.
I wave as chase backs up. He pulls up to this place that has many parked cars and loud music. Chase smiles. I smile back, thinking about Ryan.

(Ryan)
I walk back to the cave I’ve been in for years. Playing music no-one hears, until she did. Now people see me. I can touch her! I haven’t had this feeling in a long time. I close my eyes as the memory plays back in my head. The big knife, prom, my girl friend running, me trying to help her. I remember how the big knife felt in my back. All those teenager movies, the boyfriend always gets killed. She lived, and had a happy ever after. I didn’t. I never got to live. I still am a virgin for Christsakes! I sigh. I kinda messed up there. Going too fast. When that dude, “Chase” saw me, I freaked. I’m a fucking ghost. And a girl can touch me, I can touch her, she can hear me, and made it so others can too. She will come again, I know she will.
She has to, or I might lose the rest of my sanity.

(Rose)
Chase’s hand is on my waist, we sway to the music. He kisses my neck. I smile. I wasn’t angry anymore. But I was hurt. So hurt. It was my fault, but he pulled away. Chase pulls at my hand. I follow. He leads me upstairs. I roll my eyes. Why the hell would I sleep with him? I don’t even know anything about him, but the things he said at the party. His dads dead, his moms a drunk, life sucks for him, and he wants me. Hmmm. I don’t know, I think that’s pretty much a stranger to me. “Chase…” I say. He pushes my gently against the wall. He kisses me. His hands on my waist. I pull away, kiss him again, and walk down stairs. “Where are you going?” He asks, following me down the steps. “I’m walking home.” I say. Chase swallows, completely sober now. “I can drive you home.” He says. I smile. “I wouldn’t want you to get a DUI are anything…” I say. He smiles. “My Uncle’s a cop.” I shrug and follow him to the car.

He pulls up at my house. I smile. “Thanks.” I say, and give him a kiss. I walk out and open my front door. I Tell my parents I am going to walk to the river.
I walk quietly as the wind gently pulls its warm fingers through my hair. I love how the moon lights up the water, making it gleam. I sit down and touch it. Not that cold. I close my eyes and breathe in the summer air. I breathe out and smile. “Take time if you need it… rewind and repeat it, When tears fall you better believe it, Every day feels like forever..” I sing, gently. The song is done awesome-ly by, New years day. “I take what I can get, but its not on my wish-list.” I add, and keep going through the verse. I stand up, and begin to singer louder, on beat. “Say what you want, I believe it, No you don’t really have to mean it.” I walk along the river, not caring if people were here listening. My short dress protests when I jump in and keep singing in the water. Even though I didn’t have music, I knew it was time for the kind of solo thing. I was choking on water anyway. I come back up, and swim. I start to sing another one of their songs,
“I'll always have a sunrise,
I'll always have a sunset,
I'll always have the ocean,
to help deal with these emotions.
and there'll always be a highway
that's running through the desert
in southern California.

but all I really want is you,
all I really want is you!”
I sing. I look down the cave. I was high…on love-or something. Maybe excitement. Right now, I am so happy, I could believe in flying pigs. I start to walk down towards it.

(Ryan)
Her lips touch mine. Her breathe smells like beer. I can’t stop myself. My first kiss, In how long? I wanted so badly for it to be Rose. But this pretty drunk came up. I hear a pretty voice, singing free style, the earth being her music. I stop and pull away. “Forever…” I make out. I look down, and see her jump in. I panic. What the hell?!? I start to yell her name, but the drunk pulls me down. “I’m sorry.” I say, and shake my head. I hear a splash, and I look down again. Rose is swimming down the river. She is still singing. She gets put ad begins singing something different. I understand the lyrics. “I got to pee.” The girl whispers and leaves. She starts looking down the cave. Her make-up running. Her hair clinging to her. Her dress leaking water. Her shoes probably got lost when she jumped. “Rose.” I whisper, and jump down. She doesn’t hear me. She stops, and looks down the cave. “Dammit.” She whispers. I smile. I touch her shoulder. She turns. She smiles. “Hi.” She says. “Hi.” I say.

(Rose)
I stare at Ryan. His hand slowly goes to my face. He rubs something off of my face, Under my eyes-probably my make-up. He is so warm. I shiver. His hand trails down my dress. “Your wet and cold.” He says. I nod, jaw set. I look down. “Hey look, About today, I didn’t mean to do that… I mean I loved the song…” I say. I look back up at him. His hands play with the tie on my dress-no, not the back tie, the front bow. He smiles. He looks down at the bow as I look up at him. His bottom lip trembles. I love the moon. It makes his face way pretty. He looks at me. One hand slowly and gently goes to my waist. The other goes to my face. I step on my tip toes and we kiss. My hand grips his shirt by his waist. The kiss turns to a PG13 no tongue kiss.

(Ryan)
That other kiss doesn’t count. This one does. I pull her closer. Her wet lips are somewhat comforting. But her presence is what I’ve wanted. That’s when I knew.
I loved her.

My lips tremble on hers. She guides me. “Hey!” The drunk drones it out. Shit. I pull away and smile. She smiles. “Drunk people these days…” She says. I nod, and its like she’s intoxicating, This wasn’t temptation, I already am in and can’t get out.

(Rose)
Jeez, I have never done this before! Make out with a boy for a long time, its really nice. The drunk lady speaks again. Ugghhh. “Hey! Oh, Hey!?! He’s mine!” I hear. I pull away and look at her, my mouth open, but somehow I know I’m smirking. I get pushed in the water. The water is a light dark blue. I open my eyes and look around. Pretty. My eyes burn. I look up and see two figures, together. Uhh-one fell. Then I remember. Hey! Wait. He was kissing me, and that drunk-My chest starts to hurt. I shake my head under water. If I could cry under water-maybe I am-but I would be. I start to swim away. I finally have to swim up for air, and their nowhere in sight. And either is the normal rocks, or the cave. I’m lost. Crap!!!
I cough and get out of the water. I hug myself. I see lights through a couple of trees. I walk through them to the lights. It turns out, Those lights, are my house. I smile and start running. I hear my name being called. “Rose! Oh Rose!... Look what you did!” I hear Ryan. I smile. See ya’ Ryan! I reach my house and yank the door open. I go to bed, and dream of one of my biggest mistakes. The kiss, trusting Ryan, all of it, anything to do with him. “Take Time if you need it, Ryan, When tears fall you better believe it, Say what you want, I wont believe it, Take time if you need it, because I know you don’t mean it. This was just a kiss, a mistake.” I say in a singing/serious voice. I mixed up the lyrics.

(Ryan)
I watched her hit the water, I watched her swim away. Karma! I sigh and sit on the grass. Though, I can’t blame Karma for my actions. I can blame me, though. I am. The drunk laughed and wobbled off. I walk to her window and hear the song of what she was exactly feeling. It was ‘Goodbye’ by New years day. I think that she hopes I hear it. She comes to the window and spots me. I see her lips move into a word. I can even almost hear her voice, even if it was a whisper. “Mistake” I wince.
“This is me saying goodbye, But not for just tonight, This is the final exit I should of made a long time ago” The speaker in her room slows to a soft part of the song, these lyrics making sense. She waves and shuts the curtain. I smile, just a little. I needed to find the lyrics and chords to a ‘Hello’ song… I run off and get started.
(Rosabelle)
I sit on my bed, crying like the rain clouds. This was so stupid. Why did I even do that? That was so stupid. The kiss, and this! I fall asleep shortly after crying myself to sleep.

I walk towards the river, hoping Ryan isn’t there. I sit and pull out my book. The sun is really hot. Then I hear a guitar. Great. I recognize the tune. I try not to smile. It was the tune to, “Hello Goodbye” by the Beatles,
“You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello

I say high, you say low
You say why, and I say I don't know
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello

Why, why, why, why, why, why
Do you say good bye
Goodbye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello
Hello

Hela, heba helloa
Hela, heba helloa”
*BEatles???*

I turn as he sings, the verse. I smile. When the song is over I shake my head. “Ryan..” I say. He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Rosabelle, I didn’t want her to kiss me, for Christsakes!” I smile again. “I didn’t mean to kiss you either, Ryan…” I say. His eyes show sadness and anger. “N-No That’s not what I meant, Rose.” He stutters. I shrug. “I have a boyfriend, and his names chase.” I say. “Rose…” He says, getting up and grabbing my hands. “I want you.” He whispers. I look down. “I want you too.” I say. He goes to kiss me. I look away. He grabs my chin and kisses me.


It wasn't a forced kiss. Not from his perspective, or mine. I kiss back, with need. more than need, but is there such a word for that? The air gets cold. "Ryan?" I pull away. He isn't looking so well... His eyes widen. He throws te guitar and runs. I go to follow, but when I do, hes gone before I can call his name. What did I do? It starts to rain so I take his guitar with me as I run to my house.


(Ryan)
Oh, no, oh, no... What is this? What am I? "Dead...dead...dead...dead" A moaning voice answers. I wasnt..i could of sworn... the voice turns into a whispering voice now. "DeadDeadDEADDEADDEADDEADDEADDEAD!!!!" They yell. Then arms grip me to the dark ground. I scream for Rose. "Rose!" I'm in the tunnel. I am. YEah....I'm okay... but the arms are still grabing at me. I scream over and over.


(Rose)
He was in trouble. At first, I thought it was my stereo, one of the screamo bands, it did sound like that, but it wasn't. It was Ryan. I run through the trees and follow the screaming. I run into the tunnel, and see it is Ryan. Gray. He is gray. His eyes are blood shot, and he looks like a scary ghost from a movie. He grunts and screams. it sounds like the exorsist. "Eh. Eh!" He grunts, and then he looks at me. He looks normal for a second. "Rosie..." HE murmurs to me, a hand out stretched. Like a little kid. "Oh, god, Ryan. what did you do?" I run up to him and he continues to shake. "They....uh.." He grunts and goes into a seizure. Then he turns back into whatever he was. HE takes and bites me on the arm. I scream. He scratches me.

(Ryan)
I hear her screams. Something is causing it. I run through the fog and meet a door. I open it and there is a hallway. I run to the door I think the screams are coming from. I open it, and I'm there. I start shaking, shes bleeding. Where am I going? She disappears.

(Rose)
He disappears. His soul is gone. his body is disfigured. I scream, and when no one comes I try to drag him. I can't. I turn and run to my house. I yell at my parnents and lead them to the tunnel. I'm sobbing, but when I get there, I go into hysterics. Hes gone. The bodies gone. I look at my scratches. Pain still lingers. I fall. I'm so confused. I hear a thud and darkness. I'm in a hallway. Ryan is running. "Ryan!" I scream. He turns. "Rose...Oh rose!" He runs and hugs me. "Where are we?" I ask. "In the dream world, or where ever you go to dream, or maybe, have nightmares." He says. I shake my head. "What happened?" I ask. He gulps. "Lets not discuss that yet." HE says. Uh-oh. I hear, THUMP THUMP THUMP My heart beat goes faster. Uh-oh. I hear a weird scream, and then RYan pushes me somewhere.

I hear my parnets scream. "Rose!" They scream over. I open my eyes. I scream again. But I scream in pain. "RYAN!"


I wake up, wondering whats happening.

My room looks the same, the sun still is shining the same way, so was that all a dream? Did I not go see Ryan? I sit up and I feel dizzy. Whoah.I get up and look out the window, to see my mom give my dad a kiss before he leaves for work. He hugs her, and she looks sad.
They both sigh and look up at my window, looking at me, worried expressions on their face.

Ryan.

I needed to see him, feel him.I pass my mirror on my wway out and stop. I see a few scratches on my head, bandaids, and my clothes are dirty and ripped.

"What happened?"

I ask the reflection, but she doesn't seem to know. I tenderly touch my swollen head.

I slowly walk down stairs to my mom in the kitchen. She looks startled. "What happened?" I ask her. She bites her lip, probably thinking if she should tell me. She frowns. BAd sign.
"Are you in witchcraft honey?" She asks, and I laugh.
"Ofcourse not!" I answer.
"WEll, from last nigh tI think you were."
Last night? The party? Was I do weird things in my sleep?
"The cave, remember?" SHe says, seeing my confused face. I gulp.
Oh. IT wasn't a dream. So Ryan disappeared, into nothingless? I heard his screams and got up?
I stand there, perfectly still, hoping she would laugh, and say just kidding. But she doesn't. I look over and see all my Cds and ipods on the table.
"Why are my things..." I mumble off. Her eyebrows crease. "See, your music has a big influence on you..." She aviods my gaxe my looking down. I clench my fists together. "Yes, itdoes. But why are they on the counter and not in my room?" I wonder, fear and worry rising.
"Well, your father nd I have decided to remove this bad influence until you can-"
"No....nononononoono..." I whisper under my breath.
"Mom, its all I have! My music is...everything." I mutter in disbelief. "You can't do this." I tell her, but she just turns, grabs my things and walks off, shaking her head.
I take a deep breath and walk out the door.

Ryan

Everything is true. Ryan isn't normal. He DISAPPEARED for godsakes!
I lose my breath and fall to my knees in front of the river. "Ryan?" I weakly croak.
"Ryan?!?" I scream, wondering if maybe I was crazy.


(Ryan)
I feel as if my lungs are filled with tar, If choked on smoke or fire. I feel so heavy and dizzy, and all I can see is black. Where am I? Where is Rose? What is this? I feel so scared, uspset. "Ryan!" I hear, and all my worries of nothing being real dimolish. "Rose!" I scream.

Impressum

Texte: It isn't finished, not edited correctly, but it will be. enjoy for the most part.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 30.11.2010

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Widmung:
To My grandmother, Rose. RIP