The Middle Ages

Avelina

I took a deep breath and made my way up toward the lookout point. It was surrounded by forest, and my dress dragged in the dirt, but I kept going forward. There was someone I needed to speak with. I hoped he would still be there; deep down, I knew he still was. My premonitions had never been wrong before.

Sure enough, he sat at the end of the ledge, bare feet swinging back and forth. His pants were torn just below his knees, and the sleeves of a once-elegant shirt of forest green were ripped away. I saw his skin was weather-beaten, tanned, so unlike his heritage. Parnell's red-brown hair shone in waves on his head. It fell to the middle of his neck.

"I knew I would find you here," I commented, crossing my arms over my stomach.

His legs stopped kicking and his arms tensed. "Of course you did."

"It is good to see you again."

He let out a humph

, and nodded his head.

"Eli-" I began.

"Don't 'Eli…' me," he growled.

"Then what shall I call you?"

"Nothing."

"Eli, I am your friend. Am I not allowed to speak with you?"

"I would prefer it if you did not."

I sighed and walked over to sit next to him. He stiffened, and shifted away from me. I sighed again. "Your family misses you."

"I am quite sure nobody else does."

"I do."

He rolled his eyes. "You miss everyone," he snorted, pulling one knee up to lean on. "I have lost track of the years. How long have I been away?"

"Four years. You are seventeen, I believe." I glanced at the foot that tapped on the ground. The bottom was calloused and covered in dirt. "Do you wish for me to get you shoes?"

"No. My shoes grew small years ago. I would not want to grow out of another pair, especially ones with care and thought put into them," he remarked dryly, glancing at me. "But I thank you for offering. How is your brother, Gavin? Has he fathered yet?"

"Twice over," I nodded. "Two daughters who have all wrapped around their whims."

"Except for you."

"Except for me."

"What about you?" he raised an eyebrow. "Have you wed since I have been gone? You are five years my senior, and if I am seventeen-"

"No, Eli," I smiled softly. "I have not wed yet."

"You will die an old maid," he chuckled, shaking his head. "I would never have thought you

of all people would never marry."

I shrugged my shoulders. "No one has quite tickled my fancy just yet."

"You will die an old maid," he repeated. He sighed and leaned back in the grass, putting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes.

I bit my lip. Pipha, the very first beholder of my Magic, had said I probably would not die; in fact, she said, none of the magic possessors would die of old age. She said she had lived to be a hundred and three, a fact that amazed me.

"Why are you here, anyway?" I asked Eli. "You hate it here."

Eli took a deep breath through his nose. He seemed ashamed of what he was about to say. "I wanted to see my home again. Forty-eight moons… I do miss humans. I do miss my family." He frowned and stared up at the sky, stained pink with the nearly-setting sun. "Although I do not think they miss me."

"Of course they do, you are being preposterous!" I exclaimed, turning to face him. "Matthias has not been quite the same since you left, your mother is grieved, your father…"

"My father?" Eli whispered. "What about

my father?"

"Your father thinks he has failed you," I murmured. "He loves you, Eli."

"No. He doesn't."

"How could you say such a thing?" The boy was infuriating. "Everyone misses you desperately!"

"Morgaine?" he countered, sitting up. His blue-green eyes were stormy with emotion, a bitterness and misery that stung at my mind. "Aven? Marellus? They could not be more content with the fact that I am gone."

"Eli-"

"Lying does not become you," he growled. "I know what they think of me. They think I am a freak of nature, a monster."

"But Eli-"

"Do not make false claims!" he cried. "That is exactly what I am!"

"No," I frowned. "That is what you have become

."

He set his jaw and fixed me with a stare so like his father's that appeared whenever his son's name was brought up unfavorably. Eli's skin was more tanned, and his nose was his mother's, but those were the only differences.

"Eli," I sighed. "I never wanted to agree with that."

"But you do."

"I do not. I simply think that you are being a fool."

"I

am a fool?" he laughed blackly. "I

am a fool."

"You are a fool to think that your parents would not care about you. I remember you told me a bear clawed you, but a bitch healed your wounds, am I correct? While she was nursing her own young?"

"Narida has since left her pups on their own," he answered stiffly. "They had grown out of the realm of needing her."

"But I am sure in the wild-"

"Parents abandon their young all the time." He would not meet my eye. "They leave them to grow up on their own, to fight their way into the world. And if they fail, so they fail."

"Don't tell me you honestly and truly wish to live like that," I said softly.

"No sane man wishes to live like that," he whispered, holding his knees close to his chest. He looked years younger; a small boy, alone in the wood, as I had seen nearly eleven years ago. "But when one is forced into the position…"

"You didn't have to leave," I pointed out. "Your mother and father-"

"Were getting the stares that I received." His chin dropped onto his arms. "My own brother would not spend time with me."

"Oh, Eli," I sighed.

"They are afraid of me," he sniffed. "I am a beast."

I could think of nothing else to say. Eli was still human, mostly. He still had the same feelings we had. And those feelings could still be hurt. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close.

"I lied," he whispered. "I did not return to see my home. I returned to see the sunset from here. I have no wish to revisit that manor ever again." His eyes were trained on the horizon where the sun dipped down into the valley. The sky was pink and fluffy, tinged with a bright orange. Eli's muscles slightly relaxed as he took in the view.

I looked into his mind and saw that it was crying.

I breathed out and ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him. There there,

I thought soothingly. Everything is going to be alright, Eli. Just wait and you will see.

He sniffled and shivered. "Always very creepy when you do that," he muttered.

"Sh," I murmured, playing with his hair. He leaned his head on my shoulder and nuzzled against me; it was subconscious on his part, I realized, and I smiled.

He cares for you,

an amused voice whispered. I recognized it as my father, Gawain's, who had died eighteen years before. He cares for you deeply.

He does not.

"Avelina?" Eli asked suddenly. "Why are you so… so different from the rest? Why do you care so much about me? Why do you not hate me like they do?"

"I could never hate you, ever," I assured him. "And why do I care about you? I watched you grow up. And I see into your mind. I see the resentment, the bitterness, the…" I picked up another tumultuous emotion, "…the loneliness."

Eli snuggled against my shoulder, his mind longing, yearning, for human contact, human care, human love. I could provide that, for the time being, until he ran away again.

"I was hoping you would not see the loneliness," Eli said softly.

"Even if I had not seen it, I would have guessed." A strand of wavy hair had fallen into his eyes and I brushed it aside. "It cannot be pleasant to be on your own for so long."

Eli nodded, blinking up at me. "It isn't. It truly isn't."

"Poor thing," I crooned. "Poor little Eli."

I could not tell what he was thinking exactly. It was a tempest of raw, unbridled emotion, little planning. At some points, he wanted to see his brother again, but quickly decided against it with that little bit of doubt. His joy at seeing me was tempered by an overwhelming anxiety. He shuddered in my arms.

"It's hard," he whispered close to my ear. "It's so difficult

."

"What is?"

"Living out here. Alone."

"It must be," I murmured.

"You have no idea in the slightest," he swallowed. Memories poured through his head; sleepless nights, running for his life, nearly going hungry, not speaking his native tongue for months at a time. "It is positively awful."

"It must have its good qualities, no?"

"The occasional sun ray comes around," he shrugged. "But other than that… The only positive side is that it makes me stronger." Tears welled up in his eyes, and he swore in his mind. I held him close, shushing him.

"You mustn't dwell on the negative," I hummed. "And you mustn't feel terribly alone. You are loved, I promise you."

Eli looked at me curiously, his eyes shining with a curious gleam. I could not follow his racing thoughts, though they were all about me in one way or another. My head spun as I struggled to make sense of his.

Suddenly, he adjusted his position in my arms and pressed his lips against mine. My mind reeled, in a state of shock. Eli! it gasped. But I could not draw back. I found my eyelids falling closed, my face leaning forward. He shifted to face me better and his strong arms rested on the ground on either side of my waist. My fingers grew tangled in his hair.

He loves you,

my father smiled in my head.

I did not answer him. I tuned him out.

Suddenly, Eli shuddered, and he pulled away from me, sliding out of my arms and scrambling backward. A look of shock illuminated his features, and he covered his mouth with both of his hands. "Oh, God," he mumbled, eyes wide. "Oh, God, A-Avelina… Avelina, I am so so sorry!" He started to ramble a million words a second. "I didn't know what I was thinking, I don't even know why I did that," he shivered, closing his eyes tightly. "Oh, God, I am going to hell

!"

"Stop that!" I couldn't help but laugh a little. I slid over to him, not caring about my dress, and tugged at his wrists so that his palms rested on his knees. "Look at me, Eli. Please?"

"I am going to hell," he whispered, shaking his head. "You aren't married, you… you… I shouldn't have… I don't know why… I am so so sor-"

"Eli

." I smoothed his hair out of his face and kissed his lips lightly. I had no idea what I was doing or what I was thinking, only that Eli… Sweet, misunderstood Eli… Eli cared about me. I saw it in his mind.

I love you,

he thought miserably. I love you. Why do I love you, I haven't seen you in years!

I was about to ask you the same thing,

my mind whispered, and he jolted, much to my amusement.

He kissed me a little harder, possibly more desperately, and I found myself kissing him back and holding his head closer to mine.

Eli, why? Why do you love me?

I… I don't know.

His head was agonized. M-maybe because you were the only one beside my parents that was decent to me after I came home. You would actually talk to me, you seemed like you cared. And you… well… obviously you are very… a-attractive, but t-that was not a factor before…

My heart pounded against my ribs and I held him closer to me. Eli…

He ran his fingers through my hair, loosening it from its ties. His hand tickled the nape of my neck and he pulled me tighter to him.

Eli, I love you too,

I thought, and, deep down, I knew it was true. I didn't know why. Maybe I knew he had a good heart? Maybe my mind wanted something out of the ordinary? Whatever it was, I was grateful.

We held each other, kissing softly, until the stars began to twinkle in the night sky, and the moon was past its full height in its arc.

The Middle Ages

Eli

It was the longest I had ever stayed in one place. Every night for many months (I cannot even estimate how long exactly), I would wait on that cliff's edge until about dusk. She would come and tap me on the shoulder, smiling at me while her light blue eyes shined. More beautiful than the sunset, I would think. More beautiful than the moon.

And she cared.

Avelina saw me as a person. Not a beast, not an animal, not an unnatural freak. She cared about me

.

"Hello," she whispered and sat down on the edge with me. She put her slender hand on my chest. "How is my heart? Are you taking care of it?" she teased.

I put my hand over hers and held it tightly. She rested her head on my shoulder and kissed the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

God, I loved her.

I rested my lips on the top of her head, and she turned to look up at me. Our gazes met for a second before our lips did. She flung her arms around my neck, and my arms wound around her waist.

"E-Eli," she whispered, running her hands through my mop of hair.

"I love you," I mumbled, and leaned forward. Avelina shifted so that we were completely on solid ground and a bit away from the precipice. She moved one hand and guided one of my arms to her hips; I was sure I was blushing.

"I love you too," she whispered perfectly; then I realized she had not said anything. Her Clairvoyant mind was doing the talking. She took my head in her hands and pulled me close to her, forcing me to follow when she leaned backwards until her back was brushing the grass. And there I was, supporting her up off of the ground, sitting on one side of her.

She laughed at me and tugged me closer to her chest. I lost my grip and she was lying in the grass, kissing me deeply. Me, of all people. I could not read minds, so I had no idea as to what exactly she wanted from me, but I did not care at all.

I had not recalled ever being that happy in my life.

Avelina laughed and drew my head to hers with one arm, the other pulled my abdomen closer, so my chest was parallel with hers.

"A-Avelina…" My heart raced, but I had to pull away from her lips. "Avelina…"

"Calm down, love," she said softly, tracing the muscles on my arm with one finger. "We won't do anything awful. It is merely kissing." She pecked my lips. "Is that terribly wrong, Eli?"

"I-" I swallowed, and kissed her lips lightly. She smiled and pulled gently on my hair.

It's alright,

her mind whispered to me. Maybe eventually we can do something else.

But not now, naturally.

Stop thinking,

she thought. Stop thinking and just hold me, please.

How could I do anything but oblige?

The moon was high in the sky when we realized we had fallen asleep, entwined in each others' arms. Avelina smiled at me and brushed some hair out of my face. I touched my nose to hers.

"Eli," she murmured, stroking my cheek. "I have to go back."

"Stay," I pleaded, still in a lovestruck daze.

"I wish I could," she sighed. "I wish I could sleep under a tree with you, run with you forever, but my mother… my brother… everyone…"

My jaw tensed and my vision cleared. Of course.

How could I forget; when it came down to it, she really was one of them. They, who feared everything different from them.

They could not see that they were freaks of nature themselves. And they had the gall to despise and scorn me.

"Eli," she said softly. "They will

come around. You must give it time. Give it-"

"A century? Two?" I laughed without humor and untangled myself from her adoring hold. I stood up and brushed off my weather-worn breeches. "Go back. They'll be missing you."

Avelina frowned and stood up, coming closer to me. "You must know," she whispered in my ear. "I defy 'them' every night because I love you and I disagree with them."

"I know," I admitted, and I did. "I'm just…"

"Bitter. And not a soul could blame you." She kissed my nose. "Tomorrow night? Will you still be here?" She hesitated, blushing madly. "And maybe… maybe we could do something else too?"

My heart skipped a beat. "O-Of course, I will be here. You are the only reason I stay."

"I love you," she whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"I have to go," she pouted. "But only because the sooner I leave…" Her fingers danced over my chest. "The sooner I can come back to you."

"I'll be here. Waiting."

I watched her walk away. She looked back over her shoulder a few times, smiling at me and waving a little bit. Her brown hair bounced on her shoulders and her blue eyes gleamed in the moonlight.

Even after she was gone, I kept staring.

* * *

The sun was past its noon high when I woke underneath a tree. I didn't know how I got there. My stomach growled, so I yawned, stretched, and got up. I shifted into a wildcat and took down a rabbit and a few mice. It would suffice.

I wandered around the forest aimlessly for hours, climbing trees, stretching, practicing my flying. Avelina invaded all of my thoughts. I could not shake her. And I didn't want to.

The sun began to set. Anticipation boiled in my blood and I made my way to the cliffside where we met every night. I sat down as the sky grew pink and swung my legs back and forth.

I waited.

Waited.

Waited.

And I frowned. She was never late. Had someone held her up? Seen her? I shook my head. No, no, she was probably on her way.

I swallowed, breathing in and out impatiently.

The sun was halfway below the horizon when I heard the scream.

Her

scream.

I leaped up and stood on flat ground.

Eli!

her mind shrieked. Eli, help me!

I saw a fleeting glance of a hulking shadow, shining claws, terror washing over me.

"Avelina!" I cried, barreling into the trees. "Avelina!" I took a deep breath and ran forward, but my gangly human legs slowed me down. I cursed them when I realized I could rid myself of them easily; and I could track Avelina's scent. Without a second thought, I shifted into a wolf and loped through the forest, following the screams of the girl I loved.

The Middle Ages

Avelina

Terror wracked my body as I backed against a tree. The bear was huge, cumbersome, menacing, with claws ready to kill. He reared his bulky head and swung at me again. I could not do anything but let out another scream.

Eli!

my mind sobbed. I wished he was there. He would protect me, I knew.

I tripped on a root and toppled to the floor. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I tried to scramble backward, but the bear came after me. He growled and raised a paw to strike-

A caterwauling howl echoed in the trees. A giant brown wolf rammed into the bear with its head, snapping at it with teeth bright as stars. I curled into a ball while the bear was distracted.

One of them is going to eat me!

I thought miserably and began praying to God.

The wolf snarled and bared his teeth, blade-sharp. He seemed to puff out threateningly, and growled something to the bear. The bear lunged, and the wolf sidestepped easily. He shook his pelt and leaped onto the bear, biting it and clawing at its fur. Its wavy brown fur caught the light of the setting sun, shining through the trees.

The shade of brown… it was familiar. Could it be? I shook my head and waited to die. No, it couldn’t be.

Eli, please hear me. I love you, but I am afraid… I am afraid I won’t make it out of here.

Don’t say that,

he thought. His mind sounded strained and close by. You seem to think I’m going to lose.

I blinked. Lose?

I stood on my feet and looked back to the brawl. The wolf had begun to fight harder. It chomped down hard on the bear’s neck. The bear roared and shook it off, lumbering off into the trees. The wolf had hit the trunk of a tree and now rose from the ground with tiny whimpers of pain. He staggered toward me, swaying on his paws. He drew closer and closer, stumbling a few times.

“E-Eli…?” I whispered. It couldn’t be him…

The wolf panted and wobbled. He looked up at me with exhausted eyes… blue-green eyes… Eli’s

eyes.

“Eli!” I breathed, kneeling next to him and taking his shaggy head in my arms. “Oh, Eli! I am so glad you’re alright!”

He set his paws on my knees and licked my cheek and the rest of my face. He whined and nuzzled my neck with his muzzle.

“You saved my life,” I whispered, burying my face in his fur.

“Avelina!” someone shouted. “Avelina! I’ll save you! Stand back!”

Eli sprang away from me, and I saw Abrahil, one of Marellus’ knights, standing further away, on higher ground. He nocked an arrow in his bow and loosed it. It whistled through the air toward us, and I flinched away…

But Eli yelped loudly as the point of the arrow buried itself in his shoulder. He howled pitifully and curled into a ball.

Abrahil leaped forward over the bushes and brambles, pulling back another arrow.

“Abrahil!” I cried, pushing Eli behind me. “Abrahil, stop!”

“It was attacking you!” the shadow dweller protested, and did not retract his arrow.

“Don’t hurt him!” I turned around, making sure my body was between his and Eli’s. “Eli,” I crooned, holding the arrow. “Eli, I’m not going to hurt you. I need to get this arrow out.”

Eli whimpered and shrank away from me.

Taking a deep breath, I yanked the arrow out of his flesh. He roared in pain and began to lick his shoulder.

“Stop that now,” I said, pushing his head away and tearing a bit of the bottom of my dress. “You’ll aggravate it. Here, shift back, and I will wrap it.”

He shook his head and tried to lick his wound again.

“Eli

,” I muttered sternly. “Shift back to the boy I love. Please.”

Eli frowned, or, at least, I thought he was frowning. My thought was confirmed when the fur retracted on his skin and he shifted back into my tanned, beautiful, wavy-haired love.

I heard a loud gasp and glanced up. Abrahil held his bow tightly, and the string was stretched, but the arrow was pointed at the ground in shock. “W-Who… How…”

“Thank you, dear,” I smiled, and ran my fingers through Eli’s hair comfortingly. “Are you alright? Let me help you.” I touched the scrap of fabric I’d torn off to his wound.

He flinched and hissed out through his teeth. I thought he would yelp again, but he was in too much pain. His mind was in shock. “I-I’ve had worse,” he finally stammered weakly.

“Is that Eli?” Abrahil spoke in his normal whisper of a voice.

“No, it is the Pope,” I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Eli. Help me carry him.” I wound my arm behind his back and tried to stand up. He tried to protest and shrink back, but I shushed him.

“Are you mad?” Abrahil frowned, and stepped back a little.

“Eli just saved my life,” I said tersely. “He is wounded; more so, thanks to you. I want Aven to treat him. Now help me help him.”

“But I-”

“He is Parnell’s son,” I coaxed him. “And Parnell would never forgive you for letting him die.”

Abrahil’s lip curled, and he groaned. “Give him to me. I’ll carry him.” He slung Eli over his back and toted him through the bracken. I stayed at his heels, holding Eli’s hand.

He looked at me with unfocused eyes.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

“It was nothing,” he mumbled before his mind fell silent and he lost consciousness.

* * *

Abrahil and I walked in silence back to the manor. It had grown dark, so I stuck close, touching Abrahil’s shoulder so he could lead me forward.

“Why were you out here, anyway?” he asked softly.

My stomach turned over. “Just taking a walk,” I shrugged nonchalantly. “I wanted to see if I could speak with my father.”

“You could have asked me for help,” Abrahil met my eye. “I can converse with the dead.”

“It would not be the same.”

“I understand.” And he was silent as his usual shadowy self.

“What were you

doing out here?” I asked. “Avoiding my mother again?”

“No. I was practicing my hunting. I can see in the dark; it may prove useful.”

“You can see in the dark?”

“Yes.”

We approached the outer border of the manor and kept our pace. Abrahil slowed, however, as we drew closer to Marellus’ castle, where all his lords and ladies dwelled with him. A few of his sons were play-fighting in the surrounding grasses by torchlight.

“Come, we must find Aven,” I insisted, moving forward. Abrahil stopped.

“I apologize,” he whispered, shaking his light brown hair. “This is as far as I can take him.” He laid Eli in the grass under a tree. His mouth was slightly agape, and he appeared to be sleeping.

“What do you mean?” I glared at him, crouching down next to Eli. “You have to take him inside.”

“No. I am sorry. If anyone-”

“What is it

doing here?” someone snarled. I looked up from Eli’s peaceful face to see Morgaine, holding a torch. She stood across the dirt path, skirts held up on her ankles. Her eyes blazed as she saw Eli lying in the grass.

“He

saved my life.” I held my chin high and set my jaw. “I want Aven to heal him.”

“Have you gone mad?” she gasped, not daring to come closer. Pebbles shuddered around her feet and sprang away from her; her unpredictable Elemental Magic at work, no doubt. “That… That thing

doesn’t deserve to be living!”

“Eli saved my life

,” I accented. “He will not perish because of me.”

“I would let him,” Morgaine shrugged. “Leave him be, Avelina.”

“No. Aven will heal him. Abrahil, please go get her.”

“Stay right there, Abrahil,” Morgaine snapped at him, and he froze in place, looking uncomfortable.

“Abrahil,” I frowned at him.

“I…” he stammered.

“A-Avelina?” someone murmured. Eli had stirred where he lay by my knees.

“Both of you, please, leave us,” I ordered.

“You leave that freak

right there,” Morgaine spat.

“He is Parnell’s son,” I held my head high, crossing my arms. “I would like for you to get him and tell him that you let his son die.”

Morgaine’s eyes narrowed and she glared at us. The fire on her torch blazed brighter in anger, but she said no more.

“That is much better. Abrahil,” I blinked sweetly at him. “Would you take Lady Morgaine and fetch Aven for me please?”

Abrahil sighed and nodded, taking Morgaine by the wrist and leading her away. She cast dirty looks at us over her shoulder, but then she was gone.

Eli smiled faintly at me. “Thank you,” he mumbled. “I didn’t think anyone had the gall to stand up to her. She is just… just…”

“She is a real witch,” I agreed. “And I

have the gall. I only use it for you.” I brushed his hair out of his face gently.

He chuckled softly and put his hand over mine. “Have I told you that I love you?”

“It would do you no harm to tell me again,” I giggled, nuzzling my nose to his.

He leaned up and kissed my lips lightly, and I closed my eyes and returned his gentle affection.

Heat of a torchlight fell on our faces. “Avelina!”

We sprang apart, and Eli’s eyes darted around, as he could barely turn his head.

My mother, Edana, terror evident on her face, stood a short distance off. Her cobalt blue eyes blazed with anger and her fingers clutched at her light brown dress that blended with her dark brown hair. “Get away from him right now!” she cried again, storming towards us. She grabbed for my wrist, but I pulled it away.

“Mother, stop!” I shouted, bending over Eli.

I knew it. I knew this was all too wonderful to last.

Eli’s mind was bitter and miserable.

Don’t say that! It will last, let me just try to get them to understand! They’ll come around!

Eli shook his head slowly. They will never understand.

“You have no business with that… that thing

!” she snarled. “You are to come with me! How dare

you,” she glowered at us. “How dare

you kiss her, beast

!”

“Mother!” I cried, holding him.

“You are mad

!” Edana let out a hmph, and her eyes narrowed to slits. She grabbed my wrist and held it tightly. She pulled me away from Eli, and he slumped to the floor. “Eli!” I called, and reached for him.

Avelina, I love you.

“You,” she glared at me. “How dare you run around with something like that!”

“Someone

like him

,” I corrected, setting my jaw. “He is just as much of a man as any other!”

Her eyes widened as she looked me up and down. Her expression hardened as she took in my rumpled dress, torn both by my hand and the root I’d tripped on. “You have been corrupted,” she hissed. “You have gone mad; you have been corrupted by that… that monster

! You have brought disgrace to your family! You are impure in the eyes of God!”

“I have no such impurity!” I shouted.

“And your poor father is rolling over in his grave!”

Actually, I think that shapeshifting is very fascinating,

my father frowned. I shooed him from my mind.

She directed her rage on Eli, who was staring at us with wide eyes. “Monster! You have disgraced and defiled my daughter!” she screeched.

“But I-” He propped himself up on his elbow and tried to rise from the ground, but Edana slapped him hard across the face. I let out a small scream of my own when he reeled, and collapsed back down to the earth, covering his cheek with his hand.

“You do not deserve her pity! You do not deserve-”

“Edana? Avelina? What is going on here?” Lord Marellus stood at my mother’s shoulder, face illuminated by a small fire. Abrahil, Morgaine, Aven, and Cedron stayed a few yards back, observing the scene.

“That abomination

!” Edana shouted, pointing a finger at Eli, who flinched.

Marellus frowned, looking at the young shapeshifter. “Is that Eli?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “I had thought you vowed never to return again.”

“Obviously, my plans have since changed,” Eli muttered caustically.

“How long have you been at the manor?”

“Before today, I have not set foot on your manor in four years.”

Marellus pursed his lips. “How long have you been outside

the manor? In this vicinity, I mean.”

Eli hesitated. “A few moons,” he said slowly.

“Why did you stay so long?” Marellus asked softly. “I was under the impression that you hated it here.”

“I do.” He dared not glance at me. “Sometimes there are things that make you stay.”

I glanced around. Morgaine was enraged. Cedron was confused. Aven frowned disapprovingly, and Abrahil looked uncomfortable, as though he wanted to melt into the shadows again.

Edana let out a wordless scream of aggravation and tensed beside me. “That thing has shamed my family! It has defiled my only daughter! Have him hanged!”

“I have defiled nothing!

” Eli’s expression was unreadable, save the fact that his eyes gleamed and his mind was being torn apart.

“He saved my life, mother!” I cried. “A bear was attacking me and he-”

“Enough,” Marellus put a hand up and looked back to Eli. “Have you had relations, romantic relations, that is, with Avelina?”

Lie,

I thought desperately. They won’t hurt you if you do! And you have always been good at lying. I will say I kissed y-

“Yes,” he said without hesitation. He held his chin high. “I have. But we have not consummated anything yet.” His blue-green eyes raked my mother and he tensed his jaw. “We kissed. We kissed and talked. That is all

. We enjoy each others’ company; is that a sin? Is it sinful if we have not completely acted on our emotions?”

We were going to,

I thought sadly. My heart fell, but I said nothing.

“You son of a bitch!” Edana screeched, and began to stomp toward him. Marellus held her back by the arm.

Eli’s mind was falling into disrepair. His defiance and confidence was being shattered every second. He knew that we would be torn apart, and it was killing him inside.

“Eli,” I murmured aloud, moving toward him as quickly as I could to put myself between him and my mother. I fell to my knees next to him and stroked the side of his face. “I love you.”

My mother whirled me around to face her. Her eyes glinted with malice. My skin stung as her hand flew across my cheek, and I winced.

Eli bared his teeth at my mother and reached for me, but she slapped him away.

“Mother, stop!” I cried. She glared at me, but directed her anger at Eli again.

“Bastard! How dare

you seduce her!” she growled, crouching down to our level and pulling me back from him. “How dare

you manipulate her like that, you demonic Satan-spawn!”

“I did not

seduce her,” he said coldly. “She starts the kissing half the time. So perhaps your rage is misplaced. Without me,” he spat, eyes narrowing. “Your daughter would probably be dead. So you should thank

me for kissing her.” It was a front, I knew. He needed to argue something positive. I did not blame him at all for using the ‘I saved her life’ excuse.

“Insolent fool!” Edana shrieked, and yanked on my wrist to bring me to my feet. She dragged me toward Marellus’ castle, away from my Eli, my hero, my heart.

“Eli!” I reached for him, but Edana pulled my arm sharply, and I fell silent for the time being. I glanced at Marellus. “He is hurt because of me. I beseech you,” I begged, “have him healed!”

Marellus knit his brow, but nodded, sensing my despair. “As you wish,” he nodded, and looked to Aven. “Heal him.”

Aven looked astounded. “But-”

“You heard me.”

She sighed, and knelt next to Eli, murmuring something under her breath as her hands began to glow with Defensive Magic.

“Eli? Is that you?” Parnell had joined the crowd. They parted to let him near his son. “Eli! What are you doing here?” He crouched next to him and brushed his hair out of his eyes the way only a father could.

“Hello, father,” Eli whispered.

“What happened?” Parnell looked around at all of us. His worry for his son was amplified by the harsh, prejudiced stares directed at the shapeshifter.

“What was once your son,” Edana spat. “Has been having trysts with my daughter! And as for you

,” she hissed at me, shaking my arm. “You are going to be in your chambers until you have gotten over yourself. And it is high time you were wed; I have been tolerant with you and allowed you to be my baby for far too long. You cannot keep these fantasies and delusions in your mind. I will find suitable gentlemen and you will wed one of them.”

“Mother!” I cried, but she would hear none of it.

Eli,

I thought miserably. Eli, please, come when you are healed. I need you. I have a window that is always open; please come to me, hold me. I will be locked in.

Avelina-

Please.

He was silent for a while. I will come as soon as I am able to fly.

We left Eli in misery and Parnell in confusion. Edana dragged me through the halls in silence. She essentially threw me into my chambers, lit a few candles, and glanced at me. “This is for your own good, Avelina,” she murmured. “I will not have my daughter spawn beasts like that one.” She slammed the door. I heard the bar fall in front of it, and I was trapped.

Tears began to stream down my cheeks, and I flung myself onto my bed and wept for the love I knew I had lost.

The Middle Ages

“Avelina?” a soft voice whispered.

I picked my head up and saw a boy by the window.

“Eli!” I breathed, and leaped up to greet him. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed. “Oh, Eli, I am so sorry!”

“Sh,” he murmured, holding me close. His mind was numb. “It isn’t your fault.”

“It is!” I cried. We stayed in silence for the longest time. “I love you,” I finally sniffled.

“I love you too,” he sighed. “But it’s killing us both.”

I shook my head quickly, and kissed his lips, softly at first, but then a little harder as I held him closer.

Eli kissed me back, as usual, but this time there was a desperateness that killed me inside. His kisses, normally soft and gentle, were now laden with a hopeless passion that threatened to consume us both. There were tears on his cheeks.

“A-Avelina,” he mumbled. “We can’t do this anym-”

I silenced him, sliding my hands under the back of his torn shirt. I traced his back, and slowly stepped backwards, pulling him with me. The backs of my legs brushed up against my bed, and I could feel myself blush.

One of his eyes opened, and looked past me. He pulled away from my face, sadness shining in his reddening features. Obviously he guessed my intent. “Avelina, we cannot-”

“Hush,” I whispered and kissed his lips, not allowing him to speak anymore, not allowing him to break away from me, not allowing him to say it was wrong. My hands pulled his head closer to mine, and I wrapped one of my legs around his hips.

I decided to look into his mind. He was trying to fight me. He knew it was all wrong, what he knew I wanted. He would not admit to himself that he wanted it too. He did not want my mother or Morgaine to have more reason to hate him. We cannot, Avelina,

he protested, as though he knew I was listening.

Why not? I love you.

I… for one thing, we are not wed.

That can be easily remedied,

my mind shrugged.

No.

Then why are you kissing me back?

Would you rather I didn’t?

I said nothing, only bit his lip and tugged on him, trying to knock him off-balance, make him fall on top of me.

“Stop,” he groaned, attempting to push me away. “You told me to hold you.”

“I want you to,” I murmured. “I want you to hold me forever.”

“I cannot.” He shook his head.

“You can,” I begged. “You can take me away from here. I can live with you. You can teach me to fight, and I will ease your loneliness. You need me, and I need you

.”

Eli toyed with the idea for literally a moment before he shook his head. “Marellus would have me hunted down,” he murmured. “I will be hunted no matter which form I take.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks, and I tugged on his shirt, pulling him close to me. I kissed him frantically, pulling him forward and successfully unbalancing him at last.

His mind froze, and reeled as it lost its stability, and I took that instant of confusion to pull him closer and kiss his neck. He gasped, and moved so his hands were on either side of me. He tried to get up, but I drew him in closer by the waist so his chest pressed down against mine. His hips remained on my left side, but he would not allow me to move them with the leg I had around him. I settled for tightening my grip on him and kissing from his neck down to his shoulder.

“Avelina, s-stop,” Eli protested, although every romantic sector of his head screamed at him that he was crazy. His mind was turning on itself and it made him weep.

“Eli, please,” I whispered, leaning up on one elbow and running my other hand through his hair. “Please. Please just kiss me. She intends to marry me off; she says is through babying me and wants me to wed-”

“I know,” he interrupted.

“-but I do not want to wed anyone but you,” I sobbed, burying my face in his neck to hide my tears.

His mind wailed in misery. I want to marry you too!

he wept. But we can’t! We can’t!

“We can

,” I hiccupped. “We can run away, go to a different manor, where they do not know us-”

“No,” he shook his head.

“Eli!” I pressed my lips to his, and he clutched at my back.

Eventually, we stopped kissing, and he rolled off and lay next to me on my bed. His sullen head rested on my shoulder, his arm limp across my waist, and I trembled as I traced his chest with my hand.

“I love you so much,” he murmured dismally. “I am sorry.”

“I love you too,” I sniffed, and attempted, halfheartedly, to pull at his shirt again.

He looked at me, sorrow brimming in his beautiful eyes. And I knew it was over. Everything we had had, gone in a flash.

“This is all-”

“It isn’t your fault,” he sighed. “Had Abrahil not been in the forest, everything would have been fine.”

“You would still be injured.”

“But I would have healed eventually.” His eyes fell. “I knew from the start we had to be cautious. That it was too beautiful to last long. But I allowed myself to grow content, soft. I apologize.”

“Don’t.”

He blinked and sighed. “The real reason I came up here… aside from the fact that you asked me to…” He would not meet my gaze. “I came to say farewell.”

“Y-You… You’re leaving?” I sniffed, sitting up to look at him.

He sat up as well, staring at his hands, and nodded. “Yes. And this time, I will not come back. Not even for that sunset.”

“No… You… You can’t…” I swallowed.

He refused to look at me. “Your mother is right,” he forced out, and I knew just uttering the words was a stab in his gentle heart. “It is high time you were married off.”

“But Eli-”

Eli’s breaths shuddered. “You should wed,” he choked. “You should wed, so that you have descendants. If, God forbid, you were to perish and leave no line…”

“Eli-”

“I… I intend on doing the same.” He flinched as though my mother had slapped him again. “What we have… what we have is wonderful. It is the happiest I have been, and I doubt I shall ever be this happy again.”

“Then why ruin it?” I sniveled.

“I do not wish to ruin it.” Eli rested his forehead on mine and closed his eyes. “That is the last thing I wish to do.

“But someday… Someday they will

understand. Someday, they will have a common enemy to despise, worse than me. And if they see me, they may compare us both and decide to hate the worse threat.” He smiled softly. “When that day comes, I will run, as fast as my legs or wings can carry me, back to you.”

“B-But-”

“Until that day…” he breathed in shakily, and his smile faded. “We must part ways. We must move forward, become spouses, parents, ancestors. We must live on.”

“Eli,” I moaned, holding him close. “I still love you.”

“And I you. I vow I will never stop.” Eli kissed my lips once, tenderly, and opened his eyes. He detached himself from my embrace. He rose from my bed. He moved toward the window. He looked back at me.

“If you still want me then,” he nodded. “I will return to you in a heartbeat.”

“I will always want you,” I whimpered. I got to my feet and stepped toward him. “Eli, please, just for one more night-”

“I am sorry. I love you, Avelina. Do not ever forget.” He looked away. Feathers grew on his skin, and his form shrank down until a tiny owl hopped around on my windowsill. It glanced back one last time, and disappeared into the night.

“I love you too, Eli,” I whined, and slid to the floor. “I will never, never

forget.”

1850

Eli

It was hot.

That was all I could fathom as I traipsed through the forest. It was familiar, yet monotonous. You’ve seen one forest, and you’ve seen them all.

I questioned myself again; why, in the middle of July, was I taking a hike to Crévoux, France? I couldn’t say the reason.

I had assured myself it would be cooler in the mountains, but I hadn’t taken the proximity to the equator into account. It was cooler up north, but Southern France was brutal. Wait until you get to the mountains, Eli,

I told myself. It will be worth it.

The train had taken me to Digne. From there, I walked. And ran. And when I tired of running a horse’s pace, I walked again.

The forest was nice, I supposed. Unchanged from my last visit. Since I had left-- I didn’t even know how long ago it had been-- I had been all over the world. I had met so many people, so many wizards

. Our lines had spread. I had met hundreds of thousands, not even exaggerating, who shared qualities of the lords and ladies I had known in the Middle Ages. In the Americas, Asia, Africa even. I had met shapeshifters and General wizards and Illusion artists, everyone was represented.

Even the psychics, however sparsely.

Studies had been done by the underground magical society; why was Clairvoyant Magic so rare? Was it because Avelina (I would flinch when I heard her name) waited so long to have children? Not many thought so. Most thought it was because of Gawain’s murder at the hands of Cedron and his Dark Magic; the Clairvoyant Magic in Gawain was still settling into the young man’s body, and when it was ripped from its first living host in centuries, it caused irreparable damage to the Magic. When it passed into a four-year-old Avelina through his arms, it was shattered and in desperate need of stability. It found balance in her, but many of her children kept the magical life span and held no Clairvoyant Magic. They found it would pass over some of her children (Avelina had had many over her life thus far) yet root in others, skip generations, be prevalent in some, weak in others.

Clairvoyant Magic was very fickle.

Other studies had been done about the Magics; why, with two magical parents of different types, could a child either display traits of one or the other, or even both at times? Some children had an affinity with one, but displayed traits or behavioral habits of the others. It confounded all, and made my head spin.

Thus, I avoided all of the studies thereafter.

I shook my head and emerged from the trees. Crévoux was a tiny town, a commune, of perhaps fifty or so people. It was nestled in a valley in the ‘French Alps,’ as people had named them. They were ‘the mountains’ when I was growing up. I didn’t care about the names.

I looked down on the valley, mapping out the old manor in my mind. It was so long ago. I hadn’t come back, as I had promised. I’ve never broken a promise I’d made her. And I could finally keep this one.

Because now there was a new enemy for the magical realm to hate; a descendant of Cedron who went by the name of ‘Lord’ Aleron. He had brutally murdered thousands of wizards in the late seventeen-hundreds, tens of thousands from eighteen-twenty to eighteen-twenty-five. He amassed many followers, mainly Dark wizards who had been misunderstood. Persecuted. Just as I had. Naturally, some shapeshifters joined his cause as well; therefore, I could take no sides. I cared for all of my descendants, no matter what side they chose. I could only hope they’d have the sense to pick the right

side.

The harsh discrimination had been going down for my kind; gradually, achingly slowly, but it was receding. Some of the right people, I presume, had begun to accept shapeshifters in the world. Not necessarily like them so much, but accept them as a part of life.

I could deal with that. As long as there was no blatant persecution to my children, I could deal with the inaccurate judgements about my kind. There were judgements about every type; the General wizards were stuck up, the Illusion artists were compulsive liars, the Defensive practitioners and psychics were weak because they wouldn’t fight as much. I was glad the shapeshifter hatred was falling only to stereotyping.

It meant I could go home.

Of course, I was a fool to think she would still be there after all this time, but it was a good place to start.

Wagons moved up and down the streets of Crévoux. The main square was where the manor house once stood. I skirted along the edges, just watching the people and horses going by. I was expecting to see the stares of those unfamiliar with a newcomer, but I didn’t expect anyone to recognize me.

“Eli?” someone gasped incredulously. “Eli! Is that you?”

The voice… A man’s. It was soft, shy, as though it was barely used. I remembered one person who had a voice like that.

“Abrahil?” I ventured, without turning my head.

He laughed. “Most people call me Abraham or Abram now.” The shrug was apparent in his voice. “If my name is too hard for them, it is too hard.”

I turned to face him, and saw he had barely changed. A bit of age in his face, but other than that, everything was the same. His smile was small, nervous. “A nice bunch of descendants you have,” I commented.

“Oh? You’ve met some of them?” He blushed.

“Yes. The Specters are shy, quiet, antisocial,” I counted off the traits. “Just like you.”

“Just like me.” He laughed again, but didn’t meet my eye. I raised an eyebrow.

“It is…” he swallowed. “It is good to see you again, Eli.”

“Same here,” I shrugged. And we were silent. I shuffled my feet and looked back to the bustling square.

“Eli, I owe you an apology,” Abrahil blurted out. I looked at him, and he ducked his head.

“An apology?” I repeated. I had not been expecting an apology… from anyone.

“Yes.” He pursed his lips nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. “Look, I wasn’t the most… the most tolerant of you, way back when. I shouldn’t have judged you, and I’m sorry. Please forgive my actions?”

“Well, at least you weren’t the least

tolerant,” I shrugged. “But thank you. I do appreciate it. And I wholeheartedly forgive you.”

He sighed in relief.

I smiled. “I still have a little scar on my shoulder,” I commented. “From where you shot me? Remember?”

Abrahil’s face went crimson. “How could I forget?” he chuckled, and looked to the floor. His eyes widened. “Eli! You’re wearing shoes!”

I laughed. “Yes. I keep up with the times surprisingly well.”

“I can tell!” he grinned.

“So.” I stretched a little. “Where is… everyone?”

Abrahil blinked. “Well, surely you’ve heard? For some of them at least?”

“Not really.”

“Well, Marellus died in the Crusades,” Abrahil sighed. “And Cedron perished due to the Plague. Aven was killed over seventy years ago, she tried to protect someone where she shouldn’t have gotten involved.” He shook his head sadly.

I blinked. “And my father? My brother?”

Abrahil nodded and grinned. “They’re still around. I think Matthias lives in Paris; I visited him once or twice. Parnell moved to London. Edana, thank God

,” he laughed, “has moved somewhere in Germany; I don’t know where. We are separated by mountains

! And you’ll be happy to know Morgaine is nowhere near here, I don’t know where exactly. She wanted to see the nature of the world.”

I nodded, words forming on my tongue. I couldn’t say them. Not yet. The moment was here, but I couldn’t say anything about Avelina. “That is

a relief.”

He smiled. “So how are you getting by? I have a small shop that suits me, over on the corner, myself.”

I shrugged. “I do the occasional odd job,” I said. “Hunting for food myself helps enormously. I have a few places I stay, and my sons and daughters are constantly inviting me and providing for me.” I laughed a little. “I didn’t expect anyone would ever

do something like that for me.”

“They’re your descendants,” Abrahil shrugged. “They love you.”

“Yes. I guess they do.”

“So what kind of girls did you end up marrying?” Abrahil yawned, leaning against a wall.

“Eh,” I swallowed, unsure of how to answer Abrahil, the noble knight, who had remained celibate until marriage. “I never truly

got married, really.”

Abrahil’s eyes widened as he looked at me. “What

?” he asked incredulously.

I tugged at the collar of my shirt. “Meaning, I had a few affairs, naturally. Helped a king who needed to father a line but was, ah, unable

. And a few of us technically wed, but they never quite worked out in the end. I fathered their children, that was all.”

“I don’t believe you,” Abrahil shook his head.

“What do you expect?” I shrugged. “I didn’t wholeheartedly love any of them. Sure, I loved them, they were lovely women, all of them, but I never loved

them.”

“But they were your wives-”

“Mates

,” I corrected. “I only plan on having one real wife in my life.”

“All that time you insisted on not being considered an animal,” Abrahil snorted. “And you use a term like ‘mate.’ So who is this dream wife of yours?”

“You know.”

“After all these years?”

I nodded.

Abrahil blinked, and nodded slowly. “Ah. I can’t say I’m surprised. Loyal to a fault, like a dog.”

“You never told me where she is,” I murmured.

“I thought you knew?”

“I haven’t spoken to her in centuries.”

“You really haven’t heard at all,” he breathed incredulously, “have you?”

“Abrahil,” I whispered. “Where is Avelina?”

“Um…”

“Abrahil

,” I repeated more forcefully. “You told me where everyone else was, even if you didn’t know.”

“But you-”

“Where is Avelina?” I demanded, looking him straight in the eye.

“I don’t know!” He shrank a little and looked away from me. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know

,” I spat. “You couldn’t have just said that-”

“Ever since she was taken-”

His interruption shut me up for a good half minute. “Taken

?” I hissed, bristling. “What are you talking about?”

Abrahil ducked his head. “Well… She… She lived around here, you know. Traveled around, but always came back here after a certain amount of time. Anyway, a few years ago, maybe about eighteen-thirty, she went out for a walk. And she never came back. Wasn’t married at the time, so we, that is, I and a few of her children, went to look for her. We found some signs of a struggle, so we felt she must have been snuck up on, but… but she was gone.” His breathing shuddered, and he couldn’t meet my eye. “We tried tracking her, her children tried to reach out mentally…”

He finally looked up at me, a sense of failure shining in his eyes and weariness lining his features. “Eli, I’m so, so sorry.”

I leaned against the wall of the building we stood in front of and wrapped my arms around my stomach. I felt like I was going to be sick. Scratch that- I was

going to be sick.

“Eli…”

I shook my head desperately and slid down to the ground. I put my head between my knees and tried to calm my distressed stomach. Avelina! I cried in my head. Avelina! I should have come sooner!

Once I felt I could open my mouth without vomiting, I asked Abrahil who took her.

He shook his head. “We don’t know.”

I swallowed and nodded, but something was nagging me. “I have a different problem with this whole thing.”

“What is it?”

I shook my head. “H-how do you possibly

sneak up on a Clairvoyant?”

Abrahil shrugged. “I’ve heard it’s possible. If they’re distracted.”

“Av-” I broke off. I couldn’t say her name aloud again. “She never gets distracted.”

He rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know,” he said slowly. “Do you know where we found the signs of struggle?”

“No. But you’re going to tell me anyway.”

“We found them in the woods. Near a cliff.”

I froze.

“When Avelina would be around here, she’d go there all the time. Said that, from that spot, you could see the most beautiful sunset in the world.”

I died inside.

“Something tells me,” Abrahil murmured. “She was thinking about something other than a sunset, hm?”

Oh God. It’s all my fault. She was thinking about me. It’s my fault she was distracted. It’s my fault she’s missing, or worse…

I couldn’t bear to think about what was worse.

Abrahil crouched next to me and wiped my eyes with a handkerchief. “Eli, stop that,” he soothed, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. “She’ll turn up.” He hesitated, as though he wasn’t sure if his next words would help or harm. “She still loves you, you know. She always did.”

It helped, but not much. “T-thanks. You probably made a great father,” I hiccupped, shrugging him off. I shook my head and rose from the ground. “I have to find her.”

“Eli, no one’s seen her in years,” he sighed. “She’ll turn up eventually. I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. I wouldn’t-”

“I have to find her,” I repeated.

“Abrahil!” someone cried. A young man, very young, maybe even a teenager, ran forward, clutching his head. “Abrahil, help me!” His amber eyes were anguished, and he fell to his knees in front of us.

“One of her descendants,” Abrahil whispered to me. “Very

gifted.”

“Abrahil, I keep hearing it!” the boy wept. “I keep hearing the screaming!”

“What screaming?” I asked, trying not to cry again. He looked like her. The shape of his eyes, the shade of his hair, the general brightness in his face. His hair was a little too wavy, but, otherwise, it was the same.

He looked at me and shook his head. “I don’t know! A powerful Clairvoyant, I guess! I tried tuning it out, and it normally works, but then I tripped. I lost focus, and I can’t block it out again!”

“Just relax,” Abrahil advised him, ruffling his hair comfortingly. “Relax, and it’ll fade out. Alright?”

The boy hiccupped and nodded, breathing in and out. He still looked distressed.

Abrahil crouched next to him and patted his shoulder, helping him to breathe. The boy gulped down a little laugh and looked up at him. “W-when have you been so t-touchy-feely?”

The shadow knight sighed and shook his head. “I’m not. But when one of you little rascals needs help, I’m here.”

I saw a bit of resemblance in their faces; they had the same nose, the same strong chin. Something kind of clicked in my head, and I raised an eyebrow at Abrahil in confusion. If he had-

Abrahil followed my thought process with one glance at the boy, and he laughed softly. “No,” he assured me. “I didn’t dare. And she wouldn’t even want to. One of her descendants, though, took a liking to me, and somewhere down the line, someone gave us little Louis here.”

“Huh?” Louis cocked his head, which apparently began to swim, as he began to hold it again. He groaned and tears began to roll down his face. “I don’t know why it’s so loud today,” he sniffled. “Even on other days, it’s not nearly this loud

! I wish I knew who it was,” he frowned somewhat wistfully. “She sounds miserable.”

“She?” I pursed my lips. Could it be…?

Louis nodded. “I’m pretty sure it’s a girl.” He looked me over. “Wait, who are you? I don’t recognize you.”

“My name is Eli,” I whispered, still somewhat numb from learning about Avelina.

Louis’ eyes widened. “Eli

?” he gasped. “You’re…” He looked to Abrahil. “He’s…?”

Abrahil nodded. “Yes.”

Louis looked at me with an awe that made me uncomfortable. “My older sister loves

the stories about you,” he sighed. “Avelina wouldn’t share any of the memories, but some of the girls begged her enough, so they all got together and had some kind of girly party storytime thing, and they came home swooning.” He made a disgusted face.

Abrahil covered his mouth to keep from laughing. I was sure my face was crimson. Avelina told stories about me?

The sad part was that I could see Avelina making the exact same face as Louis; she hated when people made a big deal of romance and love as well. Love was love, a sacred art and feeling, not a sideshow attraction for everyone else to swoon over. Just you two.

“I never met Avelina,” Louis shrugged. “But my sister loved her. She looked all over for her. And she was upset, and she kept saying, ‘what if he comes back and she’s not here?’ and all the girls were upset because you two are their favorite love story or something.”

Pressure built up behind my eyes. My heart was racing, my breathing uneven.

Abrahil frowned, and put a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “You should run along home,” he suggested. “I have to talk to Eli, alright?”

Louis nodded and got to his feet. “My head’s feeling better now,” he commented. “Thanks! Bye!” He ran off.

I fell heavily against the building. “F-for a descendant of yours

,” I breathed, “he sure talks a lot.”

Abrahil laughed. “He’s a good boy,” he grinned after the teenager, but looked back at me in pity. “I’m sorry you had to hear that. Avelina was really uncomfortable telling them, but they insisted on hearing about her love life. She complained and regretted it aloud to me for months afterward.”

“Girls will be girls,” I sniffed, and shook my head. “I’m going to find her.”

Abrahil sighed. “I won’t be able to stop you, will I?”

“No.”

“Good luck, Eli.”

* * *

It grew darker and darker, and the redness was fading from the sky. I sat on the old cliff, taking my shoes off for old times’ sake. I recalled her smiling face, her laughter, her opinions on life and others. Everything was crisp and clear, perfectly preserved. It stung my mind.

I shook my head, and recalled a different instance, further north, a few years after the incident had occurred. It was one of the last times I’d spoken of Avelina aloud. Nearly a thousand years, and I’d barely spoken of her.

The young man was alone. Sitting in the tall grasses, fiddling with a stalk or two.

“Papa,” my five-year-old Annaleigh whispered to me excitedly. “Papa, I bet’cha I can get him. Please, Papa? You haven’t let me get any traveler in months! I can make him piss himself, I know I can!”

I rolled my eyes. “No breaking skin this time,” I warned her. “I had a lot of explaining to do to the wife of the bleeding merchant. You can scare this one, nothing else, understand?”

“Yes, Papa,” she nodded, shifting immediately into a tiny little wolf. I couldn’t help but smile at her enthusiasm, even if it was misplaced. She’d learn how to behave in time.

Breathing for a second, Annaleigh propelled herself forward with a howl, leaping onto the young man. He let out a scream, and flailed around, trying to avoid my daughter’s flying paws. His wavy, red-brown hair fell in shambles around his face, his pale skin growing paler by the second.

“Mon dieu!” he shrieked, scrambling away.

I gasped when I got a glimpse of his face. Without hesitation, I shifted into my own wolf-form and lunged forward, taking Annaleigh by the scruff of the neck.

“Papa!” she barked, squirming in my jaws. “Papa, let go!”

“Stop that,” I growled, and set her down a little ways off. “Go chase a rabbit, sweetheart. I need to talk to this one.”

“Papa-”

“Go.”

She pouted and turned on her paws, pointedly smacking me in the face with her tail.

I shook my head and turned back to the young man. He was backed up against a tree, terrified. “Y-You’re going to eat me now, aren’t you?” he stammered. “I must say, I probably taste horrible. And my children taste worse, so you wouldn’t want them either-”

“No,” I shook my head, shifting back into a human. “No, I’m not going to eat you.”

The young man screamed, and collapsed to the ground before he recognized me. “Eli?” he gasped. “Brother, is that you?”

I smiled at my twin. “Hello, Matthias. It is good to see you again.” From an outsider’s standpoint, one would not even think we were brothers, and especially not identical twins. But when we were younger, everyone always had difficulty telling us apart. Then I got lost. My skin tanned and my hair grew wild over six years, while my brother’s similar hair was quite tamed. Our eyes and our features were the same. That would never change.

Matthias rose from the ground and embraced me tightly. “I heard what happened,” he murmured. “But when I tried to find you, you had left.”

“I had to,” I sighed.

“Father was distraught. Again.” He shook his head. “You must stop doing that to him, hm? The next time you see him, you must stay for longer than a few days or months.”

“I’m sorry,” I shrugged. “I couldn’t stay.”

“What, exactly, happened?” Matthias was bewildered. “I heard something to do with you and Avelina, but-”

“I love her,” I said simply. “I love her, and people hated me more because she loved me back.”

“Oh, Eli,” my brother sighed, and hesitated. “Then you won’t want any updates from home, I take it.”

“Tell me.”

“But-”

“I can take it,” I assured him. “It’s been seven years.”

He frowned. “She has since wed,” he eased out. “And they have two children. A son and a daughter.”

“I am happy for her,” I nodded.

“No you aren’t.” Matthias pursed his lips. “I know you. I know your facial expressions, and I know when you fake things.”

“I

am happy for Avelina,” I protested, and looked away. “I told her she should wed after I was gone.”

“You regret it.”

“Somewhat.” I shrugged. “But I have done the same, to an extent.” I looked back into the woods. “Annaleigh,” I called. “Annaleigh, you can stop hiding. Come out here.”

My little daughter slid out from behind a tree, ducking her head shyly. Matthias gasped. “She looks like you,” he murmured.

I had to smile. “Annaleigh, apologize to your uncle, please.”

“I’m

sorry,” she huffed, kicking at the dirt.

“Why are you sorry?” I prodded.

Annaleigh shot me a glare full of daggers. “I’m sorry for attacking you, and trying to make you piss yourself,” she sighed.

“So you were that little wolf?” Matthias laughed. “All is forgiven, little one.”

“I’m not little!” she snarled, and I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. “Mama says I’m gonna be as tall as Papa!”

“Probably not,” I chuckled, ruffling her hair and tickling her. “You’ll always be my little girl.”

“I’m telling Mama!” she screeched. “I’m telling Mama you said she was wrong!” She dashed off into the woods. I was sure her mother, Léa, would laugh as well. We had a good relationship, I supposed. But I thought of Avelina from time to time, and I felt awful about that. I was once coerced into telling Léa about Avelina. She was surprisingly understanding, and had only hugged me and told me, ‘I hope you can find a place in your heart for me, and for your daughter.’ I told her of course I could, and it was true. I did love Léa. But… I didn’t know.

I wanted to get over Avelina.

I wanted to just be able to pretend it never happened. I wanted to learn to love someone else, like Léa, the same way I’d loved her. But I always realized… if I learned to love another that way… she would always be mortal. She would die eventually. I couldn’t put myself through that kind of loss.

“Eli?” Matthias stood at my shoulder, shaking me from my unfocused daze. “Eli, are you alright?”

“Hm? Yes,” I assured him.

“No.”

“Perhaps not.”

“If it makes you feel better,” my twin shrugged. “She doesn’t seem to be terribly enamored with her husband. She loves her children, naturally, but she doesn’t dote on her husband like Aven dotes on hers, or like Marellus’ wife dotes on him. Or-”

“Or how Mother loves Father?” I suggested.

He smiled. “Yes. Oh! By the way! They have since had two more children, each with Illusion. Mother was pregnant when you stopped back last time.” He looked at me. “She was upset that you didn’t visit her.”

I sighed. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t go back.”

“But you could make love to Avelina every night?”

“I never made love to her,” I bristled.

Matthias laughed. “Your face is red,” he sniggered. “I believe you, trust me. But you could have at least let Mother know that you were alright at some point.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

He hugged me suddenly. “I miss you terribly, brother,” he whispered.

I held him tightly. “I miss you too,” I said, and I did. “I miss you all.”

“Morgaine and Edana the least, if at all.”

“Yes.”

“And Avelina the most, I’m sure.”

“No.”

“No?”

“In truth, I miss

you the most, Matt.”

I leaned back in the grass, blinking hard. It killed me that I hadn’t seen my brother in so long. I missed him so much. He was my equal, and always understood my feelings, even if the logistics didn’t make sense.

If he were there, what would he say? What would he do if he was in my position? I heard his voice in my head.

You’ve always got to go with your gut

, it echoed. No matter where it’ll lead you.

I would listen, I decided.

I fell asleep near that cliffside, drowning in memories of my youth.

1897

Avelina

“…It’s a-alright. I-I’m not going to h-hurt you.”

It was the little voice that woke me up. It threatened no pain, no wounds, no nothing. It was a baby’s voice; maybe not an actual infant, but a little one.

My eyes adjusted badly to the darkness, I was no Abrahil or any other Specter, but I saw a faint light outside the bars of my cell. The outline of a little boy was sitting, cross-legged, in front of the bars. His hands were over his ears. Why?

“H-Hello?” my voice came in a croak.

He dropped his hands from his ears and wrapped his arms around his knees. “Thank you for stopping,” he mumbled.

“Stopping? Stopping what?” Just the effort of speaking drained me.

“Screaming. You were screaming. Loud.”

Screaming?

“W-what year is it?” I breathed.

He paused. “I… I don’t know. Last I knew, it was eighteen-ninety-six. But I don’t know.”

Eighteen-ninety-six?

I froze. The last year I remembered… It was eighteen-forty-seven, then Aleron had thrown me in that cell. He’d kept me well prior to that.

“H-Hello?” the boy whispered, tapping on the bars. “A-are you alive?”

“Yes, little one,” I whispered. “How old are you?”

“I don’t know. When I was outside last, I was eight.” He sniffled

“Why are you here? Where is your mother?”

“Dead,” he said simply.

“Poor one.”

“What’s your name?” he asked, rubbing his eye with his fist.

I hesitated. Names had changed over the centuries. Morgaine had been renamed Morgan, Matthias was Matthieu, and Edana was Evelyn, of all things. I had been known as a few things myself, Lina, or Avery, to name two.

“I was known as Annie,” I murmured. “And you are?”

“I dunno.”

“You must have a name.”

“Mama called me Max. Short for Maxwell.”

“Well, Max,” I smiled softly. “It is a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you as well.” He was polite. Adorable. I looked into his mind, and saw a tumult of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me. The poor child had had an awful past. I decided to ignore his mind, just talk to him for a while. He needed a friend, a confidante. I wouldn’t burden him by showing him what could have been. It was an ability I’d developed; seeing consequences of present and past actions, alternate timelines. It was fascinating. That was why Aleron took me; I had an ability that he wanted to understand, that I would not explain.

We talked for a while, before someone barged in and grabbed him by the wrist. The little one began to cry hopelessly as he was pulled away; obviously his captor had threatened him or harmed him in some way.

I drifted into fitful sleep again. Apparently, I screamed in my sleep, but could not lose the hopeless dreams that plagued me constantly. Threats made the dreams worse, Aleron hitting me and keeping me here… I couldn’t bear it. My mind was shattering beyond repair.

In the dreams, I was reaching for something… something or someone? I did not know. But it slipped out of my grasp time and time again.

And I would hear myself shout something, a word that I knew had some meaning, but what that meaning was I could not place.

Eli

.

Sometime in the 2000's

Eli

“Ow!” I hissed as Lee Haller wrapped a bandage around my arm. “Easy, sport! Not so tight!”

Lee pursed his lips. “Sorry, gramps,” he shrugged. “I have to keep the pressure on it.” He was silent for a little bit. “You know, you didn’t have to join this war. It was our fight, not yours.”

I rolled my shoulders. “Nah, I had to. Especially after what you said they did to your son. I liked that kid.”

Lee tensed, and his brown eyes were cast to the floor.

“I’m sorry I brought that up,” I mumbled. His son was a touchy subject; it had been for the past seven years.

“It’s alright,” he murmured and backed up a little. “You’re all patched up.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. “Thank you, kiddo.”

“Uh-huh. I’m going to… I’m going to go check on Alyssa.” He bit his lip and got up.

“I’m sorry, Lee.” I covered my mouth with my hand. “I didn’t mean to… I didn’t…”

“I know.” He flashed a small, faked smile. “It’s my issue, not yours.”

“But I shouldn’t have-”

“Gramps,” Lee chuckled. “Just relax. It’s going to be fine. I just want to check on my wife and daughter. I’ll see you later.” And he was gone.

I slouched on the sofa and put my head in my hands. “I’m sorry, Lee,” I mumbled to myself.

There was a pounding on the front door. “Mister Haller! Mister Ravendale! Someone, open up!”

I sighed and got up, opening the door a crack. “Hello?”

A young man with dark hair and glasses stood on the top of the stairs. He stepped back, and I saw a bloody umbrella in his hand. His other arm was wrapped around something, I couldn’t tell what. “Who’re you?” he demanded. He seemed exhausted.

“My name’s Eli,” I blinked tiredly. “And you are?”

“Mitchell Lewis,” he gulped. “I’m one of Theo’s friends. And I’ve got a DTM here that needs serious medical attention.”

“DTM?”

“Driven To Madness, haven’t you heard the term?” Mitchell snapped. “Open this goddamn door!”

I was taken aback, but only slightly. People had gotten gradually more rude over time. I had gotten used to the inevitable fact. I opened the door, and froze.

Mitchell was supporting a girl, thin and pale. Her hair was stark white, and her hands trembled. Her eyes were squeezed shut, and her teeth were clenched, as though even the smallest amount of light caused her agony.

Her face… Her face…

I would know that face anywhere.

My hands began to shake uncontrollably.

“Hey!” Mitchell snarled. “Don’t just stand there, help me!

”

I shook my head to clear it and helped them inside. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her face, her beautiful, pale face. All that time I’d been searching…

“W-where was she?” I whispered.

Mitchell sighed as we laid her on the couch. “Dark cell down in the Blacksoul cavern.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She screams all the time, so she was isolated from everyone else. Made it easy to find her. She said her name was Annie.”

“No,” I murmured, brushing her uncharacteristically white hair out of her eyes. “Not Annie.

“Avelina.”

Mitchell raised an eyebrow at me. “You know her?”

“Yes,” I said. Knowing her isn’t even the half of it,

I thought.

“Well, then I’ll leave her in your capable hands,” he nodded. “I’ve got to go.” And he left.

I crouched on the carpet next to the sofa. After all those years… “Avelina,” I whispered softly. “Avelina?”

She gasped and trembled. “W-Who are you?” she croaked. “H-How do you know my r-real name?”

“Avelina, it’s me,” I crooned, tucking her hair behind her ears. “It’s Eli.”

She flinched away from my hand, eyes still squinted shut. “E-Ee-lye,” she sounded out, and pursed her lips, as though my name was foreign. My heart shattered.

“Yes,” I murmured. “Eli. You remember. You promised you’d always love me?”

“I…” she swallowed. “I-I… d-don’t know…”

I got up from her side and pulled my fingers through my hair somewhat desperately. She didn’t remember me.

But why was she in so much pain? She was free… Then something occurred to me. …Dark cell in the Blacksoul cavern…

How could I have not thought that through? I guessed that I had been so happy to see her, that I didn’t take her pallor and delicacy into account. I shut the lights, and returned to the floor next to the sofa.

Avelina sighed, and her eyes relaxed. She began to murmur under her breath, and I had to crane my ears to hear her.

“Papa,” she was saying. “I can hear you again. I… I can hear everyone.”

Everyone except me.

I averted my eyes. It’s alright,

I told myself. It’ll be alright.

I curled up next to the couch and tried to sleep. Maybe when I woke up, this would all be a dream. Or… Or maybe a nightmare.

I didn’t know why I stayed there. I didn’t know why I stuck around. Or maybe I did know, and just couldn’t bear to admit it.

It was a while before I woke up. Avelina was still asleep on the couch, and Lee was shaking my shoulder. “Gramps,” he whispered. “Graaaaaaamps?”

The dumb kid and his nickname for me.

“I’m up, I’m up,” I groaned, stretching.

He looked at Avelina. “Who’s that?” he asked. “I saw Mitch leaving from the window upstairs- he bring her?”

“Do you mean the dark-haired boy? Yes. He brought her.”

“But who is she?”

“Just someone,” I shrugged.

Lee raised an eyebrow at me. “Quit it, Eli,” he snorted. “If she was ‘just someone,’ you wouldn’t be sleeping next to her like a Rottweiler, now would you?”

I breathed out through my nose. “Stop, Lee.”

“Who is she? An old girlfriend or something?”

I said nothing.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Lee crossed his arms, a ghost of his old ten-year-old pout flickering onto his lips. “She got a name?”

“Of course she does.”

“You going to tell me?” He sighed when I said nothing. “I’m not going to stop pestering you until you tell me, Gramps. So I’d spill now before I tackle you.”

I knew he was serious.

“Avelina,” I conceded.

“The

Avelina?” Lee’s eyebrows shot to his forehead. “No way,” he breathed, and took a closer look at her. “No way

! How the hell-”

“I don’t know,” I whispered.

“Does she still-”

“She doesn’t remember me, Lee.” I looked away from him.

“Eli, I’m sorry-”

“Don’t be.”

Lee sighed. “There’s a guest room upstairs. I’m sure she wouldn’t want to wake up on a couch. You could carry her, right?”

I bit my lip. I could. But I didn’t want to. What if she woke up in my arms and panicked? I couldn’t do that to her.

“Eli?”

“Yeah. I’ll carry her.”

Sometime in the 2000's

Avelina

I was laying on something soft. Odd. Aleron was never this nice. I felt no shackles on my wrists. Another oddity.

I stretched my hands out to the sides, and found more plushness, and a pillow beneath my head. There was something on top of me- a blanket.

But the cell was still dark.

I sat up and looked around. Something moving dragged my sensitive eyes to the right. Curtains. Curtains, blowing in a breeze. A slight glimmer of light shone in through a window. A window? There was no window in my cell. I had looked. Even when I was sure there was none, I still looked.

Where was I?

My eyes adjusted gradually to the tiny light. It fell on a dresser in the corner, a closet door. A vase of flowers. No, it was no cell of Aleron’s.

My mind picked up a presence. Familiar… but I couldn’t place the name. I couldn’t place anything anymore. Voices filled my head one moment, but then were gone. I could remember nothing, yet I knew I knew everything that had happened to me. I couldn’t recall anything.

I crawled to the end of the bed and peered over the side. The silhouette of a boy was curled up on the carpeted floor. I could make out his features as my eyes registered the light. Wavy hair moved back and forth as he breathed. Strong shoulders, connected to strong arms. His rounded-yet-defined chin rested on his forearms, and his eyelashes twitched, as though his sleep was plagued by nightmares.

It was agonizingly familiar. Why could I place nothing?

Avelina

… my father’s voice echoed. I knew it was my father’s voice. That had been the only thing tethering me to life. Avelina, how could you forget him?

I… I don’t know… I don’t know who he is.

But there was one way to find out. I looked into the boy’s mind, determined to find out who he was, why he was here.

I gasped. I saw… I saw myself

. The boy was dreaming… about me

.

In his mind, I… she, smiled at him, or was it me? I felt her hand on my shoulder, her nose touching mine. I… She said, I wish I could run away with you. I wish I could come with you and I wish that I could just hold you in my arms forever.

But you can’t,

I felt myself say. Sadness sparked at my mind. Avelina, you have to stay here. You know you do.

I know,

she pouted. But I can still keep you, right?

As long as you want me.

I retracted from his mind and put a hand to my mouth. I remembered that, from my own point of view. That boy… The boy sleeping on the floor… I had held him close to me. I had wanted him. And we were torn apart… but he had promised… he had promised… He promised he’d come back to me…

And I had promised I would always love him.

I had

promised.

But why couldn’t I remember his name? It killed me that I couldn’t recall his name. Tears, pent-up for so long, began to stream down my cheeks. I felt my shoulders shake, and I let out little whines. I couldn’t hold them back. Why can’t I remember your name?

I cried, and squeezed my eyes shut. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

“Avelina?” a voice whispered instantly, and I felt someone sit in front of me, taking my hands in his. “Avelina, are you alright?”

Those hands… that voice… everything clicked. I had never been so relieved. The darkness that had swallowed me before helped me to remember.

“Oh, Eli,” I sobbed, practically throwing myself into his arms. “Eli, Eli, Eli!”

He held me close to his chest and rested his chin on my head. “You…” he began. “You remember me now?”

“I could never forget you,” I hiccupped. “Never truly.”

“I did go back,” he whispered. “I did go back home. But you were already gone. I looked for you.”

“I am so so sorry,” I murmured. “I was distracted.”

“I know.”

“Eli?” I sniffled, and looked up at him. His beautiful blue-green eyes… they were just as I remembered. They shone with tears in the darkness. “Eli, please, please, don’t cry,” I begged, and wiped his eyes with one of my pale knuckles. He kept my hand pressed to his face and held me tenderly.

“I love you,” he mumbled. “I still love you.”

“I love you too,” I sniffed, and rested my head on his shoulder. He stroked my back and closed his eyes. His mind was sobbing in relief. I missed you so much,

I thought.

I missed you too. I died every day I was away from you.

My heart stopped. In truth?

In truth.

I trembled and shifted to face him. “Are you alright?” he asked softly, eyes concerned.

“B-Better than alright,” I breathed. “I want to know…”

“Know what?”

“If I still have you memorized.” I blushed, and kissed his lips lightly. I ran my fingers through his hair, and realized… we could have easily been sitting on the familiar cliffside. It could easily have been the Middle Ages again, we could have easily been avoiding my mother’s prejudice, Morgaine’s scorn. I felt like flying once more.

He kissed me back, holding me close. Over a thousand years,

his mind laughed, and nothing has changed.

Everything has changed,

I thought. Only this hasn’t.

This hasn’t,

he agreed.

Sometime in the 2000's

Eli

It wasn’t long after that that Avelina began to sleep through the night without waking up screaming. I was always there to hold her when she broke down sobbing, and always there to make her smile. Always there to tell her it would be alright. There as her hair returned to its original brown, there when we reassured Abrahil that she was alright.

I could count the minutes on two hands or less when our hands were not entwined.

It was the happiest I’d been in years. I could finally fulfill that last promise to her; that I’d hold her forever. I’d die before I broke that vow.

“Eli,” she whispered to me one night as her head nodded onto my chest. “Thank God I have you.”

I held her and rubbed her shoulder as she drifted to sleep. “What a coincidence,” I whispered. “I thank God for having you

.”

She smiled, and looked up at me with those knowing, light blue eyes. Her arm tightened around my waist in one pulse before she let out a soft yawn and snuggled against me in sleep.

And I knew, as I fell asleep myself, that all those years had paid off. That good things did come to those who waited.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 25.09.2012

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