THE CIRCLE IN THE DOT

Once upon a time there was a point named Dot. Dot had no idea his name was Dot. In fact Dot had no idea about anything. Dot existed but he wasn’t aware of it. He wasn’t capable of knowing, feeling or sensing.
Being a point is much like being asleep, the difference is that Dot never woke up and he didn’t dream either. So the life of a point is rather uneventful. Dot’s world, had he been aware of it, had no height no width and no depth. That doesn’t leave much room for a great deal of variety. What would there be to do in a one-dimensional world, anyway?

Transition 0

Despite this dreary outlook however, one day Dot woke up.
Dot still had no idea but a sensation was nagging at him. The nagging persisted. It went on confounding his newfound awareness until he finally realized what it was. The nagging sensation was his thoughts, his unique expression of awareness.
Sufficiently satisfied with this discovery the nagging gave over to curiosity.
Dot considered the situation.
I am here. I seem to exist. I can sense my surroundings. I know where I end and my surroundings begin. I see that there is a great deal more than me in this … this place.
But why?
Why am I here? Why do I sense my surroundings and know where I end and it begins? Why do I understand all that? How do I know there is a great deal more than me in this place? What is to be done? What should I do? While we’re at it what is doing?
Dot lost himself in thought.
He thought about the little he knew and made certain deductions based on that information. For instance, Dot wondered what was ‘over there’. By looking around himself he surmised that ‘over there’ probably looked a lot like ‘over here’. Still, he had to allow that he could not be certain. Dot concluded that the chances of ‘over there’ looking like ‘over here’ grew the closer ‘over there’ was to begin with. So if ‘over there’ was far, far away, it was possible that it would not resemble ‘over here’ at all.
It wasn’t long before Dot decided to go explore his surroundings. His only concern was that he might not be able to find his way back to this spot if he left it. This spot was important to him and he was reluctant to move without assuring that he could find it again upon his return. He changed his mind and decided to stay because he could not come up with a way to mark it.
Then he contemplated the fact that the same things could be said of the ‘inside’ as well. His thoughts could easily change and bring to light novel thoughts he could not now even begin to imagine. His feelings and emotions could also add substance to his inner world in new, marvelous and unanticipated ways. The further away those thoughts were from now the better the chances were that those thoughts would be unlike anything he could anticipate at the present time.
Dot concluded that both staying and going promised new adventures. He could go and experience the outside world or he could stay and learn what his inside world had to offer.
Dot vacillated between staying and going. His curiosity urged him to leave but his sense of belonging and his feelings of comfort and security were intimately linked to this spot. He could not risk misplacing it. If he did he would never be able to return. He would be doomed to go on roaming the world forever.
Dot continued to think. The possibility of something novel being far ‘over there’ piqued his curiosity and made Dot want to begin exploring at once. The prospect of moving, however, scared Dot and froze him to the spot. Dot was not afraid for his life though; he had no concept of death. He simply didn’t want to lose his way home.
The swaying factor was that his senses seemed more substantial, more real, than did his feelings and thoughts. Dot surmised that the fact that he found his senses more valid pointed to the proper course of action. He seemed to be predisposed to explore the outside world because of the preponderance of senses he had been bestowed with. They made him more adept at exploring outwardly.
He reasoned further that even if he could not mark this spot he could eventually make that his goal – to find his way home again. And he knew that if he searched long enough he would inevitably find it. Since he could not be certain of what he might learn ‘out there’ he could not rule out the possibility that he might even find a short-cut home.
His fear of leaving mollified, Dot decided to go and explore.
While Dot had mused, his surroundings had begun to change. The change went unnoticed by the point but a more experienced observer would have recognized the gradual brightening and warming that was going on as daybreak.
Dot was suddenly made aware of the significant alteration to his world by a glint of light from some unseen source. The light flickered and swayed in great swaths of yellows and gold. ‘There’s something over there,’ thought Dot. ‘And it’s not like over here at all!’
He made as if to move but stopped. ‘How can I mark this spot?’ he queried himself again.
That’s when he noticed what else had changed. His surroundings had been dark and undifferentiated. Now, because of the light, he could see that there were many different things all about him. He had no idea what they were but most looked like large and irregular protrusions. He could see that the protrusions shared a similar grainy appearance, as if they had all been made of the same material.
Dot quickly saw the possibility of using some of those protrusions to mark his sacred spot. He placed a bunch of the protrusions, which were very hard and heavy, on top of his birthplace. Soon he had piled up quite a significant mound above the spot and it could easily be picked out from the lesser protrusions scattered about. Finally he was satisfied that he could find the mark again with no problem.
Dot moved away from the only home he had ever known with more than just a little trepidation. He sneaked several backward glances to make sure that the marker was detectable from a distance. Soon it became virtually indistinguishable from the other protrusions strewn all about and was almost lost from view.
When next Dot looked back the marker was not visible anymore.
He experienced a moment of pure panic. He turned and began to rush back. He needed to find that marker! He had to see it one more time just to be certain that he could find it upon his later return. As Dot hurried back he suddenly realized that he really had no idea where that marker was any more.
Then Dot’s panic turned to terror. ‘What if I can’t find my way back?’ he thought, ‘What if I become lost and have to spend eternity searching for home?’ By putting his fears into words Dot only managed to fuel his terror. He began rushing about wildly, this way and that. Pretty soon he was totally confused and had no idea which way home lay.
After searching around for awhile longer with no luck Dot stopped in despair. He realized that he was hopelessly lost.
“You!” thundered a voice that seemed to come from all around him.
“So, you have finally decided to go for a stroll, huh?” came the booming voice.
“Who said that?” asked Dot, looking around him in obvious perplexity.
“I have many names; Odin, Drox, the dark lord, the evil one, the beast, the serpent, Satan and Lucifer is just a random sampling. These days I like to go by the old colloquial name: Zeus.” came the thundering reply. Perhaps he somehow recognized that the tiny fellow wasn’t sure what to call him, given so many choices. In any case, he added, “ I am Zeus.”
A moment of silence intervened, then the disembodied voice asked: “Who are you?”
“I am Dot.” He stopped trying to locate the source of the voice. “Where are you?”
“What? Oh. You really don’t know do you?” boomed the voice, the last part in a chuckle.
“The immovable mountain has no knowledge of the world,” the voice went on, “Ha!” it spat out such a cacophony of sound in that last syllable that it nearly deafened the defenseless point.
A form suddenly materialized in front of Dot. At first Dot thought it was only one of the other protrusions that were scattered about everywhere but then the form came into sharper focus. It was far more symmetrical than the other protrusions. At the same time it seemed to be a lot more complex shape as well.
“How’s that?” came a pleasant enough baritone, “Easier to see me now?” the voice continued not too loudly.
Dot noticed that a small portion near the top of the form changed shape as it spoke. Two long and narrower but otherwise identical protrusions, that were attached to the main form a little below and to either side of the form’s speaking hole, waved and motioned in synchrony with the uttered words. Dot saw that the entire smaller protrusion atop the main form, that housed the speaking hole, also seemed to bob and nod in time with the words.
“Yes, thanks, I can see you now.” Dot continued to stare at the other in amazement. He was enthralled by the novelty of Zeus’ design. The being was unlike anything he had ever imagined.
“What are you?” asked Dot in blunt curiosity.
“My, my, we must develop our manners, mustn’t we?” and Zeus tisk, tisked.
After a moment Zeus responded with, “I am a god.”
“A god? … What’s that?”
“A god can do virtually anything it wants anytime, anywhere.”
Dot let that sink in a minute.
“What can’t you do?”
“Ha!” exclaimed the god, “Not as naïve as you let on, I see.”
“I just figured it would be the best place to start. From what you said I inferred that there was only a few things on that list,” explained Dot.
“You figured correctly.” Zeus looked him over. “Before I answer that tell me who you are and what you have been doing here all these many years. While you’re at it explain to me why you have remained motionless for eons?”
“I don’t understand.” The word years and eons confused Dot. He understood the concept of time in general, now that he was aware of it, but such long periods of time were not part of his personal experience.
“I only just recently … became aware. I thought for a little while then decided to go in search of new experiences and to increase my understanding of the world. I had only just begun my journey when I realized I could no longer retrace my path back to where I started. That’s when you showed up.”
“Isn’t that a shame, poor boy lost his way home,” teased the god. Meanwhile, an ancient memory flickered involuntarily through his mind. Across the haze of time uncountable he was transported back to his own beginning. Zeus remembered when he first realized he had lost his way and how desperate he had been. He even saw, for the first time, how that experience had shaped his entire existence. He suddenly felt a deep pang of homesickness knowing that he had never relocated the place of his own birth.
“I have watched you for a long time, Dot.
“I have engaged you in conversation and you ignored me. I have tried shocking you into wakefulness many times without success. Over the ages I have escalated my attempts to rouse you from your sleep. I have slapped you and punched you, to no avail. I have thrown rocks and boulders at you but you didn’t so much as flinch. Then I progressed through asteroids, planets and stars. Each time you remained impervious and oblivious. Each time I would come back to check on you and there you would be, unscathed – exactly as I had left you. I grew frustrated and tossed a black hole at you that swallowed you whole. I thought for sure that would be the end of you, but no. The black hole continued its life cycle and slowly, over eons, it evaporated and dissolved away. And there you were as before, unhurt. You are indestructible and I want to know why!” the words spewed out of Zeus’ mouth before he was aware of it. He attributed the outburst to the disruptive thoughts of his early childhood experiences.
Dot was dumbfounded. He was speechless. He had no idea what to make of this revelation.
He had existed for … for, forever? He could not be destroyed? Dot shuddered at the possibility that that weren’t so.
‘I could suddenly cease to be?’ he thought, ‘Then I’d be gone forever? But suddenly becoming aware is similar to that. It implies that there was a time before I was aware about which I can have no direct knowledge. And maybe during that time I did exist. I would have no memory of it, however, because I was not yet aware.’
Confused, Dot decided to ignore the god’s outburst and to pursue another topic of interest instead.
“Have you traveled far? Can you recommend some interesting experiences?” he asked.
“I am a god!” said Zeus in disdain, “I have traveled from one corner of the universe to the other. I have investigated every nook and cranny in the cosmos. Nothing escapes my notice,” he finished in a huff, turning his head slightly away and raising his chin haughtily.
“…for long, anyway.” He added this last under his breath.
“What would you recommend as a must see experience, then?”
“I don’t know. There are so many wondrous things out there.” Zeus brought one hand up to support his chin and scratched the side of his face with a finger.
A more experienced observer would have recognized the shifting eyes and furtive glances as a sure sign of craftiness. Zeus was weighing his options very carefully before he spoke and they didn’t necessarily coincide with Dot’s personal safety.
“There’s the folded space of the protoverse. That’s always fun. Especially once you get the knack of being physically divided into several different pieces.”
Zeus took a few steps to limber up and to give himself some time to think.
This creature is central to the master’s plans, he thought. Therefore I must find a way to destroy it. It’s not that the master’s design is bad, it’s just that it is a unilateral decision with no input from the rest of us immortals, he justified. He quickly devised a suitable course of action.
“Yes. Well. If one has already been to the center of the universe, which is quite spectacular, the only thing that beats it is the moment of creation itself, I suppose,” stated Zeus emphatically, “And before you ask, we are right now at the center of the universe. Like the view?” he smirked.
“I will go to this moment of creation and see it for myself.”
And with that said, Dot disappeared.
Of course to Dot it looked as though Zeus disappeared and along with him everything else that looked familiar had vanished also. The scene that replaced it was fascinating but it was at first difficult to discern any significant details. The tremendous pressure was immediately recognizable, as was the extreme heat. It was so uncomfortable that Dot had to step out of the experience, which he did.
In so doing Dot stepped right out of the universe.
The first thing Dot noticed was that this new place was extensively vast. He wasn’t sure why he knew that so positively. It seemed to be imprinted in every spot. Each speck of this place seemed to be connected to every other speck. Dot felt it was somehow a familiar experience. How that could be he had no idea.
Then he saw her.
She was the most exquisite creature Dot could have imagined. She had curves that smoothly traversed the length and breadth of her form in a sensuous looping arc that curled backwards around itself. She shone with a pure white light and its intensity was daunting yet somehow comforting as well. Dot decided she was radiant.
“Hello Dot.”
Her voice sounded like liquid silver. For a moment he was lost in the ecstasy of it.
“Hi,” was all he could muster.
“So it begins,” she stated.
“Yes,” Dot heard himself declare. Why he said that he had no idea.
“Good.”
“Camarilla?”
“Yes?”
“That is your name is it not?”
“Yes. Don’t worry Dot. All is well. You are not required to understand, only to know. Remember that.” She moved closer to Dot as she spoke. “Together we shall fulfill the master’s design. We shall create a spectacular experience of unparalleled beauty.”
“I am required only to know, not to understand,” repeated Dot, committing the words to memory.
“I know I have loved you and always will,” stated Dot, “but I don’t understand how that can be. I’ve only just met you…” he trailed off.
“And I shall always love you as well, Dot. And it is that love that will power our creation.”
She was close enough now to touch. His body ached. His senses thrummed. His thoughts whirled. He was aware only of her closeness and his responses to that fact. He could finally not contain himself.
He willed himself to nudge her circular form in a loving equivalent of a caress. He felt her respond favorably, longingly.
In that moment of contact Dot suddenly found himself overwhelmed by a great rush of ‘knowings’. They swamped his awareness and he had to mentally reassert control by pushing the ‘knowings’ out of his immediate awareness. Dot stored the information and decided to contemplate it at a more appropriate time. Now there was only himself and Camarilla. His caresses had continued unabated throughout, however, as if the need to touch her was ingrained on his, … his soul.
He returned his attention to Camarilla. She was coruscating with a pure white light, radiating intense energy. His caresses became more ardent as he explored every inch of her form. The halo of light that surrounded her continued to brighten. She began moving with him, rising up to meet him as he turned round her. They became engrossed in the circular rhythm of their movements.
The gyrations of their forms increased until it seemed to Dot that he might cause her harm. But she reassured him by rubbing against him with renewed vigor. Dot found himself repeatedly moving away and flinging himself at Camarilla and she responded by rushing toward his approach with reckless abandon. Dot lost himself in his mounting need and let the sensual feelings wash over him.
Dot was about to conclude that these erotic feelings themselves seemed to be too much to bear any longer when he had to braced himself for yet another impact.
Just as Dot was about to slam into Camarilla she was suddenly no longer there.
Then an experience that he would never forget ripped through his essence.
It began where the feeling of ecstasy had left off. At that precise point he had a moment of clarity, a plateau of calm where he suddenly knew he was home, safe and secure. In that moment he heard his thoughts wondering where Camarilla had gone. Then a mounting feeling of love rose within him to overflowing. As the floodgates burst and his senses exploded in orgasmic spasms of fervent release he was suddenly made aware of the fact that Camarilla was all around him.
In the aftermath of the erotic encounter, satiated, Dot languished in the waves of intense impulses that washed, to and fro, over his senses.
Some time later Dot realized that he was again feeling extremely hot and heavy. Again he stepped out of the experience and right out of the newly created universe. Except this time he felt as though he was still inside the universe. It was just his mind that seemed to have found a way to escape its confines.
Confused but ready to assimilate this new experience Dot focused his attention on the situation. Dot looked down upon the tiny cosmic egg from his extra-universal viewpoint. Its familiarity at first escaped him. For some reason he immediately thought of how he seemed to have entered the essence of Camarilla’s form at the height of their encounter. This thought was followed by the awareness that he didn’t remember ever getting out again. Dot quickly surmised that he must then still be inside of her.
That realization in turn lead Dot to wonder why his mind had found a way out but not the rest of him. He could not come up with a rational solution to this problem. The more he tried thinking of a plausible explanation the more confused he became. His confusion simply continued to mount until it was verging on hysteria.
“Dot?” said a familiar voice. “Why do you torment yourself so?” it continued.
“Camarilla? Where are you?”
“You already know, Dot. Remember?”
“Help me to understand!”
“You need not understand,” chided the silvery voice, “You only need to know.”
“What! What do I need to know?”
“Oh my love! Your innocence melts my heart. You have no true need because you already know all. That’s all you need to know.”
“Help me to remember then, Camarilla. Please,” he pleaded.
“Very well, my love.”
The ensuing moment of silence was interminable.
“You are the circle,” she revealed.
The words ganged up on Dot’s mind and pummeled it into submission. He could not at first grasp the full significance of Camarilla’s revelation intellectually but he immediately felt its impact expanding his awareness. He decided to suspend his rational judgements and just experience the ensuing transformation.
Dot turned his attention back to the cosmic egg just as a ragged crack appeared on the egg’s surface. As Dot watched the crack quickly circumnavigated the egg. From it spewed the most brilliant light Dot could ever have imagined.
The crack was a jagged line and an intense band of pure white light radiated from it. The ring of light shot out of the egg and rushed towards Dot. Just as it was about to pass him the light exploded into a sphere. The sphere shone with unparalleled power for a moment before it subsided, running through the gamut of colors from blue to red and beyond. Then it faded from view.
“I am the circle,” stated Dot.
“I am the Dot,” he continued.
“I am in all,” he finished.
Only then did the cosmic egg finally explode, and shards of it sped off in every direction.
Dot experienced his essence being torn asunder.

Transition Level #1

“Suit yourself,” he heard a voice saying, “I can’t stop you anyways, I suppose.”
Dot focussed his awareness on the familiar tone and his essence began to reassemble.
“But be forewarned,” the voice went on, “The experience is extremely compelling and it might take many eons to reassert conscious control.”
Dot’s essence coalesced and he became aware of his surroundings. He saw Zeus standing in front of him.
“Having yourself ripped into infinitesimally small pieces is very disconcerting. Even I had a great deal of trouble putting myself back together again,” continued Zeus, oblivious to Dot’s previous absence or his recent reappearance, “It took me a very long time to fully recover myself.”
“I have just witnessed the creation of the universe,” explained Dot.
“What?”
“Did you also experience Camarilla’s attentions?” he asked.
“What are you talking about, boy?”
“Just before the egg exploded.” Dot clarified.
“What egg?” Zeus was beginning to think Dot was himself an egg short of a dozen.
Silence answered. Then:
“What did you experience when you went to see creation?” Dot asked the god.
Zeus snickered and spat dryly to cover his sudden worry. Could Dot have experienced more than he had? And could Dot have already come and gone without him noticing – and done in the blink of an eye what took him several millennia to accomplish?
“What do you think?” Zeus postured.
Dot only waited, unmoving.
“Oh very well,” the god capitulated, “I’ll tell you what happened, since you are so intent to know.
“I was the only thing there was. No matter where I looked there was only blackness. Suddenly I felt a great tightness inside of me. Then I began to expand. I expanded for a long time until the pressure became too much to contain, even for me. That’s when I exploded and my guts were spread far and wide. I spent the next thousand years collecting them and many thousands more putting the pieces back together again.”
“Oh. I see,” was all Dot offered.
“Who is this Camarilla of yours?” probed Zeus.
“A circle of immense beauty.”
“Oh. I see,” returned Zeus, “She’s a babe, huh – a hot number? Does she have nice curves?” he teased.
“Why did I experience an entirely different situation than you did?” Dot asked, ignoring Zeus’ comments. Dot wasn’t surprised when Zeus did not reply.
“The beginning of the universe should not have various renditions. Unless the viewpoint of the subject varies, of course. Then the same creation sequence could be experienced in unique ways.”
“Honestly Dot, what are you going on about?” bluffed the god, unconvincingly. It was obvious he was as bewildered as Dot was.
“Which means that you and I do not share the same frame of reference.”
“Well, what did you expect?” chuckled Zeus, “I am a god after all. And you are, no offense, just an insignificant one-dimensional point,” he shrugged his shoulders, “ nothing personal, Dot. I’m only trying to be realistic.”
“And failing,” Dot pointed out, “since what you say does not reflect my experience at all.” Dot was silent for a time, reliving his memory of the creation of the universe.
“I felt tremendous heat and pressure. I was inside the cosmic egg as it was about to … no,” Dot’s voice sounded as if he were far away, “I was the egg. It was, … , I was very dense and very hot. I was everything there would ever be – together, united.
“But it was too much for me to assimilate so quickly. I grew … wary, apprehensive … fearful.”
Meanwhile Zeus was gaping, slack-jawed, at Dot, hanging on his every word. He found his rendition of the events fascinating. They somehow rang loudly with truth, so Zeus did not question them at that level. Instead he was focusing on interpreting Dot’s perceptions based on what he figured was the point’s personal background.
Dot was primarily naïve and ignorant of the world. On the other hand, he was demonstrably intelligent and a very quick study. He was also extremely old, maybe older than Zeus himself. Those attributes, coupled with Dot’s unique but seemingly formidable talents in the areas of locomotion and the manipulation of his surroundings caused Zeus to question the point’s origin. ‘Who is this thing here in front of me?’ he thought, and not for the first time. Zeus found it both a riveting and compelling riddle. He felt there was something of great value to understand in the enigma that called itself Dot.
“Go on Dot,” Zeus gently prodded.
“So I stepped out of the egg and into a … magnificent oneness! There was only me but the place was bigger than big – and smaller than small – both at the same time.
“That’s when I saw her.”
“Camarilla?” the god nudged him along.
“Yes. My first experience of her was as a circle of pure white light. She had a voice that soothed and comforted me with its softness. Her words were the truth revealed – truth of the highest order.
“We were made for each other, she claimed. I could not resist her. And I felt that she was equally drawn to me.” Dot rapidly ran through the ensuing encounter in his mind’s eye. “We … umm … we coupled.”
“No! You did her!” Zeus was amazed. The repercussions were staggering…
“Well … yes, I guess so, if I take your meaning correctly. Although I would prefer to use a more honorable, more respectful phrase.” Dot would have been all shades of red were he capable of such a display. Then he smiled inwardly, “In any case, yup, I did her – and I did her real good!” Dot almost relived his earlier orgasm just declaring that truth.
“Unbelievable!” muttered Zeus, shaking his head.
“In the moment of … err … at the height of the encounter I felt as though she was all around me.” Dot tried to make sense of what happened next.
“After it was all over I was still somewhat perplexed by the novel experience. It was so unlike anything I could have imagined. I was unprepared to understand what had just happened. When I questioned her about that she said all I needed to understand is that I already know it all. I asked her to help me remember what I already knew and she did.” Dot stopped.
“Well? What did she say?”
“She said…”
“Yes?” asked Zeus impatiently.
“She said that I am the circle!” Dot giggled for no apparent reason, “Imagine, me, the circle!” Dot didn’t laugh again but became silent and still.
Zeus was struck dumb. The dot is the circle. The circle is the dot. Circle – Dot. It made no sense.
Zeus ranged his wide knowledge base for an equivalent but to no avail. Then he dredged up the concept of the koan. It also activates the same logical avenues of infinity, he saw. But where the koan reduces to a paradox this understanding actually allows the consciousness of the observer to transcend its reality – sort of like a quantum leap of awareness. The circle and Dot, indeed!
Still, continued the god, this understanding can have a great impact in many diverse areas. It indicates that there is a transcendental quality to knowledge – and by extension to reality as well. Could it be that reality is not what it seems, even for me? Zeus had known many mortal beings and all their realities were obviously wrong, as he himself was evidence of.
“But if I am the dot, how can I be the circle as well?” asked Dot, absently.
“Exactly,” included the god.
“Camarilla was a circle. How does that figure into it?”
“Levels of awareness, I suppose.”
“Yes. She inferred as much,” agreed Dot, “But why did she stress that I needn’t understand, that I only had to know, and that I already know it all?”
“That would seem to make a mockery of awareness, especially of sentience.”
“Exactly. But it implies something far more bizarre. It suggests that the circle and the dot exist in everything, simultaneously.”
“Sort of like the center of a black hole,” observed Zeus.
“What?”
“Sorry, I forgot you have limited experience of the world.” And Zeus smiled inwardly. Got him, he thought.
“I remember that you admitted trying to destroy me and that your last tactic was to employ a black hole which swallowed me whole,” recounted Dot.
“Umm, yes, well, there’s that … sorry,” flustered Zeus.
“I will visit that place, on my own terms this time,” stated Dot.
So saying, Dot disappeared.
Except to Dot it looked as though Zeus and everything else around him had vanished.
“Hello Dot,” said her voice.
“Camarilla?” he managed to blurt out. He was momentarily overcome by elation as a whirlwind of happy emotions swept him away.
“Oh Dot, behold what we have wrought!” the emotions in her inflection seemed to be equally turbulent.
Dot beheld her circular form and its halo of pure white light. She was indeed radiant.
“Our master is very pleased.”
“Camarilla,” Dot heard himself saying, “I love you.”
“And I you,” she crooned, moving closer.
“I still don’t understand. I am…”
“You have no need of understanding, my love.”
“I know. But…”
“Your knowing is great, vast beyond accounting. That is where understanding falters. It has limits imposed upon its scope.” She gently caressed him as she spoke. He responded by nuzzling closer, soothed by her tone as much as by her words and touches.
“Take a look around you, Dot. Behold the wonder of this place.”
Dot reached out to his environment, unfurling his senses. At first Dot thought he might be in the cosmic egg again. He refined his conclusion somewhat as his senses continued to report back to him with more details.
Surrounding him was an envelope or a membrane of some sort. It fitted to his form impeccably but it was not him. It only marked where he ended and this environment began. It was as if he stood outside this construct, but from beyond the inside looking back in.
From Dot’s position it looked as though a halo of black surrounded this place and marked its boundaries. The closer he looked the further the halo seemed to withdraw. Dot followed it and it continued to recede. Try as he might his senses could not resolve the illusive black horizon.
Yet by simply re-orienting his senses Dot could easily see beyond that horizon to a halo of pure white light that surrounded it. That ring of light reminded Dot of Camarilla. As a matter of fact, it seemed to be Camarilla because it was from there that her voice next spoke.
“Do you see?” she asked, her voice washing over him from all around.
He saw that he was again inside of her. Yet…
“I see you above and about me,” he told her, “but I feel there is more to it.”
“Use that feeling to substantiate your knowing and to transcend your thoughts of self.”
“But how can this be?”
“Not why or how but what and who. And that you already know,” prodded Camarilla.
“Yes,” agreed Dot, knowing but not understanding, “It still leaves me confused.”
“That it does. But we are not confused. In fact we are certain,” she shone with increased energy, “We are one…” she lead, “And you are…”
“I am the circle.”
“Yes. As I am the dot,” she finished.
“We are one,” he agreed.
Then Dot vanished from the scene and he found himself back again with Zeus.
“Black holes are notoriously unpredictable beasts but you have already survived an encounter with one so it should make you immune to most of the worst effects,” lied Zeus.
“Don’t worry, nothing happened.”
“What? No!” Zeus tried to catch up, “You already went?”
“There and back again,” Dot summarized.
Zeus was genuinely surprised. He’d been sure Dot would be safely out of the picture for billions of years with that ploy. Now Dot remained a threat still on the loose. Zeus’ motto basically reduced to ‘A threat is anything I can’t kill outright or otherwise safely dispose of.’
“I don’t understand how you can do that. I can’t…” Zeus was cut off in mid-sentence.
It seemed to Dot that Zeus had suddenly become absolutely immobile. It was as if that which animated the form called Zeus had simply departed without any prior warning. The god’s eyes were unseeing and his mouth was agape like he was about to continue talking where he had left off. For a moment Dot wondered if he had looked this way to Zeus all those years he had remained still, silent and unaware.
“Zeus?” Dot asked after him, knowing there wouldn’t be an answer.
“Yes?” came an unfamiliar voice, “Who? Zeus? No I’m not Zeus. Who are you?”
The figure that presented itself resembled Zeus in general terms, thought Dot, noting the head, the body, the two arms and two legs. Yet this one seemed bent and stiff, slow and pondering.
“I am Dot.”
Dot observed the marked awkwardness in the figure’s gait as he approached, and that was allowing for the fact that he was tripping on the hem of a long robe that loosely draped his body from the neck on down. There was a hesitation about him that Dot found odd.
“Dot?” the man almost squeaked, “Dot you say?”
As he got closer Dot saw that the man’s face was lined and creased. Most of his face was hidden by volumes of wispy white hair that cascaded out of some sort of head adornment Dot was unfamiliar with. His beard hid another large portion of his face.
“Yes. Dot,” he helped clarify, “And who are you?”
“Who am I?” The man tripped on the hem of his robe and he almost fell but managed to catch himself at the last instant. “Perhaps if you saw my traditional tools of the trade.” So saying two objects appeared one in each hand. “How’s that. Know who I am now?”
Had Zeus been awake he would have immediately recognized the ancient hourglass and the scythe. He would also have known the figure’s identity. As it was, however, he remained motionless and completely unaware of his surroundings.
Dot had no idea what those implements in the creature’s hands were. His silence was answer enough he decided.
“No?” the figure’s scratchy voice was incredulous, “Hmm,” the figure used the sharp instrument to scratch his ear. “Well, I’m Death, pleased to meet you,” he reached out his arm, forgetting about the other object in his possession which fell and shattered into a million little tinkling shards. “Oops,” he exclaimed, “Don’t worry, I have many replacement hourglasses,” and an intact one appeared in his hand, “See?”
“Your name is Death?”
“Yes,” Death bobbed his head and his hair momentarily looked like a big puffy cloud, “Others call me Father Time. Some have asked how I can be both Father Time and Death at the same time. I just tell them that when your time is up, you’re dead. They usually accept that answer and don’t pursue the topic any further. I have many more names: Cronos and Thanatos are just two others. But I am primarily Death, - or Saturn if you like to add in the idea of tribulation before death” he concluded.
“Did you do this to Zeus?”
“I didn’t do anything to him. I just suspended time in this region of space, that’s all. Hey!” Death extended his instrument of office with a noticeable improvement to his usual bumbling self, “Why aren’t you frozen as well?”
“I don’t know…,” Dot said while a thought flittered by in his mind wondering how he could not know if he was supposed to know it all.
“There have been some very unusual fluctuations in the time line around here. They reminded me of when Zeus was investigating the corridors of time a long while ago. Except this new disturbance is far more subtle and distinctly purposeful.” Death waved the scythe in front of Dot, emphasizing his words, “Are you the one responsible for those time events?”
“I think I may be,” admitted Dot.
“What manner of creature are you?” the grizzled old man peered at Dot with piercing black eyes, “I can barely even see you yet your presence is palpable. How is this possible? Explain yourself,” demanded Death, suddenly appearing convincingly menacing.
“I have no idea, really. I’m told I was standing over there somewhere,” Dot waved all around, unsure where over there actually was any more, “I am told that I have stood there for a very, very long time, but I have no recollection of any of that.” Dot explained exactly what he had done since becoming aware, sparing Death only the barest details.
Death stood there, staring at Dot’s almost imperceptible form, and listening intently to Dot’s story. He interjected only a few comments throughout. As he listened he tried to recall a memory that was suddenly bothering him. It was a memory of something old and forgotten, yet Death was now being made to know that he had employed its existence indirectly many times in the interim. Then the memory surfaced.
Back at the very beginning, when the cosmos was still new and Death was only just learning his future responsibilities, he had chanced upon a portion of space that was different from all others. At its heart was a speck, a point. That place stood unmoving while the rest of the universe sped around it. Neither time nor space seemed to have any influence on it, and it had no influence on them either. That point, that dot had remained motionless ever since – and during the coming ages Death had learned to rely upon it as an absolute frame of reference for his intricate time calculations.
As Dot finished his recounting, Death was made aware of a simple fact that had until that moment remained beyond his grasp. The absolute frame of reference is now in motion. Not only that but it was aware and lucid. He was taken aback as he realized that he was actually conversing with the center of the universe! This was a rare and very special occasion, he knew. One that required the proper questions posed. He quickly composed them in his mind.
“You have just come back from inspecting the very heart of this cosmos, perusing its greatest secrets. You have seen the absolutes divided and juxtaposed one against the other. You have witnessed the cosmic egg when all were still one. There you experienced the paradox of the present – the great now. You have observed the inside of a black hole, where infinity and zero are forced back into co-existence in a singularity of impossible design. What have you concluded?” finished Death, “What is it like to come face to face with your own true identity?”

Transition #2

“I have no idea…” was all Dot could think to say. His mind was spinning. His understandings were overwhelmed and he felt himself expanding, quickening. He prepared himself as best he could for the tsunami of change he knew was about to envelop him. His mind went temporarily blank as he suddenly loomed above his old understandings. Then new knowings leapt into his mind.
I stand juxtapositioned between reality and the veil that has been pulled over the heads of everyone else in the universe. That membrane I experienced at the center of the black hole was the illusion, the lie made bare because there was nowhere left for it to hide. The truth swallowed the lie and I was made aware of its subtle and insidious nature – its slipperiness. It is a tantalizing and wholly convincing construction.
“I feel as though I stand outside the universe looking in.”
“I’m not surprised, really,” stated Death, “Time has no hold on you, not to mention the timeline. You have no concept of the context of past or future since you exist beyond its influence.”
“Past and future? Of course I know what they are.”
“As concepts, but not as the contextual field of experience, of awareness.” Death went to scratch his neck and came close to decapitating himself. Disgusted, he willed the scythe and hourglass to disappear. Then he made a great display of scratching under his beard.
“What?”
“You know. Experience is ultimately a history or sequence of events pertaining to a particular subject and that transpires in a serial fashion. Each subject’s history is a linear chain of moments from birth to death. And everything tangible, many of which are very difficult to perceive, has a history. Your own story, the one you just told me, is your personal history. The difference is that while every other object follows the time line in lock step with each other a certain few are exempt. You, me, usually Zeus over there and to one extent or another a handful of others, are immune to the effects of time. But only you can recreate experience. Only you come and go, slipping in and out of reality, as if it were no big deal.”
“Yes. That has the ring of truth about it. I will now go explore these corridors of time to verify what you have said.” So saying, Dot disappeared.
But to Dot it seemed as if Death and everything else disappeared, not him.
Dot found himself in unfamiliar surroundings. Avenues of possibilities lay all around him. Each avenue radiated out from his vantage point, intertwining with all the other possibilities. The further he reached with his senses the larger the knot of possibilities became. Then, by simply re-orienting his awareness he saw beyond the skein of timelines to a horizon of pure white light.
Just as Dot was about to recognize the ring of light as Camarilla another dimension of this strange place suddenly caught his attention. Each line, each avenue of possibility, was the history of a particular object within the universe. Some of the lines pulsed with light. As he observed this he realized that every line had a unique color. Then he realized that, although each line represented a long line of sequential moments, he could view them as a single entity and experience the entire line at once.
Dot became fascinated by this revelation the more he explored the lifelines and it held his attention rapt. Dot reviewed timeline after timeline. He saw the birth of stars and their deaths. He saw the evolution of life and experienced every individual lifetime as well, one after the other. Every object, every speck of matter and energy was represented here. Everything had its own unique color and its history.
The skein began to unravel as he watched the many lines. By the time he finished the last one the knots loosened then fell away. The lines, it turned out were only segments of one continuous line. And the skein was the convoluted representation of the entire cosmos’ timeline, which included every other timeline within it.
Refocusing, Dot now saw that all the lines of the skein originated where he was. And by looking outward with renewed understanding, Dot saw that Camarilla stood at the far end, where all the timelines reconverged again.
“Camarilla, my love.”
“Oh Dot! Have you yet grasped the marvel of what we have wrought in the master’s name?”
“I am beginning to, yes.”
“Then are you soon to assume your responsibilities?”
“Responsibilities?” queried Dot, perturbed. Every time he met Camarilla she sent him up the river of intellectual chaos without a paddle.
“Of course. Your destiny awaits you, Dot,”
Her liquid silver voice still held the power to completely enthrall him, he noticed. As did her perfectly circular and absolutely radiant form. He reached for her and caressed her gently, longingly. For a moment she demurred and returned his affections. Then she pushed away.
“There are consequences to your actions that you must become aware of. Therein lies your responsibilities”
“Yes, that was made patently obvious to me while reviewing the many timelines within this great construct. Everything impinges on everything else. Nothing exists in a vacuum. I suppose that applies to me as well. I just don’t get how, yet. I don’t understand what I should do.”
“You need neither to understand nor to do. You simply need to know that you are. There is no other need, remember?”
“All I want is to be with you, forever – nothing else. I don’t care if I never understand or do anything. I just want you always by my side. You are my need.” Dot answered what his heart told him to say. He wondered, not without some apprehension, how Camarilla would respond.
“Oh, my love! That motivation is your best guide. That is exactly what I desire as well – and it is our fate.”
“Then tell me how to proceed, keeping in mind my highest desire which is to be with you always and starting as soon as possible.”
“Stop causing yourself such unnecessary suffering, Dot. Open your heart as well as your senses. See what is there and all around. Feel what fuels the substance of this reality. Above all, be. Be what you know. The rest will follow, it has no choice. So it has been written.”
Camarilla shone with increased brilliance as she spoke. Her pure white light bathed and soothed Dot’s mind. He reached for her again but she remained beyond the range of his advances. She seemed to be taunting him, using herself as the bait.
“Why do you toy with me?” he asked.
“Dot! My love! I would never!” she rushed to him, fervently. They moved into the equivalent of a tight embrace. Dot tumbled around her form and Camarilla ardently rose up to meet him, turning in sync with him.
“I only want you to perform your required task so you can hurry back to me. You cannot do that without us first being separated. That is why I say that the sooner you go the sooner we can be together again and forever.”
They held tight to one another for a long while and Dot was hoping that somehow it would never end. But all too soon they released each other and Camarilla began receding along the great universal timeline, seeking its other end.
“Wait!” called Dot, to no avail.
“I am the circle!” he yelled at Camarilla’s rapidly receding form.
“As I am the dot,” came her faint reply.
“We are one,” he whispered to himself, missing her already.
“I would advise against that Dot. The intricacies of the skein of life can easily confuse the uninitiated. You might become lost forever in its twists and turns. There are eddies of time there that loop back upon themselves, where a person can get caught in a finite timeline of infinite duration.”
“Yes. Like the snake swallowing its own head…” Dot recalled from the information he had gained while viewing the individual timelines.
“A very good analogy. One that I would not have expected from you.” Death took a step toward Dot … and fell headlong to the ground because his foot had caught on the hem of his robe again.
“Oh for heaven’s sake,” muttered Dot. He willed the old man’s robe to shorten and it did.
Death slowly gathered himself together and stood up. He straightened his robe and rubbed a sore spot on his elbow caused by the fall. He felt some change in his garment and looked down to see that it was shorter by several inches. At first he thought maybe the robe was hitched up by the fall and he tugged at it, trying to pull it back down to where it was supposed to be. Then he looked to Dot questioningly.
“Did you…”
“Yes. I shortened your robe. Now you will not trip over it anymore.”
“How?” Death shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, deciding not to pursue the topic. He recollected his thoughts then asked, “Did you somehow already go and explore the skein of life?”
“Yes. I have been and returned.”
“I thought I had just now felt the same disturbance that brought me here to investigate in the first place. But I only felt it after you returned. Incredible…”
“I have observed the many individual strands of the universal timeline and followed them to their conclusion. I have experienced the sum total of all things that were, are and will be. I have learned many things.”
“What?!” Death, with his intimate knowledge of time, could not accept such a statement as truth. Dot had to be mistaken. “That’s patently impossible! If what you say is true then it should have taken you an infinity of time to relive every individual timeline.”
“Nevertheless,” verified Dot.
“Did you review your own timeline? Do you know the circumstances of your own death?”
“Oddly, my timeline is not represented there. There was absolutely no mention of me. Nor of Camarilla”
“Camarilla?” asked Death.
Just then a booming thunderclap shook the ground. They looked up in time to see a figure hurtling towards them atop of a thunderbolt. The figure was dressed in old style battle dress. His helmet and boots both had small working wings that were now spread wide. The strange warrior leapt off the bolt of lightening just before it slammed into the ground between Death and Dot. The ground split apart and shards of flying rock hurtled past the pair but not one single piece struck either of them. The wings on the figure’s helmet and boots flapped madly as the warrior slowly came to rest a few steps away from the other two.
Before either could speak, the figure threw his giant war hammer at a large boulder some distance away. The boulder exploded into dust. Then the war hammer returned in a graceful arc. The warrior caught it easily.
“Release Zeus this instant or face the consequences,” demanded the fearsome supernatural soldier.
“Nice display. Really attention grabbing,” stated Death calmly, “Dot, let me introduce you to –”
“Thor. The god of thunder – and of war.”
“Release me at once. I mean release Zeus.”
“Not long on brains though,” added Death.
“Obey! Or face me in battle!”
“Alright, already,” and Death made a small motion but Zeus remained frozen. Death made a silly face then focused harder upon his task. He made several passes with his hands and muttered something under his breath. Still Zeus did not move.
“Hmm. Seems I can’t reset this region’s timeline.” Death reached up to his headgear and swiveled a small arm that held a display in front of his right eye. He pulled up the sleeve of his robe to reveal a device with rows of tiny buttons on it strapped to his left forearm. He tapped at the buttons.
“Now, Death. Quit stalling,” threatened Thor.
“Hold your horses. Odd,” Death muttered to himself, peering intently into his display piece, “There has been a strange convergence of energy channels and timelines in this area. Hold on,” Death tapped the keyboard on his wrist some more, “Oh, now I see the problem.”
“What?” asked Dot.
“The nexus is shifting because the center of the universe is suddenly in flux.”
“You had better not be trying to trick me,” stated Thor, “Beware! I will attack first and ask questions later.”
“Shut up, fool! This is serious,” gestured Death, his scythe suddenly appearing in his hand for added effect.
“What is this nexus?” asked Dot.
“The nexus is the source of reality. It undergirds the finite realm.”
“The realm of manifest phenomena,” put in Dot, indicating he understood.
“Yes. It serves as energy conduits for the many forms that populate reality. They rely in turn on the absolute position of the center of the universe. Since that center, which is you, is in motion, so too are they. And while they are in motion reality cannot be manifest.”
“Yes. If the reference point is in transit the required precision of reality is compromised,” agreed Dot, “I will visit the nexus to see if there is anything I can do,” so saying he disappeared.
Except for Dot it looked as though Thor and all that surrounded the war god was what had disappeared.
Dot found himself in unfamiliar surroundings again. Slowly, as Dot sent his senses out to explore, the scene around him began to coalesce in his awareness. Except there was at first nothing to see. Instead, a powerful emotion began to stir in his heart and a warm feeling of peace and serenity washed over him, calming him. This place seemed to exude a sense of bliss and some larger truth of an intrinsic emotion. Dot immediately knew that this emotion was a basic pillar of reality but for the moment he could not give it a name. On the tail end of that realization came thoughts of Camarilla, unbidden. They made Dot recognize the source of the emotion filling this place as love. But it was a love so pure that it seemed to be an infinite homogenous sheet without the usual reservations imposed on it by judgements or expectations. Love suffused this dimension like light suffused the material realm. With that revelation established the scene about him came into sharper relief and details became evident.
He stood at a point of divergence. The divergence radiated lines of force outward in a curving arc. Their trajectories continued to diverge as the lines curved tightly back upon themselves, altering their original course until they were travelling in exactly the opposite direction. At that precise point the lines burst into a frozen wave of multi-hued beams.
For a moment Dot could not discern any further details. Then he became aware that the standing wave of color was caused by the convergence of two fields of force. One emanated from where he stood; the other was coming from a point directly under him and some distance away. The rainbow of light was caused by the clash of impossibilities, where the two fields of divergence converged. To Dot the swatch of color represented the resolution of the impossible.

Transition #3

That’s when Dot felt the familiar tug and turmoil of the onset of yet another transcendence of his understandings. He mentally readied himself for what he could not even imagine.
As Dot’s awareness expanded his view expanded as well. Now he saw that the swath of light at the point where the two fields converged was arbitrary in color and that it was in fact pure white.
Dot’s senses finally encompassed the entire experience and he saw the whole scene from a new perspective. The arbitrary color was the result of the two arbitrary poles acting as the source for each of the fields. The arbitrary nature of the two sources led directly to the infinite possibility of colors. Those colors, in turn, were in fact frozen self-contained portions of reality. The changing color indicated the movement through time of the entire finite realm.
Taken as a whole, the point where the fields converged was a circle of pure white light. Dot marveled at its beauty.
“The master has outdone even himself this time,” he declared.
“Yes, my love. And we have orchestrated its evolution with exacting precision, according to the master’s original design parameters,” Camarilla responded.
“I don’t remember any of that.”
“Of course you do. It just hasn’t happened yet from your perspective.
“We stand at the place of choice and of free will, where the possibilities are endless. This is the union of how and why, where they transmute into what and who. This is where debts come due and must be paid in full, yet where credit is given in abundant measure. Here, in this very place, creation continues, as it always has.
“Behold! The nexus! The balance, the source of reality and of illusion,” finished Camarilla.
Dot stood looking out and in at Camarilla simultaneously. This realization suddenly hit home with him. In that moment he knew his time was almost upon him and that there remained very little left for him to do.
“You are the most radiant being I have ever encountered, my love. But your secret is out. You are not who you lead me to believe you were. In fact, you are not here. There is only me. For I am the circle and the dot.”
“Oh Dot! How I have longed for you to say those words!” said a tiny point of light far below him. He was now the circle and he saw how all things could be seen from here. All his adventures had happened in this place, even though they had all seemed to be different settings to him then.
“Oh the marvel of it! The sheer exquisite simplicity! It is beyond words. Look at all we have done!” he exclaimed.
Then he was again the point called Dot and Camarilla, the circle, shone in unparalleled brilliance overhead.
“Hurry!” was all she said as she disappeared.
Dot decided once more that she was indeed radiant.
Dot looked up and again found himself in the company of Death, Thor and the frozen Zeus.
“Do you think that would be wise,” asked Death, “Your presence at the nexus could very well disturb the subtle balance of reality even more.”
“Been there and back,” indicated Dot.
“What? Oh, no,” Death replied, quickly tapping away at his keyboard, “It is as I feared. Your presence at the nexus has caused a severe instability in the fabric of reality. More and more timelines and lines of force are converging on our present position. The more that appear here the more that reality becomes undone at other locations. The finite realm is being destroyed.” Death continued to tap at the keys, engrossed in the facts being fed to him by the tiny view screen hovering a few inches from his eye.
“Release the god Zeus! I demand it,” piped in the god of thunder, gesturing menacingly with his war hammer.
Unwilling to be interrupted continuously by Thor’s posturing, Dot rearranged the timelines surrounding them to include the timeline of this place. Then he indicated to Death to try releasing Zeus again.
Zeus stumbled out of his stupor and shook his head.
“You!” he glared at Death, “I’ll deal with you momentarily,” he turned to the god of thunder, “Leave! Now,” he told him.
“But, are you alright? Don’t you want me to stay and help?”
“Be gone!” and Thor bowed, hopped on a lightening bolt that had just appeared, rode it up into the sky and was gone with a clap of thunder.
Zeus rounded on the old timer; intent on venting his considerable wrath at having been treated unfairly and then badly insulted as well.
The chirping of a bird interrupted Zeus’. All three looked in the direction of the sound and saw a green fog swirling into existence. From it flew a little yellow canary. It flittered this way and that but never strayed far from the cloud. Then a fluffy white rabbit hopped out of the green mist. In the next few moments all manner of life appeared about the thickening haze. Soon a menagerie hopped, flew, crouched and crawled around the perimeter of the strange green fog. The noise was considerable as each species let out their calls in unison. Then they grew quiet and from the fog stepped the most exquisite creature possible to imagine.
Dot saw she had humanoid features. Her hair was the color of the setting sun, all ruddy reds. Her shapely figure was, in a word, voluptuous. Her skin was a light olive green. She wore not a stitch of clothing. Instead, vines crept round and about her body, covering her appropriately at all times. She moved with a grace that defied description and Dot noticed that where she stepped living things grew out of the ground.
“Mother,” greeted Dot.
“Hello dear. Hi Zeus,” returned Mother Nature, “Death,” she added, with distaste.
“I am Dot.”
“So you are the cause of all this ruckus,” she gave him a smile that virtually melted Dot’s heart, “I suppose Death showed up in response to the very first signs of trouble, as he often does. He is very diligent in such matters and he does take his job seriously, I’ll give him that.”
“Thanks,” Death hung his head, visibly ashamed of his job when standing in front of Life incarnate.
“As for you, Zeus? You have always had an amazing fascination with this creature,” she gestured at Dot, “I guess you showed up to see if there was some advantage to be gained here for yourself.”
“You’re being rather judgmental, don’t you think? After all, you are here too,” Zeus pointed out.
“True. Well, Dot? What’s to be done?” she asked of him.
“Odd, as soon as I became aware, that was one of the first things I thought to ask as well,” shared Dot, “That is the final consideration. It is the only thing of relevance, really. What is to be done, indeed.”
In a dramatic gesture of finality, Death swept up the little view-screen arm of his headgear and pulled down the sleeve of his robe to cover the keyboard. Everyone turned to look questioningly at him. His form seemed more bent and brittle than ever.
“The timelines are coming apart. There is nothing that can stop it now. The lifelines and force conduits are converging here, or as close as matters. When enough of them are realigned the entire fabric of reality will unravel like a bad rug.” When no one looked shocked enough, Death raised his arms high, shook his fists at them and shrieked, “We are all doomed!” Then he collapsed like a bellows with a hole in it. He remained standing but his head nearly disappeared between his shoulders. Only the headset was still visible on top of his head and a pair of bushy eyebrows that occasionally rustled his wispy white hair.
“Now you show your true colors,” spoke up Mother Nature. Her voice was high and melodious, and could be mistaken for singing. “You immediately think that someone pulled the plug in the giant universal drain and we’re all going to be flushed.” Her laugh sounded like an arpeggio in C# minor. “But I know this time. I feel it in my bones and in my loins. Ha! The night is young, I say. And there’s love in the air…” she sang, looking directly at Dot. “Yes?” she asked in song.
“There’s yet another verse or two. Love deserves at least one more chance, don’t you think? ” replied Dot.
Death’s head popped up like a child’s toy, “I’m telling you, the universal skein is unraveling and reality is being destroyed in its wake. This,” he pointed to the ground, “is the last place that will exist before it all disappears,” he tucked his head in between his shoulders again before he finished with, “Last verse? No. Last line. The curtain is about to fall!”
“Look!” cried Zeus, pointing skyward. They all looked up, including the animals. Even Death poked his head out to see. The animals quickly decided to head for cover. They scurried to the relative safety of the green fog and disappeared into it.
The sky was flashing in patches and swathes of every color imaginable. Great splashes of color repeatedly painted the sky and formed irregular patterns overhead.
The energy being released overhead must be tremendous, thought Dot. Yet here we stand unharmed. Not even a breeze to hint of the chaotic fury being unleashed just above us. It seems we are safe for the moment but, overall, things don’t look too good for us, I’m afraid.
Dot stole a glance at each of his companions one by one. For some reason he knew this would be his last opportunity to do so. Zeus, whom he looked at as an older brother, of sorts, managed to hide most of the signs of his terror. There was no mistaking the sudden furtive glances this way and that, though, trying to find a place to hide, no doubt. He was probably thinking of a means to avert the disaster about to befall him – to somehow slip out of the trap. It was all there to read in his little unconscious movements and gestures, saw Dot.
Mother Nature, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying the show. She ooed and ahhed at the display and clapped with delight at the more violent explosions that were becoming ever more prominent. She danced and twirled, finding her own rhythm to the spectacle.
And even Death seemed to have mustered up the courage to keep his head out from between his shoulders. But he stared into the distance with a grim and silent demeanor. What could he be thinking right now, wondered Dot. How ironic for Death to have to face death. He had inadvertently studied the subject more than any other creature, having attended so many others at the time of their demise. Had he expected to somehow escape the death experience himself?
Dot concluded that while Zeus had steeled himself to his fate and Death had resigned himself to his, the earth mother was eagerly awaiting hers and seemed to embrace it. Odd he thought
As the sky above continued its fiery display the plants at their feet began to shrivel and die. First the smallest succumbed. As they watched even the hardiest ones expired. Through it all Mother Nature didn’t deign to notice. The only possible sign that she might be a little worried was that her dancing became more frenetic and its tempo was increasing.
Her time came in a final leaping triple pirouette. In the middle of it she let out a little yelp and her body burst into tiny sparks that finished the last spin for her before flickering out. The dying embers and smoke then vanished with no sign of their passing.
Suddenly Death stood up straight and tall, his eyes wide, “It’s my time now,” he blurted and swallowed hard, “Goodbye all, I have done what I had to do with no regrets,” he looked to Mother Nature but she was no more.
“You have served well and honorably, die in peace,” Zeus said in his most formal voice, surprising himself. Then he was pacified by the realization that Death had served his needs many times throughout the ages.
Death looked at him, smiled and tears streamed from his eyes, “Thank you. Thank you very much,” he wiped his eyes and looked to Dot, “Be good,” he smiled again. His tools of office appeared one in each hand.
“Oh! This isn’t so bad,” were his last words. Then he collapsed and his body vaporized before it hit the ground. There was nothing left of Death, not even dust.
“This is it then,” said Zeus, incredulously. Evil didn’t account for much when all was said and done he had to admit. Now he would have to pay for his audacity and cruelty with his own destruction. He would cease to exist. Pity, it could have been so much different if I had known then what I know now, thought Zeus.
The explosions overhead were so numerous that they just became a brilliant smear of light energy. The light pulsed as if it was alive and its brightness continued to intensify. The colors were slowly blending together until they became off-white in hue. Then they turned a convincing white. But it did not stop until the entire sky glowed fiercely with a pure white light. And when it was perfectly white it exploded in a burst of searing power that momentarily blinded the two remaining onlookers.
But none of the energy above them found its way to the ground.
When Zeus and Dot regained their vision they saw that a ring of pure white light now circled them while the rest of the sky was completely black.
“My love,” said the circle.
“Yes love,” replied the dot.
“It beautiful!” exclaimed Zeus, “Look at that!”
“Zeus, meet Camarilla,” Dot introduced them.
“Pleased to finally make your acquaintance,” said the circle.
“Hi there,” and to Dot in an aside, “A real looker. Nice going, slugger,” then the present predicament riveted him, “Where are we? Heaven – or hell?”
“Such distinctions make no sense from this perspective,” answered Camarilla, her form twinkling with energy, “There is what is. That’s all.”
“But life is over. The universe is no more. Right? So what’s left must be either…”
“No, wrong,” contradicted Dot, “Life is not over, neither is the universe. I have been and seen everything. I know the skein of life and the universal timeline. I am their embodiment.”
“You?” Zeus looked baffled.
“Yes Zeus, me. You never answered my question,” Dot took a sharp left turn in the conversation, or was that a sharp right.
“What?”
“You know. What can’t you do as a mere god with a small ‘g’? And before you answer, remember where you are and what has transpired.”
“Alright, since you’re leading me I suspect you already know. The one thing I can’t do is create life. I can twist life into new forms. I can call forth life where none existed before. But I cannot make life.”
“So if you could do that you would be God, with a capital ‘G’?”
“Yes, I suppose that’s correct.”
“And would you want to be God, do you desire to create life?”
“You must know, by the way you are talking, that I desire that above all else. I just don’t understand how you could know these things about me.”
“It is very clear to me, my friend. And although your motives are suspect right now they will be tempered in time.”
“What are you going on about now, Dot?” although Zeus thought he somehow already knew.
“It is time for me to do what I have come to do. The universal timeline has reversed polarity and it now requires that the central frame of reference be redefined and fixed. Will you be there for the cosmos, Zeus? Do you want the honor of becoming the center of the universe?”
“Yes!” the god heard himself say without hesitation.
“Good. You have been prepared well. I now declare your apprenticeship successfully completed. Congratulations Zeus.”
Zeus still didn’t understand what was really happening, and he seemed to be rapidly loosing his understandings altogether, but he had an uncanny feeling that all would be well. He clung to that notion as his awareness continued its slide toward oblivion.
“My only task has always been to find my way home. But in order to do so I first had to become lost. That in turn lead me on a road of discovery that ends back here with my final action.” So saying Dot began to move. Zeus just knew to follow.
“For I now know and I have no further need. That realization frees my will and steels my determination. I have been forged in the fires of eternity and tempered in the universal field of experience.” Dot continued moving.
“I am the dot and I am the circle overhead,” he declared and stopped, “My center is as easy for me to find as your navel is for you.”
Zeus stepped up and onto the indicated spot.
“Now you are the dot,” Dot said to Zeus.
With that the god’s awareness slipped away and Zeus became the dot.
“Camarilla!” Dot screamed, suddenly frightened of the change about to overcome him.
“I am ready to receive you, my love,” but even her voice trembled.
His form dissolved and he became pure awareness.
The new dot took his place.
Dot followed the universal timeline to its other end, where Camarilla awaited him. He embraced her and they remained that way to draw strength from each other, both suddenly wary of the new change that stood ready to sweep them away.
“I have been all there is not,” he whispered to her.
“As I have been all there is,” she softly crooned in his ear.
“Now I am all there is,” he moaned, knowing what was to come.
“As I am now all there is not,” she sobbed.
“We are one…,” he dared not say it, but knew he must, “There is only me, here.”
So saying Camarilla’s essence dissolved and there was only Dot, now the circle.
But Camarilla was with him. Her residual awareness was a large part of who Dot now was. And the main thing was that they were together again and this time forever ... until the next midpoint was reached at least. Yet he missed the beauty of Camarilla’s form. He knew he was now that same figure but from this perspective it no longer held his attention in the same manner. He resolved himself to shoulder his burden of grief and move on out of respect for the memory of Camarilla as she had been before they had fused together.
Without any warning Dot found himself immersed in new surroundings. He immediately recognized the feel of the place as one he had experienced before. It was when he first stepped out of the cosmic egg and felt that sense of bigger than big and smaller than small. This was the same place. It was the place of absolutes, the realm of the master.
There was no distinction to be made of any kind in this strange environment. Over here and over there were indistinguishable from each other. Dot realized that he could not even determine where he ended and his surroundings began. He was unwilling to explore this novel domain because he was daunted by the fact that he seemed to have the same dimensions as his surroundings. To explore would mean to travel inside his own flesh and that could pose many a threat to his existence in ways he might not even be able to imagine.
Slowly, Dot became aware of distinctions in the background. The feeling of bigger than big began to resolve into something discernable, so too with the feeling of smaller than small. Shapes began coming into focus. Then the shapes grew fuzzy again. The more Dot tried to determine details about the shapes the more the shapes flickered in and out of focus. His training soon came into play and Dot realized he needed to consider his position as the circle in order to refine his ability to see details in this strange place.
Dot felt his point of reference expanding outward and accelerating rapidly. It continued outward ever faster until Dot was convinced it would never stop. The experience was too much for Dot to bear so he stepped out of it … and he was the circle! He felt as though he had been turned inside out but he was elated nonetheless. Dot was the whole ‘bigger than big’ circle! From this perspective he immediately saw in exacting detail the shapes that a moment before had been displayed without detail.
They were the individual skeins of separate universes. And there were countless numbers of them. Where he had experienced the tangled web of one such skein now he saw the skeins of a multitude of universes woven together into a very much larger tangled web. Dot marveled at his precision because he could focus in on one particular universe or even on a single individual lifeline with no effort. With considerable surprise he noticed that he could focus on any number of different timelines in any combination he wished and he could still experience them all simultaneously.
His first inclination was to go back to the original universe where he had become aware and see what happened after he had left. He could also check on Zeus to see how he was getting along, he decided.
The very next instant Dot found himself looking down at Zeus and experiencing the entire universe spinning around him in complicated patterns. Zeus stood like a rock, he saw. Dot knew that Zeus was putting down roots into this reality in a way he had never imagined possible.
Suddenly, a green fog swirled into existence out of which emanated all manner of fauna and flora. Then Mother Nature appeared in her usual living vine costume. She twirled once and dropped into a deep curtsey.
“It is an honor to welcome you to our land,” she kept her eyes to the ground. Then she looked up and held his gaze, “It is a special treat to have the opportunity to thank the one with you called Dot.”
“He has heard,” came an imperious voice that Dot would take a long time getting used to.
“He might also wish to know that his friend Death has made a complete turn around in his attitude. He now not only takes his work seriously but adds a heaping of compassion for his victims as well. He even asked my advice on how to make the experience less traumatizing. Funny how people can change their opinions about things once they experience them first hand.
“The shift in polarity went well. All is fresh and ready to bloom. There will be many suns to give you children. Let Dot know we will not ever forget him and that we wish him glorious adventures!”
“He thanks you,” and Dot felt strange saying it but he uttered what his heart commanded, “And he sends his blessings and benedictions upon you and this, his home!”
“Thank you, master. Fare well then,” she said winking.
Mother Nature got up and danced happily along until she was a short distance away. Then she leapt twirling into the air and disappeared. The green fog and living things withdrew after her.
Dot willed himself to leave and felt his awareness expanding outward until he stepped into the persona of the circle again. Something was nagging at his awareness. Something that threatened to catapult him even higher into yet another new reality. Then he saw that what he was now perceiving was the ‘smaller than small’ part of the feeling that he constantly felt in the background of this odd place. With that realization, Dot slowly swept his gaze about and above him. He saw more hazy shapes all the way to the horizon of his awareness. These shapes were each as large as the entire multi-universal skein he had just become familiar with.

Becoming

He experienced the usual tugging at his essence as his awareness transcended its previous limits. Dot applauded himself for he was becoming an old hand at this threshold transitioning ritual. Dot let the feelings wash over him and transport him to his new destination.
When he saw the situation from his newly evolved perspective Dot was simply, utterly and forever, transformed.
There was a multitude of multi-universal skeins and together they formed an even larger extra-multi-universal skein. And Dot knew that if he willed it he could expand ever further and find ever larger structures all similarly designed.
He saw how it worked now. He smiled to himself at the simplicity and at how it all escalated to such complexity. Then he shrugged his hypothetical shoulders. So be it. Why resist what is? He chuckled at the thought that not only had he truly become the circle but that he had now come full circle.

For by declaring I am that I am, I state my divinity.
And I am suddenly home again, at last!


Ernest Cornelius Nemeth
Jan 1, 2013

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Texte: Ernest C. Nemeth
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.01.2013

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