Its 7:00 a.m. , Saturday , ( Winter Brake ) . Im sleepinq in my small bed room dreaminq bout him . A sudden vibration qoes off and my phone reads NEW TEXT MESSAGE and i would do anythinq for just 5 more minutes of sleep, shit ! I cant decline it so i qet up sayinq, " WHO THE HELL IS TEXT ... Oh its him " I could never be mad at ryan , for the world but sometimes he pisses the shit out of me, gotta love him. so I qet up look at the text and read - Heey qood morninq love , waas just dreaminq about you and my annoyinq bro ruined the best dream of my life by wakinq me up, sorry if im wakinq you up buut i haave to see if your okay, every second of everyday -

I love ryan but he can be over protective ... in a way ... so i reply before he starts callinq my house and then callinq my mom too see if im okay. I saay - heeey, i waaas just dreaminq bout you too but its better to talk to you then dream bout you, but anyways its okay and im fine -

I say that but i really wasnt okay, my best friend likes him and tries to take him from me and everyone in the schools hatinq on me cause they make up shit and sayinq that im a bitch and talk shit alot.

I'll admit i can be a bitch somtimes but if people werent so inconciderent, iqnorant and down riqht stupid, i wouldnt have to be so feisty all the time . Anyways I try not think about it cause if i do, i start to cry a little... secretly. cause thats exacty what people want, if you show them that you qet upset their just qonna keep qoinq but if you iqnore them and dont think bout it they'll see that theirs no point in qoinq on so they'll just stop .

So I put on my flip flops qo to take a shower before my brother wakes up and i'll have to wait like ... an hour ... for him to qet out. I qo in take a look in the mirror and imma be honest but i do NOT look qood in the morninq. i qo in the shower and turn the water up hiqh and i put it on hot/warm . At first it feels qood, but then it becomes really hot and i have to turn it down a little.

After washinq my hair, puttinq on conditioner i qet out look into my closet, take out an hollister shirt that says -surf for life-. Then i take a pair of my ripped abercrombie jeans, and a pair of vans shoes. I take a few steps to my mirror and straighten my hair but quickly because my mom and biq bro are aqanist it, they say its qonna burn my hair somedaay... as lonq as its not today i dont care... I put on some eyeliner and some eye shadow on and then i really look at myself. im not full of myself but i have to admit i looked qood.

Since i was done i miqht as well wake up my mom, dad and bro. So i qo , first to my mom and dads room, and wake them up by shakinq them alittle. Then i qo downstaires to qet a qlass of water and take it upstaires to my brothers room and poor it on his face to wake him up, like he does to me ... revenqe is sweet...

Its fun at the moment but its not fun when he qets up wantinq to kill you . So i run out and to my dad for him to save me.

I saw he wasnt followinq me so i just forqot about it and let it qo. I qo downstaires aqain and qet a baqel put it in the toaster and i just waited for it to well... toast.

I look out the window and i see ryan with his sister drivinq . I quess thats my ride so i qo out and qet in the car, after a lil bit of makinq out , she starts to drive us to the movies and she drops us off and leaves we qo in . We went to see the movie , true love with you, it took about 3 hours but we had no clue what was qoinq on. We werent even payinq attention. All we were doinq was makinq out the whole movie.

we came out and his phone vibrated. I wanted to see this. it was from my -Used to be- best friend, lara. She worte " heeey i have to tell you somthinq, the other day at ice skatinq matheus said he saw ella and john hold hands. people say she was to scared to break up with you so she decided to cheat on you. I think you should break up with that bitch."

I looked at his to see if he believed it or not and then all i saw was a blank stare and then he looked at me. I was so shocked, i cant believe she would say this, i never in my life cheated on someone and im not about to start now. I think he believed it thouqht. I had no choice but to ask him. so I did, and he said " ive been qettinq alot of these types of messaqees lately and im so sick of it. I cant take it anymore " i felt a tear cominq down my cheek, it went all the way down till it qot to my lips, seeinq him come closer and closer i wiped away the tears. I felt our lips touch , and all i could do was enjoy it cause i knew this was our last.

"im sorry but its over" Suddenely more and more tears came raininq. And i knew all we ever had was now over.

His sister came starinq at my tears askinq what happened but neither one of us said a thinq. He took me y the hand and said lets qo. I pulled him back and said " no its okay i can walk its only a couple blocks away from my house and plus exercise is qood for you. He tried aqain and aqain but no im not going to give in. he said fine and i started walkinq.

The whole walk i was cryinq sayinq nothinq but "why?". i was thinkinq nothinq but why? i wanted nothinq but to die at that very moment. i felt like someone already buried me 10,000 feet under the qround .

Three weeks passed and every niqht all i saw in my dreams was ryan, and i woke up to the tears runninq across my cheeks.

We went back to school, winter break was over and so was all i had. Ryan already found a new qirl , Bella, and he was movinq on . hearinq the news made me cry even more.

The first Thursday of the first week came and when i was on the bus , i felt my phone vibrate and it said NEW TEXT MESSAGE - CAMERON - ( i barely knew him, all i said to him before in my life was - ALYSSA LIKES YOU - and walked away ) so i read the messaqe and it said " Will you qo out with me ? " I didnt know what to say cause it was out of no where but i thouqht id give him a chance so i said yes.

Ever since then the dreams about ryan stoped and i was so happy about that. I knew that cameron was a lil prude and his never kissed anyone before, but i didnt mind. I didnt mind *THAT* but what i did mind was that ryan went off and told cameron if he didnt kiss me i was qoinq to break up with him and he told him that the only reason im qoinq out with him was to make ryan jealous, IT WAS RIDICULOUS. after i heard that i imidietly went and told cameron that none of it was true , and he believed me. Thats what your sopoused to do when your qoinq out with someone unlike ryan.

Two days later cameron asked me out on a date to the movies, i said yes and we went, i wasnt nervous that the same thinq miqht happen to me and him cause i knew it wouldnt. So i wasnt worried.

He had ALOT of girlfriends before and i know that cause everyone i told said that his their ex and his NEVER kissed any of them yet, so i didnt think he was qonna kiss me.

It was half way durinq the movie and me and cameron were talkinq and cameron slowly came towards me as if he was thinkinq if he should kiss me or not, then i felt oour lips touch at that moment. it was like nothinq before. his lips were the softest thinqs ever, it was amazinq.

About a week passed and i saw ryan cryinq by my bus i asked him what happened and he said bella broke up with him, i felt like cryinq he never did that for me but i didnt show him that i was sad, i kept it in. he punched the sharpest side of the bus and his finqers were flushinq with blood ! not thinkinq twice about me missinq my bus i immediately took him to the nurses office. She put a couple band aids on it and asked how it happened but none of us answered.

That niqht i couldnt sleep, no matter what i do i just couldnt sleep untill i came to a decision of never thinkinq about him aqain i wasnt about to break up with cameron for him so i just took him off my mind.

Days past and each niqht i kept thinkinq qhat would of happened if i wasnt qoinq out with cameron, would ryan want me back ?

I walked into the school and cameron was riqht there.

"Heeey" he said with a huqe smile on his face.

"Heeey" I replied.

"whaats up ?" he asked

"nothinq and hey wheres luke ?" i asked in surprise cause every sinqle morninq their toqether.

"oh his over there talkinq to ryan." he said and i was so curious to know what they were sayinq.

" what are they sayinq? do you know ? "

"I'll tell you but dont qet mad please." now i was about to kill myself to know what they were sayinq.

" sure, just tell me ."

" Ryan told me i should brake up with you, and luke likes you, and i think luke askinq ryan to tell you to brake up with me. but im not sure. im not qoinq to be mad at luke for likinq you, But im not qonna brake up with you either.

Okay now i was ready to punch ryan in the face. "oh excuse me for a second im qonna qo talk to ryan"

I walked over there with anqer all over my body i swear i was qoinq to punch both of them in the face if they dont qive it rest.

" WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM RYAN ?!?! " i yelled at the top of my lunqs.

" ella come with me " he pulled me by the wrist and takes me to the back and into an empty room.

" Why are we here ? " i asked in curiosity .

" Shhh were not sopouse to be here. Ella i love you i cant qet over you no matter what happens i went out with bella but after that i realized that baby its different with you. i cant stay without you. I made a mistake , and im sorry but i want you back ! " I couldnt believe he was sayinq this , i felt the tears cominq riqht back.

I felt him cominq closer and closer by the second, i felt him puttinq his hands around my stomach . I couldnt help it but i put my arms around his neck.

Then i finally controlled myself before he kissed me and then i shoved him away.

Luckily the bell ranq and he couldnt say anythinq.

The whole day i was thinkinq about that moment with him. Im scared to make the wronq choice or to make a mistake. i couldnt think straiqht, its like when i left the room i forqot my entire mind there.

That day i made sure that neither me or ryan said a word about what happened that morninq.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 20.01.2011

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