Prologue: Missing the Warmth of my Mother

My mother died when I was only 7 and now I'm 17. I still remember her. The faint memory of her might not be completely lucid, but I can still hazily see her bright face, long dark hair, and those beautiful brown eyes that could take your breath away. She always had a wide shimmering smile. I wish I could hear her voice, feel her warm embrace, and even cry and whine to her. If she'd see me like this she would probably tell me to be brave. I miss her. Every day and night I miss her.

 

Right after my mother passed away, my father remarried an evil witch. She took control over my father and his money, our  house, and she thinks she can control my life?! I am not going to bow down to a heartless, greedy, abusive bitch.

 

 I know, I need help, but I've tried. You can't even imagine how much I've tried to tell my father, to tell someone, anyone; however it's not that easy. I have friends, yes. But what can they do?...They should take care of themselves instead of worrying over my own problems.

 

Chapter 1: The Murals within Me

Ever since Biana perpetrated my father and intruded our lives, my life's become loathsome. I began to walk through a thorny path..... and I've continued to do so. Unfortunately, I just keep walking circles and circles; like a maze with no exits, no returns, and no hopes. 

 

The sound of a knock wakes me up and in seconds I'm embraced by 2 big arms as big, soft, and warm as my mothers. I knew that second it was my father, "Wake up sleepy head, you'll be late for school" Finally, my dad is back from work, "Dad, you've been away for so long, I missed you" I cleared my raspy throat. I opened my eyes to see a wall covered with portraits, landscapes, and the morning rays of sun coming in through the window. I knew it, he's still gone, its been more than a couple months. Sometimes I just feel like he won't return ever again, I'm afraid that he might disappear, I'm afraid that he will be too far long gone that he'll start fading away in my memories like my mother, I'm deeply afraid of abandonment by my only one family that I have left. Every morning I wake up with recurring dreams or nightmares or sometimes both. Honestly, I prefer to live in my dreams than in reality.

I twist and turn in my bed, complaining and whining to the world... I still have to get up, it's unavoidable. I drag my body to the bathroom, I sit in thinking about my morning and 1st school day. I haven't gone to school for a long time because I was being homeschooled for a while since I had a surgery. The recuperation took a couple months longer. The last time I saw my father was a little before, during, and a little after my surgery, then he left immediately for work business. I get up, flush and proceeded to wash my hands which then squeezed a face wash bottle to cleanse my facial skin. I then grabbed a toothbrush and toothpaste to clean my teeth. I walked into my walk-in closet wondering if my friends missed me hanging out with them; probably not, I mean they visited me often. I'm glad, because I would have gone insane without them.

I reached in for a pair of maroon jeans, a plain black blouse, I put on a plain black and white varsity jacket from my favorite band, I fit in a wide brim maroon fedora, and finally I slip on my black creeper shoes. Ready for my day!...... No, no, of course not. I'm a mess...

I go with what I want and I wear what I want to wear with no fear of intimidation. I do not lack of self-confidence; however, I am of course.... not completely happy with my life as per to say. Living along with this person makes me dream of a life where mom is still alive and very much happy, all together.... Just the 3 of us, all back together as one big but small happy family...

However, since this is the real cruel reality, I had to make changes within me. I built internal walls made of graphene, therefore it can't be touched, harmed, broken, or moved at all. I've secluded myself from the reach of others. I've mentally and emotionally isolated myself from society's reach.  

Chapter 2: Morning Plight

I continue my morning "routine" with putting on face cream to moisturize my skin and just a bit of powder to make it seem that I'm alive.... even though I'm dying inside or already dead. I brush in a bit of light pink eyeshadow on the inner corner of my eyelid and finish off with a light brown and I blend in the 2 light colors. I carefully make light streaks of mascara on my eyelashes and I complete my face by applying a plum lipstick. From my jewelry, I grab my most valued possession which is a necklace with a couple of rings in it which mom gave to me before she passed away and I also put on my friendship necklace from my friends. I checked the time to see if I was late, but thankfully I'm right on time. I grab my comb to separate each of my bedhead tangled hair and I grab my backpack. As I was opening my door and heading downstairs I hear "ELLIIA! When the hell do you think of getting up for school!" Great, Biana the witch is awake.

As I saw her coming out of her cave, I laugh inside at how hideous Biana looks, like a drunk lewd woman. "You went clubbing last night again?" I signed. "Shut up bitch, my head is about to explode! Get me pain medication, NOW!" she hissed. "Well stop drinking and clubbing every fucking night..." I responded. "You insolent stupid brat, are you deaf!? Go fetch me the fucking pain killers, you stupid bitch, I'm not in the mood for your yapping!" "Well, I'm not in the mood for your shit..." I mumbled. I was so sick and tired of listening to her voice so instead I started walking towards the steps when Biana forcefully grabs my wrist  "I don't fucking care if your in the mood or not..." Biana brings me in closer while tightly hurting my wrist "You listen to me you..." I cut her off before she could utter another word and shove her away "I'm not your maid, servant, or a pet, I'm not even your daughter, YOU do NOT own me" " I am your mother now! I am the wife of your father, I am Mrs." "NO! You are not a Hart! You will never be part of the Hart family!" I aggressively declared, "A family name is meaningless if you are not a real family by heart! You are not welcome here, you!..." In seconds Biana slapped me, grabbed me by my shoulders, and began shaking me "I need to put sense in you" She gnarled. I immediately shoved Biana away, making her fall to the ground "Sense? What sense? You need sense and logic than I do because you have none... Don't you see? We are not a family and we will never be one" I deadly and coldy glared in her eyes.

As I left her in distraught, I walked down the stairs while rubbing my shoulders and touching my cheek that sting from the slap. I need to get out of here before it gets more heated. I open the door and walked toward the gate that was a couple meters away from the house. I opened the gate door and closed it behind me in order to get to my dark blackberry crush metallic car. I locked the doors after getting inside the vehicle and I turned on the engine. As I caught a glimpse of Biana frowning towards me, I turned on my speakers and all I can hear now is some Asian metal music being played. Biana seems to be holding her lungs because she cares too much what the gossipy neighbors might speak of her "Darling, you forgot to get breakfast!" Biana yells in a faked sweet voice. Before she can reach me, I almost flipped her off, but I scrolled my window just enough for her to hear my voice "I didn't make breakfast so I'll eat at school" I responded sarcastically while slowly pressing the pedal and rolled the window up to close it "....bitch" 

Chapter 3: New Faces and Old Friends

As I walked through the corridors and hallways I became lost in my thoughts. I'm glad I made it to school on time... I honestly wouldn't care; however, I desperately want to graduate high school to go to college and move into the dorms. I could move out and get my own space, but I've tried and failed miserably.

I stared at the door, anxiety runs through my core, I stand still trying to calm myself, I hate this.... I hate that I have some sort of social anxiety, I hate the stares... the unnecassary unwanted attention. I close my eyes while sighing. I place my hand on the door knob. Sweat starts trickling down my hands and rubbing onto the knob. I slowly start twisting the knob. The door swings open and in I saw faces I didn't and did recognize and my "new" English teacher Mrs. Harthwon. Mrs. Harthwon briefly introduces me even though I am technically not new, but since I was away for so long I'm guessing a few students transferred here.

In the right corner I see my friend Zeus making devilish corners on each side of his cheeks I wonder 'What are you up to now you sneaky smiling bastard?' I almost burst out of laughter in front of everyone and I try to hold my smile. I come back to reality when Mrs. Harthwon ask a question and she realizes I've been having a mental conversation with Zeus and clearly ignoring her and my introduction. She almost snaps and ends up sending me next to an empty desk even though I requested to sit next to Zeus, but she reclined. She was not having it....Just like me... Great.

Mrs. Harthwon began to teach her lesson then the phone interrupted her which gave me time to turn around and my eyes searched for a boy with faded white dyed hair, broad shoulders and a slim face with bright hazel eyes. I at least wanted to say hi to Zeus, but the Mrs. Harthwon interrupted "Students, we have one more new student joining our class besides Ellia." I swayed the idea just thinking 'Ok cool, can I just go over there to that corner to talk to my friend Zeus who I haven't seen in ages -even though I saw him just a couple days ago'.

Mrs. Harthwon then said " He is coming to class right now, I want you to warmly welcome him since he is new and coming from abroad", I wasn't really into what she was saying, but I snapped back to reality when she said "he" and "abroad" I asked "Where is he coming from?" Mrs. Harthwon didn't know how to reply to that since she herself didn't know exactly where he's from. I just knew he was a boy and he who I don't know is from abroad, maybe hes coming from the other side of the world. My curiosity escalated immensely. All I know is, he is coming through that door in any second.

Chapter 4: Captivation at its Finest

 Jay 

As I walked in through the door, I saw everyone's unfamiliar faces quite down, they had their judging eyes staring at me. While the teacher introduced me, I scanned the room.

"Class, this is our new student Jay Lee, please welcome him." She then turns her gaze to me "Jay, I heard you were from abroad, could you please tell us a little about yourself?" 

"Hello, I'm Jay Lee..."

 

Ellia

My eyes glared at the moving door, there he was, our new student. He confidently strode inside the classroom and positioned his bold structured yet slender body in front of all of us. He was wearing a dark grey V-neck shirt, black thin finn jeans, and a pair of black boots. I was very surprised, intrigued, and utterly astonished. While having my eyes locked on him, I realized that his curious eyes has a powerful stare that could have anyone falling to their knees. His sharp opulent pouty lips started moving and the voice that came out of his mouth almost made me moan. I was loosing my cool.

"Hello, I'm Jay Lee, I am Korean-American. I just came back from my hometown, Korea. It has been years since I've been back in the U.S. and if you are wondering, No, I'm NOT your stereotypical Asian guy" 

Wow, he is dead serious, not intimidated at all. His boldness is something to admire. Mrs. Harthwon seemed in dismay, she was taken aback just like everyone else. Everyone knew not to mess with Mr. Jay-too-tough-to-mess-with- Lee. For some reason I wanted to laugh so bad, I couldn't hold it anymore. I started smiling while holding my breath so that I wouldn't blurt out anything. I his my face behind my sleeve while thinking, is this guy for real? Did he just made the whole class go silence after a few words he said? 

 

Jay

After I said what I had to say, everyone shut off. Their reactions were priceless, Am I that serious? It's not like I didn't mean it... There was one girl in particular sitting 3 seats away from where I was standing and she seemed like she was taking all of this like a joke. I couldn't really see her upper face, but I could see her teasing smile hiding behind her hands. She started gushing out and the whole class turned their attention to her and me at the same time. The teacher gave her a warning glare,"T-Thank you Mr. Lee for your nice introduction and please do not worry about stereotyping, this is a no-discrimination safe zone, but if you ever feel attacked, harassed, or discriminated, please notify your counselors, your parents, the principle, or me."

 

Ellia 

I just fucked up... Mrs. Harthwon gave me a warning sign with her firing wide eyes and tried to ease the tension. I tried to hide away my face. Mrs. Harth-witch-won then said something that internally freaked me out. She appointed me to be his partner..!

His gallant figure strode toward the empty desk  NEXT TO ME! That witch-won seated him next to ME.. oh god.

 

 

Impressum

Texte: Clarissa Nolazco
Bildmaterialien: Clarissa Nolazco
Lektorat: Clarissa Nolazco
Übersetzung: Clarissa Nolazco
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.09.2014

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