The Bird's Recollections

The flames engulfed the house like a beast that had been starved for centuries. The flames that were reflected in the little girls eyes were also reflected in her tears. She was taken by the many firefighters that surrounded the buildings. The firefighters were trying to tame the red beast and save everyone nearby but, it was now over for the girl because this little girl may have been saved from the fire but not her mind. She was gone and she probably could never be saved.

She must now be a bird that stays in an open cage. For eternity.

My life was tedious. I lived a simple, but wonderful, life. I liked my simple lifestyle. I had never felt any pain or loss. I lived a sheltered life. My parents protected me from harm. My older brothers did the same. This all changed when I had to go to an orphanage.

My family spoiled me too much. They spoiled me to the very end. This was the thought that coursed through my mind every second that I took a step and tried to erase my past.

The Bird In The Small Cage

A fire was started by accident in my house. My family had sacrificed themselves to save me. It was my fault that they died. I was only six years old. This was seven years ago. Everyone said that it was such a terrible thing that such a young child had to experience this, but I knew what they really thought. They thought that I would forget it all in a few weeks. I pretended to forget just to make them feel a sense of correct judgement.

I have a question though. Would you be able to forget your loved ones? Inside my mind I had not forgotten a single thing about my family. I forced myself to to remember every single thing about them, even the bad things. The last memory I had with my family was when I fought with my family for a stupid reason.

It was my birthday and I was mad because my family was coddling me too much. I told them to leave me alone. They did give me my space. It was only when the fire spread when one of my brothers came to my room and carried me outside. He rushed me out the door and went inside to wake the others up. I regret not begging my brother to stay outside with me so much. I wanted to atleast save one of the people I loved.

I miss every little bit of my family. The way I was spoiled and how much of a close knit family we were. My mom, dad and brothers had made a special stuffed animal. It was my favorite animal, a wolf. I still carry it around with me. I can't forget a single thing about my family or else then like a candle being blown at by a strong wind, my memories of them will be snuffed out and my family won't exist. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that my family will be gone forever.

As time goes on I am being consumed by the sadness within me. I want to let go of the memories, so the spirits of my family don't need to worry, but I can't. As I walk down the cold, hard hallway of the orphanage, I wonder if I can keep my eyes dry as everyone glares at me because I had a family and a place to call home while they were left alone weeks after they were born. People say life is a cruel mistress and I couldn't agree with them more.

Life toys with you until it's bored, then you die when it tosses you away. Many people understand this feeling when they grow old, but some people learn this at a young age. Those that do learn this at a young age are very unfortunate. Outside the rain was falling down hard. You could hear the pitter-patter of the drops fall on the windows and roof. The leaks from the roof made the floors wet and slippery, causing my barefooted self to trip over repeatedly. At the sight of me tripping the children started to laugh and whisper.

I was almost alone all of the time. Except when the new kids came, they would talk to me, that is until they heard the rumors of how my parents died. In the rumors I was the one who had set the fire. Apparently I was the troublemaker in my family. I had treated my parents coldly and had burned down the house when I was mad. When hearing all those lies, the kids that talked to me avoided me and stared at me like a wild animal. At this, I had always felt my heart being squeezed by a strong hand resisting to let go.

The Bird Meets A-Could-Be Friend

As the days went on a new staff member was added to the orphanage to help around with the kids. The orphanage had a school so he was sent to work there. In class I was reading a book about a tribe of wolves that were going at war with others. I was reading a fiction novel that was advanced for children my age.

In the classroom many things were happening: a boy was making paper airplanes and throwing them across the classroom, another girl was playing with her friend in the corner of the room, a paper airplane flew across the room and hit the girl in the head, a fight erupts in the class and the door opened, a big bowl of water somehow got involved into the fight and landed right upon the head of the new teacher. Everyone froze. Of course the teacher was looking a bit mad. I mean who wouldn’t be mad about being hit in the head with a bowl, then getting completely drenched from head to toe. I was waiting to see what the teacher was going to say.

For a while I was acting like the other kids thinking, Is he a nice teacher who doesn’t yell at kids even if they do bad things or is he the kind that yells at kids no matter what? These and many other questions were attacking my brain. For once I could not find the answer to this problem. I was sitting there waiting to see how he would react. After waiting a bit he lifted his head to see us. There was a smile planted on his face.

"Now, now children. Sit down in your seats while I get everything ready please." I rested my head on my hand as I waited for this class to start so it could end. All the kids started to sprint towards their seats. He wrote his name on the blackboard, his name was William Aecker. I sat there staring at the name waiting for the roll call to end. His handwriting was neat and readable, with slight smudges because he wrote with his left hand. As he was taking roll I overheard the girls whispering about how young he was to be a teacher. This kind of gossip reminded me of the gossip spread among housewifes.

"Um, I don’t know about this name… Celestia…Suh-bah-ro?" A wave of laughter erupted from the class. William looked flustered. I raised my hand. He smiled at me weakly and nodded his head. "Excuse me," Just then the class was completely silent. "But the correct pronunciation is Subaru. I am Celestia Subaru. "I stared at him unblinking,waiting for him to do something. He just looked at me with a blank expression, then meekly said "I’m sorry. I will make sure that I will remember that name." At the end of that sentence he smiled. This man was filled with smiles no matter the situation.

We learned things that were of importance to the school and teachers but to me it was a waste of time. As the bell rang I got up and packed my things. Everyone rushed to the door knocking over anyone in their way. I was slowly walking my way over and as I was about to reach the exit when William called out to me. I turned and waited for him to speak. "If you have nothing to say let me leave." I said this coldly trying to make him mad or scared. It didn’t work. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to bother or offend you. By the way what is the origin of your name?" He said this with a timid look on his face. Even though I don't like people mentioning anything about my past, I decided to humor him.

"My family is a mix of people from Europe and Japan. My mother is European and my father is Japanese. That is why my last name is japanese. The reason my first name is Celestia is because my mother wanted me to grow up strong, beautiful, smart and sophisticated. Not unlike most celestial beings." I looked up at him as he was looking at me. His smile was a warm, gentle smile. The smile felt like the sun's rays on your face during a cold season. "Your mother must have loved you alot." I was shocked. No one had ever mentioned my parents in front of me.

"You don't know anything so why are you smiling like that!?" I screamed it out as loud as my lungs could handle. I was mad, my face was flushed. In all reality I was glad that he was the way he was with all his smiles. "You don't know anything! The kids at this school are afraid of me. They are so afraid that they try to ridicule me!" My cheeks were damp from the hot, salty tears streaming down my face. My voice was getting hoarse. I couldn't stand it. My hands were clenching tightly into small fists

He seemed shocked at first. He then smiled at me gently then said, "I never meant to make you cry or feel uncomfortable." He patted my shoulder gently and smiled. I was glad. He was just like I thought he would be which was good and bad. It was good that he was kind but one day he might get hurt. I wiped the tears away from my eyes with the back of my hand and scowled at him. "Hmph, I wasn't crying, I just got dust in my eyes. But, if I was crying, that doesn't leave this room." I walked briskly to the door leaving with a new feeling in my heart, happiness.

The Bird Reborn

I had grown used to my new routine of staying after class to have a rivoting conversation with William. We offered each other topics and debated on how these things were essential to not only our well-being but also for the mind and soul. We would sit there working and talking just debating. I would occasionally suprise myself with a curl of my lips after a few of his remarks.

"Your smile is really beautiful. You should smile more often." He grinned at me with his chin resting on his hands clasped together. I felt my face heat up and moved my mouth to speak yet no sound came out. I hadn't been complimented by anyone for years and it was wonderful to feel something other than sadness, pain and fear. My heart had welled inside me and I was about to smile with all my heart. That was until a pudgy old man with a round stomach and a tall pipe hat came in to talk to William. His voice boomed very loudly as though he were a foghorn sounding to remind others where he was.

"Mr. William, I need to have a moment alone with you. Please dismiss this child so she can get along with her work." The headmaster had said this while puffing out his chest reminding me of those red-breasted birds that would blow up their chest to an immense size during mating season. I couldn't help but glare at him. William saw this, of course, and sent me off with a smile as I grumbled to myself involving various different names that should not be thought by a young lady. As I walked by I could smell a pungent cologne that could have stunned a large elephant with just a small amount, no less than a drop that is. I crinkled my nose in disgust.

Anyone knowing my mind and behaviors would've known that I was outside the door listening quietly while peering in. The pudgy headmaster was twirling his short, snow white beard and as he talked his stomach bounced with great heaving, as though he was being bounced on. William seemed very professional at that moment with a smile on his face he spoke very precisely with an adult-like air around him. I couldn't hear what they were saying (but I could smell the cologne, too well I might add) so I inched closer, reluctantly, to the door only to be picked up by the collar like a dog and carried all the way to my room by a hall monitor.

I was furious. I had failed to eavesdrop on their conversation leaving me distracted in class. I was wondering Is this what would take for me to give up? No! I would not give up. I was concocting plan after plan looking for the problems and solutions until I decided on the best one. I was called on many times in class after I was too busy to listen but, strangely enough I knew all the answers. It seemed as though I had subconsciously been listening to the class or I had known all the answers already.

After class I was going to confront William about what was spoken that night but when everyone else left and I was left behind he had ushered me out of the room giving me a lecture on how a proper young lady should be in her room instead of walking about in the middle of the night. I was contemplating on whether to tell him it was the middle of the afternoon or to just leave it be. As I was opening my mouth to tell him the time of day I could hear heavy footsteps resound within the hallway. The footsteps could only be described as the sound of a herd stampeding by, only this herd was walking very, very slowly. As the headmaster got nearer and nearer I could smell his usual scent of powerful cologne.

I was surprised when the headmaster looked at me and beamed brightly like a clown that you see in your nightmares. "Congratulations, Ms. Subaru! You have been adopted!" I stared at him with my jaw hanging. I couldn't believe I was going to be adopted. Many adult couples, unable to have children of their own, would come and talk to me but none ever wanted to adopt me. I couldn't believe the fact that someone would adopt a child with such a terrible attitude.

I could only think of one adult who was so naive as to adopt a problem child. He was staring right at me with a huge grin planted on his face. With that kind of smile on his face I couldn't help but to smile back.

The Bird Gets A New Nest

Being adopted, having to adjust to all the different things and changing yourself to fit in with the family. I hated all of that. With William I didn't need to bother with any of it. It was just like any other day: get ignored by the other kids, getting stares, being pointed and laughed at, being hated. Sure, the hate was just a bit more concentrated than usual but I didn't mind. I now had a safe haven away from the orphanage. I was able to be myself and smile more often, knowing that he knew how I became an orphan from my own mouth. He didn't believe all the rumors floating around the orphanage, from teachers and students alike. William liked to find out the truth behind all the tangles of lies.

It was very interesting coming to a place called home and having someone there to say "Welcome back!". I usually just went back to my little bed and just sat there staring at nothing. I thought it was strange, at first, to see someone there waiting for you to wake up and then waiting to see you come back after awhile. No matter how strange I always felt this small little warm feeling bubble in my body. Though sometimes the things he did reminded me of my real family, leaving me with a clump in my throat and my eyes getting misty. I love it here, I don't ever want to leave.

It has been over a month since I have been apart of this family. William's birthday was nearing and I needed money to buy his gift. I spent many hours after school looking for well paying jobs that would accept a 13 year old girl. I took any job available including measly household chores. Many a day I came home tired, cold and dirty. I was scolded harshly as well. It didn't matter to me because I wanted to be able to give William the best present I could buy as a token of my gratitude for taking me in. I was saving all of the money I had pain stakingly worked for in a small box that I hid in the closet compartment that only I knew of. I ran a risk of being caught many times by William when he went on errands and other times I was nearly kidnapped by strange men. Thankfully I had taken self-defense lessons from my older brother, who was a fighting fanatic, before he died.

After sometime I had finally raised enough money to buy the best present I could think of. I ran out the door and went to the store to buy the gift. I came back breathing heavily. The cold winter air was biting my face when I had left. Now that I was back at home I was feeling the warmth of the fire melt the layer of cold air that coated me. I was glad that my long journey was now over. I quickly and quietly went to my room and snuck to the closet hiding the gift in the closet where I had put the money. I was called down to have dinner, I was obviously going to be scolded beforehand for staying out late. I had gotten through his punishments by lying about what I was doing. I'm glad that one of my brothers was a great liar. He taught me the ropes when I blackmailed him into telling me.

The Bird's New Life

"Where have you been!" His voice was booming. I looked up at him timidly and flinched when I saw his eyes were red and puffy. He had been crying. I had lifted my hand and softly brushed the bottom of his eye. "It's unbecoming of a man to cry," I felt terribly guilty but continued talking. "My brother said that a guy should only cry if their parents died or they got kicked in the middle." We exchanged a small smile and when he turned I sighed a sigh of relief.

"The food is still a bit hot so wait for it to cool! I'm going to take a bath so call me if you need anything!" I couldn't help but giggle as he said all this. He was sticking his head through the doorway periodically, like a little kid waiting to see Santa Christmas Eve. I took a look at the stew and smelled the lovely aroma of potatoes, carrots and meat. I loved potato stew, my mouth always watered when I thought of it.

I grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and filled the bowl up with the stew. I placed my bowl on the table and grabbed the bigger bowl, filling that one up as well. I found the spoons and placed one in each bowl. I sat down and slowly picked up my spoon, scooping up a the stew, and placed it in my mouth. I was in heaven. I scarfed down the rest of my soup and got up to have seconds. William had gotten out of the shower by now and he sat in his chair. "You're really greedy when it comes to this stew, aren't you." This was more of a statement than a question. I could only smile as I sat back down.

"Yeah," I responded sadly as he looked at me curiously. "It was the last thing I ate together with my family." He smiled at me and said. "Well, I'm a part of your family now too." I turned around and looked at him. I wanted to scream and yell at him but I was so happy. "You're right." I said before continuing to eat. I left him stunned with surprise. I managed to sneak a little glance at him and nearly spit out all of my stew when I saw he was crying. "I told you already. It's unbecoming for a guy to cry like this." I spoke softly wiping away a tear. When he stopped crying he looked up and me and frowned. "If you were a guy, you would be a lady killer." My mouth dropped open and I just laughed. My laughter started turning into gasps for air. "I can't believe you just said that with a straight face!" I said after managing to calm myself. "It's true!" He said blushing, making him look like a teenager and not a 30- something year old. I was calming down and turned to him with a goofy grin on my face." I got something for you." I said as I got up and raced to my closet. Slowly I got my present and gave it to him waiting, as though I was the one getting the gift.

A Tragedy

He opened the box and gasped. Inside was a beautifully crafted pocket watch with a small owl perched in a tree on it. When he opened the small watch he found there was something engraved in it. It read 'Though a person's time is limited, the memories made are worth it all -Celestia'. He smiled as more tears fell down his cheeks. His cheeks had turned red and looked raw from all the rubbing to wipe away tears. It had costed a lot to get the watch engraved but I wanted tell him this message. It was too embarassing to tell him face to face... I was actually embarassed! This was completely new to me I don't know what happened, but I think I like being like this...

As we said our 'Good night's, after what seemed like an eternity of explaining how I could afford the watch, I smiled a little. I had a family, I hope I don't lose this one. What am I thinking? I won't let this family slip through my fingers!

I smiled to myself as I lay on my bed. With my blanket wrapped around me and the lights turned off, I had this feeling of true comfort. I was glad that I had someone to talk to, to laugh with, to be myself. I was pulled into my sleep, most likely grinning.

When I woke up, it was due to William yelling in my ear. I immediately bolted upright and glared at him. He gave a cheeky smile making me divert my eyes and mumble incoherently underneath my breath. I didn't notice until I looked back but, he was using the watch! My eyes widened and I was filled to the brim with happiness. "You're using... the watch..." I was barely able to get over my initial shock. "Yep!" He gave another cheeky grin followed by a small chuckle that resembled a giggle. "It's 5:30. Get a move on!" He continued to smile and he stroked the pocket watch as though it was a pet.

I am not the most peaceful person when waking up. This was made obviously known when I first came and almost clawed William's eyes out when he yanked my blanket from my body. Even though he learned this, he still has woken me up in this fashion many times. I lazily crawled out of bed and walked over to my dresser right after calling William a "pocket watch molester". Many people would have made a retort or have me do some torturous punishment but not William. He looked at me and hugged me saying, "I just love your gift. And the fact that your my daughter makes this gift even better! I love you, Ellie." I flinched before blushing madly. He had given me the nickname "Ellie", saying my name was too long.

I waited for him to leave before I took a short shower, got dressed, brushed my teeth and then fell back on the bed with the blankets over my head. This isn't the first time it happened though. William was in my room the second after the blanket touched my face, dragging my tired body to my chair at the dinner table. All in all, I took 20 minutes to get ready. William had to go to school earlier than I did due to him having to plan the school day.

During the walk there I made sure that William had everything that he needed for the school day including his thermos of hot cocoa (William says that coffee makes him more tired than he already is). Somewhere around that time when I was too distracted by the fact that William might forget something and ruin his chance of keeping a job, he was able to slip his hand into mine and made me walk all the way to school to school with him, hand in hand, like a child. I wasn't that upset about it though considering I forgot my gloves in the middle of winter and his hand was warm due to holding onto the thermos.

"What are we doing for Maths class?" I was curious considering that William had stayed up until ten to finish the Maths lesson, even though he is accustomed to sleeping at eight. I looked up at him expectantly only to see him put his index finger to his mouth and wink replying, "It's a secret," I scowled at him but he continued with that carefree smile on his face. "But you'll find out later." We continued walking and I soon saw the orphanage's school building in sight.

Sighing, I released William's hand and with my head held high I walked right into the school. I walked to my personal cubby, taking off my outside shoes and placing them in the place of my inside shoes. The school janitor appreciates it when the children keep the school hallways and classrooms clean so, to keep the school clean they have shoes for the students to wear when in the building. This is a lot better than the crummy dorm rooms of the orphanage considering that they don't give you any other shoes for you to wear and so many of the children end up with cold toes at night, especially in winter, walking to the bathrooms in the corriders without slippers.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 17.10.2013

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Widmung:
To my friends, family and teachers, who without I wouldn't be this far into this vast world. And, thanks to the Grimm brothers who had written the Little Red Riding Hood book that had me the inspiration to write this one.