Realization

Nevaeh's P.O.V.
Life doesn't frighten me at all, by Maya Angelou
Shadows on the wall
Noises down the hall
Life doesn't frighten me at all

Bad dogs barking loud
Big ghosts in a cloud
Life doesn't frighten me at all

Mean old Mother Goose
Lions on the loose
They don't frighten me at all

Dragons breathing flame
On my counterpane
That doesn't frighten me at all.

I go boo
Make them shoo
I make fun
Way they run
I won't cry
So they fly
I just smile
They go wild

Life doesn't frighten me at all.

Tough guys fight
All alone at night
Life doesn't frighten me at all.

Panthers in the park
Strangers in the dark
No, they don't frighten me at all.

That new classroom where
Boys all pull my hair
(Kissy little girls
With their hair in curls)
They don't frighten me at all.

Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.

I've got a magic charm
That I keep up my sleeve
I can walk the ocean floor
And never have to breathe.

Life doesn't frighten me at all
Not at all
Not at all.

Life doesn't frighten me at all.
Pay very close attention to this poem. It's key to my story. Well, I guess I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Nevaeh, 15, and lives in Oviedo, Florida. You see, since a young age I've always looked at the world a little differently than others. I've known forever to be thankful for whatever I get. I realize how fast something you care about can slip away so quickly and how something so terrible can last for a life time.The thing is knowing that has made me who I am today. It's shaped my body, mind, and spirit. It's also showed me no matter what, that life is always something I'm going to fear.

Shaylin: *yells* Nevaeh, get yo broke ugly ass down here fo' I have to get Mikel to get you and you know what that means.
I sighed and quickly came down stairs. As soon as I came into Shaylin's view her face went up to a sneer. She's ugly enough as it is and making that face doesn't really help her.
Me: Yes, Shaylin.
Shaylin: Look, here slut don't be saying my name like you tired of seeing me. I look better than you hoe.
Me: I'm not a gardening tool for the last time.
Shaylin: itch, what you talkin' 'bout? And don't e correctin' me. I know what I said.
I just stood there waiting for her to finish her little rant so I could find out what she wanted. It took her about an hour before she actually finished and by then I really didn't care what she had to say.
Shaylin: Look, some important people coming ova here to see you and me and Mikel.So get the house lookin' straight and clean yo'self up. We don't need no one sayin' we trash, exspecially these folk. You see these folk rich.
As she continued on I was trying to figure out why in the world would these people want to see me for then. Every time important people come over they always hide me away and tell me to be quiet 'unless I want somethin' bad to happen to me'. Then, I thought about it more.
Me: *whispers* Oh. no.
I just remembered what happened about two months ago what happened when "important people" came over.
(flashback)
Mikel: *shouts* Get yo' ass here bitch!
I rushed to him out of breath. He woke me up from my nap and I was pissed. I hate getting woken up when I'm not ready to.
Me: The cursing is not necessary
Even though I was pissed I should've kept my nouth shut like I know to. The next thing I knew I was on the floor with blood trickling down my forehead and pieces of glass laying next to my face. Gosh, my head is thobbing right now. It feels like in any minute my head is going to rupture into a bloody pool of brain.
Mikel: *yells* Get yo' fat ass up. *leans close to my face* You ain't dead slut.
Once I was up he contined with the unecessary names and slapped me across the face agian, except with his hand.
Mikel: Take yo' clothes off. You're gonna give me and my boys a little dance. *walks up to me and whispers in my ear* You better do a good job. These people got money and been payin' our bils around here. I swear if you don't you gonna wish I would have slit your throat and leat you bleed to death once I'm done wit' you
I shivered not at his cool breath on my skin, but at the coldness and seriousnes of his words. I stood there awhile longer just soaking in what just came out his mouth. I didn't see the look creeping upon Mikel's face until it was too late and I was against the wall with Mikel yanking my pants and underwear off with no escape for me. I tried to fight him off, but it was no use. It never was. Once he had me naked - with me stil pinned against the wall - he grabbed my right breast hard causing me to whimper.
Mikel: Look, if you do a good job, I might leave you alone tonight.
I had a glimpse of hope then. ( I didn't realize to later on that hope shouldn't be in my vocabulary because it will never be there for me.) Five men walked into the room thirty minutes later. Mikel greeted them all friendly. He then turned on the stereo in the corner and glared at me. I knew what that meant. As soon as they sat down I began. [to be continued]
As I was twirling my hips viciously to the song Wet the Bed by Chris Brown I felt hands creep upon my body and grab my behind. I froze. Mikel told me nothing about touching.
Then I heard a growl erupt within the room and look to see where it came from. It was Mikel and a few of the other men angry that I had stopped I guess. The look Mikel gave me made me feel that at any moment he could pull out a gun and fire it right through my forehead.
So I continued and began feeling many hands grope parts of my body that was making me feel very uncomfortable by the milisecond. Then one of the men whispered something in my ear.
Man1: *whispers* You wanna have a lil fun?
I shook my hand no and felt a hand squeeze my breast hard causing me to groan.
Me: Look, I'm just here to dance, nothing else.
Mikel: *shouts* And who told you that? Bitch, you do what I say. You hear?
I know Mikel was being dead serious, then, I was on the floor and being kissed on almost every part of my body. I'm struggling, but it's no use. How come every time I really need some strength in me to pop out of nowhere or something in never seem to be there? It's never there period for me. Anyway, let's end this. I was raped. After I scrubbed my skin until it began to bleed, I began crying my self to sleep. I'm not crying because I'm mad about what happened to me, but because I was literally in so much pain that it made tears come from my eyes. (end of flashback)

Modification

Once Shaylin had told me to get something nice on. I immediately knew what I was going to put on. It's certainly not my first choice if I had to meet some important people, but it's the best I got. I'm the type of girl that loves to where gym shorts, jeans, t-shirts, and tank tops. Anyway, I ended up puting on my one and only dress that is orange and grey.

Shaylin: *sweetly* Can you please come here Nevaeh. Company is here.
Well, dang, then. These people must be VERY important. Shaylin acting like she got manners as if she's proper.I strolled into the living and gasped - for three reasons. First, the people that were in our living room looked like them rich folk you being seeing on the television screen, like them people know Prince William or something. Second, thing I noticed was that the man who came was one of the same exact people that raped me two months ago. When he layed his eyes on me I saw them fill up with lust. Internaly I shivered and released my gaze from his. Thirdly, I just saw the finest boy in my house. He was dressed in a grey suit, had a brush cut and an earring.

Kentavious' P.O.V.
My parents just brought me to this run downed, old, abondon nieghborhood to meet my future wife. She better ne fine as hell, got me marrying this hood rat. When we finally walked into their apartment it was as dirty as I thought. The parents of this girl greeted us and no offense, but they ugly as hell. Oh, hell naw. What my people done got me into? Then, she walked into the room. [to be continued]
I just saw the finest honey in my life right now. Man, she got this long black hair that reach her ass, some nice thick thighs, big as titties, nice smooth, long legs. She looked like a way finer version of Kim Kardashian when she was younger. She came in wearing this -


She seemed kind of worried about something, she must be scared about getting married so young. I mean she what, 20 by the looks of it. Then the man that was standing there the whole time with creepy grin on his face finally spoke.
Man: Nice meeting you again Mr. Deviano. My family and I -
Then the old lady standing next to him made a sound in her throat cutting him off to get his attention.
Mikel: *angry whisper* Shaylin I'm talking here. Plus, I don't see the slut anywhere.
Well, damn then. I better not be getting no disease from her. As Mikel and the old lady continued arguring the chick stepped forward more loudly than necessary to get some attention her way.
Old Lady: Look, the slut's finally here.
Mikel shoved her a little and giving her a look I suppose telling her to watch it.
Mikel: Well, introduce yourself dumbass.
That's when the old lady gave him a look. When the girl didn't speak I watched him pinch her rather hardly on the arm and she cringed. For some reason, I not sure why, but I wanted to tear this Mikel guy limb from limb. I held in this urge though. You see on the outside I'm calm, cool, and collected.
Chick: I'm Nevaeh.
Me: *whispers* Damn.
I melted there on the spot. Neaveh was the only one that had heard me. As we met each others gazes I realized she has the oddest eyes I have ever seen before. One eye is like the purest, sweetest milk chocolate. The other is golden. Then Mikel just had to ruin the moment.
Mikel: Okay, Shaylin already packed your stuff Now, you can leave.
Nevaeh: Wait, where am I going?
Old Lady: Slut, I'm getting tired of seeing your lazy, ugly, fat ass in my house. Hood rat please get out!
Then the old lady grabbed her bag - which was a very small book bag that look like the only thing it could whole in there is one notebook - and through it out the door and pushed her out also. My mother and I were the only ones staring wide eye. My father just had a hard expression. This time I growled out loud and everyone stared at me - my mother with with the most frightened and terrified expression.
My father: Honey, get him out of here and helped the girl to the car.
I got even angrier because he called her "the girl" instead of by her name. My mother obeyed him as usual and my mother, Nevaeh, and myself got in the car, well, limousine. We waited for about twenty minutes before my father got in the car and told the driver where to take us. I'm sitting next to Nevaeh and I can feel her heat coming off of her body. The car ride was silent the whole three hours. We reached our destination, well, Nevaeh and I atleast - my place.

I helped Nevaeh out of the car and she quickly let my hand go. I shut the door behind us and she looked back at it afraid. She still followed me though to my home. I unlocked the door and walked up to our room. I dropped her stuff on our bed and told her I'd be downstairs if she wanted to find me. I wanted to give her some time to herself.
An hour later I heard footsteps. Then I felt the couch go down slightly and looked over to my left to see Nevaeh sitting down playing with her hands. Eventually I felt her scooch a little closer to me and lay her head back while still playing with her fingers.
Me: You okay?
She just shook her head yes. Oh, no. She's the shy type. Well, she scooted over near me, so that means at least she'll give me a chance.
Me: So how old are you?
Nevaeh: *whispers* Fifteen.
Me: You're what?
Nevaeh: *whispers* Fifteen, is there a problem?
Me: Yeah, you're fifteen. Look, here. I'm twenty-six. I'm not getting arrested for rape.
That's when Nevaeh got the most confused look on her face, then scared. Nevaeh said something very low and I couldn't hear her.
Me: What you said?
Nevaeh: Just get over with it already. I mean aren't you going to do the same thing your dad did to me? You're such a freak. I mean at least the rest of them didn't take me anywhere. I mean, what, are you trying to make me feel special or something?! I mean what you going to kill me after you finish off with me?! You might as well do it now, because I'm tired of this. I'm completely tired of you filthy ass men going around thinking you can do whatever you want to me just because you're stronger than me!
I don't exactly know how to respond to what she just said.
Me: Why would I do anything to hurt you? I mean you're my soon to be wife. Wait, and what you think I'm going to do to you?
Nevaeh: Wait, we getting married?
Me: Yeah.
Nevaeh: Since when?
Me: Since the day you were born. Your parents never told you about this?
Nevaeh: I've only been living with them for the past three years, so what you mean since birth?
Me: Oh, what the hell has my father gotten me into? Wait a minute, what the hell what you going off about?
Nevaeh: That's not important right now. Just make sure you keep your father away from me.And make sure you don't hurt me. Anyway, when we getting married. When?
Me: In two months. July, 28 - my birthday.
Nevaeh: Please, tell me you didn't come up with the date yourself.
Me: No, my mom did. I kept trying to get her to change, but she wouldn't. She kept saying 'don't you want your special day to be on a special day?'
Nevaeh: Okay, then.
Me: So you okay with getting married to someone you don't know?
Nevaeh: To tell you the truth, just between us, being dead would've been better then staying with those people you rescued me from. So, even if you're not okay with marrying me, I'm greatful to be marrying you. I mean you're cute, so that's a plus.

Beginning To Finally Breath

Kentavious' P.O.V.
Nevaeh's been at my place for about three weeks now. I thought it was going to be hard for Nevaeh to open up to me, but it was no issue at all for her, except for somethings like her childhood. That's a touchy subject for her like a few other things. For example, she won't change in front of me. I'm mean come on, we getting married you better get use to showing some skin around me.
I did discover some stuff very interesting stuff though about her. I learned when that old lady and that man kicked her out the only thing in there were some bras and panties and a tank top. I totally had to take her shopping. Sadly enough my soon to be wife cannot dress at all. She was just picking up random clothes, preferably loose clothes like t-shirts and sweat pants. I'm so gonna have to get my homeboy's girl Hanneshia to help her pick out some sexy shit to wear.
Right now we're both in the kitchen and Nevaeh's making lunch. She might can't dress, but she sholl can cook though. She might be cuban, but she cook like a black woman though. She cook better than my grandma - don't tell her I said that though, she'd kill me, then want to do some big cook off against Nevaeh and I really don't want to go through that. (I mean I would get to eat a whole bunch of good food, but naw. My mom would get mad at me and my pops would blame me for starting it. She set our plates down with bacon, eggs, toast, tomatoes, waffles, and biscuits with grape jelly - that smuckers!
As we were eating I slid my hand on her thigh. She pushed it away immediatedly. I waited until I finished my bacon and slid my hand back upon her thigh. She removed it again. I didn't it once more and this time she didn't remove it; she just sighed.
Me: What's wrong?
Nevaeh: I'm just not comfortable being touched like that.That's all.
Me: Sorry, I didn't know. Well, my mom's coming to help you get ready.
Nevaeh: Wanna feel me in at all?
Me: I didn't tell you?
Nevaeh: No, not really.
Me: Oh, yeah well, we're having our engagement party today.
Nevaeh: Engagement party? Why?
Me: It's just what we do.Well, go freshen up she'll be here in about twenty minutes.
Nevaeh: Already did. You're the one that needs to go freshen up. I'll be on the couch watching a movie waiting on you okay?
Nevaeh's P.O.V.
Kentavious was right. His mother did come in exactly twenty minutes with about ten other people.
Me: Hello, Mrs.Deviano and everyone else.
We all greeted each other and went up to my and Kentavious' room. As we entered Kentavious walked out of the bathroom in just a towel wrapped around his waist and a whole bunch of steam coming out from the bathroom just emphasized the sexiness rolling off of his body and into the room. I mean really why can't he just share his finess with th rest of the world. I mean he can't just keep that sexiness all to himself. Now, that's just being selfish.
Kentavious: Oh, my bad ladies. I didn't know y'all were in here.
The whole time he was speaking I was looking at his abs. I mean really.
Me: One, two, three, four...
Mrs. Deviano: What are you counting sweety?
Me: Oh, nothing. *blushes hard*
Does he really have to have a ten pack. I mean is that even humanly possible. Must be. Naw, he got to be hiding something from me to be that in shape. Anyway, Kentavious went over to the dresser and pulled out some boxers and a t-shirt. Then he walked out of the room with the towel beginning to fall off of his waist. Damn, that boy sexy. Mrs. Deviano had to wake me out of my day dreaming and get down to business. The ten people that came with Mrs. Deviano surrounded me and began stripping me.
No, this can't be happening again. What my dumb foster parents sent me here to be even more abused. I was wrong though. They didn't really want to hurt me. They just wanted me to be their little dress up doll. When they finished they blind folded me, then I heard the door open. After about two minutes I felt someone rest their hands on my shoulder. I froze and waited for their next move. They moved me over and made me stand in front of something.
When I opened my eyes I was standing in front of a mirror, but it didn't look like me. It didn't feel like me. I felt as if I was looking at a complete stranger with the same eyes as me. As I stared more closely I began to notice slight similarities. I saw the same slightly bent nose in the middle and I saw the beauty make right above my lip still there. Looks like the perfectionists missed one spot.
Then I felt Kentavious' squeeze my shoulders gently and turn his head away to say something to the others, so we could be left alone I assume. I sighed and turned around to face him. When I did he was biting his lip and looking at me funny. Then as I gazed more closely into his eyes I became frightened. I realized immediately that I've seen that look before. I've seen that expression in so many men - and females. I know those lustful eyes anywhere. I watched as Kentavious advanced toward me and as soon as he was at least a foot away and stepped out of his way and pretended like I dropped something on the floor. I bent squatted down to the ground and pretended to look for something and pick it up. When I stood upright and stared and my fiancé he looked frustrated. And as soon as I was about to ask what's wrong he walked out of the room. Then at that moment I knew what was wrong - me.

Something New and Something Blue

Nevaeh's P.O.V.
When we arrived at the party it seemed as over three hundred people were there. I was forced to meet at least a fourth of them. There were violins and harps being played. It was a rather lovely event - I mean if you're into those overly expensive events with the balloon headed people with nothing better to do than waste away in their riches. Anyway, Kentavious, his family, and myself were seated at the largest, longest table that was there even though there was only five of us. Oh, did I forget to mention I finally got to meet his grandmother and she is a rather lovely woman with an odd since of humor. It seems to me as if she doesn't fit into this high class alternate universe. I wish I could've grew up with her, visit her home during the summer for a month and embracing her strong smell of lavender and oranges, with a slight scent of peppermint.
After about an hour and a half Mrs. Deviano clanged her knife against her glass. Only a few turned around. When Mrs. Deviano stretched her eyes wide at Mr. Deviano I watched him clench his jaw and bang his fist on the table twice, then stand up and clear his throat. Then everyone payed attention to the front of the room.
Mr. Deviano: Well, everyone we ove to thank you for coming out to help us celebrate this blithe event. My wife and myself are so jovial that our dear son has found a bride. Now, we would like you to meet the couple of the hour, Kentavious and Nevaeh.
Everyone cheered at this announcement and Kentavious pulled me up to my feet along with him to smile at the crowd. Kentavious spoke to his audience, then afterwards asked me if I wanted to say anything. I told him no, but then he wrapped his arms around my waist and bent over and kiss me on my cheek, but really did it to whisper in my ear. So I ended up saying, " Hello," not that loudly though.
Eventually the party ended and we all went back home, but we can't forget all the pictures taken by the paparazzi. When Kent and I got home he basically ran up stairs - away from me. I slowly followed and when I got to our room he already had changed his clothes and was about to leave the room, but then I spoke.
Me: Can you unzip me first, before you run out of here?
He grimaced at me.
Kentavious: I wasn't going to run.
Me: Well, it sure seemed like it.
Kentavious didn't respond to my comment and I couldn't blame him. As soon as he unzipped me I expected him to just leave, but instead I felt his fingertips crawl across my upper back raising the hairs on my skin making me shiver. Then he ever so gently pushed the rest of my dress off of my shoulders (to be continued)

Impressum

Texte: Just don't steal my book.
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 27.11.2011

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Widmung:
For everyone.This book has a part for everyone.