Chapter one
I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock singing the same old wake up song. I yawned, stretched, and then sat straight up eager to start the day. Hi, I’m Zoe Molson. I’m 16 years old, straight A student, and the weirdest girl you will ever meet. I know most people say that but trust me I’m the weirdest girl on this planet. I looked around my small, messy room searching for my backpack and some clothes.
Unlike most girls I have a sad life. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 3 years old and my dad never really cared for me. Ever since I turned 10 I realized that my dad is a no good piece of shit. My dad got remarried right away then got divorced then remarried again and his new wife is dying of lung cancer. Well enough about my dad. I live with my mom and her new husband Jack in Midson, Florida. Midson, Florida is a small little town not a lot of people and little trouble ever occurs.
I spotted my pink and black stripped side bag in the far right corner by my grey metal desk. I quickly got up grabbed the bag then I threw it on my bed. I searched for the clothes I was going to wear that day. My mother, Allison Manson, works at a well placed job; she works at the new hospital (so do I). With her pay plus mine plus Jacks I have no clue why I’m still going to a public school. I finally spotted my light blue, faded jeans, my white button down top, and my light red, button down light jacket.
I picked up my clothes and carried it across the hall to my bathroom. Another difference between me and every other girl is I’m very close with my mom and her family. Most teenage girls hate their mothers…well most of my friends do. Most of my friends are girls except for Erik, Jason, Mark, Tyler, and Kyle. Erik is my best friend and also my crush. The sadist part about my crush on Erik is I’m not the only one. My best friend Terri Curious and Ella Tory flirt with him. I took a quick shower and then got dressed in my jeans, tank top, and light jacket. I walked back across to my messy room and gathered up my backpack.
My room was small, has brown stained carpet, and boring white walls. I had a small bed on the left wall, a small light brown dresser with my small TV on it on the right wall, and my walls were covered with posters and pictures. The house I live in is a two story house and has a basement and attic. The funny thing about my basement is that it’s where I work out. As I walked down the steps I heard sounds of bacon being cooked and toast about to be burned. I hit the bottom step and threw my backpack of the couch. When my backpack landed I ran back up to my bathroom combed my hair washed my face brushed my teeth put on my makeup and blow dried my hair.
After all of this my face felt clean, my teeth felt clean, and my brown hair was dried and put it in a high ponytail. I usually don’t wear makeup but I hoped that if I wore make up Erik would finally see me, but then again I could also make my ex angry with himself or pick up some other hot 9th grader or even 10th grader. The funny thing about my ex-boyfriend is as soon as we broke up he started dating Melody Serion, the bitch of the school. I hated and still hate Melody, I’ve hated her ever since I meet her and now that we are in 9th grade and still stuck in all of the same classes our relationship had went to enemies all the way up to mortal enemies.
I sighed angrily at the thought of Jake and Melody going out and went on with my morning. My mom was standing at the stove making my breakfast wearing the usual tank top and pajama bottoms. My new dad was sitting in the living room reading the paper. I walked over, grabbed a piece of bacon, then I went to the living room, sat on the couch, and turned the TV on. “Hey honey. Ready for school,” dad asked. My friends never got why I called Jack my dad and not my step dad. It was simple I hate my real dad and my new dad is way cooler. I still talk to my real dad but this dad I’m closer to. “Yea…I Kind of don’t want to go…” I said. “Is it because of Erik and Ella again?” He asked. I nodded. “Princess you need to just focus on school.” I nodded and then turned on the TV. None of my favorite TV shows were on so I switched the channel to CMT and listened to one of my six favorite types of music. The types of music I like to listen to are country, pop, hip hop, metal, rock n roll, and classical.
I laughed under my breath. Erik said that the music I like tell a lot about me, it says I’m hard core and mean but I do have a soft side, Yea, right. “Zoe breakfast is ready.” My mother called. I leaped from my seat, quickly walked over to the kitchen, sat down, and stuffed my face with the 2 eggs, 2 pieces of bacon, 2 pieces of toast, and a cup of orange juice. Dad walked over to the table taking his sweet time. “So, how do you feel honey,” mom asked. I shrugged. Besides a bit of irritation and some stomach flu symptoms, I am fine. “I’m fine ma’.”
I answered almost done with my breakfast. “Okay. Grandma and I were talking and we decided that either this month or next month we are going to go camping.” Mom said. I stopped chewing the piece of bacon that was longed in my mouth; I dropped the fork that had Pieces of an egg on it. Mom and dad switched a look of happiness and nodded. “Really,” I said with my mouth full, “oh my god! When? Where? Why can’t we go now?” Mom laughed and so did dad at how enthusiastic I was and said, “Well this is what we are planning. We said that we’d go up to Big Lake and that you’d get to fish, shoot, maybe even write and draw.” I smiled. I can’t wait for the camping trip now! I mean, I get to fish, shoot, draw, and write that’s half of my hobbies. I smiled at my mom, finished chewing my bacon, and said, “Can’t wait.”
I helped mom and dad after breakfast clean up then I went back to watching TV. I can miss the bus, I have transportation. I smiled to myself when I thought about my Decoty. “Zoe don’t get to comfortable, you have to leave soon.” My mom reminded me as she walked in the living room her coffee in hand. I nodded then grabbed my stuff. “Sweetie, you don’t have to leave now.” My mom said. I looked back at her and said, “I know but I have to get to school early.” Mom shrugged and said, “Alright.” I ran back over to my mom hugged her then ran out the door to my Decotey.


Chapter 2
As I walked into Midson High I could hear the buzzing of conversation around me, see everyone being packed together into the commons, and I could feel the excitement in the air. I looked for my friends but only caught sight of two and those two were, Erik and Ella walking towards me each other’s arms wrapped around each other’s body. I closed my eyes for a second then opened them hoping a fake smile was on my face instead of the horror and depression expression that I felt. “Hey, Zoe, What’s up?” Ella said. Ella is 5’6 or 5’9 (around my height), short dark brown hair, pale skin, and silver, pale blue eyes. Ella always flirted with guys even though she had a boyfriend especially Erik. Ella had on a white t-shirt, pale blue, tight jeans, and her boyfriend’s grey hooded jacket on. “Nothing much, what’s up with you two?” I asked hoping, praying that they didn’t answer the same way they always do. Erik looked at me his light blue eyes a sea and me lost in them. Suddenly Ella’s voice brought me to grey colorless land away from Erik’s blue, perfect, ocean eyes. “Well, we are on our way to have sex.” Ella answered. Erik out stretched his arms, bent them, and brought them back as if he had grabbed something, pulled it back, and made it touch his pelvis. “Oh yea,” He exclaimed. Ella laughed and I let a weak unmeaning smile plant itself on my face. Erik playfully punched my arm and said, “Come on Zoe Lighting up.” I smiled weakly then started to walk away until Ella yelled out, “Zoe!” I turned to see what she wanted and was surprised when Ella was in front of me. Both her thin arms were wrapped around my body. I laughed, “Ella, you got to let me go!” “No.” Ella answered. Erik laughed at my failed attempt to escape her strong grip. “Okay Ella what do you want?” I asked starring at the top of her head. Ella stood up straight, let her grip fall, and said absolutely nothing. I starred at her a few seconds before I walked away. The commons were usual, pale white tile, green and white stripped walls, and there were stairs leading up to the other classrooms and offices. I was about down the hall when I heard, “Zoe!” I looked behind me and Erik was walking towards me. My heart jumps every time I see his face. He black hair was parted sideways which made it cover most of his forehead except for a section and most of his right eye, his jaw was sharp, and his skin was pale. Erik walked up in his usual dorky way he walked when he is trying to cheer me up. Erik got close enough for me to smell his musky scent, close enough for me to hug him, close enough to drive me crazy. Erik was wearing his black tight shirt, black tight jeans, sneakers and his new blue and black jacket. Erik looked down at me and said, “Can I…borrow you notes.” I looked up at him and sighed yes then pulled out the notes he wanted. Whenever he said “Can I” I always expect the words date you to come out. I found the notes crumpled up and smashed between two books, I handed it to him then walked down the hall I could feel tears take over my eyes and spill out. I sighed sadly then whipped away the one tear the escaped my eye prison. I walked into the bright classroom and spotted Sara and Lisa. Sara and Lisa were talking as I walked in and kept talking. “I can’t believe you think they look good together.” Lisa exclaimed angrily. “Well come on you’ve got to admit they do make a handsome couple.” Sara defended. Lisa shook her head in disappointment. I threw my backpack down by the seat that was behind Lisa but beside Sara. I planted my butt on the seat then asked the question that they hoped I wouldn’t ask, “What are you guys talking about?” Sara looked at me, her silver blue eyes wide open and surprised to see my seating there. Sara was 5”6 to 5”8, pale skin, blond, jaw length hair, and she had diabetes. Sara had the usual black t-shirt on, black tight jeans, and running sneakers. “Oh nothing,” Lisa said. I looked at Lisa not sure if I should trust that. Lisa has dirty blond hair that goes down to her shoulder, brown eyes, and she has tan skin. Lisa was one of the prettiest and most outgoing girls I know…yea she has those days where you just want to die but who doesn’t? Lisa had on the usually tight top, tight jeans, and some type of punk shoes. Sara nodded in agreement with Lisa. I looked suspiciously between my two friends and starting guessing what they are hiding from me. Erik and Ella are going out, um, Erik wanting to ask me out, or Erik and Ella being a couple. Defiantly the last one, I thought. “Guys if you’re hiding something from me you don’t have to.” Lisa and Sara looked at me as I said this then looked at each other. “Well…we were talking about how-,” Sara started then Lisa cut her off with, “Sara shut up.” Sara looked at Lisa and said, “No I will not be silent I will speak my mind.” Lisa laughed and I smiled. Sara was and has always been a dork ever since I’ve know her she has been a dork. Lisa looked at me and saw the tight smile on my face and knew that it was a fake smile and that I was emotionally upset. I shook off the depression of Erik and Ella and looked around the small room. I never really noticed but the classroom was decorated in a bunch of posters and pictures some of his students must have drawn. Lisa looked at me and then at Sara before saying, “So I’m going out with Jason again.” Sara looked at Lisa then gave her two thumbs up, while I just smiled at her and said, “Good for you.” We sat in an awkward silence for more than I can handle, when suddenly a bunch of students just walked in and swarmed the class room. The bell rang and then Mr. Torsion walked in and said, “Good morning class.” Mr. Torsion is married to Mrs. Torsion my science teacher. Mr. Torsion is 6”1, has hazel brown hair, has tan skin, and he is usually wearing clothes for comfort not for looking good.
30 MINUTES LATER
“Dude come on you’ve got to tell me.” I said to Sara. “No I don’t.” Sara responded total arrogance on her face. Mr. Torsion stood by the door and watched us bicker, a smile on his face, and shaking his head. Sara and I have been bickering ever since she said that a guy asked her out. “Who,” I wailed to know. “None of your biz wax.” Sara responded as she and I walked out. “Good bye Mr. Torsion.” Sara and I said as we walked past him. “Good bye girls.” He responded. “Come on Sara if you don’t tell me I’ll just tell everybody else then they’ll bug you even more than I am, especially Raven.” I told Sara. Sara looked at me wide eyed, she knows I’ll do it, she knows I’ve done this before, she’s seen me do it. Sara sighed looked away and then under her breath so quietly that I could barely hear it she said, “Carter.” I looked at her anger on my face and hysteria in my eyes. “Don’t you dare say yes to him.” I said anger rising in my tone. “Why not, he’s cute, he’s funny, and he’s-,” I cut her off right there and said, “He’s a big fucking jerk with no body’s interests at heart but his own. He’s a liar, a cheater, and a sexist bastard who thinks that all women should be doing is taking care of the house, kids, and pleasing her husband any needs necessary!” Sara looked at me and without blinking and said, “You dated him.” I clinched my teeth together to avoid yelling at her…because I wasn’t mad at her I was mad at him. After a few seconds I calmed down and said, “Yes I dated him but I didn’t know how big a pile of trash and dog shit he was.” After that we walked down the hall in silence neither of us ready to break the tension especially after I had just yelled about my ex boyfriend. Sara and I split ways at the end of the hall, she went right I went left. I quickly paced towards my next class before any one came up and asked if I was going to go back out with Carter. “Zoe! Zoe! Zoe!!” Someone called. “Zoe wait up!” I stopped dead on my heels and looked for the person who was calling my name. It was Robert Frewin the dumbest and most annoying guy in the whole entire school. “Zoe…you…walk…to…fast,” Robert stated between huffs of air. I bit my lip to keep from screaming at Robert to go away but I already was in a foul mood…and he wasn’t helping. “Zoe you look like someone pissed you so off.” Robert said. I greeted my teeth and said, “Someone did now would you please-,” before I could even finish a savior came and saved me. “Hey Rob leave Zoe alone she’s not happy right now and you probably aren’t helping with the foul mood.” Erik said. Robert nodded and walked away with his hands slightly up as if Erik was holding him up or something around those grounds. I turned and faced Erik and said, “Thank you. God I thought I might actually have to kick his ass today.” Erik smiled at me and said, “You wouldn’t have done it, you’re too nice.” I smiled and I could feel blood rush to my face. “I heard about Carter…I’m sorry.” Erik said. I looked up at him with a tear in my eye and said, “It’s no big freaking deal…he is out of my life now…and I don’t care…what he does.” Erik could tell I was lying…I could tell I was lying. Erik wrapped his long arms around me and pulled me into his hug. “Zoe, you don’t have to be so strong right now…you could fall apart if you want to.” I hate the way he can affect me, as soon as he said that sentence I fell apart. Tears streamed down my face and landed on his jacket. I forgot where I was, who I was, all that matters is who’s here, and who’s got his arms wrapped around me. Erik hugged me tighter and was whispering in my ear, “Sh, its okay. I’m here.” Erik has never seen my cry never once…he was handling this pretty well. I pulled away and looked up at him. “I’m…sorry.” I said between shallow breaths of air. “Zoe, it’s alright I’m the one who broke you down.” I sighed and knew this was probably super awkward for him so I whipped away the tears that were on my cheek and put on a fake smile. “Thanks, Erik.” I said. His arms slowly dropped away and as they did he said, “No problem.” Mrs. Torsion finally arrived, unlocked the door and let us in. Everyone pushed and shoved their way through the door and then quickly walked to their seats. Robert and David were seating down already and talking. I sighed and went over to my hell hole. I sat down in the pale blue chair and then looked around the table. Robert had the usual green t-shirt on, baggy pants, and some weird straw hat on top of his dirt brown curly hair that went down to his shoulders. David had on the same old red hoodie he always wears, jeans, and he looked more depressed than ever before. I never really understood why he was depressed. I mean, he has friends, he has a good family (from what I hear), and he is doing well in school…what is he so depressed about. Of course if anyone asks he just simply says, “You won’t get it,” which may be true but I would still tell people. “No dude that’s not what my books about.” Robert said in his usually annoying voice. “I know what your books about and it’s about gay guys screwing other gay guys.” David said. “NO IT ISN’T!!” Robert yelled. I sighed sadly then looked over at Erik. Erik looked at me then his attention got pulled away. I sighed sadly seeing that my plan to just get lost in Erik’s eyes was destroyed and that I had to face Robert and his annoying questions. I turned my face at Robert who was still arguing with David about his book. I miss a lot of things from last year. Like last year I wouldn’t have to worry about guys like Robert cause they were never around and if they were they left me the hell alone. A tear escaped and I murmured so low that I could only hear, “Last year…” “Did you say something?” Robert asked. I looked at him and shook my head then directed my eyes so I was looking straight down at an empty sheet of paper. I quickly dug through my backpack for my favorite green mechanical pencil. My bag was a black hole I put something in and I don’t find it till a few months or even a year later. I finally found my pencil after a few seconds or even a minute of digging. I came back up and let the tip of the lead touch the paper. Ever since the beginning of this year I have changed so much that I can’t even describe. When I was just a toddler my mom said that I would do random stuff or I’d do something that most toddlers would do and get hurt and end up crying. Now I do the stuff but now it seems expected. I guess you can say I like surprising people. This year has changed my viewing of life. I used to think that life was long lived and that if you did the right stuff asked the right people then you would get what you wanted…now I see that life is a pile of shit and we are drowning in it. I kept moving my pencil not really paying much attention to what I was drawing just that I was drawing. My life is like…well it’s like a knot. You get the string all nice and neat then with one wrong move you destroyed it in an undoable knot…and I was making the fucking huge knot even bigger and harder to untangle. I stopped drawing when I heard Robert say, “Zoe, stop drawing the teacher is writing something on the board.” I looked up at the board and sighed…test review. I hated and still hate Test reviews. I quickly stuffed the piece of paper in my backpack and then pulled out some paper that was clean. I quickly scratched the notes and questions on the piece of paper then I just sat quietly as Mrs. Torsion talked. The classroom was pretty big (well it had to be for a science classroom). The floor was plain white tile, the walls where green, blue and white but stripped differently. There were 6 ½ tables and 4 people at each table (except mine and except for the half a table). There were a row of counters around the classroom and cupboards. There also was a smart board at the front of the classroom and a white board by the door. I starred up at the digital clock above the board and said, “Only 30 more minutes.”
30 MINUTES LATER
“Zoe, you are so slow.” Erik stated as I walked out of science. “Shut up Erik you aren’t so fast yourself sometimes.” “Well, today I’m faster than you.” “Whatever Erik, whatever,” I said. Erik laughed and then pushed me. I hit the wall with a smack and then I said, “Rape.” Erik laughed and said, “Oh you know you liked it.” I looked at him and said, “You want me to like it.” He laughed and shook his head. “Hey are you gonna be okay in advisory?” Erik asked. I looked at him and shrugged. “I guess we will see.” Erik looked at me and asked, “What would you say if he asked you out again.” I sighed and said, “I hoped you of all people would either know the answer of not even bring it up. I’m gonna tell him hell no and say that I’d rather be eaten alive by a bunch of rats.” Erik looked at me open mouthed and said, “Wow seriously.” I looked up at him and nodded. “I hope to never get on your bad side.” I smiled and then said, “See ya later.” I quickly and quietly walked down the hall and ignored everybody. I was happier but at the same time pissed off. I got to my classroom and walked over to my assigned seat and sat down. Thanks to everyone in this damn advisory we were in study hall lock down which meant nothing but reading or doing homework. I looked at my backpack and then looked at the board. Writing in big blue letters it said, “You are not to move, not to speak, and are to only be reading/doing homework.” The classroom like the rest had tile floor, plain white walls, and there is a white board in front and a black board in the back. I sat down and pulled out my book that Sara wrote and signed for me. I smiled when I saw the picture of me and then a single tear ran down my cheek. It was a picture of me in the hospital just before school started. “Hey, babe how are you?” A husky voice appeared. I looked up and say Carter standing in front of my desk wearing the usual tight t-shirt, baggy pants, boots, and he had a cap on that was facing off the side. His sharp black beady eyes were staring at me…well a fraction of me. I looked down at the part of me he was starring at and saw that my button down, long sleeved shirt was gapping open and showing some of my cleavage. I quickly and embarrassingly buttoned up that part and then slouched in my seat. “Hey why’d you button up?” He asked. “Because you don’t get to see that anymore you don’t have the privilege to be admiring them not even from a far.” I got up and walked towards the back of the room to get another book when Carter reached out and was about to grab my ass…till I grabbed his arm, twisted it behind his back, and pushed him onto a desk. “Don’t you ever touch me there again you worthless piece of no good shit.” I said. Carter was suddenly out from under me and was now behind me, one arm around my hips, and the other having my left arm behind my back. “Listen, bitch, you’re mine. Okay, we declared that. Remember I said you’re mine and you said duh I’m yours so I get to stare or touch anything I want.” As Carter said this his arm that was gripping on to my hip was starting to drift down a bit. “Stop it Carter!” I screamed. Carter stopped but turned me so I faced him and then slapped me. “What you gonna do?” Carter asked. I gasped then tried to escape his grip. “No one’s here, no one can help you I can just do whatever I want.” He said with arrogance in his voice. Carter then lifted me up and sat me on the desk. He was now in between my legs holding me by my hips and pulling me close to his body. I lifted my hand to hit him but he stopped me with one blow to the ribs. I took a deep breath then said, “The teacher-,” but Carter cut me off with a, “She won’t be here she’s ha paying back a favor.” I tried to scream out but I could barely breathe. I couldn’t hit him I couldn’t scream anymore I was frozen in fear when suddenly I heard a zipper…whose zipper I don’t know. Carter laughed. A sudden knock hushed him up and then came the voice of Erik, “Mrs. Jenson…Mrs. Jenson.” Carter laughed quietly. Suddenly the handle moved and the door opened. Carter loosened his grip probably in shock over the door not being locked and I quickly took the advantage and knocked him on his ass. I jumped off the desk and quickly ran towards Erik tears in my eyes. Erik pulled me into a hug and looked up at Carter. “Zoe, are you okay? You’re freezing cold…why is your shirt half way unbuttoned?” Erik asked. I looked down and saw that while Carter was sexually harassing me he was able to unbutton half of my shirt and thanks to that now my bra and cleavage was vulnerable for any eyes to see. Erik quickly took off his jacket and put it on me then zipped it up. “Come on; let’s go see the nurse and the principle.” I nodded then went with Erik. We walked down the hall his arm around my waist pulling me close to his body in protective way. The commons were still filled with people and they were all still talking but stopped when they got caught of me in Erik’s jacket, his arm around my waist, and probably a red spot on my face from when Carter hit me. Everyone just watched in silence as they saw Erik walk me to the nurses. We walked in the nurses office and I could feel the spot he hit me get red and puffy. She looked at me and asked, “What can I do-,” Erik stopped her and then closed the office door. The nurse looked afraid but I would be to if a huge 9th grader who was suspended from school for a month for getting in a huge ugly fight came in and shut the door. After the door clicked shut Erik walked in front of me and looked at me as if to get permission before looking and revealing what had happened. I nodded and he then grabbed the zipper and unzipped the jacket. I would have been happy for this moment if it weren’t for the fact that I was just sexually harassed and the fact that I would and will never do that till I am married. As he unzipped the jacket and showed the nurse my half unbuttoned top, my unbuttoned and unzipped jeans, and of course then explained what happened you could see the horror in her eyes. The horror of just imagining what happened. She sat me down on a bed in the back and said that she’d be right back and she need me to strip from my clothing to see if I had any other bruises. I sat on the bed starring at the ground tears hitting and landing on the tile. Erik kneeled down and lifted my chin. “Hey, your okay…your okay.” He said. I looked at him my eyes red, my cheek hurting, and feeling so violated that I couldn’t even say that he was right. He saw the feelings in my eyes and knew that I didn’t think I was alright. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight whispering that I was going to be okay and he wasn’t gonna leave my side till he was sure I was okay. He never showed this much affection for me…never. I guess when my life is in danger or when I have a mental break down he does but...the nurse walked in before I could finish the thought with the councilor on her heels and the principle to. Erik stopped hugging me and stood. “You can leave now Mr. Charter.” The principle said. “No, I’m not leaving until she tells me to leave.” Erik said. I smiled at him and nodded at the principle. The principle looked at Erik then at the councilor as if asking if that was a good idea. The councilor shrugged and said, “Okay.” They looked at the now bruise on my cheek and my shirt that was missing some buttons. “Zoe who did this to you,” the principle asked. Tears filled my eyes when I thought his name. “C-carter,” I said tears escaping my eyes. Erik sat down beside me and pulled me so that he had one arm around my shoulders and the other hand reaching over my right leg to my left leg. I hid my face in his shoulder and started crying again. Today was just not my day. “Zoe I think we should call your mom and tell her what happened.” The councilor said. I wanted to protest to say no…but my mom deserves to know when her only daughter gets raped almost by her ex boyfriend. I nodded and then looked up at Erik. “Erik you can go. You don’t have to stay here.” Erik looked at me and whipped away a tear then said, “You’re right I don’t…,” oh great me and my big mouth, “but I want to.” I smiled at him and then started to relax. The principle left and said she had to go talk to Mr. Rapist or Carter and then the councilor left to go call my mom. “Erik, I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to ask that you leave.” The nurse said. “Like I said I’m not leaving unless-,” he began to argue until the nurse said, “Zoe has to get undressed.” Erik blushed then said, “Well I’ll be right out the door when you’re done come get me.” I smiled and nodded and watched as he left the room. I quickly undressed from the filthy clothes and into a huge shirt, sweatpants, and socks. I opened the door and pulled Erik back into the room with me. Erik and I walked over to the bed and sat back down. “Ah…my head,” I said. “Zoe you’ve got to lie down.” Erik told me. “N-n-no…” I said drowsiness suddenly taking affect. I looked up at Erik. He smiled and slowly laid down and brought me to lay right on his side. I slowly closed my eyes and let a dream state take place.


Chapter 3
I woke up and looked around. Erik was gone and I was not at the nurse’s office. I was in a small room, white tile, white walls, and white furniture. I looked around and saw flowers and cards. I was in a hospital…my guess. The grey metal door that faced my bed opened and Erik walked in. I smiled every time I see Erik my fears…worries…and my world just…disappears. Erik looked like he had been through hell. His black hair was a mess, he had the look of a worried husband or boyfriend, and he looked as if he was scared or depressed. “Hey you,” I said my voice a bit husky from sleep.
“Hey,” Erik said almost a whisper. “How are you doing?” Erik asked as he sat in the seat right by the head of the bed. I shrugged and said, “Well, I still got a headache, my ribs hurt, and well for some reason I can’t stop shaking.” Erik looked at me pity in his eyes. “What are you doing here?” I asked. “Like I said I’m not leaving your side till you say I can go.” I smiled.
“Well you know I probably won’t let you leave my side for awhile.” I said. “Yea and I hope you don’t let me leave.” I smiled and Erik smiled back. “So, uh, what’s the conclusion of my case?” He sighed and said, “Well simply Carter broke 2 ribs, gave you a concussion, and he…uh…he… was able to uh cut you.” I looked at Erik confusion in my eyes. “What do you mean, I don’t remember being cut.” Erik leaned over and gave me the same may I look. I nodded and then he lifted the paper gown up to show a nasty looking scar that went from the side of my butt down to my calf.
“The doctors stitched it up.” Erik said. “I…don’t…,” Erik looked at me and saw the confusion in my eyes. “They said that he had a switch blade hiding inside his jacket like…the Piranhas.” Erik said. A single tear ran down my cheek. The Piranhas are a gang that “runs” uptown. The Piranhas killed my best friend, Michelle just because some kid wanted to join and we looked like the perfect girls. Of course I was with her when it happened. The only reason I lived was because at the time the Piranhas where afraid of my family. But those days are over I’m now at the top of their hit list. Erik whipped the tear away and then held my hand. “The cops say they have the Piranhas with your sexual harassment, raping, and of course the beating.”
I looked up at him and said, “But it’s not the Piranhas that did this Carter did. They should be arresting him. I’m not saying that the Piranhas don’t deserve to be behind bars but that they should arrest the guy who did it.” Erik smiled at me and said, “You hungry? I’m gonna go get you something to eat.” “Okay.” I answered. Erik got up and left the room. I looked around and then looked over by a chair in the corner. There were 3 green bags. One was large and the rest were small almost like makeup bags…mom. My mom walked in and she had on her work uniform and her hair was up in a ponytail. “Oh my god, honey are you okay? They didn’t tell me what exactly happened just that you were raped and, oh honey did he hit you hard?”
My mom frantically asked. I smiled at her and laughed at her thousands and thousands of questions. My mom sat in the chair right by the head of the bed and I told her what happened. “And yea that’s all I know right now,” My mom awed in amazement and then I asked, “Where’s dad,” As I asked this Erik walked in with two paper bags. “Hey…oh hello um…,” Erik looked at me for the answer. I laughed and said, “Mom, Erik, Erik, mom.” I said.
My mom smiled and said, “So you Erik huh?” Then she laughed. I could feel blood rush up into my cheeks as Erik looked at me. “Mom, didn’t you say you had a thing to do.” My mom looked at me and said, “Oh right I have to go but it was really nice to meet you.” “You too,” Erik said. My mom was a pain in the neck…but I loved her for it. Erik watched my mom leave then sat down in the chair that my mom just unoccupied. Erik stared at me for a good minute then said, “Well, I didn’t know exactly what you like so I got you a subprime burger, large curly fries, and a large Dr. Pepper.
I smiled at him then said, “Hand it over.” He laughed then handed me my food. I pulled the subprime burger out and took a big bite out of the thing and chewed for a good long minute before swallowing. Erik pulled out his food and took a bite out of what I guessed to be the new BBQ sandwich, well actually burger but whatever. We sat in silence just eating our amazing junk food and enjoying that I’m alive and the Carter was going down. I took a long sip of my soda then I asked, “So, did I miss anything at school?” I stared at Erik waiting for the answer but Erik seemed too involved with his burger to even have noticed my question.
Erik looked up at me, swallowed his food and then said, “Well, I’m the wrong person to ask.” I looked at him with curiosity writing all over my face and asked, “What do you mean? Didn’t you go back to class when they came and got me?” Erik shook his head, “Nope I stayed with you. The doctors and nurses suggested that I stayed and gathered your homework but I declined and went with.” I smiled and shook my head, “You’re too sweet for your own good.” Erik smiled and said, “I know.” I laughed and took another bite of my hamburger. I never really was able to hang out with Erik…well I was but not alone not like now.
If we did hang out Ella was always with him. She would be at his side her arm wrapped around his waist and his arm wrapped around her shoulder. It always killed me to see them like that, but now we are alone…together…alone together. I laughed, aloud, at my stupid remark. “What’s so funny?” He asked. I looked at him and smiled. “Nothing…just well I realized we never hang out.” Erik looked at me and said, “We always hang out.” “Not alone. Ella is always there and so is the rest of the group…me and you never get to just you know sit alone and talk.” Erik was about to protest but thought it over and by the look on his face I’d say he realizes that.
He looked at me and said, “You’re right. I’m sorry we don’t.” I shrugged and said, “It doesn’t matter.” I was lying through my teeth even though I wished it was so true. Erik stared at me sincerity in his eyes and then brought his attention back to his food. I did the same. I took another bite of my hamburger, drank some coke, and then ate some curly fries before the doctor walked in. “Hello Mrs. Molson, and how are we feeling.” The doctor said. I looked up at the doctor and was almost pushed away by his beauty. He is tall, not as tall as Erik, has amber brown hair, and very light eyes.
Of course he wore the white coat doctors wear and he had the clipboard that most doctors hold. “Well I’m pretty good still having a headache and all but I’m good.” I responded. The doctor nodded and wrote something down. “Well, you’re free to go but I’m going to write you a prescription for the headache and for your ribs.” I nodded. The doctor left and as soon as the door closed behind him Erik looked at me and said, “That’s great.” I nodded and then quickly got up.

3 HOURS LATER
I stepped out of my mom’s green Toyota with Erik holding my right arm and helping me get out. “Erik, I told you to go home.” Erik smiled and said, “Nope, I’m not going anywhere till I’m sure your fine besides I can walk home I don’t live that far away if you remember.” I smiled and shook my head, “How can I forget Mr. Remind me ever single second,” I said bobbing my head back and forth in a mocking way. My mom ran in front of us and unlocked the door. My house on the outside was pretty normal. Tan pueblo walling, a blue purple roof, a pavement road that lead to a purple blue garage door, a dark brown wood porch, 7 surrounding trees, and some flowers that were scattered and covered my overgrown weeds. Erik always teased me about being a red neck about the yard.
I never listened to him. My mom unlocked the dark brown door and pushed it open. Erik lead me into the house and we both were surprised when my grandma, my dad, my uncle, my grandpa, my great aunt, my great uncle, my two little cousins, and the rest of my family shouted out, “Welcome home!” We both jumped and gasped at the greeting then laughed. “Oh, thanks guys! But wasn’t like I was there for months.” They all shrugged and my great aunt, Sofia, said, “Oh who cares? We are just happy that you’re alright.” I smiled. Erik was standing stiff as a brick not moving or saying a thing, which was unusual for him.
“Erik are you alright?” I laughed. Erik looked at me, after a minute or two, and said, “Yea just didn’t think I’d ever meet your whole family.” “Oh this isn’t the whole family sweetheart this is only half of the big Manson family,” My grandma said. I blushed then whispered, “Erik you can let me go now. I need to thank everybody.” Erik looked down at me with serious eyes and said, “I’m not gonna let you go…ever.” I blushed then quickly looked away from his gorgeous blue eyes before I was consumed. “Well let’s get this party started Zoster.” My cousin, Amber said. The music suddenly came on and everyone was mingling while Erik helped me go to my room.
We strolled into my room and where approached or we approached a clean bedroom. I smiled and thanked god that mom cleaned my room. Erik helped me get to my bed then said, “Okay, well, uh…” I laughed at how embarrassed he was with the situation placed before us. “Erik, I’m not handicap I can get dressed.” I said. Erik laughed and said, “I’ll wait in the hall way.” “Good idea.” Erik left and I quickly changed from the sweats, t-shirt, and sneakers my mom dressed me in. I stood in front of my closet full of clothes and just stared. “What am I going to wear?” I asked myself. This questing was a question I rarely, well actually never, asked.
I sighed and said, “Zoe stop being such a girly girl and wear your jeans and a t-shirt.” I looked around then found my favorite black jeans that had holes on my thigh down to above my knee. “Okay pants check,” I said, “well now for the shirt.” I usually didn’t really care what I wore to school or anywhere else for that matter but whenever I remember that Erik and I usually hanged out together I freak out and start being all girly girl about what to wear. I hated how he affected me like that. I searched my shirts and found my good shirt that matched the pants.
It was a white tank top with kind of a flowered pattern on the collar. I walked over to my desk that had a mirror hanging above and quickly fixed my hair. My mom almost didn’t put the huge mirror there but I convinced her it was a good idea. My silver blue eyes where plain as always and I looked flushed out. I growled in frustration at my appearance and said, “God, why the hell do I even try.” I looked inside my desk drawer and searched for my makeup bag. I wasn’t going to go out into the big welcome back party looking as if I was tired and sick…which I was.
I found my black and red skull design makeup bag and pulled out my black eyeliner, my black eye shadow, and my mascara. I had green colored mascara, blue mascara, red mascara, and boring black mascara. I love black but sometimes you have to change it up a bit. I put on the red mascara and the rest of the makeup I pulled out. After my hair was fixed and I looked more like me I walked out. I don’t really care if I look good in front of the family but I didn’t want to look bad in front of Erik.
As soon as I stepped out I ran into Erik. “Ops, sorry Erik,” I said. Erik looked down at me and sighed. “Erik what’s the matter.” Erik flipped out his new touch phone and showed me a text he got. It read, “If you want to see your baby sister again you’ll make Zoe Molson drop the charges against Carter Jerson. If you bring the police into this then you can say night night to your sister.” I looked up at Erik and saw a single tear fall down his face. “Hey, don’t cry…don’t cry.” I said. Erik looked up at me and said, “What am I gonna do? I love my sister so much…I can’t even…,” I stopped him before he got to over worked.
“Erik, don’t worry I’ll drop the charges…as long as it means your sister stays alive.” Erik looked at me with serious eyes and said, “No…you can’t drop the charges then he sees that with the helping of kidnapping one of our family members then he gets whatever he wants from us…he can get you.” A shiver ran up and down my back. I was scared for Erik’s sister’s life but the thought of Carter being able to not only have me but to do whatever he wanted…gave me more than the shivers…it gave me the creeps. I stared at Erik for a long second then I said, “I don’t care your sister’s life is more important.” Erik looked at me.
His eyes said thank you but his body language said Hell no. Before Erik and I walked down the stair case and enjoyed the fact that I was alive I had to make the call telling my lawyer that I was going to drop the charges. I picked up the black and grey home phone and dialed my lawyer’s number. Usually I didn’t fear much but right now…at this second I was terrified. Erik looked at me and asked, “Are you sure?” I looked up at him. I had so much I wanted to say. I wanted to say that I wasn’t sure I was only sure that I wanted his sister alive, I wanted to say that I wanted to be his, and that as much as I hate to see that sick bastard and the Piranhas get away but I can’t handle having Erik’s sister’s death be all my fault.
“Yes, I’m sure.” As I picked the phone up and pushed my finger to the first number of Maria’s, my lawyer’s, number Erik’s phone chipped alive. “Who is it?” I asked Erik. Erik looked at me and I could tell just by the look on his face that it wasn’t someone he wanted to talk to. “It’s the leader of the Piranhas.” Erik said. I looked at Erik confusion and much more writing all over my face. “Why would they want to talk to you?” I asked. Erik looked down and said, “It says that they don’t trust you or me enough to make the call so either we have to meet your lawyer in person or write her a letter.” I looked at him and said, “That’s impossible. She doesn’t have the time to meet in person and she didn’t give me her address.” Erik snapped his head up and I could see the doomed, trapped, and helpless feeling he had in his eyes. I hated to see him like that, so helpless.
“Erik, don’t worry I’ll try to get a hold of her.” I said trying to ease his worry. “Zoe I’ve never felt so helpless I usually can handle this kind of stuff. What am I going to do?” Erik asked. Not only did Erik feel helpless but I felt helpless to. This was a situation I can’t handle. I know the consequences of my decision and I know what happens if I can’t get a hold of my lawyer. It seemed not only was I in the middle of a situation that I can’t handle and could never possible understand but I also was in the middle of a family situation that more or less involved the police that we could not call or count on. I sighed thinking over how complicated this situation is.
Erik’s sister taken hostage, Carter part of the Piranhas, and of course if I do drop the charges he can still threaten Erik’s sister’s life to get to me. Thinking about it makes me feel nauseas and more than that I’m sure Erik was thinking about it. His sad depressing face was slowly but progressively turning into a face I knew him to wear when he saw me and Carter holding hands, hugging, or even kissing. A face he wore when he saved me from Carter. He looked at me with his serious eyes and said, “Forget it. My sister may be on the line but…I won’t let him touch, look, or even think about you.” If he said this and no one’s life was in danger I would have either kissed him or would have blushed and said thanks…defiantly would have blushed. Erik looked at me with his intense eyes and smile.
“You’re blushing.” Erik stated with a smile. I quickly touched my cheek. He was right…I am blushing. I quickly dropped my head to avoid eye contact and tried to find a way out of this embarrassing scene. “Zoe, what’s a matter?” I heard a familiar small voice say. I looked behind me and there stood Makayla, my 5 year old cousin. “Oh, nothing Makayla,” I said. I looked back and Erik. He looked at Makayla and smiled. She giggled then ran off. Erik always had this affect on girls. When we first met and he smiled at me I always got butterflies and blushed…I still do that. Erik’s smile got even bigger. “I love how I can do that.” “I don’t understand how you can do that.” I said. Erik looked at me and said, “Well, it all depends on this.” He brought both of his hands up and down the upper part of his body and said, “If this isn’t in good shape then no girl laughs.”
I laughed hating his charms by the minute. Erik was always a flirt that’s was why I never really went after him (not that I could have him). If he and I did date I’m sure he’d still flirt with all of our friends and I would be kind of jealous and over protective. I stared at Erik for a long time then I looked around. We were in my mother’s room. My mom’s favorite color is green so she decided to decorate her room as if she were in the rainforest so it was mostly green. Her bed was, in my opinion, the leaves and vines of the trees so we got a green comforter with vines and leaves decorated on it. Her carpet was the same as the rest of the house, brown, her walls where a light green and she had a curtain that was a very light green. She has two white doors, one leading to her closet and the other to her bathroom. Erik looked around and asked, “What?” “Nothing just…you know taking in where we are.”
He smiled and laughed. “Do you always do that,” He asked. If I was going to lie I’d say nope not at all. “Yea kinda,” I said embarrassed by that fact. Erik smiled and said, “That’s cute.” I looked up at him and smiled. He thought it was cute. He thought it was cute, I kept saying over and over in my head louder and more excited every time I rethought it. I smiled then lost the happy feeling when I remembered that some one’s life was on the line. Erik’s hand gentle touched my cheek and he said, “If you stop smiling I’ll break down.” Oh my god, he…he…I…there is no words just that he’s touching me and it seemed more…boyfriend than friend.
Erik’s hand was cold against my skin but I don’t care. Erik and I stayed like this for a minute or two until Erik leaned in close. My heart jumped up to my throat and the butterflies were back. Erik stopped moving closer and just stared into my eyes as if worried that I didn’t want him to. I wanted to move closer but I was frozen in shock and happiness…happiness that he was this close to kissing me. I took a deep breath of his musky scent and just held it. I would never ever be able to get this close again…ever. I looked into his eyes and then leaned in.
I was gonna take a chance, hope that this is what he wanted. I stopped and just stayed afraid to move any further forward. A sudden knock made us both jump and pull away. My Cousin Amber stood in the door way staring at me and Erik. “Oh, sorry am I…interrupting anything.” Amber asked starring at Erik. Amber was maybe two or three inches taller than me, she has brown layered shoulder length hair, and she was tan. Amber wasn’t the type of person to flirt with another family member’s boyfriend…but then again she would flirt with some one’s crush. Amber had on a red violet short dress that went to the middle of her thigh, 2 ½ inch high heel red shoes, and she was wearing the kind of makeup I wear. Erik looked Amber up and down then said, “Uh, no…no you didn’t interrupt us.”
I sighed. One perfect moment, one blessed second and it crumpled to pieces thanks to Amber. Erik and Amber walked out laughing and I stood alone. Maybe he really just thinks of me as a friend. Maybe I should just forget about him and save his sister. The one thing I did expect from him was to ignore Amber for a moment and concentrate on the fact that his sister may die...but hey what do I expect from a guy. I looked down at his phone and sighed. The phone rang the usual chime. “Zoe, are you gonna drop the charges?” It read. I starred at it for a few seconds contemplating the facts and the consequences.
If I didn’t then Erik’s sister would die but Carter would be in juvenile…I think. If I did then Erik’s sister would be alive but Carter could kidnap Erik or someone else I care about and threaten their lives to. I sat on mom’s bed staring at the phone…maybe I can buy some time. Yea I can buy some time figure out who kidnapped her and then save her…she’ll live, Carter will go to jail, and…Erik well go back to normal. I sighed. Only one problem with this plan…it doesn’t change Erik at all. I looked at the phone and then text back, “I’ll drop the charges but you have to give me some time. My lawyer is hard to find and she is a busy woman.”
I sent the message and put the phone down. Now I just had to wait. I looked at the door way expecting Erik to walk in and say he is sorry…but nothing. The door way was empty of presence…empty of Erik. I sat on the bed for a few more seconds before laying down and curling up. I was alone…mentally alone…physically alone…and socially alone. I sighed and then stared at Erik’s phone. I wonder…if he still has pictures of us from last year. I picked up the phone and click on the camera button. A rush of pictures showed up on the screen and the first one was of me and Erik in Washington in front of the Lincoln Memorial. I smiled. Last year was the year me and Erik got really close.

1 YEAR AGO
“I can’t believe it’s raining this hard.” Erik said. “I know right. Who knew that it would rain this hard?” We stood in front of the Lincoln Memorial and we both were soaking wet. Oh Erik was so cute during that field trip. He decided that he was going to be a gothic person but he wasn’t pulling it off. “Hey do you think that Mr. Diota will understand why we are late for the bus.” I shrugged. “Maybe,” I answered. “Hey let’s just make a run for it.” Erik said. “Okay,” I answered. I was about to run when Erik grabbed my hand and pulled me close to him. “Hey what if we didn’t go back?” Erik asked. I laughed, “Well we wouldn’t survive.” “I could get a job, we could just…stay here…together.” I looked up at Erik and say full seriousness in his eyes. I smiled. If I did run away with him right there right then…we wouldn’t be here…in this situation. “We can’t…what about your sister or our mothers.” He nodded, “Your right…besides I couldn’t stand living with a pig like you.” He said in his mocking voice. I smiled at him. “Well speak for yourself,” I said. We laughed as we ran towards the bus.

PRESENT DAY
I sighed. Last year I was happy I didn’t really care that much about my crush but because of the crush becoming more than just a crush I was always depressed and always mad. I never ever felt happy. I sighed and a single tear went down my face and landed on my mom’s pillow. I never ever felt truly happy. Ever since Ella came into our lives and flirted with Erik I have been depressed. I looked through the rest of his pictures and found one of Erik and Ella…kissing. They must have dated over the time period when Ella and her boyfriend broke up for a bit. I dropped the phone on the bed, full out crying now. I sobbed in a breath and let it out on a loud obnoxious sobbing sound.
Ugh I am so disgusted with myself. I said I’d never ever loose myself over a guy and here I am sobbing because I saw a picture of Erik and Ella kissing. I heard running footsteps getting closer to my mom’s room. I quickly ran to the door, shut it, and locked it. A banging sound followed by, “Zoe are you okay,” filled the room. I slid down the door and covered my face with my hands. I can’t believe they kissed. My obnoxious sobbing got louder and louder with every bang of the door. “Zoe what’s the matter?” Erik’s voice called. Just hearing his voice hurt. I stopped sobbing and took a deep breath. “I-I-I’m f-f-f-fine.” I said still sobbing. I took a deep breath then looked at the window. I could run now. Get away. Maybe Carter or the Piranhas will come finish me off. I got up and picked up Erik’s phone.
I quickly unlocked the phone and saw the text message I was waiting for. I looked at the door and said under my breath, “Bye Erik I love you.” I quickly grabbed a note pad and wrote the messages I wanted him to read then I looked back out the window. I ran over looked down then stepped on to the roof for the floor below. I slid down the roof jumped, caught a tree that I usually climbed, and then dropped the rest of the way. I never did this when I broke a few ribs so I don’t know how bad it’ll hurt. As soon as I hit the ground my chest hurt but I was to depressed to care. I looked around then ran around the house to the front. When I started working at the new hospital as a care giver I saved up 10,000 bucks and I hid it just in case one day my dad pissed me off (which was impossible) or I had to help a friend.
I grabbed the lime green plastic container. Okay I can stay away for maybe a month or so which wasn’t how long I was going to be gone. I’d be back in a day or two. All I needed was space. The plastic container, two bags, and another set of keys were all hiding under the porch. My mom and dad knew of my stuff under the porch and told me that it was fine. They knew I love them too much to stay away for long. I grabbed the stuff and ran over to my Decoty. By now mom and dad got the extra set of keys and where reading my note saying that I’d be back later that I just needed some space and that if I stayed I’d surely comment suicide. I got to my Decoty and started the engine.
My mom would tell Erik were I usually go to get some space and then he’d go home get his motorcycle and come try to take me back. I didn’t want this but at the same time I did. As soon as the Engine roared to life I heard the door open and saw Amber, Makayla, Erik, and Mom come out. I kicked the stand up and rode off. As I looked to see who came out I saw that Erik had his phone back. That meant he read the note and he saw the text message from the Piranhas. I rode of tears blurring my vision but not stopping me. Right now I didn’t care if I died…I didn’t care if I ended up in the hospital again…all I cared about was getting away.


Chapter 4
I raced down the pavement roads racing towards the house that my mom, dad, and I bought for me to run away to. It was all the way in Los Angles but lucky for me Midson and Los Angels are really close. I raced pass passing cars and trucks…just a few more miles. I stopped crying a few miles back and was seeing clearly. When I planned out how I’d run away I never expected it to be about Erik or Ella I expected it to be about my mom and dad. I guess I should have seen this running away then coming. I finally entered Los Angles and I was racing toward the house not paying much attention to my surroundings. I heard honks and beeps and a few unkind words but they were slowly becoming mute as I listened to the beating of my heart beat and suddenly the sound of my phone going off. I ignored the song and kept driving. I had to get to the house before I do anything.
Last time I was here was when my dad yelled at me when I was with him. I pushed my scooter all the way there. Thank god mom bought it. I arrived at the house and just stared at it. The house was in a good neighborhood with a neighborhood watch. I remembered the day I first came here what all the neighbors thought of a little depressed girl riding her scooter up to the house with a large backpack and with a chained pocketknife showing.

2 YEARS AGO
I rode up to the big house mom bought and walked up to the door tired from the long work out. I walked to the door and turned the knob. It was locked and I forgot my key. I sighed and pulled out my new red pocketknife mom got me. “Um, excuse me little missy but do you live here.” A voice said from behind me. I didn’t bother looking up or even saying anything I just focused on working the lock. “Excuse me.” The voice said again. I sighed loudly and said without facing whoever was yelling at me, “Yes okay my mom bought the place and I forgot my keys now if you’ll excuse me I need to get in.” “Why don’t I believe your story?” The female voice asked. “Because you’re a stuck up bitch who can’t let anyone do their crap so leave me the hell alone or I’ll call my mom and tell her that you’re stalking me.” Silence, I looked behind me to see if the person was still there to see a tall woman wearing bright pink high heel shoes, a business skirt, and a puffy pearly white shirt. I looked up at her and then read the orange thing around the front of her shirt. “Neighborhood…watch.” I read aloud. I looked up at the tall woman and smiled. “Uh…hi, I’m Zoe Molson and I-,” the woman cut me off and said, “I don’t give a rats ass who you are.” She grabbed and pinched my left ear lobe and said, “I’m calling your parents.”

PREASENT DAY
That lady turned out to be very nice and every time she sees me she gets this bright cheerful face…then again it helps that I dated her son once. The house was a two story, has an attic, a basement, 4 rooms, 3 bathrooms, a large kitchen and a large living room. There also was a pool in the back. The house on the outside was a tan pueblo like house only for the roof is a dark brown brick roof and unlike my home it was clean of weeds but full of organized flowers. I unlocked the tan door and before I even had the chance to open it I heard Mrs. Clearfall’s, the lady who grabbed my ear lobe, voice.
“Hello Zoe.” She called. I turned and saw her right across the street. “Hey Mrs. Clearfall,” I called. She was wearing the usual dress, high heels, and her hair was up in a bun. “What brings you out here?” She asked. “Oh you know trying to get some space and breath.” She nodded and then asked, “Would you like to join me and Mr. Clearfall for dinner?” As much as I liked the Clearfalls I couldn’t handle dinner with them…it was freaking boring. They ate said nothing and that’s pretty much it. “Uh, no but thanks.” I called back. She nodded and then walked back over to her yard. I sighed faced the house and walked in. This was my house…or that’s how it felt.
Mom and dad never really wanted to come or buy this house it was too close to my real dad. As I walked in and took a deep breath of the houses air and let it out slowly. I haven’t seen or been to this house for maybe 1 year or 10 months. I looked around the house and smiled. The floor was hard wood, the walls where a green and dark green stripped, and there was a mat in front of the door that read, “Welcome home, Zoe.” I smiled and walked all the way in. The living room was the first room that greeted you. There is two white couches, a glass table, a flat screen TV, a few game systems, a couple of games for each system, and a large book shelf.
I walked to the couch sat down and let out a long heavy sigh. I love this house so much. My phone let out its little jingle that meant someone was calling me. I picked up the phone and said, “Hello?” “Zoe why did you ride away like that, and why the hell are your parent so calm about it?” Erik’s voice asked. I sighed sadly and said, “If you must ask look through your recently looked at photos and then call me when you’ve got a damn clue.” I hung the phone up definitively then went upstairs to my room. He might not be mine but I have the right to get pissed at him. He kissed Ella for god’s sake. She’s a no good piece of unwanted trash. I sighed. I’m not mad at her I’m mad at him I told myself.
I unpacked the clothes in my bags then went downstairs and checked the food supply. I had zero food…eating at the Clearfalls sounded good. I sighed and walked over to the phone and dialed Pizza Hut. I love pizza so much and thanks to the money I saved up and thanks to my mom and dad for saving up I can live and pizza. “Hello how may I help you,” a male voice asked. “Hey I’d like 2 large Pizzas um, 2 large galloons of Dr. Pepper. That’s it I live at Mapel Drive house number 77890 thanks.” I hanged up the phone and then laid on the couch. I loved this house but…I hated how empty it felt when I was alone. I looked out the back window and then down at my phone with it chipped the usual ring. “Hello?” I answered. “Okay yes me and Ella kissed but she kissed me.” Erik’s voice said definitively. “Then why do you have a picture?” I asked. “She stole my phone okay.”
“Whatever Erik besides it’s none of my business who you kiss.” I said. “Your right it’s not but still I don’t want you to think of me that way.” He said. “Why do you care what I think?” I asked. A long silence was at the end of the line. “Well,” I asked. Another long pause followed by a honking sound. “You know what forget it.” I said as I hung up. A tear trailed its way down my face. I sighed and got up off the couch. I don’t know why it bothers me so much. He’s a big boy, he’s single, he’s…not mine. I crumbled to the floor sobbing and curling up as I sobbed.
I hated this feeling. I felt as if my heart was caving in on its self. I couldn’t breathe or think. I got up slowly still sobbing but not as bad. Sat up and let out the rest of my tears. I hated how bad I felt and I hated how I sobbed. After I finished sobbing I got up and went upstairs. I had to wash off the bad feelings or else I might start hurting myself. I walked up stairs and into my room to get some different clothes. My room has hard wood floors, a light yellow walling, and was decorated in yellows and greens. I had a queen sized bed that was facing towards the opposite wall it faced and it had a light green comforter. At the end of the bed there is a light brown dresser and on the opposite wall there is a flat screen TV.
I opened the dresser and pulled out a huge grey t-shirt and my red and black skeleton designed pajama pants. After I had all the clothes I needed I walked over across the hall to my bathroom. I started the water then went down stairs. My bathroom was normal. It had a shower that was also a bathtub, a toilet, and a sink nothing to special. I ran downstairs grabbed my Evanescence CD that had all of my favorite songs on it then ran back up to my bathroom. Whenever I was or am upset I grab their CD and listen to it. I never thought I’d listen to their songs thanks to Erik. He always made me laugh. I walked into the bathroom, put the CD into the yellow stereo and then switched to track 17, song, “The Last Song I’m Wasting on you.” I got in the shower and started getting my hair wet.
20 MINUTES LATER
I stepped out the shower turned off the stereo and walked down stairs. After a good shower and some crying I was ready to talk to Erik again…maybe. I picked up my phone and went to Erik’s name. For his contact picture there was him and me hugging side to side and in front of the high school…it was our first day of high school
5 MONTHS AGO
“Erik, I don’t know.” I said. “Come on Zoe. We need to do this.” I looked at Erik and shook my head. “You meant we want to do this.” I responded. “No we need to, how else are we going to remember our first day of high school?” I looked at Erik still thinking over what he asked me and then I said, “Um, okay lets do it.” Erik smiled and said, “Okay let me get ready.”
I laughed at him and said, “Okay.” He held up his phone and fixed his hair and then he looked at me. My heart was up in my throat and I could barely breathe. “Okay I’m ready, come here.” He said. I giggled then climbed on top of his lap. “Okay let me see the camera.” I smiled and handed him the camera. He held it up then pushed the button with the picture of a camera on it. The phone snapped and then he retracted it. “There a picture of us on our first day.” I smiled and looked at Erik still sitting on his lap.

PRESENT DAY
I smiled but lost the smile when I remembered what Erik did. I’m being so stupid so what he kissed Ella he cares that I ran off and he probably is on his way now. Oh listen to yourself you are fantasizing that he’ll show up and you guys will kiss, well sorry to ruin your dream but that isn’t going to happen. My phone suddenly ringed. It was a text message from an unknown number. “Hello Zoe did you get in contact with your lawyer.” My heart was beating loud and clear. Fear was all I could see and think of. They know my number they have all they need to track me down. I ignored the terrifying fear I felt and texted back, “No like I said my lawyer is busy.”
I sent the message and waited for a reply hoping they bought it. I had a mission that’s also why I ran off. I had to do this far off so my parents aren’t involved. If they got hurt I would be to depressed…I’d be past depression. I sat on the couch staring at the door imagining what it would have been like if we lived here. Neighbors wouldn’t leave us alone, we’d know all the neighbors and they’d know us, and worst of all I’d be the odd ball of the neighborhood kids. I don’t care if I’m the odd ball but at the same time kids would stare at me and rumor about me and yes I’d kick their ass if they did but it would be a hell whole. Worst of all I wouldn’t have met Erik and ended up a good friend…even though I want to be more.
My phone sang out its song and I picked it up. Please be the Piranhas, please be the Piranhas I thought and pleaded. Nope it was Erik. I sighed and stared at the phone. Should I answer It? I sighed and pressed answer. “Yes,” I greeted. “Wow is that how you great everybody?” Erik’s voice asked. “Well guys like you yes.” “What are guys like me?” Erik asked. “Flirters, cheaters, abusers, and filthy liars,” I answered. “Come on Zoe we both know you like me and you can’t stay mad at me forever.” Erik said. I sighed. Why did he have to bring this up? “I will agree to the I like you part but not the mad forever part.” Erik sighed and said, “Yes you can never stay mad at me all I have to say is stop being mad at me please in a dobby voice and you aren’t mad at me.”
I growled under my breath and said, “For your information that doesn’t work I can’t stay mad at you when you are face to face with me and saying how sorry you are.” Suddenly the door rang. “I gotta go.” I said as I hanged up. I opened the door and there stood Erik. “Erik…what-what are you doing here?” I asked stumbling. Erik looked at me and said, “I’m here to help you.” Erik looked dead tired and looked as if he might just pass out right here right now. I swallowed hard and said, “Help-help me with what?” Erik sighed and said, “Stop acting stupid.” I angrily put my hands on my hips and said, “Look who’s talking.” He sighed angrily and said, “Don’t start Zoe.” I glared at him and said, “No I will start you…you…” I didn’t even have a good come back or a cuss word.
Erik sighed and walked past me into the house. “Uh excuse me who invited you in?” I asked angrily. “Well by the whole “you, you” thing I guess that I was invited.” I rolled my eyes and said, “I’d kick you out if it weren’t for the fact that it’s almost dark and that you look exhausted.” He smiled and put his feet up on the class coffee table. Erik had his leather jacket on and what he had on when we were at the house. I sighed. I was pissed at Erik and trying my best to keep that pissed attitude up. I sat down at the farthest end of the couch. Erik looked at me and said, “Oh so now I have a disease or something.” I looked away to keep from smiling and said, “Yep I’m not coming an inch closer to you.” I kept looking away.
I couldn’t look into his eyes or I would surely lose the pissed of attitude that made him feel like a jack ass. I stared at the TV when suddenly two hands where on my hips and moving me towards Erik. I looked and Erik had moved me straight to his lap. I was about to struggle and tell him to stop but he moved my face so I looked directly into his eyes. I stared into his ocean like eyes and didn’t move. His smile that was on his face when he moved me melt away into a lust line. We both leaned in about to kiss when the bell rang. I sighed aloud in anger and I wasn’t the only one. I got up walked over opened the door and the pizza guy was standing there. “5.99.” the Pizza boy said. I sighed and handed him the money. I took the pizza boxes and threw them on the counter with my soda. Erik looked at me and we just stayed like that…in awkward silence. I cleared my throat, went to the cupboard, pulled out a plate, then put four slices of pizza on the plate.
I picked up the plate carried it over to Erik and said, “Here you go.” He looked down at the plate and asked, “What about you?” I smiled. I hated this. He was able to make me smile even though I was still angry at him. I sat down beside him and turned on the TV. “What do you wanna watch?” I asked him. He looked at his choices and said, “Friends sounds good.” I clicked on friends and then rested my head on Erik’s shoulder. “It took two people to break up this relationship.” Ross yelled at Rachel. “Yea you and that girl from the coffee shop.” Rachel yelled back. I looked up at Erik he was smiling at the TV and He was shaking his head. “What, “I asked. “It’s just that in the end they end up together and we both know that and yet they are resisting.”
“Well they have good reasons.” “Like what,” Erik asked. I looked at the TV then looked back at him. He was looking down at me his smile wide as ever. I stared up at Erik and said, “Well um….uh….” Erik stared at me waiting for the answer. His smile was slowly disappearing as I stumbled to find a good reason. Erik was leaning in closer and closer until my phone rang. I sighed and looked. “It’s my mom.” I told Erik. He nodded. Mom probably knew that we would be near kissing. I picked up the phone and answered, “Hello?” “Hey honey is Erik there?” Mom asked. “Yes mom.” “Well when are you guys coming home?” Mom asked. Well if I did convince Erik to help me see who kidnapped his sister then we would be gone I would say for four to five days.
“Uh I’ll call you back when I know the answer.” I said. “Okay.” My mom said. I looked at Erik and said, “Okay here is the deal. I think that the Piranhas didn’t take your sister I think maybe someone else did and if we investigate we will be able to tell who did it. So are you in?” Erik looked at me and smiled he got up off the couch and walk in front of me. “Babe, I’m with you forever.” I smiled and said, “You called me babe.” Erik smiled and said, “I know.” I blushed. “I got to call my mom and tell her how long we will be gone.” “Which is how long,” Erik asked.
“Well my estimation is maybe four or five days.” Erik looked at me. “Four to five days? Whoa that a lot of days.” “Yea I know but we need some time to get some suspects and then to get some evidence.” Erik nodded and said, “You’re right.” I loved it when he agreed with me. I picked up my phone and dialed my mom’s number. “Hello?” My mom greeted. “Hey mom we decided it’s gonna take four to five day so yea talk to you later.” I said as I hanged up. Erik looked at me and smiled. “What? She would have asked a lot of complicating questions like why we are staying so long.” He smiled and said, “You’re probably right.” I smiled. He was so cute when he agreed with me. I looked at the clock over the stove and sighed. “What,” Erik asked. “Nothing just…never mind I’m going to go to bed.”
“Okay.” Erik said. I walked up into my room and then climbed into bed. I stared up at the ceiling thinking over the day. Carter raping me, Erik and I almost kissing, and now Erik’s sister’s life is on the line and Erik is downstairs and all I wanted to do is to go down stairs and kiss him. I sighed and turned over. I had to fall asleep. Somehow I had to fall asleep even though I knew that the love of my life is down stairs watching TV or texting his crush. I sighed. I closed my eyes and then sat up. “Why can’t I fall asleep?” I asked aloud hoping something might answer. I sighed then slowly tip toed towards the stairs and looked down. Erik was sitting on the couch staring at the TV.
His eyes looked serious and he was laid back in a relaxed position. “What are you going to do? Uh, are you gonna run out on us now that its hard? Come on Rachel, I’m crazy about you.” I heard a deep but light voice say from the TV. “No, you hurt me Ross…and I can’t let you hurt me ever again.” I heard a crying woman’s voice say. Erik looked deeply depressed and he had the look that said he went through that once. I took a deep breath and started heading down the stairs. When I stepped on to the floor at the bottom of the stairs and cleared my throat Erik jumped from his seat and gave me a glare that said, “Don’t sneak around like that.”
I laughed and said, “Hey sorry just came down to get me some soda.” “Oh right…ha ha.” I giggled from his answer and crossed the kitchen over to the soda container. I picked up the heavy container, poured enough to satisfy my thirst (or to go alone with the ‘I need a drink’ lie). I turned around and ran directly into Erik spelling my delicious soda all over his nice shirt.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Erik I’m such an idiot,” I apologized.
“It’s-,” Erik began to say until I cut him off with, “No, don’t you dare say it’s okay. This is your favorite shirt and I ruined it with soda I feel like such a fucking moron!”
“Hey you’re not a-,” he began to say again until I interrupted with, “Don’t stand up for me I know that was your favorite shirt and ugh I’m so-.”
“BABE, calm down. Okay, look I’m fine your fine and this shirt I don’t really care for anymore.”
“Since when,” I asked.
“Since you think you’re an idiot for spilling some soda on it.”
Blood reached my face and it lit up like the 4th of July probably. I quickly brought my face down so my vision could only see my awkward feet covered by my black skeleton designed socks and his sockless pale white feet and toes. I took deep breaths and tried my hardest not to freak out like I usually do. Last time Erik and I had an awkward silence like this was last year on the D.C. trip when he offered for us to elope together. I still regret not taking his offer.
Sudden cold fingers on my chin bringing my face up brought me back from my troubling thoughts and memories and to see Erik pulling my face up to his. “Erik w-w-what are you doing,” I asked almost unable to remember how to move my lips. Erik’s eyes showed more of his feelings and I could see something a spark between us. “I uh wanted to uh…nothing,” he said as he pulled away, “I guess I should let you go to bed.” I closed my eyes and took a deep almost calming breath. I opened my eyes and then pushed past him up to my room. Ugh, how could he lead me on like that! I thought we were actually going to kiss, that son of a bitch! I walked into my room and shut the door angrily then laid on my bed starring up at the ceiling. I let out a sigh in frustration and let my mind drift.

DREAMSTATE
I sat on a green hill, my legs pressed to my chest, and my face hiding in my knees. The sky was crying rain like I cry over Erik only more violently. The hill was surrounded by trees and bright colored flowers. Erik suddenly appeared with a smile on his face that brightened the sky. The rain clouds ran off in fear of his mighty smile and he opened his arms as if waiting for me to run into his embrace. I wanted to but my body stayed in the position it was in…the painful tortured position. Erik got closer and laid one hand on my shoulder.
My head snapped up and revealed a hideous monster with razor sharp teeth and eyes glowing red. My pale white skin was now a bloody crimson red and was slowly oozing more of the crimson red. A dark deep growl escaped my throat and I lunged at him.
MORNING
I sat straight up in my bed my chest heavier than usual and my eyes filling and exploding out with tears. “What the hell was that,” I asked myself out loud. Sweat was dripping off of my temple and my neck and sliding down my back. I took a few deep breaths and once my mind was clear of the dream and I could breathe and move again I would be up and ready to start the search for the kidnapper. I rubbed my eyes hoping that if I rubbed them hard enough the bad dreams would disappear, but all I got was a headache. What kind of girl dreams that she turns into some kind of blood thirsty monster and kills her love…sick weirdo’s who haven’t had a boyfriend in a while.
Sounded like me. I laid back down and started stretching out all of my muscles one at a time. Okay, first on the list of things to do is to take a shower, next is to grab some clothes, eat a nice breakfast, and finally start searching for some clues. Two knocks on my door made me jump straight up and brought my attention to my doorway. Holy mother of god, I thought when I saw Erik standing in the door way plaid pajama pants on and no shirt. His long arms that were nicely muscled, his wide chest, and his flat, abed stomach was almost too much. “Hey, you alright there you look like you are having trouble with your jaw,” Erik said. I suddenly realized my dry mouth and my open jaw. I quickly closed my mouth and then grabbed my glass of soda and took a large swallow of it.
Erik laughed then walked over to me and said, “Well I was going to come in here and wake you up but since it looks like your already up I’ll go make us breakfast.” I smiled and said, “That sounds good.” Erik made a fist then lightly taped the bottom of my chin with his fist. I smiled and then gently pushed him out of my room. He was just about out the door when he turned to me and asked, “Hey are you okay you look kind of…sick or maybe just tired.” The dream suddenly popped back into my mind and almost pulled me back into its deep dark clutches. I shook my head to get rid of the bad memories and then said, “I’m fine it’s just a bad dream.” Erik tilted his head and brought his eyebrows up in a questioning kind of way. “You don’t want to know,” I told him. He shrugged and said, “Alright well I’ll go start breakfast.” I nodded and as soon as he left I took a deep breath and shook it off not wanting to fall apart in front of him again. I went over to my dresser at the end of my bed and began searching through it for some good clothes. I pulled out my light blue jeans that are torn at the hems, my big baggy white shirt that had a smiling Japanese anime looking panda, and my light, green jacket that has a hood. I grabbed all of my clothes then I went across the hall and started the shower.
Butterflies suddenly were filling my stomach when I remembered that I wasn’t alone in the house, when I remembered that Erik was here…just downstairs. I took a deep breath then said, “Get over yourself Zoe, nothing’s going to happen.” I touched the water with my wrist then pulled it out quickly. “Ouch,” I said between clinched teeth. I grabbed the green cotton towel and patted my wrist down. I reached back and to the burning hot water and turned the crystal ball handle towards the C. I pulled my hand back out and then leaned against the wall waiting for the water to cool.
I wonder why Erik stays. He knows I can figure out who kidnapped his baby sister. I shook my head of the annoying questions about why Erik would stay and then I reached into the water to see if it had cooled down. I smiled at the cool feel of the water then pulled my hand out and stripped from the clothes I was wearing yesterday and then I stepped into the bathtub and began enjoying my shower.
10MINUTESLATER
I stepped out of the shower my hair dripping wet and my skin shinning from the water. I wrapped my cotton towel around my body after drying my hair. I ran my rainbow colored brush threw my hair trying to get the tangles out. I wonder if breakfast is ready, I though, I wonder what Erik made. I pulled my thoughts from Erika and breakfast and started trying to think of who would want to kidnap Erik’s little sister, Andy, and what their motive would be. Well, besides the Piranhas or Carter I was drawing a blank. I could think of no one who would have a reason to kidnap her. I set the brush down and then I grabbed my makeup bag and began applying my makeup.
I carefully put my black eyeliner, my black mascara, my light yellow eye shadow, and then my light glitter overcoat for eye shadow. I looked in the mirror making sure that I was satisfied with the way my makeup turned out. Suddenly the bathroom door opened letting steam roll out and letting cool air come in. I clinched the towel closer to my body and then I looked over at the doorway to see Erik standing his eyes wide and his right hand on the door knob. “Ah, Erik what are you doing,” I yelled at him. “What I just wanted to use the bathroom. I thought you were out and were in your room,” He said. I glared at him and said, “Erik please leave so I can get dressed.”
Erik’s eyebrows rose up and he asked, “And if I don’t?” “There will be hell to pay.” Erik walked further into the bathroom and walked closer to me. My heart beat increased and my palms became sweaty. My breath grew heavier and so did Erik’s. He leaned down and leaned in close to my ear. “I could take full advantage of your situation right now, you know that right,” He whispered. I nodded my head unable to do anything else. His lips barely touched the skin of my neck and he said, “I’m going to go and let you change I have to go get some clothes and some care products so I’m going to take some money from you and go shopping. Is that okay with you,” He asked, his lips touching my skin whenever he talked. I shook my head and licked my lips. “G-go ahead,” I said. Erik pulled away a little but then kissed my cheek and said, “Breakfast is on the table I’ll be back soon.” Erik walked out and I just stood there listening to his footsteps down the stairs over to the door and then the sound of the door opening and closing. My legs felt like jello and soon enough they gave out.
I fell to the ground and just sat there unable to move and barely able to breathe. He…he kissed my cheek. I could hardly believe it. He…he…he wow. I shook my head and then stood well at least tried to stand up. I got to my feet and griped to the counter. I shook off his touch his affect on me and began to get dressed. After my clothes were in place I walked down the stairs slowly still not that quiet sure of my strength after what Erik had just done. As I stepped on to the floor of the living room I was greeted by the smell and vision of omelets. A smile spread across my face and I shook my head. He can be so sweet and so romantic. I walked over to a plate set on the table with an omelet on it and found a red post note right by the plate. It read;
“Dear Zoe,
Enjoy the breakfast I made for you. I will be back shortly after my shopping and when I get back I need to talk to you but until I am back please stay in the house. I don’t want to worry about what might happen to you while searching for care products okay. So stay indoors and please if you do decide not to listen to me to leave a note saying where you went to.
Love,
Erik.”
I smiled and read the note over and over again, imagining him writing it. I shook my head of the image and read the note once more before sitting down and began digging into the delicious omelet. I never knew Erik knew how to cook. I didn’t even think he was even brave enough to come into the bathroom when a girl is in it practically naked and just start barely kissing her. I shook my head. “Stop being such a girl,” I told myself. I rubbed the top of my head and then stood up to wash my plate. I looked at the door and said, “Okay I’m going to go and investigate but I’ll be back in a few minutes.” After it was all of the dishes were clean and all of the leftovers were put in the fridge I grabbed my helmet, my bag, my phone, and my keys and then walked out of the house.

 
Chapter 5
I parked my Decoty in front of the coffee shop and just took in the view of the building. It was an old style brick building that had a green and black sign with a girl holding a cup and in big black letters it read, “Starbucks.” There were two huge windows on either side of the light brown wooded framed glass door. Under the windows and around the sidewalk and path up to the door are flowers, small hedges, and small lights fairly hidden by the plant life around the building. I could see from out here that Carter was already there and was sitting a widow sit. I looked around, he has to have back up because why else would he want a window sit. Nothing was around the coffee building except a few hobos with a basket filled with papers, cups, and other trash. I took a deep breath, took off my helmet, set the helmet on the Decoty and then I walked into the building. As I walked in the smell of fresh baked bread filled the air. The coffee house was nicely decorated.
The floors were a bamboo light colored wood, the walls a light and dark brown coffee mix, the walls were also decorated with pictures of grey children or grey backgrounds nothing to special. There were 8 tables in the coffee shop, 4 chairs at each table, and most of the tables had 1 to 2 people sitting at them. As the door shut and I stepped more into the shop I could see Carter sitting at the table two coffee cups one in front of him and the other placed across from him. I took a deep breath and held back the anger rising within me. I wanted to kill him right now. He had no right for touching me and for violating me. As I started walking towards the table the leg in which he stabbed began to hurt and throb. I stopped walking for a second and clinched my teeth. Okay forget the leg you’re here to talk to Carter and get some clues. I took a deep breath and continued walking to the other side of the tabled. I pulled out the wood, flower decorated chair out and then I sat down. “Hello Zoe how are you,” Carter asked casually. My hands clinched into fists under the table and the heat of my anger was boiling my blood. I took a deep half calming breath and I said, “I’m fine, Carter. How about you,” I asked.
Carter’s dark brown eyebrows came down into a frown expression that matched the edges of his lips that where down also. Carter had his dark brown ear length hair curled a bit at the end, his dark brown eyes were serious and filled with anger and desire. He had a white t-shirt that hung close to his skin, tight dark blue jeans, and his black and white sneakers. His leather black jacket hung on the back of his chair and he had on the chain necklace I gave him for our 1 month anniversary. Carter looked down at his necklace and said, “Oh yea I kept it. I decided not to waste a nice necklace over you.” I let out an harsh and sarcastic laugh and said, “Oh you crack me up.” Carter smiled his demon slime smile and then said, “Have a drink I remember your favorite.” I looked down at the cup suspicious of what he might have done to it. “Ha, what you don’t trust me. Come on what would I gang for drugging you,” he asked. To have away with my body, to cut me up into tiny little pieces and throw them all away, to get rid of me. “Oh I can think of a few reasons.”
I picked up the cup, leaned over to the nearby trash can, and then I threw the full cup into it. Carter let out a light laugh as he said, “You were always the paranoid one in the relationship, always worried it was going to end, always worried I was going to cheat on you.” “You did cheat on me and with my best friend.” I yelled out at him. “That was a long time ago. Let the past stay in the past we’re in the present.” Anger in raged me and it wasn’t going to stay back and caged up any more. I reached up and snatched his still hot coffee and then with not even a second thought I threw the burning hot liquid on to him. Carter let out a scream and crashed to the ground. An evil smile almost planted itself on my face and then an evil thought appeared. “How dare you think that you can just get me pregnant and leave you jerk.” I wailed out as I walked out of the coffee shop. I stepped out to the cool air and raced to my Decoty. I put the keys in the ignition, turned it on, put on my helmet, and then I gunned it down the street and on the way down the street was able to kick the kick stand up.
5MINUTESLATER
I pulled up into the drive way to see Erik’s dark blue Harlie. Damn, I thought. I pulled up next to the Harlie and then I kicked the kick stand down. I pulled out the keys and took off my helmet regretting the fact that I had to face him. He would be pissed, he would be passed pissed. I swung my right leg over the bike and then set my helmet on the seat. Okay, Zoe you’ve got to be a woman and face him. I let out a held back sigh and walked up to the front door. I put the key in the door knob and stopped. I can run now he won’t even know I’m gone, I thought.
Don’t be stupid Zoe he’ll notice when he hears you dragging your pride on the pavement as you haul ass, I yelled at myself. Okay, okay I’ll be a woman and face him. I sighed, turned the key, and then opened the door to the sight of Erik sitting on the couch that was facing the door, his elbows on his knees, and his face in his hands. As I walked in and shut the door his head snapped up and in one quick motion he was up on his feet. Oh crap, I thought, I’m dead. He walked quickly over to me then pulled me into a tight hug that was squeezing me almost to death. “Don’t you ever leave and not tell me!” He said harshly. He grabbed my shoulders, pulled me away from his body, and looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Promise me you will not ever, ever do that again. Promise me right now.”
“I promise,” I said. Erik pulled me back into his body and wrapped his arms around my waist my arms stay at the side just dangling. I slowly brought my hands up and wrapped them around his neck. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of his musky scent and just holding it in enjoying the closeness we are sharing. A tear escaped my eyes and landed on his shirt as I realized this would be the few days I would have to be this close to him. Erik pulled me away and looked into my teary eyes. He caressed my cheek and said, “Hey don’t cry.” I whipped the tear away and sighed.
“Yea I’m sorry. It’s so stupid.”
“Hey do you remember that time in D.C. when I said we should run off and elope?”
“Yea I think about it all the time.”
“Really,” Erik asked.
“Yea I remember everything. I remember you had on that Bad to the Bone shirt, and you had your favorite jeans on, and you had your lucky tennis shoes. Ha you even had you’re lucky socks on.”
“Wow, how come you remember all of that,” Erik asked. I looked away and blushed. “I remembered everything because that was our last time together.” “What do you mean we hang out together all the time,” Erik said. “Not in a friendship way but…in…a different way…the way you hang out with Ella.” I said. Erik’s ocean blue eyes grew large as he realized that I was right that we did hang out like the way he and Ella did now, but only that one time. Erik caressed my cheek and said, “I’m so sorry. I should have…” He stopped there not able to finish his sentence, not wanting to admit that he knew that I loved him and that he was too stupid to see past is fazed desire for Ella to see me…or so I hoped he was seeing. I could feel tears bubble up in my eyes and spill out. Erik whipped the tears away and said, “I’m sorry.” “It’s okay you didn’t know,” I said. Erik let out a sigh and said, “No I knew and I should have stopped teasing you and torturing you.”
Anger filled every part of my being and spilled out. “You knew, how…how…could you,” I said. Erik saw and heard the anger that filled me and said, “I’m sorry I’m such a jerk. Lisa told me not to do that to you that I was going to push you farther away from me and I was afraid she was right,” Erik said quickly. What the hell, I thought, he was torturing me for the past year now and he knew I loved him…ugh he’s such a bastard. My hands balled up into fists and were ready to hit Erik. “Erik how could you, you knew I loved you and you still thought it would be good to flirt with me and Ella.” I said. Erik looked down at me with confusion in his eyes. Oh so you only flirted with Ella huh you bastard, I thought. I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh. “Zoe, I only flirted with-,” Erik began to say until I cut him off with, “No I know you only flirted with Ella you were just being friendly with me.” Erik’s eyes got wide in horror and then I pulled away from him. “I need to make a call,” I said as I walked towards and up the stairs.
“Zoe-,” Erik called up to me until I interrupted him with, “No its okay I understand. You can choose what we eat tonight while I’m making my call.” I walked up the last few steps then ran into my room. I leaped onto my bed and began to sob. “Why Erik why,” I sobbed into my tear stained pillow. I cry from and for him night after night and day after day and I’m getting fed up with it. Why can’t I get over him!? He’s a jerk and if I could I’d just get over him but…it’s so hard. I took a deep breath and whipped away my tears. Okay Zoe pull yourself together if Erik sees that you’ve been crying he’ll get all worried. Please he wouldn’t give a shit if you where holding a knife to your wrists and swearing that you would do it. Shut, I told myself. Okay so I’m acting like a stalker right now with this talk of how much I love Erik and I sound like a complete lunatic talking to myself but don’t most people? Erik would care if I told him I wanted to commit suicide and if he saw me crying I know he would be there to cheer me up…I hope. I shook away the doubts in my head and sat up on my bed.
No I know he would be there. I looked at my chocolate touch phone and then picked it up and clicked on contact book. A list of names popped and each in alphabetical order. Alexia, Carl, Dad, Ella, Emma, Erik, Jessica, Lisa, Mark, Mom, Rachel, Raven, Rose, Sandra, Sara, Sasha, Terri, and Uncle Gorge’s names all popped up and each had a picture of the person. I clicked on Sasha’s number and her picture enlarged. Sasha and I have been friends since we both began Elementary school. I looked up at her picture and smiled. We took this picture of her on our last day of Middle school.
LASTDAYOFMIDDLESCHOOL
“Come on Sasha I need a picture of you for my phone,” I pleaded to Sasha. “No, I look stupid in pictures,” Sasha said. I laughed and gave her my ‘you want to bet’ look and said, “No trust me you look way better in pictures than I do.” Sasha shook her head and smiled. “Fine go ahead and take the picture, BUT you owe me.” Yea, yea I owe a lot of people, I thought. “Okay,” I said. Sasha pulled out her blue rubber band that was holding up her light brown hair, shook her hair around, and then she smiled. I brought the phone up so that her image filled the screen and then I clicked the ‘Take Picture’ icon.
PRESENTDAY
I smiled at her picture and shook my head. She always hated pictures. I clicked the ‘Call’ button and waited for the sound of Sasha’s voice. “Hey, you’ve reached Sasha sorry I’m not in right now just leave your name and number and I’ll call you back.” Sasha’s answering machine said. I let out a sigh and then when I heard a beep I said, “Hey Sasha its Zoe I just wanted to call and talk for a while but I guess either you’re at school right now or you’re busy so I’ll call you later bye.” I hung up and then dropped my phone on the bed. I have to call someone, I thought, if I don’t then I would have lied to Erik and I hate lying to Erik. I threw my whole upper body back and laid on the bed contemplating who I should try calling next. I looked back at my phone and the picture of Terri rolled into sight. I closed my eyes and sighed angrily. Terri and I were really close in the beginning of the year until she flirted with one of my ex boyfriends when I was still dating him.
I picked up the phone and scrolled through the names. I rolled up to Raven’s name, picture, and number and smiled. Raven became a close friend of mine in the beginning of the third week of 7th grade. After that she and I have been close as any friends can get. I clicked on her name and then I looked at her picture. Raven has changed from the last time I took her picture. In the picture she had short bleach blonde hair that went to her shoulders, no makeup on, and she had a ‘Green Day’ shirt with her favorite dark navy blue jacket that had a hood. Now her hair went down to the middle of her back, she wears a bit of makeup, and she has new shirts and a new jacket that she wears all the time. I clicked on call and waited for her voice to greet me.
“Hey you’ve reached Raven you CAN leave your name and number but I’m not going to promise I’ll call you back so yea I guess forget about it.” Raven’s answering machine said. I let out a sigh and threw the phone on my bed in anger. “Why is everybody not answering their phone,” I said. “Because everyone’s still in school,” Erik’s voice replied. I sat straight up and said, “Oh, hello how long have you been standing there.” He shrugged and said, “Well since you called Sasha.” Blood raced up to my face. Erik laughed and walked over to me. “Well, I guess you know then I didn’t come up here to make a call,” I said. Erik shrugged and said, “Yea I could tell from your hurt expression that you probably weren’t up here making a call.” I blushed and said, “Ha well there goes the rest of my dignity.” Erik laughed and I couldn’t help but join in with the laughter.
“So did you decide what you wanted us to eat tonight?” I asked. Erik nodded and said, “Yes but I want it to be a surprise so…I’m going to ask that you trust me when I say that I’m going to need you to close your eyes and let me drive us there.” “Okay I’ll trust you…for now.” I said. Erik and I shared a laugh before he grabbed my hand and started pulling me downstairs. Why do I have to close my eyes? He could just tell me and we could just borrow the car in the garage instead of risking our laughs with this stunt. Why does he care if I’m surprised or not? I shook away all of the question filling my head and just enjoyed the fact that we were hanging out…just the two of us. We walked out of the house and towards his bike he stopped and said, “Okay I’m going to blindfold you now and then I’ll help you onto the motorcycle, okay?” “Okay but if I get hurt some how I’m going to kill you.” I said. Erik brought his hands up in a casual way and said, “Okay.” He pulled out a red and black plaid decorated cloth and tied it around my eyes. Red and black filled my eyes and got brighter from the sun shining on it. I suddenly felt hands on my hips and moving me forward. “Erik please tell me that’s you holding my hips,” I pleaded. A husky laugh sounded and then I could feel a body press closer to my back and someone leaning closer to my ear. “Don’t worry it’s me, trust me,” Erik whispered in my ear.
I smiled slightly and nodded, “Okay go ahead.” Suddenly I could feel the ground disappear and in its place was now the seat of his Harlie. I let out a held back sigh and then felt a body being place behind me. “Erik, what are you doing,” I asked. “I want you to feel safe and I figured if I’m upfront then you won’t now and you won’t grab on to my waist and if I’m back here you can just relax and I can catch you if you try and fall.” He responded. I smiled and said, “Okay.” Silence followed and then the sound of his Harlie being turned on sounded. “Left up you feet a little,” Erik said. I smiled and did as he asked bringing my feet against the sides of the motorcycle. I could feel the Harlie move and I quickly grabbed on to what felt like metal in front of me. I could hear Erik laugh and say, “Babe, calm down I’ve got you.” I let my death grip on the metal drop and I took deep calming breaths. If it weren’t for the fact that I was freaking out right now I would be overjoyed about Erik calling me babe. I put all of my concentration on that fact and tried to get myself to relax which was a fail.
I could feel my heart beat speed up and could feel my breathing coming faster and heavier. I took in a breath and let it out slowly. I could feel the slight breeze that once was speed up and hit my face. I could hear the bike make the sound that told a blinded person on the front of the bike that the maniac driving is getting faster so you better hang on with all your worth. Erik is a good driver…he only got in one crash and he said that after that crash he would never go that fast again…now I’m not so sure if he meant that.
20MINUTESLATER
I could feel the Harlie finally slow to a stop and then I could hear the motors die. “Are we there,” I asked probably for the billionth time. Erik laughed and said, “Yep, I’ll help you get off and then I’ll get us seating and once we are seated I’ll take the blind fold off.” “Okay,” I said. Erik’s hands were on my hips and were lifting me up and moving me. My feet touched the ground and I restrained myself from falling to the ground and saying, “Land! Beautiful land!” Erik’s hand slid into mine (Or so I hoped it was Erik’s hand) and we were moving. “Okay watch out here comes the sidewalk,” Erik said. Where, I thought. His hand disappeared from mine but soon enough I could feel them on my hips lifting me up again as if though I weighed nothing. “Okay you’ve got to be tired from doing that,” I said. “Nah I’m enjoying the workout,” Erik said. Blood raced to my face and I could feel embarrassment wash over me. His hand left my hips once my feet were on the ground and resumed its place in my hand. I heard a bell ring and then the smell of garlic bread and seasoned pasta filled the air. Okay we are either in Olive Garden or we are in some Italian restaurant. “Hello how…may…I…help you? Um…miss are you aware that you have a blind fold on?” A female voice asked. Announce filled me as I said, “No really I thought that it was my sunglasses.” I heard a humph then suddenly Erik was pulling me. I guess the stupid waitress was showing us to our seats. Erik’s hand disappeared from mine and was on my hips pushing me down. When I was finally sitting the red and black plaid blind fold that has been covering my eyes this whole trip was snapped away from my eyes to reveal a nicely decorated restaurant. The table had a red and white square table cloth. There were a ketchup, mustard, and hot sauce containers at the left end of the table near the window and wall. In the middle of the table were two menus and there were red napkins probably containing silverware tied up by a white ribbon. The seats were red leather and we had a nice table that was near an almost private area. The restaurant wasn’t dead but it wasn’t packed it seemed like one of those days were waitresses could take their time and they could get the meals wrong by “accident”. Erik pulled out his seat across from me and said, “So what do you think? Do I know how to pick a restaurant or what?” I smiled at him and said, “I have to say this is a cute little restaurant.” Erik smiled and pulled up his menu so it was in sight and was slowly scanning for what he wanted to eat or maybe what he wanted to drink. I pulled up my menu and began looking at the drinks. Okay I need a drink that has no alcohol and is good with anything and everything… Coca Cola sometimes goes with everything. “I’m going to get Pepsi to drink what about you,” Erik asked. “Probably Coca Cola,” I responded. Erik nodded then looked back down at his menu. I did the same, bringing my attention away from Erik and his perfectly good looks and down to the boring menu with pictures of food that was making me hungry. Let’s see what can I eat, I pondered as I stared down at the menu. There’s Home cooked Lasagna, Momma Mia’s supreme shrimp pasta, and The supreme Italian Pizza. Well, I had pizza yesterday and all though I love pizza I know I couldn’t ever handle the same thing over and over and over again I have to have some quality. So now it was between the pasta and the lasagna. I love pasta but the lasagna sounds good. “Hi sugar I’ll be waiting on your table. So what do you want to drink,” I deep but high pitched female voice asked. “Yea I’d like a Pepsi to drink,” Erik’s voice answered. I looked up to see a big black woman standing near me her midnight black eyes locked on me and a pen and notepad in her hand. She had on a shirt that said, “Momma Mia’s Italian restaurant,” a black apron that had her name on the top right corner, and she had on tight jeans that either she was sucking in to wear or she had a belt that was both keeping her pants up and strangling her to death. “What about you sugar pie,” the woman asked. I starred up at her then back down at my menu trying to remember what I wanted to drink. Damn, I thought, I can’t remember what I wanted to drink. “I believe she wanted a Coca Cola, is that right,” Erik asked looking at me. I nodded dumbstruck for some reason and let him order for me. “Okay, Are you alright sugar pie,” She asked. I nodded, cleared my throat and said, “Yea just lost my voice.” Lie, I thought. The woman nodded, scribbled something down on the notepad and walked off. “Are you really losing your voice,” Erik asked. I shook my head and said, “No I just couldn’t talk for a second there.” Erik laughed at how stupid I was being and said, “Well you probably were surprised by the way she greeted us.” I shook my head and said, “No trust me it’s not that. I get greeted like that by waitresses all the time.” “Do you think it was because she’s black,” He asked. My eyes grew wide and I said, “No, no I’m not like that.” I hope. “Well, anyways um I was thinking that maybe tomorrow we could meet Carter and talk to him about my sister being kidnapped and such,” Erik said. I blushed then said, “That’s impossible.” “Why?” “Well, me and Carter actually met up today at Starbucks to talk about the whole me taking him to court and well he kind of pissed me off so I threw his still extremely hot cup of coffee in his face.” “Wow, that’s kind of hot,” Erik said. I smiled and laughed at his comment.
3HOURSELATER
After we ate and were stuffed to the point of exploding we left the restaurant and returned to the house. Erik pulled us into the driveway, turned the Harlie off, and then got off. Once Erik was off I quickly threw my leg over to the other side of the motorcycle and got off. Dinner was great, well better than great it was perfect. We sat for hours just talking and before we knew it the restaurant was closing and then all the way home we just talked. I found out we had a lot in common. We both hated how people spread rumors just by once glance at a person, we like to watch romantic comedies and sometimes romance, and we both enjoyed drawn it is our main passion. I smiled at Erik and then walked up to the door and right under the porch light. Erik stopped in front of the door and then faced me. "What," I asked. Erik smiled down at me and said, "I'm just starring down at an amazing girl." I looked away quickly and brought my face down so that I was starring down at the concrete and my hair fell around my shoulders the shield my face from Erik's view. Oh my god did he just say what I think he said, I asked myself. I suddenly felt cool fingers under my chin and pulling my face up to look up at Erik. My heart beat sped up and I could feel my breathing coming faster and in sharper gasps. I couldn’t breathe or think when I was or ever am around him. Erik leaned down and I could feel blood race to my face. Erik leaned in closer and with our eyes still locked he kissed me. My eyes slowly closed and as they did I could hear the little voice in the back of my head screaming, "Yes he's finally kissing me!" I've been waiting for this moment for a while now and I've imagined this moment in my head for years and now that it's coming true it's not what I pictured...its better. Erik pulled his face away from mine and I smiled and opened my eyes to see Erik's eyes still right in front of mine. Erik’s hands wrapped around my waist and he pulled me close to his body and then started kissing me again. This can't be happening I've got to be dreaming Erik didn't like me and was in love with Ella. Shut up, I told myself, this is great. I relaxed against his soft touch and started to kiss back. The kiss got hotter and deeper but was ruined thanks to the sound of glass breaking. Wait glass breaking that not usual. We quickly opened the door and saw that the house was completely destroyed and on the counter was a folded up piece of paper. Erik walked past me to the paper while I walked around the room mourning the damages. The white couches where now spotted with dirt and ripped to shreds, the T.V that once was hanging perfectly on the wall was now face down on the floor, and the coffee table in front of once perfect couches was chopped to pieces. I looked over at the kitchen and saw that it wasn't any better of a picture. The cabinet doors were opened and some were missing, glasses were on the floor shattered into millions of pieces, and the dining table and chairs were destroyed also. I looked at Erik whose eyebrows were creased downward and his ocean blue eyes were focused on the paper. "What does it say," I asked. Erik's blue eyes rolled upward to look at me as he said, "It says that this is just a warning of what will happen to you two love birds if you keep looking for who kidnapped Erik's sister." My eyes grew wide and anger filled my every being. “Who has the fucking nerve to tell us what to do and to threaten us,” I yelled out angrily. “I don’t know but we need to find out who and quick,” Erik said. I looked at him both of us thinking the same thing…Carter.


Chapter 6:
My eyes fluttered open and were blinded by the sun that is beating on my face. Last nights events raised through my head. Having dinner with Erik, comming home and kissing, then getting a threatening message that was not only on paper but throughout the house. It was officiall I was not meant to be happy. I remember walking through the house and seeing everything either boken, slashed carelessly on the ground, or where just out of there place. Of course though nothing was just out of its place. I fully sat up and starred around at my horrofying room. My dresser at the end of my bed had its drawers pulled out and dumped everywhere and everything was mixed. My tv was face down on the floor and the wires in the back had been cut. They even missed up my wall, they tore my posters and pictures down, tore them apart, then spray painted whore, bitch, slut, and pussy on my walls. Of course I didn't want to sleep in my room but where else could I sleep. My moms room was accupied by Erik and the only bed left was the guest room and that room was worser than my room. I got off the bed and went into my bathroom. The bathroom was horrible they spray painted slut and a very porn a graphic picture of a dick on my bathroom walls. I sighed and kept my eyes away from the image. I looked in the mirror and sighed at my reflection. My lower back length was up in a pony tail and its every where, my silver blue eyes looked tired and angry, and my pale skin is paler than ever before. I let my hair down and ran a brush through it trying to get a few of the tangles out. After my hair was free of tanlges I pulled out my makeup bag and started applying makeup. I put black eyeliner on, black mascara, and then i carefully did a mixture of colors that in the end looked great. I walked out of the bathroom fully staisfied with my image and walked down staires. As I stepped on the first step on the living room floor I could feel a smile plant itself on my face. Last night the living room was horrible it had couchines thrown carelessly on the ground, the tv on the ground, and of course stay painted words on the walls.

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Tag der Veröffentlichung: 24.01.2011

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This book is dedicated to my family, my friends, and anyone else I know.