A Student I think?

This is me Alexia I'm 16 and well this is my story.

I was in my room studying when the door opened it was my step mum. i studied all holidays. I was on 2 week break off school and It was one day before school would start and why am I studying well you’ll find out.  “Alexia this isn’t a good report card I want to see all A's!” She was waving the report card in the air and i noticed there was one B out of the whole report card. “Get up now!”I quickly stood up infront my step mum. she could be abusive when i didn't reach her standards. Okay so you may have realised my life isnt that easy well all my life I believed my parents hated me because they left me at just when i was born at the hospital or that was what i was told to believe. Although i had inherited abilities from my parents. I could read peoples thoughts and i could flame up at any time but sometimes i couldn't control this and that was when my emotions got the better of me. I guess it was a bonus but i never told my step mum. When i turned 14 i learned i had these abilities. Okay so ill explain what i look like. I'm a redhead and i have brown eyes, at the moment im just wearing some simple pants and longsleeved shirt (my step mum never really bought me any clothes)  and a pair of nerdy glasses. Okay well enough about me so um where was I oh yeah I was standing right infront of my step mum. She looked at me as if i was a pathetic human being and began beating me with her bare hands. My pale face soon had blood rushing down it. I tried holding in the tears for both emotional and physical pain i was going through. I kept my feelings in and didn't share them to the world i tried being a brave person but underneath i was a very hurt girl. Once she had finished abusing me she left the my bedroom. So thats why i study  my guts out either way i still get abused by my step mum because shes always drunk half the time. Everyone at school thinks im this nerd because i study so hard. I don't even wanna be known as a nerd i hate it so much!!! sometimes i question what would be the point of being on this planet because is so damn hard for me, sometimes i think im meant to suffer because its happen all my life. I ended up just going to bed and crawling up in a ball and hoping the pain would just stop. -------Next day------- I woke up and pulled my covers off, got up and looked at myself in the mirror. wow i looked horrible i had blood stains from the beatings i was given. I entered my shower and cleaned my face. Once that was done i hoped out of the shower, dried off and pulled some clothes out of my drawer. I didn't have many clothes considering my step mum never really bought me anything. Today i was wearing a longsleeved tshirt, jeans and some sneakers. I looked at the clock Crap! i was gonna be late for school and pulled out my ipod and put on my favorite music. my music put me at easy and made me feel like all my problems had left me. I rode to school on my skateboard and found my best friend waiting for me. She was my only friend but she was the best, she always been there for me when i needed her the most. 

The New Guy

 I saw my best friend and ran over to her and hugged her like crazy all holidays i wasn't allowed to see her only focus on my studies even though i had nothing to really study for. "Alexia did you enjoy your holidays?" I didn't hear her i was distracted by the new guy, he was so hot. He had brown hair, chocolate brown eyes, i swear i could stare at them forever.  he was wearing a black beanie wearing a black and gray striped tshirt with 4 buttons. Two of the buttons were undone which showed his 6 pac i was practically drooling over them. He wore also jeans and a pair of converse."Alexia" "What?" " i asked you how your holidays were" "oh they were great" She looked to see who i was staring at "ohhh someone have a crush on the new guy? :3" "pff no" "Sure you do" Jessica and Charlotte the populars walked over to the new guy. oh thats typical they hit on every guy in the school, there like the sluts of the school.

"typical" Jamie said  The bell rang and all the students ran in like there life depended on it. First up we had PC .PC didn't go for very long once it was over i went to my first lesson  which was art.  I went down the hallway which was full of student running late for classes . i then  finally found the art room and entered. several seconds later the teacher walked into the classroom with the  new Guy not far behind. "Hello class we have new student his name is Alex"


"Alex not many people so far maybe you tell what are interests and what you enjoy to do in your spare time" "Well i like art or else i woudnt be here and i love listening to music" "okay class lets get to work" the teacher kept talking about something but i was distracted by Alex he was just that  cute i coudnt help myself. i tried focusing on what the teacher saying but i was to distracted. After Art we had other boring subject such as maths, English and Science but of course i had work really hard. -----Lunch---- i walked out the classroom and walked over to my locker and put my stuff in there. I would be meeting up with Jamie for lunch.i walked though the Caferteria line and got some lunch and headed over to the table where Jamie and I sit at. i sat down and began eating my lunch. Then Alex starts walking over to our table." Mind if i sit here?"i just looked at those chocolate brown for few seconds until Jamie gave me a little punch on my shoulder. "Su-ure" "good cause i would rather die than sit with those Girls" he pointed to Jessica and Charlotte. They saw Alex pointing at them and they just gave him a flirty way."They wouldnt stop bothering me, i suppose they didn't get the message that i was interested" i let out a little laugh. "So whats are your names?" "Im Alexia and this Jamie" "Well I'm Alex nice to meet you" After Lunch i walked to my last lessons, Alex seemed to be in all of them. he was throwing paper at the back of my head and calling me a nerd. it sort of hurt being called a nerd everyone in the school would do this. What's he playing at i mean he's nice at lunch and then he starts throwing papers at my head and calling me a nerd. After my last lesson i walked back to my locker and put my books away."Hey Alexia" i turned around to see Alex standing behind me. I just igonred him because of what he did in class. "Alexia?"  I just walked away from him but then he just pushed me against my locker. He  then pushed his body against mine. I was shocked he never acted this way in class or anywhere esle. i just looked shocked at him and then he slide his tongue in my mouth i had no control over this. My hair flamed up and i tried pushing him away from me. "Whats the matter with you!" He continued trying to kiss me. "mmm Alex...mmm stop... kissing...me!" Okay i must admit i did like him kissing me but not like this. He stopped kissing me. "Okay nerd" "I'm not a nerd!!" "Says the girl that works like crazy" he had his history book in his hand and used it to hit my head. THUMP. "Ow!!! what was that for?!!" "For being a nerd" "I am not a nerd!" "are too!" "Am not!" "Yep!" "Then why you did you kiss a nerd?" "Because i can" "No you can't!" "Yes, yes i can" "Mmm" "Someone on their period?" i was shocked even said that okay i take it back he's a jerk. "NO IM NOT" "Sure, sure" i slammed my locker door and walked away. "hey noone walks away from me!" he ran up to me and stood in my way. "move now!" "No" "Damnit move" i heard my phone going off it was my step mum. CRAP! I anwsered it quickly. "hey?" "WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" my step mum said "um still at school" "GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!!" "Sorry mum will be home soon" i let out a tear roll down my check. "Hey you okay?" Alex said. in a small voice i just said. "Please just move out of the way" "You sure your okay?" i didn't say anything. He just looked me in the eye.  He hugged me and this shocked me. But i sort of was sick of his constant games but i accepted the hug. "why do you do that?" "Do what?" "The constant games from nice to mean" "Um I-I have to go" he stopped hugging me and ran off. I quickly rushed home hoping my step mum wouldn't kill me.

Wait What!?

So when i got home my step mum was furious Why? i seriously don't know why, I didn't do anything. "There you are!! You're are late!!" "Late for what?" "You know don't act stupid!!" I seriously don't know what she was talking about. "Nevermind then"  Well that was weird why was she acting to so sweet untill I realized We weren't the the only ones in the room. "Alexia this is Jimmy" "Jimmy?" "Yes Jimmy" I tall men in his  mid 30 stood before me. He looked some what familiar. "Hello Alexia" I shook his hand. I noticed he had a scar on his face, his eyes were dark chocolate brown and he was a redhead. He looked like a peice of me. He wore white tshirt, leather jacket, jeans and a pair of converse. For a 30 year old man he shouldn't didn't look it. I was about to walk to my bedroom when he started asking me questions. "So How old are you?" "um 16" "16!!!" "did i say something wrong?!" "No Just been looking for my daughter for a few years now" "Wait what do you mean?!" i was freaking out. I didn't realize but my hair has flamed up. "What the hell!!?" my step mum said. "What year were you born in?" I just stared at his face and ran up stairs and locked the door shut. i heared footsteps then banging at my door. "Go away!!" Everything  in me was breaking from the inside. "Alexia please i just wanna talk!" "You could of done that 16 years ago!!!" "Alexia! We thought you were dead!" They thought i was dead... the whole time they thought i was.... "Why Did you think i was dead!!!" the tears were flowing down my checks. "Because your real mum was told you died duiring labour" "Wait what why!?" "Well we were very young so her father lied to her and you got the name Alexia and sent to a foster home" All this time my life had been a lie my parents loved me, my grandpa just didn't want us together. "You're coming home with me, everythings been packed and its all in the car" So i would be finally leaving this hell hole? after all this time 16 years id have a normal life. I followed my dad.... weird saying that anyways i follow him to his car its a mustang. "OH MY GOD" I entered his car and drove off. The car ride wasn't to long. I was very shy also i was affraid i get hurt like i did from my step mum. So i arrived at this beautiful house it was very big. I stepped out of the car while my dad grabbed my suitcase full of clothes. I entered the house and saw a women preparing what looked like dinner. She turned around and faced me. "ALEXIA!!!" she raced over to me and gave me the biggest hug. WOW is this what it feels like to be loved by a proper family? She looked like a peice of me till i realized it was my mother. "Mum?" "Yes dear that's me" My dad entered the house and called for someone i didn't quite hear the name. IT WAS ALEX WHAT THE HELL!? He raced down stairs. "Oh Hi Alexia" "Alexia this is Alex your step brother" "Yes I know him from school..." "Alex show Alexia to her room" "Will do" I followed him upstairs and he just kept looking at me. "What is it!?" "Can't I stare?" "No you can't" "Why?" "Cause i said so" "Kay then" He showed me into my room, i thought he was finished and was gonna leave. He had my suitcase in his hands and than placed it on the floor. He shut the door then locked it. "What are you doing?" "Oh you know um.." He pushed up against the wall and began kissing me.  after he finally finished kissing me   I pushed him away. he looked angry and his eyes changed from brown to golden. he growled. i was afraid he would hurt me. He saw the fear in my eyes. "MINE" he yelled. "Mmm im not a object!" i then heard this voice in my head. 'MINE' 'i think im going insane' i replied to the voice.'No no, i am your inner wolf Skylar and Alex is your mate' 'wait what?? inner wolf!?' 'you're a werewolf get over it' 'well what am i supposed to do with my mate?' 'mate him dah' 'and that is?' 'sex for wolves are you really that stupid?' 'hay i'm not stupid i was just making sure' i was making sure because its hard with all these new slang meanings. 'sure sure now mate him' 'what i just meet the guy!?' 'Fine then ill take over' 'wait what?!' my wolf took control of my body. "MINE" she yelled. Alex pushed me onto my bed and got ontop on me. i had no control over my body. he licked the bottom of my chin asking for entrance. Sure enough Skylar let him slip his tongue in. I didnt like it because i hated alex. Then alex STARTED GRINDING ON ME. Skylar was moaning the whole time. She gave me control of my body back eventually. i pushed him off of me. "mmm GET OFF ME!!!!!!" "Oh so your wolf was controlling you?" "YEAH NOW GET THE FUCK OFF ME I HATE YOU" i could see in his eyes he was hurt. "That won't stop me from trying" "You do that NOW GET OUT"  "FINE" he left the room pissed. i walked over to my closet and saw it was filled with brand new clothes. "WOW" i found some black clothes.. So i seemed to like them the most and put them on. I turned to my dresser and found a iPhone 5s there with a note. the note just said the phones for you and love mum and dad. I put some sneakers on and walked downstairs. My mum was preparing dinner and then walked over to me. "Where you going?" "For a walk" "Okay be home soon" I then walked outside and felt a breeze. I had problems, issues it was hard knowing that i had parents all this time, it just made me upset and i didn't know how to get my emotions out properly. I went through a dark alley way stupidly. I don't know i wasnt thinking straight! 

Do I Really Hate Him?

So I'm in this Alley way and then this creepy guy pushing me against the wall. Really Why do guys love doing this to me?! So yeah Im scared so much that hes gonna rape me or something. I actually wanted my Mate i felt the need for him. "Hey Sexy Think you shoud come home with me and we can have 'fun' if you know what i mean" i yelped. I could smell Alcohol all of this guy. I was realy scared at the moment. I then smelt a familiar smell it caused the butterfly feeling in the pit of my stomach. I saw Alex running through the Alley Way and pushed the guy off me. Alex was so hot his six....wait no no!! no i do not like Alex! eww yuck thats just gross!! He begins Beating up the creep and the guy is left with blood all of his body Alex then walks back over to me, pushing his body up against mine. "What were you thinking!? You could of got hurt!?" he yelled in my face making my eyes water. "I'm Sorry!" a tear ran down my cheek. "Shhh its Okay I'm just glad your safe" He kissed me on my forehead causing my legs to become weak. How was he having this effect on me!? He pressed his body harder into mine and began kissing my neck several times. Man it left my legs weak again. He stepped away from me giving me space. But then i only just felt my world fall down and everything turned black and this is when i started having my nightmare. I was in this dark cave, i was alone or so i thought before this guy in a dark cloak came my way, blood was trailing from him it wasn't his IT WAS ALEX"S BLOOD. He came up to me and lit the cave with this bright red light. "What have you done with Alex!!!!" "He's DEAD HAHAHA" "NO I LOVE HIM!!!" "Ohh too bad here he is" suddenly Alex appeared on the floor, blood was pouring out of him and it would not stop the guy in the cloak just kept laughing. "NO ALEX" tears poured from my eyes. "ALEX PLEASE BE OKAY!!!" i was shaking his body hoping he would wake up but he didn't. "ALEX PLEASE I LOVE YOU" i opened my eyes from my nightmare. I was in Alexs arms in his bedroom. "Shh its okay im still here it was just a nightmare" I sat up and cuddled him and wrapped my legs around his waist. "So in your dream you said you loved me" his sympathetic smile turned into a grin. I just rested my head on his shoulders. "Well you going to admit it?" he still had that stupid grin on his face. Then suddenly he grabbed my butt, that was then i let out a moan. "what was that?" he squeezed my butt harder. I moaned louder and then looked at him. "Do you have to squeeze my butt?" "Sounds like to me you like it or would you rather me do this" "wait wha-" he removed his hand from my butt and replaced near my crotch coming closer with his hands. "No No No!!!" i began moaning at his touch. "You like being touched don't you?" he still had that stupid grin on his face. "C'mon Moan my name" "Mmm...NO s-stop t-touching me" his touch got harder and that made me moan his name. I tried pushing him away. "Mmm I TOLD YOU TO STOP TOUCHING ME YOU ARROGANT DOUCE" My wolf only liked this i for one didnt. "No i do what i want you're my mate" "NOT IF I DON'T LIKE IT" I pushed him away but he grip on my hand tightly. I tried figting him. my eyes watered and began crying. He saw the tears and let go of his grip. I ran downstairs to my mum with the tears in my eyes. She turned around with a big smile on her face but it slowly faded away as she saw the tears. "Whats the matter Alexia?" "Mummy Alex is being mean to me" Yes I called her Mummy I never go to when i was little. "Hmm What did he do?" I looked at the floor unsure if i should say. "What did he do tell me!" Was she angry at me? did i do something wrong? was she gonna punish me like my step mother did. well i freaked out and ran upstairs then my bedroom, before slamming the door. I heard footsteps a few moments later. i was afraid she would hurt me. i backed against the wall and tried hiding. She opened my door but saw me. "Alexia I'm Not Mad at you I just want to know what Alex did to upset you" 'dude why you so worried he just touched you it was awesome!' my wolf said. 'well he was being arrogant' 'So hes sexy don't you think' 'Yeah he is so sexy omg wait i did not just say that!' 'you just did' "ALEXIA" "um yes?" "what did Alex do i want to know now!" "He's kinda my mate..." "Oh... and what did he do?" "He touched me... I didn't approve of this" "oh I see" "yes" i was still crying. Alex entered my room. 'Damn he's sexy' my wolf said. 'Omg he is so sexy you're right' 'mine! Mine!' sadly that wasn't my wolf it was me. "Alex you have upset Alexia Now" "I'm sorry for being arrogant" "Well going to go and see yous to sort this out" she left the room with the door shut. "MINE!" CRAP did i really say that!? he lost it and pushed me against the wall roughly. i let out a small moan. "MINE!!" he yelled back. within a few minutes we were makingout and then he had to push me on my bed and kept kissing me. he got up and was about to leave. "What were are you going?" "to my room just proved something" "and that is...?" "You're a slut." i felt like he had riped out my heart. "I'm No Slut!" "yes you are" he walked towards me and i sat up. He pushed me off my own bed and stood around me. "SLUT" my eyes starting watering. "But i thought we were mates" "we are but your just an ugly slut and i hate you!" I felt pain coming for my heart it ached. my wolf was hurt to. he grabbed my hand pulled me up. "Why don't you just kill yourself so i don't have to see your UGLY FACE" wow did he really say that. 'he could just be having issues or problems' my wolf said. i wished that were true. "do you really mean that?" "YES" he pushed me to the floor. Most people would just tell there parents but ive always been abused so i dont know how to react to this. "Hurt me more i deserve it" Okay that probably sounded attention seeking but its how i felt. "FUCK" "what?" he started covering his hands ears as if something was hurting him. he ran out of the room. "Alex are you oka-"he had left before i could finish what i was saying. i crawled up in a ball and cried my heart out. later my mum came to my room. "Sweety Dinners- whats wrong?!" "boys... boys is just whats wrong" "what did he do that was so bad?" "IT DOESNT MATTER" i saw my window and took my chance to climb down it. i ran to my best friends house. I just climbed up her window and scared the crap out of her. "woah what the hell Alexia" "Sorry i had to get out" "What about your step mum?" "Turns out i actually have real parents. I'm and werewolf and Alex is my mate" "Oh my god you serious" "yep" "So why arent you being all cuddly with him?" "He called me a slut and told me to kill myself" "Wow harsh" "yep i couldnt stop crying" i started crying all over again. she came out and gave me a hug. "Shh its gonna be okay" "why would he even say that?!" "He could be having issues and he shouldn't like me back either way I'm a freak i already hate myself as it is and my birthday at that to" every year i cry on my birthday. "why do you hate yourself?" "I just dont.. think i have much of a purpose in this world" Just then someone appears through the window growling. "Grrrr" "is that you Alex?" It was him and then he tackled me to the ground. "Grr" "What did i do?" "Bitch please you owe me something" "That is?" "WE STILL HAVE TO MATE" "so after we mate you'll leave me?" "Yeah" "and i dont have a choice do i?" "WHAT THE HELL ALEX LEAVE ALEXIA ALONE" "NO. IM NOT LEAVING TILL I GET HER VIRGINITY" "are you serious?!" "So you're gonna rape me?" he looked like he was getting angry really angry. he ripped my clothes off. "GRRR" "No you cant do that to her!!!" the thing is Jamies parents were out on a business trip and Alex decided to break every phone around the house. "What am i going to Alexia?!" "just let him do it... i dont care anymore" "Are you sure about this?!" "yep" truth is i really did care. my best friend didn't really want to leave but she did anyway and shut the door. Alex threw me on the bed and ripped his clothes off. "No please don't why must you do this?!" "if i dont... we die" "are you being serious? is this a joke?" "no im not joking trust me i think you with enjoy this" then he winked at me. Was he being serious? like come on sure hes my werewolf mate but i just met him. my whole life has been a lie and i only just found out the truth not long ago. So here i was standing naked and very uncomfortable infront of him. my checks went red and well things got alittle weird after that.

 

Did That Just Really Happen?

 Wait did that really just happen did i just lose my virginity to some guy i barely knew. Wow this day just got crazier. i ended up fainted because everything was to overwhelming for me. I just couldn't handle it all. my anxiety took over, it was the cause for me fainting. I woke up later naked still in sheets i laid with Alex. I sat up and he was just laying close to me and watching me. My panic attack was coming in motion i couldnt handle these emotions it was to hard for me. i felt like i couldn't breathe, whats the point of living if i cant breathe? i thought to myself. I was scared and afraid. I just didn't know what to do. I got out of the bed and put my clothes on.  Why was this happening to me. Like why couldnt i just live a normal life. I felt bad for what i just did. i barely knew the guy, i just met him. Why did i even get myself into this mess? he looked over at me. "are you okay?" i just looked at him. i couldnt handle the emotions that were running through my body. My hormones were outta control. It was a very strange day. i didnt know how to comprehend it all. One minute im slaving away with my grades. the next minute im living with my parents, hooksup with the hottest guy ive laid eyes on turns out hes my mate. All these thoughts running through my mind. "Alexia are you okay!" "NO IM NOT OKAY" i quicky put my clothes on before running out of the room and keep running till i made it home. i couldnt believe i actually ran that far. my muscles were sore for what just happened with me and Alex. i opened the front door and my mum looks at me. "is everything okay?" i didnt know what to say. i was about to break any moment. i ran up stairs and shut the door and locked myself in there. i needed to think. i need space. my inner wolf was happy with what i did with Alex but i felt so bad you would think i would just happy with what i just did but i didnt. I wasnt even ready. i went to my closest and hid in there of course they would find me but i lost it. i started breathing heavily. i was hugging my legs rocking back and forward trying to take everything in but it was too much. All the pain i had encountered from my step mum and my whole ive been living was a lie. All the pain i had been through high school of the non-stop bullies that had walked all over me and abused me for my differences. i just didnt understand why someone like me who had not done anything wrong. i just started crying, i felt like i couldnt breathe. I dont understand why people look down at people who cut themselves im not a cutter. but i understand why someone would even result to that. of course it does nothing for the person. but someone who is undergoing the amount of pain for whatever of reason. i understand because sometimes the pain inside hurts too much and it gets tiring from feeling the same emotions so it would better to feel the burning sensation felt from the bleeds and open wounds. They arent cuts they are battle wounds. when i see someone in pain who does this i dont think oh look another cutter. They are still there they are only fighting with themselves and each time they are still alive from each battle. its a postive way of looking at it. i just thought about it. I understood. I felt so empty i couldnt handle the emotions. i screamed at the top of my lungs. my panic attacks are hard to take in. i feel like im fighting with myself on the inside and all these emotions just dont want to leave. Eventually i scream on the inside and it comes out. i let out everything. i had let it bottle up inside to long. i got out of my closest and just laid on the floor crawled up in a ball. i heard the window open. It was Alex. i felt so emotionally worn out. i also had physical pain from what me and alex did. He saw me on the floor. he knew something was up. "you arent okay" he came down on his knees before picking me up and carrying me. "Shh its okay beautiful i got you everythings okay"  i just looked at him and wanted hugs. "mmm" "What?"  he was holding me in bridal style so i just went to the floor before hugging him but wrapping my legs around his waist. hugging him tightly. "its okay beautiful i got you" his words soothed my heart i felt complete even tho that pain was causing me grief somehow it just settled me down. He unlocked the door and walked down stairs carrying me. My mum looked at  him i coudlnt see her i just knew she was talking to him. "Is she okay? i heard noises" "shes okay now" "Okay good i dont want to see my little girl crying" i think i fell asleep in his arms because later i woke up on my bed cuddling beside him.

What Happens Next?

 I was laying in my room looking at the celling thinking. What happens next? I mean i live with my actual parents and i have a mate. Of course im traumatized from the whole step mum thing. I Opened my closest. i kinda still felt depressed it doesnt just go away and it wears me out so much. I looked through it to find something to wear. 'Alexia wear that' 'i am not wearing that. it will make me look like a slut' 'Exactly Alex will love it ;) ' 'Um can you not' 'Wear it' 'no' 'thats it im taking control' 'No dont you dare!'  My inner wolf took control of my body and put on the slutest clothes she could find. Then put them on. "Alex!" she called him. Alex came into my room and looked at me. his eyes were looking at me everywhere it kinda made me feel embarrassed.  "Damn can you wear that everyday?" "I can wear nothing if you like" my inner wolf says.  my face is red and i really wish she wouldnt do that it was making me feel uncomfortable. my heart raced. He pulled me closer and kissed me passionately. i felt a spark run through my body and i liked it alot so did my inner wolf. he stepped back away. "mmm" 'what?" "i liked...that..." "Oh you liked that? Well i know something you will like even more" He placed his hand near my crotch before gripping onto it. i moaned. thankfully it was just me and him home. "No...d-ddont do that...d-ddo you even know h-hhow that makes me feel" "I know how it makes you feel thats why i did it"  he gripped harder. i couldnt help but to moan more. "I want you to moan my name like last time that was nice" "I'm not just some doll you can play with for entertainment" "Oh but you are" "Excuse me?" i pushed him away. now i was angry.  "What im just stating the obvious its how i see you plus with what you're wearing anyone would think you're a slut" this hurt me alot. he was my mate afterall. i looked to the floor. "But im not some object...or dolll..and my inner wolf made me dress like this for you" my face went red. "For me? i think she knows that you are just an object" "B-Bbut im not an object" "Oh yes you are" i got slammed to a wall and pressed hard into me making me feel weak. he whispered in my ears. "i got you were i want..." i felt his warm breathe breathe down my ear making me breathe heavily and my face to turn red.  "He made me feel so...strange... i felt weaker when he whispered in my ear. I grabbed onto his shirt to feel stable. "You feel weak dont you? proves more how you are a slut" "No im not a slut" he gets his hands and trails them down till he reaches my crotch. "Stop it..." "No" My eyes watered. "Quit being a dick. im human being with feelings too" "Yeah and like i care?" i growled. "I said stop" "I TOLD YOU NO" He yelled in my face making me cry. "Im not an object you can play with or tease emotions" i used all the power i could use and pushed him out of the way before running off crying. Why is acting this way? i thought to myself. i hate it one minute he cares so much about me and the next he acts like a dick and cares nothing for me and only wants one thing for me.

Why is He acting this way?

He caught up to me and blocked me off. "Leave me alone!"  i said in between my tears. "NO! YOU LISTEN TO ME!" he used his mate voice the male wolfs can control the girls with that voice and i have no choice to listen. "STAY WHERE YOU ARE" "FINE" i was pushed against a wall. "DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME LIKE THAT SHOW ME RESPECT"  i cried more. "B-Bbut...you're the o....one who isnt showing me respect!"  "I TOLD YOU NOT TO YELL" 'hes mad at you because you didnt listen to him' 'i think i know that' 'you gotta give him what he wants' 'but i refuse to be told im an object' "LISTEN TO ME AND STOP TALKING TO YOUR INNER WOLF" "S-Sorry" "I would like to speak with her" "Fine..." then my inner wolf started talking. "Yes what is it my sexy beast" "you will listen to me right?" "Yeah i can do that" "Perfect" he started gripping tightly on my sides. my inner wolf went crazy. "mmm....Alex" She pulled him closer. "MINE" she said 'do you mind?' 'what he told me to speak with him' 'yeah but not take over completely' 'yeah but im a wolf i do what i want deal with it' 'mmm' I really dont understand boys to be honest. They confuse me alot. So while my inner wolf was taking over my body i was freaking out. Im not use to this. Being pushed around? That i was use to i was sick of people doing this to me. Controlling me, neglecting me, looking down at me. I use all the power i had to take control of my body. "STOP DOING THIS TO ME" i pushed him away. My anxiety kicked in and i started having a panic attack right infront of him i was vulnerable at this very moment. he looked shoked at me as if he was sorry for what he did. I ran off and left the house. im not some fucking doll that you can  push around i am sick and tired of being treated like im worthless. i looked up at the sky and howled before screaming. my eyes turned a golden brown. my canines appear. the pain running through my body was excruciating. my claws digged out. i quickly hide in the bushes so nobody could see me. my clothes teared off and i then ran away in my wolf form which is basically just a wolf.  i then ran to my best friends place. Of course i didnt realize that i was a wolf. Soon i arrived at her window and scratched it as thats all i could do in my form. I could see her in her room but she eventually heard the scratching. the reason why i went to her is because she my best friend and i need support because i wasnt feeling the best. she saw me before screaming. then i just frowned at her. she opened the window not really wanting to. before realizing it was probably me because there are no wolfs in the area where i live. "Alexia?" i just yelped. 'maybe i should  change back' 'you do realize if you do that. you will be naked' 'wait why?!' 'because your clothes ripe off when you transform' i was then thinking to myself how the hell am i going to trasnform back without clothes!? Eventually Jamie let me in through the window. i ran to her bathroom and transformed as soon as i did that. i shut the door and put a towel around me. Before opening the door and looking at Jamie. "welll that certainly was interesting"  "Dude have you got any clothes i can borrow?" "Yeah sure theres some in here" she hands me some clothes. i then go back into the bathroom and get changed.  "So um what happened?" "Alex is being a dick again, controlling" "Oh. I'm sorry to hear this" "I kinda dont understand it...its really hurting and confusing me.." "Want to talk about it?" "Yeah" "Well?" "Oh right. Well he keeps treating me like im some object...and other times he treats me like a princess..hes very possessive over me..." "Oh.." "Yeah.." "Well if he lays on a finger on you he will have to take it up with ME" "i dont think it will be that easy hes a werewolf you know" "Theres always my brother" Oh yeah.. um Jamie had an older brother called Luke. Speaking of Luke. He entered the room and looked me. "Sup Ladies" "hey.." "Damn you are looking good Alexia"  "Luke. Nows not the time" Lukes has had a crush on me...well to be honest i think he just wants me for sex but dont tell him i said that. 

Jealousy Is a Bitch

 Alexia POV: So Luke was trying to lay moves on me. He started stepping closer to me until i was back against a wall. "Luke Stop" "Make me" "she has a boyfriend" "Like i care" Just then i heard some growling. It got louder. SHIT. i knew that growling that...that was ALEX. Alex jumped through the window into Jamies room. He started growling at Luke. "Back off. Shes mine" he said with possiveness. Luke was testing his patience. He came up Close to me. "Dont come any Closer to her i swear to God"  My heart was racing i didnt know what was really happening. But Alexs scent started to have this weird effect on me. it was so strong. It was like a drug to me. It made me feel weak. I just looked dreamy at Alex. "Alex." i said like i was drowsy.  "Whats Happening to her?" While i was staring at Alex he became distracted. Luke went for me and tried to grab my boob.  Alex growled at him and tackled him to the floor and was now fighting with him. "STOP IT GUYS" Jamie and I said. "Stop it!" I was still feeling weird with his scent floating around in the room. Luke tried running off back into his room. Alex then had the stupidest grin on his face then he started to approach me and his scent was coming stronger. i started feeling weak and felt like i was going to fall over. He pressed his body up against mine. I nearly slipped but he pushed himself harder to me. I let out of moan and was embarrassed because my best friend was in the room. "Uh.." I felt really weird his scent was so strong and overpowering. More. More. My inner wolf kept saying. She wanted him so bad. She didnt care if he was a jerk to me. She just wanted him. She tried taking control over me. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer but we were so close there was barely any distance between us. "Uhh...Guys.." i had to control myself as my best friend was around. I tried regaining power over my own body. Eventually my inner wolf gave in. I looked at Alex and saw lust in his eyes. Great. Perfect. "Alex...i need you to..step back abit. You're making Jamie feel abit uncomfortable" But he didnt listen to me. He just pressed harder into me and kissed my neck several times. Making me feel weak to it all. I tried not to moan or lose myself infront of him. "Alex Stop" My inner wolf got so angry at me for resisting him. 'What are you doing?' 'Shut up' 'Exuse me?' 'Can you please not. my Best friend doesnt want to see this' 'is she gay' 'you dont have to be gay to not feel uncomfortable and shes straight trust me she has a boyfriend' 'Oooo Is he cute?' 'Really i thought you only had eyes for Alex' 'i was joking gees' "Am i interrupting your conversation with your inner wolf"  he looked pissed off.   He had stepped back to.   I went over to my best friend. "I'm Sorry you had to witness that" 'It's all good" "I cant help how i feel around him.." i whispered to her. I forgot wolves have very good hearing. "How does he make you feel?" she whispered. "like hes a drug to me...i cant get enough and he has this overpowering scent" i whispered. "you know i can hear you ladies"  I blushed.  But i wasnt really in the best mood. I mean sure i was happy to have him by my side but i had problems. I had these thoughts i couldnt contain and somehow i managed to put up a mental wall from Alex hearing them. My eyes watered and i ran off. Alex tried going after me but i just kept running untill i ran to my old neighbour. I saw a park that i use to hangout in and sometimes i come here when i need air.  I placed my hand on the playground equipment and i felt some memories coming back to me. In primary i had one friend and his name was Archer. We use to play here all the time. Well before he died. I felt like it was all my fault. --------FlashBack Moment---------

Ill tell you what happened. I was 7 and me and him where playing around and just having fun like kids do. We were playing tiggy and we ran after around for ages we couldnt stop having so much fun. it was one place i could come to and feel happy. But on this particular day it was raining heavily and well that didnt stop us from playing. I was it and he was running away and well we ran off onto the road and sometimes we do and nothing usually bad happens.  He turned around while he was playing with me to see how far i was and at that moment and car spun out of control and hit him. He was instantly killed right infront of me. I couldnt stop crying. I knew what happened and i blamed it on me. the driver didnt even bother to stop he just kept driving. I started screaming and screaming for help. Eventually the police arrrived. But there was nothing they could do nothing. His parents blamed me and kept saying "ITS ALL YOUR FAULT YOU STUPID BITCH. YOU KILLED OUR SON" 

--------Flashback over --------

Remembering this made me break down into tears. i wiped them away and contrinued to the big tree house that was at this park. I climbed up to the top of it and hide in there. i pulled out my iPod and put on some Fall Out Boy and listened to the tunes. I Loved Fall Out Boy. Patrick Stump was my idol his music was amazing. 

Just Leave Me Alone

 So i was listening to my music and sort of zoning out from my surroundings when i heard a noise. I looked over and saw Alex. Alex was just looking at me and he looked, well pissed. "Why the fuck did you run off like that" he yelled in my face. i hated this. Good guy and the Bad boy role he played it was getting to me.  my eyes watered once more and the tears flowed evenly. I was sitting up with legs just out. He aproached me and tried to sit near me. "Leave me alone" i said. "Dont you dare talk to your mate like that" he said."Stop it okay" i said and i cried more. Thats when he had an evil grin on his face. i had no idea what he was up to. "You speak to me like and there are consequences"  I looked scared.  "I know how much you love my scent" he said. CRAP HIS SCENT I FORGOT ABOUT THAT. "I bet you forgot about that" he said. He stood up and pulled me up and then slammed me against the wall. his scent. Oh.My.God. I couldnt contain my inner wolf. She went crazy. he pushed himself harder into me and began grinding on me. my Wolf was loving this. i was trying really hard not to moan and my legs got weaker. Then it happened. I moaned so loud. "Thats what i want to hear" he said. my eyes watered. "Stop." i said. But he didnt listen. "I want you to moan my name" "Stop it...Please Stop it" "I'm not stopping till you moan my name" he said. He continued to grind on me harder. My inner wolf loved it but it was making me upset because he was treating me with zero respect. i eventually moaned his name... heaps... "Thats a good girl" he patted me on the head and stopped what he was doing. I stepped back and i ran off crying. Oh wait... he lives with me. I ran home. My mum looked at me and smiled. "hey Darling" but i didnt want to talk. I continued to run into the bathroom. Not my room the bathroom. i was so upset on the inside i was so messed up. I locked the door and tried pulling out a razer blade. Frantically pulling it out and began to scrap it againt my skin. I screamed in pain but i liked it. It sounds weird but i actually liked it. it was better than the pain ive felt all my life. my mum was knocking on the door. "Sweety whats wrong?" she sounded worried. "Dont talk to me right now" i said while crying. She became really worried. i kept cutting myself with the razer blade. i know what you're thinking. Stop. You're going to hurt them. I was in so much pain on the inside i couldnt contain how i felt. Then guess what happened next... my anxiety kicked in. i started having a panic attack and i felt i couldnt breathe. my mum managed to get the door open with a key. She saw my marks and my state and got very worried. "Sweety stop doing that to yourself!" she ran over to me and threw the razer blade out of my hand.  I eventually maintained my breathing and my mum hugged me so tight. i tried getting away from her grasp. i was fighting with myself on the inside. I eventually met defeat and let her hug me. I cried my heart out. 

You Need To Get Some Help

 After i had my massive breakdown infront of my mum. I was in my room and i was thinking when my mum entered the room. "Sweety I need to talk to you"  she said slightly worried. "yes mum i think i know why you need to talk to me.."  i said. "i dont think you are okay on the inside and well i think you need to see someone about that... But i want to ask you one thing" "Whats that?" "has Alex hurt you?" "What do you mean mummy?" "Has he abused physically or verbally" i just looked to the floor. "Alexia?" she asked once more. "...Yes...." i mumbled. "What was that?"  She said. "...Yes he did.." i said abit louder. "Oh..Well your father is going to have a long interesting chat with him" she said. then i said "please go easy on him" my eyes watered. "i know you like him quite abit as he is your mate" My father then entered the room with Alex. "are you okay!?"  he said. My mum gave my dad a serious look. She must of been talking to my dad through their minds because she left the room and he knew exactly what was going on. He looked very angry now. He walked over to Alex. "How dare you treated my daughter like this" he slapped him across the face. "She isnt some toy you can play with him" he yelled in his face. my eyes watered. i didnt like seeing him get hurt even if he did hurt me. "Please dont hurt him" My dad calmed down and looked at me. "i cant have him hurting my little girl" he said "Please...leave us to alone...i want to talk to him.." i said. My dad nodded and left the room with the door shut. I turned to Alex and my heart started beating fast. His scent made me feel amazing. It was so addicting. i felt weak while looking at him. "I'm Sorry"  He looked at my arm and my new marks. "Oh..."  my checks went red. He just looked at me and then he kissed me passionately.  it felt so...so amazing. I wasnt sure if i needed help as a i had him because he said something to me. "I promise i will stop being so rough with you...my inner wolf goes crazy when he sees you and he loses control" he said and i just looked at him. He pulled me closer gently and i kissed him passionately. 
-------------5 weeks later----------------

I went to get counselling help for my problems... i was difficult at first. Alex was being abit more gentle with me and treating me properly.Okay i lied he wasnt being as gentle only sometimes but in a way Alex made it abit easier for me to feel better. His hugs breathed life into me and made me feel so amazing. I stared at Alex he was my life he completed me but at the same time i was still battling my depression and sometimes he wasnt there for me and he acted dick despite his promise. I wasnt believing his inner wolf taking over because the scar hes left on my heart wouldnt go away. I was in my room reading the perks of being a wallflower and i started crying when i read one part i could relate to this book so much. I loved this book. ive read it over 20 times. Alex entered the room he looked really angry. 'you better do something to cheer him up he looks mad' 'like what could i possibly do?' 'you know let him in ;) ' 'Oh god no why' He approached me and pushed me against the wall. he had a thing for doing this quite alot in his pissed moods. Which i didnt really like to be honest because he didnt show much respect for me when he acted this way. He shoved me into the wall harder. I moaned. "Stop" his eyes were fillled with Hate. "No" he said. "Whats wrong this time?" I said. "Why doesnt he leave you alone" he said with pain. "Who Babe?" i said. "Luke I know what he been upto DONT LIE TO ME YOU BITCH" he said angrily. "What are you talking about?" i said quite confused. "Dont lie to me bitch you broke my fucking heart" He said with rage. "What did he say to you?"  i said calmly even though he was yelling in my face. he shoved his body harder into mine and placed his hand on my stomach. "He said you were sleeping with him and you loved every moment of it, he went into detail and everything" he said quite upset. "And you believe him?  Why would i even do that when i have you mr handsome...damn stop it your scent drives me insane sometimes and i just try to act normal" "DONT LIE" he said quite annoyed. he then grabbed my sides tightly. This made my inner wolf go crazy. "Stop that...do you even know how that makes me feel" i said. "I know how that makes you feel" he said with a big grin on his face. "Please stop it and i cant believe you'd believe that dickhead over me" i said getting impatient. "Mmm" he said annoyed. my parents were out so he acted how he wanted to. His hand went south. "What do you think you are doing"  i said getting scared. he was ticking me off to the max. "WHAT I WANT TO DO" he said. "Alex you are starting to get on my nerves. You're my mate yet you believe a dickhead over your mate and you kept treating me roughly just becuase of you mood and you dont even care about how i feel, it hurts me a lot"i said. He just looked sad down at the floor. "Babe i love you, but i cant take much of this behaviour you have towards to me it really hurts me" i said trying to maintain my patiience. "Whats wrong? there must be something else thats bothering you?" i said concerned. I just looked at him. I tried controlling how i felt about him and his scent. oh my God his scent was so good. i just let my inner wolf loose cause i knew she would want some action. I stared at him dreamly. i didnt even care what i said to his face. "oh my God why do you have to be so hot. You make me weak with a single glance"  He still didnt say anything. So i thought id try another approach. "Let go of me" he stepped back and let me free. I then looked at him. Before taking my clothes off infront of him. "Hey Babe look at me now" i winked.  He didnt even look at me he just looked really sad. Alright maybe something different. i put my clothes back on and i went back over to him. He was no fun when he was sad. So i thought id make a move but tackling him to the floor. "Are you trying to frustrate me" i said. Then he looked up quite surprised. Then i kissed his neck several times before kissing his ears sounds weird but... i think that...well you know excited him.  He pushed me off of him roughly and then shoved me against the wall really hard. Then he started to grind on me. But i dont know why he acts funny when hes around me sometimes like he thinks im an object which i dont know why. "Does this make you happy" i said. All he said was  "MINE" "well i guess that answers that question" i sad "mmm..Mine..mine mine mine"  he kept saying. Tears dripped from my face.  "Whats Wrong?" he said worried. "I can't take much of your behaviour"  i said. "Mmm" he got angry and pushed me harder into the wall. "JUST LOVE ME" he yelled in my face. For the first time he cried infront of me. "Whats wrong?" i said very concerned. He stepped back and left my room. I tried following him and he went to enter  his room but he locked it. "Babe whats wrong?"  He didnt say anything. But i heard his screaming and crying.  "Please tell me whats wrong"  i said even more concerned. he finally opened the door and pulled me in his room. He shut the door and locked it. Pushed me onto his bed and go ontop of me. "LOVE ME" he yelled. he was still crying. "You need to tell me whats wrong. I dont know how to help you other wise"  i said worried. "YOU DONT UNDERSTAND" he yelled out in pain. "Understand what?" i said quite confused. i started thining. Some people can act abusive because they have been abused in the past. "Alex. Did anyone abuse you?" i said. he just looked at me. "When...i..was...younger..." "Oh...by who?" i asked. "My real father" "Oh..not my dad right?" I asked curious. "He isnt my real father and if he was i dont think we would be mates" he said. "Oh yes of course and oh...babe..i'm sorry you had to go through that" "Its okay...I'm sorry how i act.." he said. "Its okay.." "Please Love me" "As in actual love or like care?" "I DONT CARE" Yeah im going skip what happened next. But im assuming you get the picture.

New Beginnings

So a few weeks later i was started to feel happier and he made me smile so much. I dont think i really felt that depressed anymore or maybe i was hiding it im not sure. But he made me so happy. I was trying really hard to be very happy. I'm not completely sure if it was working but i felt quite happy well for now. I was sitting in the room with Alex and cuddling up to him. He was my everything and i was so glad to have him in my life. "Alex" I said. "Yes?"  "I.." "what?" "I Lo..." 'What? is it?" I looked to the floor and im not completely sure but i kept acting shy around him not on purpose. "I..Love..you" i blushed. "Awh.. i love you too"  His scent...it made me feel so weird.. I had the sudden urge to kiss him. So i looked up but i was blushing so bad. Then i placed my lips on his and then we kissed....quite alot...so yes we were making out. My Best Friend decided to visit at this time.  She was let in by my mum and came in and saw us kissing. "Oh..Um..Sorry guys" she said. i pulled back and saw her. My face went red. "Its alright Alexia" she smiled at me. then she walked over to me and smiled. "Yous are so cute" Then she hugged me. A Best friend, an actual family and Alex this was pretty good. I guess you could say. Life was Perfect.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 09.02.2013

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