The Two Trees
“Beloved, gaze in thane own heart.
Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle.
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while:
For there a fatal image grows
That the stormy night receives,
Roots half hidden under snows,
Broken boughs and blackened leaves.
For ill things turn to barrenness
In the dim glass the demons hold.
The glass of outer weariness,
Made when God slept in times of old.
There, through the broken branches, go
The ravens of unresting thoughts:
Flying, crying, and fro,
Cruel claw and hungry throat,
”Or else they stand and sniff the wind,
An shake their ragged wings: alas!
Thy tender eyes grow all unkind:
Gaze no more in the bitter glass”


Seeking
I seek through the open sea…
I have no idea what I’m seeking
I only know it’s something important
I must keep seeking
I can feel it now, closer…
I know one day I will find it
I know it belongs to me
I at last found you in my deep red ocean of my Heart…


…Blossoms and Roses rise from the ground
Where your bare feet touched . Wings spread out
Of my hidden as I listen to your voice speak my name
Over and over . Sweet honey words ring in my mind
When you speak to me. Promises and accomplishments.
I rushed to you as the wind blows me to you. In a bear hug
Me and I secure in you arms. For those sweet moments I
To forget everything except you warmth self. I want you to
Make me feel better. Tied till the end is what the wind whispers
To me but is it true? Could there really be a happy ending for us…
My vision blurs in an instant and he vanished into thin air ashes.
My world became pitch dark as the sinful ones. I became mute and no endless
Words seem to come out. Inside me I feel omit. I can’t feel my joints no more
And I seem to be ominous. In my hands I hold the remains from my sweet boy.
I suppose that when you have something that’s to good to be true then it’s
Not real, just an illusion that I hold in my scarred heart…


Dark memories seek me once again. Alone in the shadows whispering my sour name in vain. With despair and disgrace its what’s left for me to hold. Empty words filled my soul . But somehow I still hold my strength and a shred of hope…Foolish the ones that think that their will is good but when I seek them trough their souls I only can define hatred burning into them. Funny how things are in this world, they seem to claim that they are good but in reality they are just a bunch of ashes ready to blow away. But no worry for me, that I know I will move on from this dark path, that has cause me great pain, that I am once again trailing. I will find myself once again when I soon figure out how to get out of here…


I find myself on recovery road…I feel nothing, I feel as if the world had stop and I’m just waiting for the time to run once again…I found that in and instant my unspoken thought was answer. Today the time will run once more. No longer will I feel an empty numb. Today I live again. Enjoying what I have missed for so long. I feel it now coming through and desire taking over. I have dug out my old self that was lost at sea. I love coming back, but…I’m so confuse, no it’s not a misunderstanding, it’s something else , something more…Fear…Fear of coming back. Fear of winning. Fear of losing. Fear of being hurt. Though I do love the taste of reality and I do lust for another change(chance). Too late now to turn back, the clock is moving once again and my time has come. I’m running out in the danger…Stronger…Ready? yes, I am!…Nothing to stop me now…


I feed on lies. Tears falling to the shattered grass. Left behind from the future. The crackling stones, hurt my on my bones. Fines blooming with hate out of me. Tears and fears fall out and it starts to shivered with rain. Then the dreams grow narrow and black. Slash and burn my bloody soul till darkness fades. Glass breaks, beads break. Dripping out red sour stream shadows creep out when stones R.I.P. Red lines, red flames to the open dark. Yellow eyes stare at me. Gasping for a last breath. Water dries up when death arrives…


One is one when with feeling of despair. Wishing to be able to open yourself up. But when dark shadows overwhelmed you.
No need to put an effort. As spoken the truth more and more dark shadows left behind with you. To make yourself feel content you wish and dream. You mind the possibilities of the future. All you get is hatred from those auras that surround you. “Never trust anyone” yes that is the right words to content with. Just listen and never respond…


Confusion is one of the most deadly killers. It rises through your soul and ends up as no light and no life within you. Deep blackness of shore surround you . A gaze so far, so lost. An d no longer welcome. Dream no more because there is no future , no longer…Walk away because its the only choice left and is the best thing to do now. Cry no more young one because it’s the best you could have done and you deeply know its not the end but the start. The start of a newborn HOPE…


I have no regret of caring for him…but I do regret for opening my heart and my freedom…Regret of even having a voice in the first place is a shame. I know that I should be grateful and I know it but it doesn’t hurt to imagine of the “ what ifs” But though I do like to speak up and have my opinions be heard…But in the right way and in the right moment when its needed.


Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

Ricky Baker


Lonely Girl, Lonely Heart


She curled up on her windowsill,
A lonely girl, crying out her heart,
For the boy that never loved her,
And the friends that just don't care.

She wallows up in her pain,
The girl with the lonely heart,
The girl with no boy to love,
But she didnt see what mattered.

She walked up the hallway, makeup smuged,
Tears running, the people they stared.
Untill now, they never knew,
She was just a lonely girl, with a lonely heart waiting for someone to love.

Jacquelyn Ireland


Dome and done; two different words… Two different meanings but they seem to collide together and express the meaning of disaster and sabotage…relive and relief the words of joy and no longer suffering…the phrase that says that “ You never know what you have until you lose it so cherish it” or it just walks away and the minute it walks away you now have the longing of that minute of despair to come back…When will i see her again and when will she come back. She left me with others of my kind but it is not her or will never be and I am missing every second that passes by and every minute…waiting every day at the door and screaming to the heavens to return her back to me .I know what is done is the right thing that was done but cant help but feel selfish and self absorb. Dreaming and hope no longer mean anything to me no more and the fact that they are still being use in a sentence or speaking of it has no meaning for you and no longer do they need to exist. All hope has vanished and has walked away like everything else that came in…Now lonely with no one else but somehow for some reason there is still of piece of hope but you wish for it to be gone and never ever touch me again and leave for once and for all…Lingering still in this silky path of life while mine still survives and others walk to death of tomorrow. Now I am writing with my pain in my tasteless mouth and showing pride and gaining ever so more strength into my words…But none of it is worth to live if im not next to life and wisdom…..


“Why so sad” the ghost of my past yelps
shouldn’t you know!?
“Why I only see but I do not understand the such feelings of humans”
Why even acknowledge that I am still here and see the pain of my past, present, and future…why even live and see such pain of my own and Why couldn’t I have flied in the heavens like the beautiful angels of God and serve good deeds and not to feel such pains inside of my soul and sin so much…
The angelic ghost does not speak and walks away.
Yes of course she left me because she does not understand pain and will never oh how I envy her for her wings that cause even more pain inside of me if it is even possible. Such wonders of the world cause interest to me and such disasters that damage my soul for eternity and will be of me in the afterlife. Nothing bad is worth in this world to damage the Glory that will come but it seems that I will never touch the promise land…Because I have sin so much internally and I am selfish and I have not yet have gotten rid of it. Now that I am all alone I wait for my life to end and see what I have done in the presence of my Lord and what will become of me,,,


Suck in the darkness of the past and walks away from the broken glass and the dust that it all that remains wash away your conflicts to the galaxy so the others can feel and see your pain and deal with it. No longer will you have to carry that merchandise, No need to wary because there is always hope…but what if no longer aids comes to the rescue and your stuck in the deep hollow shadows of your worst nightmares, Yes you would conquer them but what will be of you after the divesting journey? Will you die alone? Die when your struggling to survive? What will become of you…what Is your destiny...


I have receive a letter that contains the forbidden fruit. I took it thinking the would be no harm containing within itself. So wrong was I. I took the letter that contain the unknown. Took it and burn into gray ashes and wash them away. I know it never meant harm but I harm me in so many ways. I did not read what was meant for me to read, kept it in the dark and ignorance. The pain though still remains. Why I am I trusted? Why me see the pain within people’ s eyes and not cry in front of them, I keep it inside lock away. Like I have transfer their pain into me. I have not yet cry out the pain and sorrow. A few drops come out of my heart but not yet have I relieved myself. I need someone to tell, someone to hold on to. But it seems like aid for me isn’t coming any sooner…


I don’t understand why they say “a beautiful snow white winter” when to me it means the death of so many beautiful living things. it’s a black winter with a cold shallow heart. A frostbite to come and cold you to your inner cores. A cold dark winter, it is to me. When all life dies away and wet crystals of tears are released throughout the gray skies. When I took outside my window I see shadows looming next to darkness and welcoming loneliness and death. I dislike this image in my mind but in some way it describes more or less life all around me and my past…


The last time I lost something was trust. Trust is something very special and dear. It is one of the most important gift you can give to friends or someone you care about. But when trust Is lost between the two groups no longer will there be a secure bound holding them together. Both will fall apart into many pieces. So when trust is giving to you, do not let it go. Keep it secure and close to you so it won’t break and give trust back in the same way that other person gave it to you. Trust is not a silly thing to play around with.


I say many things about change and life. I try not to judge someone by its cover. Nobody perfect though and will never be. Trying is better than nothing. Trying to change myself and others views. Trying to learn about myself and others. Trying to is a magical matter but on my way to change I might get lost and lose hope. Though faith is never gone so long because once again try to find my way to change and sometimes I do get there and walk out as a winner but that’s not always the case. There’s always a win or a loss, and destiny sometimes choices to put grief into my arms. So I can carry it out to light it up in hope. Once again become a wonderful sensation of change…


At least have sympathy for the one young girl suffering from amnesia. Have mercy for the poor and wealthy. Do not give up faith Keep charging up to hope because its the only want that can comfort you unless you kick her out . Have compassion for war, hunger, and the lonely. Learn from the hearing and listening so y0u can help others and not commit the same mistakes as others did. Have mercy for the world and boundaries that they have all done great sacrifices for the survival of life. Have faith, hope, and compassion for yourself because if you don’t understand yourself then who will for you and others?


Shallow inside…Nothing within except my soul…Thoughts breaking me and hurting me. Thinking through the future and praying to God to never let my hand go cause that will be the end of me. To never forgot of me. To never lose me no matter what holds in the future. Seems like praying isn’t enough. Just know that I want to be with him for eternity, feel pureness and love. He never said that life would be easy but it seems like I’m being challenge! The obstacles that have been scattered in my path haunt me and want to take me to hell. I pray for my angel and my Mary to have compassion in me and pray for me…

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.05.2011

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