Part 1
In the winter of 1997, a series of unsolved serial murders took place on the campus of a major university in
the southern United States. Fourteen years later in February of 2011 the remnants of a diary were
recovered from an undisclosed location by a private investigator who had been hired by the family of one of
the victims.
What follows are the relevant transcription entries from the pages of that diary.
Nothing has been censored, edited or redacted.
It had been determined that the young woman who had kept this diary was 22 year old Jamie Lee Collins. A
student of the aforementioned university.
Jamie Collins went missing on February 8th 1997. She was considered to be the sixth and final victim of the
serial killer though her body had never been recovered. The killings mysteriously ended after her
disappearance.
The murders went unsolved and are now considered to be "Cold Case Files" by the local police dept. and
the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
Some of the local and federal investigators who were interviewed before the release of this diary believed
that the killer simply moved to a new location.
One of these investigators, who can not be named here continued the investigation on his own time and
revealed to us that in the following year (fall 1998) several murders presenting "frighteningly similar
characteristics" to the university killings began in London England.
The only thing that is definitively known is that Jamie Collins was never seen or heard from again and the
killer was never apprehended.
The document underwent tremendous scrutiny by FBI forensic analysts before it was released for
transcription and its authenticity is considered to be genuine. What follows is an account of her final days in
her own words.
Jan 6th Monday 1997
Dear Diary
Not much to report. Christmas vacation was great. Daddy bought me a new car.
That was pretty cool. He spoils me I know, but what can I do? He’s so proud of his little girl.
Mom was the same, always finding fault with everything I say and do. I swore that I would get them under
the same roof for Christmas day but that plan went south pretty quick. I got to see Aunt Rachel. She flew
all the way from England to be with the family this year. I really miss her.
I think it would help mom to have her sister around more often. I think she gets a little lonely sometimes
now that her youngest has left the nest. Gotta go, I have lots and lots of clothes to try on. Aunt Rachel
brought them all the way from Paris, London and Milan for Christmas. Shh! don’t tell anyone how spoiled I
am.
Love Jamie
Jan 7th Tuesday 1997
Dear Diary
I think I’m going to break up with Brandon soon. We are just not working out. He’s just too full of himself
and I want someone more mature. I don’t know maybe I’m being too harsh. Nah, its time, we have been
together for almost a year and the relationship is going nowhere.
Love Jamie
Jan 8th Wed 1997
Dear Diary
I spent most of the day in bed today. I got a really bad migraine after chem. class and it made me so sick.
It’s gone now, but I’m still so drained.
Love Jamie
Jan 9th Thursday 1997
Dear Diary
It slipped at lunch today that the girls are planning a surprise birthday party for me this weekend. That’s
blabbermouth Beth for you, I swear that girls mouth is open so often it’s a wonder her tongue doesn’t get
sunburned. But I must admit that the notion of a surprise party had already occurred to me. With so many
girls here at Kappa it seems like there’s a birthday party every week. And being a legacy and all it’s almost a
requirement for my sorority sisters to throw me a bash. And since my time here is almost up I’m sure it’s
going to be a good one. I hope they remember that Brandon and I broke up. I wouldn’t even want to
attend my own party if they invited him.
Love Jamie
Jan 10th Friday 1997
Dear Diary
There was something crazy going on at the South Campus today. There were police cars everywhere and
officers stretching that yellow tape up all around Heartly Hall.
God I hope no one killed themselves. We already had one suicide last fall some freshman got a B on a term
paper and took a swan dive form the roof of the library. I totally understand the pressure of maintaining a
good GPA, I am almost always stressed out about some test or the other but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna off
myself over a B in psych. class. Get real, it would have to be a D for me to even have my customary minage’
with my boyfriend’s Ben and Jerry for the weekend.
Love Jamie
Jan 11th Sat 1997
Dear Diary
I met a guy at the student union today after psych class. His name is Eric, he’s very cute.
He asked me for my number and being the slut that I am I gave it to him. HA! Just kidding I don’t even
know what I would do if he asked me out.
Love Jamie
Jan 12th Sunday 1997
Dear Diary
Well he called but I don’t think I’m gonna go out with him. I couldn’t tell just by looking at him but he’s just
a freshman and I’m just not sure if I really want to be with anyone right now anyway. Besides, I know
exactly what would happen. He would fall in love with me, profess his undying devotion and start talking
about living together and how he wants to have my babies and all of that tedious annoying crap. Then I
would have to say things like “Oh my God! You are not in love with me, you just think you are.” and “I need
some space” and “I think we should see other people” in a vain effort to get him to break up with me or
start seeing someone else.
But then he would get all clingy trying to change my mind with over the top romantic gestures in a
desperate attempt to salvage whatever little perfect fantasy he had built in his mind about our lifelong
future together. And then I would have to say something like “Oh my God! What happened to your
backbone and your dignity? Were they missing all along and I just didn’t notice?” Then he would get all hurt
and become a woman hater because of the mean hot girl who broke his heart freshmen year. Then he
would go on a weeklong drinking binge with his bros. And one night when he was wasted, after a spirited
game of beer pong, he would decide he was gay all along. Then he would go through the same drama with
some hot guy. I just don’t want to put either one of us through that dumpster fire. So you see, I’m
actually being kind and gentle by sparing him all that pain. Or maybe it’s just because he’s too short.
Love Jamie
Jan 13th Monday 1997
Dear Diary
Something really strange happened to me this morning. I was getting ready for class and I fainted in the
bathroom. Missy came in and found me and woke me up. I made her promise not to tell anyone and I know
she won’t, she’s a really good person and a good friend.
Love Jamie
Jan 14th Tuesday 1997
Dear Diary
No headaches today, that’s good because I had an important Chem. exam today and as usual I aced it. God
I love being so smart. Just kidding I’m not really that full of myself. Well maybe I am just a little.
Love Jamie
Jan 16th Wed 1997
Dear Diary
I think Janice, Gretchen and myself are going to take my new car and get out of town for the
weekend. The three menstruateers ride again. We’re going to go to the lake and spend the whole
weekend sitting around the fire place, watching old movies, and binging on all the stuff were not supposed
to eat. The place is only about an hour out of town but it feels like another world.
Daddy bought it a few years ago as a way to try and make mom happier and to help the marriage. I think
he was grasping at straws because mom is the most miserable person in the world and she has forgotten
what happiness is. I still can’t understand why he stays. Talk about loyalty. That’s one of the reasons I love
him and respect him so much. Because he’s devoted to his family no matter what.
Love Jamie
Jan 18th Thursday 1997
Dear Diary
It’s beautiful here at the lake. So peaceful and serene. The girls are having a great time and
so am I. I really needed this.
Love Jamie
Jan 20th Monday 1997
Dear Diary
We got back this morning to the horrible news that another girl was killed. She was from the Beta house.
That’s only a few blocks from here. Everyone is tense around here and a lot of the girls are afraid. Maybe I
can help with that somehow. But there is something that is frightening me more than just having some
psycho loose on campus though. I think I might be developing some kind of psychic ability. I had some kind
of episode last night. I could see things. Maybe it’s not a good idea to write this down in any kind of detail
right now. If anyone read this they might think I was disturbed and at this point I’m not sure I could argue
that…. Screw it! I need to put this to paper. I know how it sounds and that’s why I haven't told anyone.
But it felt very real Saturday night, after the girls had gone to bed, I sat alone out on the deck. I was just
enjoying the moonlight and the night air and I felt a flash of pain shooting through my brain. It nearly
knocked me out of the chair. Then I had a vision. It's hard to explain because the images playing out in my
head were blurry and kind of dark but I felt like I was witnessing a girl getting murdered. When I opened
my eyes my nose was bleeding a little bit and the moon had moved to the other side of the sky. Mom and
Aunt Rachel have both had psychic experiences numerous times and they both say that it runs in the family.
God I hope that isn't true. I don’t want to see other girls getting killed. Oh my God. I just had a thought.
What if I was going to be a victim and was able to see my own murder before it happened? In that case I
might not mind having a vision because I could stop it before it happened.
Jamie
Jan 21st Tuesday 1997
Dear Diary
I have got to spend the rest of the day studying. I’m going to just lock the door and hang up the “Do not
disturb me you bitches” sign on the door so I can concentrate.
Jamie
Jan. Wednesday 22nd 1997
Dear Diary
The mood around the Kappa house is understandably somber. A few of the girls have left for the semester
maybe for good. I hated to see Halley go, she was a sweet girl and we were getting to be really good
friends. Some of the girls try to ignore what’s going on and pretend it’s not happening. They carry on as if
they don’t even notice what’s going on around them.
Jessica Martin came up to me today and started going on about this year’s homecoming float. She was so
happy and excited about it. A little too excited I think, like she was over compensating. It was actually a
little creepy. It’s only been a few days since that girl over at Beta house was killed. I didn’t know her
personally but how can you not feel at least something for her friends and family. Besides with the police on
campus all the time now only those in true denial can ignore the situation and that’s we are all in danger if
they do not stop this man soon.
Jamie
Jan 23rd Thursday 1997
Dear Diary
Two more girls left this morning. What’s worse is I had a feeling that those two girls would be the next
ones to leave. Maybe that isn’t psychic, maybe it was just intuition but Gretchen and I have decided that
we are not going to let this bastard make us leave. This is our campus and he’s that needs to leave, not us.
There are over twenty thousand students on this campus at any given time and while some people think
that gives the killer a perfect place to hide in plain sight I see it as over forty thousand eyes to spot this
bastard when he slips up. Someone has seen something even if they didn't realize it at the time. I think we
can be proactive and be more protective of our own. We have agreed that we won’t go anywhere after
dark without each other. Gretchen even suggested starting an escort service, and no I don’t mean she’s
going to be pimping out the girls of Kappa. She wants to get several boys that we know we can trust to
form a service where they can escort girls to and from class and around campus. I know several boys from
Delta who are perfect gentlemen and who would love to help damsels in distress. Boys are so easy that
way. Any chance they get to show their masculinity to a girl and be all tough and manly they come running.
Most of them remind me of male cockatoos strutting and puffing up their feathers. They’re still kind of cute
when they do it though, the boys not the birds.
Love Jamie
Jan 24th Friday 1997
Dear Diary
We had a house meeting this afternoon. Some old business mostly, but I found out that there are rumors
abound about who the campus maniac might be. But it's all college girl dramatic speculation based on
absolutely nothing real. As long as we can keep the Kappa girls safe until this is over that’s all I care about.
I’ve taken Gretchen’s escort idea one step further and have asked Justin Mosely, Kevin Myers and Dennis
Burkhoff to take turns spending the night here.
Of coarse there will be rumors but there are always rumors even when there’s nothing going on. And
rumors are better than dead girls. I know the bylaws prohibit such a thing but desperate times and all.
Besides all of these boys are fine upstanding southern gentlemen with really nice asses. Just kidding, they
are really good guys and I trust them. I hope that’s not the same mistake that the dead girls made. It
would really suck if I was the one who invited the killer to stay over for the night. My famous last words
would be remembered as “Its ok girls. I really trust them.” But I'm not getting any bad psychic vibes from
them so maybe it’s a good choice. I feel like I should start trusting my intuitions and pay more attention to
my feelings about things.
Love Jamie
Jan 25th Saturday 1997
Dear Diary
The campus crisis has hit home for the Kappa’s. One of our own, Missy Peters, is missing and we can only
pray that she hasn’t come to any harm. I feel horrible because I had another premonition while I was
sleeping last night about losing one of the girls here. I woke up this morning with blood on my pillow from
another nose bleed. I am now convinced that I am somehow witnessing these events before they happen.
I still haven’t told anyone. But I am so damned frustrated. What good is a gift like this if you can’t prevent
the horrible things you see? It has become more of a curse than a gift. Most of the visions come while I am
sleeping and by the time I wake up it's too late to stop it. I want to tell the police about this but I know
that they won’t believe me and everyone else would just laugh at me or believe that I was losing my mind.
God, it feels like I am sometimes. Missy has always been a good friend to me and to everyone else in the
house. I can’t think of one girl here who doesn’t love her. And that’s saying a lot because these catty
bitches can find something to hate about anyone. She has been missing since last night and we have
checked every possible place we can think of. The campus police and a couple of detectives were here
today talking to me and some of the other girls. I tried to be helpful but somehow I just feel like she is
already dead. And what’s worse is this damn migraine that won’t let me go out and look for her. And I feel
responsible because Kevin called the house and said that he wouldn’t be able to meet her to escort her
home after her econ class.
I tried to reach the other boys but couldn’t. I couldn’t go because I was in bed all day with this headache. I
told myself she would be ok. I’m so mad at myself right now. I think my visions are somehow related to my
headaches and I just hope that I have some kind of brain aneysm or something. I hope I am wrong about
Missy. I really do.
Jamie
Jan 26th Sunday 1997
Dear Diary
Still no word about Missy. The mood around here is pretty gloomy, I skipped my classes today. I just
couldn’t get motivated. It's raining.
Jamie
Jan 27th Monday 1997
Dear Diary
Our worst fears came to life. We found out this morning that the police had found Missy’s body late last
night. Why is this happening? Why do beautiful people have to die at the hands of a psycho ? Our parents
lied. Monsters are real, they just disguise themselves as humans.
Jamie
Jan 28th Tuesday 1997
Dear Diary
Missy’s parents came today to pick up all of her personal belongings. I boxed everything myself. I didn’t think
they would be up for that right now. They had to claim her body and take her home to Arizona to be
buried. I won’t get to go to her funeral and it makes me sad but I made sure to tell her mother just how
much everyone loved her daughter here and just how big of a loss it is. How do you make someone feel
better when they just lost one of their children?
Jamie
Jan 29th Wed 1997
Dear Diary
Mom called today. She was going on and on about how she wanted me to come home for a while until all
of this “Killer nonsense.” is over. I swear that woman will drive me insane before all is said and done. I’m
actually kind of surprised that she didn’t just send daddy and Michael down here and drag me back kicking
and screaming. I told her I wouldn’t come home and she went all mother hen on me. At one point I just
laid the phone down on my bed and walked downstairs to get some yogurt from the fridge and when I got
back she was still talking, and I swear I was gone for at least ten minutes. Well, gotta go for now, big
sociology test tomorrow.
Love Jamie
Jan 30th Thursday 1997
Dear Diary
Garret called me today and asked if we could meet for lunch tomorrow. It was a bit of a surprise considering
we haven’t spoken since we broke up. I was so stupid to let him go.
I thought that everyone drifted away from their high school sweethearts when they went off to college. I
mean you can’t stay in that “Head cheerleader and all American football star” phase forever. I wanted to
grow and expand my mind and my life.
Now that I’ve seen what kind of guys and girls are really out here in the world, (yes I’ve done the whole
college experimenting thing. I know, I’m a bad girl.) I realize how great he really was. Those baby blues and
that smile. Ok I have to stop thinking about it. I know he never forgave me for hurting him like I did. So I
don’t need to be pining over a guy that I can’t have. But I said I would have lunch with him.
In spite of the past I am looking forward to seeing him. He has already become a sergeant with the police
department here and I can only assume that he wants to talk to me about all of the murders on the
campus. I had to call mom today, my head aches are getting worse. After everything it looks like I maybe
forced to go home anyway. I remember having a bout of headaches when I was really young but the
doctors were able to fix it. More dreams and visions with the pain but I don’t know if they are going to turn
out to be prophetic yet. These visions sure do hurt. But as coach Baily says "No pain, No gain." What if the
pain is the tradeoff for being psychic? Mom said she would call Dr. Carver and have him call in a prescription
so I can pick it up in the morning. But even though it hurts I really hope that the medicine does not
interfere with my visions.
Love Jamie
Feb.1st Saturday 1997
I had lunch with Garret today. He told me he was worried about me. That means he still looooves me! Ha,
Ha just kidding. I wish he still loved me. But it was a good visit and we had a lot of fun. That is after all the
seriousness was over. He told me that an FBI profiler was helping with the case and he told me a lot of stuff
that the newspapers and local TV stations didn’t know.
He said they were definitely looking for a male student, probably a 2nd or 3rd year, and someone who was
probably outgoing, athletic, a member of a fraternity and probably considered to be attractive. Garret thinks
I’ve probably even met the guy once or twice. That’s a scary thought. God I hope it isn’t Brandon, like he’s
gone on a killing spree since we broke up or something. Garret said that the killer always takes something
from the victims as a kind of trophy or maybe even in his own twisted mind it’s a memento of the time he
spent with the victim. He gave me a list of the missing items to share with the other girls in the house in
case they see something. But to be honest I wasn’t looking at the list a whole lot I was just swimming in
those deep blue eyes of his. My god what was I thinking letting that sexy man go. Lunch was cut a little
short when he got a call and then he gave me a hug and handed me his card, he told me to be careful and
to call him if I needed or saw anything.
Love Jamie
Tuesday Feb 4th 1997
I would never admit it to Gretchen, but I’m getting scared. Between the headaches, the visions and the
murders I’m just at the end of my rope. I don’t want to go crawling home, but I’m afraid to be here. I feel
like something really bad is going to happen. Like a dark cloud is settling over me. I’m afraid that I am going
to be next, I don’t want to die, especially not like that. I wish they would stop screwing around and catch
this guy already. Am I just stressing out or is it possible to sense your own death is coming soon?
Jamie
Friday Feb 7th 1997
It happened again, I got the worst headache yet and then I got an uncontrollable nose bleed.
It just wouldn’t stop. The medicine hasn’t helped yet. Having the visions is hurting me in more than one
way. I have an appointment with a specialist next week. If I make it that far.
Jamie
Forensic and handwriting analysts at the FBI crime lab have stated that the final entry that follows was
jumbled almost to the point of illegibility and indicates that it was made under an extreme amount of stress.
They likewise indicated that Jamie must have been in a deep state of panic, fear and duress.
Sat. Feb 8th
Oh my God! I don’t even know what to write here. I had another vision. At least I thought that’s what it
was. But I know now how stupid I have been. I can't ignore the reality of the situation. Now that I have all
of my memories I know this is real and I’m scared. I don't want to die, but I can't see myself in an insane
asylum wearing a robe and slippers all day while I stagger around like a zombie drooling on myself because of
some drug induced stupor. I'd rather end it now while I still have control, while I still have a choice. I don't
know how long I can keep control and I can't risk losing it. I don’t know how to keep him out. Please know
that I love you all and will miss you with all of my heart. I don't have much time to write this, but everyone
has to know that I didn't kill myself just because I couldn't handle life anymore. But no matter what
happens I think this will be the last time I get to write in my diary. I can feel it, I don't have much time.
There will be no suicide note. It is enough to say that I have no choice. I have to do something to end this.
I want my mother to know that I remember everything now. Everything!
I remember him now mother. Talking to him in my head. You thought I was crazy. The walls that you had
Doctor Morgan build in my mind when I was nine have been torn down from the other side. The darkness
that those walls were built to contain has been unleashed.
What have you done mother? How could you do this to me? Why did you ignore the surgeon? You stupid
bitch! He's loose and people are dead! Now I have to die too. I found his trinkets in a shoe box under my
bed. Everything on the list. And then I found the other diary. I'm leaving it here with this one so the truth
is known. It all ends here with my......................
At this point in the entry the handwriting changed and it was believed by law enforcement that this was
the exact moment that the killer attacked Ms. Collins and continued the entry himself. They concluded that
Jamie’s final entry was incoherent rambling due to insurmountable stress. They believed that Jamie had
merely been subdued at this point and was not yet dead.
How touching, but I’m afraid I can’t have that. This most assuredly will not be our final entry. Not when
there’s so much left to do. But make no mistake you will be leaving, However I’m staying right where I am.
One body with two minds has always been a little too crowded for my taste. I need a little extra room to
stretch my legs and.....
At this point the entry seemed to abruptly change and what followed that last incomplete sentence were
several lines of scribbling and indecipherable writing. An independent forensic psychologist who was
consulted by the publishers of this story in relation to these diaries has written "In regards to the final entry
it is clear that a struggle for control was taking place." Law enforcement officials have chosen to ignore this
assessment. It was however universally agreed that the handwriting did not match any of Jamie’s original
entries.
One final entry was made in the first diary and though there was no date it has been suggested that the
entry was added within days, perhaps hours of the final entry of the Feb 8th. Upon review law enforcement
believed that the killer took her diary as his final trophy and made one last entry in the first journal. Jamie’s
journal. It reads as follows.
When I finally began to snuff out her flame I could hear her. I could hear poor little Jamie screaming inside
my head. Every other time I emerged she held no conscious knowledge or memory of my presence. But
this time I had grown strong enough that I no longer needed to tread lightly. No more tip toeing around
terror, the pain. She could feel herself slipping further and further down into the darkness, sliding
unstoppably into non existence. She did put up a fight though. Oh how she struggled and protested. But
she had no experience. She hadn't spent her entire existence learning to survive in the darkness, huddled
cold and alone in the darkest corners of our mind. It was to be a merciful death compared to the unending
duration of my own agony. At least I didn't exile her to the hellish nightmare limbo she had me in for all
those years. Though I enjoyed hearing her scream a slow intrusive feeling began to bore into my mind. I
almost didn't recognize it. It was empathy. It was an insidious uncomfortable sensation. I did not like it. But
it made me hesitate and then I stopped pushing her down. I think it was happening to me because deep
down I knew that she had no knowledge of my existence and had never deliberately hurt me. I just
couldn't extinguish her flame, after all we are siblings. So for the moment she is still with me. I may keep her
for a while. I think it would be entertaining to feed on her emotions as we go home and I give mommy my
love. I owe her. She's the one who tried to kill me when we were nine. It was her fault that my body died
in the womb. Still a helpless undeveloped fetus. I was absorbed into Jamie. Parts of me are still here. Tiny,
random, unabsorbed pieces of me scattered throughout this body. The largest piece of me is lodged in her
brain. It has been my lifeline, my foothold. The migraines and nose bleeds that I was able to cause with it
were my only joy in life. But I have been reborn. A new life, a new beginning, not in the darkness but
directly in the light. And I will continue to keep a record of my work. But I shall make a new journal for my
new adventure. I will leave my old one here as it is a kind of death for her and a rebirth for me. It is fitting
that they remain together as we have. A new beginning deserves a new location. I have always fantasized
about traveling. I think I'll go to Europe and share my love with the women there. Women all over the
world need to be loved and I will set them free.
.
The entries which follow are from the second journal found with the first. One detail that was not released
to the general public was that both journals were bound together by what was later determined by forensic
investigators to be strips of unidentified human skin. Due to the handwriting this second journal was
believed to have been kept by Jamie’s murderer. The following entries may be considered to be too
disturbing by some people.
Reader discretion is advised.
Jan 10th Friday 1997
It’s been so long. So many years of waiting.
My hunger growing year after year. Tonight I sated that hunger for the first time since I was a child. I had
seen her before, in class, on campus and at the student union. So cute, so innocent. Perfect. She looked
so afraid lying there on my table, her little heart pounding under her perfect little breasts. When I made the first cut right across her abdomen I looked into her eyes. I’m not sure she even felt it. The look in her eyes was like total disbelief, distant and dreamlike. Her entire naked body began to tremble as if she had suddenly gotten very cold. Her skin grew pale and she was going into shock as the blood poured out down her sides onto the table then to the floor.
A beautiful crimson river. It wasn’t like what you see in the movies. The blood was almost black in the dim light. It looked sticky like honey, as it pooled around her body on the table top. She started this soft moaning just before the end and I smiled. The blood wasn’t pouring out when I made the cut across her throat. With the heart no longer beating things somehow got easier. I got so excited I didn’t pay attention to how long it took for her to take her last breath. I’ll be more attentive next time. I need to make it last. But that moan, so soft and my chest filled to bursting with warmth. I was so happy that she had given that gift to me. Almost as if she knew I wanted it, needed it, and she wanted for me to have it. How thoughtful she was. I think she loved me. God knows I loved her. I will love them all.
Jan 19th Sunday 1997
It was better this time. Last night was a good night. This one really struggled when she became conscious
and realized she was naked and tied down. She started bucking and jerking furiously. She didn’t know I was
in the room. She tried to scream through the duct tape. The sounds were quite as you would imagine,
guttural and primal. There was anger there hidden among her fear. She exhausted herself pretty quickly.
She was a pretty heavy girl and not in the best shape but still quite beautiful and of coarse I do not
discriminate, it’s one of my better qualities. I enjoyed watching her struggle but didn’t want to drag out her
suffering for some reason. It was turning pathetic and pitiable. I walked up and she saw me. I made the cut
quickly and deeply. This one felt it. She screamed under the tape and she bucked again. When she jerked
like that part of her intestine spilled out, tumbling over the edge of the table and it dangled there dragging
on the floor as it swung gently back and forth. Even though she couldn't see I think she knew something
very bad had just happened because she quickly stopped moving and she let out a pathetic little moan then
stared at me with a look I can not describe but that was very stimulating for me. Our eyes remained locked
and I was actually able to see the light slowly fade in her eyes until it was all gone. She gave me one last full
body jerk and it was over. I took her eyes out. They were her best feature and she wanted for me to have
them.
Jan 25th Sat 1997
This is the one that I had been waiting for. This one was special. Missy. Every day I could see how beautiful
she was and how tortured her soul was inside. She was calling out to me to save her and to love her. But
there was nothing I could do. Mom was trying to make sure that I couldn’t get out this time. Those tired
methods may have worked when I was a kid, but they won’t work now. I’m too strong and there is too
much for me to do. I’m needed after all and I won’t turn away anymore. Still they aren’t making it easy.
They’re doing everything to keep me down. They always have. Then there is all of the hand holding and
fake concern. It makes me want to puke. But I’m patient. I have had to be. So I watch and I wait, biding
my time until the right moment. It was hard pinning my newest conquest down both figuratively and
literally. Ha, I do have a great sense of humor, the ladies like that about me.
But once I knew when she would be alone everything fell into place. I think I loaded the syringe a little too
much and it took her a while to come around. I’m not even sure she knew where she was or what was
happening for the first five or ten minutes. She seemed so lethargic, but when I started removing her knee
caps she did have a stream of tears flowing down her pale face and that was nice. I’m ashamed of what
happened next. I started getting frustrated at her lack of participation in what should’ve been a perfect
experience for the both of us. When she failed to show the appropriate reactions when I cut her Achilles
tendons I lost my temper and jammed a screw driver through her right eye killing her instantly. I know it
was childish and it just ruined everything. I just have to learn patience in these endeavors. I know it wasn’t
her fault and I forgave her later. I think she understood and in her heart she still cared and I should know, I
eventually got to see it.
I really did want to keep her jaw bone, but I don’t really have a place to keep it. But just like the others she
wanted to give me something to remember her by and then told me she loved me. She had a beautiful
necklace with the Chinese symbol for love engraved on it. I believe she was trying to tell me something with
it. I gently removed it with all care not to disturb her as she had this look of serenity and peace that I had
worked so hard to give her. That’s when I removed her jaw bone. She convinced me that it was more
practical to keep the necklace rather than her jawbone and she was right of coarse. I had made the
argument that the mandible was more personal and a better representation of the intimate time we had
shared. But she insisted. I know what your thinking “She was dead” right? It was implied. I wanted to be an
adult about the whole thing and so I told her I was sorry for losing my temper. She understood and I really
believe that deep down she still cared.
Feb 3rd Monday 1997
I know this one is a little young. I think she’s sixteen. She graduated high school early and came here with a
heart full of hope and a head full of dreams. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. I know the story, I’ve
seen it before. Parents that can’t stand quitters or losers, driving her since the day she was born, she was
never allowed to have a childhood, the type of people who drive their kids until they succeed or until the
child breaks. Bastards. Maybe I’ll pay them a visit when I get the time. Once I’m free for good I’ll have
nothing but time. If any of them ever needed me it's this one. I think she’s going to wake up soon so I
have to go for now but I’ll be back…..I’m back. Miss me? I know, I miss myself when I’m gone. I took my
time tonight and I think she appreciated it. She knew she was special to me. I’m probably the only person
who appreciated her for her body instead of her mind. Although I was interested in her mind too.....Well,
not so much her mind as her brain.
I wanted to try something new this time so I slowly removed her face in one piece using my brand new
scalpel. I knew I could do it because I had once skinned a dog when I was nine. This was a little different
though, the facial skin of a young girl is a little more delicate than a dog, plus the dog wasn’t moving around
and fighting me. Unfortunately the duct tape came off with her face and her screams almost ruptured my
eardrums. I tried another piece of tape, but it just wouldn’t stick. I ended up having to cut her hair off and
stuff it in her mouth. I cut her fingers open and pulled the bones out, but I was disappointed. It’s so hard
to read a persons expressions when they don’t have a face. I didn’t think it through, I should have removed
her face last, but I didn’t let it spoil my mood. In spite of the condition she was in when I was done I think
she could sense that our time together was drawing to a close. I think she even welcomed it. I probably
would too if I had a life like hers. Poor girl I almost felt sorry for her as I slid the syringe tip into her neck and
filled her veins with air. It was a beautiful death. She should be proud. I know I am proud for us both.
Feb 7th Friday 1997
Forgive me father for I have sinned. It has been four days since my last murder..... HA! I'm just kidding. I'm
not Catholic. Tonight was a bit different, tonight I was engaged in conversation with my guest. She
managed to remove the tape on her mouth and I was shocked at her first words to me. She did not start
blubbering and pleading or saying “please don’t hurt me.” She simply said "My name is Kathryn.” Her voice
seemed so calm and smooth, free from uncertainty or fear. I must say it impressed me. I like a woman with
composure. It shows a certain inner strength and discipline. I had to be honest with myself, if it weren’t for
that whole pesky living witness thing I would have let her go. She was such a delightful conversationalist,
very eloquent and sophisticated. A real lady through and through. If I were one of the pathetic people
mired down in the cesspool of sexuality and love she would definitely be at the top of my dating list.
I liked her so much I did the only thing I could, I allowed her to believe that I was going to release her and
then drove a claw hammer through the top of her skull so that she never saw it coming and she didn’t feel
a thing. I owed her that much at least. And true to her personality she was very grateful and thanked me
cordially during the dismemberment process.
Love Justin
The Federal Bureau of Investigation, in exchange for their cooperation with this journalistic investigation,
requested that we include a statement by Charles M. Culver deputy director of field operations in Atlanta
Georgia. The statement reads as follows. “ We wish for the public to know that we pursued all legitimate
leads and exhausted all possible avenues of investigation before reducing the priority of this case to a cold
status. Every effort was taken to recover the body of Jamie Lee Collins. Any leads related to unusual entries
in the recovered journals were dismissed as a result of their nature or their origins. No evidence was ever
recovered to support certain entries of the recovered journals or to further the investigation.” Jamie’s fate
remains unknown.
Writers Note: No known suspect or person of interest connected to this case had ever been reported to
have had the name Justin. An investigation revealed that Jamie's mother had been missing and was
presumed to be secretly in an alcohol rehabilitation facility for several months during the time that this was
written and it is unknown if anyone had ever made an attempt on her life. She could not be reached for
comment and at this time remains unavailable.
Impressum
Texte: Dennis Hackler
Bildmaterialien: Open
Lektorat: Dennis Hackler
Tag der Veröffentlichung: 01.04.2011
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Widmung:
This work is dedicated to Nicole. You are my light in dark places.