THE FOUNTAIN

The fountain was a sacred place for Tim. He had been sitting next to it almost every day throughout the last two years. It was a place of peace and quiet for him. After a whole day of studying he used to unwrap this self-made lunch, sit down on one of the benches next to it and enjoy his leisure time.
Those were a few minutes which he had for himself; during which he could feel genuine. He always needed this time out. He was one of those people who really had a hard time studying. It was not because he was not smart enough but he was not really interested in law. He would have preferred to register for the studies of art. His father was a renowned lawyer and although there had never been discussions about it, Tim knew that there was no other way for him then his father’s. His father would not respect an art student as much as a student of law and he wanted Tim to make money in his future life. All his life Tim had had this feeling of being a permeable vision. His father had never had much interest in his life. Studying law, he had felt, was his last chance to gain density and become opaque. Tim hated law though. It was dry. Therefore, he was far behind the schedule. It took him forever to memorize all those definitions and case briefs. He didn’t like to be so finicky and pedantic about every detail. Thus, he had failed quite a number of classes already. Sometimes he felt that the studies where taking his breath. He felt a huge fat ugly monster sitting on his chest. Not letting him breathe. Crushing his lungs. That was why he enjoyed lingering next to the fountain at the campus away from his own campus. There he would draw in deep breaths of tranquil air.
Of course, sometimes other students would sit next to him and chat merrily away with their friends but he would just not pay any attention to them. He always got caught up in the monotonous sound of the babbling of the water of the fountain; almost drowning in it.
But this one evening everything was a little different. The fountain was off, because it was winter and Tim had forgotten to bring his lunch. He sat down on his bench anyway to take a few breaths of chilly fresh air and calm down after a demanding day. He had failed another test; an exam on EU legislation. He dreaded to go home. Although he was already 27 years old and although his father would not talk much to him about other things, he would regularly question Tim on his progress. He would give him good advice and even lecture him on the best ways of being a successful law student and consequently a distinguished lawyer. Tim really wanted to be more successful to not disappoint his father but he could not share his father’s enthusiasm for the matter. When his father got lost in his lengthy explanations, Tim’s mind would always start wandering. Pictures of his potential future life would emerge in front of his inner eye. He would see himself stuck in a tiny dark office with the dim light of a single desk lamp, bent over his books, no plants or other decorations and the air too thick to breathe without effort. Slowly the walls of his little office would move in on him. They would squash him between his chair and his desk until every bit of life in his soul would be quenched. Like his father, he would spend at least 12 hours a day there. It would be like being dead. He’ll have no wife, no children, and no life beside work life.
He just knew he would never have a wife or family. He did not doubt that he was going to die lonely; maybe in his office. It was not so much the thought of dying that scared him. Sometimes he even thought, that it might be a wonderful path to walk. But he loathed the loneliness. It had been his only companion for too long. However. Tim never met any girls. He knew a few girls who were in his classes and sometimes he did talk to them. Most of them were very nice and friendly. They would always answer him openly and occasionally even engage with him in a little chitchat, but none of them had ever shown any interest in meeting him in private. Hence, he never dared to ask them out. He feared that they would laugh at him for even asking. Or even worse, that they would befriend him but turn on him as soon as they would find out who he really was.
From time to time he liked to think there was life on another planet and that life there was easier. People were equal, everyone belonged and all were friends. He imagined that someday they would come and get him. They would choose him because he was special and take him along to learn about humans. He would not tell them the truth though; too ashamed of his race.
On days when he was in a less fantastic mood, he dreamt about life in another country. He always had wanted to go to Rome or Paris. There he could have studied his arts among the artifacts of the greatest artists of the world and started existing. Maybe he would find friends there. Friends who would share his interest in the arts and who would confer with him about sculptures of the Italian renaissance.
Tim looked up at the sky. I was already dark and he could glimpse a few stars above. The two girls who had been sharing a bench with him were getting up and leaving. He was left alone in the yard. Closing his eyes he took another deep breath. He felt how his lungs unfolded and inflated to their full size. The chill of the evening was creeping under his jacket. He opened his eyes again and wanted to leave also, when suddenly he noticed something. Something he could not quite make out at the start. It was some sort of light and it was at the tip of the fountain. At the spot where during the warm season the water would come out. Although it looked tiny and did not give much light, it was impossible to be overlooked. Tim figured that it might be a little lighting bug, although he thought it quite unusual to see one in the city. Besides, he thought that they are only active during the summer. He hesitated to go closer. He wasn’t sure if it would be worth the step. But he got somewhat mesmerized by the look of it and suddenly noticed how he drew closer without taking consciously active effort. The light had some sort of color he had never seen before. It was like it shone in all the colors of the rainbow at the same time without melting together but also not being side by side. He stepped up to the railing and climbed on the little wall on to which the fence was fixed. Although the light was little it seemed to radiate a comfy warmth. Tim’s face felt like he was close to a bonfire. It was a pleasant warmness and it spread to all of Tim’s body. Almost like he was snug in the arms of a beloved person. He bathed in the feeling for a few seconds and then decided that he wanted to go even nearer. He tried to climb over the fence, but could not find a step when all of a sudden the light lifted itself up from the fountain and expanded. It was a slow change almost not noticeable, nevertheless, it attracted his attention. Tim stopped in the middle of his movement and stared. He though he was seeing a small figure in the center of it. The figure was looking straight at Tim, or at least that was what Tim thought. He tried to make out more details. It had wings attached to its body and it seemed that it was naked. But the light was so dazzling that he could not tell for sure. He also could not tell whether it was a boy or a girl and he thought its skin had some sort of unnatural reddish tint. Gradually Tim realized that the light was now surrounding him. He was wondering when it had grown so big. But then he realized something else. He was naked, too. He started to smile. The feeling of the warmth was pure pleasure to this skin. The figure had moved a little closer like it was coming to greet him. Bliss struck his heart. All of a sudden all hesitation was gone and happiness was flooding his soul. This was what he had hoped for. He decided to meet it halfway and never looked back.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 07.04.2010

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