Beth

My name is Elizabeth Cooper. I am 16 and live in Leeds, England. Tonight is my last night here. Tomorrow my grandma is sending me to America to live with the mother who abandoned me when I was 3. I’m sat in a small café near the end of my street. It’s the end of July but raining outside - typical for England. My friends are with me begging me not to leave.

‘I have no choice I have to go’ I say willing them to understand.

‘Your 16 you can do what you want’ says Miranda who has been my best friend since we were 5.

‘I failed school, I have no qualifications and no chance of getting in to college after the things I did’

‘Go back to school then’ says Amy who even though I have only known her for a couple of years looks the most upset.

‘Would you go back to high school and repeat your last 2 years?’ silence. ‘I didn’t think so. Look this way I get to go to school with people my own age and I get a fresh start where nobody knows me or what I did. I have thought about this over and over and this is my best option. I wouldn’t leave you guys if I didn’t have to’

‘This is really what you want?’ asks Miranda

‘Yeah it is’ I lie.

There is silence for a few awkward minutes and then Miranda says ‘ok then. If this is what you want then I’m behind you. I’m leaving in 3 weeks to go to uni anyway and I don’t want you here by yourself. Plus American guys are hot!’

‘That settles it then’ I say with a smile. ‘I love you guys and im gonna miss you like mad but I have to do this’. My phone rings in my pocket. I take it out and it’s my grandma. ‘Hey’ I say when I answer ‘Im fine. No im not getting into trouble. I know grandma. Ill be home in half an hour. Ok bye’ I hang up and feel sad inside. My grandma has been amazing to me and I’ve let her down so many times. She is the real reason I am leaving. I need to make something of myself and make her proud and I can’t do that here. The people round here know too much about me.

‘What time do you leave?’ asks Shaun.

‘Im leaving my house about 6 in the morning. Actually I should go its getting late and I still have things to do’ I say getting up from the table. They all hug me and I leave. I walk home in a daze and don’t even realise I’m at my house. I notice someone sat on my front step and my heart skips a beat when I notice who it is. Preston had been my boyfriend for 3 years and he loved me so much. I felt horrible for not loving him back. It was hard to love after the things I had been through. We broke up last week and he wasn’t taking it well.

He stood up when I got to him.

‘Preston why are you here? You’re making it harder for yourself’

‘I had to see you’ He said. He looked so upset but been mean was better for him. Or so I told myself. I guess really it was easier for me. ‘Please don’t break up with me’

‘I’m leaving for 2 years. We can’t be together and live that far apart for that long. It would never work’

‘Beth I love you. You can’t tell me after all this time together you don’t love me too’

He needed me to tell him I did but I couldn’t. I couldn’t lie to him ‘you’re my best friend and I’m glad we were together but’

‘But’ he cut me off

‘I’m sorry’ I said and I really meant it. I did love Preston just not in the way he wanted me to.

‘You’re so heartless. Your mum fucked you up big time’ There was so much hate in voice I took a step back. ‘You think you’re the only one who’s ever lost anyone or been hurt. You’re a coward Beth. I hope one day you know how this feels’

‘I know how it feels you prick. I lost the only person I ever loved. I’m sorry I cant love you like you want me to and if been harsh helps you to feel better then have at it but don’t tell me I don’t know what loss feels like’ I was about to start crying when he kissed me. I kissed him back but as quick as it started it stopped and he was walking off.

I went in the house and my grandma had obviously been listening.

‘You ok?’ She asked

‘Spiffy’ I said walking past her and up the stairs. She followed me.

‘Have you finished packing?’

‘Almost’

She asked some more questions I wasn’t really listening to and then left. I sat looking round my room. All packed up in boxes. I loved this room. It was where me and Miranda decided to be best friends. Where me and Preston had our first kiss. Where my dad used to read to me to get me to sleep. It also had bad memories. I’m pretty sure this is where my mum told me she was leaving and it was where my Grandma told me about my dad. I was going to miss it though.

I packed up my last few bits, got a shower then got into my bed for the last time. I cried myself to sleep.

 

The next morning my Grandma woke me up with a cuppa. It was really early. We were up before the birds. I ate some toast and drank the tea then packed up the last of my things. Things I had used this morning. Toothbrush, hairbrush etc.

Most of my things were been shipped but I had 2 suitcases full of things I would need straight away. They rest would arrive in a few weeks.

We walked out the front door and my friends were waiting for me. We hugged and cried and hugged some more. I really was going to miss them especially Miranda.

‘Email me ok? Straight away’ she said her eyes full of tears

‘I will I promise’ I said back just as teary.

I got in the car and waved goodbye.

My Grandma was silent all the way to the airport and I didn’t feel much like talking either. When we got there she waited while I checked in and then we said our goodbyes.

‘I’m so sorry’ I said to her

‘Don’t be’ she said welling up ‘I love you ok’

‘I know’ I said hugging her ‘ill be back at Christmas’

You will?’ She said looking shocked

‘Of course! Nobody make Christmas dinner like you’

She smiled. We said more goodbyes and hugged some more and then I left her. I walked around waiting for my plane to be called and when it was I made my way to the gate.

I got on the plane and sat down. When the plane took off I silently started to cry. I was about to embark on a new life that I didn’t want with a mum who I didn’t want to see and it was my own entire fault.

 

Jackson

 

The last day of school. Finally! 6 weeks of freedom. The last day was always boring, Teachers telling us everything we had already learnt in 1 hour sessions. Kill me now! I only came because I needed to clean out my locker before I got a new one next year. Bye bye Sophomore year hello Junior year. We got Lockers in the other building next year. It was sad knowing that was all there was to look forward to.

At the end of the day I cleaned out my locker and went and waited in the car. Charlie, my best friend, always parked his car next to mine. I saw him walking over and waited for the abuse.

‘Hey Connolly’ He shouted as he got near. I had my window down so he rested his arms on the door. ‘Are you really gonna do it?’

‘Yes’

‘Can I watch?’

‘It’s not funny’ I was about to dump my girlfriend which was not going to go down well.

‘Rather you then me’ Charlie said with a smirk.

‘Thanks’ I said sarcastically

‘Seriously though, good luck’ I smiled at him and he got in his car and drove off.

Two minutes later I saw her coming out of the gym. She was in her cheerleading outfit which I used to really dig but now not so much. We used to have so much fun but now there was too much drama.

We had been dating for 3 years and about 6 months ago she told me she loved me. I didn’t say it back and since then things hadn’t been right. I think she has loved me for a long time but was afraid to tell me.

‘Hey babe’ she said as she got in the car. She leant over and kissed my cheek.

She babbled on about her day all the way to her house. When we got there her parents were loading up the car. She sighed

‘I’m totally getting out of this’ she said ‘I don’t even want to got to Florida. I’m gonna see if I can stay with….’

‘….we need to talk’ It was now or never. She looked up at me and smiled and then her face dropped.

‘You’re breaking up with me’

‘I’m sorry’

‘No your not’ tears filled her eyes ‘this is because I said I loved you’

‘You deserve to be with someone who will say it back’

‘Why didn’t you?’ she asked almost pleading.

The truth was the best answer ‘because I don’t’

‘Three years Jack three fucking years’ she got out the car and slammed the door. I know she has a right to be angry but I was so relieved it was over. I drove off without looking back.

 

When I got home I noticed Bitchfaces car in the driveway. She didn’t like me and I didn’t like her but she was my mum’s friend. I closed the door slowly so I could sneak in without been seen.

‘How am I going to cope with a teenage girl in my house’ I heard from the kitchen. I moved closer so I could hear more.

‘You’ll be fine’ my mum replied ‘just don’t get too worked up’

‘I left behind my life in England, and now part of that life is joining me here. What if she hates me?’

‘You will deal with it and it won’t always be awkward between you’ my mum did not sound hopeful though. I wondered casually for a minute who they were talking about and then lost interest. Bitchface was just saying she better go and pick her up as I left to go upstairs. I checked my phone and I had 12 missed calls and 17 text messages. I deleted them all and turned off my phone. I decided to play Playstation for a bit then shower and go find the guys.

Brooke

 

Wow he had really done a number on her this time. Men were jerks and he was the biggest of the bunch. Maddison was my best friend and she was just about to go to Florida for the summer and her boyfriend dumps her.

‘At least you know he wont cheat on you while you’re on vacation’ I say over the phone adding because he would have in my head.

‘I can’t believe he did this to me’ she sobs down the phone.

Two hours later she is on the plane. I tried to convince her to have a summer fling with some hot guy she meets at the beech but I know she will spend the entire summer counting down the days until she can see him again.

I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself this summer without Maddison. It’s the first time she’s gone away for the whole summer. Normally it is just 2 weeks. Then my phone rang.

‘Hello?’ I asked because I did not know the number.

‘Hello is this Brooke Steele?’ said a mans voice

‘Yes’ I said cautiously as I knew the voice from somewhere.

‘Its Mr Hardcastle’ the principle was phoning me. ‘We have a new student starting after the summer and she is from England and knows nobody so I was wondering if you would meet her and show her around town and introduce her to some people?’

‘Why me?’ I asked

‘Well Ms Steele you seem to be very popular and you know how hard it is to start at a new school when your only from the next town so can you imagine how hard it will be for this young lady?’

Guilt trip ‘fine’ I said ‘give me her details’ at least it would give me something to do over the summer. He gave me her name and address and asked me to meet her on Saturday. Today was Wednesday. I needed something to do. Shopping, that always helped.

Beth

 

I got off the plane and the first thing I noticed was how warm it was. It was horrible. I hated it here already.

I went through the arrivals gate behind a large family and then hid behind a pillar so I couldn’t be seen. I wanted to get a look at her face first. I thought maybe she would have a sign with my name on but I couldn’t see one. Then I saw her. I couldn’t miss her. I looked like her. I didn’t like that. She was beautiful. Long brown hair with a tint of red. Like mine. Slim figure and really long legs. She was wearing a suit and killer heals. I stared at her for a while and then I noticed she was nervous. She was picking at her perfectly manicured fingers. I walked over to her and my heart started to beat out of my chest.

‘Hi’ I said to her. She looked down at me then her eyes widened.

‘Elizabeth?’ She asked

‘Beth’ I corrected

‘Sorry, Beth. You’re beautiful’

‘Yeah thanks’ I said embarrassed looking at the floor.

‘Let’s get your bags’ she said.

The drive to her house - mine as well now I guess - was quiet. She tried to talk to me a few times but I didn’t really say much back.

‘How’s Hattie?’ my grandma

‘Fine’ I replied

‘And how are you?

‘Fine’ I said again

‘Elizabeth if we are going to get along I am going to need more then 1 word answers’

‘Beth’ I said. Like we could ever get along.

She didn’t try to talk to me again.

After about half hour we pulled up at a house. It was huge. I went to take my seatbelt off but she stopped me.

‘This is not our house I just need to go see someone’

‘Ok’ I said not looking at her.

She walked into the house and I sat in the car waiting. After about 20 minutes I was just about to beep the horn in frustration when the most beautiful boy I have ever seen came out of the house. He was tall, about six foot with dark blond hair that was swept off and up to one side. He only had shorts and a t-shirt on but he looked like he belonged on the catwalk. He looked at me once then carried on walking. I sat back in my chair embarrassed to have been caught looking.

Next thing there is a knock on the window that made me jump. I looked up and there he was looking in at me. When our eyes met he smiled at me. This amazing all American white teeth smile. I thought I was going to melt into the seat.

He made a gesture for me to roll down the window. I tried the button but it didn’t work because the car was turned off.

I was just about to get out the car when there was a bang and I noticed that Jessica was back in the car.

‘Seatbelt’ she said

‘What? No wait’ but she was already driving backwards down the drive.

I looked at him again before we drove off and he smiled that smile at me again and I couldn’t help but smile back. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad here after all.

‘That was rude’ I said turning Jessica

‘You don’t need to be associating yourself with him’

I laughed out loud.

‘So now you care’

‘I’ve always cared’

‘Yeah right’ I said. I changed the subject quickly. ‘Whose house was that?’

She relaxed her shoulders a bit ‘That’s Tammy’s. She was the first person I met here. She’s my best friend’

‘You probably should have told Marion seen as she still calls you her best friend’

Her shoulders stiffened again. ‘You still see Marion?’

‘Yeah all the time’

We pulled into another driveway down the street. The street that goes on forever. The house was not as big as her friend’s house but it was pretty big.

‘What did John think of her seeing you and your dad all the time?’ John was Marion’s husband.

‘Not much seen as he died when I was eight’

She spun around to look at me ‘John died?’

‘Yeah cancer. You would have known if you had bothered to keep in touch’

‘I bet Marion was heartbroken’

‘Of course she was. She spent a lot of time locked in her house. My dad was the only person she would listen to. He got her out and eventually she dealt’

‘Were her and your dad an item?’ ha she was jealous.

‘No they were not’

I got out the car and stood by the boot. After what felt like an age she got out too and opened it to get my cases out. I stood and looked at the house.

It was two storeys. It had big windows on both sides of the door. There was a big tree out front and one at the side. There was a porch which as far as I could tell went all the way round the house. There was a porch swing on the left.

Just then a man walked out of the house and I looked at her hand for the first time. She was wearing a wedding ring. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail.

‘Hi’ the man said as he got close. He was handsome. They suited each other. ‘I’m Max’ he said holding out his hand.

‘Beth’ I said shaking it.

‘Nice to meet you’ he said picking up my cases and taking them into the house.

I didn’t want to go in the house. It would be final then and this would be my home. My legs betrayed me and I followed Jessica in the house.

I went through the front door and right in front of me were the stairs. To the left of the stairs was a hallway to what I thought was a kitchen. To the left was the dining room that had a table and 8 chairs around it. To the right was the living room. It had 3 huge sofas, a coffee table and a TV. It also had bookcases and a DVD rack. She took me past the stairs to the room at the back. I was right it was the kitchen. You could also get to that room from the living room and dinning room.

Next we went up the stairs. To the left on the right was her bedroom and on the left the bathroom. To the right of the stairs on the left was my room. We walked in and everything was white. It felt like the walls should be padded. They both walked in behind me.

‘We didn’t know what colour you wanted so let me know and ill paint it for you’ Max said

‘Brown and cream I guess’ I said. They were warm comfortable colours and I didn’t think I would be that comfortable here.

‘Done’ he said and left me and Jessica alone.

‘I will go to the store and get you some curtains and bedding’

‘Thanks’ I said ‘no flowers’

She smiled ‘No flowers’ I walked around the room.

‘Do you have a laptop? If not I can get you one for school work and things’

‘I have one in here’ I said putting my carry on bag on the desk in the corner. As I did I looked out the window and noticed the swing and slide set in the garden. She had other kids. This upset me more then I liked.

‘Well I will leave you to unpack. Put whatever you want in the bathroom. These two wardrobes’ she said pointing out the wardrobes I was stood next to ‘are a good size and with the drawers over there’ she said pointing again ‘you should have enough room when all your stuff arrives’

‘Thanks’ I said.

‘Do you need anything?’

‘I’m actually really hungry’

‘Of course, come with me’

She made me some soup with bread and showed me where some of the things in the kitchen were. After she told me I could treat the house like my own I escaped back to my room. I lay on my bed and wished I was back home. I got up and opened my laptop. Max had been up and left me a note with the internet password on. I logged onto my emails and wrote Miranda.

 

Hey

 

I’m here. She is trying way too hard. Miss you guys already. Ill email again in a few days when I have something to talk about. Love ya

 

Beth xx

 

I wanted to cry so I lay on my bed and I guess I eventually fell asleep.

 

I woke up when I felt somebody sit on the bed. Looking at me with the biggest smile I have ever seen was the most beautiful little girl.

‘Hi Beth’ She said bouncing on her knees on the bed.

‘Hi’ I said sitting up.

‘I’m Paige’ she said still smiling ‘I have always wanted a sister, you are very pretty, do you want to play with me?’

‘Hi Paige. I would love to play with you but not right now. I’m really tired from the flight and I have to unpack my things but how about once im settled we spend the whole day getting to know each other? How does that sound?’

‘AMAZING’ she shouted. I couldn’t help but laugh.

‘Ok then. You, me it’s a date’ I said holding her hand ‘We will do anything you want’

‘Yay’ she sang jumping on the bed. ‘I have been so excited since mummy said you were coming’

‘When did she tell you?’ I asked curious.

‘Erm…..’ She said thinking about it ‘maybe a month ago’

My heart dropped. ‘Did you know about me before that?’

‘No’ she said straight to the point ‘Daddy was mad when he found out. They had a lot of fights about it’

I wanted to cry. She hadn’t mentioned me at all to anyone. Even though she left I still thought she must think about me, talk about me and miss me even. I guess her new life was more important.

‘Have I made you sad?’ Paige asked. She had stopped bouncing.

‘No its fine’ I said lying. I smiled at her but she didn’t look convinced ‘How old are you?’

‘I’m nearly 9. Just a few more weeks.’ Wow 4 years. That was all it took for her to replace me. Wow.

‘Actually I feel like going for a walk, do you want to come?’

‘Yeah’ she squealed jumping off the bed. She might actually make been here bearable.

While Paige was getting ready for our walk (which apparently the outfit she wore was not good enough for) I stood in the kitchen waiting. Max was in there so I decided to dig a little deeper

‘So’ I said and he turned around ‘How long have you and Jessica been married?’

‘We got married 2 years ago’ He said and he continued with what he was doing.

‘I guess my invite was lost in the mail huh?’ I said as sarcastic as I could. He stopped again and turned to look at me.

‘I’m sorry it’s gone down like this. If I had known about you I would have invited you’

‘When did you guys meet?’ He knew I was just fishing for info.

‘We met a year after she got here and moved into a small apartment the year after. 2 years later she was pregnant and we got this house. I know you’re mad at her. I am too. She never mentioned a husband or child. But she gave me Paige’ he said it with so much warmth it made me instantly like him. A lot more then I liked her.

‘Paige is great’ I said with a laugh. ‘When did she tell you about me?’

‘Right after the phone call from your grandma asking if you could come here to school. She sat me down and told me. It was a shock’

‘Her leaving us was a shock too’

Just then Paige came running in.

 

We walked around for a long time. Paige showed me some things but nothing I needed to know. Unless knowing where her best friend Keisha fell off her bike is important. Max had given us some money so we went to the cinema. We saw some Disney film that was actually alright. After we left Paige said she was hungry and she knew a diner around the corner that did the best hamburgers. So off we went.

Jackson

 

‘Hey’ Charlie shouted while he punched my arm at the same time.

‘What?’ I asked

‘Are you thinking about Maddy?’

‘God no’ I said laughing ‘I’m fine.’ I could not get that girl out of my head. She had the most amazing blue eyes. Who was she and why did bitchface interfere?

Just then the door opened and I glanced up. It was her. She was with a young girl that looked familiar. They sat at the other side of the diner. She didn’t see me but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. She was laughing with the young girl but she seemed sad. There was a lot of pain in her eyes. I was just about to walk over there when Fat Frank walked past us. I knew this was going to end badly. I hope she didn’t see what my friends were like.

‘Fat Frank’ Caleb called. Frank tried to speed up but Caleb was too fast. I used to get a kick out of bullying Frank, or anyone for that matter but it was starting to make me uncomfortable.

‘Come on Cal leave it’

‘I will leave it when Frank begs me to’ Caleb said

‘Please’ Frank said ‘Please just leave me alone’ I thought he was going to cry.

‘You see Jack; Fat Frank here thinks he is better than us’

‘No he doesn’t’ I said. ‘Come on just leave it’

Just then Frank tried to run off. Caleb grabbed him and pushed him into the table. He back handed Frank so hard the noise of it echoed. He raised his hand to hit him again. Just as I was about to stop him Caleb went flying backwards, lost his footing and landed on the floor with a thud. He jumped up to see who had attacked him and then we all stood there shocked. It was her. She had pushed him.

She took Frank by the arm and started to lead him to her table. Caleb went to grab her.

‘Whoa’ I said standing in front of him.

She spun round ‘Are you going to hit me now too you coward?’ She had the most perfect English accent.

Caleb pushed me out of the way ‘I’m not a coward’ he shouted.

‘Yes you are’ she said stepping right up to him. She wasn’t scared one bit. ‘You pick on people weaker then you. You know he can’t defend himself so you bully him. You’re a very sad little boy’

He raised his fist at her but she didn’t even flinch

‘Go on’ she said not taking her eyes off him ‘My bet is you have a terrible home life. Always trying to please daddy but he would rather slap you about a bit then listen to you. So when you’re not with him you take it out on people weaker then you. Am I right?’ from the look on his face she was.

I was too slow. I did not see the punch coming. Not that she needed my help. She ducked to avoid his punch the punched him instead. Right on the nose. He fell to the floor with blood oozing out of it. She turned to us.

‘You should all be ashamed of yourselves’ then she looked me right in the eye and looked at me with so much hate and disgust that I felt sick.

She took Frank again by the arm and went and sat back at her table.

Caleb was furious.

‘I think you should just leave’ I said

‘I am going to get that bitch for that’ he spat.

‘No you’re not’ I said standing in front of him. ‘Just go home’

Everyone started to leave with him.

‘You coming?’ Charlie asked.

‘I’m gonna make sure Frank is ok. He hit him pretty hard this time’

‘Ok mate, see ya later’

I watched them all leave then started to walk over to their table. I couldn’t let that be last look she gave me. I need tonight to end better. She wouldn’t go out with me if I didn’t at least apologize.

‘That was really cool’ Frank was saying when I got to the table ‘thank you. Nobody has ever stood up for me before’

‘Bullies are just week minded people. Weaker even then the people they bully’ She said. Her accent made her hotter. ‘Don’t let them do it too you anymore’

‘Are you ok Frank?’ I asked as I got to the table. She didn’t look up. I need her to look at me

‘I’m fine’ he said

I sat in the booth next to him. ‘I am really sorry. I tried to stop it’

‘Ha’ she snorted

‘I did’

‘Looked like it’ she said. She still wouldn’t look at me.

‘Would you guys like a ride home?’ I asked hoping to spend more time with her

‘My mum is on her way’ Frank said

‘No thanks’ she said

‘Do you know who that is?’ the young girl asked smiling at me

‘I don’t care.’ She got up and left the table pulling the girl with her. I got up and followed them out.

‘We live on the same street so I wouldn’t be going out of my way’ I said hopeful

‘No’ she said and started walking. Fine I’ll walk with her.

‘What’s your name?’ I asked. She ignored me. ‘I’m Jackson’ I said holding out my hand for her to shake. She ignored me again. I don’t think I have ever been ignored by anyone. ‘So you’re from England?’ I asked just hoping for anything at this point.

‘What gave me away?’ she said sarcastically.

‘Well it wasn’t the English charm I have heard so much about.’ Her lips twitched in a smile ever so slightly. I was getting somewhere.

Suddenly she stopped and faced me. The young girl stopped just behind her.

‘What do you want?’ she snapped. I was a bit shocked but she finally looked me in the eye.

‘Nothing’

‘So why are you following me?’

‘This is the way to my house too’

‘Whatever’ she said and carried on walking.

‘Ok wait, please wait’ she stopped again and looked at me. ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since I saw you this morning. I like you’

‘You don’t know me’

‘I want to’

She suddenly looked really sad ‘trust me, you don’t’ she turned away again ‘come on Paige’ she said to the girl. I wanted to hug her. She looked so unhappy.

I caught up to her and walked beside her in silence. It was dark and I didn’t want her to walk home on her own. Even though it was only another two blocks. When I got to her she didn’t say anything she just sighed.

When we got to the house Paige went running in but she stopped at the end of the driveway and looked at me.

‘Thank you for walking us home’

‘You’re welcome’ I said. ‘Although I now have to walk back and get my car’ she half smiled at me and then turned to walk away. I put my hand on her shoulder. ‘Wait’ I said. She looked at me again. I bent forward and kissed her on the side of her mouth. She took a sharp intake of breath which made me feel funny inside. ‘I will pick you up tomorrow at 10am. Be ready’

‘Why?’ she asked

‘I’ll show you around’ I said adding because I need to see you again in my head. I walked away before she could say no.

Beth

 

I watched him walk away. I was a bit confused as to what had just happened.

‘Elizabeth?’ I heard from behind me. I rolled my eyes and turned around. Jessica was stood right in front of me. She looked at Jacksons retreating figure.

‘It’s Beth!’ I said

‘Fine, Beth’ she said. ‘Look I don’t like Jack, he is not a good guy and I don’t want him around Paige or you’

‘He just walked us home, it was very nice of him actually’ I said smiling as sweetly as I could.

‘You’re not to see him anymore’ she said folding her arms. I started to laugh.

‘Fine, I dint plan on seeing him again anyway’ I walk into the house with a smirk. That will have annoyed her. She didn’t really get to tell me off.

I went straight up to my room and lay on my bed. I could still feel his kiss on the side of my mouth. I rubbed it with the back of my hand but it wouldn’t go. I never felt like that when someone touched me. He took my breath away. I wasn’t planning on seeing him though. I wasn’t lying. It was too complicated and I came here to get away from complicated!

 

The next morning I got up to an empty house. I looked at my watch and it was 9:15.

‘Thanks for been here for my first day waking up in a strange house’ I said to nobody.

I got in the shower, got dressed and went to make some breakfast. As I got to the bottom of the stairs there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there he stood in all his gorgeous glory. Why was he so hot?

‘Hey’ he said

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I told you I would pick you up at 10’ he said smiling that amazing smile. This was not good.

‘I thought you were joking’

‘No’ he said.

‘Well…I…you see’ I muttered

‘Is it my handsome face and rock hard abs that have you tongue tied?’

I actually laughed. ‘I can’t even see your abs’ I said.

‘You know they’re there though’ he said still smiling. I couldn’t help smiling back. ‘Come on, what else you gonna do today?’

I looked back at the empty house ‘fine let’s go’ and off we went.

‘So what’s your name?’

‘It’s Beth’

‘What do you want to do first Beth?’ he asked me when we got in his car.

‘Breakfast’ I replied.

‘I know just the place’

 

After a breakfast of beans, tomatoes, sausages, eggs, the works he took me to the beach. The sun was up and it was a beautiful day. I was glad I went for shorts and a vest top this morning. I was also glad I had a bobble on my wrist so I could tie my hair up. It was too long for this weather.

‘So where in England are you from?’ he asked me.

‘Leeds. It’s in the north’

‘I like your accent’

‘I don’t have an accent’ I say smiling

‘What’s it like there?’ he says smiling back

‘Cold’ I say

‘You don’t give much away do you?’

‘How do you mean?’

‘You’re a closed book’ he said tilting his head to the side ‘I have got nothing from you all morning’

I sigh ‘Leeds is a great city, its big; it has a great town centre with shops and places to eat. It’s got nice parks and places to go in the summer. Not that we get much of a summer. Not like this’ I say holding my hands up to the sun. ‘It basically rains 12 months of the year’

‘That’s pretty miserable’ he says

‘Nah, you get used to it’

‘Well that is the most you have spoken since we met’

I don’t say anything I just look at the sand.

‘Why are you so sad?’ he says pulling me round to face him. His face is really close to mine. Looking in my eyes it feels like he can see my soul, my heart. What’s left of them anyway.

‘I’m not sad’ I say lying. My own mother hasn’t picked up on that.

‘You are. I can see it in your eyes. Even when you smile it’s a sad smile’

My heart starts beating really fast. I think he is going to kiss me. What do I do if he kisses me?

‘I’m broken Jackson’ I say as tears spring to my eyes.

‘I’m going to fix you’ he says

‘You can’t, I’m not fixable’

‘Well I’m gonna try’ he kisses my forehead, takes my hand and we carry on walking down the beach.

 

I can’t stop looking at him. Nobody has spoken to me the way he did on the beach. Not since my dad.

We are on the pier. We have rode the rides and played the games and ate far too many sweets. He won me a stuffed bear which we called Bert.

We are in a little diner drinking milkshakes and sharing a sundae. I have had a great day. Better than I thought. I don’t want it to end. When it does I’ll have to go back to that house.

‘What you thinking?’ He’s asks

I look into his eyes and every time I do I spill out my secrets. ‘I feel like a stranger in my own home’ I say looking down at the table ‘I don’t wanna go back there but I don’t have a choice’

‘Why are you here? What is Jessica to you?’

‘She’s nobody important. As for the why, im going to keep that to myself for now I think’

‘Ok’ he says smiling. ‘I’ll find out eventually’

I just shake my head at him knowing he is right.

‘Can I have your number?’ he asks

‘I don’t have a phone’ I say

‘Why not?’

‘Well I have my English phone but that doesn’t work very good here and plus it costs a fortune to use’

‘Come on’ he says reaching for my hand.

I take it. ‘Where we going?’

‘To get you phone’

‘I don’t have any money on me’ I had all the money I had changed before I came but I didn’t bring any of it with me. ‘You’re not buying me a phone. You already paid for everything today’

‘Look’ he says staring me straight in the eyes ‘I need to be able to contact you, probably tonight so you need a phone’

‘Why would you need to contact me by phone you know where I live?’

‘What if you’re not in? Plus Jessica hates me. It was just luck that she wasn’t in today. Next time she might be and she won’t let me see you so you need a phone. Also ill need to text you tonight because I don’t think I’m going to be able to stay away from you and not have any contact with you for more than an hour’

‘What if I don’t want to see you again?’

‘Do you?’ Do I? He is the only person I know. He was watching me ponder my answer with his eyebrows raised.

‘Fine I’ll see you again’ He smiles and I just shake my head.

 

We are in his car outside my house. He is writing his number on a piece paper.

‘When your phone is set up and charged text me so I have your number ok?’

‘Ok’ I say back. I was sad. I didn’t want to leave him and go in that house.

‘You will be ok’ he says noticing my hesitation getting out the car. I look at him and smile. ‘There’s that sad smile again’ he leans over and kisses me again on the side of the mouth. I breathe in the smell of his hair as he does. It smells amazing. I want to run my fingers through it. I get out the car fast. I lean back in and look him in the eyes.

‘Thank you I have had a great day’

‘Thank you’ he says. ‘Call me if you need anything’

‘I will’ I close the door and walk to the house. When I get to the door and look back he is watching me. I wave and go in the house.

I run up the stairs but halfway up I hear my name called. Jessica was at the bottom of the stairs looking up at me.

‘Can you come in the living room please Beth?’ I followed her in and she sits on the sofa next to Max. ‘Sit’ she says pointing to the other sofa.

‘Where’s Paige?’ I ask and Max smiles. I think he likes that I like her.

‘She’s on a play date’ he says

‘Beth where have you been?’ Jessica asks

‘Out’ I say

‘With?’

‘Why?’ I know she knows.

‘I asked you not to see him again and you said you wouldn’t’

‘That was before I woke up on my own for the first time in your house’

‘I’m sorry about that’ she says looking at the floor ‘I thought you would sleep longer. We were just running errands’

‘Look I had no intention of seeing him again but he turned up and I was on my own so I went out with him. It’s really no big deal’

‘We had no way of getting in touch with you. You could have left a note or something’

‘You were worried?’ I ask gobsmacked.

‘Of course I was’ she says shocked. ‘Did you think I wouldn’t care?’

‘Why change the habit of a lifetime’ that hurt her. ‘Look I got a phone today so now you can contact me. I’ll give you the number when its set up’ I stood up ‘and please stop lecturing me about Jackson. He’s just a friend. I didn’t come here for anything more. I’ll stop it myself if he gets too much’

I go to my room and set up my phone. I write my number down and give it to Jessica. I don’t ask for hers. I put Jackson’s number in my phone. One number, how sad am I? Was I going to phone him though? He bought me the phone so I guess I should. Then an idea popped in my head. I searched my bag and found what I needed then went to find Jessica again.

‘Your friend in that house we went to she is Jacksons mum right?’ I asked

‘Yes she is’ she replied

‘Next time you go can you make sure Jackson gets this?’ I say handing her the money ‘it’s for the phone’

‘Jackson bought you it?’

‘Yeah’

‘Ok’ she said and I go back to my room. I feel a little bad for doing that but I just can’t deal with that until I’m more settled

Brooke

 

I wake up early on Saturday morning. I have to pick the new girl up. I have her address and I’m on my way. She lives on the same street as Jackass but he lives at the richer end. Her house is still big though.

I knock on the door and a very handsome man answers.

‘Hi’ He says

‘Hi I’m here for Elizabeth Cooper’ I say

‘Come in’ he says. I take a look at him and he has been painting. It’s spattered all over him. ‘Beth’ he shouts.

‘Coming’ comes a voice from upstairs.

‘She won’t be long’ he says moving into the kitchen. I’m just about to follow when the girl I assume is Elizabeth comes down the stairs. She has a short denim skirt on with a blue strappy top on and converse. Her dark brown hair is tied in a messy bun on top of her head. She has a bit of mascara on but that is it. She doesn’t need make up. She is stunning.

‘Hi I’m Brooke’ I say holding out my hand. She shakes it.

‘Beth’ she says back.

‘Let’s go’ I say opening her door

‘What are we going to do today?’ she asks me as we get in the car.

‘I have the keys to the school’ I say pulling away from her house ‘I figure I can show you where it is and show you around’

‘Is it not a bit early to show me round the school’ she says looking at me. ‘We don’t start for ages yet’

‘Yeah I know but I figure if I show you stuff now like where your locker is and some of the classrooms, cafeteria and toilets are then we can just concentrate on having an amazing summer getting to know each other’

‘Do you not have any friends?’

‘Why would you say that?’

‘Well’ she says looking at her hands ‘why would you wanna hang with me?’

‘Well for one your stunning and I reckon we could have our pick of boys on the beach and it’s been a long time since I had a pulling buddy. Two I want to get to know you. I’ve never met anyone from England before and three my best friend has gone to Florida for the summer so if you don’t hang with me then I’m all alone’

‘You must have other friends?

‘I do but I’m hanging with you’

‘Ok’ she said

‘You met anyone else while you’ve been here?’

She blushed and looked at her fingers again

‘You met a guy?’

‘It’s really not a big deal’ she says clearly embarrassed.

‘Oh I think it is’

She had secrets. She had a guy she liked. I was going to find out everything.

 

We had been in the school an hour. I had done most of the talking but she did seem more relaxed with me then when I first met her. I was going to a party tonight at Charlie’s house and I was hoping she would come. She could stay at mine. It would be fun. I would ask her later.

I showed her where her locker is and then said it was time to go.

‘Is that you?’ she said walking over to the wall of fame. It was so embarrassing having my picture on that wall.

‘Yeah. The school thinks they should put the biggest achievers on that wall’

‘You don’t agree?’

‘Not really. Everyone knows what I did’

‘Brooke Steele takes high school cheerleading team to state for the first time in 60 years’ She said reading it off the wall. ‘Cheerleader?’ she asks raising her eyebrows.

‘Yeah that’s me. Captain actually’ I had been thinking of quitting this year but I wasn’t going to vocalize that yet.

‘Who are the other people?’

‘Well that guy is Ross Thompson he ran the fastest 100 metres in our states history. That guy there is Freddie Milner. He took the school scholastic team to the final last year. He is hoping to win this year. He is unbelievably hot but a big nerd. People are confused by him but he’s a nice guy. Charlie got an award for writing an article in a local newspaper that got seen by a young writers thing and they entered him for this comp and he won. I don’t really know much about it’ I was lying I knew everything about it. I was deeply in love with Charlie but he friend zoned me a long time ago. Now on to the Jackass ‘that’s Jackson Connelly. He is the captain of the football team. They have won everything under him. He is MVP and a shoo in for a scholarship to any of the best colleges around. But he is an arse. He is a man whore who broke my best friend’s heart’

‘A man whore?’ she asked

‘Yeah I mean look at him’ she did ‘he is gorgeous. Every girl in this school swoons every time he is around. He has slept with half of them while he was dating Maddy. She is so in love with him and you know what he said when she told him?’

She shook her head. It was rhetorical.

‘He said ‘aw that’s nice’ and left to go to a party where he left with a girl from another school’ I was getting angry ‘I don’t know what she ever saw in him’

‘They broke up?’

‘Yeah last week, right before she went to Florida for the summer. I guess he can’t cheat on her anymore. He is leaving soon to go to some camp’

‘Hmmm’ she said.

 

We spent the rest of the day together. She was really funny once she got talking. She told me about her friends and family back home and a little about a boy she left but I could tell she didn’t want to talk about him. I was trying to convince her to come to Charlie’s party with me.

‘Is this the same Charlie who was on that fame board in the school?’ she asked.

‘Yep the same guy’ I replied

‘You like him’

‘What? No I don’t’

‘Come on your eyes lit up when you talked about him in the school’ nobody had ever noticed that before. I might as well tell her the truth I mean we were going to be friends.

‘Ok so I kinda love him but he is not interested.

‘How can he not be interested? Have you seen you?’

‘Yeah well’ I said looking at my hands. We were sat in my favourite place to eat. I didn’t come here often because it was burgers and fries and even though I love them a cheerleader has to keep fit ‘he friend zoned me a long time ago’

‘Why would he do that?’

‘He had some stuff going on at home and he said he didn’t want a girlfriend at the time so I accepted that. He has also had about 8 girlfriends since then so I guess he is not interested’ it was hard to talk about. I thought he needed time but it turns out he just didn’t want me

‘Sorry’ she said. ‘I can see it upsets you’

‘Don’t worry’ I changed the subject. ‘So are you coming tonight?’

‘Fine’ she sighed ‘You better drop me at the mall so I can buy summat decent to wear.’

‘Yay’ I was so happy. I think I might have found a real friend.

Beth

 

I loved loved loved hanging with Brooke. It was good to have a girlfriend. Although I think I should have told her about Jackson and the things I was feeling. Isn’t that what you do with a girlfriend? I was gonna have to ring Miranda. After the things she told me about Jackson though I was scared to say that I knew him. I can’t believe I fell for his games. At least nothing happened. Only the two kisses that he left on the side of my mouth. I could still feel them sometimes. And he was leaving? For how long?

I can’t get him out of my head. He is going to be at this party tonight so I had to look amazing. Brooke told me what she was wearing and told me not to get too dressed up. I had bought a pair of shorts (not too short) a nice top that had no back to it and a pair of ankle boots.

When I left the mall it was getting dark. Brooke was picking me back up later when I text her and told her I was ready.

I was walking for about half an hour when I realised I was lost. I started to panic. I knew I had already passed this house because I liked the pink flowers in the garden.

I couldn’t be too far from the house now. Why did I not pay better attention the other day when I walked home with Paige? I must have took a wrong turn somewhere.

I’m gonna have to ring someone. There are only two numbers in my phone. Jackson wasn’t an option right now. I was too embarrassed to call Brooke.

‘Hey honey you lost?’ I stopped walking and turned around. There was a man on the other side of the road. I don’t know what it was about him but my heart sank. He had ripped jeans on and a coat that was far too big for him.

‘N.n.n.n.no im ok thanks’ I stuttered and I started walking fast.

I pulled out my phone and called Brook. No answer. I glanced behind me and he was following me. I called her again. Still no answer. Why did I not put Max’s number in my phone? I glanced again. He was getting closer. I was ok punching a bully but this was different. I was gonna have to call Jackson. I had no other choice. With shaking hands I looked at my phone.

Jackson

 

‘Dude seriously snap out of it’ Charlie shouted at me.

‘What?’ I asked

‘What is going on? You have been out of it all day’

‘Sorry I just got some things going on’

‘Like what?’ he asked looking concerned ‘is it Maddy?’

I actually laughed. ‘No it’s not Maddy’ Beth had sent Jessica round with the money for the phone. She hadn’t given me her number and now I didn’t know if I would ever see her again.

‘Tell me’ Charlie said’

‘I met a girl. We had the most amazing day together and then nothing not even a text’

‘Wow somebody rejected you?’

‘The irony is not lost on me Charlie’

‘Maybe she will come tonight’

‘She doesn’t know anybody’ I was changing the subject ‘is Brooke coming’

‘Shut up’

‘I don’t know why you don’t just tell her you like her?’

‘She moved on dude, so did I. Now sort your face out before the party tonight’

He walked away. I couldn’t get Beth out of my mind. The way her lips felt on mine and I had only kissed a small part of them. Imagine if I could kiss all of them, all of her. My phone ringing pulled me out of my fantasy. It was a number I did not know.

‘Hello’ I answered

‘Jackson I need your help?’ It was her. She sounded scared. I started to pace the floor.

‘What’s up?’ I asked

‘I got lost leaving the mall and some creepy guy is following me and I don’t know where I am’

I was shaking with anger. Some guy thought he could do that to my Beth. I don’t think so. I was in my car and pulling out of Charlie’s drive so fast I don’t remember doing it. She had given me street names that she could see but I told her not stop. She was still on the phone to me. She sounded scared. I was scared. I didn’t want her to get hurt. Finally I rounded a corner and there she was. The guy was so close to her. It took everything I had not to run him over.

I got out the car and ran over. He immediately turned around and walked the other way.

‘You will fucking walk away you perv’ I shouted. Beth was shaking. I pulled her into a hug and even though I knew how scared she must have been I smiled. I liked having her this close to me. She was holding on so tight.

‘Are you ok?’ I asked

She tilted her head back to look at me ‘I am now’ she smiled.

I couldn’t help it. I kissed her properly on the lips. My head spun. She was kissing me back. I couldn’t believe it. She put her hands through my hair and I groaned. Nobody had ever had that effect on me before. All too soon it was over, she pulled away.

‘Sorry’ I panted

‘Don’t be’ she said ‘I just don’t want to move too fast. I only broke up with someone a few weeks ago’

‘Ok we will take it slow’ I grabbed her hand and led her to my car. ‘We need to talk though do you have time?’ she looked at her watch

‘Not much time really I’m supposed to be going to this party’

‘Charlie’s party? With who?’ please don’t say another guy.

‘Brooke Steele’ shit this was bad ‘she doesn’t like you’ yep this was really bad.

‘Look whatever she told you’ she held up her had to stop me. We had just pulled up outside her house.

‘I don’t want to talk about it right now, I have to go get changed’ she put her hand on the door then stopped. She turned around and lent over to me. She kissed me once very lightly on the lips. ‘Thank you for coming to get me’ then she got out the car and ran up the drive way and into the house without looking back.

 

When I got back to Charlie’s he gave me a funny look. I know he wanted to know where I had just been but I didn’t want to talk about it. Even after the horrible things that Brooke must have told her she kissed me back and said she wanted to take things slow. I had never really done slow before but I’m sure I could learn. I would do anything to be with Beth.

When people started to show up I couldn’t help but look at the door every time it opened. After about an hour of disappointments she walked in behind Brooke. She looked amazing. I didn’t care what anyone said I was kissing her again right now. I saw Charlie walk up to Brooke and say hi. I wish they would sort things out. I walked right up to Beth. When she saw me she looked relieved and she smiled. I grabbed her face and kissed her once. It was a long one though.

‘Hey’ she said when I pulled away.

‘Hey’ I said back. I noticed Brooke and Charlie staring at us with their mouths open. ‘Can I get you a drink?’ I asked her.

‘We will get our own drinks’ Brooke said grabbing Beth’s hand. ‘We need to talk’

‘I’ll find you later’ I said to her retreating back

‘Dude’ Charlie said standing in front of me ‘Is that the girl? The girl who punched Caleb?’

I took in a deep breath ‘yep that’s her’

‘She’s hot. I guess she likes you’

‘Why do you think that’ I knew she liked me I just wanted to know what he thought

‘The look she gave you after you kissed her’ He tried to mimic her face which made me laugh. ‘She likes you’

‘Good’ I was relieved that I wasn’t just imagining it.

An hour later and I was bored. Brooke had had enough time with her it was my turn.

Somebody grabbed my arm and pulled me towards them. I felt arms around my neck. I knew it wasn’t Beth because this person was far too rough.

‘Hey sexy long time no see’ shit it was Shelly. She was usually my go too at a party. She was easy.

‘Hey’ I said pulling her arms away.

‘What’s the matter? I thought with Maddy away you would have called’

‘Sorry I can’t’ I said. She looked really sad ‘I met someone’

‘That never stopped you any other time’

‘It’s stopping me this time. I’m sorry’ I said again. Before I even knew what was happening her lips were crushed against mine’

‘I told you’ I heard Brooke say behind me. I pushed Shelly away and spun around and looked straight into Beth’s beautiful but incredibly angry eyes.

Beth

 

I felt sick. I can’t believe I fell for it. I mumbled a goodbye to Brooke then ran for the door which was hard considering all the people at the party. I had just spent the last hour telling Brooke how nice Jackson was and that she clearly did not know him that well. Then I see him kissing someone else. What a douche! I could hear him shouting my name. Shit he was running after me. I got to the gate before he caught me.

‘Please Beth she kissed me I was pulling away I swear I told her I wasn’t interested but she wouldn’t believe me please you have to believe me’ he took in a large intake of breath. He looked so desperate. ‘Come with me’ I let him grab my hand and pull me to his car. He helped me get in and then went round to the driver’s side. After 20 minutes we pulled up at his house. We didn’t go in the house though we went round the back.

In the back was what I could only describe as a big shed. We went in and it was like a boys dream house. It had games consoles and big gaming chairs. It had a sofa and a bed in there. There were posters of bands and various sports teams all around the room.

‘I only sleep in here in the summer it gets too cold in winter’

I nodded my head once then sat on the sofa waiting for him to say why he had brought me here.

‘I know what Brooke told you’ he said pacing the floor ‘Cheated on his girlfriend over and over again. Wouldn’t tell her he loved her. Used girls for sex and enjoyed it. Man whore I think is her favourite description of me. But that was before I met you. Trust me you are all I think about now’

He sat on the sofa next to me and looked me right in the eyes. I could melt in those eyes.

‘I want you so badly that nobody else can even compare. Please speak’ I still hadn’t said anything.

‘I think your lying. I think you want in my pants and are pulling out all the stops because I’m not as interested as the other girls around here and that drives you crazy. You only want me because you don’t think you can have me’

‘Can I have you?’ he asked

‘Half hour ago I was yours’ that wasn’t completely true. I was contemplating been his but to get my point across this was better.

He sighed and sat with his head back. ‘I am never going to get people to believe that I have changed or want to change at least’ I felt a bit sorry for him.

‘You have no one to blame for your reputation but yourself’

‘I know that’ he sat up and looked right at me. ‘I will prove myself to you. I will not be with another girl as long as you are in my life. I will only have eyes for you. You don’t need to be my girlfriend for me to do this. Even if you get a boyfriend that is not me - which I really hope you don’t – I will still only have eyes for you’

‘Wow big speech’

‘I mean every word. I promise’

‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep’

‘I’ll keep it. Just you wait’

‘Why didn’t you love your girlfriend?’ I asked the question before I realised I was gonna ‘I’m sorry that’s none of my business’

‘It’s fine I want us to be completely honest with each other’ he leaned closer to me and grabbed my hand. His thumb started making circles along mine and it sent shivers down my spine. I don’t think he even realised that he did it. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted more then to kiss him I wanted his hands all over me. This is not good!

‘Maddy and me we started off good 3 years ago. We were young and I did not know what love was. I thought I loved her but when I got older I realised that I didn’t. I wanted to. I wished that I did. As we got older we got drama. I couldn’t deal with it all and one night at a party while she was off sulking I met Shelly. She doesn’t go to our school so I figured why not right? I know I was a dick but when I was with her I just forgot about Maddy and the drama. I continued this behaviour every weekend. Different party, different girl. Maddy knew but she never said anything. Then six months ago she told me she loved me and I said aw that’s nice’ he shook his head ‘I felt awful but I knew I had to end it then. It took me till last week to get the courage to do it. She was leaving for the summer so I figured if I did it then she would have the summer to get over me and I had the summer to do what I always do but without the guilt’ he took a deep breath. ‘Then I saw you in Jessica’s car and when you smiled at me it took my breath away. All I wanted to do was kiss you. You know why I kissed you tonight at the party even though everyone was watching?’

I shook my head.

‘Because I can’t remember the time before that’ I smiled ‘it made me feel dizzy. Nobody has ever made me feel the way that I do when you’re around. Just you been here now I feel safe somehow. Like everything is going to be ok’ He put his head back on the sofa. ‘Pathetic right?’

‘No it’s not pathetic. It is the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time’ I said. I stared at him for a few minutes. He really was beautiful. He had a strong jaw and big muscular arms that would feel so good wrapped around me. I couldn’t help myself. I shocked myself but I shocked him more. I jumped up and sat on his lap looking directly into his eyes. He had amazing eyes. Then I kissed him. He was surprised for about half a second then started to kiss me back. There was so much passion in his kiss I thought I was going to combust.

I pulled him forward and pulled off his shirt. He was right about his abs. He was buff.

He pulled my top over my head and just stared at me for a second.

‘You’re beautiful’ he said in a hoarse tone.

I kissed him again. He grabbed me under my legs and picked me up carrying me to the bed. I kicked off my boots as we went. He lay me down on the bed and pulled off my shorts. He took off his trousers and lay on top of me. I could feel how excited he was.

‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ He asked.

‘Oh I’m sure’ I replied.

Charlie

The party was starting to wind down. Jack did not come back so he either got what he wanted out of the new girl or he was rejected and he was home licking his wounds.

Brooke was in the corner talking to some guy. I hate how jealous I got. Maybe Jack was right and I should just tell her how I feel.

I went into the kitchen to start the clear up.

‘Want some help?’ said a voice from behind me that made me jump. ‘Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you’

Brooke looks amazing tonight. She always looks amazing.

‘So do you want some help?’ she asked again.

‘Yeah sure, thanks’ I watched her as she moved round the kitchen. I don’t really understand where it went wrong for us. She was nearly my girlfriend then my folks split and I asked her to wait for me until that was all sorted and she said she would but then next thing she had a boyfriend. We had never discussed it. Maybe we should. I think the alcohol in me was making me brave.

‘Why didn’t you wait for me?’

‘What?’ she said turning to look at me with a handful of bottles

‘When my folks got divorced I asked you to wait but you didn’t’

She looked like she didn’t know how to answer. She put the bottles back on the side.

‘Follow me’ she said. I did and she led me out the front door. We walked down the driveway and she stopped at the gate. ‘You were stood here and I was over there near that tree’

‘What?’ I didn’t understand

‘You asked me to wait for you and I did until the day you were stood here and I was stood by that tree’

‘I don’t understand’

‘My parents had a huge fight one night and my dad he stormed out. I was gutted and really upset. You were the only person I wanted to see so I came to see you. I got to that tree over there and you were stood here with Maria Short’ shit. She stood and waited while I realised what she was getting at.

‘You saw me kiss Maria’

‘Yeah I saw. Here I was waiting for you to want me and you were out with someone else. So I went out with Tommy Dawson on a few dates.’

‘That’s who I saw you with. That’s when I started seeing other people’

‘Why did you go out with her?’

I guess at this point the truth was the best way to go. Maybe she would forgive me.

‘I didn’t know if I was ready yet so when Maria asked me out I said yes as like a test run. I know that’s awful but if I would have asked you out and it hadn’t worked out because I was too screwed up and you ended up getting hurt then I would never have been able to forgive myself’

‘You hurt me anyway. You broke my heart’ a single tear ran down her face. I was at her side in three strides. I wiped the tear away.

‘Brooke Steele you are the most amazing person I have ever met. I miss not having you in my life’

‘I don’t know if I can trust you’

‘That’s fair’ I said although it killed me that she didn’t just kiss me. ‘Why don’t we just start hanging out again, you know get to know each other’

She thought about it for a minute. ‘On one condition’

‘Shoot’

‘If while we are getting to know each other again you still want to see other girls can you please not do it in front of me’

‘You know if we were together I would never cheat on you?’ She had to believe that.

‘Yeah if we were together officially I would trust you completely but while we are not just don’t rub it in my face’

That seemed fair ‘you have to do the same’

‘I don’t want anyone but you so you don’t have to worry about that’ she turned around and walked back in the house.

 

When I went to bed that night I felt like things were starting to make sense again. I had missed Brooke so much and knowing that I hurt her made me want to punch myself. I always thought she moved on first but she saw me that night with Maria. I thought I was so careful.

This summer was going to be a lot more fun than I thought. Getting to know Brooke again was exciting. I wouldn’t see anyone else while that was happening. If we didn’t end up together then so be it but I was gonna do my best to make it up to her.

I also had to sort Jack out. Pining over someone he doesn’t even know. That had to be sorted. He couldn’t behave like that. He should just ask her out already. Sleep was not going to come easy tonight.

 

Jackson

When I woke I was happier than I had been in a long time. Maybe ever. I turned over and reached out for Beth but her side was empty. I sat up hoping she was just on the sofa or somewhere but all her clothes were gone too. My happy didn’t last long.

I don’t understand. Last night was amazing. After we made love (which was like nothing I had ever experienced before) we talked for hours and then made love again before she fell asleep in my arms. How had she got away without me knowing? I got up and dressed and looked for my phone. When I found it there was nothing. No message saying where she was. I tried to call her but there was no answer. I text her

 

Hey what happened? Where

Did you go? I was hoping we

Could get breakfast? Let me

Know xxx

 

I went in the house and went to my room. I got a quick shower and got dressed. I checked my phone. Nothing. I phoned again but still no answer. I went to the kitchen and made some toast.

I don’t understand we had a good night. We had a great night.

I went back out to my den and fired up the PlayStation, which would kill some time.

After a very long hour I decided to give up. It wasn’t working. I was just about to leave when Charlie came in.

‘Hey man’ he said. He looked happy.

‘I’m just leaving’

‘I need to talk to you’

‘Ok’ I sat on the sofa and he sat next to me. ‘What’s up?’

‘I sorted some things out with Brooke last night’ that’s why he is happy.

‘It’s about time’

‘Yeah well do you remember when I went on that date with Maria Short?’ I nodded for him to continue ‘I didn’t know if I was ready to date anyone then and I wanted Brooke so bad that I didn’t want to ruin it by seeing her when I wasn’t ready. Do you follow?’

‘So you were testing the water so to speak?’ why was he telling me this

‘Yeah exactly. Only problem is Brooke saw me kiss Maria that night and that’s why she moved on’

‘Ouch that must not have been very nice for her’

‘It wasn’t. She said I broke her heart’

‘Why are you telling me all this?’

‘You’re my best friend and I had to tell someone. I feel like shit’

‘You look like the cat that got the cream’

He laughed out loud ‘we are not together, yet but now I know it’s going somewhere I’m not as worried or stressed about it. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Even though I’m not officially with Brooke she’s the only one I want. No more girls mate. You’re on your own from now on’

Wow he meant it too. I sat with my head back. Me and Charlie we ruled parties like the one last night. We got any girl we wanted.

‘There must have been something in that beer last night mate’ I said sighing

‘Why?’

‘I told Beth that as long as she was in my life I wouldn’t go near another girl. I meant it too. I think I’m falling for her’

‘Seriously?’

‘Don’t look so shocked’

‘Sorry’ he leaned back too. ‘I was going to come here and tell you not to mess this girl around. That it’s about time you sorted your shit out but it seems I don’t need to do that’

‘No you don’t’

‘So what happened?’

‘Well I caught up with her to try and convince her that Shelly kissed me. I was so desperate for her to believe me. I brought her here so we could talk but she said she didn’t believe me and she thought I was just trying to get in her pants. Honestly dude it was awful. I don’t want her to not be able to trust me. Anyway we talked for a while and then out of nowhere she jumped on me. She was sat on me legs either side holding my head and kissing me. Now I thought maybe she was being shy with me because she didn’t have much experience but that is not the case at all’

‘You had sex?’ Charlie said smiling at me. ‘You always have sex’

‘This was different. It meant something. It meant everything’

‘So why do you look like some has just shit on you’

I sighed ‘because when I woke up she was gone. She won’t answer my calls or return my texts’

‘Wow’

‘Again the irony is not lost on me Charlie’

‘Ok I’m not trying to be a dick but this is karma man. It bit you on the ass’

‘Yeah I know’ he was right I deserved this. I left every girl I had ever been with before they woke up. Except for Maddy. But even then sometimes. ‘I’m going to her house’

‘No you can’t. You’re going to come off really desperate’

‘Your right’ I took a deep breath ‘but I don’t care. I have to find out why at least’

‘Do you really want to know that?

‘Yeah I do’

‘Fine I won’t stop you but promise me something’

‘What?’

‘Do not beg’

‘What? I would never beg’

‘You also would never go chasing a girl out of a party shouting her name like a mad man just because she saw you kiss someone even though you’re not with said girl’

‘Ok I know I’m acting out of the ordinary but I’m not stopping till she is mine’

‘Ok I’ll see you later then’ he got up and walked out. He was right I shouldn’t go. I got up put on my jacket and went to my car.

I sat in my car on the street in front of her house for half an hour. Jessica’s car was not there so I knew it was safe to knock but I didn’t know what to say.

I got out the car and walked up the driveway. Half way up I turned around and walked back. Then changed my mind again and turned back round. I knocked on the door and waited. Jessica’s husband answered. I don’t know his name.

He stood looking at me.

‘Hi’ I said ‘is Beth home?’

‘No she’s not’

‘Oh ok’ damn it ‘Do you know when she will be back’

‘Sorry no’

‘Do you mind if I wait out here’

‘You’re going to wait even though she could be gone hours?’

‘Yeah’ I said very matter of fact.

‘Feel free’ he said pointing to the porch swing.

‘Thanks’

 

After two hours I was very bored and very hungry. I had debated giving up a thousand times in my head but I had stayed. I just needed to know why she left.

Suddenly the front door opened and the same guy from earlier came out.

‘Here’ he said handing me a sandwich and a can of pop. ‘Don’t tell Jessica I gave you that’

I smiled ‘Thanks err….’

‘It’s Max’

‘Right, thank you Max’

He sat down next to me while I ate the sandwich which was good.

‘Why are you here?’ he asked

I swallowed what was in my mouth then answered ‘I think I did something wrong but I don’t know what’

‘So you’re here because?’

I couldn’t tell him the truth. I couldn’t say I had sex with the girl living in your house and I think I’m in love with her but she won’t speak to me and I’m dying inside. That last bit was a bit over the top. ‘I just want to know why she won’t speak to me’

‘You have no idea what you did?’

‘No. Do you?’

‘She is a teenage girl. I’m the last person she will speak to’

‘We had a great night. I thought we were getting to know each other and then today, nothing’

‘You really shouldn’t try and understand the female mind Jackson. You will just go mad’ he got up and went to the door. He turned back to me before he went inside and said ‘Beth is a good girl. She got dealt a shitty hand and it’s been really tough for her. Do you like her?’

‘Yeah I do. More than I probably should’

He smiled ‘don’t give up on her. Even if she tells you to get lost’

‘I have no intention of giving up’

He smiled again, nodded once then went in the house.

 

Beth

 

I had been writing some emails to my friends and grandma (who I set up with an email before I left) when Max came in. It was a bit chilly today so I was wearing jeans and my comfy jumper. I loved it because the arms were really long.

‘He is still out there’ Max said sitting on the bed.

‘Still?’ I put my head in my hands ‘How long has it been?’

‘Nearly 6 hours’ I looked up at him ‘I went out to see him. Took him a sandwich’

‘Why?’

‘Because he had been there ages and I felt sorry for him’

‘Did he tell you what happened?’

‘Just that last night you had a great time together and now you wouldn’t speak to him’ phew ‘what did he do?’

‘Nothing really’ I sighed ‘I don’t want to like him as much as I do. I….. ‘ I paused. I didn’t really know Max

‘Look. I know we don’t know each other and I’m not trying to be your dad but I will tell you now, because I do care about you, that boy out there is so in love with you. I instantly liked him. I’m not going to tell Jessica that right away but….’

‘How do you know he loves me?’

‘You could see it in his eyes. Now go talk to the boy. Invite him for dinner if you like. Your mums not back till the morning’

‘Fine. I guess I can’t leave him out there all night’. I got up and went downstairs.

I paused at the door for a second then went out. He looked shocked when I he saw me.

‘I thought you were out?’

‘Yeah I’m not’ I looked at the floor ‘Sorry’

He stood up and before I could say anything his arms were round me. I embraced the hug. It felt nice to be in his arms again.

‘Can we sit?’ I asked.

He moved us to the swing. He held my hand the whole time.

‘I didn’t mean to just run off. I’m sorry for that’ he smiled a shy kind of smile. That smile that I love. ‘Last night was amazing, like seriously amazing. I have never felt this way about anybody. When I was with you last night I forgot everything that is bad in my life’

‘So what happened?’

‘I found your acceptance letter to that football camp’ I already knew about the camp but I had forgotten about it until I saw the letter.

He sat back ‘oh’

‘Yeah. I wasn’t snooping I just wanted to look at your things. To know you better and I saw it.’ I took a deep breath ‘Jackson I have serious abandonment issues. My mum left me when I was three and since then everyone I have ever loved has left me. I saw the letter and I freaked.’

‘You love me?’ he asked smirking

I smiled ‘no I don’t love you but like I said last night was amazing’ I let go of his hand and stood up. ‘When do you go?’

‘Wednesday. I wish I could get out of it but it’s a once in a lifetime chance’

‘I don’t want you to get out of it. But I’m not starting anything with you before you go’

‘So you just took off?’

‘Yeah’ I said sheepishly

‘That’s fucked up Beth’ I was leaning against the railing of the porch. He stood up and put his hands on the railing, one on each side of me. Are faces were so close I could smell his hair.

‘I’m sorry’ I was losing all capability of speaking while he was this close. Flashbacks from last night were rushing through my head. Him kissing my neck, holding my arms above my head, me scratching my nails up his back.

‘Look I have two days before I leave and it’s you I want to spend it with’ he kissed me gently on the lips. When he deepened the kiss I made a moaning sound. ‘That reminds me of last night’ he said smiling against my mouth.

I put my hand on his chest and pushed him away. ‘Calm down’ I said smiling. ‘Do you want to stay for dinner?’

He pulled a face and I knew he was thinking of Jessica.

‘She’s not back till the morning’

He smiled ‘ok then’

He held my hand and I led him inside.

 

Dinner was fun. Max was really funny and not in an embarrassing way. He and Jackson got on really well. I didn’t know if that made me happy or not. While they talked I thought about some things. If I was going to date Jackson having Max onside would help with Jessica. I think if me and Jackson gave it ago and actually committed to each other I think I could really love him which scared me considering I never loved Preston. My feelings for Jackson were already stronger than anything I had felt before. I really needed to speak to Miranda or Brooke.

He was leaving for 4 weeks. He would be back just before school. Also I knew from what Brooke said that the girls at school liked him and threw themselves at him. Could I trust him? Would he stay faithful or would he break my heart. I don’t know if my heart could take it.

Whatever my answers were to all these questions I knew unequivocally that I wanted to spend the next 2 days with him.

After dinner Max went to work and left me and Jackson to watch Paige. She was ecstatic that Jackson was here. She made him play games and go to a tea party and watch her dance routine she had just learned in her dance class. None of it seemed to bother him. It made me like him more. After begging us to watch Frozen with her Jackson gave in and she ran upstairs to get it. I got up from the sofa to go make popcorn. As I got to the kitchen Jackson spun me around, pushed me against the wall and kissed me. Every time he kissed me there was so much passion in it. Like he really wanted me.

‘How can I feel like this after less than a week of knowing you’ he said breathlessly

‘Like what? I said smiling.

‘Like you’re the only person in my whole world’ he kissed me again. Deeper this time. He didn’t stop till we heard Paige coming down the stairs. He pulled away and went back to the living room and I went to make popcorn whilst trying to catch my breath.

 

Paige fell asleep 20 minutes into the movie but Jackson and I carried on watching. He had his arm round my shoulder and I had my head on his chest. Paige had her head on his leg and the rest of her body lay out on the sofa. When the film finished Jackson carried Paige to bed. I took off her slippers and tucked her in.

I turned to walk back downstairs when Jackson grabbed me and pulled me into my room. He kissed me so hard my knees buckled.

He laid me on the bed and lay on top of me. He ran his hand up my leg then up my jumper.

‘Stop’ I said pushing his hand back down.

‘What? Why?’ he said leaning on his elbow.

‘Paige is in the other room’

‘So she’s asleep’

I pushed him off me and laid on my side looking at him. ‘Sorry but we can’t’

‘Ok’ he sighed lying on his back. ‘I just can’t help myself when I am around you’

‘I’m flattered’ I said laughing. ‘It’s not that I don’t want to. Trust me I do but not while Paige is here.’

‘It’s cool I get it’ he sits up. ‘I should go’

I panic. I don’t want him to go. ‘No please stay’ I say grabbing his arm. ‘We can talk’

‘Ok’ he says lying back down and pulling me into his arms. ‘Let’s talk’

Jackson

 

I wake up because the sun is shining right in my eyes. It takes me a second to realise where I am. I turn my head away from the sun and see Beth, still in my arms. This is much better then yesterday morning. I kiss her forehead and she stirs awake

‘Morning gorgeous’ I said kissing her on the lips.

‘Morning handsome’ she said back.

Just then someone clears their throat. We both sit up real fast. Jessica is sat in a chair at the end of the bed. I thought Beth would try and make some excuse but she just stares at Jessica.

‘You think you can have sex in my house’ Jessica shouts

‘We didn’t have sex’ Beth said calm as you like. ‘I would never do that with Paige here. Plus were on top of the covers with our clothes on’

‘I’m sorry Jessica we were talking and fell asleep’ I said. I already knew she hated me but by the look she gave me it was worse than I thought.

‘You need to get out of my house’ she practically spat at me.

‘Don’t speak to him like that’ Beth said grabbing my hand.

‘I told you he wasn’t allowed in the house’

‘Max invited him in for dinner last night. He knew he was here’

‘You little liar’

Beth just laughed. I was furious. ‘She’s not lying’

‘Jackson its fine’ Beth said ‘I really don’t give flying fuck what she thinks of me. Come on lets go.’ She grabbed my arm and led me out the bedroom.

Jessica followed us.

‘ELIZABETH’ she shouted ‘you are grounded, don’t you dare leave this house’ Beth just carried on walking ‘I am warning you Elizabeth’

‘IT’S BETH!’ Beth shouted back. ‘I’ll be grounded in two days when Jackson has left. Until then you are not stopping me seeing him’

‘I am your mother’ what??

‘No you’re not’ Beth said. She grabbed my arm and we were out the door. ‘Breakfast’ she said when we got in the car. Totally calm again.

We drove in silence. How did I not know Jessica was her mum? She said her mum abandoned her when she was three. Why was she living with her now?

Once we got a table and ordered I decided to ask.

‘So Bitchface is your mum?

‘Ha bitchface that’s funny’ she laughed then looked sad. ‘Unfortunately yes she is my mum’

‘Wow’ I can’t believe I never knew she had a daughter. I wonder how long my mum had known.

‘Yeah I know. She left me and my dad when I was three. Came here for a better life. A better family too I guess’ she looked at her hands ‘I’m not mad at her anymore. I used to be but I’m kinda over it. Like I don’t hate her anymore but I don’t like her either. I just don’t feel anything for her’

‘Why are you here? Living with her’

She sighed. Her eyes looked haunted. I wanted to hug her but I thought if I did she wouldn’t talk to me.

‘My dad died’ oh man. A tear ran down her face. She quickly wiped it away. ‘He did everything for me. He raised me’

‘When did he die?’

‘Two years ago’ she shook her head. ‘Jessica didn’t even come to the funeral. She didn’t even call to make sure I was ok. I’m her daughter. As soon as he died I should have been here with her. She should have looked after me. She didn’t though it was my Grandma that looked after me. I’m sure I aged her about 20 years’ she laughed.

‘How?’

‘I went completely off the rails. No parents to watch me. I did some bad things and I ended up in a youth correctional facility. Detention centre basically. I realised while I was in there that I was just been self-destructive. I had not really dealt with my grief. I had some counselling while I was in there and came out a different person. Only one school would take me but it meant repeating my last two years so I would have been older then everyone. Then my grandma suggested I come here. Go to school where I can start fresh with kids my own age. It was better than not going to school so she arranged everything with Jessica and here I am.’

‘I bet Paige was so excited when she knew you were finally coming’

‘They didn’t know, Paige and Max, Jessica didn’t tell them about me till just before I came here’

‘Are you been serious?’

‘Yeah, unfortunately I am’

 

We spent the whole day on the pier. She caught sun on her face and her cheeks were all rosy. She looked beautiful. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

I dropped her off at her house about four ish. I offered to go in with her but she said she would be fine. I told her to ring me if she needed me otherwise I would be back at 7 to pick her up. I was talking her on a real date. We had stopped at the mall so she could buy a dress. She wouldn’t show me it; she said she didn’t normally do dresses. I couldn’t wait to see her in it.

When I got to my house I went through the front door to the stairs

‘Jack?’ my mum shouted. Damn it I bet Jessica had phoned. I went into the kitchen and sat on one of the breakfast stools. I waited. She was making dinner. ‘Honey I don’t think it is a god idea that you see Elizabeth anymore’

‘It’s Beth, she doesn’t like Elizabeth’

‘Ok listen’

‘Mum’ I said looking her straight in the eyes ‘I am not going to stop seeing her. I don’t care what Jessica tries to do, I am not going to stop seeing her’

‘Jack what is going on? You have been a different person the last 2 weeks’

‘I have not’

‘You have. You were singing in the shower yesterday. I haven’t seen any girls coming out of that den of yours. You have only been to one party since the summer started. Something has changed’ I couldn’t help but smile. ‘Also I haven’t seen that smile in a long time’

‘Mum I’m in big trouble. She has turned my world upside down’

‘She means a lot to you?’

‘She means everything’

‘Does she feel the same?’ I thought about it for what seemed like forever.

‘I don’t know’ she looked worried ‘she told me that she had never felt this way about anyone before and I know she wants me I can tell when we kiss’ I maybe shouldn’t have shared that with my mother ‘but weather her feelings are as strong as mine then I don’t know’

‘Do you love her?’ do I? I mean she is all I think about.

‘I don’t know’

‘Then you don’t. Yet at least. Trust me you will know when you do.’

‘I can tell you this though and you can tell Jessica. She is the only thing I think about. First thing on a morning last thing on a night kinda deal. I miss her when I’m not with her and the thought of leaving her for four weeks makes me feel physically sick. When I get back she will be my girlfriend and I will do everything in my power to make that be forever’

‘That sounds like love to me. The beginning of it anyway’

‘Ok well thanks for this little chat but I have a date with the most beautiful girl in the world’

She came towards me and hugged me. ‘Just be careful ok. Jess said she has had a hard life’

‘Whose fault is that? Just out of interest how long have you known about Beth?’

‘Jess told me the first time I met her. She was really ashamed’

‘She should be. She should also stop judging me when what she did was way worse’ I left it at that and went to shower.

 

When I knocked on Beth’s front door I couldn’t understand why I was so nervous. We had already spent loads of time together. We had already slept together. This wasn’t our first date. I guess maybe I was worried tonight wasn’t going to be perfect.

Max answered which was a relief. He invited me in and I felt I should apologise for last night.

‘Max I’m really sorry I spent the night. We were talking and we fell asleep. Nothing happened. I would never betray your trust in me after you invited me into your home’

‘I know’ he said looking me in the eyes. ‘It can’t happen again though. If you and Beth get serious when you come back I can smooth things over with Jessica but you have to play by the rules ok?’

‘Of course. I will do whatever it takes to be with her’ he smiled.

‘Hey’ I looked up and there she was. She looked even more beautiful every time I saw her. I didn’t know how that was possible. She was wearing a deep blue dress that came just above her knees. It had one shoulder strap. Her hair was loosely curled and hanging over her shoulders. She didn’t have much make up on but she didn’t need it. She had heals on that matched the dress and she held a black bag.

‘Wow’ was all I could say as she got to me.

‘You don’t look too bad yourself’ she said smiling. I leaned forward and kissed her once on the side of her mouth.

‘Back by eleven’ Max said smiling.

We didn’t speak much on the way to the restaurant which was fine with me. I liked that we didn’t have to fill the silence, that we were that comfortable with each other.

Once we had ordered we started to talk more.

‘You look amazing tonight’ I told her. She blushed.

‘Thanks. Brooke did my hair. She left just before you got there’

‘How was Jessica?’

She shrugged ‘she apologized for going off on one. She said Max told her he had invited you but she wasn’t happy about us. I said it didn’t matter what she thought of you’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah obviously. I like you, you like me so she can’t stop us’

‘Well that’s good to know’ I said smiling

‘When you come back we will talk about us and what we’re going to do’

‘I know what I want’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘Yeah’ our food came then so we sat again in comfortable silence while we ate.

‘You look handsome in a suit’ she said taking me by surprise. I tell her she is beautiful every day but she has never complemented me. Not that I need her to. I know she likes me.

‘Thanks’ I say blushing a bit. ‘Can I ask you a question?’

‘Sure’

‘About your dad?’

‘Oh’ she says. She doesn’t look like she wants me to but I think she will let me. ‘Ok’

‘How did he die?’

She took a deep breath. ‘Car accident’

‘I’m sorry we don’t have to talk about it’

‘It’s fine. I actually like talking to you. If I had met you two years ago I might not have needed therapy’ she said laughing. ‘I don’t want anyone else to know though. If Brooke and I stay friends then I will tell her but I don’t want people thinking I’m some delinquent’

‘I wouldn’t ever tell anyone. You can trust me’

‘I do’ wow that meant everything to me.

‘Why do you think you and Brooke won’t stay friends?’

‘When your girlfriend comes back things will change. Brooke is her best friend’

‘She’s not my girlfriend’ she smiled. She was teasing me. That was something new. ‘Brooke isn’t really like that’

‘Well we will see’.

I dropped her off at her house, kissed her good night and promised to pick her up in the morning for breakfast and to say goodbye.

Tonight had been perfect. It was my first ever real date. Me and Maddy never did anything like that.

When I got home I went to my shed to lock it up for the summer. The light was on so I went inside.

Brooke was sat on the sofa waiting.

‘Hey what’s up?’ I asked going to join her.

‘I just want to make sure you really like Beth and this isn’t a game because when Maddy gets back I’m gonna get a load of shit for been friends with her and I’m going to have to keep the peace. I need you to tell me that you’re going to stick by Beth no matter what happens’

‘Brooke do you know what I realised today?’ She shook her head ‘I realised that I’m in love with Beth’ her eyes opened really wide. I realised this while we were at dinner. ‘You can’t tell anyone ok?’

‘Why don’t you want anyone to know?’

‘I leave tomorrow and I don’t want to say it then disappear for four weeks. When I get back I will tell her’

‘Ok I won’t say a word’

‘It’s me that should be saying this to you anyway’

She looked shocked. ‘Why?’

‘Beth thinks once Maddy is back you won’t be able to be her friend anymore’

‘She really thinks that?

‘Yeah she does. You know what Maddy is going to be like; it’s why you’re here’

‘I know but still. I will talk to Beth its fine. One more thing, I think by the time you are back Charlie and I will be official so I wanna call a truce. He is your best friend’

‘Ok that sounds good to me. I’m bored of the drama’

‘Me too’ she said smiling. We shook hands and she left.

 

Saying goodbye to Beth this morning was the hardest thing I had ever done.

‘Promise you will call me, everyday’ she said

‘I promise’ I kissed her ‘I’m going to miss you so much’ I kissed her again

‘I’ll miss you too’

We had held each other for what seemed like hours.

‘She will be here when you get back’ my mum said from next to me on the plane.

I smiled ‘I know. I’ve already started counting down the days’

This was going to be the longest four weeks of my life!

Brooke

 

‘You’re going with Freddie?’ I asked. I couldn’t believe it.

‘Yeah why not?’ Beth answered.

‘What happened Beth?’

‘What do you mean?’ she said walking to put another stone around the bonfire.

‘When Jack left you sulked for days. When I finally got you out the house you told me you missed him so bad and now your less than 24 hours from seeing him and you’re going to the bonfire with Freddie’ she shrugged ‘you know Jack will be there don’t you? Looking for you’

‘He promised me he would ring me every day’

‘So what if he missed a few’

‘He missed them all. He didn’t call me once’

‘Seriously?’ that didn’t seem likely considering he told me he loved her.

‘Here’ she said throwing me her phone ‘see for yourself’ she was right. There were no texts or phone calls. ‘Also you made me join Facebook and you added him to my friends list and he hasn’t accepted. Out of sight out of mind I guess’

‘So how did you end up with Freddie?’ I was intrigued.

‘You introduced us at that party last week. He walked me home, we kissed, we went to the cinema on Wednesday and kissed again then he asked me to come to this thing with him tomorrow’

‘It’s not just a thing it’s the end of summer bonfire. It’s been happening for the last 50 years or so’

‘oooo’ she said laughing.

Beth and I had spent a lot of time together over the last four weeks. I now considered her a really good friend. Now she had opened up a bit more I knew her personality. She was really outgoing, pretty much up for anything. She was funny too; she had Charlie and me in stitches. She was a bit sarcastic too when she wasn’t in a good mood and one time when we had a rude waitress Beth put her right in her place.

‘BROOKE’ I heard from behind me. I turned around and running towards me was Maddy. I was so happy to see her. When she got to me we hugged. I saw Beth walk away to find more stones.

‘When did you get back?’

‘About an hour ago, I went to Jacks first but his dad told me he wasn’t back from camp yet’

‘Why did you go to Jacks?’

‘To see him! I’m getting him back’

‘He moved on while you were gone. Sorry’ I know that Jack will never give her the time of day again. She will be heartbroken when she finds out he is in love.

‘We will see’ she said shrugging ‘who’s that?’ she asked pointing to Beth.

‘Hey Beth come here’ I shouted. She put the stone she was holding round the fire then walked to meet us.

‘She is pretty’ Maddy said to me. Your ex thought so too I thought.

‘Hey’ Beth said when she got to us.

‘Beth this is Maddy, Maddy this is Beth’

‘Nice to meet you’ Beth said.

‘English?’ Maddy asked. Beth nodded. ‘Are you here for the summer?’

‘No I’m here to go to school’

‘I was asked to show Beth around before school starts and we ended up becoming friends’.

‘So you’re coming with us to the bonfire tomorrow?’

‘No she is going with Freddie’

‘Wow really? He is quite the catch’ Beth smiled. ‘Just us then?’

‘Actually I’m going with Charlie’ Me and Charlie had been official for two weeks now and it was amazing.

‘Really? We always go together’

‘Sorry’

‘Fine I’ll go with Jack then’ I looked at beth who was looking at the floor.

‘Let’s get this fire finished’ I said clapping my hands.

 

The next night Charlie and I were on our way to the bonfire. He had gone to visit his Grandma yesterday so I hadn’t seen him.

‘So how did it go yesterday? Did you get everything set up ok?’ he asked me.

I filled him in on my day. When I told him about Maddy wanting Jack back he laughed.

‘Did you tell her about Beth?’

‘No because Beth is going to the bonfire with Freddie’

He jumped in front of me so I had to stop walking. ‘Are you joking?’

‘I wish I was’

‘He is going to be crushed’

‘Did he contact you at all while he was away?’

‘No’ we started walking again ‘I figured he was spending all his free time talking to Beth’

‘Apparently not. He didn’t contact her once. That’s why she is so pissed. She knows this will hurt him but he hurt her’ it was a bit childish really and I told her it was when I dropped her off at home yesterday but she did not seem that bothered.

We had been at the bonfire about an hour when I saw Jack. He walked over to us smiling. He looked so happy. He was about to get a shock. He hugged Charlie and nodded at me. I smiled.

‘Hey how was it?’ Charlie asked. He was a little bit jealous of Jack getting into the camp.

‘Amazing dude so much fun. I missed everyone though. Is Beth here?’

‘Mate we gotta talk’ Charlie said

‘What?’ he looked worried

‘I don’t know how to say this’

‘Just spit it out’

I held Charlie’s hand offering him support.

‘Beth has a boyfriend’ Jacks entire face dropped.

‘No she doesn’t’ he looked like he couldn’t process the information. ‘She can’t’

‘She is behind you’

We all turned to look. She was stood near the fire with Freddie. He had his arm around her shoulders and she was laughing. She looked happy. Jackson on the other hand did not. He started to walk over to them

‘We should go with him in case he gets angry’ I said.

‘Ok but not too close’

We followed him but stood back a little. When he got to them Beth looked him straight in the face.

‘Can I talk to you a minute?’ Jack asked.

‘Ok’ Beth replied. She looked up at Freddie.

‘I’ll go get some drinks’ He said and walked away.

‘What’s going on?’ Jack asked her

‘What?’ she said shrugging her shoulders

‘Really? This is how you want it to play out?’

‘How was camp?’ she asked really sweetly.

‘Fine I guess. I missed you’

‘Really?’

‘Of course I did. More than you missed me I guess’

‘Don’t do that it’s not fair’

‘What’s not fair?’

‘You never called. I waited and waited and waited and you never called so yeah I moved on’ she was really mad. Jack took a step back. ‘Please just leave me alone’

‘Everything ok here?’ Freddie asked as he got back.

Beth grabbed his face and kissed him full on in front of all of us. I’m pretty sure my mouth fell open.

‘Fine’ Beth said smiling at him

‘Ok’ Jack said. He turned around and walked away. Beth watched him leave while I watched her. I don’t get it. You could tell by her face she didn’t want to do that. She was just as hurt.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her away from Freddie

‘What the hell?’ I said.

‘What?’ she said.

‘You know what. You didn’t have to do that with Freddie you could have got your point across without doing that’

‘Seeing him changed things’ she suddenly looked so sad I hugged her.

‘What do you mean?’

‘I thought I was over him. Nothing really happened anyway so when he didn’t call I just guessed he changed his mind. Seeing him then brought back every feeling I had for him. I forgot about the way he looked at me, like I was the only girl in the world. When he looked at me like that I wanted to jump in his arms. But he hurt me and I can’t just forgive that.’

‘What about Freddie?’

‘I like Freddie, I’m going to keep seeing him and we will see what happens’

‘Ok’

‘I’m not saying no to Jackson I’m just not saying now’

‘That’s not really fair on Freddie you know’ I said frowning

‘That’s not what I mean. I’m taking it seriously with Freddie. I promise I’m not going to hurt him’

I don’t know if I believed her or not but I was more worried about what Jack was going to do. I went back over to Charlie.

‘I’m going to make sure Jack is ok’ I said.

‘You? Really?’ he asked surprised

‘Yeah. We had a chat before he left and I think he might talk to me’

‘Ok, hurry back’ he kissed me and I left.

 

When I got to Jacks I could hear shouting coming from the den. It was him and Maddy. I listened at the door.

‘I told you to leave’ He shouted.

‘Why won’t you take me back?’ she begged. I winced, she sounded so pathetic.

‘You really wanna know?’

‘Yeah I do’

‘I met someone else and I am in love with her’

There was silence.

‘You’re in love with her?’

‘Yeah I am and you will be happy to know she very recently broke my heart’ I felt so sorry for him.

Just then the door flew open and Maddy went running out the garden. There was a loud bang that made me jump then I heard screaming coming from inside the den.

‘ARGHHHHHHHHH’ bang.

He was trashing the place.

I walked in and he looked crazy. His eyes were wide and his face was red and crunched up. I watched him for a few minutes then he sank to the floor and put his head in his hands.

‘They took my phone Brooke. As soon as I got there they took my phone. They said we didn’t need them to train. I only got it back this morning. I swear I wanted to talk to her, I missed her so much’

‘Why did you not tell her that?’ I asked sitting beside him.

‘Did you see the way she kissed him? I couldn’t say much after that’

‘Look I don’t see her and Freddie been a big thing. She is hurt and on the rebound. Let her get over it. It is you that she wants’

‘I’m going to have to see them together every day at school. I don’t know if I can handle that’

‘I know how you feel I went through the same thing. I had to watch Charlie change girlfriends every few weeks but never choose me. It was heart breaking. But it turned out ok in the end. Just grit your teeth and try to be her friend and if you need to talk to anyone’ I pointed to myself.

‘Thanks’ he said.

‘Are you coming back to the beach?’

‘Nah I better clean up, I’ll see you at school tomorrow’

‘Ok see ya later’ I was going to kick Beth’s ass for this! I can’t believe summer is over and it’s back to school tomorrow. Only two more years and school was over. If Beth and Jack didn’t sort there shit out it was going to be one long ass year

Beth

 

First day of school. I have already been sick twice. I don’t think I have ever been so nervous. Brooke was picking me up in five minutes. I was waiting on the porch getting some fresh air.

‘You feel ok? I heard you been sick this morning’ Jessica asks me.

‘Just nerves I think’ I reply. Mine and Jessica’s relationship was still strained. She didn’t like the fact that I spoke to Max before her. Max was amazing I have to say. He has accepted me straight into his family. Unlike Jessica who still seems to resent that I’m here.

‘Well good luck I’m sure you will be fine’ she says.

‘See ya later Rose good luck’ Max yells running past both of us. He is late. Rose is his nickname for me, like English Rose. He thought it was funny till I started to call him Eagle.

‘See ya Eagle’ he shook his head and got in the car. Jessica shook her head and followed him.

Brooke pulled up and I got in the car.

‘That was a cheap shot last night. I know I said it before but I saw him later and he was just a mess’ Brooke said.

‘I don’t need a guilt trip ok I feel bad enough as it is and today is my first day. I will apologize to him I just have to get through today’

‘You’ll be fine today don’t worry’

We got to school and went to the reception so I could register. Once that was all sorted it was time to begin been and American high school student.

‘Do you remember where your locker is?’ Brooke asked.

‘Yeah’ I replied.

‘Cool go to your locker and I’ll meet you back here. We have first period together’

I went to my locker and stood looking at it. I had never had a locker before. We didn’t have them at my school.

‘Don’t you know how to open it?’ said a voice I knew straight away. Jackson was opening the locker right next to mine.

‘That’s your locker?’ I asked

‘Yeah. Alphabetical order. Connelly, Cooper’ he said pointing to himself then me. ‘Why are you staring at it?’

‘I’ve never had one before’

‘Take out your books for the first two periods and anything else you will need. Come back at morning break to switch and do the same at lunch. Take or leave your bag that’s optional and in winter if you’re moving buildings take your coat. It’s easy’

‘Ok. Thanks’

‘Anytime’ he put his things in his locker, closed the door and started to walk away.

‘Jackson’ I said. He turned to face me but didn’t say anything. People were staring. ‘I’m really sorry about last night. I was mad at you but you didn’t deserve that. I should have just talked to you properly. This thing with Freddie….’

He put his hand on my face stopping me dead. He looked right into my eyes deep into my soul.

‘I’ll wait’ he said. He kissed the side of my mouth and walked off.

People were really staring now. I closed my locker and went to meet Brooke.

 

The rest of the day went well. I had to make a few embarrassing speeches saying who I was and where I came from but other than that most people ignored me. The last lesson of the day was biology. I walked in and sat at an empty table. Jackson came in just after and sat beside me. Straight after him Freddie came in. Jackson had done this on purpose. I glared at him.

‘What?’ he asked all innocent.

I shook my head and turned to face Freddie. ‘Sorry’ I mouthed but he just winked at me. He told me last night he didn’t feel threatened by Jackson.

The teacher came and addressed the class.

‘Ok class settle down, I’m Mr Hardaker. These seats you are in are now you permanent seats for the whole year so get to know the person beside you because they are now you lab partner till July’

He carried on talking about what we could expect from the class throughout the year but I wasn’t really listening. I had to spend every class sat with Jackson. I should have asked Freddie’s friend to switch with me before the teacher came in.

‘Did you do that on purpose?’ I whispered.

He smirked ‘I figured when you finally chose me over Freddie you wouldn’t want to sit with him for the rest of the year’

‘You’re so thoughtful’

‘You’ll thank me later’ he was so sure of himself. I hate that about him. I kinda love it about him too though.

After class I waited for Freddie. He was walking me home. Jackson hung around too. I don’t know what he was waiting for.

Freddie came up to me and put his arm around my shoulder and kissed my forehead.

‘Are you ready?’ He asked.

‘Yep’ I said

‘Bye’ Jackson said.

I scowled at him but Freddie was as nice as ever ‘see you Jack’

‘He is so smug’ I say after we have left the classroom.

‘Don’t worry about him. He wants someone who he can’t have. I bet it’s really winding him up’

‘Now I have to sit with him all year too’

‘He practically barged me out the way to get to that seat first. What was he whispering to you?’

‘Pig! Nothing really’

He raised his eyebrows

‘He just said that in a few weeks I would be thanking him because we would break up and I wouldn’t want to sit with you all year’

‘You’re right he is smug’

 

The next few weeks went really fast, I had settled in nicely at school. Brooke and I were becoming great friends. I loved having her to talk to. Her and Charlie were great too. They had a great relationship. I liked Charlie a lot but he always wanted to talk about Jackson. Freddie and I were doing ok too. I think he was hoping maybe we would have gotten further along in our fooling around moments then we had but I just didn’t feel ready. When Jackson and I slept together it felt right straight away. Like I had known him forever but with Freddie I need time.

I know how much Jackson misses me. Every Biology lesson he tries to do something. He will brush against me or lean over to get something and he has to touch me. When I pass him something he always brushes my fingers.

The worst part about all of that is when he touches me I get shivers all over my body and I want him to take me right then and there on the lab table in front of everyone. Including my actual boyfriend.

I was considering ending things with Freddie just because I felt guilty every time I was with Jackson and I wasn’t doing anything wrong. We had a presentation in English to do last week and I got paired with Jackson so I went to his house to work on it. We had such a laugh. It reminded me why I had fallen for him in the first place. Then I spent the next three days trying to be the best girlfriend ever because I felt guilty. Brooke said I should decide what I want and go for it. Leading them both on was not fair.

All over the school were banners for Homecoming. Now from what Brooke had told me there would be a parade in the morning with the marching band, a football game in the afternoon which Jackson would play in and then a dance in the evening.

I was going to the game but not the rest.

I was discussing it with Freddie before biology started.

‘You’re my girlfriend we have to go together’ he said. He was getting angry.

‘But I don’t want to go’ I said ‘can’t you just accept that’

‘I bet you would go if Jack asked you’

‘Did you actually just say that to me?’

‘Are you ok?’ it was Jackson. Of course he was there.

‘Yeah fine’ I said sitting on my chair.

I didn’t speak for the rest of the lesson I just did my work. I was supposed to walk home with Freddie but I couldn’t face it.

‘Do you mind taking me home?’ I asked Jackson.

He looked surprised. ‘Of course not. Let’s go’ I didn’t look back at Freddie.

‘What were you fighting about?’ Jackson asked when we had set off from the school. I thought he would look happy or smug that we were fighting but he looked genuinely concerned.

‘It’s nothing, it’s stupid really’

‘Ok I can see you don’t want to talk about. Are you coming to the homecoming game?’

‘Yeah I wouldn’t miss it’

‘Good’ he sighed. He looked relieved.

‘I’m going with Max, he can’t wait’

‘I miss Max he is a good guy’

‘He is’ I smile. We pull up at my house. ‘Thanks for the lift’

‘Anytime’ he smiles at me. I go to get out the car. ‘Beth’ he says.

‘Yeah?’ I say looking back at him.

‘I’m here for you. No matter what you can always talk to me ok?’

‘Ok’ I said. I smiled and got out of the car.

I walked up the driveway and I saw Max sitting on the swing.

‘Hey’ he said. ‘Why did Jack bring you home?’

‘I had a fight with Freddie’

‘About what?’

‘He is pissed because I won’t go to the dance with him’

‘Ah’

‘It’s just not my thing’ I sigh and sit down. ‘He said I would go if Jackson asked me’

‘Would you?’

‘No’ I was telling the truth too. I couldn’t think of anything worse.

‘I know it’s your choice Rose and you have to make these decisions yourself but Freddie just doesn’t look at you like Jack does’

‘I have homework’ I say getting up and going in the house. I know how much Max likes Jackson but it wasn’t fair for him to do that.

 

It was the weekend and Brooke had planned a mini bonfire and BBQ on the beach. It wasn’t on the scale of the last bonfire we had. There were only about 20 people there. Freddie had picked me up in his mum’s car. He was still mad but trying not to show it in front of other people.

We were sat in a circle chatting when Charlie said. ‘So Beth once school is over in a few years what are you going to do? Stay here or go home?’

Brooke, Freddie and Jackson all looked at me.

‘I don’t know yet, it’s a while before I make that decision’

‘Is there anything that would make you stay?’ Brooke asked. For the briefest of seconds I looked at Jackson. It was involuntary and unexpected.

‘I guess if I got in to a good college then I might consider staying’ I looked at Brooke and her eyes were wide. She noticed. I really hoped that Freddie didn’t.

About 20 minutes later Brooke managed to get me on my own

‘What the hell?’ She said

‘I don’t even know what to say’ I said ‘I don’t know why that happened’

‘Really? It’s because your so in love with him. I wish you would just admit it already’

‘Do you think Freddie saw?’

‘I don’t know but it’s about time you decided what you want’

‘Jackson hurt me’

‘Yeah and you hurt him right back’

‘I’m going to walk for a little bit. Will you tell Freddie I won’t be long?’

‘Sure’

I set off walking knowing I had a huge decision to make. When I got far enough away that they were just little pin pricks in the distance. I sat down and sighed.

How had my life become all about boys. Maybe I just needed to be single for a while.

Jackson

 

I heard Brooke tell Freddie that Beth had gone for a walk and would be back soon so while nobody was looking I sneaked off to find her. I found her about a mile down the beach sat looking out at the waves. Her hair was blowing to the side and she was rubbing her arms in the cool breeze. I took off my jacket and placed it over her shoulder. She didn’t look up at me but she knew it was me. I sat down beside her.

‘You looked at me’ I said.

‘What?’ she said still looking out at the ocean.

‘When Charlie said will anything keep you from leaving, you looked at me’

‘Saw that huh’

‘Yeah kinda. I’m a bit confused Beth’

‘Me too Jackson, me too’

We sat in silence for what seemed like ages. Finally she turned to me.

‘I have some things I need to figure out’

‘Ok’ I said.

‘I really need you to leave me alone while I do that’

‘Why? You know I can’t stay away from you’ this could not be happening.

‘Jackson. It’s not the end but I have a boyfriend and I clearly still feel things for you. It wasn’t Freddie that I looked at. You need to give me space. Please’

‘I can try’ I stood up. She went to give me back my jacket. ‘Keep it’ I said. I turned to walk away.

‘Beth’ she looked up at me. ‘Just so you know, the time I spent with you before I left was the happiest I think I have ever been. When we made love I felt like I had found my other half. I didn’t even know it was missing till that moment. Every day that I see you with him, kissing him, holding his hand, laughing, it breaks my heart a little bit. There’s not much of it left. I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I’ll give you the space that you want but just so you have all the information please note that I am so in love with you it makes me ache. That every morning I wake up you are the first thing I think about. You are all that matters to me. I just wanted you to know that.’ Then I turned and walked off.

I walked back up the beach feeling deflated. I don’t think I could stay away from her but if that’s what she needed I was going to have to try.

She came back about half an hour later. Freddie pulled her off to one side. It looked like he was yelling at her. I saw him point to the jacket. She started shouting back. I couldn’t hear what she was saying but there were a lot of hand gestures. She walked away from him back to the fire and sat beside Brooke. She didn’t look at me.

I called it a night at 10. I have a big week ahead of me. I have an away game tomorrow and the homecoming game on Friday.

As I got to my car Freddie caught up with me.

‘Leave her alone’ he says. His face is really close to mine.

‘Firstly step back’ he does. ‘Good. Now secondly I have not nor will I ask her to pick me. I want her to come to me by herself. We are friends and that’s it. In fact she asked me to stay away from her so that’s what I’m going to do’

‘She said that?’

‘Yeah’

‘Oh’

‘Don’t ever come at me like this again’ I get in my car and roll down the window. ‘Go back to her’

‘I’m sorry, I just really like her’

‘I love her’ I leave then leaving him stood there.

 

This was the longest week of my life. I was stood with Charlie at his locker. I couldn’t go to mine yet as Beth was stood there. I had managed to stay away from her all week. The only time we spoke was in biology and that was when we had to work together.

It doesn’t mean I wasn’t watching though. I had noticed that she was hardly with Freddie at all this week. I don’t know what that means and I can’t ask her but it made me feel a little better.

‘You’re really not going?’ Charlie asked me.

‘What’s the point?’

‘It will be fun. Come on I don’t want to go either’

‘So why are you?’

‘Brooke’ that was all he had to say. Brooke loved all these social events.

‘If I can’t go to the dance with Beth then I’m not going. Anyway I promised her, no girls while she was in my life. I’m not breaking that promise’

‘Ok’ he said ‘but I think you should come’

I just shook my head. Beth was gone so I walked to my locker. As I opened it she came back in a rush.

‘Hey’ I said

‘Hey’ she said smiling ‘I forgot a book’

I smiled back then carried on what I was doing.

‘Good luck today’

‘Thanks’ I said ‘are you and Max still coming?’

‘Definitely’

I nodded and she walked away.

 

The game went smoothly and we won. I had noticed Beth in the crowd straight away. Every time I looked she was cheering which made me happy. After the game everyone was going home to get ready for the dance. I got showered and changed at school then slowly made my way home.

When I got to Beth’s house I stopped. There was no way she was going to that dance. It was not her thing at all. That’s probably what her and Freddie had been arguing about.

I stayed like that, sat in my car watching the house for forty five minutes. This was pathetic. Just go knock on the door. Ask her if she wants to go get ice cream.

She told me to stay away though. But she was cheering at my game. I was so confused.

I got out and walked up the drive and knocked on the door. Max answered.

‘Thank god I thought you were going to sit out there all night’ Max said laughing. I must have gone bright red. ‘She’s in her room’

‘Thanks’ I said heading for the stairs

Jessica came out the kitchen and was just about to say something when Max grabbed her and pulled her back.

I knocked on Beth’s door and poked my head round. She was on the bed reading with some music playing in the background. She had my jacket on. I also noticed that Bert the bear was on her bed.

‘Can I come in?’ I asked when she looked at me. She was surprised.

‘Sure’ she said pointing to the bed. ‘Good game today’ she said smiling.

‘Thanks. Did you have any idea what was going on?’

‘None at all but it was exciting. Plus Max kind of explained a few things’ I smiled. ‘Why are you not at the dance?’

‘I told you I wouldn’t date anyone else. That includes a date for the dance’

‘So you came here on the off chance?’

‘No’ I said very matter of fact. ‘I knew you wouldn’t be there’

‘You did?’

‘Yeah. It’s not really you is it?’ she shook her head a bit surprised I think. ‘So I thought I would see if you were hungry and wanted to get a burger’ I had changed my mind from ice cream. If she came out with me for food we would be together longer.

‘I have to ask you something first’

‘Shoot’

‘That speech you made last weekend on the beach’ I nodded a little bit embarrassed. ‘You meant it?’

‘Every word’

‘You love me?’

‘I do, more than anything’

‘Why didn’t you call me Jackson’ a tear rolled down her cheek.

I sighed. ‘I have been waiting so long for you to ask me that question’

‘I have asked before’

‘No you haven’t. You made statements. You didn’t call me, I hate you, you didn’t call me’

‘I never said I hated you’

‘It felt like you did’

‘So why didn’t you call me’

‘They took my phone; as soon as my mum left they took all our phones. They said we didn’t need them to train’

‘So you couldn’t phone me’

‘I wanted to, I missed you so much. I nearly left at one point because I needed to speak to you so badly. The only number I knew was my house number. We were allowed one call on a Sunday. Beth’ she looked at me. ‘I told my mum to tell Jessica all this so you would know and she swears that she told her’

‘What!’

‘I’m sorry’

She jumped up and headed for the door. ‘Come on lets go have dinner’

We went down the stairs and into the kitchen where Jessica and Max were making food.

‘I’m going out’ Beth said. She sounded mad

‘Dinner is almost ready Beth love so if you want to say goodbye to your friend’ I had to bite my lip to stop from laughing out loud.

‘I am not eating dinner with you’

‘Beth’ Max scowled at her.

‘She knew Max, all this time she knew why Jackson didn’t call me’

‘What? You knew?’ Max said to her

‘No’ she said lying.

‘So is Tammy a liar then?’

‘What?’

‘Explain’ max said.

‘They took my phone the second camp started they took it. The only number I knew was my house number. I was allowed one call a week. I phoned my mum and asked her to get a message to Beth. When I got back and Beth was so mad at me and guessed she didn’t get my message. I asked my mum if she had forgot and she said she definitely told Jessica’

‘You knew how gutted I was and you had the answer the whole time. You could have stopped all of this’

‘All of what?’ Jessica said

‘You stopped us been together. You got what you wanted no matter how much it hurt the rest of us. You’re such a bitch!!’

‘Elizab….’

‘I’m going out’ Beth said interrupting her. I followed her to the door. When she got there she stopped and turned to face me. She grabbed my face. I thought she was going to kiss me.

‘I am so sorry for what I have put you through’ she wrapped her hand around my waist and I hugged her.

‘I guess we have to talk’ I said to her.

‘I guess we do’ she said back.

Charlie

 

‘So what happened?’ I asked Jack. We were sat at our usual lunch table. I had not heard from him all weekend and when I asked him why he said he had spent all weekend with Beth talking about their future.

‘Nothing. She still has a boyfriend’

‘So what did you discuss’ I didn’t understand ‘is she breaking up with him?’

‘Ok I’m going to tell you something but you can’t tell anyone. Even Brooke’

‘Ok’

‘We didn’t spend a lot of time talking, if you get what I mean’

‘Wow that’s low even for you’

‘What?’ he said shocked

‘You knew she had a boyfriend and you had sex with her anyway’

‘We didn’t have sex. I swear we only had sex that one time. Well twice but one night. We just made out a lot’ he sighed. ‘I feel terrible’

‘You should’ I got up ‘He doesn’t deserve that’

He got up too ‘I know and were not going to do anything again till she has broken up with him’

‘When will that be?’

‘On Saturday. He is away at some scholastic thing this week and she doesn’t want to do it over the phone’ he stood in front of me ‘are we ok?’

‘Yeah were cool mate’ I said shaking his hand.’ I just feel bad for the guy. He is a really nice guy’

We started walking again.

‘I’m not a jerk Charlie. When she leaves him on Saturday I’m not going to start kissing her in the corridors on Monday. I wouldn’t do that. Plus Beth and I can’t figure anything out till she has spoken to Freddie.’

‘Ok as long are you’re not a douche about it’

‘I swear’ he said and walked off to his locker.

‘Can you believe those two’ Brookes voice came from behind me. I turned around to face her and kissed her cheek. ‘Look at them’ I did. They were at their lockers laughing.

‘Did Beth tell you?’

‘Yeah. I don’t approve’

‘Me neither but it was always going to happen’

‘She shouldn’t have started dating Freddie it’s not fair’

‘I know baby. Are you still coming to mine tonight?’

‘Yeah course I am. I’ll see you at seven’ she kissed my cheek then walked off. As I watched her leave I thought about what I wanted to happen tonight. We had been taking things slow so we got it right but it had been two and a half month now and I wanted her so much. My mum was working till late so I was hoping tonight was the night.

 

When Brooke knocked on the door I suddenly felt very nervous. After saying hello I led her up to my room. I was hoping she wouldn’t say anything as we normally hang out in the TV room.

When we got to my room she sat on my bed and turned on the TV.

‘Did you have a good day?’ she asked looking at me.

‘It was ok’ I reply sitting on the bed. ‘I’m disappointed in Jack’

‘Me too and Beth. They have handled this horribly. It was her mum, she knew all along that Jack couldn’t phone and didn’t tell Beth. I think now Beth knows this she knows what she did to Jack by going out with Freddie was wrong. But its Freddie who is going to get hurt.’

‘Wow her mum is horrible’

‘Yeah she is’

‘I don’t want to talk about them anyway’ I pulled her legs down so she was lying on the bed and lay on top of her. We started kissing and it was good. I love kissing Brooke. I put my hand up her shirt and she pushes it back down. I do it again but again she pushes it away.

‘Charlie stop’ she says pushing me away.

‘What?’

‘Were not having sex’ she says standing up and putting her coat on.

‘Don’t just leave without talking to me about this. Us not communicating is why we lost a whole year together’

‘Fine’ she sat on the end of the bed away from me.

‘Why don’t you want to have sex?’ I asked. Better to get straight to the point.

‘It’s not that I don’t want to I just don’t want us to rush anything and ruin it’

‘But if we have sex – make love – it will bring us closer, more intimate’ I say which I do believe.

‘I love you’ my mouth falls open. I don’t know what to say. I stare at her for what feels like forever.

‘Wow, thanks’ is all I can manage and as soon as it leaves my mouth I wish it hadn’t.

‘Thanks? Really? That’s why we are not having sex’ she gets up to leave.

‘Don’t go please I’m sorry. I don’t get why ok? You’re not a virgin’

She looked really mad ‘I wanted you to be my first. I fantasised about that moment for years then you fucked me off and instead of it been with you all nice and safe in here it was in the back room of some club with a guy whose name I can’t remember because I was off my face forgetting you’ she took a deep breath. ‘I don’t blame you for that; we should have talked stuff out a lot earlier. But I have never made love. It has always been just sex and I wanted it to be different for us. I wanted you to be the first person I made love to. I have been in love with you for years but I am not going to have ‘sex’ with someone who doesn’t love me. Not anymore’

‘I love you’ I say before I can stop myself. I don’t even know if it’s true but I have never wanted her as much.

‘You are such a cock’ she stormed out of my room and was downstairs and out the door before I knew what was happening. I stood at the door and watched her drive off. I had literally no idea where that had gone wrong. I just wanted to make love to my girlfriend.

Brooke

 

‘Then he said ‘I love you’ so I called him a cock and left’ I was pacing my room. Maddy and Beth were sat on my bed watching me.

‘Your well within your right to say no to him’ Maddy said ‘but I don’t know why you would’

‘Because I don’t want to mess this up. I wanna make sure he wants me as much as I want him’

‘Beth come on help me out here, you’ve had sex with Freddie right?’

‘No’ Beth says looking surprised ‘Brooke if you don’t want to sleep with Charlie then don’t’

‘Why haven’t you slept with Freddie, he is hot’ Maddie asks.

‘I don’t even know him really’

‘Didn’t stop you sleeping with Jack’ Beth’s eyes opened really wide and I look at her begging her to forgive me with just a look

‘What? My Jack?’ Maddie screamed.

‘Calm down’ Beth said

‘You’re the girl that he loves? Who broke his heart? The reason he won’t take me back?’

‘I’m sorry ok? I didn’t know we would become friends. That’s why I didn’t tell you’ Beth said

‘And you knew?’ Maddie said looking at me.

‘You were in Florida and when you got back it was over so what was the point in hurting you’

‘I am no longer friends with either of you’ she shouted and stormed.

‘Wow, thanks for that’ Beth said.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t even think.’ I sighed ‘can we get back to my problems now?’

‘Yeah sorry. Look if Charlie doesn’t respect you enough to honour your wishes then he is not worth it. I know he is the love of your life but you want to wait and he should respect that. I wish Jackson and I had waited.’

‘You do?’

‘Yeah I’m like you. I haven’t slept with anyone I have been in love with. My first time I was 15 and wasted in the back of the 25 year olds car. I didn’t even remember most of it the next day. I was a mess back then. My dad had just died and I drank anything and took anything that was handed to me. I wish I had waited’

‘Do you wish Jack was your first?’

‘No. I had a boyfriend back home called Preston’ she had never talked about her life at home before not really. I didn’t even know her dad had died. She only told me Jessica was her mum just before school started. ‘Preston loved me, like really loved me. I was dating him when I slept with the other guy. I don’t know if Preston knew or not but I know he deserved better. I tried to break up with him a few times but he wouldn’t let me. I wish I had loved him. I just didn’t feel I would ever love anyone again after my dad.’

‘You never told me about your dad’

‘I only told Jackson. I didn’t want sympathy or people knowing about my past’

‘I’m glad you told me’ I felt closer to her.

‘I’m sorry me and Jackson have caused a problem for you and Maddie’

‘Don’t worry she will come round. What are you and Jack going to do?’ I was genuinely concerned this was going to blow up in her face.

‘Nothing until I have spoken to Freddie. I know you think I’m been harsh but we haven’t been right since I wouldn’t go to the dance’ she sighed. ‘After that Jackson and I will talk. We will take it slow’

‘You have to be careful with Jack. He has changed a lot since he met you and nobody is as surprised as me that he kept his promise about no other girls but I saw how he treated Maddison and I don’t want that to be you’

‘I completely trust him’

‘Ok. So do I then. I will rip off his balls if he hurts you though’

‘You will have to get in line.’ We both laugh.

‘What you going to do about Charlie?’

‘I think I’m going to go talk to him’

‘I think you should’

 

I got to Charlie’s house and went straight in. I knew his Mum was at work and they always kept a spare key in the plant pot. I had rehearsed my speech all the way over and I was ready to sort it out. It was late now but I wasn’t leaving till it was sorted.

I opened the bedroom door and walked in. When I looked at his bed I nearly fainted. I had to hold on to the door frame. He was asleep and so was Maddie.

Neither had clothes on. I felt my heart break right there. I took off the necklace that he bought me on our first official date and put it on his bedside table and left.

I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I couldn’t go to Beth’s it was too late and Paige would be in bed and I needed to scream and shout.

There was only one other place. Jacksons.

The lights were on his den which was good. As I got close I couldn’t stop the tears. I started to sob. I couldn’t catch my breath.

I walked in and he was sat on the bed reading a book. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so devastated. He jumped up when he saw me and ran over. I collapsed on the floor. He put his arms around me and we sat like that for I don’t know how long.

After a while I got up and wiped my face. Jackson went to get me some water from the house. I looked at the book he was reading. A Walk To Remember by Nicholas Sparks.

When Jackson came back in I held it up ‘Why are you reading this?’

He went red. ‘It’s Beth’s favourite book’

‘So you’re reading it’

‘Yeah. I want to know everything about her’

‘That’s sweet. You really love her’

‘Yeah I do’

‘So you’re not going to have sex with her best friend?’ I asked.

He looked shocked. ‘No never. Anyway you’re her best friend and we don’t even like each other’ he smiled. He was trying to cheer me up but it didn’t work. ‘Why do you ask that?’

‘Charlie had sex with Maddie’

He didn’t say anything for a while. ‘No’ he said laughing. When I didn’t laugh he stopped. ‘How do you know?’

‘We had a fight. After talking to Beth she convinced me to go speak to him and sort things out. When I got to his house they were both in bed, asleep, naked’

‘He wouldn’t do that to you. He would do that to me. There is a code. She’s my ex you don’t do that’

‘There’s a girl code too and she just smashed it to smithereens’ he looked hurt. ‘I wish I was wrong. I love him so much. You were devastated when Beth got with Freddie and you weren’t even dating so imagine how hard this is for me’

He walked over to me and gave me a hug. ‘Do you want to stay here?’

‘No it’s freezing in here’

‘You can stay up in my room and I’ll stay in here if you want?’

‘Are you sure?’

‘JACK OPEN THE DOOR’ it was Charlie

‘I don’t want to see him’ I said panicking

‘Under the bed’ Jack whispered.

I crawled under and listened.

Jackson opened the door and I heard Charlie come in.

‘Who were you talking to?’ he asked

‘I was on the phone to Beth’

‘Have you seen Brooke?’ he said really upset. I thought I was going to cry.

‘After everything you said to me this afternoon about Beth and Freddie you go and do that. I didn’t even cheat and we only kissed’

‘It was a mistake’

‘You broke the code and Brooke’s heart. I think you should leave’

‘Jack please I’m so sorry. We had a fight and I got wasted and Maddie came over, I don’t even know why. When I woke up the necklace I gave Brooke was on my bed stand. She saw’

‘I know. She’s devastated. Does Maddie know that Brooke knows?’ Jackson asked.

‘She had gone before I saw the necklace. Mate I’m so sorry I never meant to hurt anyone’

‘I’m not your mate’ there was silence for a long time then the door closed. ‘He’s gone’ Jackson said. I climbed out and looked at him.

‘You were a bit harsh’ I said ‘I know he deserves it but he is your best friend’

‘We will be fine but he has to know what he did is seriously fucked up’ he sighed. ‘Go up to the house and get in my bed. I’ll sleep in here’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah I’m gonna phone Beth before bed. Am I ok to tell her or do you want to?’

‘No tell her its fine’ I kissed his cheek ‘thank you’

I left the den and went up to Jacks room. Once I was in bed I cried. I cried thinking about how long it had taken us to get to where we were. I cried about all those lost moments while we were both been stupid and not admitting our feeling for each other. I cried remembering all the good time we had shared in the last two and a half years and I cried because he did the one thing he promised me he would not do. Cheat! I don’t know how I was going to deal with all this tomorrow at school but I had to decide if I could forgive him or not. Right now I’m thinking not!!

Beth

 

Damn im late. How did I not hear my alarm this morning? I don’t think I have ever got ready so fast. I really hope Max hasn’t left yet and can take me to school. When I get to the bottom of the stairs Freddie is waiting.

‘Hey sleepy head’ he says pulling me into his arms. ‘I’ve missed you’

‘What are you doing here?’

‘We won. Easy too. Nobody could overtake us so the competition finished a few days early’

‘Wow congrats’ he bent in to kiss me and I moved so he got my cheek.

‘What’s the matter?’ he looked worried. I felt incredibly guilty but now was not the time.

‘Nothing. We’re going to be late come on.’ We left the house and got in the car.

‘I tried to phone you this morning but your cell is off’

‘What?’ I said looking in my bag for my phone. ‘I didn’t look at it this morning I just threw it in here.’ When I found it I turned in on. No wonder my alarm didn’t go off. ‘Jackson phoned me. Three times last night and twice this morning’

‘Why is he phoning you? Freddie asked clearly mad.

‘I dunno’ I tried to say casually ‘I didn’t answer it’

When we entered the school Freddie came with me to my locker which he had never done before. I knew it was in case Jackson was there. I was relieved to find that he wasn’t. I got all the things I needed and then we started to walk to class.

‘Beth’ someone shouted. I knew who it was so I pretended I didn’t hear it. Jackson grabbed my shoulder. ‘Beth have you seen Brooke?’ He looked worried.

‘There are hundreds of other people you could have asked. Why her?’

‘Shush ok this is important’

‘Guys come on stop it’

‘Beth we have to find Brooke’ I was a bit worried now

‘What’s going on?’

‘Good morning everyone’ came Brookes voice over the school tanoy system

‘Shit’ Jackson said beside me

‘What’s going on?’ I asked as Brooke carried on.

‘Just a few announcements to make this morning’ everyone was silent. I looked to my left and Maddie was throwing daggers at me because I was stood next to Jackson.

‘This is not good’ Jackson whispered to me. He had grabbed my hand when we first heard Brooke and he was still holding it.

‘Firstly the school scholastic team smashed it this week and won so easily they came back two days early. Well done guys’ there was a big cheer and lots of clapping. I pulled my hand out of Jacksons so I could join in. ‘Secondly after many petitions and a lot of talks with the principle that I made personally, they are finally going to start serving healthier options in the cafeteria’ and even bigger cheer happened this time. I couldn’t help but smile.

‘That has been going on for years’ Jackson whispered to me.

‘And thirdly I would just like to let you all know that my boyfriend Charlie Stubbs is a lying, cheating man whore who had sex with my so called best friend Maddison Tyler who is also a lying cheating whore’ silence!!! Nobody knew what to do. I looked at Maddie and she was as shocked as anyone. ‘Thanks for listening.’

I walked over to Maddie with Freddie and Jackson at either side of me.

‘Did you really have sex with Charlie?’ I asked her

‘How did she know?’ She asked. I was just about to say I didn’t know when Jackson spoke

‘She went back to his house after speaking to Beth. She wanted to make things right after the fight they had. She saw you two when she got there. She came to my house after because she didn’t know where else to go.’

‘Why didn’t she come to me?’ I asked.

‘It was late and she didn’t want to wake up Paige. She was pretty distraught. I tried to phone you’

‘I can’t believe you did that to her. She is your best friend’ I said facing Maddie again.

‘Like you’re such a saint’ she snapped at me.

‘This is not about me. I didn’t screw my best friend’s boyfriend’

‘No but your screwed mine’

‘Ok number 1, that was months ago. Number 2 he wasn’t your boyfriend and number 3 I didn’t even know you then’

‘You had sex with Jack?’

‘Freddie now is really not the time’

‘Were we dating?’

‘Of course you weren’t she isn’t like that’ Jackson said.

‘Oh my god’ I said. ‘Jackson go to class ill find Brooke. Freddie you too. We will talk later. As for you’ I say turning to look at Maddie ‘you should maybe stay out of Brookes way today’

‘Don’t tell me what to do’ she said. She came right up to my face. Our noses were nearly touching.

‘Seriously step back’

‘Ooooo I’m not scared of you’

‘You should be’ she started laughing and went to grab me. I grabbed her first by the throat and pushed her as far as I could so she was up against the lockers behind her. ‘You do not want to mess with me bitch’ I growled at her. Next thing I knew someone had grabbed me round the waist and was pulling me away. I tried to protest but they had a good hold on me. They took me into the nearest room.

When they put me down I spun around. It was Jackson he was locking the door. We were in the boys toilets.

‘Why did you do that?’ I asked

‘You would have been expelled. There is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to violence’

‘She could tell the principle anyway’

‘She won’t she will be too embarrassed’ he walked over to me and pulled me into his arms. It felt good to be there but I pulled away.

‘Freddie is right outside’ he backed away from me.

‘I can’t do this anymore Beth’

‘Do what?’ my heart leapt into my mouth.

‘This’ he said pointing to me then himself ‘I want all or nothing’ he walked towards the door and put his hand on the lock. ‘I love you’ he said not looking at me ‘if you’re going to stay with Freddie then fine but if it’s me you want then dump him but please just make a decision and soon’ he unlocked the door and left.

I left straight after so nobody saw me in there on my own.

I was going to be late for my first lesson. I glanced out of the main entrance as I passed it and noticed Freddie sat on the quad by himself. Since I was already late for class I walked out the doors towards him. I sat opposite him on the bench. He didn’t look at me.

‘Hi’ I said

‘I saw you’ I didn’t say anything because I didn’t know what he was referring to. He looked me in the eyes. ‘At the beach when you were asked what would make you stay here you looked at him. You both disappeared after and when you came back you were wearing his jacket’

‘I was cold’

‘When we face timed on Sunday night you were wearing it’

Shit was I? I can’t even remember. I didn’t say anything.

‘When Brooke started speaking today you held his hand’ he looked at the table. ‘How long had you known him when you slept with him?’

‘A couple of weeks’ I decided to answer honestly

‘I’m not saying that I wanted us to have sex right away but you wouldn’t even let me touch you and we have been dating for like 10 weeks’ I didn’t know what to say. ‘I can’t be with someone who is clearly in love with someone else’

‘I’m not in love with him’ I wasn’t. I had strong feelings for him but that’s all.

‘Well you can keep telling yourself that but I’m out’ he stood up and started to walk away.

‘Freddie’ I said standing up. He turned around ‘I’m really sorry’

‘Me too. I thought we were going to be great together’

‘I never wanted you to get hurt’

‘Bit late for that’ he turned and walked back in the school.

I wasn’t going back in there today. I started to walk to the school gates. I got out my phone to text Brooke and see if she wanted to ditch. A car pulled up beside me as I pressed send.

‘Wanna ditch?’ Brooke said through her window.

‘Great minds’ I said smiling as her phone went off receiving my text.

‘I was just about to leave when I saw you talking to Freddie. Did you dump him?’

‘No’ I said. She shook her head. ‘He dumped me’

‘Wow. I didn’t think he had it in him. Wanna go get smashed’

‘Why not’

 

Brooke had gotten us fake IDs a few weeks ago and she wanted to try them out. I was surprised when they actually worked.

‘How you doing?’ I asked when we sat down.

She shrugged he shoulders.

‘I’m sorry I wasn’t there last night’

‘Don’t worry. Besides you had trouble with your two boyfriends’ she smiled which was good to see.

‘Ouch’ I said laughing.

‘What you gonna do now Freddie is out of the picture?’

This time I shrugged my shoulders.

‘You’re a fool if you don’t at least try with Jackson’

‘I know that Jackson will love me unconditionally for ever if I let him’

‘So what’s the problem?’

‘I don’t know. I don’t understand what is holding me back from him. The annoying thing is how badly I want him. I mean one look from him and I just melt.’

‘Give him a chance. I think you will surprise yourself at how easily you love him’

‘Maybe. We’ll see huh?’

She looked really sad again.

‘Are you going to be ok?’

‘Eventually I guess but right now I just feel like I can’t breathe’ her voice broke at the end and she started to cry. I moved to the chair next to her and hugged her. ‘I don’t understand how they could both do this to me. I loved them both so much. How could they hurt me like this? How? Why? I just don’t understand’ she cried for a long time.

Jackson

 

Knowing Beth had changed me. It was Friday night and I was in my room reading. I had never read a book in my life and I was on my second one in as many weeks. They book I finished last night made me think a lot about Beth and me. I think that’s why I gave her that stupid all or nothing speech.

There was a knock at my door and Charlie put his head round.

‘Do you hate me?’ he asked.

‘No’ I said and he smiled. ‘I don’t like you right now though’ his smiled disappeared.

‘I know I fucked up’

‘Fucked up? Mate you dropped a bomb. You will never be able to pick up all the pieces of this mess you’ve made’

‘I know and I’ve lost the only person I have ever loved’ he shook his head. ‘Do you think she will ever forgive me?’

‘Right now no. But in the future once she has calmed down and you have done some serious grovelling then who knows’

‘I think I should leave her alone for a few days though right?’

‘I would’

‘Ok’ he said getting up and walking round the room. ‘Things are looking up for you though’

‘How’s that?’ I asked

‘Beth dumped Freddie’

‘What? When?’ how did I not know this?

‘Today at some point. After she did it she and Brooke ditched.

‘I didn’t even know. Everyone has just been talking about you’

‘I guess when I was in the room they talked about Beth’ he shook his head. ‘There is even a rumour that now Brooke is single that Beth dumped Freddie so she could be with Brooke’

I actually laughed out loud. ‘That’s funny’

Just then my phone rang. It was Beth

‘Hi’ I said feeling a bit nervous. Was she phoning so we could talk?

‘I need a favour’ she said

‘Anything’ I said and then kicked myself for being desperate.

‘Me and Brooke are in this bar on Main Street. It’s an Irish bar I think. Anyway Brooke is wasted and I can’t drive her car and I can’t get a taxi because I don’t know her address or how to get there from here and I can’t take her to my house because well you know Jessica will flip out and….’

‘….im on my way ok? Take her outside’

‘I will thank you so much. You’re my hero’

I’m not gonna lie that last comment made feel about 10 feet tall

‘I’m off to pick up Beth. We will talk again soon ok?’

‘Is Brooke ok?’

‘She had a bit to drink that’s all. You can’t come before you ask. She won’t want to see you and you will make it worse.’

‘Will you at least text me and let me know she is ok?’ he looked really sad.

‘Of course I will’.

As I’m leaving my mum shouts me.

‘Is Charlie ok he looked down’ she says to me.

‘He cheated on his girlfriend and got caught’

‘Oh’ she said looking disappointed. She had known Charlie a long time. ‘Well I will have a word with him next time he is here. I’m sure his own mother hasn’t even noticed’

‘Probably not’ I said feeling kinda sorry for him now. ‘I gotta bounce’

‘Where you going I’m making dinner?’

‘Im off to pick up Beth’

‘I thought she had a boyfriend?’

‘Not anymore but after tonight I am hoping it will be me’

‘Be careful’

‘I will’ I kissed her cheek and ran out the door.

 

When I got to the place Beth described I could see her outside holding back Brookes hair while she puked. Nice! I had some towels in the back so I laid them out across the back seat so she did not ruin my seat covers.

Beth looked so relieved when I got there. I helped get her in the car and set off for her house.

We didn’t speak in the car. Beth was too concerned about Brooke which I didn’t mind.

When we got to Brookes we went round the back hoping we wouldn’t run in to her parents. We got her to her room and Beth changed her clothes while I waited in the hall. I helped her get her into bed and I washed the sick from her mouth while Beth put the waste bin next to her bed in case she had to hurl again.

As we were closing the door her mum came round the corner. We both stopped dead.

‘Is she drunk?’ She asked. She did not look happy.

‘She will be fine’ Beth answered.

‘She rang me from a bar crying saying she had a broken heart and why didn’t I love her like I should. The stupid girl’

Beth stepped forward and I got a little tense. Beth had a temper. ‘Your daughter, yes daughter caught her best friend and her boyfriend in bed together. Her heart is broken. She is devastated and you’re upset cos she phoned you. Who else would she call?’

‘Is that true?’

‘Yeah’ I said.

‘You can leave her I will look after her’

‘You better’ Beth said.

As we left I could tell Beth didn’t really want to leave.

‘She will be fine’ I said. She just nodded. ‘Are you hungry?’

‘Starved’ she says smiling.

‘I know the perfect place’

 

We were sat in a little Italian Bistro overlooking the lake. Beth looked beautiful in this lighting. We had ordered our food and I had text Charlie to let him know Brooke was home safe.

‘How did you find this place?’ Beth asked

‘My parents brought me here for a birthday once’

‘It’s nice’

I really wanted to ask her about Freddie but I didn’t know if I should wait to see if she brought it up.

‘So the rumour mill at school is spinning fast’

‘Yeah’ she smiled. ‘What are people saying?

‘Well my personal favourite is that you dumped Freddie because Brooke is now single and you ditched today so you could try and get with her’

‘Are you serious?’ she asked laughing. ‘Wait till I tell Brooke that. Maybe we could walk down the corridors holding hands and put a bit of fuel on the fire’

I laughed.

‘Anyway I didn’t dump Freddie’

My heart sank. ‘Oh’

‘He dumped me’

‘What? Seriously?’

‘Yeah said he was sick of coming second to you’

‘Really? You haven’t put me first at all’

‘I still have your Jacket. I didn’t realise and I was wearing it the other day when he face timed me. I think that was the icing on the cake’

‘Was he mad?’

‘Not hopping mad but he wasn’t happy’ she sighed ‘it was unfair what I did to him. I never should have agreed to that first date but I was so mad at you.’ I went to say something but she stopped me ‘as soon as I found out what Jessica did all my anger just vanished. I should have ended things with Freddie then. I knew you were who I wanted to be with I just didn’t have the guts to end it with him. Not at first anyway. I would have done it by the weekend.’ She paused for a long time but I didn’t disturb her while she collected her thoughts. Our food came and we started to eat. After 10 minutes I had to speak.

‘What do you want to do now?’

‘After we have eaten?’

‘No I mean with us. What do you want to do now?’

‘Oh’

‘We don’t have to talk about it now if you don’t want’

‘We need to talk about it’ she put down her fork. ‘I’m scared Jackson’

‘Scared of what?’

‘You’

What? How could she be scared of me ‘why?’

‘Ok please just listen, don’t interrupt I know you love to do that’

I smiled ‘I promise’

‘Do you remember our first ‘date’ if that what it was?’

‘When I took you to the beach?’

‘Yes’ she paused while she figured out what to say. I waited. ‘Ok do you remember what you said to me?’

‘I said you always looked sad even when you smiled’

‘No after that. I said I was broken’

‘Ah yes I said I was going to fix you’

‘I said I was unfixable’

‘I said I was still going to try’ she had looked so surprised when I said that to her. I remember that was the moment when I knew this wasn’t just any old crush and could possibly be the real deal.

‘I felt like you saw deep into my soul, into my heart that day. I was scared that day because I believed you. I didn’t think I deserved to be fixed but in truth I think I had already started to heal. I had a hole in my heart ever since my dad died and been here with you (and Brooke too) it’s slowly started to heal. I did some bad things back home and I don’t know if I’m good enough for you and that scares me. The way you look at me when you’re telling me you love me that scares me. The fact that you love me at all is baffling. The way I feel about you scares me. I was with Preston for a long time and I didn’t feel a quarter for him what I am feeling for you. I know we could make this amazing. I know we could be together for ever if we go for it. I’m scared that I could get hurt. That I’m gonna go for it all in and everything then you’re gonna leave me. If you left me I would have nobody and that scares me’ she picked up her fork and carried on eating. I just looked at her for ages.

‘You have never spoken so much in all the time I have known you’ she just shrugged. How could she think I would leave her? She was everything to me. Just been here in this room with her I was happier than I ever thought I could be. ‘You know that day I slept at your house by mistake?’ she nodded ‘Jessica phoned my mum and she was giving me a lecture about you and saying I should stay away and I said that when I got back from camp I was gonna do everything I could to make you my girlfriend and make that last forever’

‘Really?’

‘Don’t act so surprised. I wanted you the first time I saw you in Jessica’s car’ she smiled remembering that day. ‘I thought I had ruined it with that whole Fat Frank thing in the diner’

‘I have to say I was really disappointed at all of you for that. I liked how you walked me home though even when I was rude to you. Caleb still looks at me like he is waiting for the perfect opportunity to get back at me. It worries me a little’

‘He won’t do anything. He is a wuss, that’s why he went after Frank in the first place.’

‘I’m keeping an eye on him anyway. So we didn’t come here to talk about Caleb.’

‘No we didn’t’

She took a deep breath ‘so today on the twenty something of October in this beautiful little restaurant by the lake I am officially asking you Jackson Connelly if you will be my boyfriend, finally’

I laughed ‘and I Jackson Connelly willingly accept’ she smiled the most perfect smile.

‘Take me back to your place’ she said winking at me. And I did, gladly.

Brooke

 

Oh no why did I do that? Now I have to get up and go to school. I have the hangover from hell. I’m laid in my bed with no knowledge of getting there. I have pjs on too. Beth must have brought me home. She probably rang Jack to help her. So embarrassing!

When I sit up I notice the glass of water on the bedside table that Beth must have left last night. I take a big gulp and it’s cold. Maybe Beth stayed the night and got me the water this morning. I shower quickly and dress faster, leaving my hair wet.

I go downstairs looking for her but when I get to the kitchen only my mum is there. I ignore her and get some juice out of the fridge. I’m just about to grab an apple and go when she turns around and puts scrambled egg on toast in front of me.

I look at it, then her, then back again. ‘What’s this?’ I ask.

‘Breakfast’ she replies like I have just asked her the dumbest question ever.

‘You haven’t made me breakfast since I was seven’

‘You need it with the state you were in last night’ I must have gone red. ‘I met your new friend Beth’

‘Oh yeah’ I said between a mouthful of breakfast.

‘She has no worries saying what she thinks’

I laughed ‘No she doesn’t. It’s why I love her. What did she say to you?’

‘Nothing’

‘So you’re out here playing perfect mum for no reason?’

‘It doesn’t matter what she said. But she made me think. Dinner tonight at seven. You, me and dad’

‘You think you will get him to leave the office early’

‘Leave that to me’

 

I finished my breakfast and left to go to school. My car wasn’t in the driveway so I guess I left it somewhere last night. Just as I was contemplating walking or getting the bus Jack pulled up with Beth in the passenger seat. I didn’t say anything I just climbed in the back.

‘How you feeling?’ Beth asked turning in her seat to look at me.

‘Like shit’ I said smiling. ‘By the way what the hell did you do to my mum?’

‘Nothing why?’

‘She made me breakfast’ I pulled a face ‘and she wants a family dinner tonight. I doubt my dad will make it’

‘Do you need me to have a word with him too’ she said smiling. I saw Jackson smile too.

‘Your been very quiet Jack’

‘Am I?’ He said smiling

We pulled up at the school and he let us out then went to park up. As we walked into the school everyone was staring at me.

‘They think were lovers’ Beth says laughing beside me.

‘What?’ I ask

‘Yeah apparently I broke up with Freddie because you were single and I’m in love with you’

I just laughed ‘wow’

‘Yep’ Beth said.

‘So what happened last night?’

‘When?’ Beth asked.

‘I remember playing pool with those guys then nothing’

‘Ah yes the shot guys. Every time you missed you had to do a shot. You missed a lot’

‘You didn’t do any shots?’

‘I didn’t play’

‘You must have been a little drunk though, we were out for hours’

‘I don’t drink’ that was bullshit I had seen her drink loads of times at parties and she definitely drank last night.

‘You drink all the time’

She smiled a kind of sly smile I hadn’t seen her do before ‘no you haven’t’ she said. I gave her a look to say what are you talking about. ‘Look I got into a lot of trouble because of drinking a few years ago and I haven’t had a drop since. I didn’t want you to think I was lame so at parties when you gave me a drink I would just hold it and then leave it somewhere. If I got the drinks I would get myself a coke. Last night you were too upset to notice that there was no vodka in my coke even though you drank one of them’

‘I think you’re lamer for lying’ I said smiling.

‘I’m sorry. I don’t even know why I thought you would be bothered’ just then Jack walked over.

‘Hey’ he said putting his arm around Beth’s shoulder. ‘I’ll see you at lunch’

She looked up at him in a way that made my heart hurt. I used to look at Charlie like that.

‘Yeah’ she said smiling.

He kissed her on the temple then walked off.

‘Are you two together now?’ I asked her.

‘Yeah’ she said looking embarrassed.

‘I’m really happy for you’ I meant that too but it made me feel sad.

‘We’re not going to start making out in front of anyone though. I don’t want Freddie to know that it wasn’t even 24 hours after we broke up I got with someone else you know?’

I think she was also trying to say that since I had a broken heart she wasn’t going to rub it in my face which I appreciated.

 

The first lessons of the day were horrible. Everyone was staring at me and whispering when I walked past them.

I saw Charlie when I was on my way to my last lesson before lunch. He tried to walk over to me but I looked away and walked past him. I know I would have to hear him out eventually but right now I couldn’t listen to his excuses.

After class I met Beth in the corridor and we walked to lunch. As we walked in the cafeteria there was a mass of people stood just in the entrance. They all turned and looked at us as we entered. Maddy walked out of the middle of the crowd. She didn’t look at me, just at Beth.

I saw Jack making his way over

‘We know why you’re here’ she said to Beth.

‘At school?’ Beth asked looking confused.

‘No idiot. In America’ Maddy snarled. There was so much venom in her voice. I had never seen her like this and we had been friends since we were five.

‘Oh I see’ Beth said looking amused. ‘Enlighten me then’

‘Your daddy is a murderer’ Maddy said. Everyone looked at Beth and shocked noises came from everyone. Maddy had not shared the news with them before she just told them she had news. Beth’s face never changed.

‘How did you come to this conclusion?’ Beth asked.

‘Well it was simple really’ Maddy said clearly very proud of herself. ‘I broke into the school records and got your dads name. Then I googled him’

‘Wow impressive’ Beth said obviously not impressed. I could tell Maddie was annoyed now because she was not getting any reaction. Jack was next to us now which pissed her off even more. ‘What did Google tell you?’

‘That your dad killed a woman and was doing life for it’

‘So this was in a paper I’m guessing?’

‘Yeah I printed it out so I could show everybody’

‘Can I see it?’

‘Sure’ she handed Beth a piece of paper ‘don’t bother ripping it up because I will just print more’ She said

‘Oh I’m not going to rip it up’ Beth said cool as you like. She took the paper off her and started to read it. Jack was reading it over her shoulder.

‘Jack your girlfriends dad is not a nice man’ Maddie said.

‘Your dad is sleeping with his secretary. He is not a nice man either’ Jack shot back.

Maddie went red and started to say something back when Beth said ‘have you actually read this’

‘Of course I have’ Maddie said looking worried.

‘This happened in the 50s. Before my dad was even born’ everyone looked at Maddie. ‘Also the guy in this story is black’ Beth stepped towards Maddie. ‘I’m taking this to the principle. I will also be telling him you broke into my file. Do you really wanna know why I’m here so badly? All you had to do was ask’ she walks off to a table and sits down.

Jack walks up to Maddie. The crowd has started to disperse. ‘You really are an evil bitch aren’t you?’

‘Jack please’

‘You’re twisted. You sleep with your best friend’s boyfriend then try and turn everyone against my girlfriend by making up a stupid story’

‘You have to be wondering why she is here Jack’

‘No I’m not because she told me. Months ago’ Jack walks off and I follow him not even looking at Maddie. She says my name as I pass but I’m not interested.

Beth

Well that was fun. I knew it was only a matter of time before she tried to do something to me but I didn’t think she would tell lies about my dad. Jackson and Brooke were just leaving me to my thoughts which was a good thing because I was really annoyed at Maddy. All this because I ‘stole’ her boyfriend. She needed to get a grip.

I thought today was going to be a good day. Brooke was smiling and me and Jackson were finally together. I couldn’t wait for today. For the first time since I got here I was looking forward to a day at school.

I wasn’t going to put up with this. I pushed my dinner aside, got up and left the cafeteria. Jackson shouted me as I left but he thankfully didn’t follow.

I went to the principal. It was only a threat when I said it but I changed my mind.

After I left the office I felt a little better. I went straight to class careful not to make eye contact with anyone so they didn’t speak to me.

The last lesson of the day was Biology. I sat in my usual seat and waited for class to start. Jackson came in and sat beside me. He kissed my temple just as Freddie passed. Freddie shook his head and sat behind us. I looked back at him and he looked sad. I felt really bad.

‘You ok?’ Jackson asked me. I just nodded.

After school Jackson tried to get me in his car but I just wanted to be alone so I walked home. It was nice to be by myself for a little while. It really was beautiful here. I walked along the pier and bought a milkshake and watched the sunset.

On my way home I stopped at the diner me and Paige went to on my first day. I sat in a booth and ordered a burger and fries. While I was waiting Charlie came in. He looked at me then went to the other side of the diner. He looked at me again and I half smiled. He took that as an invitation and came and sat with me.

After he had ordered we sat in silence for a long time.

‘Why did you do it?’ I asked.

‘I was having a really bad day’

‘That’s a shit excuse’ he looked at the table. ‘Walk me through it’

‘Why?’

‘Because I want to understand. Why do the people we love hurt us the most’

‘Do you mean Jack?’

‘No he would never hurt me’

‘Do you know my parents got divorced last year?’

‘Yeah’ he looked really down. I hadn’t noticed before. Everyone has been so focused on Brooke because she is the one that got hurt.

‘After Brooke and I had that fight I was lonely. I never see my dad anymore and my mum is either at work or passed out drunk somewhere’ wow I didn’t expect him to share so much. ‘I got a call from my dad he said he needed to talk to me. Obviously I met him and he told me his girlfriend was pregnant and they were getting married. I was gutted. It’s selfish I know but all I could think was what about me. Now I’m going to see him even less.’ Our food came then. I started to eat but he didn’t touch his. ‘I was the one who found out my dad was cheating’

‘Really’ I said ‘I didn’t know that’

‘Nobody does. Not even Jack. I was embarrassed to tell anyone’

‘Why? It’s not your fault’

‘I know that now. I saw him one day going into that motel off the highway. I was driving past and I saw his car. I pulled in just as he was going into a room with her. Three times a week his car would be there. I kept it quite for nearly a year until I couldn’t take it anymore’

‘What did you do?’ I was fascinated now.

‘He took a bite out of his burger ‘I went to the motel one day and waited for them to show up. When they did I watched what room they went in. I gave it 10 minutes because I needed them to be in a state of undress I guess you could say so he couldn’t pass it off as a business meeting. I knocked on the door and there was no answer at first. I kept knocking till finally she answered. She didn’t know who I was but when I asked if my dad was there she got the message. My dad begged me not to say anything but in the end he knew he had to come clean. I think he ended up with the witch just cos my mum threw him out’ He laughed ‘I don’t think he even likes her and now he is stuck with her’

I laughed too.

We sat there for a few hours. We had ice cream and coffees.

‘So tell me, why did you sleep with Maddy?’

‘I just felt so down and rejected by everyone, including Brooke. I had a few drinks, then a few more and I saw Maddy and it just happened. I regret it. It ruined everything. I heard about what she did to you today’

‘I’m ok. I wasn’t ok at first. Until I saw you. Your problems are way bigger, kind of put some things into perspective’

‘Glad I could help’ he said laughing

Just then his phone started to ring. ‘It’s Jackson’ he said looking at me.

‘Answer it. We’re not doing anything wrong’

‘Hey man what’s up?’ he listened for a second ‘woooaaa calm down I know where she is. Because I’m sat with her. What?’ Charlie sounded pissed when he said that. He hung up before saying bye. ‘You better go. There worried about you’

‘Why?’ I was confused

‘He said you haven’t been in touch with anyone and your phone is off. Max is out looking for you’

‘My phone died earlier. What did he say to you at the end?’

‘Nothing’ that was a lie.

‘Charlie, tell me’

‘He said I wasn’t content with ruining my relationship I was now trying to take you away from him’

‘He said what?’

‘Yeah anyway you better go’

‘Can I use your phone?’

‘Yeah sure’ he handed it to me and I called Jackson.

Three times I called before he answered. ‘What Charlie?’

‘Pick me up at the diner’

‘Beth are you…..’ I hung up.

‘Thanks’ I said to Charlie handing back his phone. ‘Look if you tell Brooke what you told me today. I think eventually she will forgive you.

‘If she ever speaks to me again’

‘She will’ I winked at him then left. 

Jakson

 

When I pulled up she was sat on the bench outside. She looked pissed. Charlie was just pulling out the exit. I got out the car and went and sat beside her. She didn’t look at me. Why was she mad? I’ve been worried sick.

‘Everyone has been worried about you’ I say softly. I’m mad at her but she had a rough day.

‘I highly doubt that’ she says in that sarcastic tone she uses when she is mad.

‘They were. Even Jessica. When you didn’t come home from school she sent Max out to find you. When he couldn’t she phoned my mum and got my number. I went to your house and it was frantic. Jessica was on the phone to the principal to see if you were still at the school. Max was leaving again to try and find you and Paige was crying in the corner. My mum went to your mum and tried to calm her down and I took Paige to her room’

‘Is she ok?’

‘She was when I left. I told her you were fine and had just gotten lost. That you would find your way back to us’ her shoulders eased a bit at that. ‘I was worried though. With what happened at school and you saying you thought Caleb was going to do something. I was scared’

‘I just went for a walk on the beach and then on the pier. I really didn’t think it would be a big deal. Jessica doesn’t notice me when I’m there anyway’

‘What about me? You know I notice you’

‘I’m sorry you were worried and I’m sorry I upset Paige. I’ll make it up to her’ she stood and walked to the car. ‘Will you take me home please?’ why was she still been off with me?

She doesn’t say a word all the way to her house. I pull up and stop the car. She doesn’t get out though. All of a sudden a pit inside my stomach opens and I feel like I am going to hurl.

‘Jackson’ she says with her head down.

‘Don’t you dare break up with me’

She finally looks at me ‘what?’

‘You heard me. I only just got you back. If you need space or time or whatever I’ll give it too you but we are not breaking up’

‘Jackson’

‘No I mean it. For fucks sake Beth you can’t keep doing this to me’ I get out the car and start walking towards my house. I can’t deal with this.

‘Jackson’ she shouts ‘stop’ I don’t stop I keep going. ‘Fine run off like a child. Don’t stay and talk about it like a man would’ she has stopped following me. I slow down a bit. ‘I wasn’t even going to break up with you you loon!!!’ I stop and turn around. It starts to rain. We stand looking at each other for a long time. She starts to walk towards me. ‘Why do you always think the worst of me Jackson? Just because I said your name in a ‘we need to talk way’ does not mean I was going to break up with you. In fact I didn’t wanna talk about us at all but off you go on your high horse as usual. Urgh do you even care about what you said to Charlie tonight?’

‘What has he got to do with it?’

‘Oh my god’

She turns and starts to walk away. I run and stop in front of her. ‘What did I say to him?’

‘You accused him of trying to get with me. He is your best friend’

‘He already slept with my ex’

‘So why are you bothered? Are you jealous?’

‘What? No of course not’

‘Then let it go’ she walks around me so I jump in front of her again. ‘Go talk to him’

‘Why were you with him?’ it felt good to finally ask.

‘I thought you weren’t jealous’

‘Of him and Maddie I’m not. But you, well that’s different’

‘I ran into him at the diner. That is all. He never once tried to make a move or do anything that would upset you. In fact he talked about Brooke and his family’

‘I know his family is a little messed up right now’

‘You know that? Ok do you know it was Charlie who found out his dad was having an affair? Do you know his mum passes out drunk every night? Do you know that he blames himself?’

I don’t say anything.

‘I didn’t think so’ she sets off walking back to the house.

‘Beth’ I shout through the rain.

She turns around and glares at me.

‘You know’ I say walking over to her ‘You look really sexy in the rain’ she rolls her eyes and turns around. I grab her arm and turned her to face me.

‘Jackson this is never going to work if you don’t trust me. Charlie is your friend and I like him. I don’t like what he did to Brooke and because of that I don’t think we will ever be real friends. You have to trust me. I trust you’

‘I do trust you. I love you’ I had said this to her now quite a few times and she hadn’t said it back.

She smiled at me ‘let’s go in here and sort them out then go see him. Apologise for what you said and hang out with him for a bit. Don’t forgive him for the Maddie thing yet though. He doesn’t deserve it yet’

‘Ok’ I said. She kissed me and grabbed my hand and led me into the house.

We walked in the house and it was all calm. I had told Jessica I was going to get her so they had called off the search.

‘I’m going to see Paige first. Don’t leave yet’

‘Anything you want’ I said.

She went up the stairs and I walked to the kitchen. I stopped before entering listening to what they were saying. They obviously didn’t hear us come in.

‘Maybe we should get her some counselling?’ Jessica asked.

‘You really think that is necessary’ Max replied. I was with Max there.

‘I just think she would feel better if she could talk to somebody, about her dad and leaving her home and friends’ I didn’t want to listen anymore so I walked in.

‘She can talk to me’ I said.

‘Where is she?’ Max asked.

‘She is seeing Paige first’

He nodded. ‘Is she ok?’

‘Yeah I think so’

‘What the hell happened?’ Max asked.

‘Nothing, she went for a walk to clear her head after what happened at school and her phone died. She said she is fine.’

‘What happened at school?’ Jessica asked.

‘That’s for her to tell you but she doesn’t need counselling’

‘You want me to see a shrink?’ Beth says from behind me. We all turn and look at her.

‘You don’t have to see anyone’ I said walking over to her.

‘Jackson this really has nothing to do with you’ Jessica said.

‘It has everything to do with me’ Beth grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I looked at her and she smiled.

‘Look’ Beth said ‘I saw a shrink back in England and he helped me a lot. I dealt with a lot of my grief but it will never fully go and that’s what I have to deal with. I will always miss him. I don’t need to see anyone about that because I already know. The only person I need to talk to is Jackson. You are going to have to deal with the fact that we are together. There is nothing that can break us up so don’t even try’

‘Your only 16 Beth you don’t know what you’re saying’ Jessica says.

‘I’m nearly 17 and I have been through more in my short lifetime than most people go through ever. What does it matter if this between Jackson and me only lasts till next week or till high school is over or till college is over or if we live happily ever after? All that matters is right now it means everything to me and as my mother you should be happy that I have someone who loves me. More than you love me I might add’

‘You think he loves you? He is just waiting to get in your pants and then he will dump you’

Beth actually laughed out loud. It was a weird feeling being talked about like I wasn’t in the room. I was happy that she had said I meant everything to her. It wasn’t quite I love you but it will do for now.

‘Why are you laughing?’ Jessica almost shouted.

‘He got in my pants back in August and he hasn’t dumped me yet.’

Max glared at me. I thought maybe he was going to punch me.

‘You gave him your virginity?’

‘Don’t say him like that Jessica and no I didn’t. My virginity left a long time ago. Right around the time I was parentless’

‘Jackson I think you should leave’ Max said. I was a little hurt. I always thought we got on well.

‘No Max come on he doesn’t have to leave’ Beth almost begged.

‘It’s ok Beth’ I said. When she looked at me I almost picked her up and took her with me. She looked scared.

‘No its not, it’s not ok’

‘Walk me to the door’ I say grabbing her hand. We walk out onto the porch and I close the door behind us. I pull her into a hug and we stand like that for a while. I don’t know how long.

‘They can’t do this’ she says into my chest. I pull her away to look at her.

‘Max trusted me and now he knows that we made love he sees it as me breaking that trust. Even though I hadn’t met Max before. I’ll try and talk to him about it but not tonight he will be angry with me and I don’t blame him. You shouldn’t either. It’s only because he cares’

‘I don’t want you to go’

‘What if I come back? I could probably climb that tree there into your room’

‘Isn’t that breaking his trust?’ she asked with a smile.

‘Maybe’ I said smiling back.

‘I’ll text you when everyone is asleep’

‘Ok’ I kissed her lightly on the lips. She deepened the kiss, she put one had in my hair and her other on my back under my t-shirt. I feel sparks every time she touches my skin. The kiss got more intense and I pulled her as close to me as I could. Then I pulled away. We were both a bit breathless just stood looking at each other.

‘Wow’ she said smiling.

‘Wow indeed’ I said laughing. ‘I better go’ I kissed her on the forehead and left. I couldn’t stay there any longer. I wanted her too much.

 

I didn’t go home. I went to Charlie’s like Beth suggested. I used to go straight in but I knocked this time. I didn’t know if he would want to see me. His mum answered. She looked like shit, she was swaying and using the door to help her stand up.

‘Is Charlie in?’ I asked

‘His is hisss room’ she slurred.

‘Thanks’ I said walking past her. I went up the stairs and knocked on Charlie’s door. I heard him shout go away so I went in anyway.

He was playing on his Xbox sat on the end of his bed. I went and sat next to him picking up the other controller and joining in his game.

We played in silence for a half hour before either of us spoke. It didn’t feel uncomfortable though it felt normal. This is what we had done since we were kids and now everything was so complicated.

‘I’m sorry I said what I did, I was worried about Beth and I took it out on you’ I said. Neither of us stopped playing.

‘It’s cool. Beth did say that the people we love the most are the ones to hurt us the most’

‘She is very perceptive’ I say with a smile.

‘She loves you’ he says

‘You think?’ I reply. ‘I have said it to her a few times but she hasn’t said it back’

‘Doesn’t mean anything’ he looked at me for a second and then back at the TV. ‘Who do you think was the last person she said it to?’

I thought about it for a moment and then I realised ‘her dad’

He nodded. ‘I bet it’s really hard for her to say it but I know she feels it. You can tell anytime anybody mentions you or you walk in a room. Its written all over her face’

That made me feel very happy.

‘When she does say it at least you know she will really mean it’

‘Thanks’ I said. ‘Listen I saw your mum downstairs’

‘Don’t Jackson’ he said stopping the game and throwing his controller on the bed. He started to pace the floor

‘You have to do something’

‘Don’t you think I’ve tried? My dad won’t listen to me, she won’t listen to me, and the doctors won’t listen to me. There is no food in this house, no hot water, no aircon. I have no money of my own. The last time I ate was 3 days ago’

‘What? Are you serious?’

‘Yeah. My life is shit Jack completely shit. The only good thing I had was Brooke and I blew it’

‘You can sort out the thing with Brooke it’s not the end of the world but Charlie why isn’t your mum in rehab?’

‘I can’t afford that Jack. We have nothing since my dad left and anything we do get she just drinks it’ I felt really bad for him ‘Dad isn’t even bothered now the new baby is coming. What a joke of a man. Anyway if I put her in rehab what do I do?’

I stood up ‘Come on’ I said

‘Where we going?’ he asked

‘Where you should have gone right from the start. My house. We’re gonna tell my mum ok?’ he just nodded and we left.

Brooke

 

‘You had everybody worried’ I said to Beth down the phone

‘I know I’m sorry but it’s really not a big deal. My phone died that’s all’ she said.

‘Well don’t do it again. Jack was frantic’ it was puzzling to me how close I felt to Jack now. I actually hated him for how he treated Maddie but I loved him for how much he loved Beth

‘I know. He said he loved me again. It’s been like 8 times now and I haven’t said it back. I’m worried he is going to get tired of waiting’

‘So say it. You obviously do’

‘Everybody I love leaves or dies’

‘Jack isn’t going to leave you. Even if you told him to I don’t think he would be able to let you go’

‘It scares me how much I feel for him after such a short period of time. I panic every time he says good night that I’m not going to see him again. I feel like I’m losing my mind.’

‘What you need is a girl day to talk to your best friend about it all’

She laughed ‘sounds perfect’

‘I’ll pick you up at 10 be ready’

We said our goodbyes and hung up. I was alone in my room watching Sex In The City box sets. I was starting to like my own company again. It had only been a few days and I missed Charlie so much. I still couldn’t believe he did that to me.

I think maybe it was time to hear him out and find out why while it was all still fresh. If I waited it would just drag it all up again.

There was a knock on my bedroom door. My mum and been checking in with me every hour of the day since Beth said whatever she said. It was nice at first but getting annoying now. She put her head round the door and smiled.

‘Your dad and I are going to bed now sweetie. Don’t stay up too late’ she said.

‘I won’t’ I said smiling back. ‘Goodnight mum’

‘Goodnight Brooke’ then she was gone. I couldn’t decide if I liked the mum who cared too much or the one who didn’t care at all the most. It was very confusing.

 

I woke up the next morning feeling better. Not thinking about Charlie before I went to sleep meant I didn’t dream about him. I had a weird dream about my mum and a tractor but at least I slept through the night. The TV was still on and the DVD menu kept repeating itself. I fell asleep quicker than I thought. I turned it off and headed to the bathroom. After my shower I looked out the window to see what clothes to wear. It looked like another beautiful day. Tonight was the Halloween party. I was going to make Beth come with me and she was going to dress up weather she wanted to or not.

I got ready and went to pick her up.

I pulled up at her house and beeped my horn. A few minutes later she came out. She looked really mad. She got in and I pulled away.

‘What’s up’ I say looking over at her.

‘I’m grounded. Grounded. I have never been grounded in my life’

‘But tonight is the Halloween party’

‘Mate I can’t go’

‘You have to’ I needed this party ‘What if I talk to them’

‘They will say no. There pretty adamant about it’

‘You’re out now’

‘Yeah cos you’re not Jackson and I told them it was planned weeks ago’

‘Can you sneak out?’

‘I’m in enough trouble as it is’ she looked at her phone and smiled. Jack must have text her.

‘What did you do? Apart from going missing’

She sighed ‘I accidently told them Jackson and I were sleeping together’

I actually laughed ‘oh my god’

‘I know but he was stood right there and Jessica all high and mighty was all like he will get in your pants then dump you and I just blurted out that he was already in my pants’

‘Good Jessica impression’

‘Really I think it needed to be more whingey’ we both laughed.

‘Please come tonight, please’ I begged.

‘Fine! Pick me up at 10 that’s the earliest I can do and park down the street so they don’t see your car’

‘Yay’ I said clapping. She just rolled her eyes.

We went for breakfast then went to get our costumes. I was going as a sexy devil and Beth just picked a witch outfit.

After I drove her home and told her I would be back at 10. On my way home I drove past Charlie’s house. I stopped the car just past the house and sat there for about 20 minutes. I was ready to talk to him but not ready to see him. I reversed the car and then pulled into his driveway.

I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I found the spare key and let myself in. The house was dark and cold. It was as if nobody lived here. I heard a noise upstairs so I followed it. I opened the door to his bedroom and he was stood on top of a step ladder painting. He was wearing shorts and no shirt. I forgot how sexy he was. He had earphones in his ears that were connected to something in his pocket. He wasn’t singing or dancing though like I had seen him do so many times before. He looked disconnected. Like he was on autopilot.

He hadn’t heard me come in so I just stood watching him. Thinking about happier days.

Then he looked at me. He smiled a relieved kind of smile but it was only for a moment before that smile faded. He pulled the buds out of his ears and put his shirt back on.

‘Hey’ I said half smiling.

‘Hey’ he said back.

‘Well this is awkward’ I said after a few minutes of silence. He laughed which broke the tension a little. ‘Where’s your mum?’ it was Saturday and I knew she didn’t work weekends. His face dropped and he sat down on a paint can.

‘Rehab’ he said. He threw the paintbrush he had in his hand so hard at the wall that it made a dent. I didn’t know what to do. He looked up at me and he had tears in his eyes. ‘I am so sorry Brooke. You will never know how sorry I am. Everything in my life was falling apart. My mum was passing out drunk every night, my dad and his new girlfriend are getting married and she’s pregnant. Where does that leave me? I know that’s selfish but it’s hard enough to get time with him as it is. I just wanted someone to love me and I wanted to take comfort from you and you rejected me and I guess I took a leaf out of my mums book because I got drunk and ran into Maddie. At first she just wanted to talk about Jack but then she kissed me and I didn’t stop her. You know what happened next’ he looked really beat down ‘I woke up and saw your necklace and I couldn’t believe what I had done and that’s when I realised that I love you. I’ve loved you since I was about 12. If I could have just told you that a few hours earlier we wouldn’t be in this mess and I wouldn’t have lost the best thing in my life’ he stood up and started pacing. ‘Then Jack was mad at me too and you told the whole school which I get I really do but nobody would talk to me. Then I saw Beth in that burger place near the mall. She is a really good friend to you and to me one day I hope. She told me to give you time. She told me how good her and Jackson were and with what they went through it gave me hope’

Wow he just laid himself bare. What was I supposed to say to that? Sorry you have all this shit going on but I can’t trust you anymore? I don’t think I could trust him. He kept all this to himself.

‘Why did you not tell me any of this?’ I asked

‘I felt weak. I didn’t tell anyone’

‘Not even Jack?’

‘No. The first person I told was Beth last night. It was like I couldn’t keep it in any longer. I asked her not to say anything but obviously she told Jack’ I smiled. ‘He came round and I told him everything. We went to see his mum and she came here and we took my mum to rehab. A place she can’t get out of. There sending the bill to my dad’ He laughed and shook his head ‘he will love that. Anyway I’m staying at Jacks till everything is sorted’

‘So why are you painting?’ I said looking around ‘and where’s your bed?’

‘I thought that if we could sort things out you wouldn’t want to come here and see the same image every time you walked in of me and Maddie so I was changing it up a bit. I threw the bed out. I’m going to bring one in from one of the spare rooms. I didn’t think you would ever want to sit on it’

‘You’re doing all this for me?’

‘Yeah’

‘You know I can’t forgive you in like 3 days right?’

He laughed ‘yeah of course I do but what else am I going to do?’

I said good bye then and I left. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.

As I was leaving Jack was just pulling up.

‘Hey’ he said looking shocked that I was here. I just smiled. ‘You guys talked?’

‘Kinda. He told me everything about his parents. I’m glad you’re looking after him’

‘I just wish he had told me sooner. You know he wasn’t eating for days because his mum was too drunk to go shopping’

‘What? No I didn’t know that’ I felt terrible now.

‘Look you don’t have to forgive him, you can hate him forever if you want but I can’t’

‘I know. Thanks for been my friend though’

‘I’ll always be your friend’

I smiled ‘I’ll see you at the party’

‘I’m not going. Beth’s grounded so there’s no point’

‘Beth’s going’ he turned to look at me. ‘She is going to sneak out. I’m picking her up at 10’

‘Wow that will end badly for her you know’ guilt trip much.

‘I’ll get her in and out without been seen’

‘Ok’ he sceptically ‘I’ll see you tonight’ and he walked into the house.

Should I tell Beth not to come tonight? I know she wanted to go before she got grounded. Am I just going to make it worse for her? Am I been selfish? I sent her a text

 

Hi, was just thinking

That you’re in enough

Trouble as it is so if you

Don’t want to come out

Tonight then you don’t

Have to. I don’t want you

To get into more trouble x

 

It was only seconds later that she text me back.

 

It’s fine don’t worry

How much more trouble

Could I get in really?

They have already

Grounded me ;) see you

Tonight x

 

So I went home to get ready. I didn’t have to rush since I wasn’t picking Beth up till ten. I had some thinking to do regarding Charlie. What he did to me was so bad and I didn’t think I would ever be able to forgive him but I didn’t know what was going on with his parents. Still should that be an excuse to cheat on me and if I do forgive him will he just do it again because he got away with it? When did life get so complicated?

Beth

 

I had already started to wind down my evening. I had put on my pjs and made myself and Max a cup of tea. He was watching some show about cars and I was reading. I kept looking at the clock to see what time it was. At quarter to 9 I started to pretend to fall asleep. I was hoping since I never mentioned the party they wouldn’t be suspicious. Jessica was out with friends so I was just hoping we didn’t come home at the same time or she came home first and checked on me. By nine fifteen I was ‘asleep’ on the sofa. I wanted to wake up about five to ten say goodnight and go upstairs and straight out the window. Brooke had what I was wearing in her car so I didn’t have to get changed.

Just then there was a knock at the door. Max mumbled something about how it was a bit late for visitors. I kept my eyes firmly closed.

‘Jack’ Max said when he opened the door. I nearly opened my eyes. ‘She is grounded’

‘I know I know’ Jackson said ‘I’ve come to talk to you’

‘Ok come in’ Max said. They stood in the hallway though. Max didn’t invite him in properly. ‘Go’ Max said

‘First of all I want you to know how sorry I am that you found out the way that you did about me and Beth. Second, the first time it happened was the night before I met you. I spent the next day sat on your porch because I woke up and she was gone. Thirdly this is not just about me getting in her pants’

‘I know that’ Max cut him off.

‘Good I’m glad because I don’t want you to think that. I am so in love with her it makes my heart ache’

‘It shouldn’t ache when you’re in love it should be soaring’

There was silence for a moment. I dint know what Jackson was going to say. I wanted to sit up and move closer to hear better.

‘What if the person you love doesn’t love you’ I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

‘You think she doesn’t love you? Max said. He sounded as shocked as I felt. ‘Did you see the way she reacted the other day when I asked you to leave? She can’t be without you’

‘I don’t doubt that she needs me and I know she feels a lot for me but love, I dunno about that’

‘What makes you think that?’ Yeah what does make you think that it think.

‘I have said it to her about 8 times now and she hasn’t said it back. She hasn’t even looked like she wanted to. I know I’m been all girly and pathetic but she is the only person I have ever said those words to and she looks upset more than anything when I say them’

I wanted to scream at him that he had to give me time. That I would say it when I was ready.

‘Do you remember what I asked you to do that day on the porch?’

‘You asked me not to give up on her’ Max said that.

‘I’m asking you again Jackson. She does love you and she will say it. Give her time’

‘That’s easy for you to say’ he sounded so sad I wanted to cuddle him.

‘Yeah your right but she is just like her mum. Jess took ages to say it too. It’s only been a few months’

‘Yeah I guess’ there was a pause ‘I better get going’

‘What are you doing tonight?’ Don’t say anything about the party.

‘Not much. Probably just hang out with Charlie. I neglected him a bit since Beth got here’

Max laughed ‘Ok well have fun and she won’t be grounded for long’

‘Bye Max’

Then the door closed. I sat up. I couldn’t pretend anymore. Max stood at the door looking at me. Neither of us said anything for ages. He came and sat next to me. I still didn’t say anything.

‘Go’ He said.

‘What?’ I said looking at him.

‘The party tonight, go’

‘How do you know?’

‘Do you think I don’t know when someone is planning on sneaking out? I was a teenager myself once’ I hugged him.

‘Thank you thank you thank you’

‘It’s only for today, your grounded again tomorrow’

‘Understood’ I say getting up and running for the stairs.

‘Oh and Beth’

‘Yeah’ I say stopping at the bottom and turning to look at him.

‘Put that poor boy out of his misery and tell him you love him for goodness sake’

I smiled the biggest smile I have done in a long time and carried on up the stairs.

He was right it was time. I did love him. It was just mean not to tell him.

I phoned Brooke and she set of straight away to pick me up. I got in her car and she shouted that Max was a legend and we left. I got changed in the car as originally planned but now I didn’t have to be home for a certain time and I could enjoy myself.

‘I’m going to tell him’ I said. I felt so happy I could burst.

‘Tell who what?’ Brooke asked a bit puzzled.

‘Jackson. I’m going to tell Jackson I love him’

‘About fucking time’ we both burst into hysterics.

 

The party was in full swing when we got there. Everyone was in costume and looked amazing. I was in such a good mood. I told Brooke I was going to look for Jackson. I don’t know what happened to her earlier but she seemed more relaxed then she had in a few days. I made a mental note to ask her later.

I walked in the kitchen and got a can of pop.

‘Hey’ someone said from behind me. I turned round and it was Caleb. I didn’t say anything. ‘I was hoping we could talk, you know clear the air’ I was a little scared at the smile on his face but I nodded and he walked out of the kitchen. I reluctantly followed him.

We went upstairs into one of the bedrooms. He closed the door behind him which made me feel uneasy. I opened my can of pop and took a drink.

I sat down on the bed and he sat next to me. Not too close though which was good.

‘Ok’ he started. ‘I just want to apologize for what happened in the diner that day’

‘It’s Frank you should apologize too’ I say.

‘I know and I will. Jack was a good friend of mine and after the incident shall we call it he hasn’t really spoken to me and I would like that to change. Making amends with you might do that’

Just then someone knocked on the door. We both turned to look but nobody came in.

‘So what do you say? Can we make a truce?’

He does seem genuine which I’m surprised about. He is either a good actor or he really wants to make amends.

‘Ok fine. A truce’ I say.

He holds up his drink and says ‘Cheers’

I do the same and take a big drink. I feel thirsty. I dint realise my mouth was so dry.

I stand up to go back and join the party but something is wrong. I go dizzy and slide down the bed.

Just then someone comes in.

‘She bought it then’ said a female voice. I look up and Maddie is stood there.

‘Hook, line and sinker. I think I missed my calling as an actor’ he laughed.

Then realisation set in. He had drugged me. But how? I opened the drink myself.

Maddie came over and put her face close to mine.

‘What….How…..?’ I try to speak but it’s getting harder to do anything.

‘I knocked on the door so when you looked he could slip something in your drink. All he had to do was get you to say cheers’

I started to panic but I couldn’t move.

Maddie stood up and walked back over to Caleb ‘Make it hurt’ she said to him then left. I was alone with Caleb. I knew what he was going to do to me and I was powerless to stop it. He walked over to me and pulled me up by my hair. It didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe the drugs were blocking the pain. Once I was on my feet he punched me in the stomach. That hurt a lot. I couldn’t scream but I let out a sort of grunting noise.

I fell back to the ground by the bed. Caleb walked over to me and kicked me three times in the stomach and once in the face. I could feel the blood on my face but couldn’t move my hands to find out where it was coming from.

He came for me again and pulled me up by my hair. He spun me and let go and I flew into the wardrobes that were on the far wall. The wind was knocked out of me and I was finding it hard to breathe. He charged at me and caught me before I fell to the floor. He grabbed my hair and hit my head into the wardrobes three times.

Everything started to go dark. I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. Caleb lifted me up and threw me on the bed.

‘You deserve this bitch’ he said in my ear.

He climbed on the bed and started to remove my shorts. Then everything went black.

Jackson

 

‘Come on Charlie’ I shouted up the stairs. I went into the kitchen where my dad was making himself a coffee. I went to the fridge and got out a bottle of water. Me and my dad never really spoke, we did not get on very well.

‘Nice costume’ he said. I was Batman. It was short notice and I didn’t think I was going till a few hours ago. I didn’t have the mask on yet.

‘Thanks’ I said.

‘I heard there are going to be some scouts at your next game’

‘Oh really’ I said. My dad only cared if I was good at football. If I didn’t play then I guess we wouldn’t even speak.

‘They will mainly be there to see the seniors but you give them a reason to come back next year’

‘Yes sir’

Just then Charlie walked in as an army guy. I laughed.

‘What?’ he said ‘it’s all they had left’

‘Let’s go’ I said smiling. ‘Bye dad’

‘Be careful boys’ he said.

 

When we got to the party I saw Brookes car parked near the gate.

‘Are you and Brooke ok?’ I ask Charlie.

‘Yeah for now. I think considering what I did I was lucky she came and spoke to me. I think were in the place we need to be. I’m not going to crowd her. I’ll let her come to me for now. Then when I think I’m getting somewhere I’m gonna fight like hell to win her back’

‘Sounds like a good plan to me’ I say.

We get out the car and go in the house. Everyone looks amazing and the house is decorated perfectly. I spot Brooke straight away and walk over to her. Beth isn’t with her though.

‘Hey you look great’ I say. She does a little twirl and I laugh. ‘Where’s Beth?’ I ask

‘She went to look for you’

‘When was that? I have just this second walked in’

’Twenty minutes ago’ she says shrugging.

I look around to see if I can see her but I can’t. ‘I’m going to find her’ I say and start to walk round the house but I can’t see her anywhere. I have a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something is wrong. I go out to the garden but she is not there either.

‘Hey Jack’ someone says. I turn around and it’s Jay from the team.

‘Hey Jay have you seen Beth?’

‘Yeah I saw her go upstairs with Caleb about ten minutes ago’

‘Thanks’ I say and head for the stairs. That pit in my stomach just became a cavern.

I try the first door but it’s the bathroom. The next room is a child’s bedroom. The third room is locked. I bang on the door but there is no answer. I move back a few steps then charge at the door using my shoulder. It hurts like hell but the door swings open.

The scene in front of me is like something from a horror movie. There is blood all over the carpet. I look at the bed and Beth is laid on it unconscious. There is blood all over her face and neck. Her top is ripped open showing her bra. Her shorts have been removed but she still has her pants on.

Stood at the end of the bed holding said shorts is Caleb. He has her blood on his hands.

I charge at him. He starts to say something but I don’t hear him in my rage. I punch him in the face and he falls to the floor. I punch him again and again and again. He goes limp and I stop. I have knocked him out. I take the shorts out of his hand and turn back to Beth. I shake her and call her name but she doesn’t move at all.

I quickly put her shorts back on and pick her up. I carry her down the stairs while shouting Charlie’s name.

He comes from one side and Brooke comes from the other.

‘Oh my god what happened?’ Brooke shouts running over. I don’t stop I just head for the door.

‘Caleb did this’ I say when I reach my car. Charlie opens the back door for me. ‘I’m taking her to the hospital, you two go get max’

They both nod and run towards Brookes car.

I place Beth on the back seat so she is lying down and then I run to the driver’s side and get in.

I speed off down the driveway and pull out onto the road. I want to go really fast but if I get pulled over with an unconscious girl in my car that is not going to look good. I drive faster then I normally would though.

The hospital is just round the corner now. Not far to go now. I look in the back seat to check on her so I don’t see the stop sign. I run it, its stupid and I have never run a stop sign ever. I look up to see the bus coming straight for us. I swerve but it hits us. Everything goes black.

 

‘Of course your son nearly dies and all you care about is his football career’ my mum says frantically but hushed at the same time.

‘That’s not all I care about’ my dad says in the same hushed tone. Why are they in my bedroom? Why does my arm hurt like a bitch?

I try to open my eyes but they are reluctant. Eventually I manage to pry them open. This isn’t my bedroom it’s a hospital. Why am I here? What happened?

‘Look when he wakes up you better not say anything about that stupid game because I will ban you from seeing again do you understand?’

‘You can’t ban me from seeing him’

‘Try me’ she says. I’ve never seen my mum speak up against him before. ‘Hey sweetheart how you feeling?’ she has noticed im awake. I try to speak but nothing happens. I clear my throat and try again.

‘I’ll get the nurse’ my dad says leaving the room.

‘Can I have some water?’ I ask. Although my voice is really low and croaky she understands.

‘I’ll find out’ she says and leaves the room.

‘Hey’ I look up and Charlie is stood at the door. He is in an army costume. The Halloween party, I remember that part now. ‘You look like shit man’

‘Thanks’ I say. My voice is getting better. ‘What happened?’

‘You don’t remember?’

‘I remember the party at Joe’s house right?’ He nods. Then it all comes back to me. ‘Beth’ oh my god Caleb and the blood and the bus. ‘Is she ok?’

‘I don’t know. Jessica won’t let any of us see her. Not even Brooke. It’s bad though. She is in a coma. That’s what I overheard her doctors talking about’

I try to sit up but I can’t it hurts too much. I try to put my hands to my face but only one comes. It is in a pot. That’s why my dad is worried; I have broken my throwing arm. My other hand in handcuffed to the bedrail.

‘What’s this?’ I say pulling at it.

‘Mate I am so sorry’

‘Tell me what’s going on’ I say getting really angry.

‘Jessica is blaming you for drugging Beth and beating her up. She has also told the police that you were most likely drunk when you were driving and that is why you crashed.’

‘What?’ I knew she didn’t like me but that was harsh. ‘It was Caleb that hurt her’

‘I know. Me and Brooke we told the police that but when they went to his house he told them you found him talking to Beth and flew into a rage and started hitting him. He said Beth tried to stop you but you hit her too’

‘I would never hurt Beth’

‘I know that and as soon as she wakes up she will tell the police what really happened’

‘This can’t be happening’ I actually wanted to cry. This was so bad. I could get into a lot of trouble here for protecting the girl I love. ‘I have to talk to Max’

‘I’ll see if I can find him’ Charlie said running out of the room.

My mum and dad came back with a nurse who checked me over and gave me some water. When she said I would be fine my parents said they were going home to shower and change and would be back in an hour. Apparently I had been asleep for over 24 hours and they had stayed here the whole time.

Not long after they left Max came in followed by Brooke and then some guy I didn’t know but I could guess he was a cop.

‘Hello Mr Connelly glad to see your awake my name is Detective Steve Prior’ I half smiled. ‘I just need to ask you some questions’

‘Ok’ I said.

‘We will wait outside’ Max says.

‘You can stay I have nothing to hide’ I say ‘but first please tell me how Beth is I’m going crazy’

‘They can tell you after’ Prior said. ‘Now what happened the night of the Halloween Party?’

‘Well I got there’

‘You weren’t originally going is that right?’ Prior interrupted me.

‘No Beth was grounded so I didn’t see the point. Then I found out she was going so I went and got a costume at the last minute’

‘The Batman outfit you were wearing?’

‘That’s right’

‘So what happened when you got there?’

‘I looked everywhere for Beth. All the downstairs rooms and the garden but I couldn’t see her. Someone told me she had gone upstairs with Caleb and this worried me’

‘Why did it worry you?’

‘Because she had embarrassed his a few month ago and he said he was going to get her back for it. She said he looked at her like he wanted revenge’

‘How did she embarrass him?’

‘He was bullying some kid and she punched him in the face’

‘Who was he bullying?’

‘Erm Frank, Frank Thornberry I think it is. Everyone just calls him Fat Frank’

‘Ok so you go upstairs and then what?’

‘I look in a few rooms and then I get to one that is locked. I broke it down and Beth was lying on the bed covered in blood. Her clothes were ripped and her shorts had been taken off.’ A single tear rolled down my cheek. If I hadn’t gotten there when I did.

‘Where was Mr Richardson?’

‘Caleb was on his knees on the end of the bed. He was crouched over her and he sat back when I went in. He had her shorts in his hand. I ran over punched him three times and knocked him out’

‘You admit you assaulted him?’

‘What would you have done?’

‘What happened next?’

‘I tried to wake her up but she wouldn’t. I put her shorts back on and then carried her downstairs.’

‘Why did you put her shorts back on?’

‘To cover her up’ he wrote something on his pad. ‘The car accident was my fault. I was looking back to make sure she was ok and ran a stop sign. I tried to swerve away from the bus but it hit us. I was trying to get her here and I was probably driving too fast. Are the people on the bus ok?’

‘It was just the driver and he got a mild concussion but he is otherwise fine’

‘Thank god’

‘Just for the record Detective’ Max said ‘I believe him. He would never hurt Beth’

‘But she was scared of him?’ Prior asked.

‘No she wasn’t’ Brooke said.

‘I have a statement from a Miss Maddison Scott that Miss Cooper was scared of you’

‘Maddie is my ex she will say anything’

‘Yeah she would and Beth wasn’t scared of him. She loved him. She was going to tell him that night’ Brooke said.

‘What?’ I said looking at Beth.

‘She told me on the way to the party that she was finally going to tell you. I don’t think I have seen her so happy’

In this the most horrible situation I have ever been in I was flying high. She loved me. Nothing else mattered.

‘Well Mr Connelly you are been charged with assault on Mr Richardson so as soon as you are discharged you need to come to the station for more questions. Obviously we need to speak to Miss Cooper too when she wakes up. Thank you for your time’ and he left.

‘Please tell me how she is’ I beg looking at Max.

‘She has a broken leg and a broken wrist. A few cracked ribs and a dislocated shoulder. They popped the shoulder back and have potted her breaks. The ribs will fix themselves. She hit her head pretty bad and had swelling on her brain so they put her in an induced coma to get the swelling down. It’s working but it’s really up to Beth when she wakes up’

‘When will that be?’

‘They don’t know. Could be hours, days, weeks. It all depends on her’

I should be there not chained to this bed. If she hears my voice she might wake up.’

‘Jessica has filed a restraining order’

‘What?’ I shouted

‘I know I know’ Max said sitting on the bed. ‘As soon as Beth wakes up she will cancel it you know that’

‘I need to see her Max please’

‘I’ll try Jack but I can’t promise’

‘I would never hurt her Max I love her she is everything to me. When I saw her lying there with blood all over her…..it was like a horror film. I thought she was dead. I’m just glad I got to her before he did something more serious’

‘You did get to her that’s the main thing’

‘But she is worse now because of me’ I would be sat next to her if I had just seen that stop sign.

Brooke

 

Jack was beating himself up about Beth. It wasn’t his fault. If anything it was my fault. I made her go. I’m so obsessed with been at every party so I don’t lose my social standing that my best friend was nearly…..no I can’t get stressed. I need to be strong for them.

I was still in Jacks room. Max left about an hour ago.

Jackson was asleep. Or pretending to be so he didn’t have to speak to me.

‘Hey’ Charlie said from the doorway ‘You ok?’

‘Worried about them both’

‘Me too’ he sat in the other chair next to me. ‘Don’t blame yourself’

‘I made her go’

‘No you didn’t. Nobody makes Beth do anything’ that was true. It didn’t stop me feeling guilty though.

‘You should go home and get changed. Maybe get some sleep too’ Charlie said putting his hand on mine. He didn’t hold it just placed it on top. It was comforting.

‘No I want to be here in case anything happens’

‘I’ll call you straight away if something does. Then when you come back I’ll go’ he smiled at me. ‘Go on’

‘Ok’ I said getting up. ‘Tell Jack I won’t be long’

 

Three days had passed and Beth still hadn’t woke up. Jessica still wouldn’t let me see her.

Jack had been released and had gone to the police station and been arrested on assault charges. The police were keeping him in until Beth could give her story. He was in some kind of correctional facility not an actual jail.

He was in bits. He was refusing to see anyone, even his parents. I can’t believe Jessica and Caleb and even Maddie have done this to him.

I walk into the hospital like I have every day and get myself a coffee. Then I take the elevator up to the 5th floor and sit on the chairs outside Beth’s room. About 20 minutes later Max and the witch come out of her room. I don’t say anything to them because the witch just shuts me down every time I try.

‘Brooke’ Max says. I look up. ‘Go in’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah’ I jump up and hug him.

‘Wait’ Jessica says ‘no I said no visitors’

‘Jess she needs to hear her friend’s voices. You know she would want Brooke there’

‘You’re not her dad. You have no right’

‘Wow Jess that’s nice. Brooke go in now. You’re really going to use the fact I’m not her real dad against me’

‘You have only known her a few months’

‘Which is nearly the same as you’

‘How dare you?’

I go in the room then but that was not pretty.

Beth is lying in the bed. She has tubes and wires coming out of everywhere. She looks really helpless. I sit in the chair next to the bed and hold her hand.

‘We really need you to wake up Beth. We all miss you so much. Jackson is a mess. He is in trouble and he needs your help real bad. Jessica is been horrible to everyone even Max.’ I start to cry which I have managed to keep in till now ‘please wake up, please Beth. We need you especially Jackson’ when I say Jackson her hand twitched. I keep talking ‘Jackson loves you so much and he thinks this is his fault’ her hand twitches again ‘he is a mess. He is in jail Beth you have to wake up’ she coughs and I look at her face. She opens her eyes and the relief that floods through my body. I knew she only needed to hear a familiar voice.

She coughs again and I get her some water. I help her drink it and then press the call button. She hasn’t said anything yet but she looks in pain.

The nurse comes in and I point at Beth. She goes over and starts asking questions and looking her over. I put my head out the door and Max is sat there. He looks glum.

‘Max?’ I say. He looks at me. ‘She is awake’

He jumps up and runs into the room. He goes straight over to her and holds her hand.

‘Hi’ Beth says.

‘Hi’ Max replies holding back the tears. ‘Is she ok?’ he asks the nurse.

‘I’ll get the doctor to check her over but she seems fine. She has a long road to recovery’

‘Thank you so much’ Max says. The nurse nods and leaves. Max sits in the chair I was sitting I was using. I go stand next to him.

‘Beth I need you to listen ok?’ Max says. Beth nods. ‘Because you’re a minor, Jess can stop you talking to the police until you’re out of hospital. You have no choice. But if you sign this’ he pulls a document from his back pocket ‘this will mean I have adopted you and I am your legal guardian so I can get the police for you’

‘So you would be my dad?’ she says it low and croaky but you can hear her.

‘Yes. You don’t have to call me that and it’s only really for this purpose. Helping Jackson’

‘I don’t mind you been my dad. Thank you for everything you have done for me’

‘I love you’

‘I love you’ Beth replies. Tears spring to her eyes ‘do you have a pen’

 

An hour later Jessica came into the room. She was mad as hell that nobody had told her that Beth was awake. She tried to make me leave but Beth said I could stay.

Jessica tried everything to get Beth to talk to her but Beth was having none of it.

Ten minutes later and Detective Prior came in.

‘Miss Cooper good to see you’re awake. How are you?’

‘Apart from all the broken bones I’m good. When will Jackson be released?’

‘I don’t think Beth is quite up for an interview today Detective’ Jessica said.

‘I’m fine’ Beth said ‘I want to get this sorted so I can move on’

‘Another day honey’ Jessica said. Then she turned to the detective and said ‘Sorry you wasted your time but as her Mother I am saying she is not well enough to talk to you yet’

‘Actually’ Beth said ‘Max said its ok’

‘Well Max had no right to do that’

‘Actually I do’ Max said. Jessica turned to look at the both of them,

‘What have you two done?’

‘Max adopted me. He is now officially my legal guardian so he can say that I am ok to talk to the police’

I watched as Jessica’s face turned beet red. She was beyond pissed. ‘How dare you do that behind my back?’

‘Well you kept shutting me out saying I had no rights. So I got them’

‘Ahem’ The Detective cleared his throat ‘can we get on with this and you can have your family squabble later. And for the record Mrs Cooper’

‘Mrs Hoyt’ Jessica corrected

‘Mrs Hoyt. The only person who can stop me talking to a witness or victim - which in this case your daughter is both - is her doctor’

‘What? Is that true?’ Jessica said.

‘Yes’ he said then he looked at Beth. ‘Are you ready to tell me what happened?’

Beth nodded.

‘Ok so you were grounded right? You were not allowed to go to the party?’ Prior said.

‘No Max said I could go’ Beth said

‘You did?’ Jessica asked.

‘Yeah’ Max said. ‘Jack came around to talk to me. To apologise for what happened and I felt sorry for him so I let her go’

‘Why was he apologising?’ Prior asked.

‘We found out that he and Beth had been intimate’

‘Why did you feel sorry for him?’ Prior asked.

‘Because he loves Beth and he thought she didn’t feel the same. I knew that she did so I told her to go tell him’

‘Put that boy out of his misery was what you said’ Beth said smiling. She looked at the detective. ‘I got to the party and I couldn’t see Jackson so I went looking for him. I was in the kitchen and Caleb came over. He asked if we could talk. I didn’t really want to go into that room with him but I did. I should have trusted my gut.’

‘Why did you not want to go with him?’ Prior asked.

‘Because I had embarrassed him a few months before and he kept looking at me like he wanted revenge’

‘How did you embarrass him?’

‘He was picking on a kid called Frank and he hit him pretty hard so I punched him on the nose to see how he liked it’

‘I see’ Prior said writing something down. ‘What happened when you got in the bedroom?’

‘We sat down on the bed. I had a can of pop he a beer. He started to apologize for what he did to Frank. I said it was Frank he should be saying this to. He said he missed having Jackson as a friend and he was hoping that by making amends with me would help him with Jackson. Then someone knocked on the door. That’s when he slipped whatever it was into my drink when I turned to the door.’

‘Who came in?’

‘Nobody yet’

‘How do you know that was when he put something in your drink?’

‘I’ll get to that’

I smiled. She was going to be thorough about this.

‘After that he asked me for a truce. He asked if we could be friendly in the future. He seemed really genuine so I said yes. He held his beer up and said cheers. I did the same and drank from my can. It was instant. I knew something was wrong. I tried to walk to the door but my legs gave way and I fell to the floor’ nobody was looking at her now everyone was looking at the floor. ‘Then she came in’

Now everyone looked at her.

‘Who came in?’ Prior asked.

‘Maddie’

‘Maddie?’ I asked. Beth nodded

‘You mean Miss Madison Scott?’

‘Yeah. She knocked on the door to distract me while he put whatever in my drink. She told me.’

‘Did she say anything else?’

Tears sprang from Beth’s eyes. I had never seen her look so young and vulnerable. I think because she is so tough you don’t expect her to cry.

‘She told him to make sure it hurt’ max sat on the bed and held her hand. Even the detective didn’t know what to say. ‘After she left he pulled me up by my hair. He punched me a few times. He threw me into the wardrobes. While I was collapsed in agony on the floor he kicked me a few times. I have never been so scared in my whole life. I thought he was going to kill me and I couldn’t even scream. He picked me up and threw me on the bed. He started touching me’ Max looked really mad. ‘He started to take off my shorts and then I woke up here’

‘You don’t remember anything else between then?’

‘No nothing’

‘Ok thank you for your time Miss Cooper’

‘What happens now?’ Max asked

‘I need to talk to Mr Richardson and Miss Scott and then I will let you know’

‘What about Jack?’ I said.

‘I cannot discuss Mr Connelly’s case with you I’m afraid. Thank you for your time Miss Cooper’ and then he was gone.

‘So can we tear up the stupid adoption papers now?’ Jessica asked

‘I have already had them sent via courier to be finalised’ Max said. Then he looked at Beth ‘I can phone and cancel them if you like’

‘That would be great’ Jessica said.

‘I wasn’t asking you’ Max snapped back.

‘Leave them’ Beth said ‘Might be nice to have a dad again’ she smiled. I felt like I was intruding so I said goodbye and that I would come back later and I left.

I was walking down the corridor when I saw Charlie. He had been my rock these last few days. I don’t know what I would have done without him. I got the feeling he wanted more though and I still wasn’t ready.

‘Hey how is she?’ he asked.

‘Awake’ I said smiling.

‘That’s awesome’ he smiled too. ‘You hungry?

‘Starving. I don’t think I have eaten in days’

‘Come on then. I’ll buy you lunch’ I smiled and off we went.

Beth

 

I had been awake now for two days. Nobody would tell me what was happening with Jackson or Caleb. Jessica wasn’t speaking to me or Max because of the adoption thing. Whenever she came in the room now I just pretended to be asleep because it was easier. Today they were fighting.

‘If you hadn’t let her go to that party in the first place she wouldn’t be in this mess. You had no right to adopt her. You’re not fit to be a father’

‘Seriously? You do know we have a child together right? Max retorted.

‘Beth is my daughter’ Jessica spat

‘Since when? You didn’t see her for thirteen years. Not only did you not see her but you didn’t mention her. There is not one photo of her in our house even now. She is only you’re daughter when it suits you. I was trying to do right by her’

‘By letting her see Jack? That boy put her in hospital’

‘What the hell is wrong with you? He saved her’

‘She wouldn’t have been there at all if it hadn’t been for him’

‘Yes she would. She went with Brooke not Jackson’

‘Because you let her’

‘So were back to it been my fault’

‘Guys I’m trying to sleep for fucks sake’ I shout.

‘Sorry’ Max says.

‘Take your fight outside’ I say pointing to the door. ‘And for the record the only person at fault is Caleb’

‘Beth I….’ Jessica starts

‘Out’ I say.

It was so peaceful after they had gone. I was hoping they would stay away for a while.

Brooke and Charlie kept coming by but I told them to go back to school. There was nothing they could do here anyway. Brooke was coming by later with some school work I had missed. It sounded dull but I needed something to keep me busy. I was going insane.

There was a tiny knock on the door and at first I thought I hadn’t heard anything. Then it happened again.

‘Hello?’ I said.

The door opened and in he came.

‘Jackson’ I breathed. I don’t know why but I burst into tears. He was next to me in two strides. He put his arms around me and I felt safe again. I moved over on the bed and he sat on it with me. We sat there for a long time. My head on his chest and his arms holding me. I looked up at him and noticed how bad he looked. He hadn’t shaved and he had big bags under his eyes like he hadn’t slept at all. He also looked incredibly sad. I never wanted him to let me go.

 

I don’t know how long we sat like that but it was the happiest I had been since this all happened. Having him back was the best feeling ever.

The door opened but I didn’t look to see who it was.

‘Jack?’ Max said. We both looked now. Max walked over and pulled Jack into a hug. ‘I’m glad you’re out. I tried so hard to help you’

‘I know they told me. Thanks’

‘So what happened?’ I asked holding his hand. He pulled it away from and went and sat in the chair. What was that?

‘I’m not sure exactly. All I know is Caleb dropped the charges’

‘He was probably told to by his lawyer. Your stories matched perfectly and Caleb is now been charged with attacking you Beth, no jury would prosecute you Jack knowing you was just saving Beth’

‘How do you know that?’ I asked

‘I did pre law’

‘Seriously?’

‘Yeah but I didn’t like it’ so he went from Lawyer to physical therapist. ‘I’ll go and leave you two to chat. I’m sure you have a lot to talk about’

‘Bye Max thanks again for everything’ Jack said. I smiled at Max and he was gone.

‘Are you ok?’ Jackson asked from the chair.

‘Yeah I’m fine’ I lied.

‘Don’t lie to me Beth. I can’t handle anybody else lying’ He said getting up and pacing the room.

‘Ok ok’ I said trying to calm him down. ‘I hurt everywhere. I have the worst headache that just won’t go and every time I close my eyes I see his face staring back at me. It makes it hard to sleep. All I wanted was you and my own mother kept you away. I feel like complete shit Jackson but I’m also grateful that you got to me in time’

‘In time’ he snapped ‘I got there and he was about to…… you were covered in blood and you wouldn’t wake up. I didn’t get to you on time.’

‘It would have been a lot worse for me if you hadn’t got there when you did’

‘You’re just trying to make me feel better’

‘Wow you really are having your own little pity party aren’t you?’

‘What?’

‘Why would I make you feel better? I’m the one who was beaten up and almost raped. I’m the one who is still in hospital’ his face softened slightly ‘you’re supposed to love me and make me feel better and safe yet here you are making it all about you. Just kiss me and tell me that you love and you’ll never let anyone hurt me again. If you can’t do that then fuck off cos I can’t make you feel better when I feel like shit’

He didn’t know what to do. I could see on his face that he was struggling and I suddenly felt really bad for shouting at him. I was actually starting to panic a bit. What if he left just like I told him to?

‘Jackson please look at me’ he closed his eyes and lifted his head then looked at me. ‘When you walked in here I have never been more relieved or happy about anything ever. I felt safe again. None of this was your fault. I started it at the diner. I should never have hit him in front of everyone’

‘That doesn’t give him a right….’

‘….I know that Jackson. I’m not making excuses for him I’m making them for you. This was not your fault it was his’ he moved a few steps closer to me.

‘When can you leave?’ he asked.

‘Soon I think. I can’t use crutches because of my wrist which means I need a wheelchair’

‘I should have been paying more attention while I was driving’

‘The only thing the car accident did was the leg and the dislocated shoulder which I was in a coma so I didn’t feel that. Caleb did the ribs and the wrist. You got hurt too’ I said pointing to his arm.

‘Yeah my dad is not impressed my football season is over’

‘Do you care?’

‘Not really’ he said shrugging ‘I don’t think I will be able to push you in your wheelchair though’ he smiled but not fully.

I smiled back ‘Brooke can do it. She owes me for getting her home the other week’

He chuckled ‘that’s true’ he said.

‘Please don’t leave me’

‘What?’ he says coming closer to the bed.

‘I feel like you were trying to break up with me before’ I say looking right in his eyes. I remember the first time I looked in them on the Beach.

He doesn’t say anything.

‘So you were trying to break up with me?’ He still doesn’t say anything ‘were or still are?’

‘I don’t want to lose you Beth but’

‘But’ oh no no no no no

‘I just need’ he stops.

‘You need what? Come on tell me why you’re breaking up with me while I’m in a hospital bed’

‘Beth’ he said reaching for my hand. I pulled it away. ‘You don’t know what I went through’

‘Then tell me’ I pleaded.

‘I just need some time to process all of this’

‘You need time?’

‘Beth please’ he said coming closer again.

‘You know what I’m going to make this real easy for you, it’s over, get out’

‘No wait come on’

‘Get out’

‘What’s going on?’ said Brookes voice from behind Jack. I didn’t hear her come in. ‘Jackson your out. You look like shit. Charlie is on….’

‘Jackson’ I say interrupting. He looks at me and I start to cry. ‘Please just leave’

A single tear runs down his cheek. We stare at each other for a few minutes then he nods and walks out the door.

I start to sob uncontrollably. Brooke comes and sits next to me and I cry on her shoulder for what seems like hours.

 

Three weeks have passed since that day in the hospital. I miss him more every day. We have had no contact since that day and it kills me. Brooke says he isn’t doing much better than I am.

I got the cast off my leg today and had a boot fitted which means I can finally walk. I still have the cast on my wrist though. That was a bad break.

Getting the cast off means I have to go back to school tomorrow which means I will have to see him.

I was trying to forget about it till I had to deal with it by doing the work Brooke had brought round for me when Paige came in. She sat on the bed and waited for me to look up.

‘Their arguing again’ she said.

I felt sorry for Paige, I had messed everything up.

‘What about this time?’ I asked

‘Because Daddy adapted you without asking’

I smiled 'its adopted'

‘Adopted’ she mouthed the word silently.

‘What does that mean?’

‘It means he is my dad too’

‘Really? Why is Mummy mad then? Doesn’t that mean we are a proper family?’

‘Mum doesn’t see it like that’ I went and sat next to her. ‘I’m sorry they are fighting a lot it’s my fault.’

‘You miss Jackson’ it was completely out of the blue.

‘What makes you say that?’

‘I hear you crying and you look sad all the time. You were happy with him’

‘He made me very happy. I miss him every day’

‘He will come back to you. He is your prince’ she sounded so sure.

I didn’t want to talk about Jackson. ‘Do you want to watch a film before bed?’

She nodded. ‘Go pick one then’ and off she went.

Two hours later and Max came in. The film had just finished and I was starting to get tired. Paige fell asleep fifteen minutes in.

‘Want me to move her?’ He asked.

‘No she is fine’ I said. ‘You and Jessica need to stop fighting she is getting worried’

‘I’ll talk to her’ he looked so angry lately and it was my fault. He said goodnight and then left.

Charlie

Today was going to be one of them days. My alarm hadn’t gone off so I was up late. Jackson hadn’t bothered to check so had gone to school without me. I was still living at his house while my mum got better. I saw her last week and she looked great.

I couldn’t wait for her to be better so we could go home. Jackson was different since he went to jail. He wouldn’t talk to me about it or the fact that he and Beth broke up. I tried so hard to get him to tell me what happened. It was obvious it was killing him and yet he wasn’t doing anything about it. It was so odd.

I finally got to school just before the first bell which meant I had five minutes to get my stuff ready. I noticed Jackson at his locker so I went over.

‘Dude thanks for waiting this morning. My alarm didn’t go off and I was nearly late’ I said. He didn’t even look at me.

‘But you weren’t late so whatever’ he turned around and stopped dead. I followed his eyes and Brooke was standing behind him with Beth. She still had the pot on her hand but she was wearing some kind of boot contraption on her leg. Jackson did not say anything. He just stared at her.

She walked round him to her locker.

‘Nice boot’ I said trying to defuse the tension.

‘Thanks’ she said ‘I call him Roboboot’

‘Good name’ I said. I waited a few seconds for Jack to speak but he didn’t. ‘So you can walk again?’ I say

‘Yeah its fab’ she smiled but it wasn’t a full smile ‘I mean I can get out and about again and I don’t have to sleep in it so I might actually get some sleep’ she glances at Jackson who hasn’t taken his eyes off her.

‘Well good luck, first day back an all’

‘Thanks’ she takes some stuff out of her locker. She looks at Jackson with what I can only describe as hope in her eyes but when he doesn’t say anything she shakes her head and walks away.

‘What the fuck was that?’ I say to him when Beth is out of earshot.

‘What?’ he says finally looking at me.

‘Why you been such a dick?’

‘I’m not I just; I didn’t know what to say’

‘Hello is a good start’ I start to walk away from him but then I turn back around. ‘You know she didn’t want you. You fought for her against everyone and everything that said you couldn’t have her. She got a boyfriend and asked you to stay away but still you fought. You never gave up’ people had stopped and they were watching us. ‘You told me you wanted her and you got her at all costs and now here she is after one of the worst things that could happen to someone and you leave her to deal with that on her own. What happened to fighting for her? You were together and in love and you should have got through this together and instead you bailed on her. You’re a coward’

‘I am not a coward’ he said squaring up to me.

‘Are you gonna hit me for saying the truth?’

He stepped back ‘Jack mate you’re my best friend and I love ya man but you let her down and you let yourself down. This could have made you inseparable but instead you let it tear you apart. She will never forgive you you know? She told Brooke she couldn’t believe you hadn’t even sent a text asking how she is’

‘It’s too god damn hard Charlie’ he shouted and stormed off outside. I followed him. He turned round and looked at me ‘do you know what it’s like in one of them places? I’ll tell you it’s horrible.’

‘I don’t doubt it. I want you to tell me everything. Then you’re going to go find Beth and you’re going to tell her why your been such an ass and start fighting again.’ 

Jackson

 

He was right. I know what he is saying is right but it’s hard to relive it. I was only there six days but they were the longest of my life. We missed first period while I told him what happened. He was right though I had to talk to Beth. I had fought for her. I told her I loved her. I came between her and Freddie. I promised not to hurt her and then I did at the worst possible time too.

She was sat with Brooke and her friends at dinner so I couldn’t talk to her then. Last period was Biology and she was still my lab partner so I could try then.

She was already sat at the table when I got there. I went and sat next to her and the teacher came up behind me.

‘Beth nice to see you back’ Mr Hardaker said

She smiled but it wasn’t her real smile. ‘Here is all the work I did for your class while I was off’ she said pulling a folder out of her bag.

‘Thank you I will take a look at that later’ he took it from her and went back to the front of the class.

‘Hi’ I said.

She ignored me

‘I’m sorry’

She still ignored me

‘I’d like to explain why I haven’t been around’

Still she ignored me

‘Please Beth’

‘No’ she said looking at me finally

‘No?’

‘I.don’t.care’ she said looking away.

‘I love you’ I said

‘Course you do’ she said still looking to the front of the class.

‘I know you hate me right now and what I did was inexcusable but I would just like some of your time so I can explain’

‘I don’t hate you. That’s the problem’ just then the teacher started the class so we would have to finish our conversation after.

 

When class was finished we all started to pack up our stuff. Freddie came to our table.

‘You ready?’ he asked Beth.

‘Yeah sure’ she replied.

‘Beth?’ I said.

She turned to look at me. ‘You know where I live’ and she walked off.

‘You don’t deserve her’ Freddie said as he walked off behind her. Why was he taking her home? Where was Brooke?

I left school and went to my car. Charlie was stood waiting. He didn’t say anything; he just got in the car when I opened it. We went all the way to my house in silence.

When we went in the house we headed to the kitchen the same as always but this time we stopped before we went in. My mum was having a heated argument with Jessica. We looked at each other then leaned in closer so we could hear better.

‘You’re my best friend’ Jessica said.

‘Was’ My mum replied

‘We can’t get passed this?’

‘You sent my son to jail for something he didn’t do so no we can’t get passed it’

‘I miss you’

‘Whatever, just get out of my house’

‘Tammy come on. I’m truly sorry.’

‘It doesn’t matter. Get out of my house’

It was silent for a minute then the door flung open in front of us. We both stood dead still. She shook her head and walked past us. We both pulled a face at each other then went in the kitchen.

‘Hi boys you hungry?’ my mum asked when she spotted us.

‘Yeah I am’ Charlie said.

‘Actually I’m gonna get changed and see if Beth will go to dinner with me’

Charlie smiled but my mum looked worried.

‘Sweetie come here’ I walked over to her and she hugged me.

‘What was that for?’ I asked

‘I don’t want you to get your hopes up. I was talking to Max and he said Beth is in a bad place. She is putting on a brave face in front of people but it’s bad Jackson and you left her.’

‘I know I left her. I wish people would stop saying it like I don’t know’ I snapped.

‘I know this is tough but have you ever thought that maybe you’re not meant to be. I mean you’re only seventeen and your relationship fell apart at the first sign of trouble. I think you two should let it go’

‘Ha wow ok. That’s really what you think?’

‘I don’t want you to get hurt’

‘I’m already hurt’ I turned to Charlie ‘what do you think?’

‘Honestly?’ he asked. I nodded. ‘I get where your mum is coming from. It seem like you - both of you - went to a lot of trouble for a relationship that went south really fast but I don’t think I have ever seen you as happy as you were when you were with her so I would say you gotta try man. You’ll always regret it if you don’t’

‘You have gotten very wise lately’ I laughed. He walked over to me and pulled me into a hug which he has never done before. I hugged him back and then he looked at me.

‘I lost the person I love. I betrayed her and I hate myself for it. I can’t forgive myself because she can’t forgive me. If she forgives you then forgive yourself. You did everything you could that night. Just tell her what you told me earlier’

‘Ok’ I said not knowing what else to say. Had he always been this insightful?

I got changed got in my car and went straight to Beth’s. Max was reading the paper on the porch. I was more nervous about talking to him then Beth.

‘Well well well’ He said. ‘Look what the cat dragged in’

‘Hi’ was all I could say.

‘You’ve got some nerve’ he stood up. He looked like he was going to hit me. I would deserve it if he did. ‘She doesn’t want to see you’

‘She told me to come’ I say quietly.

‘Did she now? Did she tell you that she hasn’t slept in weeks? That when she finally does sleep she wakes up screaming in a hot sweat from nightmares. Did she tell you she is afraid to be in the house by herself? That we had to add extra locks so she felt safer?’ I didn’t say anything. ‘No you don’t know because you gave up on her, the one thing I asked you not to do’ just then the door opened and Beth was stood there.

‘It’s ok Max I can handle it from here’ she said.

Max nodded and headed into the house. ‘I don’t like you right now’ he said before he closed the door.

‘I don’t like me much either’ I said and he closed the door.

Beth was on crutches keeping her foot off the ground. She sat on the porch swing and put her foot on the little table. I grabbed a cushion and put it under her foot.

‘Where’s your boot thing?’ I asked.

‘I only need him when I’m walking so I try not to wear him in the house’

‘Him?’ I ask

‘Yeah, Roboboot’ she sighed. ‘Why are you here Jackson?’ She still called me Jackson. Everyone else called me Jack but she never did.

‘To explain’ I said sitting sideways so I could see her. ‘Do you wanna go get some food?’

‘I’ve already eaten but we could go for a drive somewhere’

‘Ok sounds good’

‘I’ll get Roboboot’ she says grabbing her crutches.

‘No need’ I say and I bend over and pick her up. She doesn’t seem too happy about it but she doesn’t stop me either. She puts one hand around my neck and the other holds the crutches. She is so close to me and can feel her breath on my face.

I help her into the car then get in myself and drive off. We don’t speak the whole way.

I pull up at the beach and she sighs again. I get out and go to the trunk. I put on my coat then get out a couple of blankets. I go round to Beth’s side and help her out the car.

She stands lent against it while I lock the car then I pick her up again and start to walk down the beach.

Once I get to where I want to be I set her down gently then put one of the blankets down for us to sit on then I help her sit down. I take the other blanket and wrap it round her shoulders. It’s going to get dark soon so it will get cold. We were having a very mild November.

‘Do you know where we are?’ I ask her.

She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. ‘We are at the beach’

‘Tut yeah I know I mean what part of the beach? Can you remember what happened here?’

She looks around for a minute then looks back at me ‘this is where you told me you loved me’

‘Yeah. I’ve been coming here a lot lately’

‘Why?’ she said looking out at the sea.

‘I have been trying to get back to the guy I was when I stood here and declared my love for you. He seems so far away at the moment’

‘If you hadn’t have left me I could have helped you find him. I miss him’ she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

‘I really want to kiss you’

She turned away.

I sighed. ‘I’m sorry that wasn’t fair’

‘Why didn’t you text me or anything?’ she sounded mad now.

‘I didn’t think you would want me to after the way we left it’

‘I thought you just needed a few days to be back in the real world and you would come back to me’

‘I wanted to. I drove past your house about five times a day but I couldn’t bring myself to come in’

‘But why?’

‘You deserve better than me Beth. I am a complete mess’

‘And you think I’m not?’ she was getting angry ‘what happened to me is just one thing on a very long list of why my life is shit. The only thing I had was you’

‘Brooke said you were going to tell me you loved me too’

She sighed again and looked back out to sea ‘It doesn’t matter now’

‘Of course it matters. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to say those words?’

‘Well I’m not going to say them now. You broke my heart’

‘Yeah I know’ we were both quiet for a few minutes ‘I broke my own too’ she turned her head to look at me.

‘Why did you do it? If it was gonna hurt this much then why?’ tears filled her eyes again.

‘That place they sent me to was horrible’ I lay back in the sand. I couldn’t bear to see her upset. ‘Some of the guys in there knew me. The called me superstar. Turns out I beat one of them at football last year and the paper called me an up and coming superstar. When they beat me the second time they were shouting ‘not a superstar anymore are you?’ and they made me throw a makeshift ball over and over again until I couldn’t lift my arm anymore’ I sat back up.

‘You didn’t have any bruises’ she said

I pull up my t-shirt and show her the light purple marks up my side ‘they were a lot worse before obviously’

‘They beat you twice?’

‘Three actually. Well two and a half. They guard saw them the third time’

‘You were only there 6 days’

‘They really didn’t like me’ I half smiled and she looked back out to sea.

‘Do you remember me telling you that I was sent to a correctional place once?’

‘Yeah after your dad died’ I had forgotten about that.

‘I got pretty badly beaten once in there. I went in with a bad attitude and the head girl said if I didn’t calm down she was gonna knock the attitude out of me but I didn’t listen. One day I said something I shouldn’t and whack straight on the nose. Now I can look after myself as you have seen but she was a beast. I had no chance. I woke up in the hospital wing the next day’ she looked back at me ‘I would have understood’

‘I was ashamed. They beat me and belittled me and humiliated me. I couldn’t face everyone telling me how good I had done in saving you so I just wanted everyone to leave me alone’

‘Even me?’ she said her eyes pleading with me.

‘When I got to the hospital I had no intention of breaking up with you. In fact I couldn’t wait to see you but when I did see you in that hospital bed I couldn’t handle it and I bailed’ I lay back down. This time she did the same. ‘My mum said we are not meant to be today’ I said turning my head to look at her ‘what do you think?’

‘Honestly?’ I nodded. ‘I think she has a point. We fell apart at the first sign of trouble. If you would have just told me what happened I would have given you the space you needed. We didn’t have to break up’

‘I know how badly I handled it but I came straight from there to you and I didn’t have time to process anything’ she sat back up. I did too. ‘I know how badly I handled it Beth and I regret it every day. Do you think you can forgive me?’

She moved closer and put her head on my shoulder. That was a good sign. ‘I guess we will see’ she was quiet for a while then said ‘we have to take it really slow this time. I need to trust you again. And I’m not your girlfriend. Not yet anyway ok?’

‘Yeah that’s great it’s more than I expected’

‘It’s more than you deserve but I need you’

‘I’ll take what I can get. I still love you’

‘Good’

 

We sat there for a long time talking and it felt good. I had missed it but I didn’t realise how much.

She told me she had to keep the boot on for a month and had about the same time left with the pot. She would have to do physical therapy for both but Max was going to help her.

‘He can help you too’ she said.

‘I don’t think he likes me very much right now’ I sighed. ‘I really wanted him to like me, right from the start I wanted his approval and I let him down’

‘You just have to earn his trust back just like with me’ she held my hand ‘he really likes you. That’s why he is so mad’

‘I let everyone down’

‘You had some issues and you had to deal with them your own way. Don’t beat yourself up about it’ she shivered.

‘Are you cold?’

‘I’m starting to get cold yeah’

‘I’ll take you home’ I stood up and brushed the sand off myself. I helped Beth up and picked up the blanket giving it a shake. I picked her up and carried her to the car.

When we set off she said ‘don’t take me home yet. Let’s go to yours and watch a film’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yeah I kinda don’t want this night to end’

‘Really? Me neither’

‘You sound surprised’

‘I guess I thought you wouldn’t want to be around me for a long time’

‘This is the only time I am going to say this ok?’ I nodded ‘you make me happy. I didn’t think I ever would be happy again. I was broken and you started to fix me and I liked that. But then you broke me again and I didn’t think I could get over that but then sitting here with you all night just felt so good and normal’

We drove for a little while in silence.

‘Do you remember when we got together?’ she says

‘After Charlie’s party?’ I say.

‘No’ she said laughing ‘not the first time we had sex. When we became official’

‘Oh after Brooke got drunk yeah of course I remember’

‘I told you I was scared because I didn’t want to get hurt again. I didn’t think I could handle it. Turns out I was right. I couldn’t handle it. You think you’re a mess? This is going to be hard Jackson. It’s going to be really tough. People are not going to want us together even more than before. I am probably going to be a bitch sometimes but I hope what were left with is just two people who are happy together no matter what. We are going to have to work hard at it but while we were apart and I hated you for hurting me my feelings for you never changed. So I’m willing to work for it if you are’

‘Of course I am’ I feel like I could fly. She was forgiving me.

‘You can’t leave me again’ she said looking at me. ‘if you think there is any chance that you might then take me home, but if you want to work on it then take me to yours’

Twenty minutes later we pulled up at my house. I helped her in the house and sat her on a stool in the kitchen while I went to the bathroom and got some DVDs from the bedroom. When I got back downstairs I could hear her talking to my mum. This was the second time today I had listened at this door.

‘What she did was wrong and she can’t come here and just expect me to forgive her. She put my son in jail’ my mum was saying.

‘I don’t know what happened before I came here but she just doesn’t like him. All the good stuff that happened between him and me and then what he did at that party. I mean he can say he didn’t do anything all he wants but he saved me and he is my hero. But Jessica just doesn’t like him. I don’t think she ever will’

‘Are you two back together?’ my mum asked.

‘No’ Beth said

‘Oh’ there was silence for a minute. ‘He loves you’

‘I know’

‘I know he hurt you’

‘That doesn’t matter now. We have put that in the past and we are focusing on the future. I want him in my future’ I get a weird feeling in my stomach.

‘Are you going to Max’s parents for Thanksgiving?’ my mum asked.

‘No actually I’m not. He asked me a month or so ago and I said no because we don’t celebrate it back home but after what happened over Halloween I have a lot to be thankful for’ I decided it was time to go in there.

‘Hey’ I said looking at them both.

‘Jack’ my mum said. ‘Why don’t you invite Beth for Thanksgiving on Thursday?’

Beth looked at me. Way to put me on the spot mum.

‘Ok, you could have asked you know’ I say laughing ‘Beth would you like to come for Thanksgiving’

‘I would love to’ she said smiling. The first real smile I think she has done since before that party.

Beth

 

I wake up feeling strange. Something doesn’t feel quite right and then I realise it is because I actually slept. I look at my clock to see the time but it’s not there. I sit up fast and look around. I calm down a little when I realise I am just in Jacksons shed.

He is asleep next to me. I nudge him a few times and he wakes up. He looks surprised to see me there.

‘Hey’ he says with a sleepy voice.

‘You better take me home. It looks like the sun is coming up’

He sits up and stretches. He takes off his t-shirt and grabs another to put on. I try not to look at his body but I can’t help it. Even with his arm in a pot he still does everything for himself. He can still drive too and he carried me about yesterday with complete ease.

He passed me my crutches and helps me up. We looked into each other’s eyes for a long time. I know he wanted to kiss me but I wasn’t ready for that yet. I kissed his cheek then started to hobble to the door. He came over and picked me up and carried me to his car.

We didn’t talk until we got to my house.

‘Shall I come back and pick you up before school?’ he asked.

‘No Brookes coming’

He nodded ‘how come Freddie brought you home yesterday?’

I smiled. I bet he had been waiting ages to ask me that ‘Brooke had a cheerleading thing and I was saying I would wait for her and Freddie overheard and offered’

‘Ok’ he said. He didn’t look convinced but it was the truth.

He helped me out of the car and up to the house.

‘You better not come in in case they are waiting up’ I say

‘Yeah that’s probably a good idea’ he says. I turn to face him when we get to the door. ‘See you at school’ he says and he leans in and kisses the side of my mouth. Just like when we first met.

I watch him walk down the driveway and get in his car. After he has driven away I go in the house.

Jessica is asleep on the sofa. I am actually shocked she waited up for me. Max comes out of the kitchen and motions for me to follow him back in.

When I get in there I sit on one of the stools. He makes me a cup of tea and sits opposite me. I take a sip and wait for him to speak.

‘Where is your phone?’ he asks me.

‘In my pocket’ I reply.

‘Does it work?’

‘Yeah’

‘So why did you not let us know where you were?’ ah that’s what he is getting at. I don’t say anything. I feel like a child. ‘The last time you went out by yourself you didn’t come back. I was really worried’

‘I’m so sorry’ I felt really guilty. I didn’t even think about that. ‘I fell asleep. I know that’s a really shitty answer but it is the truth’

‘You were with Jack?’

‘Yeah’

We sat in silence for what seemed like forever.

‘You still love him?’ Max asked.

I thought about that for a minute. Did I still love him? Could I forgive him? Did I want to?

‘All I know is I haven’t been able to breath properly while we were apart and last night I felt like I had finally caught my breath. Also I slept. Right through the night. No waking up, no nightmares, no cold sweats. I just slept’ he looked deep in thought ‘nothing happened. We didn’t even kiss’

‘You talked things over?’

‘I guess. It’s not going to be easy’ I thought about what Jacksons mum had said ‘can I ask you a question?

‘Yeah sure’

‘Will you be completely honest with me?’

‘Yeah if you want me to be’

‘I do’ he nodded. ‘Tammy said she thinks we should give up. That it’s not meant to be. How do you feel?’

He thinks for a minute and I sit drinking my tea waiting.

‘I think that when two people are supposed to love each other as much as you two did then the relationship shouldn’t break down the way it did’

I put my head down

‘Having said that. You are both young and you both dealt with it the best way you knew how. I don’t know how I would have dealt with that’

‘I feel like he gave up on us. Like I was clinging on for dear life and he just let me fall’ a tear rolled down my cheek and I brushed it away. ‘How do I know if I can trust him again?’

‘I guess only you can decide that. Personally I don’t think he will let you down again if you give him another chance’

‘I don’t either’

‘So what is holding you back?’

I sigh ‘It’s not just that I don’t know if I can trust him or if I still love him. It’s if I want to’ I rub my hands over my face ‘urgh this is so shit. Why did he have to do this? Why break up with me then just as I’m starting to feel ok tell me you still love me’

‘I think not seeing you made it easier for him and then he sees you at school and all those feelings he had come rushing back to the surface. You can’t deny the connection you two have. It’s just a matter of figuring out if it’s worth it’

‘If we can get back to what we were before then it will be worth it’ when I was with him everything was perfect. Now we are apart again I am questioning everything. ‘We are not back together and this reunion -if that’s what it turns out to be- will be a slow one’ I stand up ‘I am off to his for thanksgiving’

‘Oh good I didn’t want to leave you here alone’

‘Then I’m going home for Christmas so the time away after that might just be what we need’

‘Have you told him you’re leaving yet?’

‘No’ he was not going to take it well. ‘I’ll tell him after Thanksgiving. I’m going to get ready for school’

 

‘So last night I had sex with Charlie’ Brooke says completely out of the blue. We are in her car on the way to school and we were talking about our math homework.

‘What? How did we get from algebra to sex?’

‘I don’t even know how it happened’

‘Walk me through it’ I say

‘Ok so we have this History assignment due and we were paired up so he invited me to his house because his mum still is not there and it would be quiet’ I nod along so she knows I’m listening but I don’t speak. ‘I told you he was painting his bedroom and getting rid of the furniture so nothing would remind me of Maddie right?’

‘Yeah’ I say quickly

‘Well when I walked in it wasn’t just that he had erased Maddie I felt like he had erased us too. Anyway I got really upset and tried to leave and he was blocking the door and I was shouting something about all those memories that we shared in there and I think he kissed me just to shut me up. Next thing I knew we were having sex. When it was over I just left’

‘Erm…you just…you just walked out. Why?’

‘Don’t judge me. You walked out after you and Jack had sex for the first time’ she snapped

‘Calm down’ I say ‘that was totally different and you know it’

‘Sorry’ she says as we pull up to the school

‘Tell me why you left’

She sighed. ‘Afterwards we were laying there and I felt really happy but then I remembered what he did and I realised that I still love him. I didn’t know how to deal with that with him right next to me so I ran’

‘I guess that is understandable. He is going to want to talk to you today though, you know that right?’

‘Yeah I know. I keep trying to figure out if it’s worth it. If loving him is worth it’

I was just about to tell her that I knew how she felt when she screamed and started to punch the steering wheel. I sat back in shock. This was really out of character for her and I was worried.

When she stopped she looked at me and laughed

‘That felt good’ she said and got out the car.

‘What the hell was that?’ I asked getting out the car.

‘I just felt like I needed to scream’

Today was the last day of school before the break for Thanksgiving. The school was half empty with a lot of people leaving early to go visit relatives.

Max, Jessica and Paige were setting off tonight so I was going to be home alone for the first time since Halloween. I had asked Brooke to stay with me but she was also leaving tonight to go to her Grandmas. I thought about asking Jackson but I didn’t want him to get the wrong impression.

‘Do you think I should ignore Charlie till I get back?’ Brooke asked me when we got to my locker.

‘No’ I said. ‘Go find him now and explain’

‘Hey’ it was Jackson I could tell straight away. I turned around and he was opening his locker.

‘Hey’ I said. ‘Brooke look he is at his locker. Go do it now. Rip the band aid off. The quicker the better’

‘Ok your right im gonna do it’ and off she went.

‘What was that about?’ Jackson asked me.

‘Did you speak to Charlie last night?’

‘No he stayed at his own house last night’

‘Yeah so did Brooke’ I smiled as the realisation crossed his face.

‘Wow’ we both laughed

We watched the most awkward conversation ever in the history of conversations. They spoke for a few minutes then both ran off in opposite directions. We laughed again.

‘Well I better get to class’ Jackson said.

‘Wait’ I said and he stopped right in front of me. We were a bit closer then we should be so I stepped back one step. ‘What are you doing tonight?’

‘Nothing. My grandparents are coming in today so I’ll be hiding’

I smiled ‘Do you want to come to my house? Jessica and Max are leaving to go to his parents and I don’t want to be alone’

‘Yeah that sounds great. Shall I get some films?’

‘Yeah nothing too scary though and I’ll get some dinner’

‘I can’t wa…..’

‘What?’ please don’t say you can’t come

‘What about Max?’

‘What about him?’

‘I should ring him. I mean you said I have to win him back too so I better just make sure’

I nearly laughed ‘ok phone him at lunch. What about Charlie?’

‘He is going to his dads tonight’ I could tell he was thinking about what to say to Max.

‘I’ll see you at lunch’ I say walking off and leaving him there.

Jackson

 

‘Hello’ Max answered

‘Max its Jack’

‘What’s up?’ straight to the point ok

‘Beth asked me to come round tonight so she isn’t on her own and I said I would but I just wanted to check with you that it was ok’

He was silent. What did that mean? 

‘Jackson I know how much Beth means to you but you betrayed her trust and left her when she needed you the most. I fought your corner over and over again with Jessica and all the people who said you would hurt Beth. I said no way would he do that he loves her. I look a fool now do you understand?’

‘Yeah’ what else could I say?

‘Because I don’t want her to be alone when she isn’t comfortable yet then you can come round but I don’t trust you’

‘I understand’ 

‘I don’t think you do Jack’ I stayed silent. ‘I went against my wife for you. When Beth was in the hospital I was constantly on the phone to my lawyer friends trying to help you. That lawyer you have is one of my best friends’ I didn’t know that. ‘I spoke to the police, I came to see you, and I tried everything to get you out. I adopted Beth so she could speak to the police as soon as she woke up. My wife has not spoken to me since except to scream at me. I did all that for you and what did you do? You ran away’ 

I took a deep breath ‘Max I know that there is nothing I can do to make that right. There is no amount of sorry that will ever make what I did ok. I know that. I knew that the minute I left the hospital. I should have gone back in, I really wanted to. The way she looked at me broke my heart. For the last 3 weeks I haven’t been able to get that look out of my head. I was going to just leave her to get on with her life but our lockers are next to each other and when I saw her I knew I had to get her back. I know you don’t trust me and I know she doesn’t. She said she wants to take things slow but I am not sure if that means it will never happen. All I know is that for the rest of my life I am going to do everything in my power to gain back her trust. And yours’

‘That’s a big speech Jack’

‘I mean every single word’

‘Ok well you may come and keep her company. You sleep on the couch though’

‘Of course’ I smiled

‘Oh and Jack’

‘Yeah’

‘If you ever hurt her again I will make sure she never speaks to you again’

‘I swear I won’t’

‘Ok then. Happy Thanksgiving Jack’

‘Same to you Max’

He hung up. Wow that was tough. I’m late to lunch so take off at a fast walk so Beth doesn’t think I have forgotten.

I walk into the cafeteria and look at her normal table. She is there with Brooke and Charlie and Freddie. He is sat next to her. I look at the way he is turned towards her with his arm around the back of her chair. He was trying to worm his way back in.

I walk over and sit next to Brook opposite Beth.

‘I spoke to Max’ I say

‘Oh yeah’ she smiles ‘how was it?’

‘Emotional hell’ I say and her, Brooke and Charlie laugh ‘anyway he said I can come over tonight’

Beth smiled.

‘What’s that?’ Freddie asked

‘Jackson is coming to mine for dinner tonight and we are going to watch a movie’ Beth said smiling at me. I smiled back at her.

‘Then she is coming to mine for Thanksgiving’

‘Oh ok’ Freddie said. Then he packed up his stuff and said he had to go.

‘What’s his deal?’ Charlie asked.

‘He probably thought he had a chance with Beth now her and Jack split’ Brooke said.

‘I don’t think it would be fair to put him through all that again do you?’ Beth said.

‘What do you mean?’ Charlie asked.

‘I’m just not interested’ she said. Her comment made me smile.

 

I was at my locker waiting for Beth to come to hers so we could walk to Biology together. I saw her walking towards me and I smiled. Just then out of nowhere Freddie opened the door to a classroom and pulled her in. I ran towards the classroom door and heard them arguing.

‘I don’t understand what it has to do with you?’ Beth was saying.

‘I just don’t understand’ Freddie said.

‘You don’t need to’ she started to walk toward the door. ‘I’m sorry I hurt you I really am and I’m sorry if you thought because Jackson and I broke up that you had another chance with me but since the day I got here Jackson is the only person I have wanted. I need him in my life. I know he hurt me and so does he but you don’t know what we went through together. I would like it if we could be friends but I understand if you can’t’ she opened the door. ‘Oh and one more thing. Don’t ever drag me into a classroom again’ she walked out and saw me stood there. ‘Ready for class?’ ignoring that I was clearly listening.

We got into class and took our seats. We were chatting about tonight and laughing when Freddie walked past us. I actually felt sorry for him. I knew what it felt like to love Beth but not have her and it sucks. He looked sad.

‘So you don’t care what I cook tonight?’ she asked pulling me back to her.

‘No anything will be fine’ I say half smiling.

‘You ok?’

‘Yeah I’m fine’ I said ‘I just feel bad for him’

‘It’s not your fault Jackson its mine. I led him on and it wasn’t fair’

‘I just know what it’s like to love you and lose you’ she blushed and looked like she was going to say something but the teacher spoke.

 

After class I asked her if she wanted a ride home but she said no and that Brooke was taking her. She told me to come round around seven and then she walked away. I went home and went straight to my room. After half an hour my dad put his head round the door.

’You got a sec?’ He asked.

’Yeah sure’ I said putting down my book. He walked in and sat at the end of my bed. 

‘Your mum tells me your friend Beth is coming for Thanksgiving’ I don’t say anything. This is weird. He has never come and talked to me about anything other than football. ‘I’m worried about your grandfather. He dosent know that she is the reason you got hurt and if he finds out then I’m afraid he might say something to her’.

’it isn’t her fault I got hurt’ i say sitting forward. ‘What else should I have done? Should I have left her there incase I ruined my chaces of making MVP this year’ I got up and walked to the door. I was angry but I didn’t want fight the first time we had a real conversation. ‘If pops is upset that I broke my arm saving the girl I love then who cares. As long as Beth loves me then he can do one’

’Do one?’ He asks.

’Its something Beth says’

’He’s your grandfather’

’Hes also incredibly jugdemental’ I walk out then and go to shower and get ready for Beth’s. 

Its so typical that he wants me to hide what happened from pops. If football was all my dad cared about then pops was worse. Tomorrow was going to be horrible.

I showered and dressed and headed to Beth’s. 

When she answered the door I realised I was nervous. She smiled and let me past her. I could hear football on in the living room so I went in. She was watching Soccer. I’d seen her watch Football with Max but she didn’t ever look interested. She came in with some drinks and set them down on the table.

’What you watching?’ I ask.

’Football’ she says walking back in the kitchen.

Ive never watched a Soccer game before. It looks like England are playing. She comes back and puts 2 pizzas on the table. 

‘Max recorded it for me because of the time difference’ she said sitting down.

’You like Soccer?’ I asked 

‘Football’ she said taking a slice of pizza. I did the same ‘yeah I like it’

’Huh’

’What?’

’I’m just Surprised is all. I thought you didn’t like sports?’

’I never said that’ she said eating the pizza. 

‘You don’t like Football’

’Just because I don’t like American Football doesn’t mean I don’t like sports’

’So what sports do you like?’ I asked.

’Cricket, tennis, basket ball, rugby’

’Well aren’t you just full of surprises’

’I would love to go to a Wimbledon final’ she hasn’t taken her eyes off the game.

’Come on, go, go, oh god that was shit’ she shouts.

’Ive never seen you like this’ I say. ‘Who’s your team?’ I ask.

’Leeds United’ she says ‘I used to go to the games with my dad when they played at home. Whenever England played we always watched together with a pizza’ she looked down ‘He loved football’

I put my hand on hers and squeezed.

We watched for awhile in silent. I was thinking about tomorrow. I wanted Beth to come for thanksgiving but I wish I could just be the two of us.

’Whats up?’ She asked.

’I dont know it’s just something my dad said earlier bothered me’ I had never lied to her before so I wasn’t going to start now. She looked at the tv while there was some cheering but looked right back at me. ‘You know I told you my dad only had any interaction with me unless it’s to do with football 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.04.2016

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