4 years ago...

I walked out of school, with my school picture with in hand. Going to carlos. God i loved that boy so much. 3 years of back and fourth torture and look at us. I run up to him and hug him. He stiffens and i know immidietly whats wrong.

"Whats up" i tell him

"we needa talk" it was my turn to stiffen. We just got back together yesturday.

"break up?" i say quickly.

"what?" he says. shit.

"nothing, go on" i say. Hopeful for a sec.

"we needa break up" i knew it.

"k. but this is the last time im doing this back and forth shit carlos." i say.

"ok" is his answer. i shook the tears ive cried to many times for this boy.

He is not the carlos i first met. He's changed.

"friends?" he breaks me out of my thoughts.

"oh how many times ive heard that one but yeah sure friends" i snapped.

"okay." he turns away

"carlos" i call out

"yea?" he says. Hes quiet.

"why?" i said quietly. i can feel the stares.

"is it because of her" i say. My best friends. Hes been trying to go for her for a while but i thought he gave up...

"im sorry" he says softly.

"my best friend. That low? My best friend. k." i say and walk off. I hear him call out but i walk straight to alley. My boo. Shes not my best friend. But she hell is a sister to me. I told her me and carlos broke up.

"You okay?" she says

"yea" i say. Everybodys stares arnt helping. Theyve known about me and carlos. We were the couple every one knew about. We were a very dramtic and emotional roller coaster. And everyone has seen or heard of it. And they loved it.. They loved drama and i hated thats what they looked at mine and carloss relationship as, but i couldnt blame em.

"dont lie to me." she says

"i am. im used to it" i snap.

"kay" she says quietly

"im sorry" i wait for the bus.

i feel alleys and jackies arms wrap around me. i dont know who to be mad at carlos or my best friend, lizzette. but its not her fault she doesnt even like him, she has a boyfriend that shes completely in love with, ad i had mine. HAD. The bus gets here, and alley gets on with me, she sits next to me, but i stare out the window. I felt my self slipping. Yet i couldnt cry. I couldnt.  Ive cried so many damn times. My dignity isnt fully taken away. He's cheated on me. Hit me. Ruined me. And i honestly have no idea how to feel right now, all the shit ive sacrificed for carlos. I feel stupid and dumb. As fuckiing usual. I felt the tear come down. And i knew i was done for. One tear delilah no more.. no more. The bus came to a stop and i walk home. I feel numb. I love the feeling of numb. I need a blunt. I get on the phone and call jacky and alley. They answer and i sob i cry like nothing before.

"im done. im so sick of his shit." i say crying

" i know lilah, i know" they both say.

"Last time, im so done guys. im tired, im drained emotionally nd physically hes destroyed me. and im sick of it." i say

"tell us everything, about him, everything. from the whole relation ship from the beggining to the end" they say

well shit. okay.

How it began

 I was 13 when i first met him. I didnt speak to him, i was young. I was talking to Julissa and she introduced me to him. A curly haired boy, with huge hazel eyes. He had a gap in between his tooth and a wide smile, a crooked one. He was a few inches taller than me. My head fell right in his chest. He was my first real boyfriend. When i met him my 7th grade year we did nothing. We were just friends. He was sweet and funny and i know he liked me. But i payed no attention to it cuz i didnt see him like that, i loved the attention he gave me. He was sweet, funny, everything i could imagine, but i wanted to be friends. We dated twice that year but nothing happened. We saw each other at the park. And like that nothing. He knew everything about me, and i him. Bu he was nothing just a boy. He seemed perfect. He had his flaws. Exithma. he had asthma too, but as did i. People called him grandpa hands cuz his hands were rough, but i loved that aout him, his exithma never bothered me, but people were assholes. That year was the carlos i knew the carlos, that i could see as my best friend. The carlos that did anything for me, never disrespected me. But he changed. It all changed. My feelings. My everything. i changed. just in 1 year....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Short chapter sorry, but not much happened that year. sorry boring but true

new year new me. (1 year later)

 I honestly hate my hair color, as for that, my red hair came in. It matched my personality. Red doesnt look good on most girls, but surprisingly, i fell in love with it. Others surprised, but no one ever complained instead they called me crazy, and in return a big goofy smile. I was hanging with ,my ex xavier, but now honestly just a friend. Carlos has been changing. Ive noticed it and others have too. But i ddnt mind. He was still good old carlos to me. I walked in school and talked with carlos.

"Hey whatsup" i ask him walking side to side

"nothing" he says, putting his elboy on my shoulder

"i havent seen you loser" i smile at him

"oh yeah huh" he says. i roll my eyes.

"roll your eyes again and watch" he says

"watch what" i say innocently
"do it and you'll see" he says smirking

I back up and roll my eyes than make a run for it i hear the whistles of the teachers telling me to stop but i kept at it, and i can hear his foot steps an before i can react. 'THUNK'.

"oww, dick" i say, im on the floor with a very heavy carlos on top smiling

"shut up" he says, helping me up and pulling me into that very big bear hug of his.

"ahh, carlos breath" i say dramatically. and he lets go.

"goof" i say sticking my tongue out like a child.

"You are not 14" he says "so immature" he says

"Am not"i scoff than laugh

The bell rings and we wave our good byes.

"hey amora" i say to my short friend

"helloooo, so im having a sleep over" she tells me "and your going" ishe says

"sure i guees ill have to ask' i say

"okay" she says

I begin to walk away, and hug my boyfriend fabian, and behind me is carlos hugging his girl yaylin. And i feel a tug at my heart, i shake away.

I let go and head to class, i start to think of the sleep over and remember. Carlos lives with amore.

Shit.

Sleep overr

 I walk out the car, grabbing my bags and money.

"Amora" i call out. And bam a dog barks through the gates scaring the shit outta me, i shreek, and carlos grabs the dog by the neck and pulls it back.

"what the fuck?" i said

Damian comes out trying to force me to get insidr or else he'll let go of lala. im guessing thats the dogs name. I flip him off and run inside. I hear laughs outside and i roll my eyes at it.

"Amora?" i say

"in here" a voice says. I follow it

I am in her room, she smiles and tells me were going to the movies to watch Dark skies. The boys were supposed come

 

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 10.12.2014

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