~Chapter one~

I woke with a start, breathing so heavily that it scared me. I had been dreaming of death. In fact, it was about my only love, Link, who I haven’t seen in almost a year. I was dreaming that he was on a cliff, dangling as he held onto my hand and both of our hands were sweaty from the intenseness of the moment. He was breathing heavily as I had been when I awoke, and I knew that he was close. In my dream, I had lost my grip, or he had, and he fell to his death, stopping my heart in the middle of a heart beat.
I sat up, scared to death of what I was dreaming, knowing that Link had dreamt the same thing, which also means that this would happen in real life as long as we are together. I didn’t want that to happen. I couldn’t let that happen because I love him more than anyone in the world besides my father, who was probably up again even when though it is in the middle of the night. Lately he has been restless, not sleeping or eating, and I think he knows that I am leaving him soon.
I didn’t want to leave my warm bed, even though I never liked the bed because it always made me think of things I didn’t want to think about. Like the dream I just had that made a chill run up my spine as I thought of it again.
I yanked the covers off of my sweating body and rushed to my bathroom where I splashed some freezing cold water on my face. It didn’t help at all. I couldn’t sleep anymore now that I had that dream, so I got dressed and I slowly opened my bedroom door, just in case my dad was still up. He was, and I cursed under my breath.
He heard me, which I knew he would. “Paradise, is that you?” My dad’s head pops out of his room and smiles when he sees me.
I nod. “Yes, it’s me. I couldn’t sleep. I think I need some air,” I managed to choke out. I never liked to tell my dad things like my dreams and Link and everything that has happened to me in the past year, even if part of it was true about needing some air. I did need some. I needed to feel the cold against my skin, where it felt sharp and painful. I needed that.
My dad gave me a worried look and frowned. He knew I was lying about something. “Paradise, don’t you lie to me. I know something is up. I could hear you screaming in your sleep a few minutes ago. He’s here, isn’t he?” My dad looks around the corner of the hall way, as if someone was there. “You know how I feel about this, Paradise. I don’t want you to go with him. I did the same thing as you did and now look where that got me. I never wanted to start a family because I knew the same thing would happen to you that happened to me and your mother. I lost your four brothers to those people and your just acting like nothing even happened. It hurts me every day to see you because you look so much like your mother.”
He stopped talking as I turned away from him. He has given me this speech so many times. You see, we are different from other people. We are humans, but then again, I wasn’t so sure that we are. We are called humans now, but we used to be called something else, that my father refuses to tell me. Since my dad refuses to tell me what we are called, and Link has no idea what we are called, I call us Aliens. I mean, what else would we be?
Anyways, when an alien is born, we are mentally and physically attached to someone from the opposite sex. I was attached to Link and he I. When someone is attached to another, they can think the same thoughts, and hear each others thoughts. We can also move in synch. For example, if I was to move out of my bed, he would move out of his at the same time. Sometimes, we can breathe at the same time too. Sometimes we can know what is going to happen to each other, and that is what happened tonight. I dreamed of his death.
“Dad, I just need some air. That’s all. He isn’t going to come back to me,” I said, knowing that Link told me that. So technically, I wasn’t lying about that. But I knew he would come back to me because it was impossible to stay away from someone that you are attached to. It hurts every single day without him, and I know that he feels the same way. “He told me he would stay away from me because of you. It’s your fault that he isn’t here anymore!” I am screaming at him now. I cannot help it. He caused me so much pain because he didn’t want to disrespect you just because you’re my dad!”
My dad looked at me, knowing what I was saying was the truth. He didn’t want me to be near him because he knew he would probably never see me again.
“Yes, I know that, Paradise. I don’t want you near him. He is trying to change you and I don’t want you to change.” He looks at me, his eyes burying deep into mine, his golden eyes telling me that if I was to leave, he would never forgive me. He should know that I was leaving very soon, but he doesn’t because he is in denial.
“Dad, you cannot stop us. It’s highly impossible to stay apart now matter how many times you make us move. We can find each other if we were on a different planet or in a different galaxy. I hate that you deny it,” I say, allowing some tears to fall onto my cheeks. “I want a normal life too, but this is what I am, and there isn’t anything stopping it from being what it has to be, daddy. I love you, but I am going to leave with him soon. We need to find out more and when I do, we will come back to you. I just want you to trust me, and I know you don’t because you’re afraid that if I leave you, I won’t want to be near you anymore. That isn’t true. I love you because you’re my father and I love him because I have to. I was born to love both of you. So please, just let me leave. I need to do this. There won’t be anything to stop you if you try to keep me here.” I am begging now. I have to beg, or at least try. If he let me go, I would be so happy, but if not, then I would just find a way to leave without him knowing.
I don’t wait for him to say anything because I rush to the back door and I yank it open, feeling the coldness on my skin. I run outside, my bare feet getting soaked from the damp grass under my feet. I see Link on the outside of my fence and my heart skips a ton of beats, making me smile from ear to ear. I run to him and we hug.
He sighs into my hair and whispers into my ear, “God, did I miss you, Paradise. You have no idea how long I have been looking for you!”
I’m practically crying. “I missed you too, Link. I was feeling like a zombie ever since you left, like I lost a part of my heart.”
Link nods into my neck. “Me too, me too.”
“Paradise.” I hear my father behind me and it makes me jump. I turn to look at my father and I notice that as I looked up at him, he had redness in his eyes. Maybe it was from crying or something, but I didn’t really want to know. Link tenses as we take a step into my yard.
Its okay, Link. I think he just wants to talk to us. I say to Link through a telepathic message.
I don’t know, Paradise. He doesn’t look very happy with us. Didn’t you tell him that we cannot stay away from each other? I mean, it’s not like we have a choice.
I nod.
“Paradise. Your right. It’s impossible to stay away from someone you love with all of your heart. I am so proud of you, you know. I just want what is best for you. When you were begging to let you go with him, I didn’t know what to say. I’m sorry.” He looked at loss for words. I could tell that it was hard for him to say what he had just said, and it surprised me. I think that it surprised Link too because I could feel his tenseness lessen as I looked at my dad. He was at least ten feet away from me and Link and I don’t think that he wanted to come any closer to us. It probably hurt him to come closer.
“Dad…” I managed to squeak out. I choked some tears back into my throat and Link held me in place as I almost lose my grip on him and fall to the ground. My legs and arms and knees felt like jelly. This is what I wanted my dad to say the first time that we talked about this, but I knew he wouldn’t. I am shocked that he even said what he just said. “You really mean that?”
My dad laughs nervously, then shakes his head. “I don’t agree with any of this, but you’re not going to stop until I let you go. I know that you can go where ever you want now that you’re eighteen, but I just didn’t want you to leave me like your mother did.”
I felt tears falling on my cheeks and I let go of Link, but he grabbed my wrist.
I don’t think that you want to go close to him. Look at him, Paradise. He doesn’t look so good. What if he tries to do something to you? Link says.
I shake my head and he lets go, knowing that I trust my dad and that I knew he won’t do anything to me.
I walk over to my dad and we hug tightly, knowing that it would probably be the last hug that we give each other.
I look up at him. “Dad, I want to say thank you. All I wanted was for you to see that I needed to do this and live my life without your permission. That’s all I wanted.”
He nods, but doesn’t say anything else. I know he feels all alone inside ever since my mother died and I know that I am a splitting image of her, and it hurts my dad every time he looks at me. I feel bad for him, knowing how it feels to be away from someone that you are attached to. Yes, my dad is attached to my mother, but she died, and now he has to live out his life in misery without her.
My dad pushes me away from him lightly and I know that he is letting me leave.
I give him a weak smile, but he isn’t looking at me. He is looking at the ground, knowing that if he looked at me, he would start crying, and I know how much my dad doesn’t like to cry.
I can feel Link’s heart racing as I backup without taking my eyes off of my dad. He grabs my hand and I rest my head on his shoulder as he walks us to the gate separating the yard from the sidewalk.
I don’t care if I leave everything I have back at home because I didn’t even need any of that. I didn’t need any money or clothes or food or anything where I was going. I didn’t need anything but Link and myself, then I would be fine.
I lifted my head up to take one more look back at my house that I was leaving behind and I saw my dad on his knees, crying, his fists clenching. I felt a pang of guilt inside me, and I knew that Link felt the same way.
“Link, what are we going to do? What is this going to do to us?” I ask, looking into Link’s beautiful blue eyes. I sigh when he looks at me. I just love the way he looks at me.
Link shakes his head. “I don’t know, Paradise. I don’t know. I just thought you would want to find out more about yourself or something. We cannot just run from this.”
I nod.
Yeah, I know. But I somehow deep inside I really don’t want to know and I just want to have a regular life. Don’t you? I ask.
He nods, knowing exactly what I mean. Yes, I do. But you know that isn’t going to happen. But what if we did have a regular life? We wouldn’t know each other and we would fall in love with different people and never know who we really were supposed to be. What about that? Link says, as I frown and think about it.
“I don’t know. I think that we would run into each other anyways.”
“What do you mean?” Link asks, frowning as he thinks.
We are walking down the street in the middle of the night, holding each others hands. It felt so great.
“I mean that I think that our relationship is more than an attachment. If we were meant to be together, then we are and I think that we are. So if we are meant for each other, then we would find each other no matter what.”
Link smiled and we stopped in the middle of the street and kissed me. I hadn’t kissed him since the last time we saw each other, which was almost a whole year ago and it felt like the first time that we ever kissed.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.10.2011

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