Creating " This Girl"

I woke up with that drag sort i don't want to get out of bed feeling. To top it all off my bags were at door making me more pissed than usual on my miserable Monday bitch mode attitude. Did Steven actually think took his money that mysteriously went missing. I mean nobody's and angel but i at least thought my moral goodness and the fact that we knew each other a long time made him think otherwise but apparently no one was to be trusted in his eyes. I was offended at first but then it hit me i was completely innocent i could careless because the guilt wasn't on my shoulders. So i smiled to myself, i was going home tonight anyway. I missed my soft warm bed and my spacious room. Our little commune at Reba's place was nice but too much time with everyone made me crave my own space. I'd cling to my room for the next 2 weeks while i still had because at the end of this 2 week period we'd be moving into a new house. Compared to the house we currently lived in, we referring to my mom, gran, and little sister, this house was a little bit of a downgrade. My room would be smaller and the bathrooms weren't as nice “bleh". 

And then i got to work. Monday morning and i was still ranting about my pay that was sort on Friday. The Witch that should be spelled with a capital "B" of course found a way to make life more difficult for me as usual. I really shouldn't have been surprised last Friday when half my pay was missing, of course she would wait until the week i missed work because of a sprained ankle to change the sick benefits policy. Just so i had to drag my ass all the way to the Social Security office to obtain the remainder of my paycheck. I needed this job so unfortunately i had to bite my tongue and put up her immature behavior. Thank God this was only temporary until i could find something better because everything about this place pestered my nerves on a daily basis.

For God sakes i wanted to be a singer or musician or writer. I know my life was much more than just a crappy minimum waged call center agent. I may not have a degree but trust me i happened to be much smarter than some of those nitwits that ended up with government jobs, with all those benefits. I am determined to make myself a legend, more than these trite everyday twenty years around here, Since i would be twenty in a couple months. I would prove that "This Girl", would prove to be superior compared to "those girls" that followed. Yes im referring to my work and current relationship status, the none existent one. He broke up with me. He referring to my ex Rob and i finally decided that  i wouldn’t try to it  figure out anymore, because it was his loss anyway.  Plus his dick was small anyway and who would he date anyway trying to maintain his virgin status. I only gave him Bj's, some dumb inconsiderate slut would break his heart and he would regret leaving me like all my exes do. I would not chase i would just replace him. I would set my own destiny because i was no longer that calm meek thing i use to be i had created "this girl".

 

Real Friends and what i really needed

 

So yesterday ended pretty crappy, but you might have guessed that because it was fairly obvious. Who would have thought that my own friend would accuse me stealing? That was some stellar, serious, stupid shit, in my opinion. It took something like this for me to isolate my thoughts and pin point my friends, who really were my friends and what they actually thought of me. A friend wasn’t really a friend if they could smile in front of your face and act like complete assholes behind your back. I may be a total bitch when I want to be, but I cried last night because I thought that he thought much more highly of me. Instead he just highly suspected me.  This would be a rain on anyone’s parade, especially mine.

As I got home I just ignore the thoughts of Steven and his ridiculous accusation. I took a long warm shower, and trust it was needed. After ten months of not getting it in I had to do something to help my burning urge to grab a random guy and throw him down in bed. Of course i wouldn’t literally do that, I had standards. I wouldn’t say I’m shallow but looks were kind of important along with personality, intelligence, ambition and of course recently added to list size. Size wasn’t really an issue when I was in high school and still a virgin. Recently that has changed because once you experience a real orgasm there’s really is no going back.  He may be sweet and all but if you’re not satisfied, what are you really going to do. You’ll be forced to either become the teacher and run the risk of him thinking you are a bit skanky or fake orgasms the rest of your life. Neither of those options seemed fitting for me.

After my long shower I went in my bed chatted for a little bit. My old friend bombarding me with complements because I was single. Sure he was very nice to talk to but he simply wasn’t my type. I would never see him as anything more than a friend, God bless his little heart all his effort was noted. Then I went to sleep and magically my mom woke me up earlier than I wanted to see the light of day, no shocker there. None the less I woke up and started packing some of the stuff in my room. I had two weeks, but every moment counted because we had a lot of shit. My weekend was already occupied anyway I would be four hours away from home visiting my dad, Rick; Sunday was Father’s Day anyway. Since I was rebuilding a relationship with my dad he would be happy I was visiting. We had not spoken for two years and I decided to break that barrier two weeks ago. My mom actually inspired me to she said that if he died I should live with no regret.  This was exactly what I needed to do and I felt great that I did.

As work of course Miss Witch would be late with the letter I needed to get my money, she was an inch short of provoking my will to keep from telling her off. Like it took an entire 24 hours to right a God Damn letter and print it. How much stupider could she be. I would just have to suck it up and put on a fake smile as I secretly plot against her. Story of my life, talk about drama, all “This girl” really needed was a hug  a friend and maybe some good sex too.

Red Lobster and Issues

 

Five minutes in the Sun and I looked like a Lobster, Seafood anyone?? Miss Witch already took a day and a half with the god damn letter and them she made mistakes on the return forms too. This is what happens when you obtain a managerial position for sleeping with the boss. Pure inconsistency, the Woman was as dumb as rocks, on top of not knowing how to doing the job right, she couldn’t spell and her grammar was way off.  My five year old sister Jenna was more inclined with the English language than she was. This was why I was sun burnt I spent two hours up and down to the Beneficiary office because of her technical errors. On the bright side that made two hours off from actual work. I hated taking calls all day, ignorant people I would rather tell off for being rude to me over the phone.

Then I went home with Letty, my mom.  Of course Jenna’s dad was there visiting her. He was a cock bastard that thinks he is the shit. The truth of the matter he wasn’t attractive, he wouldn’t be anything without my mom, He was a broke ass dead beat dad and to top it all off he had a fucked up attitude. As soon as I saw him I knew it would be night alone locked in my room, just so I could avoid confrontation with the imbecile.  I always ignored his existence anyway unless it was forced upon to actually speak to him for any other reason than biding the time of day.

After I took a shower, I was just talking to Conner and then the internet went out. Well not out but it wasn’t connecting to anything, I tried trouble shooting, resetting my Wi-Fi router nothing worked. “Dumb ass internet provider”, was all I could utter. Every few days they had issues. Why they hell did I pay the internet for crappy ass internet.  What was I supposed to do I couldn’t  load my shows that I usually stream , I couldn’t talk to Conner (because he lived hundreds of miles away) , and there was nothing I could actually do about it. So I plummeted into my bed, laid there and stared at the ceiling for a while.  This night was Pathetic; I would have probably been with my friends if Steven hadn’t done what he did.  So I got up and found some batteries for my remote control and turn to the old trusty TV for some entertainment, at least that wouldn’t disappoint me.

So I watched TV until I fell asleep, I was watching chopped. Like I was I really watching food shows, the last thing I needed to be watching, I needed to go back on my diet and workout. I was procrastinating, it was hard for me I always struggled with my weight, but this year I vow to change that.  I would get serious and get my dream body or at least start, that meant eating healthy and not missing workouts, rain or shine. So anyway my mom woke me up at 5:30am, as if I didn’t enjoy my bed. Ah I should be use it by now she wasn’t gonna change she was set in her Letty ways and I was also set in my own “This Girl” ways.

Strike a Pose

 

I was a little short of excited for work yesterday, nah I’m just kidding. I wasn’t the least bit enthusiastic about working, but then again who was? It was a drab day, partly cloudy and calls came in slow. This was one thing that I couldn’t complain about it gave me time, time to think, time to write, time to edit what I wanted not only on my blog but in my mind too.

I skipped lunch thinking of my diet I needed to start. Remember that comment I made about it yesterday?  It was good for me anyway and to top it all off Reba was eating fish soup and we had a scheduled lunch. The smells of soupy fish churned my stomach in the wrong way and made me want to gag. At about 3 o’clock I regretted not eating, as my belly grumbled for food. Oh well I had no breaks since the scheduled change I would just have to endure until I got home, no biggie!

 I got a message from Amy on Hangouts, the only form of communication I had with the outside world, while I was at work. Phones where put in Pursey’s care, because they weren’t allowed, Skype, Facebook and whatever else was blocked.  So Google hangouts were like our life line to talk to other people outside the work place. I also listened to music, read and wrote to kill all the free time I had between calls on slow days.  Adam messaged me off Amy’s Google account I soon learned when I actually opened the message.  Apparently tonight we would be doing our Prom photo-shoot.  Ready Set Cover girl! AT first I really didn’t want to, my hair was a tangled mess, my nails weren’t done and for god sakes my skin looked like burnt toast. I wasn’t easily persuaded but I finally agreed once he promised to get my proper tool to make my hair beautiful. I wasn’t too worried about my face I had good foundation and concealer makeup that could fix that issue with ease.

They picked me up after work a bit late I must mention though. I wished they were already downstairs waiting for me when I walked out so Steven and Reba could see that I had real friends and I didn’t need their friendship. Amy said she was neutral about the entire thing but, she proved to be real friend. Steven offended her in his own way and she in turn decided she didn’t need him and unfriended him on Facebook. Adam on the other hand was as loyal as a dog, my best friend I could always count on. I was more than glad he was my bestie I felt loved and I finally had in concrete my real friends. We gathered everything we needed went over to my house and got ready for the photo-shoot. After taming my wild hair I was excited and then when my makeup was on I looked in the mirror pure beauty. Yes I was a little bit conceited, a little conceit never hurt anybody plus it was better to be this way than depressed and sad.

 On our way the photo-shoot Amy and Adam decided to steal traffic cones. It was pretty hilarious parking in the middle of the highway and Adam running for the cone, he even dragged one in through the window. We got there I put on my dress I even look more gorgeous then than the actual prom day.  The photographer touched my makeup up a bit where I was sweating. Then it was time to strike a pose, we had fun Amy took pictures with us too. We had adorable pictures, funny pictures, cute pictures and your normal and formal prom pictures. After we finished we headed to Amy’s house hung out a bit and then went home. A drab day turned into a fab day. I felt like a million bucks, i was no cover girl but i certainly was “This girl”.

Twat's Talking shit

 

It was cold wet a gloomy yesterday. The sky was filled with dark clouds, like dark silk sheets, at least that is what I would compare it too. I spent my day pretty average. Calls were extremely slow so I became lost in the lyrics of the songs I listened to.  Everything thing was calm in oppose to the way it use to be, but I didn’t mind. I could get use to reading (which I love), I know I’m such a nerd. The peace was calming. I had no one to worry about I just spoke to Amy and Adam on chat. What a nice day, I thought to myself.

Then came the Drama, Amy got into an argument with Steven. He was furious that she apparently in his eyes took my side. I had divided the “squad”. She just expressed that she thought it was not me and she believed it was Walley. That ended their friendship because Amy was entitled to her opinion and just because she chose to spend time with me and Adam the day before at our photo shoot they took immediate offense.  Michael in turn yelled at Amy over her opinion about the whole “missing money, stolen money” situation because Walley is his boyfriend.  Every time someone new came around money went missing, which was not only the truth but the hard facts.

I was at work when all this happened and got the story half through chat and afterward when Adam met me after work. I was just outside work after buying something at the store for my mom she asked me to buy and Adam showed up. We already wanted to have a movie night at his house but I however planned to cancel because I hadn’t packed etc. So we decided to wait for my mom together and he went to my house. They were all hungry when I got home so I decided to make dinner for everyone.  They all enjoyed, when I wanted to cook it came out lovely.

Then Amy showed up and I was gonna take a shower when she finished telling me about what happened. So I called my mom so she could hear it too and here how fake so called uses to be friends were. Michael added that he lost fifty dollars too and might as well put the blame on me the criminal. Bunch of pussy’s I wished I was there to hear it myself; they weren’t brave enough to say it to my face. Only Bitches gossip, I wish they would just leave it to females. What did I really expect from a bunch of secret gay’s (not that I had anything against gay people). I loved gays they were usually nice, but they were a bunch of hypocrites. Those conniving twats talked bad behind my back, not to my surprise they had been doing the same to Sarah for quite some time. She could continue kissing there asses, but I was my own woman and nobody walks over me NOBODY.

My mom was shocked at their behavior too and so was Conner. We told him too over the phone. I decided they weren’t worth my thought or time I had obliterated them from my work. They were no longer relevant and they were dead to me.

Amy dropped me and Adam at his house. We had our movie night watching the series we like. It ended the way our movie night usually ended with me falling asleep and him watching the show. Good thing I was way ahead of him, so I wouldn’t have to catch up on the episodes he watched that night.

I woke up feeling well rested and Adam made me breakfast and walked me to work. It felt so good to have real friends. These were the kinds of friends one should cherish. I was happy again because “This girl” had real friends!

We Don't need Weed

 

What a weekend! Friday was dreary just sat all day at work and watched the rain chuck from the heavens. Thing got exciting towards the end of the day when there was a bit of a Facebook show off filled with insults, Until the immature posts finally stopped. This was mainly because Michael and Steven were afraid of their sexuality being made public.

The highlight of the weekend was almost being arrested. Well wasn’t that fun. Thank god for having a vagina, I probably wouldn’t have been able to talk my way out of that one if I didn’t. So we headed out of town to Amy’s basketball game, which her team won by the way.  Adam, Rob and i were in the stands cheering and trash talking to some hater making fun of Amy, mostly me and Adam though. That was really fun. After we head minutes away and dropped off Rob at this club where he met his friend and date. We headed over to the store got some vodka, some mix, ice and cups. Amy drove us to this park we started to drink and Amy had weed so we smoked that too. I wasn’t big on weed but I was in the mood Saturday night. So here we were playing kings and never have I ever. Then out of nowhere these solider looking men with guns came toward us. Great I thought to myself, but I remained calm. I wasn’t going to jail tonight and I wasn’t going to let Adam or Amy go either. They walked up talking about how we were publicly drinking I immediately began to play dumb by saying “oh we can’t drink here I wasn’t aware I’m sorry we can leave.” And then one mentioned that he could smell weed. Fuck I just then prayed Amy hadn’t left any weed in the car cause then we would be fucked with our pants on metaphorically speaking.

He then asked who was driving, poor Amy looked frightened. I immediately after seeing her reaction said I was driving. Then they asked to open the car after searching Adam since he was the only male they couldn’t search me or Amy. Well they could ask Amy to empty her pockets but I had none I was wearing a dress, I very cute one at that it made my boobs look nice and big. Anyway I asked Amy for the keys to open the car, she took a little while but when she didn’t hand me the keys she also handed all the rest of the weed to me, along with the rolling paper. Smart move, while opening the car I slipped it between my breast and the a little bag the size of a small rock feel to the ground in front  the driver’s door shit I thought to myself. My first instinct I stepped on it while they were one the passenger side searching, then I took my foot out of one my shoes used my toes to pick up the little bag of weed and shoved it in my shoe along with my foot. That was really close I watch as they searched the car, my little purse and everything. They found 2 weed seeds, scary but we couldn’t be charged for that. They asked who was smoking so I thought quickly I said that my older cousin was there but he was long gone. I fixed up my boobs and began to smile, they were all men and there was one thing I could do was be nice while the asked questions. Then they asked all our information I decided not to lie because they wrote down Amy’s mother’s car license plate number. I couldn’t risk her getting in trouble, and then they asked for Amy and Adam’s age and name God, I was drinking with minors. Amy was 17 and Adam was 16 I could be charged for all this, but I knew they wouldn’t one liked me and I could tell. If Rob was there we would surely be in trouble. When they asked further questions Amy tried to answer and one told her to shut up he was a real prick! I want3ed to slap the asshole, but I just told Amy not to say a word.\

They told us to leave and if they saw us in town I would be charged so I got in the car and we drove to where Rob was and told him what happened.  He didn’t seem to be very interested in his date, she wasn’t very pretty if you asked me. Rob’s friends wanted us to stay but Amy was crying when Rob arrived and he was the loving big brother type. He scolded her a bit about the weed he wasn’t too big on weed either just occasionally like me. We went home I held the rest of the liquor and then I went to sleep. On Sunday we finished the bottle between being at my house first and then Amy’s. Adam, Amy and I sang out hearts out and dance and enjoyed one of the best Sundays ever. Amy decided she was giving up weed for good and I was proud that the little scare made her make that change. I went home afterward Watch the two episodes of Pretty Little Liars I hadn’t watched and then feel into a real nice sleep “This girl”, was in dream land.

YES! money and options

 

These past few days have been extremely gloomy I’m referring to the weather. The skies were dark and the rain keeps pouring and it’s colder than ever, especially for because I sit right in front of the air condition at work. Just my luck yeah right, this Stevens fault he’s the one that got me moved from my nice warm cozy spot. He seemed to cause a lot of things, but I wouldn’t let that get to me at all.

Would I ever get my social pay, these bitches like the refuse to pay social security and they deduct it from our pay ever god damn week. I had to right mind to just curse them all out and tell them how unethical they were. People had bills to pay, things to do and we needed our freaking money for god sakes. I think a monkey has more consideration than these people.  I kept complaining to my mother about the whole thing, so she asked for Pursey’s number and called. Whatever she said worked because they agreed to pay the money cash and then be reimbursed when the social problem was cleared up, although it’s Thursday and they haven’t paid yet. Let’s see how long that takes yippee! I know you can tell I was being sarcastic there.

  Oh yeah we had movie night at Amy’s house. That wasn’t as successful as we planned, the movie for one sucked. The first one we put in was in Spanish (great!), the second was okay until we realize it was just skin and sex practically a porno with the exception of a crazy tattoo artist that skins people alive to use their body for canvases. So the movie was basically full of blood gore and sex. Then the power went out great, was that supposed to make us scared it didn’t, the movie night was a blow. So Rob took me and Adam home, surprisingly me and rob laughed the entire way.

We were friends again which made me feel better after a long two weeks of silence I mean I know I still care about him and probably would take him and his small dick back theoretically speaking. I s till think we’re gonna somehow end up in bed together again, someone had to take his innocence and I didn’t mind doing it just staying well friends. I got home and went to sleep a very sleep at that. Hopefully I get my money soon or that would just make me more irritated.

I also got called for an interview somewhere Jay would be working soon. They paid more, and it was basically just emails. That made it way cheaper and better for me anyway the only thing  that concerned me is that it would be a 50 mile commute daily, which I use to do for school but I wasn’t sure yet. SO Friday I’m gonna go to the interview if I think it’s worth it then “This girl”, will be moving on

You Rub me the right way!

 

It was a sleep over weekend; the rain didn’t put a damper in my progress. Our weekend started early on thirsty Thursday! We bought wine and headed to Adams to enjoy each other’s company. It was very actually we started off with a game of Kings and then never have I ever, that lead to some secrets being spilled. Then we turned the lights off and turned the music up. At first we were just twerking and laughing and then we really started dancing. I for one was grinding on the wall and dancing really sexy, Rob finally grabbed me from behind and held on to my waist as I dirty danced on him.  I’m sure you guys can tell by the way I’m describing things that I was already high and under the influence.  So I was there shaking my ass on Rob, as I bit my bottom lip becoming more heated as the moments kept passing. Then Amy and Adam ran inside and told us to go to the room, his mom came home. So we ran in there, Adam hid the bottles of wine that we finished and I turned on my laptop with a movie to create the illusion that we were just having a movie night.

We heard his mom come in the door and then we heard laughing, so Adam opened his bedroom door. We all look out and there was his mom in a towel brushing her teeth and laughing. Her eyes were small beady and red, she looked dizzy, ah fuck it let me just be real about it, the woman was piss drunk! We couldn’t keep our composure; it was hilarious to say the least.  Adam introduced Rob to his mom as my boyfriend (Rob and I just exchanged glances, but played along) and then Amy.  Rob and Amy went home and as Adam and I walked them to the door Rob gave me a hug grabbing my ass at the same time.

The next morning I headed to work, work was pretty much boring so the details about that are irrelevant, other than the fact that they finally paid me my social pay yay! So Friday I slept at Amy’s house we just hung out and went to bed pretty early and then Saturday I went home to help my mom do some chores.

Now Saturday night we all got dressed really nice and headed out about a half hour drive to go hang out with Amy and Robs friends but they set us up. We bought some drinks drove back to Amy’s house and started drinking there. We had vodka and a lot of it. We drank fast and played kings I was already drinking on the way back so I was pretty high and Rob well he drank a few glasses heads up. We were both all giggly and at this point probably drunk both on Amy’s bed. Amy took away our cups which we were spilling on her bed and told us to go to sleep. We laid there beside each other smiling like two school kids. He began fondling my legs with his feet slowly; he gave me chills all over my body.  I began doing the same   to him in return we both exchanged wanting looks. He asked me if I wanted to stop and I said no and then he asked if I wanted to go to his room and I said yes.  Amy was still awake and unaware of what was happening because she was on the phone with her girlfriend. He told me to follow him in 10 minutes. He left for his room and 3 minutes later Amy went to the bathroom and I left for his room.

I opened the door slowly and locked it behind me. He was already lying down on his bed so I climbed in beside him. He immediately grabbed my face and began kissing me, Licking my lips and exploring my mouth with his tongue. I then broke away and started kissing his neck while lifting his shirt. He kissed my neck in return sending shock waves through my body; I was on top of him by then.  He help me fully take his shirt off and then I took off mine, I slowly kissed him down his chest and he made a little grunt noise, I could tell he was enjoying every single second.  He was already hard I could feel his hard little throbbing underneath me. It was turning me on the grabbed my breast through the little tube top I was wearing under the shirt I took off, so I just took that off too and he began sucking my left breast. I let out a little moan as my nipples hardened while he sucked them going from one breast to the other. I really wanted him to fuck me, but lucky me I was on my period. God I hate being a girl sometimes. I was already heated so I grabbed his dicked and slowly took it out of his boxers, I grabbed it and moved my hands up and down rhythmically as he let out little moans. I kissed him and then gently licked his head teasing him before pushing it my mouth and sucking it. He enjoyed every second of it and then I kissed him again. He pushed me beside him and then he was on top holding my hands above my head kissing me kissing down my neck stopping as he sucked my breast and then down my stomach. He grabbed my pussy and had his chin on top of it outside of my shorts that is and I stopped him. I told him I had my period my god damn period that ruined everything he was about to suck my pussy one of my favorite things, oh well next time.  We kissed some more and I sucked him a bit more chocking a few times so he told me to stop not wanting me to choke at all. I kissed him intensely and jerked him off while doing that until he came. I kissed him once more put on one of his shirts, went to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my hands, pee and change my tampon. I came back to his room and he said he was going to the bathroom and would be back, before he returned I was knocked out asleep. I woke up to him cuddling me not even remembering when he started cuddling me. A little smile spread across my face “This girl” was happy!

Ready to Play

 

I hope you’re not expecting me to talk about sex today because you’ll probably be disappointed.  Yeah so Sunday I went home around 5pm, only to hear a slight lecture about why going to church is important and why my mom and gran wanted me to go. I finally just agreed and I would make sure I convince Adam and Amy to go with me.  God is important I get that, but I don’t think that my relationship with him has to public for it to exist. That’s just my opinion but to make my mom happy I would go. Then I went to my room and lied there unable to sleep until Tom Messaged me. He sent me a million pictures of how much fun he was having with his friends at the pride parade. He was high messaging me and was funny some of the videos he sent. He’s not much of a drinker so a little bit made him fun to be around. I much as I hate to admit it sometimes I missed him. We could talk about anything and everything and we enjoyed the same stupid shit. We were best friends, we picked out clothes for each other, we popped each other pimples and well the sex was to die for. I’m not gonna lament on the sex part because I said I wouldn’t talk about sex today, so take your hands out your pants you horny fuckers.

Monday, Monday, Monday! It started out okay I guess, until Jay told me she heard that someone out of the said squad said some more shit about me. I’m referring to those imbeciles Steven, Michael, Reba and Sarah, bunch of assholes if you ask me. They now claimed that I not only stole Steven’s money but also Michael’s money and a phone too. Why don’t they just put me on the fucking most wanted list.  Why couldn’t I just be left alone, in peace?  I guess that’s when you’re too nice to people, you get trampled on. I was sure to message Steven  and give him a piece of my mind, If a bitch is what they want well that is what those fuckers are gonna get.  The y could be so quick to spread false rumors when they have so many real secrets. I didn’t want to be here I started crying a bit. I was hurt that someone who I once cared about could be so evil, but that’s how this world is and then I got it together.   Fuck em!

Monday was also Jenna’s birthday she turned five. I only hung out with Amy and Adam for an hour before going home. We smoked some weed, a boy was I high, but thankfully my eyes never get red while smoking so it wasn’t noticeable.  When I got home I brushed my teeth to take off the smell of the weed. We ate burger and sang happy birthday to our little princess.  The only down side was that the power was out on our side of the city. Just fucking great I only took a few pictures and my phone died. The power never came back on until about 9:30 pm. I just took a long cold shower and then laid there in my bed in only my panties because it was hot. Alright you horny bastards stop imaging me with only panties on.  Then the power came back on and I called Tom we talked for a while and he asked me to mail his old passport I have, to him.  I was also chatting with Rob about guitars since I was getting one and was gonna teach me how to play it. I was excited about that, learning to play a guitar.  I could write my music to my own melodies. I’m not planning to be the next Taylor swift of anything but, “This girl”, is ready to play!

Giving It all

 

Talk about an eventful weekend! Let me start at Friday since the rest on the week was sort of a drag! I got Friday off as a fourth of July holiday! It was one of the greatest news I could think about so I decided to spend the day with Amy, Adam and Rob.  So I went there and met up with Amy then Adam arrived shortly after and we went to go get some breakfast burritos yay! We also got some weed, I know we said that we would stop but now and again it wasn’t so bad to just smoke a joint and mellow out a bit.

SO we went back to Amy’s house we rolled up the weed and smoked that shit. Then we went into Rob’s room of course he was sleeping, he was almost always asleep during the day. So woke him up and then started to play this called “Who, What, When, Where, Why” it was hilarious the stupid sentences that we came up with. We probably played that about ten times before getting tired and then playing LGBT Pictionary. It was the super funny, well the drawings that is Adam and I won Amy and Rob.

Then I got my pay and decided to treat them to frozen coffee, so we headed over to the coffee shop. Then after we went back to Amy’s house again and then end our day hanging out and then Adam treated us to Ice cream.

I slept at home and then on Saturday night we went to Amy’s basketball game. So it took us and hour to drive there, but it was awesome, we sang all the way took some awesome snap chat pictures and videos. The game was intense but Amy team won with and 8 point lead, Rob and I cheered the entire time. We tried to go get some Frappuccino’s  but the it was taking too long so we just ate some nachos and headed over to the store and bought some vodka, mix and ice and then started drinking while heading back to Amy’s. Rob didn’t drink because he was driving but then when we got back to their house we were all drinking and then we were playing truth or Dare in Rob’s room.  Eventually we were  all basically half drunk and then Amy left us and went in her room to talk to her girlfriend on the phone. Rob started kissing me and we both started to get naked and then I was really Horney and out of nowhere we started talking having this real deep conversation both naked while cuddling. He put on his clothes and went to the bathroom I just laid there under the cover all naked and the he came back and we were cuddling again his clothes still on and then I asked him for a massage. I laid on my back and he pulled the covers off and started massaging me, then he whispered in my ear saying how much me being naked turned him on. We started kissing that lead to him being naked and then he asked me if I had a condom I helped him put it on, he laid there for a while contemplating having sex and then he eventually said he was ready. I guided him to the entrance of my vagina I could tell he was enjoying every second of it.  Every few minutes he slowed down or stopped to keep him from coming quickly because he said he wanted to satisfy me too. I loved it I moaned a bit and so the did he we tried a couple different positions so he could get a feel of what he likes more. We had sex until about four in the morning and then finally went to sleep. At about seven I woke up practically jumping out of my sleep, remembering that I promised my mom I would go to church.

I walked over to Amy’s bedroom and went to the bathroom, she woke up. She looked me straight in the eyes and said I heard moaning you and Rob fucked last night. “Nope,” I said. Then I walked right back into the bathroom ignoring her because I promised Rob that we would keep this between us.  We went to sleep until about 9:30am then we got dressed, went to go buy breakfast, ate and then finally went to church. To my surprise my mom wasn’t there so we just stayed and enjoyed church anyway. Amy said she liked it and we planned to go back next week, yay at least I have a church buddy especially if my mother keeps forcing me to go. Church isn’t a bad think I mean   I do enjoy it sometimes I just prefer not to be forced to go.  WE went to my house a bit after then headed back to Amy’s. We woke up Rob again because was asleep again, God that guy could sleep. We hung out a bit then a friend came over for a short while and then Amy and Rob’s cousin  Cielo showed up, he’s like so hilarious you would literally fall on the floor laughing while being around him. We got some more drinks along with some Smirn offs that that Amy’s dad bought for us and then she and Cielo got some weed too. Before we knew it Cielo was drunk, he danced, we played Kings and then Amy went to her bedroom to again call and talk to her girlfriend and Cielo fell asleep. Rob and I started talking then we started making out again then he told me he wanted to have sex again. I smiled and thought to myself “ he really must like this pussy”,. So I went to Amy’s room and stole one of her condoms, good thing she was fast asleep. We went into the guest bedroom and started kissing while lead to sucking and then finally fucking, he came quicker than the night before, this time we were much more sober and I used my pussy muscles to grab his cock while having sex. He moaned my name enjoying the pleasure. We cuddled after and then went to his bedroom again and fell asleep in each other’s arms.  WE didn’t wake up until about 4:45am And then he took me home cause I had work. I silently opened the door and snuck into my room thank goodness I was quiet and my mom was still asleep.  I laid there just thinking for a while. No one would understand me and Rob’s relationship we weren’t dating, we were more like best friends, we decided not to use labels and that was okay with me because “This girl” was over her insecurities.

Whats the right choice?

 

God things are going so well these days. The satisfaction increased in levels beyond comparison explainable through words. My week days spent working, days going by like time wasn’t even of essence.  Weekends spent mostly with Rob, Amy and Adam.  Ever since Rob popped his cherry it’s been way more fun and we talked more. He understood me more and we could talk. We spent our Friday and Saturday nights cuddling, sex, and then talking until morning, we barely got any sleep. I didn’t mind because this was the way I wanted him. We were friends with benefits which meant that I could enjoy his friendship and sexual benefits but I could also work on me and Tom’s relationship when I go to New York.  I wouldn’t be burdened with the responsibility of choosing between the two or feel guilty for cheating because me and rob aren’t together. Funny the way things work out at least I wasn’t crying over him or obsessing about how he feels because I know how he feels. No more guessing or awkward moments while we are hanging out, this feeling is or pure pleasure.

Did I mention my undying confidence I mean all my exes can’t seem to shake the feeling of wanting me. Now let’s talk About Lou, well he’s this guy I been talking to from last year younger but he is hot. Tall gore his age green eyes that make you melt. I haven’t met him yet but I’m sure I will one day. I told him I liked him because for one I’m not too sure about Tom either. God knows what he’s doing and who he is with right now. I want to keep all my options open and for good reason too. My heart had been broken if that means chaining it up real good until the right one comes around that’s what I will do.

Here I am bragging about all these guys and a moment ago I was complaining about the lack of sex I was having. To be truthful the more sex I’m having the more sex I want, last night I was touching myself in the shower. I just simply can’t get enough I was thinking about Tom though his Size and his performance was the best, in comparison to the other guys I have had. I know Rob will probably get better taking in consideration I was his first and he was very satisfying on his first time. I was actually impressed that he was that good.

I know I’ll probably just jump on Tom the moment I see him. I mean we use to have sex like 3 times a day when we just started dating. It was addicting to both of us, sex everywhere in the bathroom, in all the rooms, on a roof top, almost in a park and I loved every adrenaline moment filled with him.  IT wasn’t all about the sex though we made fun of each other , liked the same type of music, dressed each other, our communication was on the same high level, we were both ambitious, and we planned to do a lot together. It wasn’t a perfect relationship but I think It was worth it until he started becoming a man whore.  So many options I wonder which is right and which is wrong I guess “This girl”, has a lot to think about!  

 

Impressum

Texte: Shelby Waight
Lektorat: Janelle Bet
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 02.07.2015

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Widmung:
This book is a diary of a misunderstood girl who changed herself based on events that followed her everyday life. It gives details of here steamy sex life, context of her personal thoughts and emotion in its rawest form!! I hope you enjoy