The meaning

Chapter one

 

Obsolete describes a part or organ of an animal or plant that is undeveloped or no longer functional isn’t that quite the contradiction? Undeveloped suggests it still has a fighting chance, but no longer functional means no longer functional. Maybe I am an obsolete…

 

It was about three am and I couldn’t seem to find the confines of sleep. Again. The seemed to differ from me, almost like I was strange. Other. Most nights I’d hide in my room listening to music but tonight that didn’t seem enough. Something called to me, out in the trees and hollow side walk. My body craved the night’s air. Sighing I finally gave in. I looked around my dump of a room with a sneer, seeing clothes random cups and an empty litter tray.

 

No wonder I couldn’t sleep my room was barely big enough for me and the cat, let alone my little golden retriever pup. At six months old she was still a miniature fuzz ball running to fast to see where she was going. Her white curly hair shook as she stood up looking at me inquisitively. ‘Jokes on you Lass, I’ve got enough energy to run a Marathon.’ She responded with a quiet yip ‘Shh you’ll wake Tiny up.’ I told her pointing at my little cat asleep on my bed, he’d normally follow us around the park but I worried.

 

After my parents shipped me off to my Grandmother’s house I’d taken refuge in my new room. I wanted to unpack I did but then Lilly excitedly ripped through the black bags that held my clothes. She made a nice bed there and went to sleep, sighing I rummaged for my grey and light blue trainers. They were a going away present from my mom before she left. Claiming it was for my better mental health to stay in a ‘Stable home’ but I liked moving.

You stuck out for a day and then people lost interest, they’d stair at you blankly. That’s why I loved the cities. That’s until some idiot decided it was a good idea to move me to some hick town with a woman I’d met twice, including earlier. I’d been led here for hours now refusing to move, cold tea led in cups all around me.

 

I grabbed for a pair of running shorts, it was cold but I couldn’t really care. I had been sweltering all day. The cool after a storm. Yea I just twisted that all up. I grabbed a black jacked and pushed my jaw length blond ish brown ish from my face. It was still strange I’d cut it the day before I’d arrived here as punishment my mother always loved my long hair, it bothered me so I took scissors to it. Sighing our last stop was a hair dresser, the lady tutted at me the whole half hour she spent clearing up the mess I’d made.

 

I grabbed the necklace I’d shoved the new key on, it was an old tradition of mine. I never seemed to stop losing them, I never remembered post codes, keys or names. But I always remembered the trails I ran. Even on automatic. I grabbed the door handle and snook down the unfamiliar stairs, listening to music but freezing every other step I didn’t know these stairs, I didn’t know their creeks but if she knew I was leaving she didn’t open her door.

My music wasn’t loud enough, the cream walls rounding round the awkward two point stair case annoyed me, as did the hideous yellow curtain covering the door.

 

I tugged it out of the way disgusted. The door opened to a stupid little porch I hated, the light flickered on bringing my over loading annoyance to surface. I closed the door and tugged the key under my shirt closing my eyes I could almost imagine living here, not hating it. Almost, I liked the way the houses were all different. Some purple some yellow. They all looked to be built at different times not just a mass build of unfeeling boring buildings. I ran down to the end of the street I had to admit I liked my shoes, they were memory foam in forced with jell.

 

‘I don’t want to hurt you mom but you suck and you’re being more than a little selfish.’ I had yelled at her, saddened I looked forward and sighed. Not that I could hear it but the sigh was there. We didn’t move around cause either of my ‘parents’ were famous of wanted to. In fact my own mother wasn’t ‘mom’ she was my auntie and my uncle in law wasn’t even blood. My ‘real’ parents died when I was seven, yea – yea boo hoo the kid who lost both her parents. Shameful thing is I don’t remember them.

 

I have amnesia, upsetting as it is I don’t remember them, the first thing my Grandmother said to me when she saw me was that I looked like ‘her’. Knowing who she meant I shrugged, I felt nothing. My ‘mother’ was a stranger to me. And though David and my auntie Lexie (Alexandria) were distant they went under this whole witness protection thing for me.

 

I shook my head angrily I wound not think of all that, my life being endanger and they bring me to the only family member of mine not in hiding? Yea even I’m not stupid enough to believe I was safe here. Ten years of mixed martial arts later and I was a little bit of a ninja. Finding a new martial arts to learn was kind of a hobby of mine too. A new town? A new skill. Yep weird hoarder of the ‘arts’ and running trails.

 

I’m sounding like a sport freak now, kinda the opposite really I’m the laziest person around. I love my bed but sometimes the night calls to me. I’m an odd girl. I quickly turned right (on the ride here I saw a park, the road that I had to turn left on to reach my culdersack held a park if you went straight forward – weird town.)

 

One of my favourite songs came with a flurry of violent violin, a strong voice flooded on calling for attention for all girls. Calling that guys couldn’t control us, that we’d be better in their position. That if we were the cheating ones not calling back they’d react the same way we would.

 

As soon as the words ‘Switch up the rolls.’ I sprinted forward looking across the road I sprinted and passed the green barrier easily. White little Lilly or Lass as I sometimes called her ironically, ran beside me her little pants bellowing out fog. To the left lay weeds that crept up the side of a black fence hiding another person’s garden. To my right a massive black lagoon of grass led away from me. I stuck to the path, I could see a swirling lake just in front of me. As soon as the black fence ran out a little children’s park came into view.

 

A single swing swayed in the wind. An apparatus with a slide glistened in the moonlight, reflecting off the graphited sides of the metal box. I shook my head in distraught who’d do that to a kids play area? The path led in two directions left towards the park and a lighten path leading around the park of off to the right into the blackened abys.

 

I grinned at went for the obvious direction.

 

The Venture

 

Chapter two

 

A venture is a trip, sounds a little like adventure right? That nice little fun time you have chasing the Easter bunny, this isn’t it. A venture is unpleasant or dangerous. It is to take a risks or dangers of a particular task. The saying nothing ventured nothing gained is stupid. No one should ever risk all.

 

I told you I was weird, darting off to the right. My heart beat with the challenge, adrenalin scared me into running faster. ‘Come.’ I clicked my tong a couple times before sprinting forward, I imagined my slapping feet to be the only sound for miles around here. The lake was beautifully placed though the right side of it seemed to be boring.

 

All that appeared to me was the blackened grass swaying in the light breeze. Almost, not quite but almost dancing to the same song I was. A rock song burst into my ears with an unstable madness and blast of sound. As unreal as it sounds the trees seemed to come alive as did the lake, something was here with me.

 

I shivered, what had my mom told me about watching creepy movies? And creepy music didn’t help, I had to stop freaking myself out. A guitar solo came on as I pulled my iPod out of my sports bra, staring down at it I chose a less creepy ‘this is the end’ song.

 

Shaking my head at my own foolishness I clenched my fists annoyed. The corners cut into the palm of my hand but I didn’t care, sometimes pain was the only thing I understood. Sometimes it even called to me. The darkness carried on hinting nothing but an unending path leading nowhere, bored I practiced my sprint starts. Slowing and then quickening up as quickly as I could. Only to slow back down and start the whole process again.

 

Suddenly I couldn’t see Lilly any more, yanking off my head phones I looked around confused. ‘Lilly!’ I called a little worried for her. Suddenly she sprinted for me yelping and crying feeble little puppy cries. I bend down and picked her up. Little children’s giggles echoed from somewhere in the darkness. They seemed to echo around me. Little evil childlike cackles.

 

And then suddenly footsteps joined the echo. ‘Come out, come out where ever you are.’ I called out bored, I am not as scared as a little puppy. Blond hair flashed past my left side, I turned quickly dropping the squirming puppy and getting into a defensive stance. A man walked out of the blackness shadows surrounding him. A blood red tie stood out on his otherwise dark attire.

 

He turned and disappeared again, his dress shoes clattering loudly. ‘Ohh scary, come to scare the new girl. I’m not scared of your pranks!’ I shouted waiting to hear teenaged giggles but was met with nothing. Suddenly he appeared in front of me, his stalk walking stick flashing out to strike me.

 

Jumping forward into a role I ducked under it and stood up inches from him, his dreadful black eyes glared into mine. I stumbled a step backwards not so sure I could win this fight. Disable and run. Disable and run. Some small part of my mind screamed at me.

 

This close I could see how dirty and gross his dirty blond hair was. A tattoo stood out behind his ear. ‘What do you want?’ I asked without a quiver in my voice. I don’t hurt and get scared that’s not me, I go down with honour. But some small part of me was screaming.

 

‘We knew you’d be back.’ He whispered his voice like the wisps of smoke that surrounded him. ‘I have never been here?’ I replied confused, my whole body was screaming at me but I ignored it. I needed to know. I felt drawn to this creepy strange smelly guy.

 

‘On the contrary my dear, this is where it all began.’ He whispered contempt and hate filling his words. I turned tail and ran, there was nothing more to do. This guy was crazy. I sprinted and saw that Lilly was ahead of me, sprinting faster than I’d ever seen her before.

 

Before I knew it I was sprinting right into the black abys, straight passed a bunch of guys who looked shocked but didn’t stop to question me - they were already running towards them. I couldnt warn them, I could do nothing. I sprinted so fast I was sure I was leaving shreds of shoe or mud behind in my wake.

 

As soon as I saw the green fence I shoved my hands out in front of me and voted over the fence. I could hear something giving chase but I would not turn around I’m more than a little sure my life depended on it.

 

Eventually I made it to my front door, not even bothering to be quiet I pulled open the door and slammed it shut behind me. My grandmother stood in the kitchen with a smooth expression on her face, she reached for the closet draw and pulled out a can opener. She calmly opened a can of tuner the grinding gears was the only sound. Even my breathing was quit now not wanting to disrupt the silence. Knocks banged on the door. Deafening me. She smiled calmly and scooped some out Tiny ran down the stairs his black lithe body jumping on top of the side and mewing.

 

How could she be so calm? Like nothing was wrong. I turned around and bolted the bolt across the top of the door. I clicked the chain into place and turned the key in door. ‘Keys and bolts wont protect us against them, not once they’ve been invited in.’ she called in a hauntingly sweet voice. Shivers crawled up my back, as cold sweat dripped down it. ‘Who are they?’ I whispered haunted. ‘The night children of course.’ She called giggling. I flinched at the sound. Throwing my IPod on the stairs I creeped passed her into the kitchen and grabbed a knife from knife from the little block of wood.

Innocence

 

Chapter 3

 

Innocence the definition of a child, well not quite. The definition was more to do with being free from sin or evil and what child wasn’t? What new born was born into a world where horrors would always plague them? Harmless of intention, guilty of no crime or offence. That was me, yet what made these creatures of the night haunt me so relentlessly.

 

Sound exploded all around me. It was like a boarder from the outside world. Nothing would stop it, nothing could help us. I peered out the window yet no lights shone, no person query. Tears clogged the back of my throat. I wanted to scream, this was so familiar I felt it from the depth of my bones the very pores of my gut. Not that I’m sure guts have pores… The laughs no longer resembled that of happy children but that of cries of a wild animal. Scared I grabbed my grandmother. ‘Get upstairs and hide!’ I screamed at her above the catastrophic noise. She stood in the corner stuck between laughing and crying hysterically.

 

She no longer resembled the woman she was earlier, what had happened? Who was I and why the hell was I being hunted. I remembered what my ant always whispered to me before me ‘never trust a perfect person. They are heartless.’ The words echoed, the man outside his face a frozen picture of perfection.

 

I grabbed the knife between my hands and walked slowly to the back door, it was open. Goose bumps rose along the length of my exposed arms. ‘You cannot run from the children of the night.’ The man from before whispered, cackles exploded from the dark oblivion. ‘What do you want?’ I screamed, his old fashioned accent did nothing but annoy me. My voice barely creeping over that of the creeps outside of my door. I slammed the door, I wouldn’t not let them in.

 

No way would they win this stupid little game of theirs. ‘You know what we want Tori, we know it and deep down so do you.’ His voice came from everywhere and nowhere. It was haunting, ever more so when howls echoed all around us. The childish giggles ending in hisses and screams that plagued my ears. It made me sick, I wanted them out of my system. This is now my house, I wouldn’t let them plague me and my ears. The cold seemed to creep into the very foundation of the house, I felt colder than I thought possible. Throwing open the door, I took a tentative step outside. ‘This is my house! I don’t belong to you, whether you know me or not. You had better leave all of you.’ I screamed over the nervous chatter.

 

The laughter was back as was the cold sweat dripping down my back. ‘Leave me!’ I screamed into this unfamiliar land, into their unfamiliar bold white faces. The looked a little shocked before twenty people flashed me their surprisingly white teeth. ‘Don’t taunt her children it isn’t time, the day creeps to an end. We bid you farewell my dear.’ His voice was sickly sweet, his smile joined by that of sharp white teeth. His canines filed to a point.

 

'But must we wait, Calvin?' A childish voice whispered.

 

Another ground shaking howl erupted into the night, shivering I knew I mustn’t back down. I held my knife higher. My back straighter, feet apart ready to take a blow. ‘You heard the queen creep leave here!’ I shouted angry as they stood and leered at me. I growl echoed from somewhere close. Shivering I stared at the closest blond haired creep. His clothes were of an older fashion, something from the 1900’s, I bit back a laugh as he hissed and turned away. My eyes followed the movement and found a brunette girl standing breathlessly close to me. ‘Leave!’ I hissed pointing my knife at her.

 

One by one the people backed off. Eventually even the growling died down. Lilly ran at me with a little yip and jumped up into my arms, I flung my arm holding the knife away from me and caught her with my other arm. . ‘Hey baby.’ I breathed still feeling eyes on me. ‘Go inside.’ I told her dropping her where I stood, something was still off.

I walked backwards until my head knocked into the open kitchen window. When the hell had that happened? More importantly who the hell opened it? I wondered furiously. Suddenly Lilly began growling again, even Tiny hissed from his spot above the fridge. Locking the door I breathed in relief.

 

A furious banging on my door drew my heart into another beating frenzy, what the hell was wrong now!? I wondered running to the front door and unbolting it, I yanked it open with fury unfamiliar to me. Mom and dad had better come and pick me up from this hell hole and soon. A guy stood at my door, his face drained of colour. Without a second though I threw the knife at him like one would a net ball. Not to hurt him but startle. He caught it with a confused look on his face, I kicked the knife now in his flat palms and it flew from his reach.

 

My teachers had always told me use the greatest weapon available to me, don’t fight with something you couldn’t use. And right now I didn’t need him snatching the knife and murdering me on my door step. I kicked straight at his chest with the flat of my heel. He stumbled back looking confused and a little hurt. Not pain just hurt. ‘What kind of stupid games are you and your stupid friends playing at?’ I shouted into the strangers face. ‘My grandmothers upstairs in a right fright. Leave and don’t come back you jack ass!’ I shouted slamming the door.

 

I shook from head to toe, he muttered something before leaving. It sounding something like Welcome to hell before he left. I crumbled against the door, I didn’t want to see my grandmother she was so freaked out before she left. I didn’t think I could face it, tear – snot and all that kinda creeped me out more than a little. Shivering I pulled Lilly tight against me.

 

Eventually I found my solace, in her warm fir and the freaky silence that surrounded us. My mind whispered ‘the silence before the storm’ in the creepiest manner before I finally passed out exhausted.

Listless

 Chapter 4

 

The definition of Listless is creepy, it pretty much sums me up which is odd for a person to think, one word? Listless doesn’t mean there’s no shopping list or an endless list of something. It means something quite different; it means to lack interest or willingness to make an effort. When I woke up I didn’t care about my hair before I even got here I was quite aloof. Sometimes I just lie there with the feeling of no energy or interest. Like some big part of me is missing. I normally sum it up to missing so many years of my missing life but it still creeps me out.

 

My phone woke me with sounds of motivation. It was six am, time for my morning run I thought rubbing my poor body. Everything felt numb and cold. ‘The alarms that shatter you from sleep call to your attention. But your body screams no, screams for the snooze button. Just ten minutes, you take it because you’re human. But that ten minutes of your life will one day owe you your life. A lion wake every morning knowing it must outrun every one of its primates to reach its prey. It must be faster than the slowest gazelle or it will starve and die. That very same gazelle wakes up knowing it could die, knowing one in his pack is soon to be lost to the never failing power of the lioness stride. It knows that if he or she if the last in his heard that it will surely be its time to die.

 

Question is will you be the Lion or the gazelle…’ The alarm fixed out to nothing, sighing I found my phone discarded on the kitchen side. No call no texts, great.

Grabbing my iPod I called Lilly to me, time to face my daemons.

…

I open the door only to find the entry empty. Sighing saw a blink of silver and bent to pick of the knife I had carelessly disregarded yesterday. Thinking better to leave it outside just in case. I bent low and shoved it under the green bin. With little else I set off into the morbid morning.

 

I was met with nothing. No one was around. No one at all. I felt strangely blessed and quickly blasted music into my delicate ears. Sprinting off I felt a strange sense of freedom, now that I’ve scared off the so called night children I felt like I was about to take my first mouthful of freedom.

 

I ran away from the children’s park still a little scared of the eerie marks that covered it. Even the simple chairs swinging creeped me out. I ran past it and turning left found myself a nice little park bench a hundred yards ahead. Trees covered me both side of the path so I was pretty covered, smiling I ran to the lonely seat.

 

Lilly took her vigil above me, sitting in a very human posture scaring off the randomness. No one was around but having here there gentled my frightened spirit. I quickly began doing sit ups. The pain in my lower back as pleasant as always.

 

Today was like any other run, nothing strange happened. I even managed to run all the way around the lake. Nothing – had I imagined everything?

 

I ran back through the gate with a heavy heart, looking down instead of forward. My ears ringing in meaningless. Some bad playing like everything could be forced into a song. Maybe it could be, I just could feel it. I felt little of anything anymore. Which is why I took up mixed martial arts, pain is not welcome. Defeat is not welcome. The first emotion I want to truly feel is pride. Pride at doing something right.

 

Smacking into something I omphed and fell onto my ass. ‘Hey!’ I protested up to the muscled stranger, he had to be around five seven which wasn’t all that tall but at five three it but him miles above me. Muscular but not like a rugby player, more like a cheetah. He said something that I couldn’t hear. Pulling out my headphones in annoyance I stood up – spotting Tiny. ‘Come here you little… yep you’re a little shit come here!’ I called running over to him and picking him up. ‘You truly want to be eaten.’ I muttered turning to see the guy crouched and stroking the squirming in happiness Lilly. She led belly up wriggling.

 

Sighing I took a second to watch his smile before tacking in the rest of his lean body. His teeth were white but stupidly so. His legs were as long as his body, his torso was something I didn’t even want to look at, his stupid basketball shorts hinted at his muscular legs as he perched. Sighing I looked at his face; strong jaw, clear yellow eyes, his straight jaw, his light short blond hair that was cut a few inches from the scalp. ‘Your eyes.’ I whispered, clucking my tong Lilly soon stood up looking a little dazed. Clicking my fingers she walked backwords growling in confusion not seeing the threat.

 

The guy, not much older than me stood smiling. His eyes no longer yellow but a green that looked fractured. Filled with yellow. I shuddered and took a step back banging into a random tree. The air flew from me. ‘I am not one of them.’ He whispered smiling slightly. ‘You may not have the white teeth or tan free skin but you had yellow eyes.’ I told him shivering, why did they seem so familiar?

 

‘Hey, I was just stopping you from crashing. No harm.’ He told me lifting his strange eyes to meet mine, I shivered again knowing what colour lay beneath them. ‘How can they change?’ I asked taking a step forward, I didn’t want to be trapped against the tree. ‘My mood; anger, hunger, lust.’ He replied winking. ‘Need me to make you a sandwich?’ I asked smiling, deferring the conversation. ‘Na I’m sure your grandmother will have them ready.’ He informed me smiling. ‘Why?’ I asked a little confused. ‘I am your chaperone, she sent me to find you.’ He said shrugging.

 

‘Ah okay.’ I said a little untrusting. ‘Can you show me the way I do not remember which road it is.’ I asked sounding sweet, too sweet. He called it. ‘You know exactly where you live Victoria, as does everyone in this town.’ He called out walking past me and stroking the ensnared Lilly on the walk past. The walk was silent, Lilly had completely left me now. Walking at his side instead of mine, I sighed and held tiny closer. His black fur was warm and think. Soft and shiny.

 

A black truck was pulled up beside my house, empty. Must be his. I opened the strangely closed gate and left it that way. I didn’t like the thought of stopping to open it during a flee. Walking past him I unlocked the door and walked inside, he was right it did smell nice in here. ‘Shower, we have half an hour before school.’ He told me gently, not quite an order but enough of one. I sighed and walked past the open back door shivering as I did so. I dropped Tiny on the closed toilet seat after placing my towel down, he seemed content there. I pulled off all my sweat slick clothes and showered as fast as I could. Grabbing my back pack from the back of the bathroom door (I kept all items that had my DNA on me at all times. Mothers order). Brushing my teeth and shaving my legs was weird to do at the same time but I managed it. I quickly washed my hair and body before taking the towel from the already napping tiny. He didn’t seem to mind, much.

 

I grabbed the spare pair of clothes from my bag not wanting to walk around the house clothes. There was a clean set of underwear, a dark blue belly top that had a collage of micky mouse pictures. And a set of dark grey jeans that had lines sowed across them under the knees. I loved them. I dried my razer before placing it back in its carry case as with my tooth brush. My bag already held my books and fully charged laptop. I walked through the sweetly smelling kitchen and walked into the dining room, we had no internet or tv. Just a room to eat in. I sighed before taking a seat across from the stranger.

 

They hadn’t taken a bite of their cereal or toast. ‘Do you er wish to prey?’ I asked sounding uncertain I didn’t know how to prey… ‘Of course you silly child.’ She replied her eyes hard and hiding something. She began a prey I didn’t listen to, I was too busy watching the stranger. His eyes were closed and his face relaxed. ‘Amen.’ She and he called. ‘Amen’ I muttered, stumbling over the word after they’d finished their words, blushing at their surprised looks. ‘Do you not know a prayer?’ He asked softly. I shook my head and shivered at the look of sympathy on his face.

Great everyone already knew. ‘Of course you know your prayers, I taught them to you when you were six.’ She muttered angrily, I shivered again. ‘I-I know nothing of that time grandma. ‘This is only the third time I remember seeing you.’ I muttered quietly looking at my quickly cooling food. ‘They first and second?’ He asked sounding intrigued. ‘Last night when she was feeding tiny and when she met me at the door. Though I had yet lag.’ It was the excuse I had made, I wanted to hide away. I don’t like strangers.

‘Don’t be foolish child. You lived around the corner with your parents. I had you every weekend you ungrateful child.’ She muttered almost to herself. I gulped air. ‘Is the house still empty?’ I asked, I wanted to see it, wanted to know. ‘No. Though your parent’s possessions are in the cellar.’ I stood to go no longer hungry. ‘Eat.’ She snapped. I nodded and eat as quickly as I could. ‘Were going to be late.’ He called quickly leaving the table. I sighed, I would look tonight.

 

‘Stay Lass.’ I called softy at Lilly who wanted to follow me. ‘Why do you call her Lass, her name is Lilly is it not?’ He asked opening a door of his stupidly big car for me. ‘My dad er uncle in law is Scottish.’ I replied smiling softly I missed him, and Lexi they were all I had ever known. ‘You really don’t remember them? They were great people.’ He told me softly. I grinned suddenly wanting to find out more. ‘My aunty is only thirteen years older than me. She’s only twenty nine, my mother was in her thirties fifth she died. She never really knew her sister. She was already at that grumpy teenaged age when she had come along. She had me at twenty three, she was young but she never knew her. My ant was away at uni when she died. What do you remember of her?’ I asked intrigued.

 

‘I remember she made the best cookies, she worked at your grandmothers savoury store. It’s never been the same since. She used to dote on your farther he had your grey eyes. Boring at first but lit up unexpectedly or clouded over. Your mother always drew the clouds away. I remember your dad has some problems with his past but she protected him from himself. I remember her hair was long and blond, kinda like yours before you cut it off.’ He winked at me as I flicked imaginary hair behind my ear. My hand fell free of hair faster than it ever had before. I sighed and looked out the window locking the new information deep in my memory.

 

What plagued him? Was it the night creatures? Was it yellow eyes? I wondered and wondered but was met with no easily accessible answer.

Facination

 Chapter 5

Fascination is the power to hold somebody's attention completely or irresistibly, the complete and utter absorption of something you find interesting…

 

‘Here, your grandmother didn’t give you one.’ He held out a simple but beautiful cross, around a white chain. I chuckled and held my hand out inspecting it. ‘I can’t its yours and far too manly.’ I chuckled and went to hand it back. ‘It’s the only thing that can protect you.’ I huffed ‘What will protect you?’ I asked rolling my eyes. He pulled down the left side of his shirt flashing the corner of a cross tattoo. ‘Fine.’ I called rolling my eyes. I took the necklace and pulled out my own. It was a clear quarts pendant, Straight and then the tip of a triangle at the end. The holdings were all bronze even the chain its self. ‘Here.’ I held out, I couldn’t just take his without putting something of mine on the line.

 

‘Really this? I’ve never seen such a girly necklace!’ He called out chuckling but quickly put it on without further complaint. I struggled with the clasp and he quickly asked me to turn around. I shrugged and did so. I pulled my hair to the side and heard him gasp. ‘Yea, yea It’s a butterfly and a couple of flowers.’ I whispered but I secretly loved it, my ant always said if you couldn’t fly free you’re not yourself any more. ‘It’s pretty.’ He murmured tracing the curling line with his finger tip. I shivered involuntary. Not because he had cold hands because they were surprisingly warm. No I shivered because no one had ever touched it before, not even my mom knew I’d had it done.

 

‘Great, now we really do need to go!’ He calls looking down at his watch and biting his lip nervously. I sigh, ‘what’s school like?’ I ask a little worried, you always have the same people, similar joke but different settings it weird. ‘You don’t remember school?’ He asked looking confused. ‘I remember school, like fourteen of them. I feel like I’m a test hoarder or something!’ I call out giggling. We’ve moved every year sometimes more than once a year.

 

This is my second new placement. I sigh and smile, I haven’t giggled in a while. ‘Oh, we’ll I guess its different. There cliques are different here. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word. We don’t have football or rugby groups. We have the lone wol… I mean loners. We have the pack… of hyenas. Erm night children wonna bee’s.’ he rambled quietly focusing on the road. He now had my full attention. ‘That’s normal every school has the loners and hyenas was it.’ I laugh and then grow serious. ‘Are the night children a gang or something.’ I whisper. ‘Something like that.’ He muttered looking out the front screen absent minded. Even though the houses were together as soon as we left the couple of streets it was back to the forest. I sighed and looked out too.

 

Only to see shapes twisting and laughing in the distance. I cringed, which led him to turn the radio on. ‘Hey wait a minute.’ I called a little suspiciously. ‘Mm?’ He asked looking at me with a weirdly worried expression. ‘What is your name?’ I asked laughing at the relief on his face. His mouth relaxed into an easy smile. ‘Bond. James bond.’ He said putting on a voice that sounded more like Elvis than any bond id heard off. ‘Seriously.’ I asked with fake wonder, when he looked at me he snorted and then his face lost any hint of laughter. ‘It’s brad. Brad Zachary.’ He told me holding out his right hand, crossing his body to shake my hand. I chuckled and shook it with my right too making it awkward. ‘Brad, a dreamy dude in the 80’s or an insane asshole in the nineties.’ I told him winking. ‘Insanely hot!’ He called out laughing. ‘What about Zachary?’ He asked his smiling eyes front again. ‘Funny, yet not cruelly so I bet lots of people find you funny. Probably watches game of thrones with his ma.’ I say winking.

 

‘Na, but I did with my extremely hot girlfriend, you jelly?’ He asked eyes still front and smirking. ‘Oh Zachary how could you do this to me.’ I fake a swoon as he pulls up into the drive way of school. He chuckled and jumped out leaving me to catch up with him. I laugh as he walks backwards creepily calling me forth with his hands. I snort and jump out racing after him. Within seconds he’s turned to run but I leaped onto his back laughing loudly.

Suddenly all things around us go quiet. A car pulls up somewhere but I refuse to turn. Refuse to give notice. ‘Where we going princess?’ I joke, not yet jumping down from his back. ‘Jeez what do you weigh?’ He asked jostling my weight and holding me up higher. Luckily for me he’d been holding his bag by the top of the straps when he’d jumped out. He laughed with me ignoring the people walking into school with silence. ‘Hey, I weigh nine five!’ I call out smacking his arm loudly. He snorted and carried on towards school, cars are parked hazardously all around us and the door seems miles away.

 

‘Couldn’t you have parked closer?’ I asked moaning a little. ‘You not even walking!’ He replied in jest. ‘So, I’ll have to walk it later and be ever so tired and it would be all your fault.’ I replied resting my arms around his hard shoulders. ‘Wow for someone who runs you aren’t half lazy!’ He replied running the rest of the way to the door. People parted with startled expressions. Life had turned back to normal. I couldn’t help but wonder who had parked up behind us.

 

Brad drops me to the ground grinning down at me. ‘Stop grinning twinkle toes I nearly fell off!’ I moan pouting. ‘Oh how doest I serve you so rough your majesty.’ He replied playing along, I snorted and turned to open the door. ‘Shut it before I shove my so called royal foot up you ordinary ass.’ I replied pulling the heavy clear door without a bother I turned and winked only to find Brad not there. I held the door open blushing slightly as random people streamed in. ‘Should have seen your face.’ He replied suddenly behind me, his breath moved my hair and I pulled my elbow backwards hitting him in the gut. It probably hurt my elbow more than him but it was worth it.

 

‘Where do I go next?’ I asked him as he feigned falling over and swooning. Someone laughed and I looked into cold blue eyes. I tensed. I’d seen him yesterday. I wasn’t sure if he was one of the men creeping around my house but he was certainly pale enough. Though he was dressed in normal clothing. I shivered. ‘You’ve played your tricks with me, leave.’ I accused angrily, he raised a perfect pail eye brow and walked inside laughing.

Feign

Chapter 6

 

The perfect feign, is to have the perfect mirror image of something. The show of a pretence or fabrication of a copy. To pretend to be something you’re not.

 

My phone started vibrating in my jeans pocket, his insanely pale blow eyes followed the movement with creepy attention. I shivered and pulled it out. I glanced down to see my mother was calling me. I dropped the call and looked up only to find him inches from my face. His head titled like a cats ready to play a game. Hissing I shoved the middle of his chest with a fist and a flat hand, the hit was dead on. It was supposed to make him step back and it did. A fist under the rib and a flat hand over the skin above the fist. Was it the diaphragm I wasn’t sure?

 

‘Don’t fuck with me.’ I growled taking a step closer my hands by my side but I was angry now. They didn’t get to treat me like this. He stepped back grinning. ‘You’re not funny and you’re stupid if you think you can get into my head. You don’t scare me.’ I replied standing completely still. Mocking me he froze like a statue. ‘Your mother calls to you.’ He whispered before striding away. I shivered uncomfortable when he purposely trailed his fingers across my skin. They were so cold it was like a trail of freezing fire.

 

I sighed and turned around to see an amused Brad though the way he was leaning was predatory not relaxed. ‘I personally wouldn’t fuck with you.’ He replied winking, implying. I rolled my eyes at his playful temperament. He slung his arm around me and we walked inside. ‘How’s your girlfriend?’ I asked hip bumping him. ‘Ohh she’s mighty fine.’ He replied chuckling. I snorted before grabbing my book outa my bag, in my messy scrawl read L37. C R 13.

 

Okay so lockers number 37 my first class is room 13. Got it. I put my bag and book back on my back and turned to look for my locker. ‘This way.’ Brad called in a sing song like tone. Rolling my eyes I followed him down the row of around fifty lockers. Quickly finding mine empty. ‘Well that was a waste of time.’ I told him dryly. ‘Yea hmm. Maybe I should just take you to English.’ He muttered looking at the group of pale creepy people discussing something angrily and pointing at us. Hissing when me and Brad accidently brushed hands. He quickly took my hand and pressed a kiss to it winking at those staring. I snorted but didn’t take it back. ‘Now School girlfriend listen up.’ He called loud enough for them to hear. ‘Yes dick for brains?’ I asked laughing at his hysterical expression. ‘Nothing.’ He replied looking somewhere else now.

 

Following his gaze I saw him look at what could be his brother. Short brown hair deep set green eyes, brads high cheek bones. His body was just as lean as Brads if not leaner. Though his shoulders seemed to be broader and his looked to be a little taller. He wore washed out jeans and a dark blue shirt that was badly buttoned. Badly because I couldn’t stop looking at the hint of chest.

 

‘I bet your brother is an arse. And his name is something like Hunter.’ I told him laughing at the look I got from the guy across the room. He snorted and made a noncomential sound. ‘Not going to ask me why?’ I replied turning my back to his brother and walking facing Brad, trailing my finger up the bottom of his chin and then tapping his nose lightly. ‘Nope. Why Hunter?’ He asked trying to not smile.

 

‘Wellll. Hunter seems to seem he hunts something probably popularity or something. Started smoking at a young age with cheap Tabaco. Switched to menthols at fifteen and now is deciding on whether to use a pipe. Is stupidly good at whatever he tries, always wants to be right. And was definitely born minutes before you and call you out on it every minute of every day. Though you don’t care because you’re the funny one not the mysterious twin.’ I listed off still looking into his eyes. He shook his head and grinned ‘Half right.’ He whispered winking and grabbing my arm to turn me around. I fell into his side and he grinned wickedly.

 

‘But his names not hunter. It’s Devon – Chillaxes with Satan but it’s no big deal. Nice try Princess’ He winked picking up my game, I giggled and rolled my eyes. ‘Oh but darling you are the Princess never forget.’ I told him giggling again. My phone began vibrating but I wanted to toss it away with disgust. After I dropped a call a text came through to my phone.

 

I can pretty much see you tutting and the expression on your face means you’re going to throw the phone at the wall talk to me baby x

 

I sighed at rolled my eyes at my phone.

 

Class, I’ll call you ltr.

 

No you won’t ;) x

 

I snorted at my phone, she replied in seconds she must have been poised over her phone. I put it back away to look at Brad. ‘Mommy problems?’ He asked laughing, then his face went slack and his eyes wide. ‘Shit I’m so sorry.’ He said quickly trying to look into my face. ‘Phaa it’s fine and yhea, she knows me to well.’ I replied laughing. He smiled still looking a little worried though. ‘I don’t remember her, Lexi is my one and only Mum and David is my farther.’ I informed him, before we stopped in front of the class room.

 

‘So if I joke about it a little more you’re not goanna punch me?’ He asked cheekily. ‘Na but I’d probably punch you for your smirk.’ I replied winking. ‘One favour.’ He asked moving closer to me, standing so close our noses nearly touched. I stood completely still, not knowing what to do. Slowly my eye brow rose. ‘Don’t tell anyone about my eyes?’ He asked almost a breath of words. So quiet you couldn’t call it a whisper. I snorted and shoved him away, ‘I’m telling everyone.’ I replied winking before going into the class room. My phone buzzed before I found an empty desk by the window at the back.

 

I’ll buy you milkshake?

 

Cheaparse!

 

Its cheap scape darling.

 

I snorted and put my phone away, I felt someone’s eyes on me, looking up I saw the one of the children of the night. The guy from before, I shot him daggers. He hissed and began walking over to me with a sneer on his pale face. I already hated him. But I also felt something much worse, much deeper. Unyielding fear. A deep rumbling growl came from behind me.

Unyeilding fear

Chapter 7

 

Unyielding fear. Unyielding relates to something or one who refuses to give into pressure. Persuasion or force. Whilst fear is an unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by any presence of danger or uncomforting circumstances.

 

I turned around looking at the only person sat behind me, he had his hood down over his head before I’d chosen my seat. Not looking up. Not until one of the children of the night had entered. His eyes and glowing that startling yellow that his brothers had only half an hour before. Devon.

 

He doesn’t even try to disguise his eyes shining from under his hood, nor his growl. The Jester puts his hands up in surrender and sits one desk to my left. Everything in my body clenches. My mind is a mess of oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. ‘Are you unable to leave me alone?’ I ask angrily, I have actually risen above all levels of anger. This is my second day in this town, my first class and I already hate it. ‘What if I am unable?’ He asks, his voice smooth. Bitter sweet, leaving an after taste of revulsion. I wanted out, my body was screaming for me to flee. I sat further back in my seat ignoring how cold I felt next to him. He seemed to radiate cold unlike the warmth that leathered itself into the very confines in Brad’s skin.

 

‘Then I will unman you, maybe you’ll start thinking with your brain. It would be doing you a favour really.’ I whisper in a tone sweeter than even his, I  manage a smile, something in me something predatory loving this. I think it’s too much because my cheeks even hurt. He mutters something that has Devon snorting, I roll my eyes and put my headphones in. I’ve had enough of games. Picking up the book placed in front of me I comply to the order written on the board. ‘Read pages 17 through 30.’ I had read the book a million of times, the writing almost etched into my eyelids. My eyes skimmed the words that my mind didn’t comply. After the teacher didn’t arrive after a few minutes I give up and lay my head on my arms. My head hurting so I stop the music blarring into my ears after a few seconds of silence I find out why my head hurt. I was extremly tired.

 

‘She’s still under protection - stay away from her Landon.’ Devon’s voice was poisonous, devoid of all emotion. Except one; pure and simple. Anger, hatrid something evil - well kind of one anyway. What had I done to make the town people so testy? ‘We have as much right as any of you.’ Was the snarled reply. ‘Actually I think my grandmother would be quite annoyed at that notion, I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m hers.’ I muttered sleepily. Someone snorted nearly by though I couldn’t tell who. I yawned something rotten, my jaw wouldn’t have broken in two if I had open my mouth any wider.

…

Well my first class was a success, I managed to fall asleep. It was alright though – I woke fifteen minutes till the end to see a small woman at the end glaring at me. Quickly I check page thirty. There are five questions each harder than the last. I quickly began answering them. They were the same questions that were always asked. I even laughed a little and retrieved an old notebook from my bag across the front was written ‘My genius is in my other brain.’ I ripped out the answer sheet I had written not weeks before. I even had the hard back copy of the book somewhere. All ten questions were done – there was questions every fifteen pages. My notebook was full of answers and questions. All from the book. I sighed as I copied out the roughly scrawled answers. Adding bits and pieces and laughing at mistakes I had made whilst involved in a fury of writing.

 

I remember writing theses I was so bored after the teacher had been drawling on reading her favorite speeches and asking about them; she asked us to do the first fifteen questions. I had become so obsessed with the book in that half an hour I had even forgotten to eat lunch. ‘Are you quite done napping Tori?’ She asked more than a little annoyed. ‘That’s not my name.’ I cursed her mentally, why did thy all call me that. ‘Yes it is, you refused to be called anything but that in nursery.’ She replied annoyance definite in her tone.

 

‘Well done you, you've obvously upgarded yourself. You may pretend to know my face, my voice and my persona but you don’t know me. I have never been called Tori. Not in my life.’ I replied clenching my teeth. I already hated the nickname. Not that it was a bad one, my mother never called me it. It wasn’t my name it was another person’s name. Another girl who’s brain once portrayed this body.

 

‘Don’t get snarky tori.’ She replied rolling her eyes. ‘Don’t. Call. Me. That.’ I ground out, the bell blazed and I quickly stood slamming my sheet down on her desk. ‘So you really hate the name Tori?’ Brad asked looking down at his phone, bumping into me two minutes later. ‘If I told you when I burped bubbles came out of my nose it would be half way around the school within the next step wouldn’t it.’ I replied angrily.

 

‘Probably. Can you say that all again?’ He replied holding his phone at an awkward angle and grinning. ‘What does your mom call you?’ He asked already sliding in the knowledge he’d gained earlier. I blushed and snorted ‘Like I’d tell you!’ I replied laughing hard. ‘Well what do your friends call you?’ He asked gripping my arms and making me stop. ‘Nothing, I wasn’t aloud any.’ I replied, the wall already more interesting. ‘A boyfriend?’ He asked looking suspicious. ‘Vic, Victoria. V. I don’t know none of them lasted long, I was never in one place long enough for anything real.’ I replied shrugging. ‘V, I like it.’ He replied smiling. ‘Really, cause every time you say that I think you’re talking to my actual V not my me!’ I whispered harshly blushing.

 

‘That bothers you doesn’t it V?’ He asked, I slapped his arm and squealed as his hands attacked my sides with a torrent of tickles. ‘You are horrid!’ I half screamed at him breathless, instead of being helpless I slapped his arm again. ‘Abuse! Did anyone just see that? V’s abusing me!’ He shouted laughing at my horrorstruck expression. ‘You are truly some concoction of horrid!’ I called out spluttering, but truly this was nice. I really hadn’t had real friends for years. I had people who clung on to me because I was the new girl, the freak but other than that I was soon shipped of somewhere else.

 

‘Stop attacking me and take me to my next class already!’ I called out after people stopped staring at us. Stupid small towns. Stupid A levels, I can’t wait to be 18. I can’t wait to have real friends and a real life. ‘Well my darling V, you have music. You play?’ He asked looking incredulous.

Incredulous

Chapter 8

 

Incredulous hints that someone or something is hard to believe or unconvinced. That person is unable to believe something is the way it is or purely not wanting to believe it in the first place.

 

I smiled at Brad, ‘Yea I play Piano, kick major ass and sleep a lot – your point is?’ I asked grinning I swear I was a living contradiction or something. ‘Jeez girl couldn’t you just stick to one hobby?’ He asked snorting and leading me up the grey stair case, it was full of pictures my eyes weren’t interested in. ‘I did – I kick ass. My mom’s hobby was to get me to play and my dad’s was running with me.’ I replied hopping that my mom still taught and my farther still ran. I hope they were happy. ‘Your family is bats’ he informed me not hiding his kind smile. ‘Yep that we are.’ I smile – he left me at the door of the very nice practice room. It has beautiful instruments all around the room. Guitars, Chellos and flutes that would normally shine and catch my eye even though I’ve never tried to play them.

 

In the middle of the room lies the most beautiful piano ever. Its white, the image of a white rose springs into my mind. One that lies in the sun with rain glistening off of it. The sides and legs as engraved with swirls that are found normally on that of a nineteenth century bed. The closer I walk into the room the more I see the gold lining the engraves. I sign and sit on the window seat running my hands over the ivory keys. My fingers spread out and begin playing even though I didn’t want them to. I didn’t want to lose myself. No one can heal the world with that of simple yet beautiful piano. As soon as the first note is stuck that thought fly’s from my thoughts.

 

I ignore the book in front me knowing what I was going to play before I do.

 

My fingers picking a beat my brain respond to. My ears and heart already have, there’s no room for thinking when your fingers have control.

 

One hand plays dark deep notes whist my voice sings a popular song but my hearts not in it. I sigh and stop singing, I focus on the notes. Closing my eyes I remember the first day I walked into a music class. I must have been around seven, I had already started fighting but I never seemed to have the grace that Lexi portrayed whilst she played.

 

A boy sneered at me saying my tiny hands wouldn’t be able to reach. That he was better at me, so similar to what some said before I kicked there buts (I was seven but is as bad as it came back then). I played my hands on the board and closed my eyes, I pictured where her fingers were. I was so mesmerized that I even began playing, the notes weren’t as fast or as good as hers but I could do it.

 

As soon as my Mom came to collect me in school she asked me why I punched the kid. I replied he deserved it, we didn’t mention it again but she began teaching me herself. She had told my dad that I needed more energy releasing activities and a week later we were running partners.

 

I keep my eyes closed. I remember the notes. I remember the sounds. I just need my fingers to show me. And then I was playing it. The song that taunted my dreams so beautifully. The keys were cool and slick under my hands. The seat was comfortable though my back did ache. I didn’t know how long I’d been sat here now.

‘You’re good but that wasn’t yours.’ A voice called from the door, it echoed and rumbled around me. I began playing something softer, it was almost like butterfly kisses. I didn’t want to open my eyes so I didn’t. I didn’t mind the guy in the doorway.

 

‘No your right it wasn’t.’ I replied smiling softly. ‘Are you my new teacher?’ I asked my foot bouncing up and down. ‘I don’t know am I?’ He asked me, I could hear his smile before heard it. ‘Can you play something of yours?’ He asked. I nodded automatically playing a song I knew by heart.

 

I never knew you,

Even if I wanted too.

I can’t see you,

I can’t hear you.

 

Your voice doesn’t echo through my head,

Your tear doesn’t fall down my cheek

Even though you’re not here standing beside me.

 

I never knew you,

Even if I wanted too.

I can’t see you,

I can’t hear you.

 

I can’t wonder if she’s proud

I can’t try.

 

I can’t shed a tear for someone who was never there,

 

 

You were lost to me

Never found in a closet or a picture

You aren’t a memory

You aren’t in my heart.

 

 

I never knew you,

Even if I wanted too.

I can’t see you,

I can’t hear you.

 

You’re not here standing beside me!

You can’t tell me good night with a smile.

You’re not standing here beside me.

Even though you saved my life.

I don’t know you…

 

My voice trails off defeated. I sigh knowing the song was ridiculous, it was the first song I had even written. It helps me remember why I play. I open my eyes and meet the almost chocolate browns of the man standing still. His hair is a mess of curls that seriously needed brushing. Over his small nose was a sprinkling of freckles, he was tall and thin. Wearing jeans with holes in them and a nicely fitting blue jumper. His sneakers stuck out from underneath.

 

I smiled I liked that he didn’t look serious or moodily like most of my old teacher (Lexi the exception). ‘Hi, I’m Victoria.’ I told him feeling better. He walked into the room slowly and sat next to a guitar, picking it up he played a few random strings before leaving it in his arms. ‘Ah the infamous’ He replied winking at me devilishly, to which I quickly rolled my eyes. ‘I’m…’ He didn’t get to finish. ‘Mr White, there’s kids fighting again!’ A small voice called from outside, he sighed ‘We’ll pick this up tomorrow. Go to the library or something.’ He told me before leaving the room at a quick jog. Well that was odd. I thought gathering my bag – it was nearly ten anyway – lunch was in fifteen minutes.

 

Instead of heading to the Library liked he’d asked I wanted to check out the rest of the second floor. I quickly exited the room and walked over to where music seemed to echo down the hallway. The grey carpets were ugly but what else is to be expected? It’s a dance studio. There was a bunch of what I presumed popular girls and they were dancing and giggling to the music – something about shaking their butts. I rolled my eyes and walked passed – they looked to be only around twelve. That took up the whole of this side of the hallway. Turning left (which was weird the classrooms were supposed to be on my right not my left- the hallways surrounded the outside of the classrooms) I found more classrooms. This one led to a big art studio – another beside it. Weird that music and art was on the same floor – I think the rooms were sound proofed until the doors opened.

 

What appeared to be a drama room was next. This took up the whole of the second to last side. On the last there was people fighting, more importantly brad was holding his bleeding nose. I jogged up to him and fetched a spare bunch of tissues from a plastic packet that I'd shoved into my bag at some point. ‘Here. Keep your face elevated.’ I told him – giving him a bunch. My music teacher stood next to a small girl of around twelve, she was truly tiny. Her long brown hair was braided down her back.

 

Devon stood beside her looking angry more with himself than anyone else, I thought he’d hit his brother until the stupid guy from earlier pranced passed grinning, licking his lips once he passed the little kid. ‘Leave her alone you jack ass.’ I whispered when he passed me. ‘And what will you do princess?’ He asked in that condescending voice of his. A girl with red hair skipped up to him  ( stinking of hair dye and somthing rotting) and linked her arm through his – she wore all black (if you could say all, she was barely wearing anything) her boots looked massive for her tiny frame. She hissed at me and took a step toward the little girl.

 

‘I said leave her.’ I said louder this time, stepping in front of this bitch. ‘She’s ours.’ She whispered, voice like the purr of a cat. ‘No one is yours.’ I retorted crossing my hands over my chest. ‘Darling get the walking blood bag away from me before I take a sip.’ She whispered, I nearly cringed – what the actual fuck? Ew. ‘Try it.’ I hissed back sounding surer of myself then I had in a long time. I didn’t like people who threatened others. Especially if they wore very cute school uniforms (mening she was in A levels – five years ahead or more of her the uniform wearer) ‘Your momma ever told you not to pick on kids?’ I asked with a sour expression. ‘Shut up Tori everyone knows it was yours that taught me manners.’ She snarled trying to pull out of Landons amused hold. ‘You know what he said darling, soon can’t you feel it?’ He asked sounding gleeful. Did he mean Calvin? The creep from yesterday?  How did she know my mother? I shudder involuntary and the guy – Landon? Grinned.

 

‘What is coming?’ I asked stepping forward – I could almost feel her breath on my face, it creeped me out but I wasn’t about to back down now. The girl sneered again outwardly laughing at me. ‘Oh you should know Tori, you’re the only one who got away. Your the reason I'm here’ She retreated laughing down the corridor. 

 

 

Misplaced distrust

Chapter 9

 

To trust someone is one thing, it's a given. You don't trust strangers unless your well stupid or trusting. But when you don't know where years of your life were spent mistrust is your life style. Mistrust could be my second name, it literally could be. 

 

I stared after the girl with a sence of da ja vo, it was odd. Of course I've felt this before but it was almost like this conversation should have gone diffrently. Once it may have. Her stupid swaying hips matched her just as stupid devils grin. Something was going on here. The girl rapped herself around Landon 'Bethany come on darlin.' He called. 

 

Bethany? Where have I heard that before? 'Beth.' I gasped out. I remembered. There was a short girl at the end of my bed. 'Tor?' She called, her voice as soft as her curley brown hair. Dressed in light clothes that never matched. She bounched up and down on the spot. 'Hi I'm your crazy best friend.' She called out smiling bigger. I couldnt help it. Something in me craved to smile back. She was so innocent, so friendly. All of the horrible things I had, had to sit and listen to over and over since waking. She was the only nice thing left. 

 

Beth. What if beth is my fault. I dropped my bag onto the floor, I remember somthing else. Something in a picture? I knelt beside it, scrambling for a picture I know was somewhere there. Sighing I pulled out an old beaten purse, opening it revealed a array of pictures - some mine some hers. The first revealed a pictue of my two mothers, the second a baby picture of me the third a picture of me and my farther - Beth smiling in the back ground. My mothers purse. And there we sat side by side, on a hospital bed. Me covered in so many scraped and bruises holding her hand so tightly it was as white as bone. This wasn't her picture it was the first of mine. Above us a dark and dingy window. Even dinger was the figure that leaned in. 

 

My hand shook and wouldn't stop. What ever chaced me, it had caught beth. She was my fault. I personally didnt know her, but something in me did. Something in me knew she was lost. I wanted to find her, I wanted to find myself but how? 

 

Watch me, I almost whispered to myself. 'It stopped bleeding?' I asked Brad not quite turning to him. 'Could have.' He shrugged not paying attention either. I went up on my tip toes and pulled his arm away, it had but blood covered his face. 'Did you miss you morning bath dracular?' I asked not quiet able to giggle. 'Ew, girl I do not want to drink your blood.' He replied smiling down at the small girl standing beside his brother. She giggled up at him causing him to grin crookidly at her. 'Score nine thousand and fifty seven to us.' He called out winking. 'Shut up and go wash your face you grub.' She mock shouted at him, was it me or was she immatating - well me? 'Ew Dani i think I got a little on your face!' He called out mock chasing her. 'Brad quit chasing her.' My music teacher called out sounding exhaused and more like an older brother than a teacher. 'Yes dad.' He replied rolling his eyes. 

 

'Dev you okay?' Mr white asked him. 'I'm fine just go do your job.' Devon repplied annoyed, his face tight with anger and fustration. 'My job?' Mr white mouthed. 'Shit.' He said turning to me, placing a fake smile on his face. 'What are you still doing here?' He asked sounding annoyed. 'Erm well, Brads kinda my tour guide...' I muttered not seeing him or Dani anywhere. Dang it, I sighed and walked away myself. 

 

My stomach growled and I pulled out my phone. 

 

I know I'm so amazing that you never want to leave me - but wheres the dinner court?

 

The what now? 

 

Lunch hall?

 

Phahaha

 

Dining hall place, dude come on I don't want to be stuck with your brother and Mr white - save me.

 

 

I sighed when a blood free Brad finally found me, trying to dodge being hit by people stampeeding down the stairs. 'Haven't made any friends yet V?' He asked creeping up behind me and whispering in my ear. 'No, have you?' I asked in responce sounding suprisengly sincere. He chuckled and took my arm. 'For real though, you've never really had a boyfriend?' He asked waiting for the punch line or something. 'I don't suppose I have, something in me is always rearing to run.' I whispered hoping no one would hear me. He looked down into my face, searcing for something. If he found it he never told me. Sighing I turned away 'forget it I'm no longer hungry.' I whispered, I felt depressed not hungry. How could such a small town, in such a small time destroy me so? I saw my locker and jogged to it, throwing all of my things inside I felt lighter. Mentally and physically. Without a second thought I threw my phone in. Something in me clicked into place. This was meant to be. 

 

The doors were infront of me, I couldn't help it. Just like had whispered, the outside called to me. I could almost feel Brad tensing, but someone called his name. Before he could call after me I pushed my way through the people. I needed a break. From this, from everything. 

 

The cold air hit me with full force. No one was retreating into the frigid air. Into the gentle rain, to me though it felt like heaven. I didn't need a partner for this freedom dance, no this was a solo compertition and I was rearing to win. I couldn't see anyone through the light rain, which seemed to wash away all remaining doubts. I belonged here. My feet a solid slap, slap on the concerate. Quicking when my heart did. Sometimes music was the only thing that could heal me, this stupid wet sound though? That was joy it's self. 

 

The day was miserable, I felt miserable. But with ever single step something in me beagn to heal. For the first time in day's I felt 'Okay'. I didn't have to lie. I didn't have to feign strength. The car park full of it's multicouloured dissaray of cars slowly beagn to seep away. The further I ran, the closer to the trees I came. Closer to the darkness. Closer to the dinge mirror of my soul. 

 

Here I could be unhappy alone. With no one trying to make me smile because that was the right thing to do. I'm not okay, somewhere closer to it. But I never quite could reach it. Bursting through the shrubery at top speed, lungs and thys burning. Rain leeking down in slow revlets down my face. 

 

I let out a gasp, it was like no light could seep through. Quickly my eyes adjusted. My eyes scanning the ground for objects threatning to trip me. Dodging through badly placed trees was exhilurating, this close you could see all of the shades of green and brown. How the water droplets magnified what ever lay benith. Deamons seemed to chace me, leading me to something. Left. Everything in me called to the left. Like I had to go there. I must. 

 

I turned left, almost tripping over my own feet in my own haste. After a few minuets I nearly ran back, that was before I saw the figures on the ground. One above the other. The first small, curled in a ball. The second bigger, hideously so. Mostrous. 'What are you doing?' I half gasped half shouted. 'Can you not leave me for a minuet darling Tori?' Landon. 'What are you doing to her?' I asked, he apeared to be crouching over a small figure. 'Helping little Danni out.' He replied. I took a tentitive step forward. True to his word, he was pulling her out of a tight patch of mud. 'Gonna stand there?' He asked sounding a little out of breath. 'Maybe.' I replied grabbing her other hand, with a coupple of gentle yanks she was out of the tough patch. 

 

'Whatta you doin' out here sweetie?' I asked not letting go of her clammy hand. 'I-i saw something go in. So I followed.' She replied. 'Voices?' I asked glaring at Landon, there stupid tricks again. 'Yeah!' she repplied looking between the two of us, we both still gripped her hand. We both glared at one another before letting go. 'She safe to return?' I ground out. 'Wasn't us.' He replied through cleanched teeth. 'Go little one.' I ordered her gently, she nodded looking at me concerned. After a terse nod she left, she didn't belong with his sort. 

 

'What kind of game are you playing and what other freaks lore people into the dark?' I asked him annoyed, standing unmoved. 'Moi? I am a little hurt mon cher. ' He replied placing his hand over his heart having the cheek to look offended. 'Yes. Does it still beat?' I asked half joking. 'For now.' He retorted looking deadly serious. I hate that word. Deadly. No one should be that dangrous. 

 

He grabbed my hand and placed it against his heart, it pumped slowly. Like he shouldn't be freezing. Like his heart shouldn't be beating over time to heat him. Like he shouldn't have goosebumps or be shivering. He was cool, not hot nor cold. Cool, like he was standing in the middle of a heated room. I took a step closer. 'What is going on here? What did you do to my friend?' I asked holding his eyes. 'Me personally, nothing. Don't you think I'm a little young to convert her.' Convert. What a weird word to use. 'Calvin?' I asked. 'Spoilers. Giffs and plain cheating there doll.' He replied taking my arm through his, effectivly removing it from his heart that had begain beating faster. It had been Calvin. 

 

'What has he done to you, all of you?' I asked holding his freezing cold eyes. 'Nothing that we didn't secretly want. Deep down, Tori, you want it too.' He whispered taking a step even closer. He bent his head and rest it against mine. I should feel odd. I should run screaming freak, instead I stood still. Something about him to me to. Something in me wanted to. Another part of me knew this was wrong. That I could be hurt. That I was in danger. And the first part? Well it loved this. 'What have they done to you? To beth - I remember her. She's the only person I remember. We were out. Something was chasing us. But we fell over. And then nothing. What happened?' I almost screamed, instead it came out in a pathetic whisper. 

 

Slowly his nose slipped down mine. Slowly his lips crept towards my own. Freezing and burning. Thats what kissing Landon was like. Something in me was frozen and the other half burning. Something in me was tearing. I'm pretty sure I was officially two people. The monstrous calm before the storm half. And the other. But did I want to stick around to find out what it was? 

 

I pushed myself up on my tip toes, effectively giving him control over my body. Effectively giving away my free will. Nothing. Thats what I was thinking about. Nothing. 

 

His lips were soft, hands the safe zone between cool and warm. Resting on the skin above my exposed hip bone. My own rested around his neck. His teeth gently grazed my lip and a moan escaped me. This was wrong. So wrong. He pulled away grinning. 'Your trapped now Tori.' He whispered stepping away. The freezing feeling returned with a rush of wind. I felt dirty and wrong, but couldn't help that feeling of exhiluration when he smiled at me. 

 

'We have class.' He sang snagging my hand and tugging me back the way we came.

 

 

The passive resistance

Chapter 10

 

 

Don't get a whole lot of pacifism these days do we. I'm a pacifist. Smack - but I'm totally a realist. Pacifism is where you wish not to face violence, do everything thing in your power to have no physical encounter. Realists look at the situation and think fuck it, and do anything in the power to survive. It's clear which one I am. I'm still here, but what if i didn't always have to fight?

 

 

'You don't know anything about us, so why are you so opposed to my friends?' His smile curled at the ends at the word friend. 'Mmm cause they tried to break into my house? Stalked me on my run. Turned my best friend into a queen bit- bee.' I replied rolling my eyes. With each footfall reality set in. Regret and repulsion spasmed my body. 'Then why did you kiss me Victoria?' He asked, the grin in his voice made me want to punch him. 'For the record you kissed me.' I replied going to take a step forward. I once again raised myself on my tiptoes and leaned forward. traced my finger nails roughly over his skin before turning on my heel and walking away. Away from him and away from the tranquility. His laughter bombed around me. 'This never ends well.' He called out after his little laughing episode. Rolling my eyes I stood back onto the ground. The car pack, it was now absolutely chucking it down. Within seconds I was not only wet but drenched.

 

 

Rolling my eyes I stride across the path, which my account took far too long. In the doorway stood an angry looking Brad, Beth and others I didn't even know. 'Brad darling, I'm not only a pretty face I can look after myself.' I told him loud enough to give the whole crowd of people to leave. Nothing to see. 'She's right. Now leave.' Landon called out, his voice so close behind me made my whole body want to clench. I didn't. Instead I straightened, turned around. 'Are you quite done?' I asked him raising an eyebrow. It's fine, I'm good. I breathed in a slow breath waiting for his answer. 'I will never be done with you.' He mock whispered and leaned down, kissing my cheek - causing not only Beth to hiss. 'But darling’ I am so done with you.' I called out laughing, turning back around I grabbed Brad's arm and walked away.

 

 

My body began to shake, just the whole of it. 'You're okay.' He whispered placing his arm around me. 'He was with Danni, she was stuck in the mud. I got her out and sent her packing - you found her?' I asked concern for the little girl dragged me down. 'She's with my brother, come on this way.' He replied dragging me into the first class room only to find it occupied. 'Sorry.' He called jogging - and pulling me to the next one - finding it empty he pulled me inside. 'Tell me what you remember.' He asked softly.

 

 

'Well, erm. We found her and she was stuck. We got her out and I asked him if she was safe to return, he said they didn't lore her out there, but she stated she heard voices. I asked if his heart beats and he said for now, but he was cool, no goosebumps or anything. Brad he was in a t shirt. His heart was steady but beat faster when I mentioned Calvin. I asked about Beth, he said he was to young to convert her, to what his gang? What is going on here? The jerk even kissed me!' I said appalled at myself for liking it. 'What else did he say?' He asked sounding more than a little concerned. 'That... That I was trapped.' I replied my head sagging forward. I felt sick, I felt faint worse than all though; I felt doomed.

 

 

'We can deal with this V, I promise. I can fix this.' He promised me, stepping forward placing his warm arms around me. Heating me instantly. My head rested over his heart, and the fast thud, thud reassured me. Great one way to check if their creeps is by a slow heartbeat. What kind of drugs... No it's much worse than that.

 

 

'What happened before?' I asked, really though I wanted to ask what's wrong with me. Why couldn't I remember. What had I done that was so awful. What had they done to me, to us. 'Calm down.' He whispered into the top of my head, my heart raced, my breath was sparse. Something was wrong, panic attack? Was I prone to them? Is this what they feel like?

 

 

'Shh you're okay.' He informed me, like I really was. I almost believed him. Instead I laughed, 'was I ever okay?' I asked sounding calmer. 'Maybe, can I check your brain?' he asked already looking through my hair. 'What..?' I half asked. 'Nope.' He informed me. 'Huh?' He made a tutting sound and lifted my chin up, I looked into his calm eyes. 'You were never okay.' I snorted and pulled back muttering idiot. 'Come on we have gym.' He told me smiling a small private smile. 'Welcome to World war three.' He muttered almost to himself, grabbing a Physical E.d kit from my locker - they were basketball shorts and a baggy t shirt. I'm pretty sure they were his. 'They'll be massive on me.' I half complained but secretly I was thinking at least I had my own trainers.

 

 

'Let's do it.' He ordered with a devilish grin, something in me knew I was going to regret this. We walked right from where what appeared to be the cafeteria. Down the hall from there was two entrances, on the left wall was a guy's bathroom and straightforward was the girls changing room. 'On the other side next to the stairs is the guys.' He told me nodding at the toilets. I smiled and opened one of the off white, peeling painted doors. They were old like those with the weird glass that looked like the maths paper with all the little boxes on it. Walking through left three possible entrances, straight forward - which was where most of the noise was coming from, left and up the stairs which seemed to almost go back on themselves and to the right, which must lead to the gym itself.

 

 

Sighing I walked into the changing room, girls stopped unchanging and stared. Let me tell you, when you walk into a room and everyone is half unchanged and staring at you. Yeah a little weird. 'I come in pieces?' I squeaked out throwing my things down on the closest bench. Kicking off my shoes I quickly pulled up my ankle socks, girls gasped at the skull and crossbones tattooed there. Well they're gonna be shocked about the one on my back. I thought drily. I quickly pulled off my jeans and pulled on the shorts. They came down to my knees, and the black stood out against my pale legs. The number 21 written in white. His shirt had no arms and showed off my sports bra - I was down with that. Girls shot me sneers and looks I didn't want to recognise. Yhea Brad could be seen as hot but I'm not here to freaking date. Sighing I shoved my feet back into my shoes and shoved my short hair behind my ears.

 

 

I left without a word, throwing all my clothes on the bench and glaring at those still staring at me. I walked back out of the door and into the gym room itself. It was scuffed and banged around. The floor was clean and didn't stink of B.O which was nice. The walls were covered with gymnastic climbing frames, basketball hoops and doors that would cave in if more than one person came too close to them. Some guys were already jogging laps. Devon looking angrily at the ground among them. I shrugged to myself and jogged behind them.

 

 

I was half a lap behind them and that was fine by me. I didn't need any more people looking at me with a microscope. Brad and his stupid smile was enough for me. Talking of brad where was he? I felt that creepy being watched feeling and then Landon came in through the entrance on the other side. The side I was running towards. 'Fuck.' I muttered and sped up. Could I get past? No he turned towards me and grinned. Bastard. Clear your expression. Count your heartbeats or something. Erm, no it's fine.

 

 

He watched me like an animal, leaning on the wall waiting for me to pass him. Fine, I can do this. As soon as I was in the five feet vicinity I sprinted, faster than I had in ages. Every single part of my body wanted away from him. I past him in a blur, hearing him cuss almost made me lose my footing. Instead I just caught up to the guys running ahead and as soon as I passed their suprised expressions I slowed a little. Unsure whether anyone would approach me again.

 

And then someone did. 'You smell like wet dog, its most repulsing.' Beth, I ignored her whisper. The way her breath seemed to move the breath on the back of my neck. The way my stomach clenched. My fingers crawled into fists. 'You also smell like Landon, its most confusing. Which side will you choose?' She sang in her sweet high voice. How was I ever friends with her, she was creepy? Okay that was a little mean. I sighed and looked down at my feet. I rolled my shoulders and sped up, could I lose her? Answer no. I am kinda in doors, there are such things as cutting corners. Instead I stopped, with shouts of complaint the runners behind me bustled past. I crept backwards whilst she was pushed forwards. Finding myself in the middle of a group of strangers wasnt idea but preferable. I ran in step with the rest of those running around me, to worried I would be spotted if I missed a stride. Spotting Brad smiling across the room gave me an idea, I slowed down, still not breaking the synchronized run.

 

 

When I reached the back I broke and waited until brad spotted me, sighing with relief and grinned back at him. 'You really don't like her do you?' He asked laughing, she was still being shoved forward with such a look of outrage on her face. I bent over and cracked up. I couldn't help it her expression was so funny. 'So do they normally run like that? Like Idiosyncrasy?' I asked confused. 'Idio what now? Doesn't that mean something odd or weird and don't you eat it?' He asked confused. 'It has three meanings actually 'A structural or behavioral trait peculiar to an individual or group. A physiological or temperamental peculiarity. An unusual individual reaction to food or a drug.' So basically something like them running in sync thats weird.' I informed him before quoting the dictionary. 'Page number, line?' He asked snorting at me. I stuck my tongue out and ran to the gym teacher standing in the middle of the room.

 

 

Gym time, aces. Just what I wanted, I looked at the sweating gym teacher standing ahead of us. I could visibly see him sweating from where I stood ten feet away. The upper lip was lined with little drops of it. I swallowed back the bile building in the back of my throat. If I was about to teach some of the guys that stood next to me, I would be sweating too.   This guy must have been five foot five if that. Those who surrounded us were on the upper side of six foot. Muscle busting where brains were lacking, well even I had to admit that was a little mean. Nevertheless, the guys jostling each other looked like meat heads. With their three quarter length shorts and ‘wife beater’ style tank tops.

 

 

 Stained or that awful off white colour, then there was the ‘pale ones’, the ones who were cold like the guy I do not mention. The ones with the odd coloured eyes. Then the occasional warm and too moody types like Brad and Devon. I wondered what was going on here, why the people were clothed so differently. The ones like the guy I didn't mention weren't grouped together, no their expensive clothed selves were found all around the room chatting or laughing with or at individuals. Brad and Deven stuck to people similarly dressed like themselves, they weren't dressed with stupidly expensive brands, nor were they dressed in tescos best.   

 

They looked normal, like they should fit in. Grouped in the middle the stood out. A smaller group stood to the side, the ones who appeared quiet or dressed I supposed down in comparison. And fair play to them, this was freaking gym not the summer ball. I snorted and walked over to the smaller group. The coach was still talking to individuals and sweating, well like a pig I suppose.

 

  ‘Do you think I fit?’ I asked a guy who hung back from the smaller group, I pointed down at my attire and watched as he snorted. ‘Barely.’ He replied with a tight smile. ‘Well I suppose you can guess which group has a stick up their asses.’ I muttered looking over to where Beth lounged over Landon's arm, he saw me looking and slowly raised his eyebrow. Yet again I snorted and turned away. ‘I’d mind what you say if I were you.’ He told me quietly, grabbing the cigarette from behind his ear and rolling it in his fingers. Who brings cigarettes to gym? I thought perplexed.  

 

‘I have a habit of doing the opposite.’ I replied almost laughing and catching his cigarette and he threw it in the air. He glared at me until I passed it back with a little grin. I looked into his light brown eyes, they appeared honey like, his skin was pale. Why wasn’t he with the other pales? I asked myself silently. ‘I have a habit of being a loner.’ He muttered back walking away from me, closer to the other group. And before I shock you to death I don’t mean the other pales. No, I mean he walked straight towards Deven, the grouchie one. He said something, shook his head and turned to leave. I watched as Deven turned towards him slowly, placing his hand on his arm, looking straight into his face and quietly whispered to him until he nodded.

 

 

 What did I say? I asked myself. Sighing I turned away, I suppose here no one's normal. I suppose everyone here has something shoved up their own ass. Brad called my name and I turned to see him throw a ball straight at my face. I caught it before I was left pin wheeling and falling ass first on the ground or something. I laughed and dropped the ball waiting for it to bounce before I kicked it straight at his stomach. Which he caught easily with a step back, I sighed that was a good kick I was proud of it. ‘Basketball or football?’ He asked throwing me a perfect dunk. I snorted and shrugged. ‘Either, you’ll get whooped whatever we play.’ I called out. He threw the football in the air before catching it again. ‘Allie, Sam. Dev, Char wanna rematch ladies?’ He asked a group of people I didn’t know.   Char - the pale face from earlier smiled uneasily. Wherst Allie or Sam I couldn't tell which yet grinned openly. She was dressed in dark three quarter length joggers and a black top. Her dark brown hair was braided down her back and her eyes shone with the dark makeup surrounding them. ‘Let’s do it.’ Deven muttered darkly, though he did look a little pleased.

 

Brad jogged back towards the guys entrance and we followed him, straight through the little corridor - which smelt like old ass by the way, there were three doors - on the left looked to be the teacher's office, on the left led to the guys stench and straight forward led to another hallway. On the left was the guy's bathroom, straight forward led to the stairs I went down earlier and to the left was a door leading to a big empty field with bare goal posts begging to be scored.   

 

Char was smaller than both Brad and his even bigger brother Dev, but he was leaner too. He seemed wiry, strong but thin. He had the possibility to be fast even though he was also shorter than both. His dark hair covered his eyes but he seemed to like it that way. He seemed to lack the life that Brad seemed to just have buckets off. He bounced and dribbled the ball even though no one was near him, Dev was neither still or in motion. He seemed to own each footstep he took and didn't care what he stood on. Looking at the darker of the too girls was strange, she seemed to fit in with these guys, wherest what could only be said to be her brighter twin did not.  

 

Instead of almost black hair the other girl had almost blond hair. Her face was filled with freckles from spending too much time in the sun, laughter and smiles always seemed to lighten her olive face. Brad jogged past me kicking the ball in a direction next to me, instead of letting it past I jumped forward and kicked the ball to the lighter one of the twins who giggled and kicked it to her sister. Who promptly took off running towards the empty goal. Char seeing it empty took off in a serous sprint. Gaining on her faster than should be possible. He tackled her from behind and quickly took control over the ball.  

 

I didn’t want to chance it, I already turned tail and sprinted past the surprised looking Devon and towards our own goal. Seconds later I heard footsteps following me. I laughed and sped up, stopping and turning when the goal was close enough. I turned around and walked backwards slowly, still wanting to get closer to the goal. Is that not off side?’ I asked Char was up near Allie, Sam. Brad was behind Dev already passing him the ball. ‘Now it is.’ He called out laughing as he kicked the ball in the goals general direction. I dived and caught the ball, and mud scrapes. Jumping back up to my feet I kicked the ball as far as I could, the lighter hair coloured twin sprinted towards it.   ‘You're alright V.’ Brad called out taking a seat by me, flopping on the floor with zero dignity. I giggled and tried not to glare at him, the more I reacted to the nickname the more he’d call me it.

 

 

  ‘Better than you Princess.’ I told him crossing my arms as he grabbed a pair of goalie gloves from his pockets, throwing them at me he grinned as the came up short. ‘Yea, I doubt they’ll fit me.’ I told him looking down at the discarded gloves. ‘There smalls I checked.’ He replied jumping back to his feet and snatched them up. He strolled over and grabbed my hand gently. Pushing my hand into one he didn't the velcro up. I held my hand in the air and did the same with the other, it was evident by the size difference in my hands that they were way to big. Immediately he cracked up and his brother kicked the ball at the back of his head, I cracked up too and threw my glove at his ducked head. ‘Ow!’ He called out turning around and ‘booting’ as some call it, the ball at his brother. Deven dodged the ball and rugby tackled his brother to the floor.

 

 

The two rolled around for a minute only as brothers can before Char walked over calmly and sat on them both. Causing the darker twin ( pretty sure I’d heard her being called sam) to jump on top and then even Allie piled on, I spotted the ball looking lonely and sprinted past them and kicked the ball, running towards the goal I heard Brad shout seconds before I scored. Giggling I turned and nearly banged into Char. ‘I win.’ I called  out breathing heavily but more surprised at how quickly he'd managed to untangle himself and be right behind me.  jogging back to the other end of the pitch. ‘Sneaky. I like it.’ The lighter haired twin called high fiving me, Allie? 'You were the destruction, technically you did half the work.' I replied slapping her hand before turning back to Brad. 'You really don't like gloves do you?' He asked holding the floppy glove in the air. 'Only yours.' I replied giggling and jogging back to my place in goal.

 

Impressum

Tag der Veröffentlichung: 04.09.2015

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