Hello my dear reader,

You do not know who I am, so allow me to introduce myself. My name is Johanna. I live in Germany in a very ugly industrial city. But I don’t care. I don’t like nature very much anyway – I prefer to be inside. There I have my fridge, my flyers for pizza, China- or Thai- food, my bed and my computer. My beloved computer. That machine is running most of the time – I hardly ever turn it off, and why should I? Most people would call me geek. But that’s not quite true, I am still learning. I earn my money by making webpages for local doctors, butchers, gardeners or bakers. The rest of my free time I use to surf the net, chat online or program things.
I don’t have friends in real life and I don’t want any anyway. I don’t like going to the pub or - God beware - a disco! Seldom I go shopping, I don’t need new clothes as long as the old ones still fit and food I usually order in. I do not even have a stove in the kitchen. The only thing I sometimes miss is social contact, after all - I am a biological being. But then again I don’t like the fuss, the forced polite social behaviour and the ridiculous communication that is necessary to interact with humans. And also I wouldn’t know where to meet them since I don’t like going out. With my lack of friends, I'd probably be there alone anyway. But since the cold season has come I feel the need for social contact stronger then in summer. So last week I programmed one special trojan and a virus to go with it. I managed to infect various computers, and now I have access to hundreds of webcams.

I can almost freely choose whom I want to watch and the person will not even notice. My trojan allows me to access and activate the webcam and the virus prevents the webcam’s signal light to turn on, so that the person to whom the webcam belongs won't see it is on. The only problem is, that I can not access one cam and switch to another and then come back to the previous. I still need to make my program better, I am not a perfect geek yet.

The first person I observed was an elderly man from Anchorage, oh well, to hell with political correctness- he was an old man. Between sixty and seventy. He was sitting in front of his computer wearing nothing but a dirty boxer brief and a washed out t-shirt. He was really dirty, not just the clothes but also his hair was fatty and his skin looked pale and tumid. I think he was watching porn- at least the bulge in his pants made me think that. And I was right. After a while he started to touch himself. Gosh – what a disgusting first spy experience for me. But I didn’t give up- I hacked into the next cam.

I chose one from Ulm, Germany – a house in the Wasserstraße. No one was home it seemed. The computer was running without the person being at home. I could see the persons white cat on the grey sofa licking its fur clean. Then it hit its claws deep into the cushions and scratched the fabric. Having ruined the sofa enough the cat lightly jumped on the floor and walked over to the French window and sat down on the terracotta floor tiles. It was raining in Ulm, I could see it through the webcam through the window. The rain came down pouring and the large window was full of drops. Occasionally I could see lightning though the window. I watched the bad weather together with the cat for a while -then switched to another region.

My third invasion took place in North Carolina. I activated the cam of a laptop that stood in an office it seemed. A man was sitting at another computer and he had his back to the laptop. He spoke bustlingly into a headset while he typed things on the keyboard. After a short while he moved his chair to the right and I could get a glimpse at the other screen. I had obviously hacked into a 911 call centre! The man had short mouse blond hair and was big like a bear. He wore a blue baseball cap and a green t-shirt- and to my surprise little fairy wings. Well – different countries different cultures…. I continued to watch the 911 operator for a while. I was curious about the type of call he just then handled, but the other monitor was too far away- so I couldn’t read what he typed there, but then all off a sudden he turned back and looked at the laptop cam. I had the impression he directly looked at me- I jumped with shock- did he see me? As fast as possible I left the laptop and moved on.

With some adrenaline in my blood now from this unexpected thrill, I got bolder and hacked into the webcam of a laptop standing in a small kitchen of a Neapolitan house in Italy. There was a man, who walked up and down in the kitchen gesticulating like a semaphore. He had dark, almost shoulder long hair and a six day beard. His chest was hairy too, I could see it, since he didn’t wear a shirt, his white cotton trousers were full of wrinkles. The woman, who had long curly hair and wonderful thick red lips, stood at the cooker and busily stirred around in a pot with – with unknown content.
She was yelling at the man, funny for me to see, they were both talking or yelling at the same time, I wish I could have heard them, but sound was not available. So I continued to watch them while they both got more and more agitated. It seemed I just came to spy on them in the right moment, because all off a sudden the woman turned around, waved the wooden spoon in midair and directly yelled at the man before she started to hit him with the spoon- oh that would get interesting I thought then. Without taking my eyes off my screen I felt around for some salty chips and sweet dates, while I fumbled to open the chips bag, the man grabbed the arm of the woman hard and spun her around so that she had to bend over the kitchen table. She hit the table so hard that some forks and knives fell off the table and slid over the floor. The men was now standing directly behind the woman, and from his movements I could only presume he was pulling down his trousers. Then I saw him pull up the woman's white skirt. He grabbed the woman at the hips and at first I thought he would rape her, but when I looked at the woman's face I saw her smile broadly. So obviously she had started the whole fight for one purpose only: rough sex. I continued to watch them until they both lay on the kitchen floor panting and laughing. And I had just hit the button to switch to the next webcam when I saw the woman grab one of the knives....

My fifth invasion was into a room in Delhi. An Indian man sat on the white blanket of his wooden bed. He was wearing glasses, a white trouser and an old style Hawaii shirt. He had short black hair and a little double chin. He was on the telephone with someone, but from the reflection in his glasses I could see that he was also watching TV. I watched him for, maybe three minutes. But he simply was on the telephone so I switched to a house in Toronto.

At first I couldn’t see the picture of my new hacked cam very well. The room was dark, but then the cam adapted and I could see the features of a large white bed. White blanket, white cushions, white bed sheets. Also white carpet, only the walls of the room were gray. Then a door at the other side of the wall opened and light flooded the room, a man appeared in the door, obviously coming from the bathroom. He only had a white towel wrapped around the waist. He switched on the lights in the bedroom and walked over to a dresser. He opened the uppermost drawer and took out white boxer briefs and a white shirt. From the second drawer he chose a black jeans and a blue sweatshirt with the white leaves of Toronto’ Maple Leaves ice hockey team emblem on it. He put away his towel and got dressed. Then he bend over and grabbed something heavy that was laying on the floor behind the bed. It was a large object wrapped in white bed sheets, almost like a carped rolled up. I saw how he used all his strength and then he pulled the wrapped object and dragged it out of the room, away from the webcam picture. I wondered what that might have been, when I noticed that the white carped was now stained with a long red line marking the path of the enwrapped thing….

With a chill in my spine I switched off my private little TV show. After those thrilling but not really socially nice spy-attacks I really needed to find a more efficient way to distribute my trojan and virus. Fortunately I have figured out a very good way to do that. Everyone who bought, downloaded or read this story on their computer and who has looked at the picture of the pumpkin is already infected with my computer virus. You don’t believe me? Well there is an easy way for you to find out:
Simply mark the sentence below and copy it – it’s the first line of my computer virus code. Paste the line in your windows notepad editor and save the file as:
test.txt
I guarantee that you can’t do that without your antivirus program to jump and get active! And if your anti virus program reacts: Then my dear friend – then I am already watching you!

X5O!P%@AP[4PZX54(P^)7CC)7}$EICAR-STANDARD-ANTIVIRUS-TEST-FILE!$H+H*


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911 call centre Notfall Anruf Zentrum
access Zugang
agitated erregt
Anchorage Goße Stadt in Alaska USA
available verfügbar
behavior Verhalten (AmericanE.)
behaviour Verhalten (BrittishE.)
beware bewahren
bold mutig
bought Verg.Form von to buy: kaufen
boxer brief Unterhose, Boxer Short
bulge Beule, Ausdellung
bustling betriebsam, geschäftig
busy geschäftig, emsig
chest Brust
chill Kälteschauer
cushion Kissen
dates Datteln
digusting ekelhaft
distribute verteilen
elderly älterer
fairy Fee
Fairy wings Feenflügel
file Datei
Flyer Flugblatt
force Zwang
Fortunatelly Glücklicherweise
fridge Kühlschrank
fumble fummeln, herumtasten, herumfingern
fur Fell
fuss Aufhebens
make a fuss about s.th. viel Aufhebens machen um…
headset Kopfhörer mit Mikrofon
introduce vorstellen
invasion Invasion, Einbruch, Einfall
Occasionally Manchmal
oder in bestellen
panting verschnaufen
paste einfügen
political correctness Politische Korrektheit, wichtig gerade
in den USA, wo Diskriminierung sehr
ernst genommen wird
semaphore Singalwinker (z.B: auf Flugzeugträgern)
slid Verg.Form to slide: rutschen
social sozial
spine Rückgrat
switch umschalten
tile Fliese
to grab greifen
to hack into sich unerlaubt Zugriff auf einen
Computer verschaffen, auch im
Deutschen: einhacken, hacken.
to handle handhaben, bearbeiten
to rape Vergewaltigen
to spy on s.th. etwas ausspionieren
to stir umrühren
to yell anschreien
tumid aufgedunsen
various verschiedene
waist Hüfte
washed out ausgewaschenes
webcam an Computern befindliche Videokamera
wing Flügel
winkle Falte
wrapp einwickeln

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 28.10.2011

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