Chapter 1
Lemon Avenue

Frank stood at the end of the driveway. He looked out across the street. Lemon Avenue. It didn’t seem so dangerous. And it didn't seem so far to the other side. He thought about how fast he could run from where he was standing back to where his house sat. He knew he could cross the street faster than that, before any cars came. He knew he could do it. But his mom didn’t allow him and his older sister Kathleen to cross the street without an adult.
“Frankie!” his sister called out from the backyard.
Frank turned. He looked back again at the blacktop street. “One day!” he thought.
Frank practiced how fast he could run, heading to the backyard. His sister called out again, “Frankieeee!” Frank ran over the driveway. He pushed the fence gate open. He ran past the first house on his right. (That was where his grandparents lived.) He zoomed by the kumquat tree on his left. He chugged his legs faster and past the front yard of his house. He turned the corner and reached Kathleen. She was sitting on the bottom step of the backdoor. She had three tin cake pans halfway filled with mud. Freshly made mud pies!
“Here. You add the last layer to this one,” said Kathleen. If Kathleen was wetting and mixing dirt Frank was there! “Ya’ know, I was thinking Frankie. We always make these great mud pies. But they never get eaten,” Kathleen said.
“Yea. So?” Frank replied.
“Well, I was thinking you could eat a slice.”
“What? No way. It’s dirt.”
“What if I went into the kitchen and got the frosting mom puts on her cakes?” Kathleen asked.
“That Betty Crocker stuff?” Frank asked. “The white frosting?” His eyes opened wide.
“Yes!” Kathleen said.
“Hmmmm. Okay, but only if you spread a lot on top!” Frank said.
Kathleen jumped up. She snuck into the kitchen. She opened the screen door very quietly. She came back out with a butter knife and the can of frosting. She popped off the lid. She pushed the knife into the frosting. She carefully covered one of the mud pies with the fluffy white stuff. Then she cut a triangle shaped wedge of the pie and held it out.
“Here you go!” she said.
“Ummm…do I have to swallow it?” Frank asked.
“Yesssss!” Kathleen said, grinning. “The frosting will make it yummy!”
Frank turned the piece of pie upside down in his hand. “What are you doing?” Kathleen asked.
“If I’m gonna eat this. I want the frosting to be on my tongue. Less dirt, more frosting hits my taste buds!” Frank explained.
“Okay! Smart!” she said.
Frank opened his mouth, moved the slice of mud pie into his mouth, and…WOMP…chomped down. He chewed quickly and…GULP…began swallowing. Kathleen waited. She waited some more. Then, Frank stood up and started jumping up and down. He was trying to just focus on the taste of the frosting, not the dirt. He had white frosting and wet dirt crusted on the edges of his mouth. He looked up. And there she was… His mom was standing at the screen door, hands on her hips.
“WHAT is going on?” Mrs. Murphy asked.
Frank stopped jumping. Kathleen stood up, holding the can of frosting behind her back.
“We’re making mud pies, Mom!” Kathleen said. “And Frankie decided to eat one.”
“Frankie!” Mrs. Murphy said.
Frank tried to say, “Mom!” but all that came out was a piece of half-chewed wet dirt.
Mrs. Murphy shook her head back and forth and giggled a little. “It’s time for dinner. Come in and wash your hands,” Mrs. Murphy said. “And Frankie, you wash your face too.”
Frank looked at Kathleen. She stared back with a grin, a grin that went with having two horns, a tail and a pitchfork.
Kathleen had won again!

Chapter 2
Flashback - Baby Frank

Frank’s whole family (his dad, his mom and Kathleen) was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. But Frank’s family moved to California. And that’s where Frank was born. Kathleen was a year and eight months old when baby Frankie came home from the hospital. And she couldn’t wait to get into trouble with her brand new brother.
Frank was only a few months old when Kathleen started dumping things into his crib. Then she started dumping things into his playpen. Dolls, spoons, cookies, blocks – it didn’t matter, if she could pick it up, she tossed it into Frank’s playpen.
One day, she found something flat, round and shiny. It was copper colored. And it was small. Kathleen flipped a penny into Frank’s playpen. Now, the first thing a baby will do when he is able to pick something up is stick that something in his mouth. And that’s exactly what baby Frank did. Then…he swallowed it.
Kathleen stood and watched Frank. She noticed that he started gagging. Then he started turning purple. She ran to get her mom and dad. Mr. and Mrs. Murphy knew that something was stuck in Frank’s throat. They got in the car and rushed to the hospital. At the hospital the nurses and doctors rushed Frank in. They told Mr. and Mrs. Murphy that a penny was stuck in Frank’s windpipe and it was moving its way toward his lung. They didn’t have time to operate. They used a brand new device. It looked something like mini-pliers. It reached down into his throat. It grabbed a hold of the coin. And the doctor pulled that little penny out – just in the nick of time. Baby Frankie survived!
This would mark one of the ONLY times Kathleen ever got caught getting Frank into trouble.

Chapter 3
The Kid Next Door

Frank and Kathleen were surrounded by all kinds of interesting things and people. They had two dogs, Hilde and Heidi. They were German short hairs. There was their grandpa and grandma. They lived in the house that sat on the front of their property. There was the kumquat tree that grew along the side of the yard. And there was the large family that lived next door. Frank and Kathleen were never quite sure exactly how many kids there were. But one kid stood out above all the rest in the family. His name was Leon. Leon was five years old. He had curly blonde hair. And he was strange.
One day Leon walked up to the fence and called out, “Hey! Ya’ wanna see something?”
Frank and Kathleen looked up from their mud pies. They couldn’t believe their eyes. Leon was standing at the fence wearing his underwear. And only his underwear.
Kathleen whispered, “Frankie, he’s wearing tighty whities – that’s all!”
“Oh my gosh!” Frank said.
“What do you want, Leon?” Kathleen asked.
“You guys dare me?” Leon asked.
“Dare what?” asked Kathleen.
“Ya’ dare me to eat this bug?” Leon asked.
Kathleen and Frank stood up and walked over to the tall fence. They were both very happy that fence separated his yard from theirs.
“Ummm. No! We’ve seen you do it before!” Kathleen said. (And they had seen him do it before. Leon had eaten lots of dead bugs. He was always trying to impress everyone by eating different insects.)
“Yea. But this daddy long leg is still alive! Ya’ dare me?” “Still no!” Kathleen said.
“Yea. It’s gross, Leon!” Frank said.
But Leon stuffed the spider, moving legs and all, into his mouth anyway. He chewed it up. Crunch, crunch, munch. And then…he swallowed it. He licked his lips and screamed, “BLAHHHHHHHH!” Then he ran away.
“Weird!” Kathleen said.
Frank said, “Yea!” and thought to himself, “Man, he doesn’t even need frosting!”

Chapter 4
Grandpa and Jesse James

Kathleen and Frank weren’t in the mood for mud pie making anymore after watching Leon eat a daddy long leg. They walked up to their grandparents’ house. Their Grandpa was sitting in his chair on the front porch. He was always sitting on the porch, chewing tobacco. That means he was always spitting out a mouthful of brown, smelly juice in between every couple of sentences when he told a story. And their grandpa’s stories were long and adventurous. On this day their grandpa started telling a story about the Wild West outlaw Jesse James.
Grandpa Murphy said, “I used to hold the reins of his horse for him. (Spittooee!) Jesse James walked into the bank to get some of his money. He came out with a bag full of coins. (Spittooee!!) He flip, flip, flipped me a gold coin and said ‘Thanks kid!’ (Spittooee!!!)”
“Was he stealing that bag of coins, Grandpa?” Frank asked.
“(Spittooee!) Nahhh! If he were stealin’ it, he wouldn’t a had time to flip me one a those coins, would he?” Grandpa answered.
“Oh. Okay!” Frank said.
“(Spittooee!!) Mmhmm,” Grandpa said. Then he nodded off and fell asleep.
“How old is grandpa?” asked Frank.
“I dunno. Sixty?” Kathleen said. “Why?”
“Cuz I’m trying to figure out if he’s telling the truth about Jesse James. When was the Wild West?”
“I dunno. You can look it up in the library when you start school,” Kathleen said.
Frank was starting kindergarten in September. Now he had something to look forward to in kindergarten. He could research Jesse James. The only reason he was excited about school before was he knew his mom would finally let him and Kathleen cross Lemon Avenue. They were going to have to be able to cross Lemon Avenue to walk back and forth to school. Baldwin Stocker Elementary was on Baldwin Avenue and it sat on the other side of Lemon Avenue.
“Ya’ think mom will let us practice crossing the street soon?” Frank asked.
“No, it’s only July,” Kathleen said.
“Oh,” said Frank.

Chapter 5
The Dogs, The Kumquat Tree and The Lemon Tree

The next morning Frank was up early. He looked out the window into the yard. He saw Heidi and Hilde running in circles chasing their own tails. And they didn’t even have tails.
The whole property was surrounded by fencing. In the front there was a white wooden large gate, with chicken wire attached. The gate was supposed to make the dogs stay on the property. It didn’t really work. Hilde and Heidi were German shorthairs – and German shorthairs are fast! They were always jumping five feet into the air, over the fence and down the street. They would race away with their tongues flapping out. It was like they were chasing some invisible wild animal. When this happened, it was the only time Frank was glad he wasn’t allowed to cross Lemon Avenue; he didn’t want to have to chase after those dogs.
Frank got out of bed and did his normal morning stuff: brush teeth, get dressed and eat Rice Krispies. He threw his cereal bowl into the sink and went outside. He ran from his front porch to the fence and back to the porch. He did it seven times. He wished he had a stopwatch so he could time himself.
Right along the edge of the property, in between the two houses there was a kumquat tree. A kumquat is a fruit. It is almost like a mini-orange, but it is oval shaped and a little bigger than a grape. Frank loved picking the kumquats off the tree. He popped the whole little fruit into his mouth – skin and all. The skin tasted sour and the fruit inside tasted sweet. Frank imagined it as his own personal candy tree. There was also a lemon tree in the backyard. Frank thought that was why Lemon Avenue was named Lemon Avenue.
Frank’s grandma told him that eating too many lemons makes a person’s blood thin. And that freaked out Frank. He was afraid if he ever got a cut after eating too many lemons, he might bleed to death! So Frank hardly ever ate lemons.

Chapter 6
Runaway Dogs

After running back and forth, eating kumquats and avoiding Leon next door Frank was sitting on the fence at the driveway. Kathleen called out to him, “Frankieeeeee! Mom said to watch the dogs. She’s letting them come out!”
“Okayyyyy!” Frank screamed back.
Frank watched Kathleen let them out the front door. They leaped over the little porch. They started running faster and faster – straight towards Frank. Frank’s eyes opened up. His jaw dropped. He saw Hilde’s and Heidi’s tongues flapping in the wind. He knew what that meant – the dogs were aiming to jump right over the fence.
Frank jumped down and both dogs leaped over the fence. They ran straight toward Lemon Avenue and turned left.
“Kathleeeeennnn!” Frank called out, “Mommmmm! Daaaad! The dogs escaped!!!!”
Frank’s mom, dad and Kathleen came running out of the house. Mr. Murphy was holding two leashes. All four Murphys began chasing after the dogs, running down Lemon Avenue. For the first time ever Frank noticed that Hilde and Heidi weren’t chasing invisible wild animals after all. Instead, they were chasing cars. Both dogs were barking and growling while running full speed. The funny thing was neither dog ever ran directly into the street. They ran right along the edge, sort of running sideways at times. Frank thought it was almost like his mom told the dogs too that they weren’t allowed to go into the street without an adult.
Eventually the dogs stopped running and barking and they walked back with Mr. Murphy holding both leashes.
Frank looked up at his mom. “Mom, it seems like you told the dogs they can’t cross the street either,” he said.
“No, honey! I wish. And I wish they listened to me about not jumping the fence like you and your sister do about the street!” she said.
“I noticed they were chasing cars,” Frank said.
“You’re right about that, son,” Mr. Murphy said. “And I have an idea about how to fix it!”
“What?” Kathleen asked.
“We’re going to get a bucket full of vinegar and water. Your mom’s going drive the car down the street. I’m going to sit in the backseat. We’ll let the dogs chase after our car. And when the time is right, I’ll dowse them both with the magic potion!”
“What will that do?” Frank asked.
Kathleen quickly spoke up, “It will teach them to stop chasing cars! I love it!”
“You love it?” Frank asked. “Why? Hilde and Heidi’s eyes will sting!”
“I know. But they’ll stop jumping the fence.” Then she whispered to Frank. “But I love it for another reason. Shhh. I’ll tell you later!” Kathleen said.

Chapter 7
Dad’s Experiment and Dr. Pavlov’s Dogs

“It’s called operant conditioning. I learned it when I was in school,” Mr. Murphy said as he filled the green bucket with vinegar and water from the hose.
Frank couldn’t believe his ears. “That’s what we are going to do to the dogs with the vinegar and water? We’re going to operate?” he asked.
Mr. Murphy started laughing. “No, you silly kid,” he said. “I said oper-ANT conditioning. Not oper-ATE conditioning!”
“What’s that?”
“A long time ago there was this doctor. His name was Dr. Pavlov. He wanted to prove that someone could be trained to react in different ways to different situations. So he trained dogs. He tried to teach a dog to respond to something by adding a good or bad thing to go with it. If he wanted a dog to like something, he put something the dog would like with it. If he wanted a dog to not like something, he put something the dog would hate with it,” Mr. Murphy explained.
“I sorta get it,” Frank said.
“Okay. I’ll explain it this way. Does your mouth water when you hear the ice cream truck’s bell jingling?”
“Yes! Totally!” Frank said.
Does your mouth water because of the sound of the bell or because you know there’s ice cream coming?”
“The ice cream!” Frank shouted.
“Exactly. And that’s what Dr. Pavlov did with his dogs. He fed meat to his dogs. That made the dogs’ mouths water. Then he started ringing a bell each time before he fed them the meat. He did this a bunch of times. Finally, he could just ring the bell and the dogs’ mouths would water. The dogs expected that meat was coming when they heard the bell.”
“So he sorta tricked them?” Frank asked.
“Yes! But he called it conditioning them,” Mr. Murphy explained.
“Ohhh! So you’re gonna trick Hilde and Heidi. They are NOT going to like vinegar in their faces. Then they’ll think whenever they chase a car they might get splashed with vinegar in their faces. Then they will hate chasing cars. I get it!!!”
“You got it!” Mr. Murphy said.
Frank was thrilled that he figured it out. But he still wasn’t sure how he felt about vinegar being splashed in the dogs’ faces.
Soon Mr. Murphy had everything in place. Mr. and Mrs. Murphy were at the end of Lemon Avenue, waiting in the car. Frank was standing at the edge of the driveway. It was his job to signal to his parents when the dogs were escaping. Kathleen was standing at the gate opening, ready to let the dogs out.
Kathleen gave the sign – three fingers up in the air. “One, two, three – GO!” she said.
The dogs rushed out, heading straight to the end of the driveway. Frank gave the sign; he raised his hand and quickly lowered it. The race was on!
Mrs. Murphy drove the car along Lemon Avenue. Mr. Murphy sat in the backseat holding the filled bucket outside of the car window. The car and the dogs met at exactly the same time. The dogs raced and turned left. They barked at the car. They chased it. Frank could see his mom giggling. His dad’s eyebrows were crunched up. The dogs were running alongside the curb when Mr. Murphy swung the bucket and sent the potion into the air. It went right at the running dogs. Then…they stopped. The potion flew and splattered right in front of the dogs. Not a drop hit them. The dogs just stood there, tilting their heads, looking at Mr. Murphy with his arms hanging out the backseat window, holding that empty green bucket. Then they sniffed the puddle of potion and started licking it up.
Mr. Murphy’s experiment was a complete failure!
Frank leashed up the dogs and walked them back to the house. A few minutes later Mr. and Mrs. Murphy pulled up in the car. Frank and Kathleen saw their mom giggling (a lot) and their dad was just shaking his head. His eyebrows were crunched up even more!

Chapter 8
Kathleen’s Experiment (The Plan)

Later that day Kathleen and Frank were riding their Big Wheels. “Listen, that kid Leon is gross,” Kathleen said, “and it’s wrong that he does that to bugs.”
“Yes,” Frank said.
“So I have an idea.”
“Uh oh,” Frank said.
“Remember yesterday when I whispered to you about loving dad’s idea?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Well, here’s what I loved about it: we can do that same thing to Leon!” Kathleen said. “Here’s the plan. I’ll stand at the kumquat tree, right by the fence. I’ll call him over and tell him that there’s a really weird looking bug on the fence. You know he’ll come running over to see if it looks delicious. Then, when he gets to the fence, you’ll splash him with the bucket of vinegar and water.”
“Where will I be standing?” Frank asked.
“That’s the really cool thing. You’ll be sitting up in the kumquat tree, above him,” Kathleen said.
Frank could see the look in her eyes. It was the same one that he imagined goes with those imaginary horns, tail and pitchfork.
“I dunno,” Frank said.
“Come on! You can do it!” Kathleen said.
“But what if the potion hurts his eyes or blinds him?”
“It won’t. You’ll be above him. You’ll just splash it on his head,” she said. “He’ll probably lick it up off the ground, just like the dogs did.”
Frank giggled. “Okay, I guess,” he said.
Another thing that Frank worried about was whether or not the branches would hold him. The kumquat tree wasn’t that big and the branches weren’t that strong. But he didn’t want to seem like he was wimpy, so he just agreed.

Chapter 9
Kathleen’s Experiment (Preparation)

The next day Kathleen was awake before Frank. Thump! Thump!! Thump!! Frank woke up to knocking on his door.
“Wake up Frankie!!” Kathleen said. “It’s time!”
“Time for what?” Frank asked.
“Time to prepare!”
“Huh? Oh…the potion. Okay, I’ll be ready soon.” Frank said.
“I’ll be waiting outside, by the back porch,” Kathleen said.
Frank went through his morning routine: brush teeth, get dressed and eat Rice Krispies. On this day he remembered two things. First he slid his favorite toy into his pocket – for good luck. It was his best Hot Wheel car, a silver Mustang with blue racing stripes. Second he remembered to put his bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. His mom was always reminding him. He was proud of himself. But the feeling didn’t last long. He started worrying about falling out of the tree. And worse than that, he worried about hurting Leon’s eyes with the potion. He sort of hoped he would fall out, that way he wouldn’t even have the chance to hurt Leon’s eyes.
Frank walked out the back door. Kathleen was pouring vinegar into the green bucket with one hand. With her other hand she was holding the hose, running water into the bucket. She looked like a mad scientist.
“Hey!” Kathleen said. “You ready?”
“I guess,” Frank said.
“Okay. Let’s go see if Leon is out and about,” Kathleen said.
“What’s that mean?” Frank asked.
“It means he’s out in the yard doing stuff – like eating bugs!” Kathleen said.
“Oh. Okay,” Frank said.
They walked halfway to the kumquat tree along the fence. Frank ran his fingers along the fence. It felt a little bit cold.
“The fence is cold. Is that a bad sign?” asked Frank.
“No. It’s just early, silly. In the morning metal gets cold. That’s all. What? Are you nervous?” she asked.
“Yes…no...maybe...I dunno,” Frank said.
“Don’t be. This is gonna work. And we’re gonna teach that goofy kid to not eat bugs anymore. It’s that operating conditioner thing dad told you about,” Kathleen said.
“It’s oper-ANT, not oper-ATE. Dad told me,” Frank said, feeling proud again that he knew something his sister didn’t.
“Whatever,” she said. “He’s gonna be a conditioner!”
Even though Frank knew it was oper-ANT, he was a little confused about the word “conditioner”. He thought that stuff went with shampoo. He knew his mom was always buying shampoo and conditioner. Frank had questions. But he knew Kathleen had only one thing on her mind. So he stopped talking about it all.

Chapter 10
Kathleen’s Experiment (Looking for Leon)

Kathleen and Frank didn’t have to wait long walking along the fence. Leon appeared, but this time he was wearing jeans and no shirt. There was something else, though.
“Holy Moly, Guacamole!” Kathleen said. “Look at him!”
“Wow!” Frank said.
Leon was standing up against a tree poking at the bark with a stick.
“What’s he doing?” Frank asked.
“He’s digging in the tree, probably looking for more bugs. But do you see what he’s wearing?”
“Yes! I think he’s wearing underwear over his jeans.” Frank said. Then Frank narrowed his eyes to see more clearly. “Kathleen, I think he’s wearing Batman underwear over his jeans!”
“He is!” she said, giggling.
Just then Leon’s little brother Kyle came running out of the house. Kyle was about three. He was wearing pajamas – the kind that have a built-in footie at the end of each leg. The ones with a rubbery bottom - like on a pair of slippers. And he was carrying a yellow, plastic baseball bat.
Kathleen and Frank were amazed. They watched Kyle run toward Leon. He was screaming and waving the bat in circles. He looked wild and angry.
“My Batman underwear!!! MY Batman underwear!!!!” Kyle screamed.
Leon looked up from his stick and the tree. At that moment Frank noticed that Leon was actually wearing big goggles. They were huge on Leon’s face.
They looked like a scientist’s goggles – the clear plastic kind.
Frank and Kathleen watched Kyle tackle Leon. Leon tumbled to the ground. Kyle got on top of Leon. They wrestled a little bit. Kyle growled like an angry dog. Then he stood up and pulled the Batman underwear from Leon’s squirming legs. But all Frank could think about was how lucky he was that Leon was somehow wearing goggles on this day. He thought it was because of carrying his lucky Hot Wheel. And all he was hoping for was that Leon’s nasty little brother wouldn’t take the goggles away from Leon too.
Leon stood up, brushed the dirt off of his jeans and immediately went back to mining the tree for bugs. The giant goggles were still on his face. Frank slid his hand into his pocket and stroked his lucky Hot Wheel.

Chapter 11
Kathleen’s Experiment

The next step in Kathleen’s big experiment was to get Frank up into the tree quietly without Leon the insect miner noticing. Frank and Kathleen tiptoed their way to the kumquat tree.
Frank whispered, “How am I gonna climb the tree and hold the bucket?”
“I already thought of that. There’s a pole right here with a hook on it. I got it from Grandpa’s tool shed. I don’t know what it’s for, but it will work. I’ll reach the bucket up to you with the pole,” Kathleen said.
Frank was impressed that Kathleen was so prepared. He thought that she must’ve gotten up really early. He also thought that Kathleen really, really wanted to torture Leon.
Frank carefully climbed the tree, branch by branch. He reached high enough to be out view. No one standing on the ground would see him. Leon would have had to look up to see him.
Kathleen attached the bucket’s handle to the hook at the end of the pole. She stretched her arms out and gently moved it toward Frank’s waiting hands. He got it.
“Okay. I’m gonna call Bugboy over now. You ready?” Kathleen asked.
Frank nodded.
“Leon!!!” Kathleen called out.
No response. Leon just kept pushing the stick into the bark.
“LEONNNNN!” Kathleen called out louder.
Leon looked up and turned around. “Hey!” he said.
“You gotta come over here. There’s a really weird bug on the fence,” Kathleen said.
“Bug?????” Leon said. His eyes almost popped out and banged against his goggle lenses. “Here… I… come!!!!”
Leon dropped his stick and sprinted to the fence. “Where? Where??”
“Right up there,” Kathleen said. She pointed to the top of the kumquat tree.
This was the moment when Frank was supposed to pour the potion all over Leon’s face. It was like slow motion. Frank watched Leon’s head turn up toward him. He could see Leon’s eyes wide open behind the goggles. He could feel his sister’s glaring face hinting to him to dump the bucket, and dump it now…
...Frank couldn’t do it. He stopped. He leaned forward just a little bit. Then one of his sneakers lost its grip against a branch. It slipped. Frank lost hold of the bucket. It tumbled out of his hands. The potion rushed out, into the air, over the branches and against Leon’s waiting face. SPLASH! Frank stumbled and crashed against branches. But he never hit the ground. Somehow he ended up clutching onto the fence. He looked like Spiderman on a wall.
“Cool!” Leon said. “That was amazing! You’re like an acrobat or something!”
Kathleen looked at Frank and said, “Get down!”
Frank jumped down and looked at his feet and legs and arms, checking to see that he was still in one piece. Then he noticed Leon’s goggles were beaded and wet with the potion. The goggles had protected Leon’s eyes.
“Hey, why were you watering your tree with vinegar water?” Leon asked. “I can taste it. It’s delicious.”
Kathleen looked at Frank. Then she looked at Leon. She shook her head and mumbled, “Boys…” Then she walked away.
“Where’s that bug? Leon asked.
“Ummm…I guess it flew away,” Frank said, watching Kathleen walk away.
“It had wings? So cool!” Leon said, licking his lips.
Frank wasn’t sure Leon licked his lips because he was still tasting the vinegar water or because he was imagining a snack with wings. But thinking about Leon eating a bug with wings made Frank’s belly feel sick. And thinking about the way he ruined Kathleen’s experiment made it worse. He immediately felt the sensation of almost throwing up in his mouth.

Chapter 12
Stuck with Leon

The next day Kathleen went to play at a friend’s house. Frank was a little sad and a little lonely.
He started making mud pies in the backyard, but it just wasn’t the same. Next, he raced some of his Hot Wheels on the driveway. That was boring too. He walked up to his grandparents’ house. But his grandpa was sitting on his chair snoring away.
Frank decided to ride his bike around the driveway. (It was new and he was just learning without training wheels.) He practiced turning. He practiced trying to pop a “wheelie”. (It never worked for him!) He practiced skidding on the cement driveway. Kathleen taught him to hit the brakes really fast and hard. This made the back tire skid along the ground. It left really long, really cool looking black skid marks on the ground. Frank loved this. But Kathleen wasn’t there to see his new skids. Frank got lonely again.
“Hey! Watcha doin?”
Frank looked over to the kumquat tree. Leon was standing on the other side of the fence. He was wearing those big goggles again. But he wasn’t wearing any kind of underwear on the outside that Frank could see. His clothes looked ordinary. He had a white t-shirt on and blue sweatpants – the kind that are tight around the ankles. But his feet were a different story. He was wearing rubber flip-flops. They were blue too. One of them had a big rubber flower on the top. It was a white daisy with a yellow middle. Frank thought maybe they belonged to one of his sisters. But he didn’t ask.
“Hey! Watcha doin?” Leon asked again.
“Oh, nothin’,” said Frank.
“It doesn’t look like nothing. It looks really cool,” Leon said. He lifted his goggles off his eyes and onto his head. Somehow he looked older and more serious to Frank. (At least from the legs up!)
“What looks cool?” Frank asked.
“Those skid marks. They’re super long!”
“Really?” Frank said. He felt proud. Then he wished Kathleen was there to see them.
Leon put his goggles back on and started scanning his eyes and face all along the fence.
“Whatcha doin?” Frank copied the way Leon asked him a few moments earlier.
“I’m looking for that bug your sister told me about. The one with the wings,” Leon said.
Frank thought Leon might be hungry. And he thought about asking him exactly that question, but he didn’t. He thought it might be rude. So he just asked, “Why?”
“Why? Because it’s always fascinating to find an insect with wings. Insect flight is not that common. Insect flight can be very extremely fast, maneuverable and versatile. Some insects can even fly backward, hover and perform other amazing feats of flight. Wings are an adaptation that – ”
“Ummmm…Leon, it’s okay. I get it,” Frank interrupted.
“Hey! You hear that?” Leon said, looking toward Lemon Avenue.
“Sorta,” Frank said.
In the distance the boys could hear something. It sounded like a recorded song coming from a big speaker. And it was. It was a song they both knew from commercials on T.V. It was the song: “I Wish I Were an Oscar Mayer Weiner”.
“Hot dogs!!” Leon screamed.
They both started running down their driveways to Lemon Avenue. Frank was racing. He looked over to Leon. He saw him, but Leon was behind a little bit. Frank thought to himself that it must be hard running in those silly flip flops, but that Leon must be pretty fast to keep up.
They reached the end of their driveways. The blaring song was nearer. It was coming down Lemon Avenue from a car with a giant hot dog and bun on top. It was the Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile. The Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile came through neighborhoods and kids could get hot dogs. It was like an ice cream truck. The only difference was that the hot dogs were free.
The big hot dog car stropped right at the edge of Leon’s and Frank’s driveways. The lady in the brown and orange Oscar Mayer uniform leaned out and asked Leon if he wanted ketchup or mustard.
He was jumping up and down like a bouncy ball. “Both, please!” Leon said. Leon took his hot dog and said, “Thank you, ma’am.”
“Just ketchup, please,” Frank said to the hot dog lady. “Thank you may-hem,” Frank said, trying to copy the way Leon said thank you.
They sat down on the curb and started eating their hot dogs.
“Perfectly perfect,” Leon said with his mouth full.
“Hmhmmm,” Frank agreed with his mouth full.
Frank realized that this was the first time he had been with Leon without the tall fence separating them. He felt okay. He actually liked Leon. He thought that he could tell Kathleen about how un-strange Leon could be.
Frank looked down and noticed something on that big white daisy on Leon’s flip-flop. It was a blue ink drawing of a bug with wings. It looked like a flying ant. It was really detailed. Frank could see patterns on the wings. Frank didn’t ask Leon about it. He thought he might start talking like an encyclopedia again.
“Hey! Hot dogs remind me of my friend – Jimmy Choo,” Leon said.
“Who’s that?” Frank asked.
“He’s my friend who lives on Naomi Avenue,” Leon said.
“Nay-me what?” Frank asked. He didn’t quite understand Leon in between his big mouthfuls of hot dog.
“Nay-Oh-Me. Naomi Avenue. It’s a couple of blocks away,” Leon said.
“Why hot dogs?” Frank asked.
“Because Jimmy Choo does what his last name says. He chews and eats raw hot dogs,” Leon said. “Jimmy Chooooo!”
“That’s okay. I sometimes do too. My sister told me the Oscar Mayer Company cooks all the hot dogs in the hot dog factory. When our moms cook them, they’re really just warming them up,” Frank explained, proudly.
“It’s not that. It’s that he takes the tip of the hot dog, pulls it back and…SNAP…breaks it open. Then he goes into his nose and digs out a big green one. Then he puts it inside the hot dog and closes up the tip. Then… he eats it! And… CHEWS it. Jimmy Choooooo,” Leon said.
Frank swallowed a mouthful of hot dog down his throat like it was a water balloon. He put his hand over his mouth. He didn’t say to Leon that it was the grossest thing he had ever heard, but he thought it.
“Leon, I gotta go,” Frank said.
“Okay, see ya’ Fred,” Leon said.
Frank didn’t stay long enough to correct Leon about his name. He started running back to his house. He hurried to open and close the gate…flew past the kumquat tree…past his grandparents’ house and into his backdoor. He tossed the rest of his hot dog into the trash and headed for the bathroom.

Chapter 13
August

The next morning Frank woke up and immediately hoped that his sister was awake. He got out of bed and did his normal morning stuff: brush teeth and get dressed. But before he got his Rice Krispies he headed to Kathleen’s bedroom. He was hoping that Kathleen had forgotten about the bucket of potion disaster. He gently knocked on her door.
“K??” Frank said. (Sometimes he called her “K” for short.)
“What?” she said.
“Wanna ride?” he asked.
“Not Big Wheels!” she said.
“Okay, bikes then!”
“Alright, I’ll meet you at the garage.”
Twenty minutes later Kathleen met Frank at the garage. They hopped on their bikes and raced around the driveway. Circles and figure eights. Skidding their bikes’ back tires against the black top. And playing a game called “Chicken”. This is where each rider pedals toward each other. The first one to steer out of the way is the “chicken”. (Frank always lost!)
They took a break and stopped riding. Kathleen turned her bike upside down and started rotating one of her bike pedals. This made the back wheel spin around and around, quickly.
“Ice cream!” Frank called out! “Ice creammm!!”
From the other yard they both heard a voice crying out, “Insects are yummierrrr!”
They both looked at each other and giggled. Frank knew that Kathleen wasn’t angry anymore about the disaster. They never spoke about it again.
“Hey, guess what!” Kathleen said.
“What?” Frank asked.
“It’s August!”
“Really?!” Frank looked over to Lemon Avenue. “Yesss!” he said.
“Let’s convince mom to train us,” Kathleen said.
Frank thought about the word “train” and knew it meant the “choo-choo train” kind and “something you do with dogs” kind. Then he realized Kathleen really meant “teach”. But he didn’t want to correct her. He was just happy she wasn’t mad about the disaster anymore.

Chapter 14
Lemon Avenue

Later that day Kathleen and Frank were eating lunch. Their mom had made one of their favorite meals - grilled cheese sandwiches. The sandwiches came with two bowls of Lipton chicken noodle soup (with extra noodles, Frank always asked for more noodles!) and potato chips.
“Mom?” Kathleen said.
“Yes, honey?” Mrs. Murphy said.
“It’s August!”
“I know. It’s August 1st,” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Do you remember?” Kathleen asked.
“Remember what?”
“Remember that Frankie can’t wait to learn to cross the street by himself!” she said.
Mrs. Murphy giggled. “Oh, yes. That’s right. You mean you don’t care about crossing the street on your own?” Mrs. Murphy asked.
Frank interrupted, “She does. She told me today that we should ask you to train us! But she really meant teach.”
Kathleen frowned at Frank.
“Okay then…after lunch we’ll walk out and practice,” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Woohoo!” Frank said.

Mrs. Murphy and Kathleen walked the long driveway to Lemon Avenue. Frank was already there, jumping up and down.
“Kathleen! Frank! The first rule is this: you must hold hands, always,” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Got it,” they both said.
“Second, you have to stand at the edge of the curb and look both ways.”
“Got it!”
“Third, you have to look both ways again!” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Gotcha!” said Kathleen.
“Got it!” said Frank.
“And you shouldn’t run!” said Mrs. Murphy.
Frank’s couldn’t believe his ears. He had been practicing running. He expected to zoom across the street – like a superhero. No cars could ever hit him. He was too fast. Now his mom was telling him: “no running!”
“Never?” asked Frank.
“Never!” said his mom.
“Why?”
“Because you might trip and fall. You’re under much better control when you’re walking,” she explained.
“Oh,” he said. Frank’s shoulders wilted. “But what if a big truck is speeding down the – ”
“It’s not a game, Frankie,” said Mrs. Murphy. “And if there was a truck speeding, then you didn’t look both ways in the first place!”
“Okay. I understand,” he said.
“Alright, let’s practice!” said Kathleen.
They practiced walking across the street. Frank felt like a big kid. His mom even let him try it once by himself. Oh how he wanted to run as fast as he could across Lemon Avenue.

Chapter 15
Kindergarten and Changes

Frank started his first year in kindergarten. Eventually, crossing the street became something as regular as brushing teeth, getting dressed and eating Rice Krispies every morning. But Frank’s first year in school brought all kinds of new adventures and changes. And his first year brought a really big change – Frank and Kathleen found out something that would affect them everyday.
“Kathleen and Frank, your dad and I have to talk to you about something,” Mrs. Murphy said.
Kathleen thought about the potion experiment with Leon and was pretty sure a punishment was coming. Frank didn’t just think it, he blurted it out.
“It’s my fault the branches are broken and we didn’t really really try to hurt him and no bugs got hurt and – ”
“What are you talking about, silly?” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Um. Nothing. He’s just rambling on…tell us!” Kathleen saved Frank.
“The house we live in – we’ve just outgrown it. We need more room. And your dad and I have decided to move – ”
“You’re leaving us here! All alone!” Frank blurted out. “You and dad aren’t that tall. Your heads don’t even reach the ceilings!”
“No, honey. Please let us finish,” Mrs. Murphy said. “We have decided to move.”
“…And let you come too!” Mr. Murphy added, laughing.
“Yes. And let both of you come with us. But we want to know what you both think,” Mrs. Murphy said.
“What about Grandma and Grandpa? And Hilde and Heidi?” asked Frank.
“Well, Grandmom and Grandpa found a new place too. It’s close. Hilde and Heidi are so much trouble with that fence and running away. Your Uncle Jack agreed to take them. He has horses and they’ll love being there,” Mr. Murphy said.
The next thing Frank thought about was how he had just learned to conquer crossing Lemon Avenue. Now he was moving to a new house where he’d have to learn how to cross a whole new street.
“You said grandma and grandpa are going to be close. Does that mean we are moving somewhere close to here?” Kathleen asked.
“Yes! It’s just a few neighborhoods away on a street called Naomi Avenue,” Mrs. Murphy said.
“Nay – Oh – ME Avenue?” Frank asked. His eyes opened wide and his eyebrows were almost touching the sky.
“Yes!” Mrs. Murphy said.
Before Mrs. Murphy said the words Naomi Avenue all Frank was thinking about was:
• No more kumquat tree.
• No more grandparents living in front of them.
• No more Hilde and Heidi.
• And no more Leon!
But after those words – Naomi Avenue – all he could think about was a kid named Jimmy Choo. He thought about the Oscar Mayer Weiner mobile coming around. And he thought about how he was going to have witness this kid chew, chew, chewing raw hot dogs - with you-know-what inside!

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 08.12.2010

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