Chapter One

Truth is I've sat through alot of crap in my life. Most would call me damaged, I would call it surviving personally. I didn't have a good up bringing, my life was a little like Cinderella minus the once good mother. She was just born unable to care for anyone but herself. I sighed sadly and rolled over in the cot. Probably wondering what I'm doing in a cot right? Well you see that's what you call them in the police station... I guess I should explain right.

 

I lay on the rock hard 'cot' and sighed again thinking back to a party that started this whole mess. A popular guy called  Teddy (don't ask me about his choice of nick names I didn't choose it) decided it would be good to experiment on drugs and take a swim. Considering he od'd in the water I didn't think it was one... People ran screaming as he started having a fit in the water.

 

I stupidly jumped in and dragged him out before he drowned. I lay him on the floor and turned him on his side and into the recovery position. Where he quickly threw up his breakfast. Considering he nearly died no one was around.  After he finished throwing up I got him unsteadily to his feet and found an empty room with a couple free couches and a tv, the game room. I sighed and led him on the couch and went in search of a bathroom, I quickly found one the house was filthy and small. Ot was a stupid grimy party that wasn't even really happening anymore. It was around three in the morning.

 

I sighed and remember back to my boyfriend. He'd told me he'd break up with me if i didn't sleep with him, at the time I was half drunk so reluctantly agreed after he called me names for an hour strait. That was a week ago now, yesterday he broke up with me. I sighed what a way to loose your virginity, right. It was horrid awkward and the worst moment of life. I asked him to stop three times, he only grunted in response and carried on. It was horrible. I got out of the car and walked home after that.

 

I sighed looking into the mirror, raccoon eyed wasn't a look I pulled off. My long blond hair was a drying mess. Luckily for me it dried straight. In the winter it got darker but in the summer it was coloured with orban, blond and brown high lights. It reached my just under my brests. I had blue and red in it currently.

I look around for some ibuprofen and a bottle of water, and quickly find them. Checking the water bottle is sealed. Sighing that I was even here in the first place I make my way back to the gaming / living room and find the guy away and slightly worried looking. I pass him the bottle and take the pain killers myself, someone who just od'd don't need that right now.

 

What's you're name?' I asked him. 'Teddy.' He gave me that duh look that a typical bad boy gives a blond chick when there five foot three. I might be small but I'm not dumb, my little nose and ears make me look younger than I actually am. My double d boobs say otherwise, I'm nine stone and have some annoying curves that my ex seemed to like. Teddy looked my up and down accessing me, not completely sexually. 'Any dizziness or disorientation? Numbness?' I ask folding my arms over my soaked tee-shirt. It was a dark purple that matched my grey stone washed jeans, added to my grey doc martins I thought I looked okay. 'Na I'm okay...' He trailed off brushing his hand through his dark brown hair, his slightly crooked nose had a small blue hoop through that matched the one on the left and right side of his gotten lip.

 

 

He had stretches in both sides of his ears. 'So I guess I owe you...' He trailed off, I shrugged and scratched my wrist where I had ' I was born to make mistakes, not fake perfection' tattooed there eairler. My mother was constantly too drunk to realise it was my third, I had a heart on my hand and a dream catcher on my thy. She didn't even know I had ten ear piercings, sickly enough I enjoyed the pain.

 

'Hey wait your the chick. You know the one that jack ass jack constantly cheated on and broke up with.' Instantly my expression froze and I clenched my jaw. I shrugged and left, I had sixform tomorrow anyway.

 

Teddy eventually found out he pissed me off when I avoided him all through school the next day, he'd shout and I'd put my headphones in. Everyone thought we had hooked up, at that point though I couldn't give less of a dam. I was so busy working  late nights at the bar I had little concentration for rumers.

 

A week later Jack caught up with me, calling me a slut and saying I moved on quick I laughed in his face, he slammed me into the locker behind me and aimed a punch at my face, turning to the side it only caught the side of my face. Jack wasn't big but right then I'd never seen a person bigger. That was until Teddy grabbed Jacks shoulder turned him around and punched him in the stomach.

 

This however sweet didn't help my case, by the end of the day I was the whore of the school being shoved and shunned by all. A period later and I was sat in health and social bored out of my mind. Some mindless dweeb complaing about me loudly I turned around and not so politely told her to 'shut her mouth or I'd do it for her.' The bleach blond blushed and others snickered

 

I hadn't really cared about my popularity previous Jack and I still didn't now, I just wasn't  a loud angry. I finally had enough when I was shoved in the changing room, I turned around and punched the bitch, her friend quickly jumped to the rescue and pulled my hair. The effort was so funny I laughed and walked away.

 

I found Teddy lounging by my beat up four by four. I smiles slightly and rolled my eyes at his efforts, he was relentless. 'Hows your hand?' I asked unlocking my car, he shrugged and got out a cigarette after offering me one he put the pack in his pocket. I waited till he lit mine before jumping up on my seat , 'hows your cheek?' He asked sounding angry. I shrugged and felt the already swollen cheek, my lip was a little split but it wasn't too bad. Smoking actually hurt my face believe it or not. 'Want a lift?' I asked to which he shrugged and jumped into the other side of my truck.

 

I turned my engine on and a loud cord from a new rock song I liked flooded on and instantly we both began singing along. I chucked and pulled out of the parking lot. Driving past a very pissed off looking Jack. I didn't actually feel bad instead I cackled evilly and drove away, when I asked where to drive he game me step by step directions.

 

Strangely enough we didn't pull up infront of a house but a gym, he later told me it was his older brothers and that he owed me. With a dumb found expression I followed him inside. In that very building our friendship grew he taught me to fight. I would train every day before work it was better than hanging in our filthy smoke clogged apartment.

 

Rocky starts

 

I suppose this is really where my story starts. A month after the party and I could honestly call Teddy my best friend. At first I was wary, scares he was sort of some big joke. And then all of a sudden I dreaded the days he was absent, you see the thing we had in common was that much like my mother, his older brother was a drunk. His legal guardian. Both weeks from turning eighteen and wanting to leave. He came to my house with a bloody lip once, that night I slept in the same bed as him and pretended to be asleep as he cried. I never mentioned it, not even when he came back with a black eye or bruised muscles.

 

My mother was a horrid drunk we had both seen it, her screaming and throwing things but she never hit me. And she would always tell me how sorry she was, she would cry and call me baby whilst hugging me close.

I usually snuck out when she got truly bad and escaped to Teddy's house or the gym. The amount of nights we spent on cold mats makes me smile in found memory. That was until I began puking in the mornings. I didn't tell anyone not even Teddy, he noticed it though. My increased food need, the more I slept. He didn't say a word.

 

He did stop sparing with me though, told me it was getting old. Instead we began running on the treadmill. He didn't mention my need to keep fit. Not untill a few weeks later he found me crumpled in the bathroom crying over a pregnancy test. 'And the sex wasn't even worth it.' He muttered causing me to snort, hiccup and laugh all at once. He smiled softly and told me to get a scan booked as soon as I could. Under an unspoken agreement neither of us mentioned it to either of our families. After Teddy's eighteenth he didn't move away claming the homes were cheaper if he lived with someone he knew. I smiled and left home instantly, almost two months pregnant I quit sixth form and began working fulltime.

 

I argued with Teddy when he wanted to do the same. He just told me it was a pile of wank anyway. Being sick was horrible, every morning. But every time I got up Teddy did too, when ever someone taunted me in the cafe we both worked at the walked away with their tail between there legs.

 

I wish I could tell you it was because he adored, no loved me. But that would be a lie. There was no love there not in the mommy and daddy sence, he was my brother. No one came inches of me without him knowing. He was my saviour, but he always told everyone that was me.

 

At six months every thing hurt. The being sick slowed down but wasn't completely gone, the craving was the worst. Making me want to wat sickening things. Teddy watched me dip my toast in my caffeine free coffee with the most amusing smile. 'What?' I asked smiling after a quick chuckle at his expression. 'You don't smile much anymore. It's just nice to see you happy.' I snorted and quickly answered with 'Who are you and what have you done with my dearest friend teddy?' I asked. He jumped up off the second had couch, which might I add was surprisingly clean - I hated cleaning really but I felt the constant urge, he always said I was nesting - and pounced at me. Tickling me until I screeched and screamed about needing to pee.

 

It was meer hours after this that I wanted  no begged we went for a walk. At two thirty in the morning it was the most stupid idea I had ever had. He finally gave in and we wrapped in worn out coats, scarvs and hats. He held my hand trying to lead me away from the forest which I led us right into.

 

As soon as I began singing softly he walked grudgingly behind me. I became louder the further we went into the forest. I will forever regret this night because it wasn't anything human that we met in that forest.

 

 

I will never be more sorry...

 

All of a sudden the forest was dark, cold and dingy. It didn't feel welcoming at all. Every branch and rock seemed to want me to tumble. My aching body fell to the floor after almost tripping for the fith time. I put my arms out infront of me and caught myself. My baby was safe, sighing I stood up and dusted myself off. My palms were a bloody mess, I turned to look at Teddy, he was staring off into the distance looking worried.

 

And then I heard it. The crack of a branch and heavy breathing. It wasn't human breathing it was was the deeper, wetter sound of an animal. Heavy and enchanting it echoed all around us I couldn't tell where the sound was coming from. The night was silent, the only sound was the approaching animal and our own very much quieter breathing. It was so quiet around us my own heart beat echoed in my ears. I snorted at how silly this was, but still I looked around searching and found nothing.

 

Sighing I breathed deeply only to inhale the smell of a deep rotting mould, the clouds chose that very moment to move away from the clouds blanketing its shine. Mere footsteps away from us stood a deep black coat. Fur? Yes it must be, the coat growled flashing yellowing teeth. The animal too another step forward, I could now see the deep green and black colours mixing. It was a wolf? Moss and mouldpartially covered its fur masking the deep black coat. The smell was horrendous, the animal stood there waiting.

 

I didn't move a muscle, 'Don't be scared, I am right here.' Teddy whispered to me seconds before the clouds once again covered the moon up. I'd never been more afraid of the dark. Something brushed my angle and I screamed terrified. I was going to die.

 

I gripped teddy's hand and found something grip down on my ankle, something began dragging me away. I screamed again terrified, the taste of fear was thick in the back of my throat - sickening. The teeth clamped down harder in anger this time. It threw his head left and right tearing into the boot, his teeth drew blood but it wasn't enough for the monster.

 

He let go and crawled up my body, his rancid breath puffing out inches from my face. His feet were beside me, suddenly his head went down. He began smelling my stomach before wracking his claws across my abdomen. I screamed in fury, in honor but mostly fear.

 

'Scarlet?' Teddy shouted, his tone questioning and searching. He began to shout my name again but this time it was cut off with a scream and a sickly crunch. A wet sound filled my ears, ripping. The worst images filled my mind. I didn't want to scream for help, I didn't want to breathe. I stood up and moved away from the sound he could be back any second. I scrambled up from my pathetic ball and crawled to a tree, putting all my weight on my arms and legs I pushed myself up. It took what seemed like hours for me to stumble from one tree to another. I head something behind me, a deep snarling sound and scrambled quicker avoiding trees instead of walking to them.

 

I soon found myself free of the forest and screamed for help. A young couple stopped next to me looking terrified, my clothes were torn and bloody. My hands were wet with blood and covered in dirt. My eyes reflected a madness, that insane gleam. I collapsed onto the floor and waited for the lights to follow the sound. Two officers jumped out of a police car and two medics out of the ambulance. The checked me over as I screamed about beats and my best friend.

I was quickly sedated.  

 

 

Bleep me to sleep

 

I woke up to an annoying bleeping sound. I tried to lift my right arm to turn off the bleeping but it must have been tangled up with the sheets or something. Sighing I blinked only to be blinded by the most annoying luminous lights. Did I fall asleep in the living room and forget to pull the curtains closed? 'Teddy' I murmered searching for him with closed eyes, where was that fool? I thought with a hint of sisterly love. The bleeping was still sounding, now that I thought about it, it was going the same pace as my heart. I tried to sit up and found I couldn't. The bleeping, much like my heart sped up. What was going on?

 

The smell of death hit my nose making me gag, what was that smell? I thought with disgust. Sighing I slowly opened my eyes again. The white walls around me were a stark, plain white. Terrified I found one of those in distress button things you only get in hospital. Flashes from last night were plaguing my thoughts. When no one came I sighed and closed my eyes, teeth flashed before my eyes and I screamed.

 

I gulped in air only to scream it back out. Hospital staff rushed in looking confused and a little scared. My whole body began shaking, I accidently closed my eyes and I could hear it, the crushing of bones and ripping of flesh. 'Teddy' I screamed, I pulled what appeared to be an IV from my arm the hole in my wrist bled slowly. I screamed again 'No more blood, no more blood.' I kept seeing him in my mind, his greasy fur, mould riddled and patchy. I don't know when I started to call it a he, it just happened but some how it worked. I began screaming for Teddy again, i couldn't even see what was happening around me. I could smell the death, the fear and misery of this place. Some how i knew he was dead, i knew Teddy wasn't here anymore.

 

In that very same breath my hands flew to my stomach, it was still. Empty of life. I began screaming again. I eventually stopped screaming after the doctor came in and with a stern voice told me to 'Stop.' I did looking at him with large eyes. 'We need to get your child out of your stomach before he begins to rot inside of you. Giving birth to a dead child is mot easy and I know you've  been through enough but we need to start getting better now.' He told me with an impassionate voice, devoid of emotion. I thought right then, that's what I wanted to be. I no longer enter to hurt, I looked into his brown eyes and nodded. I hardly remember the drugs they gave me. I don't know if they were for pain or for induced labour. Remember the hours of pain, my whole body shook with the force of it. I screamed again and again. Sweat covered my brow, I promised to myself as tears freely fell down my face that this would be the last time I cried.

 

I wanted a nasty new side of me. I wanted to be left alone, I wanted to die inside alone. The took my baby away without a word to me. He was dead, like Teddy, like me. They tried to get me to eat, they tried to get me to talk but I didn't want any of it. My life was over why would I care? Nothing was left for me anymore. Six months I didn't want a child, but I also wasn't living. My mind was flashes of my tiny beautiful boy, to the monster that killed him.

 

They asked for my emergency contact, I immediately thought of Teddy and wanted to cry again. Eventually they found my mother, but drunk as she was she was little or no help to them. The male unfeeling Dr was back again. Snapping his fingers to gain my attention, I snarled at him my voice rough and incapable of being used after much missuse. He clicked his fingers infront of my face, the sharp sound making me blink and focus on him. 'I know you've been through some shit. But its time to get up now, in a weeks time well remove the stiches from your stomach. Your ankle will need some work but I have the perfect place for you. Its a community of survivors, people who've been through shit and survived. Rogues mostly, but I believe they'll be able to help you far better than your mother or anyone here in this hospital. I've got your mother to pack your things, your leaving tomorrow. Now eat or ill put you on the drip again.' He informed me, I blinked angrily but nodded. He was right no one could help me. I don't do pitty so its time to go...

 

 

New beginnings

      

I led in bed not sleeping, mostly just feeling self pitty. If I wanted to go to the toilet I had to use a wheelchair or get assistance. I wasn't aloud to stand on my own yet, my baby bump was disappearing day by day. It just looked like belly fat now, the doctor said it would go soon. I didn't carry full term so I didn't get as big as I was going to.

 

I sat and stared out the window watching the light raise. Some time during the night my mother totally intoxicated walked, stumbled, into my room stinking of jack Daniels. I sighed as she giggled and tripped landing on my bed. 'Why didn't you tell mummy bear you were pregnant?' She asked pouting, I remained silent she doesn't know I don't talk yet. I tried eairler to say thankyou, it was almost a knee jerk reaction and found I couldn't utter a word. I half smiled sadly in thinks.

 

'You killed my grandson. Your a shit mother.' She giggled and hiccuped. 'Shitter than I ever was.' She continued looking happy, guilty conscience. 'Your a selfish kid you know. Always have been, you didn't need to murder two people to get attention Scarlet.' She told me spitting my name. 'Do me a favour and die. You should have been dead not them.' She told me flinging a stanly knife at me. I almost laughed. Well on a good day, she's clearly charming as fuck. I shoved the knife into my bag, who knew it could come in handy. I hid it in my socks as soon as she left.

 

Which she did alittle after her little yell, did she not understand I was immune to her? Yes my sons death was my fault, as was Teddy's but I didn't purposely kill them. No apparently asking your kid to die was what she did to get off. It made me feel sick, I sat there with a passive face staring out the window not uttering a sound.

 

I am broken.

 

A smiling nurse came into my room a little while, she watched me eat half my food before asking if I was done. Her platinum dyed hair made me queezy, it didn't smell right. I held my breath as she helped me change into a pair of black skinny jeans, a tight dark green thermal tee shirt I used to run in and a black tee-shirt with a ying and yang symbol in the middle. I didn't have many clothes, they all fit into a duffel bag. Sad really.

 

I was sat in a wheelchair, my legs had began shaking madly, and pushed down into a elevator. The silence was deathening. I wanted to put my hands to my ears and scream, but that wouldn't help me get out of this place now would it. The smell of death followed us into the violently loud lobby. I was place into a black British taxi and driven away. I didn't speak to the driver, I didn't want to. He put my wheelchair away and left me alone to drive. I pulled my phone out of my bag along with a pair of head phones and ignored the all to loud world.

 

We drove out of the small town back into my smaller one, we followed the forest further than I had ever before. Searching for an even more secluded place. The country side was creepy, it was old. Cars were trucks, no new stores, no McDonalds, no Primark and taking my headphones off no sound. Instantly I liked it here. He pulled up at a gas station, I got out the car and walked into the garage. I did my business and on wobbly feet grabbed a diet coke. Paying for it was nice the cashier didn't speak to me filling the silence with unnecessary babble.

I nearly fell twice on the walk back but I made it, the impassive driver was waiting patiently in his car facing forward. Half an hour later we were out of the small town and in the forest again. He stopped at what looked like a long drive way and turned. I sat up and looked around, the gate was old and rusted. He talked to someone on the intercom, I think he told them my name - immediately the gates began creeping open. Creepily enough the rust coated gates were silent. The bushes surrounding the building wernt trimmed but left to from freely.

 

The drive up the driveway took about five minuets, the stones under the wheels were driving me crazy. I was seconds away from screaming in frustration before the house came into view.  The imprint of plants growing up the wall was marked in black, the trees looked dull instead of green. Suddenly the clouds opened up and began raining fiercely on me, the teens quietly doing gardening work screamed and ran into the house. My eyes followed the old style bricks of the house, they were an off white grey-ish colour. The windows were huge, the whole place was huge and eerie. I stood and watched at the driver unpacked my bag and handed me crutches, they hurt my side but the pain calmed me.

 

I looked straight up and saw a big semi-circle of a room, the paint was peeling but I could  see the piano from here, my fingers twitched with anticipation. It looked like an old dance studio, my eyes followed the window until I was nearly at the old wooden door, it suddenly flew open to reveal a very pissed off guy wearing all back minus his red fingerless gloves, I looked into his eyes and saw nothing, the were a steal grey colour, the grey in his eyes looked like fractured glass fit together odly with different shades of blue and green, they revealed little other than the obvious anger.

 

He shoved passed me gently, making sure I didn't fall over before sprinting out into the rain, my eyes followed his dark head, his almost black hair looked darker in the rain. The stubble on his strong jaw, his cheekbones. He looked as broken as I.

 

'Logan get back here!' An elderly woman shouted looking exhausted, she paused sliding in the door way, the floor being wet causing her to slide into me. With an 'omph' I fell to my knees one crutch in the air and the other infront of me, my white knuckled hand holding it tightly.

 

I struggled to my feet, and walked in the door way she left open forme, she grabbed the bag off the taxi guy after paying him. I nodded my thanks and followed her into what looked like a cost room. Coats, shoes and other outside equitment was strewn hazidly across the room.  'Becuse of your predicament we decided it would be easier setting you into one of the down stairs rooms, you'll be the only one down her minus the nurses office but they mostly stick to their office, staff lounge or kitechen.' She informened me as I wobbly removed my shoes. Nodding my understanding followed her out of the room, she led me into what she called the front lounge, it was all creams and pastal colours. The cream couches smelled of cleaning products. I scrunched up my nose and looked at the reasonably sized tv, there was a cabinet full of movies and magazine.

 

Across the hall was a lengthy kitchen, it had a door which she told me led to the dining room. She kitchen was clean and tidy. There was a teenager girl with long brown hair peeling potatoes the woman greeted her as Samantha 'how many times Nikki its Sam' the girl huffed and smiled at me. I tried to smile back but it wasn't very convincing. Sam looked at me with understanding, her black ripped jeans and white top covered with a leather jacket screamed leave me alone. Next she led me to a downstairs bathroom, it was small, clean and had a small shower I knew id be using. Next she led me to the edge of the next room across from the tv room and bathroom 'this is the laundry room, each resident has a turn at cooking, cleaning and doing laundry.' she told me, next she led me to an old plain room, it was an office with a younger version of herself smiling at me. Her blond hair matched what appeared to be her mothers grey hair, same nose and light blue eyes.

 

'I'm resident nurse here, if you have any questions or need a chat come to me.' She told me before I nodded and walked to the next room. The corridor finished and the only room faced the back of the house. The room was wider than it was long, the big window seat and window facing the forest made up for it  though. The bed was a little away from the door, facing the window. It was a double far to big for me, with wardrobe next to the window, it was full of black uniform similar to Logans. Nikki said her farewell and informed me that I would be called for dinner in an hour, I threw my bag next to my bed and threw myself down on it. Ignoring the big, full length mirror on the wardrobe.

 

I couldn't stand to see myself yet, instead I pushed my crutches off my bed and curled into a ball and slept.

 

Second encounters

 

I uncurled myself wondering what woke me, my hands subconsciously going straight to my stomach. I sat up in utter amazement, it was smaller again somehow, that's when the pain started. It began like a whole body ache, my stomach felt empty and numb no that's the wrong word - hollow. My back almost burned, my arms and legs felt heavy, my head pounded to an imaginary beat. And my heart, it felt like someone was splitting it apart, ripping it in two for their own enjoyment. I felt nothing but bitter and angry, the silence of sleep quickly broken, shattered much like myself.

 

It was  fully dark now, I could see the trees swaying like monsters in the short distance. I almost cackled at the thought of it, I stoped my laugh when I realised I was doing it silently. I began wondering if the monster had taken my voicebox away too...

 

What a theory , I thought to myself. Looking at the clock I saw it was 1 am, I tried to go back to sleep but the hollowness in my stomach kept me awake. Sighing I sat up and grabbed a single crutch not wanting to make too much noise. I walked silently down to the kitchen, looking under the office door no light was on, sighing I continued walking. The whole place was eerily silent minus the click, click, click and almost silent thud of my foot and crutch.

 

I walked into the plain, clean kitchen not really paying attention when the smell of cooked meat made my stomach growl, it was so loud I thought it would wake someone up. Sighing, smell deeply and follow the smell of meat to the microwave, on a plate are three hamburgers. I pulled the plate out and hopped up on the side, looking in the side above me I found brown sauce, I almost smiled as i squirted the source on the bun and brought it up to my mouth, my stomach grumbled again.

 

A chuckle reached my ears and my head shot up, standing in the doorway was the guy from eairler he was much taller than me six foot something to my five three, next to him stood a smiling blond boy of around sixteen maybe - he had braces, dimples and big earphones around his neck. 'Hey I'm Jack green, this is Austin Logan.' He told me smiling with dimples, I smiled crookedly and pushed the plate towards them, my stomach growled again and I glared at my burger before taking a bite. 'So your the new girl huh, Scarlett?' He asked grabbing the plate and offering Austin the second one. I nodded before jumping off the side and landing on one foot, it was care minus all the wrapping around it.

 

'Its rude to ignore people.' Austin Logan told me grumbling with distaste, I blushed and stared down at the floor. 'Its okay I don't mind listening to my voice every once in a while, there had to be someone with something smart to  say don't you think?' He asked with a cute little smile, I chuckled silently and he watched my reaction with great interest. 'Your a mute aren't you?' He whispered with wonder I ducked my head again and shrugged truthfully I didn't know what I was.

 

I didn't want to stand here and pretend I was normal, a black expression came over my face, I nodded to the boys before leaving the room still eating my food. This time I threw my clothes off and slept in just my shirt and boxers, the sheets were cold but soft. Soon I found myself sleeping again.

 

The wake up call

huh 

Noise was bustling all around me, making an incredible ruckus. I could hear the stomping of feet all around me, alarms and feet running downstairs in an almost distressed manner. I quickly sat up, ran over to my black closet and threw on a plain black tee shirt that fit all to well for my liking, A pair of three courter length jogging bottoms, a baggy black jumper from my own personal stash of clothing and a pair of lace up boots.

 

I looked for other shoes or  trousers but there was only different styles of jogging bottoms and work out tee-shirts. What kind of place is this? I wondered to myself. Sighing I sat down on my bed and laced up my shoes, reading the note someone had stuck onto the mirror in 'my' room. It read 'RULES.

 

STAY IN ROOM FROM 10PM TO 6AM, ANYONE CAUGHT OUTSIDE THESE HOURS WILL BE SENT TO THE WALL.

 

MEET AT TRAINING GROUND AT 6.30 AM, ANYONE NOT THERE AT 6.31 WILL REFER TO THE WALL.

 

NO VIOLENCE OUTSIDE OF CLASS, REFER TO WALL.

NO TARDINESS OR RUDENESS, PERSONAL AND JOINT ROOMS MUST BE KEPT CLEAN.

 

KEEP YOUR NOSE CLEAN, DON'T BE FOUND IN ANOTHER'S ROOM AFTER 10PM OR BEFORE 6AM.

 

IF YOU ARE UNSURE SEE TRAINER AND REFER TO WALL.'

 

 Should I refer to wall now? I asked myself with a snort, well isn't this cheery. Underneath the letter a watch was celotaped underneath. I put it on and saw it my heart rate, I walked and it beeped at me - half a calorie burned, ohh fun. My watch began beeping again - the time flashed, quarter past six probably want to get a move on. I thought to myself sighing, didn't want to find out what this so called wall was.

 

I exited my room to find around ten people running down the stairs at the same time, in response I raised an eyebrow and continued walking, in the dining room I found three rows of breakfast bars, and two rows of water bottles. Everyone grabbed two or three bars and a bottle each, doing the same I followed their lead.

 

I quickly ate the two bars I grabbed, (one nutty with apricots covered in yogurt, the other strawberry filling, the first was much nicer)I washed them down with water and pulled my long knotty hair into a high pony tail. 'Quickly!' A short girl shouted, she was around five two much like me, dark brown hair and light blue eyes. She started jogging from the house, I quickly ran up to her and panted, I hadn't ran anywhere in a long time. She was leading us into the trees somewhere, the was a well worn path that around fifteen people followed none of us looking over the age of twenty.

 

'Should you be joining us?' She asked nodding to my ankle and nearly tripping, my hand quickly shot out and caught her arm stopping her from falling. I shrugged in response, still not wanting to voice my opinion, truth be told the stiffness in my ankle from yesterday was almost completely gone, I felt a twinge here and there but for the most part it just made me concentrate all the more.

 

'Fair enough, I wouldn't want to be locked up all day in that house either. I should have told everyone to be quieter, I heard you just got out the hospital.' She talked alot, I liked it she didn't really expect me to answer which was a plus. I smiled and nodded my head, 'I remember my first day after the attack I was terrified. No one told me what was going on, but just remember we've all been through it and where still here, you will be too.' I nodded again looking at the still dark forest around me, my heard beat was speeding ahead of feet, almost like a race but it was winning. My throat constricted, and breath shortened, strangely having nothing to do with the running and more to do with the fire fear coursing through my veins.

 

I looked down and up, looking at the flat well worn path and back up to the trees surrounding me  I could be ambushed on any and every side. I closed my eyes and listened, using the sound of pounding feet around me to portray where I was going. I couldn't hear anything other than our feet. I breathed in deeply but found nothing weird hitting my senses. I read somewhere that having one sense stripped away from you left the others fighting to be better, forcing you to survive.

 

My heart calmed its frantic beat, dying down until it copied the pounding of feet. That's when I realised, we were completely I'm sync, every one of our foot falls. It annoyed me, angered the living day out of me, I wasn't a part of this group I immediately began running to a different beat. One that didn't sound like theirs. I felt no pull to fit in, no bone deep need. It suited me just fine, I never was one of those people who fit in just to belong.

 

When the others realised what I had done many of them cringed visibly, but didn't break their own running pattern. Logan however ran to my side, looked down at me and grinned before speading off ahead of all the rest. I wanted to join him but knew my beaten body couldn't manage it. 

 

All in a days training

 

I felt the cool breeze float through fallen tresses of hair, watched them out of the corner of my eyes as they floated carelessly. I looked around and watched as the lowly hanging branches swayed in the current of wind, the leaves dancing and falling lifeless to the floor. My eyes followed a bright green leaf to the floor, feeling sorrow for the newly grown leaf I watches as it landed on the brown ground. Only to see the small life growing underneath.

 

Energy never dies, it transforms into an out her form and lives on. That thought alone allowed me to keep moving and not fall prisoner to my grief. I felt like I had suddenly awoken from a dream, like I wasn't living, not really I hadn't noticed anything before, I saw a tree not the deeply indented wood, rough and different shades. The ground lumps of decaying life sustaining new life, the sweat rolling down the back of the short girls neck. I didn't notice things before now, I wasn't preoccupied by speaking. I could finally see what was around me...

 

The birds cawing above my head, I turned and looked up at them, finding I could pin point every single one of them even running as I was. I wondered what I'd see if I actually stood still, what wonders had I been missing all these years?

 

The tall grass now came up past my shins, swiping past each student only to land on another, the shushing sound it made was beautiful . The lose bark and stones rolled under my small feet only to be crushed by another.

 

I couldn't believe how alive the forest was. In the time I had been assessing the word around me I hadn't realized we came to a large clearing, in the middle stood a burley man six foot six maybe, a dark mustache coloring his upper lip, a dark green vest top showed of his massive arms, his green military wear trousers screamed army. His posture screamed don't fuck with me, I was inclined not to. The clearing was dimly lit but that didn't mean I missed the 'wall' he leaned against. On it was written the alphabet, next to the alphabet was numbers and the name of an exercise.

 

The wall was an L shape, forming a shelter but the top part of the roof was only made for the bar drilled into the ceiling for pull ups. There was around four bricks missing at the bottom, two across two up, a gap to put your feet so no one had to spot you for sit ups. The wall its self was for hand stand push ups or exercises like that.

 

All I could think was, what the actual fuck had I gotten myself into...

 

'NAMES!' the man screamed at us, the students began doing excersies that were branded on the wall. Each letter in the alphabet had an excersie next to it. Each person was only doing one, but I knew the number was flexible, very flexible.

 

After doing an excersie they would scream our their letter. I sighed and looked at the board. Here we go I thought to myself.

 

S - Spider lunge.

C - Burpie

A - Front kick

R - Side lunge

L - Cross crunch

E - Lunge

T - Jump squat.

 

Everyone had finishes before me, but I felt okay my ankle and stomach burned with a fierceness I didn't know pain could posses. I landed with my arms in front of me after my jump squat, the day was already heating up I was regretting the jumper I was wearing, I didn't take it off I didn't want people knowing I had been pregnant it was my only weak spot. Wearing a jumper would help me sweat more anyway.

 

'Warm up is over. So I my leniency, I want Russian twists. REAL ones this time. Down, twist both ways and down.' I quickly sat on the floor doing a sit up and twisting as I hit the top. The sun shone in my eyes blinding me, the hard floor made me grateful of my extra padding even if I was swearing already.

 

'Up, to the floor. Twist you got it! Up, down, twist. Better. Again.' His echoed again deafened me, he walked up and down the line watching us, my stomached burned already but I refused to give in. Pain helped, it would help me get better.

 

He walked down the isle again correcting people 'burpies. Jump all the way up.' His voice was stern holding slight sarcasm. 'TUCK YOUR KNEES IN!' He screamed, his voice made me shiver and I jumped higher stretched my knees out further and got up quicker. He stood in front of me for a full minuet before nodding and moving on. I grinned flicking hair off my face, I couldn't help but be proud.

 

'Pushups and no I'm not sexist you will all do a full press up not the pansy ass version.' He walked passed me again, 'ass down, arms further apart, back straight.' He told me not looking, more expecting. I pushed my arms further apart, pushed all the way up and down. Ass down. 'Better.' He called. He called us to a stop after a few minuets. 'Stretch, partner up.' He shouted, I bent down touching my toes and smiling it had been soon long since I could. It was a sad lost smile but all the same, he would always be in my heart.

 

I pulled one knee up into my stomach holding it there and balancing and then repeating the process. I crossed my arm just under my chin and pushed with my other arm, I felt warm and ready for anything. Bring on the next milestone, I thought to myself drinking some of my water with a wirey smile covering my lips. I can and will do this, I thought to myself with fierce determination.

 

The kid from last night, jack... Green walked over to me smiling softly flashing the soft blue of his braces, 'want to partner up?' He asked, I shrugged still not knowing what we were going to do anyway. 'Don't even think about it jack, she's mine.' Alyce told me strutting over looking refreshed not gross and sweaty. I smiled at her and shrugged I didn't mind who trained me. Jack, Alyce together. New girl with Logan.' The trainer yelled, not voicing his opinion. Logan stood of to the side not really looking at anyone in particular, he sighed before walking over to me. My only wish was that the boy with the dark aura could teach me what ever it was I was suppose to learn.

Heal me

 

Silently we began our so called training, basically he would throw a punch I would try to block it using the different techniques he taught me. Ever punch he landed I remained silent, I felt the quick whiplash of the pain and then the dull numbing pain that came after but didn't voice my opinion on it.

 

As he threw yet another punch at my face, I took a step to the side bringing up the front of my arm pushing his own arm up and breaking his guard. I stood fearlessly awaiting his next move. He became angrier and angrier at my lack of expression, throwing harder and quicker punches. Not once however did I hit back. He landed yet another on the side of my jaw, this one made my eyes water. I smiled got back up and resumed training.

 

'What is wrong with you!' He screamed at me, I cocked my head not understanding 'you don't react you don't fight back!' He shouted at me again, all those around us remained still silently so. I shrugged unsure of his problem I looked at the trainer finding him waking towards us. 'After you block I want you to go on the defence. Do any combo you cab even kick him. You've learned to block now fight back.' Something boiling entered my veins, the heat spread through out me with each passing hit I felt it gathering and now I could unleash it.

 

Sighing Logan got back into place, this time throwing a punch at my abdomen. This time I used my wrist to block, turner my hand and. Grabbed his wrist in my hand I pulled him towards me and punched him with my right hand. It was the stronger of the two, he brought up his knee and kneed me in the stomach, I doubled over let go with my left hand and punched his open stomach and then stepped back a step blocking again.

 

Something deep inside me screamed survive, survive, survive. It was like a beat of the drum, one that I was living too. 'Halt. Very good Scarlet, again.'

 

He kept us fighting for another hour before he called lunch. I grinned, I was bruised but low on energy. We began running again, back to the house. I ran out of beat, even here I didn't fit in. I was okay with it though. 'You've lasted alot longer than most of us did. The first days tough, bets are you wont make it through weapons training. I think you will though.' Jack told me smiling confidently, I wondered how long the break was I was hungry it was boiling and I ran out of water half an hour ago. I looked at my watch, it took us half an hour to get up, eat breakfast and get there two hours training and a ten minuet run back - it was ten past nine. Alyce cause me looking at my watch 'the break ends at ten fifty minuets to eat, freshen up, digest and get there.' It would be silly to run on a full stomach, as you exercise you don't digest your food it just sits in your stomach.

 

We all entered the house, feet clattering randomly now as people rushed up stairs or to the bathroom. I walked into the dining room and picked up a bowl of pesto and pasta, broccoli - peppers and spinach was in it too. I ate the small amount quickly and grabbed a bottle of the pink coloured water. It tasted strange but I drank it all immediately. Alyce sat beside me speaking to people I didn't know, I tapped her only shoulder looked down at the bottle and raised my eyes brow. 'What's in it?' She asked understanding me I nodded and smiled again. It felt fake, I wasn't a happy smile I wasn't happy. 'No one knows really, we don't ever make lunch but I'm guessing energy tablets, vitamins you know healthy shit protein and all that.' She finished and drank all of hers too. I could already feel the energy spreading through my veins, I didn't know what was in it but I wanted more.

 

Instead though the nurse pointed at me and asked me to follow her, I got up sighing and followed her into her office / diagnosing room. She asked me to take off my tee shirt and shoe, I did so looking at the masses of bandages around my stomach, she unwound it slowly revealing four gruesome looking claw marks starting from directally under my left ribs to my right pubic / hip bone almost. They looked deep and the stitches looked irritated slightly but they looked to be a week or so old. Not days, I wanted to ask again how long had I been under? But once again couldn't.

 

She put some ointment on them and left them bandages less this time, my ankle had small cuts all over it, shallow and some deep. It was covered in small stitches and butter fly stitches. This one however looked much further healed. She got a pair of scissors and pulled the stitches taunt before cutting them and pulling them out. The feeling was strange my skin was actually attached to the material. It took some tugging and sharp pain. She finally got them free, I looked at my tee-shirt stomach as she began twisting my ankle testing its strength ect. My stomach was smaller yet again, less fat there. You could still see some of the low lying fat but with a tee-shirt and jumper you would have never of known.

 

She handed me another bottle of  the coppery tasting drink, this one looked more red than pink thought, higher concentration vitamins? I thought, I shrugged the idea off as she bandaged my foot again and put my sock on. I quickly changed again and walked back to the dining room. People were still lazing around chatting, I sighed and walked out into the front yard and took a seat out on the grass basking in the sun sipping my drink as the aching of my muscles lessened.

War games

I slowly led down and covered my face from the brightly shining sun, I liked the feeling of the warmth but it hurt my eyes a little. I sighed before placing my arm above my head, a little while later people began steadily coming out of the house, I jumped to my feet and jogged after Alyce who was once again in the front, she smiled when i caught her up a couple minuets later. We were jogging in the completely opposite direction this time, it wasn't long before a short long building came into sight it looked more like a warehouse than a cottage or anything, straight tin roof - simple white bricks. It looked as cold as the house though not as well maintained.

 

One by one students took their shoes off before entering, I untied my boots and did the same. The flooring looked more expensive than all of the materials used to make the whole place, it was dingy and long florescent lights hung down from long chains. Balls and all sorts of things were caught up there you know like throwing knives, arrow heads... I think I spotted a spear too.

 

Along the plain white walls stood all kinds of weapons, from two handed long swords, to tiny little blades, arrows, simple hand guns... You know the normal kind of shit you expect well no where. I thought to my self with irony.

 

A woman entered with three quarter length black khaki pants, the material bunched just below her knees. But that's not what caught my eyes, the hand gun on her thigh and the leather sword at her back did... Funny the weapons in the room didn't scare me but she gave me something to be afraid of.

 

She was a small woman, you could see obvious muscle on her arms and calves but she walked like she knew what she was doing. I looked around the room again as I finished my drink, there was dummy's in the corner hole riddled, punching bags in another targets smack bang in the middle part of the end of the room and nothing else in the two corners next to it.

 

Along the walls either side of the large room was a rock wall on one side and ropes on the other, survive kit next to the rope side, I think you were suppose to make your own wall up. The ropes were different lengths meaning you had to switch between the to get to the top. I so wanted to try that.

 

'Line up. Todays throwing practice, three groups go!' She didn't speak loud like the other trainer but she was listener to none the less, I went in the last line somewhere in the middle. Everytime someone three the five knives passed to them she would correct their technique. Everyone acted like we were in a normal p.e class where the teacher amended your  basketball throwing skills. What the hell was this place.

 

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't realise I was up next. Shit. I've never done anything like this I'm my life. A stranger who went before me passed me the knives, I held one and placed the others on the table beside me. Awaiting for the first and second group to go first. When it came to my turn I breathed in slowly, held my breath and let it out as I threw the oddly well weighted knife. I started with it near my chin, flicked my wrist and watched as it hit low down on the board.

 

She nodded and I prepared to throw another, this time i didn't flick my wrist down as much but pulled my wrist as far as it could go back before throwing it forward. This time it went in the last circle. I sighed and picked up another. This time I move so I'm standing to the side and bring the thin knife up above my shoulder before whipping it forward. This time it goes in the middle circle. I grin, I picked up the final two knives and us the same technique, both also falling in the smaller circle. Now all I had to focus on was getting the filled in circle the bullseye.

 

'Ever thrown knives before?' She asked me with a raised eye brow, I shook my head 'shot a gun?' She asked again, again I shook my head 'archery?' She asked, that I nodded too. 'Well at least we can start somewhere with you.' I smiled before waking to the back of the room.

 

We all threw five times and completed the whole group throwing twice before she spilt the three groups up. Guns on the first, archery second and knife throwing last. Two more teachers walked in, one female short and blond the other a male tall and blond. They both had the same long pointy nose, sharp jaw and green eyes. Twins maybe? They took the gun and archery people outside

 

She again split us into three different groups, I was in the first. The next hour was fun, I really got the knack of knife throwing. The twist of the arm and upper body, tensing of the abdomen I was sad when it was over. The teacher walked over to me, 'when your finished with todays classes come back here and train some more?' She asking with a gentle smile, I nodded excitedly before turning to see the others walking back into the room. The twins walked in looking tall and imposing.

 

'Were going to play a game of capture the flag.' He told us with a deadpan voice, was this a strategy class? I thought to myself. He split the group in half, I found myself pairs up with Jack and six other people I didn't know. I counted sixteen of us now that I was here, eight on each team.

 

I was with the tall blond guy, whilst Alyce and Logan were with the woman. I was left only with jack for a familiar face. Though he appeared to be the youngest in our group. A tall red head was offered the flag, she was wearing really short shorts and a tank top that left little to the imagination. Her slim body was tanned. She gripped the dirty flag with obvious distaste.

 

'Five minuets. Go!' The tall blond boomed,the red head rolled her eyes and began jogging out into the forest. Once we got outside she took off in a direction we hadn't been in before. 'Any ideas?' She asked the eight of us and sighed when no one spoke up, I searched around and heard the sound  of water, I tapped jack on the shoulder which was easy because we were around the same size. I mimicked swimming, he grinned 'Beth, Scarlet thinks we should hide it in the lake.' He told her, 'how do you know she doesn't speak.' She snarled but headed towards the sound of running water.

 

The trees grew more vibrant the  closer we came to the lake, even the undergrowth was greener. The lake was long but no trees came close enough to hide it. One over hung the water but I didn't really hide the flag. 'Where are we suppose to hide it smart ass? Fucking newbees think they know everything.' She snarled looking at her bright red nails. I mimicked swimming again, this time held my nose. 'Oh! I get it you want a bath cause you smell!' She cackled and passed me the flag before pushing me in the water. I sighed but swam to a little island in the lake and placed the flag amount the over grown reeds. With the waters gross green look covering it, it almost looked green and fit in perfectally. I grinned before diving back into the gross water and began my swim back to shore. I couldn't see anyone there but heard people coming. I quickly sped up, the cold water making me want to stop and just lie still. My muscles burned and the air made my lungs burn.

 

I could hear them coming so I ducked under the overhanging tree, holding my breath so I wouldn't breathe to loudly. 'Shut up Logan you don't know everything!' Alyce half shouted and shoved him away from her, he growled in response and shoved her back. She quickly got into a fighting stance as the others filled in around them.

 

'Don't respond to him A. We picked you as leader not him.' A short sweet girl said, her brown hair was free and easily reached her tiny hips, she had little pouty lips and a innocence that shone, the groups baby I suppose.

 

'Shut up midget.' He told the small girl with a smile and a little shove, she was the peace keeper too then. They all began running again going left, after what appeared to be my groups footsteps - leading them away I suppose.

 

I sighed before gripping onto the tree and pulling myself up, the water clung to me not wanting to let me go. 'Jack?' I called out in a half whisper, he jumped down from a tree on the edge of the forest - he was directly above them the whole time. I laughed silently as he jogged over to me and climbed up the tree that hung down, the water was too deep to just climb up the bank. He grabbed onto my hand and heaved as I pushed. Eventually I flew out of the water almost landing on the kid. He groaned now now he too was covered in water.

 

'What next?' I mouthed, 'well Beth and the others have run off and are making little hidey holes so they go on a goose chance while we stay here and guard.' He whispered jogging back to the tree line, where he grabbed a bunch of dirt and pointed at a stick with dead leaves on it for me to grab, I did and followed him confused. He scattered the dirt and I used the branch to scatter it, he then took of his dark shirt and used it to wipe the extra water off the tree, it didn't really help but maybe it would dry quicker. His chest was small, pale and boney I quickly looked away not wanting to suspected of checking out a kid.

 

Once again we jogged back to the tree line, this time using the branch to hide out footsteps in the loose mud, we went three trees in before he found one he liked. It was almost a ladder it was that well built, the tall tree was an oak tree. The branches grew in random spaces searching the sun. It was easy to climb and the branches were far enough apart for a person to rest comfortably in. It hid us well but the sun still shone down on me, I grinned this tree was ace.

 

I looked at jack and pointed at my stomach and then my watch he chuckled quietly 'me too, twelve I'm afraid. Another hour.' I nodded, and looked around again. Everything was beautiful up here, smaller and delicate I watched as birds fed baby birds, as fish swam lazily to the top and sun bathed. Eventually the tree dried no longer showing any evidence of our passing.

 

Another ten minuets and I heard them coming again, Alyce was talking to the little girl 'I don't understand why he's so mean to you A. He's perfectally nice to me.' She told her in a apologetic tone sounding sad. 'Your his baby sister of course he's going to like you, Rose.' She replied with a chuckle, she took the little girls hand and they walked away happily.

 

Soon we heard a loud whistle, Jack scrambled down and sprinted to the water front. I cussed mentally and jumped down next to him. I dived into the water before he could, I was already stinky anyway. The swim took a couple minuets and I could already see people gathering at the tree by where Jack was. He pointed off to the side and I dived under doing as he said. I swam much further left and didn't come up for air until I reached the bank. The water was murky and hid me easily, my eyes burned and lungs screamed to me but I swam until I found the ledge.

 

I didn't have anyone to pull me up this time, they were all scrambling over to where I was. I pulled my self up and sprinted into the forest not caring about my water trail, I used to run track before my pregnancy I could do this.

 

I ran in a straight line hoping it would lead me to the warehouse, it didn't. I burst through the forest at the back of the house. Cursing mentally again I crouched down and hugged the tree line looking for where we entered last time. I found a well used track and heard the others breaking through the undergrowth, I put on a new bit of speed happier than ever that the shack was really close to the house. Beth was waiting next to the blond man, by the looks of it trying to chat him up. I could see Rose and jack running towards me a little further back and heard Logan and Alyce sprinting up behind me.

 

I gulped down air, forgot about my wet squelchy shoes, clothes and hair and ran harder. My legs burned from the lactic acid build up, my eyes teared from the run and wiped lake grossness of my face and threw the flag at his feet.

 

Beth jumped up and down 'I told you I would win' she said to him blushing slightly. He rolled his eyes and handed me a water bottle full of the same reddish coppery tasting thing as before. 'The lake? Well played new girl.' He rumbled at me, his accent making his words sound exotic I nodded and looked at the time, lunch time! 'Well as your team won Beth' he smirked she he said your 'you can pass up on chores today, Alyce your team are cooking dinner.' He called out before jogging back to the house, I jogged after him breathing heavily but keeping pace, I took my boots off in the first room and carried them to my room, I grabbed a new tee-shirt, and new jogging bottoms this time without the jumper it was far too hot now. I grabbed a towl, clean underware and walked into the bathroom next to my room.

 

I locked the door and turned around to turn the shower on, catching a glimpse of my reflection made me want to fall on the floor with laughter. My hair looked green all over, mud caked it to my face. I looked like a freaking drowned rat. I turned the shower on and unclothed myself, jumping in felt amazing. The water flew freely down my back, the drain drank the brown looking water thirstily bits of solid mud, seeds, leaves and twigs all clogged up the drain.

 

I brushed my fingers through my hair and pulled out the bubble more forren objects fell freely from my slick unbound hair. I grabbed some orange smelling shampoo and finger brushed it though my hair and across my still grimy looking body, my ankle and stomach stung but I was used to the uncomfortable feeling there now. When I was cleaner I massaged conditioner into my scalp and grabbed a razor out of the wash bag with my name on it.

I shaved  my legs, armpits and where ever else I deemed necessary, my smooth legs felt amazing. I brushed my teeth and then stepped back under the flowing water. Rinsing my hair out before jumping out feeling much cleaner. I quickly changed and took my gross clothes out of the room and placed them in a washing basket in my room.

 

I then cleaned the bathroom and walked into the dining room as I twirled my hair into a bun and tucked I under the hair to keep it secure. It would fall loose as it dried, people were already sat at tables, two were partly taken up so I sat on the third not knowing any of the people there. Mostly though I heard clatter from the kitchen.

 

At each table stood six seats, making eighteen places - I don't suppose the staff sit with us then. Sandwiches were handed out on plates, yet again the drinks were handed to us, I had already finished my last one so took anther, strangely this  one was less red like the one I had grabbed at the snacking time - maybe the ones the teachers gave me were stronger. I Wondered why...

Unanswered questions

 

Voices clattered all around me, as was my usual response though I didn't answer. All the noise was giving me a headache, the pounding began behind my eyes as my vision blurred grey and black. Dizziness and nausea kept me in place, I had already eaten but I didn't want to throw up my body needed all the energy it could get right now.

 

I laid my head on my arms until we were called to attention apparently our next 'lesson' was to be held in the dining room, it being the only one large enough to hold us all. The woman from before, the one with the twin brother stood before us. She began a lecture on first aid, how to wrap a bandage we were even given some to play with as she spoke. She then turned to cpr, the recovery position and how to stop someone from choking.

 

Her lesson was highly entertaining, lunch had been an hour and a half long therefore it was half two when she finished her lecture. Tomorrow we were discussing the difference between arterial, vein and capillary cuts, she even hinted that we would be talking about torques - the dangers, splits and even fractures and breaks.

 

Next we jogged to the place the burley man from this morning, he was once again standing next to the L shaped building. He called names and we all quickly complied, this time I was much quicker. He told us to get back into our groups, now we were point scoring.

 

I stood opposite Logan, completely still, he looked angry - his fierce mood hanging around him like a dark cloud.  The sun was still heavily beating down upon us, draining me of my already lacking energy. I held my arms up in a defensive position and awaited the onslaught, I didn't have to wait long. He charged at me with a low kick aiming for my shins, I jumped over the leg and rammed my shoulder into his abdomen. I kneeled above him placing my knees om the muscles at his biceps, he cursed softly unable to reach me, I banged my hand against the floor asking him to tap he refused and brought his legs up trying to entrap me. I leaned further over his body, he tried to buckle and finally managed to free one of his arms, he pushed his hips forward making me instinctively take my weight up, not wanting to touch more of this guy then I had to, his hand grabbed my waist and pushed me under him. His knees were at my sides and his arms pinned mine, I rolled to the side pushing at his elbow before turning around and pushing him with all of my weight he rolled us so he led underneath me facing the back of my head.

 

He had be in a headlock, pushing my arms up towards my throat, I pushed down and slid down and forced my arms apart. I quickly sat up and elbowed him in the stomach he grunted and I used the second to jump up and take a step back whilst turning around. It was four when we finished our training, yet again sweat covered we jogged back. When I couldn't get out of a headlock he would show me how, like how he locked his ankles around mine and crossed my arms cutting of my air and I couldn't move. Answer move closer and then throw yourself forward and role.

 

We were told that todays lessons had ended and we were free to do as we wished or do our chores, I didn't have any so set off for the training warehouse, no one was in there so I walked over to the first table and saw the knives set out for me.

 

I worked on my throwing techniques, using all my cores muscles to twist or flick a body part. It was all about angles, distances and timing. I tried an up-close shot and found it much harder, the knife would rebound.

I threw the knife in the air and caught the flat handle, the only difference was not he point at one end and the hole in the other. They fit together like pages of a book making they easy to hold. Two hours ticked easily by, I found aiming for smaller targets was easier - instead of aiming for a whole circle I aimed for a certain part or line - it made it easer to see how far I missed or how close I came.

 

You'd think throwing a knife for two hours would be boring but to be perfectally honest the time flew by, the whole place had no windows so I couldn't tell when the sun slowly dropped. I was seeing how far I could walk away from the target and still get it in the inner circle. The one they called the bulls eye - of course I couldn't get more than one knife in it so I aimed for the lines themselves. Getting the one above the bullseye and the one above that until i reached the outer circle. I practiced at a certain distance until the knives were more or less in line.

 

That's where the blond found me, around twenty foot from the target hitting each line with an almost perfection. I grinned before sprinting to the target and counting twenty one feet - I did this with my head down not realising I had company. 'You wouldn't have to count if you only threw four. And you shouldn't always hit straight on or one foot then two foot away - try moving around different angles and moving when you throw.' He told me taking one of the knives and throwing it without looking at the board. 'I can throw and not look, I know the board perfectly but that wont help me when I'm or its moving. Anyway its six o'clock you need to get food.' He informed me, I wanted to ask him what they were giving us to drink, how I learned how to throw so quickly, how I healed at a quicker pace - not in seconds but I couldn't have been unconscious for long but my healing looked days old.

 

I sighed, staring into his bottomless eyes, 'don't torment yourself on the past Scarlet.' Ge told me gently taking the rest of the knives from me, I knew what he meant and walked slowly away from him. The gentle thump, thump, thump calmed my nerves as I left the room.

At the end of the day

 

I didn't bother running back to the lodging but walked slowly and calmly, enjoying the growing darkness and the cooling air. I didn't feel like I needed to be better when I was alone, me on my own was good enough. I didn't feel that need to better myself.

 

I walked back into the dining room as nurses rushed around taking peoples vitals, fiddling with their watches to see how they faired. The nurse from eairler walked over to me and asked me to sit down, I complied as she took out a needle, I didn't move - I allowed her to take my blood and didn't feel any pain when she took a vile out of her pocket and got another syringe, she inserted the red looking serum into my blood stream.

 

She took the rubber tie off my arm and patted my shoulder, placing a cotten bud on my arm and taping it there 'your glucose and vitamin levels were  low, I just topped them up.' She told me smiling before walking out of the room, no one else got the special treatment I did, wasn't I drinking vitamins all day? Strange.

 

That was all quickly forgotten as chicken salad was passed out, the protein stopped the muscle pains that had began. After eating I nodded to Alyce and Jack before leaving for my room. Rose and Logan were sat amount other people, Beth was sending me glares across the room.

 

Rolling my eyes and left, the treck to my room was short but I grew ever more tired with each step, it may have only been half six but I was ready for sleep. I threw off my clothes and threw on plain black sleeping shorts and a black plain tee shirt - did they not have any other colour? I thought to myself, I led in my comfy bed but found the sheets too soft and blanket too heavy, I threw it off of me and rolled over.

The mattress creaked and I rolled off the bed with annoyance, I rolled up on the floor above my blanket. I felt better on the floor - more grounded. I began thinking what would happen if aTeddy and my son was alive surely I would would be eating biscuits and watching crappy tv feeling my little man kick, wanting to be free of the bounds of my body.

 

I sighed and rolled on to my side curling into a tight ball holding my considerably smaller body tight, I was all alone. I would be stronger for them, better. I would never let this happen to anyone again - it was my fault they didn't survive. My mother was right, I had murdered them...

 

It was all my fault,  my actions led to their death. To my horrific survival, I would trade my life for theirs in a heartbeat.

 

...

 

I am to blame

I awoke with a start I didn't know where I was, a fine sheen of sweat covered my whole body, I felt sticky and gross . The sweet sickly smell of sweat overpowered my senses. I gasped as pain wracked trailed across my body, my stomach was afire, the blemished skin burned with a feirce passion - it must have been what had awoke me. The burning spread to my limbs one by one I couldn't move them, it felt like something held me down. The sensation travelled towards my heart, I panted little gasps of air and moaned softly, I didn't think I was able to still utter sound.

 

No I wasn't aloud too, my very voice had led to his death. My fault. I deserved this, I wasn't aloud to call out for help. My whole body shook and I bit my lip in pain, blood slowly dripped down my chin. The physical pain calmed me, I could understand physics pain. I clenched my hands into fits my fingers making little half cresent marks in my skin. I awaited this strange fevers passing, I felt like I led their for hours, shaking with the pain.

 

Eventually it subsided into a dull thrumming in the back of my mind - my body was still hot with the soaring heat. I quickly stood up and threw off my clothes replacing them with my work out gear, I took my boots in my hands and tiptoed out, when I got to the entrance I slipped them on and slowly opened the creaky door, I left the door slightly open and sprinted towards the L shaped shelter.

 

Five minuets later and I was there, my breath was erratic.

 

I stood infront of the board and confessed my sins.

MURDERER

 

BETRAYAL

 

SELFISH

 

KILLER

 

MURDERER

 

BETRAYAL

 

SELFISH

 

KILLER.

 

I completed each exercise untill the burning was gone and then some more. I was found sweating and shaking hours later, as the sun was climbing up the horizon. The trainer watched me for sometime, I felt his eyes, they already knew. They all knew what I was. He didn't say anything to me, slowly he walked over and began his own exercise confessing his own sins.

 

Murder

Betrayer

Selfish

Sinner

killer

 

I stopped when my wrist began beeping at me, it was breakfast time. I sighed before nodding to the burley man and jogging away. The breakfast hall was empty, I ate three bars before the first footsteps echoed above me. I drank a bottle of the strangely coloured water and then another.

I was the first to leave the house and the others followed.

 

' Names' he called out.

 

I began forming my name with letters I couldn't say. A language I no longer held the right to speak. My head my personal hell. We began training like yesterday, my body was already aching. I ignored it, pain means your alive. The dead don't feel anything, for them I would stand it.

 

I wouldn't break and cry, I learned to take a hit and throw one back. To break someone's hold on me and then it was over. The lesson flew past in what seemed like seconds, Logan didn't speak to me that was okay though the silence was nice. He didn't scream at me or get angry like he did yesterday, if I got hit he would repeats the move until I blocked it, he was a good partner.

 

We jogged back through the woods, in the dining room smoothies awaited us - Niki stood in the corner discussing something with her daughter, the girl - Sam? From yesterday walked up to me. 'Your fitting in well.' She informed me smiling, crooked teeth shone throw her dark hair got in her face and she shoved it away with annoyance. I shrugged and drank the rest of the smoothie down - it was filled with all kinds of fruit and a slight tinge of that copper I was anticipating.

 

Nikkis daughter walked towards me and nodded for me to follow her into the nurses office. She checked out my ankle and told me off for taking off the bandage yesterday but it no longer looked like I needed one. She took the rest of my stitches out and rubbed ointment on my ankle and stomach. Again she took my blood and took out the strange bottle, she gave me almost double the dose this time.

 

I left and began walking to the training range, warehouse again. 'Get into your groups.' The woman told us, she was wearing almost exactly the same as yesterday though her hair was left down today. I got into the third line as the blond man and woman walked into the room they smiled at each other before splitting and standing next to the brown haired woman. 'Today you will be doing the same as yesterday though you'll be doing a different activity. Lauren will be taking the archers and Jason will be taking those going to the gun range.' She called out - what was her name?

 

I sighed as Jason walked towards my group, ugh prepare for Beths endless flirting I thought to myself bitterly. Sam, Beth, Jack, and myself were in this group. The girl Beth was bitch at me with yesterday was also in our group, I didn't recognise any of the others in the gun group so I just shrugged it off and followed Beth who was on Jason's heals.

 

Jack and sam caught my expression and laughed, Jason turned around at caught it seconds before my expressionless demeanour was back. He grinned at me before looking at Beth and laughing, she looked terrified. 'Ha..have I got something on my face?' She asked in a small voice, I wanted to laugh so badly I placed my hand over my mouth as a silently laugh made my chest vibrate with the pressure of holding in the laugh. Jason looked at me and laughed some more before turning around and walking out of the room. The rest of the students looked dumbfounded.

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 22.03.2016

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